A Day in the Life of Zuko
by KitKat Roar
Summary: The Story Continues, as the avatar team grows and establishes the peace they fought for in the world. Fire Lord Zuko discovers that the road to honor is not so straight, discovering his passion lies separate to his honor, he reaches a cross roads; his Nation or his love. Canon. toko
1. A Rocky Start

"I still don't trust him" Katara whispered loudly to Aang, who just looks back at me apologetically. I know she wants me to hear it; she reminds me every day in so many words how truly _evil _I had been, unforgiveably and undoubtedly evil. The scarred Prince chasing her and her Avatar all over the world... the boogeyman.

I'm walking behind them as we move through the forest, looking for a suitable camp site for the night. The sky is lit up in orange hues blending through a violet and blue. The sun is going down slowly and as Katara pointed out mere moments ago; as the sun goes down and the moon rises-my element's fuel dropping and hers strengthening. She was most talented at subtle warnings…

"You're falling behind, your _highness_" She yells and I hear Aang groan in disapproval.

"She takes a while to warm up to people" Toph murmurs, slowing down so I can walk besides her, throwing a smooth rock casually in the air and with skilled precision.

"She can take her time… I deserve the treatment, understandably" I reply her, snatching the rock when she throws it up again.

"You'd think with you being hot she'd have warmed up to you already" Toph snickers, kicking at the ground, a jagged rock popping from the earth and catching it smoothly in her small dirty hands.

"….huh?"

"You're a fire bender… fires hot?"

"Right" I say softly, throwing the rock in the surrounding forest. "That was a joke"

"You're humour sucks" she grumbles.

"Yours is in too much abundance" I reply, scowling at the Avatar and his Petulant Water Bender up ahead.

Xx~xx~xX

"Here" Katara snaps, plonking a small dollop of water-weed rice in my bowl. She smiles too sweetly before serving Sokka next, a portion six times the size of my own. I look over to Toph's bowl-her rice is twice my own.

I eat it slowly, imagining that it increases with each spoon-full I take up into my mouth instead of decreasing. In a minute, Sokka has finished his food and is grumbling about seconds.

"Sokka… don't be so greedy" Toph murmurs. "His royal highness here had a mouse-kittens share and he _hasn't _gobbled it down like you"

Katara looks up from her bowl and blushes when she meets Toph's unseeing gaze.

"You can't know that" Katara blurts, eyes wide and her spoon hovering over her mouth

"I heard the difference in the weight when the rice hit the bottom of that deep bowl" Toph murmurs indifferent. "Actually, I _barely _heard it!"

Katara refuses to look at me even though I'm busying myself with the few spoons of rice in my bowl, muttering about 'Blind Brat's' and 'Fire Nation Treachery'.

"Here" Katara mumbles, handing me her bowl, her gaze directed at the fire.

"Now you're giving his royal highness your left overs?"Toph snickers.

"Shut up Toph" Katara grumbles.

"If you're still hungry…" I begin, holding Katara's bowl in my extended hand unsure.

"Take the bowl Zuko" Sokka says sulking "Before she changes her mind and demands you spit up what you've eaten so far"

I take the bowl and glance quickly at Katara. Her cocoa skin is tinged red at her cheeks and she is looking at the ground with ruthless concentration.

Xx~xx~xX

"Katara…" Aang says, looking up at the starry sky contemplatively. "Is….."

"Complex" I finish. I really don't want to discuss his crush when all I want to do is get into bed-or more appropriately the cloth on the hard ground-and shut my eyes and forget that I have betrayed my family and may never set foot peacefully in the fire nation.

"I guess…"he mumbles, drifting swiftly from the boulder he was perched on to the ground. "Zuko… with everything that has happened, _I _am the _one _who has every reason to hate you…"

"Katara's mother was killed because of the fire nation" I say softly.

"I was killed by your sister once" Aang says, grinning like it was the funniest thing. "Zuko, I trust you… because once, in another life time… you and I were possibly friends and we can be friends now."

"Uh… okay"

"You're good" he says softly, his grey eyes filled with childish trust and ancient knowledge. "You just found yourself doing bad things"

"Goodnight Zuko" he finishes, turning around to look at the night sky. "We practice first thing in the morning?"

"Uh, that's the plan" I say. "Goodnight… Aang"

Its funny how for almost a year I had only though of him as the avatar. Not a boy lost in a world that wasn't of his time who just wanted to have friends and be normal. I wanted to be normal but that option was long gone when I was born as the fire prince.

"How was fire practice with twinkle toes?"

"Toph…" I grumble, exasperated from trying to get Aang to have confidence in fire and not fear it so much. "What's with the nicknames?"

"What's with the huffing and sighing" she counters. "Where you born brooding or is that a side effect of having no sense of humour?"

"Do you ever stop?"

"Do you ever smile?" she says, smiling a little and her opaque eyes crinkling a little, her nose scrunching up.

"You wouldn't know if I did" I grumble, sitting beside her on the boulder.

"That translates as 'no' in Brooding Humourless tongue"

"What's it like not seeing?" I ask abruptly. She sits still for a second; her small feet tucked under her on the rough boulder and then she bursts out laughing.

"Tell me that question hasn't been one of your brooding topics" she snickers. When she laughs, she shakes in an odd manner, her body moving away from people and hair hiding her face.

"Don't answer, I didn't mean to say that out loud"

"It's like seeing" she answers anyway. "I was born this way… it's all I know. But you know I 'see' through my feet anyway"

"Yes, I know" I whisper. "I just… don't you ever wonder what people 'look' like? Or if their frowning or smiling at you"

"I know your staring at me right now" she says softly.

"You can't know that" I tell her, my voice suddenly low and rough. My eyes are on her face in wonder; I don't know if it makes me cruel that I find her milky green eyes _fascinating _and revel in the fact that I can look at them without fear of her seeing into my own eyes.

"I… feel your eyes" she says and looks away from me. "This conversation topic sucks. You're turning me into a brooding humourless female version of you!"  
>She jumps of the boulder and walks quickly away, muttering to herself.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Can we take a break" Aang whines. His brow has a thin sheen of sweat on it and he is bracing himself on his knees, heaving and huffing.

All we are practicing today is forming a flame-a flame no bigger or intense as a flame on a candle. His fear of burning someone-Katara to be more precise-is making the simple task torturous.

"Fine"

"Don't say 'fine' like _that, _Zuko" he complains, drawing my short name out so it sounds like it has twenty letters instead of four.

"I didn't say it any way…. Aang"

"You rolled your eyes" he says, pointing at me accusingly, his lower lip jutting out.

"You're imagining things" I say, sitting on the grass and trying desperately not to roll my eyes again.

"No I'm not!" he insists. He can be so…

"Aang, pinch yourself…you may have entered the avatar state" I mutter.

He is silent for a moment and I rise panicked; have I offended him? His face is blank for a second before a ridiculously wide grin spreads slowly across it.

"You said a joke" he says softly, like I paid him a compliment. "That means you like me"

How he drew that conclusion is beside me but I return his smile slowly. It's hard being angry or disgruntled with Aang I soon realise; he _always _means well.

Xx~xx~xX

Toph has stopped teasing me for two days. She doesn't say more than four letters in one word to me. 'Zuko' is her answer for everything I have tried to say to her. She may have been offended by my curiosity with her blindness. She is _definitely_ offended with my curiosity…

I should not bother her so much. She is the youngest and probably misses her family. I miss Mai sometimes. She reminds me of Mai in an odd way-their sarcasm is thrown out in greatly different tones.

"Oh, dear heavens and after life!" Sokka shrieks, throwing his hands over his head exaggeratedly. "Do you ever _not _brood?"

"I'm not brooding"

"You're sitting in a dark corner, brow knitted intolerantly and lips a thin line" he says, eyes large and unbelieving. "Definitely brooding"

"What's on your mind, highness?" he asks, sitting beside me and pulling his legs up similarly to how I'm seated on the hard ground.

"I may have offended Toph" I say softly. I was already on thin ice with everyone; trying to gain their trust-this little development may see Katara giving me a teaspoon of rice for supper.

"You offended Toph and you're still living?" he asks, grinning at me. "look, Toph may be in a mood of late… but that's just because we are expecting Suki to join us soon"

"I don't understand?"

"Toph had a thing for me and well, I'm with Suki" Sokka says conspiratorially. "She's kind of young… or _was _kind of young at the time, if you catch my drift"

He nudges me and wiggles his eyebrows.

"I don't understand?" I say again, his words sound jumbled and unrelated in my mind.

"Dude, you're all brooding and super ninja fit… you _got _to know about _girls!"_

"Well, I have a… I _had _a girlfriend" I mutter.

"There you go!" he says, rising from the ground and dusting his backside. "Hold on to that memory before you end up a monk like Aang"

"Aang likes Katara and I think Katara likes Aang-that's not monk like don't you think?"

"Why are you reminding me" he mumbles, walking off.

I seem to offend everyone in some way-except for Aang. It's relatively hard to offend Aang; he tries a little too much to prove to me that we can be friends...or _were _friends once; it's hard to differentiate sometimes. He tries extra hard to compensate for Katara who has warmed up to me only in the sense that my dinner portions have improved and she ignores me now instead of reducing me to a quivering mess with her steely cobalt gaze.

I miss my banter with Toph. It's different from what she does with Sokka and after he told me she liked him once, I get it. I still miss it and envy Sokka the many easy relationships around him. I envy Sokka-the water tribe peasant with a black hole for a stomach

~xxx~

"_I'm never going to forgive you_…. _You're a murderer" Katara hisses at me._

"_Katara… I had no control over that!" I beg her, I'm on my knees in the dust and her blue garment is flowing and whipping ruthlessly in the wind._

"_Sins of the father…" she murmurs, her form becoming hazy and losing solidity-the blue blur she is reduced to blending into oranges and reds._

"_Traitor" Azula hisses, her form solidifying in Katara's place, her gown whipping and flowing in a similar manner._

_Mai is by her side, filing her nails despondently. "Traitor" _

"_Traitor" they hiss together._

"_Zuko"_

"_Traitor"_

"Zuko!"

"What?" I grumble, fighting of the thin blanket and reaching for my sword.

"It's Toph" she murmurs, her hand stilling my own in it's frenzied search. "You not looking to burn me again?"

"Never" I hiss, rubbing my good eye violently. "What… are we moving already?"

"No… it's still late" she says softly, kneeling by my sleeping mat.

We remain like this for a second, her cloudy eyes staring into the darkness and face an uncomfortable mask of…. _Something._

"Toph?" I say, pulling her from her reverie. "It's late… you're by my mat…?"

"I share my room with Suki" she says softly.

"That's… nice?"

"Sokka and her are playing hanky panky" she says, tilting her head to the side.

"You wanted to play with them or…?"

She grins, beside her melancholy mood and shakes her head. "Hanky Panky is _kissing _Zuko"

"Uhhh…"

"Right. They are _so _loud" she says, pulling my blanket of me.

"What are you doing?" I demand, trying to reach for my blanket, but her tiny hands are deceptively strong.

"I'm getting into bed so I can get some shut eye before we head down to the Fire Nation in a torturous journey" she says, slipping under the blanket.

"I'm only in my undergarment!"

"I can't see remember" she snickers.

"But I can, and you're in _your_ undergarment too"

"So… I'm just a kid… remember"

"You heard…?" I ask, mortified as she pulls my bundled clothes-that I had been using as a pillow-and lays her head on them.

"Mm hmm" she mumbles.

"I'm sorry" I say softly.

"For what?" she asks. "Me being a kid or me hearing it?"  
>"You are not a kid, just younger than everyone here" I state "And I'm sorry for how… callous Sokka had been. It was just his ego"<p>

"Boys and their ego's, huh"

"I don't understand?"

"You never do, Zuko, now Goodnight" she says, turning too her side, her back facing me.

"Why not go into Katara's bed?" I ask her.

"She is having a one on one, deep meaningful conversation with Aang" she grumbles sleepily. "And even then, I wouldn't. She's the ice princess remember? I don't want to wake up with frost bites on my toes…"

"And I'm the fire prince…" I whisper, more to my self than her. "So I burn"

I burn up inside, a fire that is never quiet.

"You're warmer, is all I'm saying. No need to go into masochistic brooding mode..." she finishes, yawning and then in three seconds she starts snoring… loudly.

I don't sleep with her tossing and turning combined with strangely _masculine _snores. I lay awake, contemplating the destiny in front of me, my betrayal and allegiance with the avatar. Well, at least Uncle Iroh would be proud of me… and I think my mother too. I don't know how Mai would feel-probably indifferent…


	2. Noticing Nobles

"So, is the life of a Fire Nation noble the same as that of an Earth nation noble?" Toph asks her voice shaky and strained.

We are in the air, on Appa and she is clinging onto the saddles hilt for dear life, a thin sheen of sweat on her brow and little moisture droplets on her small nose. I just realised that I am not the fairest of the group; Toph is definitely lighter than I am…

"You're doing it again" she murmurs, her lips pinching into a small pout.

"What?" I ask, trying to ignore the concerned looks Katara is giving her. She thinks I'm going to burn her again, I'm sure…

"Staring"

"Why is it such a problem? You can't even…!" I begin but her pointing out that I am constantly staring at her-in front of the whole group no less-has embarrassed me. I look away from her and scowl at the absurdly peaceful sky stretched out before us. Do the ancestor's not know we are going to war?

"I can't see you but I still know that social etiquette deems it impolite" she says sharply. I'm not sure why she gets bothered by it! She can't even see for goodness sakes. She is the one person I can look at without wondering if their averting their gaze because of my scar, my many faults or the fact that I am the Fire Lord's son.

"You didn't answer my question, Zuko" she insists.

"I've forgotten it" I lie.

"I'm also curious…"Katara says, her blue eyes meeting my own shocked ones. This is the first time she has said something to me that wasn't tarnished with a scowl or glare. This is the first time she has looked at me and I don't feel like the vilest creature to exist…

"Uh… I don't know" I mumble. "I guess… when I was younger, when everything was still…"

"Peaceful" Sokka urges.

"Ah, yes" I grumble, glaring at my hands. "Then… we had a few dinners with nobles from the earth nation. Same as any noble dinner. There weren't rocks being flung around or _stuff_"

"So everyone just sits around proper like and eats food?" Sokka asks.

"I guess" I say softly.

"That's my kind of party! Sitting and food…" he muses, a far away look on his face.

"Do you think we might have met at any of them" Toph asks softly. She seems to have relaxed a bit.

"If we did… both of us wouldn't remember I think" I say.

"You might not have been born, anyway Toph" Katara adds.

"Zuko is only like four years older than I am" she says brusquely.

"Yeah, that would have made him five and you one. He wouldn't be interested in you" Katara says, a little smugly.

I look at Sokka, who seems to understand girls a little better than I do, and he shrugs and indicates I keep my mouth shut. I had learnt long ago with Azula that sometimes a closed mouth keeps you safe and alive when it comes to women and psychotic sisters.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She sits on the ground, her pale cherry lips a hard line and thumps her tiny fists hard on the earth on her sides. A few feet away, jagged boulders slice through the ground in waves before disappearing again.

I know fire burns but earth sure looks dangerous in this moment.

Katara has made some stew thing she claims is a delicacy in her tribe. I'm not sure about that because Sokka hasn't ask for seconds and Aang seems too grateful today that he doesn't eat meat. Suki and I endure it in silence… watching Toph display a dangerous array of her prodigious talent in emotional flares. Flares that are similar to Azula's tantrums when she was younger…

Katara keeps talking; it's something she does when she is nervous. Talking and being overly motherly. She casts Toph anxious glances before finally braving the gracefully destructive earth bender and taking her some of her awful stew.

She places it at Toph's feet and murmurs something; we all watch with bated breath's-expecting some sort of epic earth and water duel to ensue. She leaves hastily, smiling too widely and tripping before finally resigning to the cave. Toph has her back to the food but she's stopped disturbing the earth.

I think I hear her mutter "Frosty Bitch"

"They really have a rocky relationship, huh" Suki says to me.

"Rocky…" Aang repeats, attempting to break the cold tension. He looks to Sokka for a complementary laugh but Sokka just shakes his head. "Never mind then… I'll go to Appa for laughs"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I have a bruise on my arm. It's not really that bad but with me being fair it's a little noticeable. I'm glad Toph can't see at this moment. It would be embarrassing for her to see what her little fists did to my skin. Her little fists that I am starting to think may be stronger than my much bigger ones…

_It's how I show affection_

I wonder how she says "I love you". A kick in the crotch?

"Why are you laughing to yourself?" Katara asks, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Nothing" I tell her, rising and trying to help her with the bags she's carrying. She shoo's my hand away and still looks at me sceptically; like I was trying to rob her. "Really, Katara?"

"I don't want you doing anything you're not used to" She says, but it doesn't seem to have been uttered to hurt.

"Am I going to have to risk my life to get you to trust me?" I shout, my temper-that I had been managing pretty well-getting the best of me.

"You'd get a slave to do that for you" she says smiling at my outburst. "You need to stop trying to prove yourself at every turn"

"You need to stop…"I fume, but I see Toph from the corner of my eye snickering. "What!"

"You two trying to prove that that little scene in the play-the one were you profess your love for each other-really isn't true" she giggles, clutching her midriff.

I feel the heat clawing up my neck to my ears and resting in my cheeks. Katara is red too, but she has resumed her task of picking bags and walks away quickly.

"Was that necessary, Toph?" I ask her. She has a satisfied smirk on her face.

"You were blushing weren't you?" she asks.

"Yes" I blurt. "Not because of…"

"Whatever" she says, raising her hand for me to keep quiet. "I had to get you back for making me bl…"

She stops hastily and turns away from me, her too thick black hair hiding her face.

"I made you blush?" I ask her. "When?"

"I never said that" she says softly.

"Yes, you were about to…"

"No I wasn't…"

"Toph" I sigh. "Why do you make everything so difficult?"

"What's difficult?" she demands, wheeling around, her cloudy lime eyes wide and expectant. "What the hell can be _difficult _for you…_Prince Zuko_?"

"Oh, don't spin that _your highness _rubbish on me, Earth Bender" I snarl, beside myself and confusingly angrily. "You're just as much a noble as I am!"

"Well then…" she sneers, her small hands trembling. "Then you won't be so _surprised _when I prefer not to answer you and walk away. Nobles don't really want to associate with _Banished Traitors_"

"Toph… all this because I made you blush?" I ask her softly, surprised by my own diminishing anger. I realise it's her defence strategy-get mad so we don't discuss the problem. It's what she does with Katara. "You made me blush too… when you punched me and said…well… It's nothing… bad. You make it such a bad thing"

She stops her fury, eyes wide and mouth a smooth 'o'.

"We can be friends right" I whisper to her. "You can be my friend right, here… with everything. With me being a Banished Traitor with a hideous scar"

"I…"

"You're my friend?" I beg her, not realising how desperately I had needed her-needed a friend.

"Say you'll be my friend, Toph" I insist, my voice coming out rougher and low.

"I'm your friend" she says softy and I hug her tightly. "And we are just noble warriors, too. No traitors or run away children here"

**THE ADVENTURE**

"Do you think I'll find some old man" she huffs, catching her breath. "And he turns out to be some kind of magician and restores my eyesight?"

"I don't know, Toph" I murmur, swinging my sword in front of me, slicing the thick undergrowth and roots to form a path for us. We are lost… in the jungle, and she is _convinced _this is her chance for an ultimate journey with me. A life changing experience because I am such good luck…

"Maybe we'll fall into a lake and it turns out to be _filled _with these amazing things that give our bending an extra edge…"

"You're bending is already amazing, Toph" I sigh.

"Maybe…"

"Maybe we'll find a road that leads to civilisation _without _running into any soldiers" I grumble. "That will be just about the best 'life changing' and 'blessed adventure' I could give you"

I stop, heaving and bracing myself on my knees. It's dark and the trees are endless…

"You're different with everyone else" she mutters behind me, her excitement diminished somewhat.

"No I'm not"

"Yeah…"she insists. "You don't _try _as much with me"

"What are you talking about _now" _I sigh, raising my hands in the air. "You want me to _not _be myself and constantly apologize for being born 'Prince Zuko'?"

"….I, it's not how I meant it."

"Sure sounds like it, Toph" I sigh. "let's just stop here… we'll find our way in the day time"

"I'll clear some space" she says softly, bracing her legs and pushing the earth back with the trees. She stomps once and tow boulder-like-walls emerge. "Some safety precautions?"

"Yes" I agree with her. "I'll make us a fire and…uh, we can… sleep"  
>"that's the plan, Sparky" she says yawning.<p>

She snuggles into my side, immodestly and sleeps soundly. No chainsaw massacre… just soft sighs. I don't sleep-I wish she was snoring. I wish she had her eyes open and scowling or sneering. I wish she didn't look less like the strong willed little sister I had been imagining her in my mind-the little sister to replace Azula. She looks like a beautiful alluringly delicate girl, with pure ivory skin and fair coral plump lips… fallen from some unknown heaven and landing in a shamed monster's arms. I can see the soft curves clearly now that she is so still…

"Toph"

"Hmm" she mumbles.

"You need to… move"

"I'm sleeping, I'll move in the morning" she complains, nudging more securely to my side.

"I… can't…sleep" I stutter. "With you…so close"

I don't know what to do with the feeling that has run all over my body in electric waves and snaked in my lap. I don't want to think about it or feel it. She is my little sister-we are just… alone in a forest… trying to find our way to the others. So she seems to have developed added…_things _or maybe they've gotten more noticeable…

"Toph!" I continue, pulling her up. "You can make a little cave thing for yourself…"

She rubs her eyes and her lips are pouting. She is not amused.

"And…"I stammer. "That will be safer, I'll l stand guard"

I get up quickly and lean by the wall-boulder. She sulks before getting up sleepily, in a drunken stance and slams her foot down and crawls into her make shift rock hut. She starts snoring in five seconds… but I hear the "freaky fire starting weirdo" comment she throws out prior.

"I'm filthy" she mumbles, pushing her arms out. Her skin is tinged with brown dust and little scratches.

"You never mind 'filth'" I sigh. "We are in the middle of this cursed jungle, were the hell do you think we are going to find…"

"There is a spring to the west" she says quickly. "I don't mind filth, but we are going to arrive in front of the whole rebel army… I don't have to look like I was rolling in the mud making mud pies. I want to look… business like"

"It's a war… not a business venture, Toph" I sigh.

"You're clean"

"You don't know that"

"You smell clean and your clothes… actually they always smell like smoke, so I might be wrong" she says, grinning.

"Well, I don't roll around in my element…"

"If you did, you'd be on_ fire" _she says, wiggling her eyebrows and grinning widely. It's her way of letting me know she has 'cracked a joke' and I need to 'laugh'.

So I laugh. "Ha ha ha, you are so funny mighty warrior, Toph"

"Let's go" she exclaims, barging through the vines and brush in the opposite direction. This is how she gets scratches and bruises on her arms and smooth skin…

"Toph" I say, exasperated and defeated. "If you can find a hidden spring in the jungle… what's stopping you from finding a way out?"

"we are too deep I think, can't see anything ahead besides animal, trees and rocks-guess we have ground to cover, huh" she says, putting her hand into the spring and then retracting it and shaking the water away.

"Is the water clean?" she asks me.

"Toph…" I grumble, walking over to the little rocky outcrop. The water is encased in the smooth slab of worn rock. "It's as clear as crystal"

"Wouldn't know, Sparky" she grins. "Would you mind warming it up?"

I place my hand in the water and pull heat from my centre through to my hand. The water steams at the top a little and I stop, sprinkling water on her… she frowns, not amused.

"I'm going to go find us something to eat" I say, walking away. "Call me when you're done"

"Sure thing, Firefly" she grins, already undressing. I hurry of, picking my sword off the ground and praying for something quick and easy to catch to come my way.

We are having salmon and roots for late lunch. I have no idea how to prepare it so boiled lightly salted roots and roasted salmon will _have _to be satisfactory. I slice the flesh coloured roots up, trying to remember whether Uncle had mentioned anything about brown skinned roots with pink flesh being poisonous… my hunger is making me exceptionally brave.

"Zuko!"

Oh, no… the soldiers! She's being attacked by some animal…

I run through the makeshift path down to the little spring, my hands already heating up and eyes straining past the trees and bush for armed men or some vicious sabre-toothed-jackal. I stop in my tracks, baffled

She is crouched behind the rocks, still in the water and her eyes are wide and anxious. Her head is the only thing I see and her little fingers gripping the edge of the rocky bath tub.

"What… where…?"

"Something came through the bush…"she whispers.

"You're Toph, the master Earth Bender…" I say, realising that I too had forgotten this when I had heard her scream. "Surely…?"

"It took my clothes" she mutters, her eyes wide and cheeks rosy. She raises a smooth cream arm from behind the rock ledge of the spring and points to the forest. "Scavenging dog-rat"

As my confusion dies down inside me, I see clearly for the first time. Her hair is wet, sleek and black-pushed away from her face in a black long wave. Her face is entirely visible. Creamy skin, green opaque large eyes with impossibly thick lashes, a small delicate nose and pink rose lips.

"Ah…." I stumble back and stow my sword back in its strap on my back. "Toph…?"

"You going to leave me to shrivel in the now warm water forever?" she asks sulkily. "Or are you going to offer me your shirt or _something_"

"What's 'or something'?" I ask daftly.

"Give me your shirt… please?" she says, rolling her eyes. "You can be so weird".

"Right…"I mumble, unbuckling my sword harness and placing it on the ground by my feet. "My shirt… you need to be… covered. Giant mosquito-ants all over the place and vines with needles and…."

"Shirt, Zuko"

"Yes" I take the shirt of and hold it out.

"I can't see, remember" she sighs, rolling her eyes again. "I bet your like a thousand feet away holding the piece of cloth out"

"Uh… but you're naked"

"_Walk _over and_ close_ your eyes when you are _near enough_" she groans "I thought you had a girlfriend?"  
>"Exactly!"<p>

"I mean… the whole chivalrous thing should come easily as a result… surely?" she extends her hand, waving it in front of her as I walk carefully forward. "I'm not out to _seduce _you, you know"

I groan and close my eyes. I bump into her searching hand and hand her the red shirt before bolting away from the scene.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"How do I look in men's clothing?" she asks, grinning and tugging at the hem of the shirt. "It's not too short is it?"  
>It is too short and you are way to <em>engaging<em> in it. "No, it's fine… I think I see Sokka"

"Where the heck have you guys…"Sokka shouts, stomping over to us from the port. He stops in front of me, his eyes raking my exposed upper torso before they drift to Toph, who is still pulling at the hem of my shirt. His eyes go large and zip from Toph to me in disbelief.

Katara runs over, muttering something about "childish behaviour in _nobles_" before stopping and reacting similarly to Sokka. Except, her eyes stop on my face, narrowed and full of accusations and disgust.

"No…." I begin, holding my hands out.

"You _didn't…"_ Katara hisses, her hands balled at her sides and thick hair looking like brown frames around her livid face.

"Didn't what?" Aang asks, floating from behind a hay stack near us. "What happened to your shirt…?"

His eyes drift to Toph and go wide with wonder and understanding. Yes, under all Toph's bulky garments-she has curves and they are now apparent in my shirt but the reason she is wearing the shirt…

"No, I did not do what you think I did…" I sigh. I haven't even done _that _with Mai…

"What did Zuko do?" Toph asks, still fidgeting with the hem that stops mid-thigh.

"Take _advantage _of you" Katara hisses, stepping forward threateningly.

"If by taking advantage, you mean letting me wear his shirt when my clothes got stolen by some _stupid _animal" Toph huffs "then yes. He is such a mean jerk, how dare he take _advantage_…"

"Why were you naked to begin with" Sokka asks, his eyes narrowed at me.

"Taking a bath" Toph sighs, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I do that sometimes… miss water and cleanness… can we drop it so I can go and wear something less girly"

"Hey!" I exclaim but I smile in relief. I don't know how I would have faired if the subject had been drawn out any longer…

I guess she didn't get her life changing experience but I definitely felt something change drastically in mine…

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW. I'M FINDING IT HARD TO GET INTO ZUKO'S HEAD; HAVE NO IDEA IF I'M DOING IT RIGHT. **


	3. Speech and Blossoming fruits

It feels weird; fighting for something I _finally _comprehend and have a positive emotion towards. It feels weird being part of an army, getting prepared for battle with soldiers that I actually know, respect and _care _for.

It feels weird not being angry… not being lost… not having _hate_…

"Zuko?"

"Yes… Aang"

He stands next to me, almost a head shorter and gazes out to the calm sea. His hands grip the rail of the ship tightly and the humour and carefree spirit that is always at the ready in his large grey eyes is gone.

"Sometimes I think you want to call me 'Avatar' instead of just Aang" he murmurs, a small smile tugging at his lips. I see now that he has grown, not just in mind and spirituality as monks do; but he is on the verge of entering manhood.

"It's a hard habit to drop…"I murmur. "After only knowing you as just an Avatar for so long"

"I understand" he says softly, his eyes dropping to his hands on the iron railing. "Zuko… whatever happens… with your father and me…"

"I understand it Aang" I whisper back to him. I sigh, letting out a tense breath and stare out to the orange sky. "I could never hold you accountable for _anything_ besides maybe not trying to give the world the peace it deserves. You have to try at all costs Aang… we have to succeed"

"We do, don't we" he says, facing me fully-his eyes wide and desperate. "So you'll still be my friend… after, if I come back… alive. You won't…."

"Whichever way you come back, I will be your friend, Avatar Aang"

"So tell me again" Toph whispers, fighting of giggles while strapping her war armour on. She is in my chamber, on my bed and the door is wide open. The soldiers pass us with raised eyebrows or maybe I'm imagining it…

"She didn't kill him" I sigh. "I don't know why you are finding that hard to believe"

"It's just… she has been walking around looking for _someone _to kill over it" Toph says, shaking her head and feeling for the buckles of her leather wrist bands "and she finds him and does nothing"

"Not everyone is out for blood and glory"

"Not everyone has balls"

"You have balls?" I ask her, smiling.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Sparkles" she grins, struggling with the buckles. "What's with the staccato heart beat?"

"Nothing" I mutter, ignoring the heat in my face and walking over to her on the bed. "Let me help you with that"

"I got it" she chuckles, managing to find one loop and buckling it. "Wouldn't want you trying to 'prove' yourself or anything"

"You can't still be angry Katara and I went…"  
>"Now why would I be angry?" she laughs sardonically. "Katara goes on a journey with you and discovers she really truly is a good person who has that <em>desirable quality<em> to **not**__kill the man who possibly murdered her mother_. _I go on a journey with you and end up naked and shrivelled like a pea-prune while you battle with your 'virginity'or maybe it was sexuality?"

"Virgin…?"I stutter, pulling my hair in disbelief. "What… I am not…a… What did that have to do with _anything?"_

"You were oddly uncomfortable" she grins. "Is all I'm saying, taking forever to hand me my clothes like being near me or seeing me naked would spread the deadly disease known as boobylitis"

"If you could see and understood that nakedness is a very…" I huff, wheeling around for some unknown person to appear and back me up. "People who can see don't want to _see _nakedness!"

"Not teenage boys from what I know. Or men" she says matter of fact, moving on to the next wrist band.

"You're like my little sister" I sigh, exasperated and nervous. "It would have been wrong for me to want to… or to feel… we are friends?"

"Well, that explains why I beat you in every duel then… " She laughs, falling back on my bed and heaving and rasping from the force of her giggles. "It always amazes me how _easy _it is to get you worked up!"

"You were teasing me" I say stoically but inside me the chaotic fire has died down and left a scorching sensation similar to defeat and shame.

"Yes" she breathes. "It still amazes me how boys would prefer to be gay than be called a virgin… even if it is true"

"You are a homophobe now?"

"So you're gay?" she asks, leaning up and bracing her frame on her elbows.

"That wasn't what…."

"It would explain a lot if you were" she grins. "Obsession with Aang… dislike of Katara…"

"I… is this because I wouldn't let you sleep on me?" I stammer, trying to play her game of turning tables but failing profusely. She is so much like Azula like this… making me appear like an idiotic inexperienced child.

"Another weird clue to your sexuality" she grins widely, showing pearly small teeth.

"You are heavy" I growl. "There is a war we have to prepare for but you have time to…"

"I'm done" she states, getting up and walking towards me. She punches me on the same shoulder from the day of the play. "Don't die, okay?"

"You… too?" I say, rubbing the shoulder. "I think you've just injured my arm before the battle"

"I injured your manhood, Sparky… nothing serious" she shouts, walking out.

"I guess you have to trust me now" I groan, leaning on Katara's slender shoulder as we limp away from my insane little sister.

"Huh…?" she whimpers, her blue eyes glistening as they look up at me.

"From before…" I sigh. "When I asked you if I would have to die for you to trust me. This is about the closest I can get to that..."  
>"I've <em>trusted<em> you for a _while _now Zuko!" she giggles, a little hysterically over the traumatic scene we have just left. "You just have a difficult time separating teasing, banter and actual dislike"

"Hmm" I murmur. "You'd think from hanging around Toph I would've gotten better at it, huh?"

"You would think that, huh" she says, a smile on her ashen lips. "You'd think I would loosen up from hanging around the most playful Avatar ever to be reincarnated"

"Hmm" I sigh, the edges of my conscious blurring.

"Zuko?" she whispers over the rushing sound.

"Zuko!" my mother calls, as I dive into the deep end of the pool in childish glee, and discover a second into the water that I am about to die. Azula could swim in this end of the pool, so why not me?

Blue darkness and water. Pale lime colours and jet black grass. Beauty.

"Zuko?" she asks her voice monotone and levelled. "You have to wake up now, you've healed"

I can feel her cool long fingers stroking my face, the side without the scar.

"Zuko… I know you're conscious now" she murmurs. "Wake up"

I open my one good eye experimentally and see her after so long. Her hair is done differently and she may have some type of balm on her lips. She stares at me and I stare back in wonder. She is the same, the same paleness and still beauty without a care in the world.

"Mai?"

"Yes?"

"We did it?" I whisper, holding her hand to my chest. "Aang..."

"The avatar" she looks away when she says this but she lets me hold her hand. "He made it"

"So… father?" I choke out. "Azula…?"

"They are alive and well" she says, looking at me but the look in her eyes has not changed. "Azula… well, she has succumbed to her… _brilliance"_

"No one…" I whisper, leaning up on the bed and looking at her intensely. "No one was…"

"I don't know" she sighs, playing with the satin bedcovers.

"You were my only concern" she whispers, her voice slightly changed but I recognise the subtle emotion quavering beneath her cold bravado. "That water bender…"

"Katara" I say automatically.

"Well, _her…_ she healed you"

"Did anyone else…" I ask her, my heart squeezing and releasing in pained intervals. "No one else came… in here…?"

"Just the avatar and the water… _her_" she says softly, her hand tracing circles on the bed covers. "And me"

"Yes… so are we…?" I ask her nervously, failing to meet her dark eyes.

"Of course we are" she finishes. Mai was never one for games and riddles. "You are going to be Fire Lord, you know"

"I had a feeling" I sigh, but the feeling I had and the one I am having right now is similar to water and oil mixing. "You did not hear of any…. _Casualties_"

I am failing to stay still, my heart thumping against my chest mercilessly and my hands gripping her long fingers desperately. I don't look at her and opt to stare at the invisible patterns she draws on the bed covers. I know she can feel the sweat seeping through the pores of my fingers and the added heat escaping from the skin of my hand.

"It was a battle, Zuko" she says stagnantly, breathing noisily and irritably. "Of course there were casualties. I know you have changed, becoming more concerned with the _common man_ but you are getting unnecessarily worked up"

"She is my little sister" I murmur, trying to hold on to that memory of her, the last one I had of her laughing on my bed… and punching my arm hard.

"She is okay, insane but okay" Mai murmurs. "The water tribe… the girl… Katra… she said when you are well and ready she could help you try and _heal _her"  
>"her who?"<p>

"You're little sister…?"She asks, eyeing me with concern. "Azula?"

"Right" I sigh. "I should… uh, get ready"

I make to move but Mai remains seated on the bed, scooting slightly so I can remove the covers.

"I'm in my undergarments, Mai" I whisper.

"How do you think you got into them?" she says.

"So he has no powers?" I ask Aang again.

He nods, twirling the little stick in his long slender fingers and looking with wonder at the large court yard. He has shaved his head and adorns his air nomad garments, wearing his tattoo's proudly and fearlessly.

"No powers" he murmurs.

"And Azula" I ask him softly. "You couldn't just… take away her bending too?"

"It doesn't work like that, Zuko" he says seriously. "It's not her bending that makes her… ill"

"Of course" I say, watching Momo weave through the peach-berry bush, his furry mouth a mess of red juices.

"Thank you… for saving Katara, Zuko" Aang says softly, his grey eyes-I find them disarming at times in their youth and childishness in one so wise-looking up at me with love.

"I… it was… nothing, anytime" I stammer, playing with the sleeve of my royal gown. "So are you and her… are you…"

"I don't know!" he giggles, catching a peach-berry that Momo flings at him. "She is older than I am, more mature I guess but she is patient. We shall see"  
>"Oh, yes" I whisper. "Patience"<br>"You and Mai?"

"Mai?" I ask him dumbly.

"Your girlfriend?" he asks, raising his eyebrows and smiling knowingly.

"Uh… we are back on track" I say softly, blushing at the memory of her severe gaze on my body as I bathed and dressed. Her eyes narrowed and her voice low when she told me to use the 'apricot butter lotion' and not the 'cocoa-cream'…

"She is… sort of like you" he says, a cheeky twinkle in his eyes. "Minus the hothead. Other than that, I can see it"

"See 'it'?" I ask, feeling like a real virgin for receiving insight on relationships from a prepubescent avatar monk.

"Yeah…"he sighs, rolling his eyes at my slowness. "If you hadn't found each other I suspect you would have ended up in a royal arrangement anyway. It just makes sense, you and her."

"Not like Sokka and Suki" I blurt.

He laughs heartily, startling Momo who pauses for a second before resuming his greedy stuffing of the fruits.

"No, not like Suki and Sokka" he finishes, still chuckling. "Or Katara and I, I suppose. It's nice to find that some of us have true balance easily in our better halves."

"Balance" I breathe, closing my eyes. I felt unhinged and unbalanced inside-like I was leaning too much to one side and on the verge of tipping over.

"Toph is back with her parents" Aang says, biting into the giant berry. He watches me from the corner of his eyes as my eyes snap open and my whole body tenses. "I sent her a letter about your coronation…"

"I was going to do that" I stammer.

"…she will be here too, naturally" he finishes, wiping his lips of the juice with the sleeve of his robe.

"Toph…" I whisper. "She…?"

"She will be here" he repeats, rolling his eyes again. "You need to have that speech problem checked, Zuko"

"What speech problem?"

"It gets worse at the mention of Toph" he grins. "It will make royal negotiations and meetings very difficult"

"She's my little…"

"Yeah, yeah… we all know" he says, raising his hand. "Little sister, Toph"

"So you'll invest in the project then?" Sokka asks, his gait bordering on skipping at his excitement. We are walking briskly down the hall-late for dinner after Sokka insisted on a rematch when I beat him at a sword duel. I had to let him win if we were ever going to show up…

"Yes, Sokka" I groan, rolling my eyes. "Only if your plans don't contain stick figure men and smiley faces"

"Hey!" he shouts in indignation. "It gives my plans character and keeps everyone motivated and at ease…"

"It makes me feel like I am in a nursery school rather than a meeting" I sigh, raising my hand at the guards as they open the door to the dinner room.

"You're going to be one grumpy Fire Lord" he mutters, walking ahead to sit beside Suki.

I smile at Mai, who is at the right hand of my seat at the bottom head of the table. Aang is opposite me naturally. I walk over to her and stop when I see her. Aang said she would arrive on the day of the coronation; he said there had been delays with her family and such. She is seated between Katara and Suki, hair made up in an unnaturally pretty style for her, blush on her pale creamy cheeks and red balm on her lips. Her milky emerald eyes stare up, unseeing and bored-she should not be so beautiful … surely this is a result of having to return to her old life as a noble. Was she always…

"Zuko?" Sokka asks. "You are not Fire Lord yet, you don't have the pleasure of prolonging my torture… I mean, the minutes before we can eat"

"Right" I stammer, walking quickly to my seat. "I apologize, Toph…"  
>they all look at me with raised eyebrows, smirks and questioning looks.<p>

"I meant Toph, our new guest" I stammer, raising a glass of apple-wine towards Toph and her family. "And everyone else" I finish, managing to place the shaking glass back down on the table without spilling anything.

"Thanks, Sparky" she grins. "But its _Master Toph_, now… seeing as how I am a master earth bender and all. I agree with Sokka, you are torturing us."  
>"Yeah" Sokka exclaims. "Can we eat?"<p>

I nod once and feel Mai's reassuring hand ghost over my own.

"To Peace" Uncle Iroh raises his glass with conviction and strength. He really should be Fire Lord…

"To peace" the thirty plus dinner guest murmur, the sound reverberating of the walls and back into all our hearts.


	4. Dinner Topics

_This is the beginning of a new Era. This is the beginning of peace and prosperity for the entire nation and those surrounding it._ _We bring strength to each other, as we have seen with the Avatar-all four elements are strong when united as one. _

_United but maintaining their individuality. Individuals who care for each other. Brothers and sisters._

This is what I meant to say when Toph asked if I could rehearse my speech to her as the Fire Lord.

Instead what came out of my mouth was "You're eyelashes are too thick".

"Uh… okay" she said, rolling her opaque eyes. "If you want to do it with Aang… I get it"

"No….!"I shout, raising my hands as if to stop her from leaving. She remains seated calmly by the side of the pond and is indifferent to my little outburst. "I have rehearsed with Uncle and Aang as well as Katara…"

"Okay then" she says. "You can't blame me for trying to get a sneak preview… now can you?"

It's the first time I have been alone with her, it's the first time I have truly been free and it only lasts five minutes. Her mother emerges from behind a giant purple Gargandia bush and calls her 'Toph Doll' inside to not bother his 'Highness'. Toph frowns at the nickname and rises, heaving and breathing loudly before following her parents inside.

I wouldn't know that those five minutes would be the last I would spend with Toph before I changed into this _Fire Lord…._

_Xx~xx~xX  
><em>

It's meeting after meeting all day. Trying to disarm unwilling fire-nation soldiers without causing a rebellion in my own army and maintaining peace in the many nation's villages and cities. There are many other agenda's and concerns but Katara has insisted that I pay attention to this one first; in one of her slightly scolding letters from the Northern Water Tribe-were she is training. She behaves like my mother….

He still hasn't told me where she is. Laughing manically and jeering at my weakness when he is the one chained up in a dark cell.

"Fire Lord…" Lord Garza murmurs beside me. "The contract… for the ships…?"

"Huh?" I look down on the parchment with the square formal writing. "Right, ships to the Southern Water Tribe?"

"Yes, my lord… as we discussed five minutes ago…"

"I am Fire Lord, Garza…"I hiss, scrawling my signature and stamping the royal symbol on the bottom of the paper. "Don't let my youth fool you into being a petulant old man; otherwise it will be your new title…"

"Oh" he says softly, swallowing and readjusting his collar. "I meant no…"  
>"Here, the ships should leave as soon as possible" I hand him the signed paper. "I have a letter for you to hand to Warrior Sokka… personally"<p>

"Yes, Fire Lord" he stammers. "My lord"

"Have you had something to eat?" Mai asks, sprawled on the claret chaise and picking at peach-berries absently.

"No" I sigh, shrugging off the heavy royal gown and handing it to the hand maiden. "Meeting after accursed meeting"  
>"hmmm" she murmurs, sucking on the fruit.<p>

"To top it off, Katara is pressurising me to deal with the soldiers in the villages swiftly" I groan. "She thinks I sit around eating fruit all day…"  
>"Hmmm" she sighs. "That peasant girl…"<br>"Her name is Katara and you had better remember that when she comes here"

"Comes here?" Mai giggles. "Why would she be coming here and why would I, the Fire Lords wife worry about her name…"

"Wife?"  
>"Oh, I have been meaning to tell you" she sighs, leaning up and brushing her bangs away from her eyes. "You need to ask me for my hand in marriage now"<p>

"Now?" I say, my eyes large and hearing impaired suddenly. "Wife?"

"Yes, Zuko. Wife and now"

"But I have the war to…" I begin.

"War is over, Zuko" she whispers. "Okay, maybe I am being a bit too much. You can ask me within the year, then"

I groan and fling myself theatrically onto the opposite chaise from hers. A handmaiden appears suddenly with a giant Hibiscus-Palm leaf fan, cooling the air around me.

"Mai…" I groan, covering my eyes with my hands. "Could you be a little more cooperative?"  
>"Ty Lee keeps nagging me about it" she murmurs. "And the Avatar and the Water Peasant…"<br>"Aang is not getting married!"

"That's not what I said" she snaps. "What I was going to say before you interjected was the water girl can't marry before us. It would be… undignified"

"Why do you find Katara threatening?"

"Threatening to my standing as nobility amongst our peers, yes" she hisses, her eyes narrowed and mouth a hard line. "You take what _she _says more seriously than anything I contribute!"

"Is this about restructuring the Fire Nation monarchy system…?" I begin.

"She suggested you implement a few new rules and 'codes of conduct' for potential heirs to the thrown and that they should be educated about the other nations" Mai says, waving her long pale hand in the air dismissively. "And you shot down my contribution"  
>"Firstly, Mai…"I sigh. "It was a dinner topic. And secondly, your contribution was changing the maple wood throne to a darker wood, preferably cherry-blood wood shade, with gold inlay and crimson satin stuffing!"<p>

"You say orange-tomato and I say orange-potatoes" she huffed, stuffing another peach berry in her mouth petulantly and looking away from me.

"Don't you mean _you_ say orange-_tomatoes_?" I ask her, bemused.

"The conversation has ended" she says icily.

Women…. Worse than treacherous Noble Lord's trying to make extra money of off you…

Xx~xx~xX

"Your mother…" Ozai murmurs, closing his eyes in a peaceful manner. "Ursa"

He says her name with reverence and disappointment mixed in one. He frowns in the end, when whatever memory he is recalling finishes and glares at me.

"You look like her, boy" he growls angrily. "Or should I say 'looked' like her… that little scratch on your face has changed everything, huh. She said you were handsome, I said you were too pretty…"

"Where is she?" I ask him softly, pulling my knees to my chest. I watch him from his prison-walking and slamming his fists against the wall-and sigh. I have had him unchanged and moved to a cell with a small high window for air. He does not notice these little things I do because I love him. I love my father, the tyrant and unforgiving monster.

"A Fire Lord does not sit on the floor like a child" he sneers, pointing at my still form on the ground, disgustedly. "A Fire Lord…"

He begins his rant of how a Fire Lord should conduct himself and how many concubines a Fire Lord should have. Am I still a virgin, he asks. He says he can smell it of off me. He says he can see it in my soul that I am not a man. I am not even a woman. I am nothing.

"No wife yet?" he scoffs. "Uh, if you wanted me gone so badly, you could have just let Azula…"  
>"Azula has gone insane" I tell him, still staring at the hard ground beneath me.<p>

"Better an insane leader than a pathetic _nothing_" he sneers, walking over to me and grabbing the iron bars that restrict his freedom. His face pressed against the long poles leading to the ceiling and in the dim light I can see his once meticulously kept beard is an unkept wild bush and his eyes are dark.

"Are you waiting for the Avatar to ask for your hand in marriage?" he asks sweetly. "Or are you waiting for the woman to open her legs and guide your limp excuse of manhood into her? I weep for the spawn you will spurt out. I weep with my ancestors for your _failures..."_

Xx~xx~xX

_Zuko…_

_We are having a slight problem with your troups in the earth kingdom. They are a little confused it seems. I know you are very busy but it would send a good message to all the necessary people if you managed to come down here._

_Your friend in living and death_

_Aang_

_**p.s** seeing as I sign the letters with 'Aang' could you address me as such-none of this **Avatar **Aang you insist on. I know it has a nice ring to it but it's so formal and I hear it all the time… I took your request to drop the **Fire Lord**, so do the same ZUKO!_

"Who's the letter from?" Mai asks, pulling my rob off. "Why is your robe dirty? Were you rolling in the sand?"

"The letter is from Avatar Aang" I grumble, placing it carefully on the games table. "I am dirty because I was in the cells"

"Why do you torture yourself with Fire Lord Ozai?" she asks, reaching for the letter. I take the letter back and tuck it in the pocket of my shirt.

"He is not the Fire Lord anymore and I have to find my mother" I murmur.

"What did the Avatar want?" she asks. Mai asks a lot of questions in one breath and then goes for long periods of silence. It is confusing.

"He wants me to go on a trip to the Earth Kingdom"

I try not to over think the words-_ "…it would send a good message to all the necessary people…"_

"It doesn't sound so bad" she sighs. "Doesn't that little blind earth kingdom girl live in Ba Sing Sei?"

"Which one?" I ask, staring at out the window to the sea.

"Are there a lot of blind earth benders….?" Mai whispers mostly to herself. "Your uncle is fond of this particular blind earth bender…"

"Toph…" I say slowly, trying to avoid the on coming stammer. "She… is… her family lives in Gaoling"

"So…?" Mai huffs. "You can go with Uncle to visit her, make it a royal visit. Won't that send a good message? She is a noble is she not?"  
>"Yes… the Bei Fongs"<p>

"Just go" she sighs. "I want all this nonsensical noise to die down already. It is delaying our wedding"

Xx~xx~xX

"You made it!"

"uh…" I stammer, failing to dodge Avatar Aang's hug and looking over to Uncle for support and assistance. "Avatar…"

"I will kick your butt, _Fire Lord _Zuko… if you don't cut that Avatar out"

"You can't kick my butt…" I say smiling. "Without going into the Avatar state, _Avatar _Aang"

He grins widely and slaps my back hard. He isn't so short anymore but he has little muscle mass I note. All this vegetarian stuff he insists on is to contribute I bet…

"A little sparring session before we dive head into things, then?"

"Yes" I agree, putting my arm around his shoulders. "A reminder to respect your elders, eh Aang?"

"Technically, I am a hundred plus years old"

"Who would've thought the Avatar and Fire Lord would walk arm in arm?" I hear Uncle murmur to one of my bodyguards behind us.

Xx~xx~xX

"We can go to visit the Bei Fongs later on" Aang huffs, wiping his brow and face. He raises his hand for us to pause our duelling for a moment.

"I never said anything…"

"Yes, yes…but it would be good for us to pay them a visit" he breathes. "maintain our earth kingdom connections, you know-outside of Toph"

"Yes, you are right" I say, restructuring my stance. "One last round… I'll let you choose a different element that is _not _air"  
>"what's with you and my air bending!" he complains.<p>

"It freaks me out" I murmur, charging my chi and pulling on the heat inside me. "All that floating and drifting like a leaf…"  
>"Air bending it is" he grins wickedly and we resume our play fight in smoke and gusts of wind.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Their house is impressive. Large and cultural but with an elegant sophistication that could only belong to a noble family. Their garden is well manicured and I can see that everything is green in the dim light of the lamps. The flowers are plentiful and blooming freely and there are various little ponds everywhere. It is hard for me to imagine Toph the Tough growing up in this fairytale like setting. It is hard for me to imagine Toph around such feminine grace contained in nature…

"Avatar Aang and Fire Lord" Toph's father greets us at the door. Our escort of guards stops short of the foyer as I enter with Aang and Uncle.

"What am I" Uncle whispers to me. "Chopped liver?"

Aang laughs out loud, startling the Nobleman Bei Fong and causing the doorman to look at us anxiously. Aang has not let his added responsibilities and busy life intercede with his _self._ It is refreshing to be around him and Uncle after so long. After constantly looking at devious stares from the Fire Nation Nobility at my table and Mai's own sudden change…

We sit at the dinner, Aang chatting away about his many visits to the different nations since the peace and new Fire Lord-he includes me in his story to stop my obvious scanning of the many faces on the dinner table for a pair of clouded lime eyes. she is not here and I note there is no empty seat to suggest she may only be late.

"Can I ask…" Aang whispers to Toph's mother, leaning close to her ear but his grey eyes are trained on my face. "Where is Master Toph?"

"Master Toph…"Lady Bei Fong whispers back in a girly tone reminiscent of Toph's rougher one. I notice she looks like Toph-or is it Toph looks like her-but the features are strangely made up in make up and lipstick. A much older attractive version of Toph.

"Toph finally agreed" she whispers conspiratorially. "To finish with 'Finishing School'. It took a lot of convincing and tantrums but I had to remind her…. before the title of 'Master Earth Bender' she is a Lady of the Bei Fong house!"

"She doesn't want people to know really" Lady Bei Fong says softly, sipping her grape-dew wine delicately. "So it might not be so wise to mention it to her. She finishes end of this year… if she passes"

"Hmm, don't worry Zuko" Uncle Iroh whispers to me. "we can always track down that other earth kingdom girl you were interested in"

"I have a girlfriend" I hiss to him.

"So do a lot of men…" he chuckles. "But few have _wives. _Besides, we have to do something about your little status"

"what are you talking about, Old Man" I hiss at him, looking around the table for any potential listeners.

"I know you have not tasted the breast of a woman as yet" he says, sipping his wine nonchalantly. "Trust me Zuko, when I tell you… Better than Honey-Strawberries in sweetened cream"


	5. Zuko the Balanced, Ozai's Son part 1

_**SENSITIVE CHAPTER**_

"Fire Lord Zuko, Lady Mai is asking to see you"

"I'm busy, as you can _clearly _see!" I hiss, my whole body heating up and the balance I try so hard to maintain inside me tipping over.

"She insists…"he stammers, bowing over as I rise angrily from my chair. "She is on her…."  
>"Get out!"I shout, flinging a ball of flame near him and scorching the marble floor. "Find someone else more capable to replace yourself with, if I see you…"<p>

"Zuko?"Mai murmurs, emerging from behind the grand door of my office slowly and eyeing the quivering secretary indifferently. "I suggest you hurry with your exit, man"

"Fire Lord…"he stammers, walking backwards and staring fearfully at my smoking fists. He leaves finally and I hear him run down the hallway.

I am left alone in the too huge office that was once my fathers. Mai had it redecorated-I suspect under her mothers influence-and it looks masculine and cold. She used red colours-naturally but it's a wine colour with black accents that are to intense with the floor. It's cold and lonely.

She stands across me-at the other side of the giant table-her hand touching the back of the visitors chair lightly. She has her lips in a hard line and her eyes are dark and far away. She is far away from me. I did something wrong last night….

"Zuko" she says softly. "How was the morning meeting?"

"The… Fan Xi made me look like a fool" I say, looking away from her in anger at the memory. The memory of the sneering Ozai loyalist questioning my manhood. The memory of my manhood being in question from last night with Mai…

"I heard" she sighs. "About that…"

"He… _they _have remembered that I am still the Fire Lord" I hiss.

"And Ozai's son" she murmurs.

"What?"

"You are Ozai's son" she sighs. "Your temper is reminiscent of him… it was good of you to remind them…"

"Ozai's son" I say softly and hate how filled with reverence I am at the words.

"But Zuko" Mai says in her low voice. "Next time… don't burn the board table… they are very expensive and the wood is rare"

"Yes, Mai" I murmur, my thoughts a thousand feet away, to the prison cells and the dark chamber where my father is probably pacing in fuming glory. Would he be proud I burnt a board table down…?

"_You burnt a table…? Well done, Zuko"_ I hear him in my mind, voice full of sarcasm_. "Maybe next time you'll burn chairs and coffee tables too. Then, when you are really a big boy…"  
>"You can burn down whole nations" <em>Azula finishes.

"Zuko?" Mai says softly. "Are you okay?"

"If you would mind leaving me to do my work" I say dangerously softly. "You are not to barge in here as though we are already married… unless you want to rock the chances of that happening"

"Is this about last night?" Mai asks her eyes wide and confused. "Is this about me _barging _into your bed chamber…?"

"Out" I say softly. She stands still for a moment, staring at me in bewilderment and spins around in her unfamiliar fury and exits before slamming the door beautifully.

I hate how my mind works and how it pulls useless memories that are unrelated at the most inappropriate times. Memories…

Xx~xx~xX

I was only thirteen years old when I was sent to wonder the oceans for a fabled powerful old man. I was only thirteen on a ship full of men who deemed me a spoilt treacherous _scarred _son. Thirteen… that was older than the Avatar and it shames me… I shame myself when I look back on it with tones of self pity.

It confuses me and shames me because of who I am now. I know that Ozai-my father is twisted-but I still feel as though I may have deserved it. I still think back and wonder how I could have done things differently… I know that many in the Fire Nation think the same. I hear it in their quiet thoughts and see it in their shifting glances.

I keep this to myself, my fears and paranoia. I have always kept it to myself because Azula taught me that sharing your fears is voicing out your weakness. I don't tell Mai that I have an unhealthy fear of her… it is strange to me but I know it is a fear. I don't tell Uncle although I am sure he knows; that Old Man knows and see's too much sometimes even though he is miles away!

The fear of Mai… she has not done anything and it is not her fault. The problem is within me. It is always _within _me.

When I was younger but not too young to be considered a child-I went to the beach with my sister Azula. Is it pathetic of me to miss her, now?

I went to the beach with Azula after she had asked me to accompany her in her special methods of persuasion. It usually involved pointing out how "sad it was that the Fire Lord's son-the Great Fire Lord Ozai's son-had no friends. How sad it was that Prince Zuko sat in his bed chamber trying to study the Fire Bending manuscripts to improve his pathetically _disappointing _bending"

"Come with me, Zuko" she had whispered to me. "I'll teach you this one move that will impress even father if you come. I'll teach it to you on the beach…"

I had looked at her sceptically and asked her why she would want to help me with bending and bother her and her silly stupid friends at the beach.

"He doesn't look at you" she whispered. "It's because you look like _her_. But he will look at you then…"

I must have been eleven and a half or twelve at the time and desperate to prove to father-The Great Fire Lord Ozai-that he could look at me too. I may look like her, but he could look at me still-I was a worthy son. I could be a _worthy _son… even if I looked like her.

Azula was going to the beach with Mai and Terra-her two deemed worthy playmates. Mai had been very young then and too quiet; going along with every game Azula played and careful not to anger the royal miniature tyrant least she be burned. Terra was probably three years older than them but had less wit than both of them combined. What she shared with Azula was a supernatural _mean _streak.

The beach was hot and sandy. Azula suddenly developed a deadly case of selective amnesia that erased the part about her teaching the 'special move'. She ignored me and I was left to sit in the sun and burn. I had fumed and sulked but there was nothing to be done. We were to leave at a set time. Not before, because father was having his thirteen female 'healers' attend to him.

"Zuko, you look like a crispy piece of meat" Azula sneered, poking my sunburnt skin. "A burnt fire bender!"

Terra shrieked with cruel glee and Mai giggled softly; eyes wide and scared. The hand maidens were far off and ignoring us. Even if they had been near, I would be at the mercy of my little sisters verbal attacks.

"He is so small…"Terra murmured. "Not like your father…"

She had a crush on Ozai. How ambitious at such a young age.

"Shut up Terra" Azula said softly but Terra missed the dangerous edge in Azula's voice.

"You two don't even have boobs yet" Terra sneered "You can't tell me _anything_"

Azula and Mai simultaneously looked down at their flat chests and Azula frowned. She hated being beaten at anything; it seemed even puberty.

"Zuko" Terra said softly. "You'll be going for your initiation in a year or so"

"Yes" I said, raising my chin up and puffing my chest out.

"So you should be a man now" she grinned, smiling.

"Uh…"

"When you are older, you'll marry me right?"

"Uh…"I stuttered, watching as Azula pulled Mai back to the beach angrily.

Terra looked back at the two girls standing still in the cool waters; one with outrage spewed all over her face and the other one looking anxious and uneasy at the little atomic bomb she was left alone with.

She took my hand and placed it over her heart-over her hard perky breast-and squeezed my hand over her breast. I felt the heat in me-I had never felt anything like it before. I felt light-headed and too aware at the same time. I felt my trunks tighten and my hands get sweaty.

"Now you have to marry me" she whispered.

"We are leaving, now" Azula hissed, striding swiftly away from Mai and towards Terra and I in a red fury. Terra dropped my hand and it fell limply at my side.

"What is that, Zuko?" Azula asked, pointing at my trunks.

"Pull them down, Terra" she commanded, her eyes narrowed to slits. "Do it now, Terra and I will not punish you as badly as I had intended"

"No…" I protested but Terra was stronger than I was and older. I looked around anxiously and terrified.

"I ought to burn it off, _brother_" Azula hissed. "It's _disgusting"_

"I… I'm sorry" I mumbled, covering myself up.

"I'm telling father" she said softly, a loving smile on her lips. "I have to, Zuko… what you are doing is unacceptable, I am sure"

"Azula…." I cried. "I didn't…"  
>"You never know or learn. No one is on your side anymore!" she hissed viciously, her hands twitching and tensing at her sides. "And you…."<p>

Terra backed away.

"You think boobies are so important, but I have two flaming fists that disagree" she pushed the flames from her hands through the air in little balls and they landed by Terra's feet. She was careful not too burn her but she made sure she danced her way to the oncoming boat.

Terra never returned as Azula's appointed playmate. Father told me I was perverted like my Uncle and should fast for a month for my dishonouring activities and apologise to my sister for exposing myself to her. He would have it cut off if it ever showed itself again, he had laughed from his bath.

That had been my first sexual experience before I was exiled-on a boat full of men who hate me for taking them away from their women with my display of royal insufferable bratty-ness.

Xx~xx~xX

Sokka told me once how Suki kissed. This had been before the end battle and before I had met Suki officially. We had been walking through a village, my face covered by a large hat and cloak in the hot sun and he had been bored. We were sent to buy supplies by Katara while she and Toph went to look for food and Aang… I can't recall where he had been at the time.

"She does this thing…"he said softly, closing his eyes wistfully. "Oh, it feels so good, you know what I mean?"

I nodded and looked away. That had been the third 'you know what I mean' he had asked me after describing in his weird non-description way how she kissed and hugged and touched. I obviously didn't 'know what he meant but I was not about to let Sokka the Jokka know _that._ Toph was scarily adept at nicknames…

"This one time…"he whispered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Maybe I shouldn't tell you…"

"Yes, maybe you shouldn't " I muttered. "I see rope by that vendor there, we may need rope…"

"Okay, I'll tell you" he said, following me blindly and huffing overdramatically. "She slipped her hand in my pants…"

The old woman selling string and ropes paused her movements of packing the rope I had chosen and looked at us panicked and disgusted. I groaned, hitting my forehead with the heel of my hand at being stuck with Sokka and moving away from him futilely. He just shifted a foot closer to me and flung his arm over my shoulder-sealing any misunderstandings that I might not have known him-and breathed dramatically, raising a hand to the heavens as though I could 'see' the proclamation descending upon us of what a 'hand in the pants' signified.

"Take your rope and leave" the old woman rasped. "Freaky Fairies"

"Sokka… we are supposed to be inconspicuous when we are around people…" I sighed.

"…her skilled Kyoshi fingers…"he said tenderly and insisting on keeping his arm around me while I tried to fling it of.

"All I can say, Zuko" he finished, looking like he had been meditating and in the third level of tranquillity. "She knows how to handle a sword"

"I know that, Sokka" I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"What!" he shouted, the tranquillity leaving his face in a red mask of indignation. He punched me on my shoulder and I moved back, bemused.

"The Kyoshi warriors… are skilled with swords" I hissed. "What is wrong with you?"

"You filthy royals think you can just take anything…!"

"Uh, guys?" Aang asked, emerging from behind a tree with a bag full of fruit.

"I let myself trust you…!" Sokka hissed, pushing me again.

"Sokka…!" I manoeuvred out of his feeble frantic attacks. "I don't understand?"

"Guys?" Aang asked, dropping the bag and walking carefully towards us.

"Suki is mine!" Sokka shrieked, throwing harmless punches haphazardly at me.

"I don't want her!" I screamed, dodging him easily.

"So you are _done _with the Kyoshi warriors now, _Lord Zuko_?"  
>"What is going on?" Aang shouted, pushing us further apart with a gust of wind.<p>

Sokka was fuming opposite me, his dark skin tinged red and hands shaking at his side.

"He just attacked me" I said softly.

"He disrespected my woman and her friends!" Sokka shrieked, jumping up and down and pointing his finger at me.

"I haven't even met her or a single one of the Kyoshi warriors!"

"Uh..."Aang murmured, scratching his head. "Sokka… he hasn't me Suki. How can he…"  
>"He said it!" Sokka hissed. "He said he knew how the Kyoshi warriors are <em>skilled <em>with _swords_!"

"What are you guys fighting about_ now_…?"Katara asked, carrying bags of food and rolling her eyes at us.

"From what I heard" Toph said, snickering. "Zuko and Sokka both had their swords handled by Kyoshi warriors!"

"What does that even mean…?" Aang said, scratching his head again. "Did you battle with them and lose your swords…"

"I handle my own _sword_" I hissed. Sokka and Toph burst out laughing and Katara hurried to Appa.

"What, it has twin blades?" I asked, blushing. "It takes a lot of skill and practice to master twin blades"

"Okay…"Sokka huffed, wheezing and gripping his middle. "Either you were blessed with a spare or we were seriously lost in _innuendos!_"

"Twin blades…"Aang murmured, walking away from the laughing water tribe warrior, giggling blind earth bender and bemused fire bender. "I am usually good with riddles… what can he mean…"

"Just leave it, Princess Sparkles" Toph gasped, patting my back as we followed the group. "No harm done"

"He attacked me?"

"Forget it Sparkles, you've gone thus far without knowing it…"she giggled.

"Knowing what?" I tried not to let it bother me but I felt ashamed at not understanding and misunderstanding Sokka's story.

"You'll figure it out with your girl back home" Toph giggled.

"Have you figured 'it' out?" I asked her.

"Nah not worried about it. It's a guy thing…"she clapped me hard on the back, almost toppling me over and ran to the edge of the forest were Sokka, Katara and Aang were loading the provisions on Appa.

I had felt ashamed for that moment but when I had looked at them in the ambiance of the setting sun it had vanished-they never meant to hurt me even when I unintentionally showed them were I was most vulnerable.

Xx~xx~xX

Mai had come to my room late last night, when I had been exhausted from a long torturous meeting about Noble Fire Lord's loosing revenue over the new Peace and intense training with my personal trainer.

I had taken a bath quietly, remembering to put the lotion she had said I should always use and wearing the light silk pyjama's she had had to replace my favourite night gown. It had taken me five minutes to drift of as I recalled my many moments with the Avatar, Water Bender and Warrior. Moments to recall my favourite friend of the group-young Master Earth Bender Toph Bei Fong. Always able to help me find my place in their already established little rebellion family-I, Zuko the traitor.

"Zuko?"  
>"Hmm" I mumbled. "Can a Fire Lord not get any sleep…?"<p>

"If you are confusing me for some handmaiden" she hissed through the darkness.

"Mai?" I got up hastily and bumped my forehead with hers. "Are you… what is happening? Has there been a rebellion… the Nobles…?"

"What are you talking about?" she whispered.

"You are in my chamber…?"

"I have been in here before and never have you rambled about coups and Nobles" she sighed, her cool breath fanning my face. I realised she was sitting on me. Her legs on either side of my own.

"Why are you on my bed?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. I had had two hours of sleep the previous night with nightmares of Azula and now Mai…

"I am naked"

I stopped rubbing my eyes and grumbling about insomnia and meetings. My hand hovered motionless over my eyes and mouth agape.

"I said…"

"I heard you Mai" I breathed. "Why are you naked on my bed?"

"Why do you think?" she said, a hint of anger in her tone. "I am generally curious to your thoughts, Zuko"  
>"You…"I stammered. "But we are not married yet"<p>

"Hmm" she murmured, heaving and sighing over me. "I'll still be a virgin… my mother instructed me…"

"Your mother _what"_ I hissed, looking around in the darkness for Mai's mother. This had to be a weird nightmare…

"Okay" she grumbled. "This is… embarrassing. You have embarrassed me"

"I never asked you to get naked in my bed!"

"That may be the problem, Zuko!" she hissed, getting of off me and fumbling with my bed covers beside me. "Move over…"

"No, get some clothes on!" I hissed, trying to keep her from entering the blankets. "We should do things proper…"

"Shut up and move over" she snapped and I moved without anymore thought. "Light the lamps please"

"Are you covered?" I whispered.

"Yes" she sighed.

I bent flickers of flame to the side lamps and sat still as the flames raised and cast light around us. I carefully peeked at her from the corner of my eyes and she was _not _covered from her torso up.

"Mai…"

"Oh, shut up" she hissed. "I look at you naked and it turns me on, look at me!"

Her long black hair is free and spilling over her shoulders and thankfully hiding her small breasts. We are still holy…

"You can touch…"she says softly.

"I…"

"Give me your hand" she urges. I give it to her and she does what I fear. She pushes her hair away from her small breasts and I see them pale riddled with goose-bumps in the orange light. My hand covers it from sight and I feel her pinkish nipple erect. I feel my own erection simultaneously.

"You are not Gay" she lets out a breath and smiles at me.

"You… thought…?" I stammer, searching wildly for a cushion with my free hand.

"You are so…" she closes her eyes and applies pressure to my hand and causing me to knead her breast. I can feel the blood pooling down, hardening me there… she is going to see… I get hold of a cushion and place it over my lap. "Warm"

"Warm?" I ask her, trying not to think about how impossibly tight my pyjama bottoms have gotten or the reason my already strange low voice is too raw.

"Mhmm" she murmurs, her eyes closed. She releases my hand but it remains on her breast. Her own hand goes under the covers, towards my lap were I am hiding it under the cushion…

"Mai no" I groan but don't stop her when her hand brushes against the top of my pyjama's beneath the cushion. "Ah… Mai…"

"Mai!" I moan, my head weighing ten tons and falling back hard on the head board as my blood rushes down and the electricity charges my nerves up. _She slipped her hands in my pants…_

"Mai… ngh" she rubs me gently and I tighten and lengthen…

"_We weep for the spawn you will spurt out…"_

"Mai…" too sensitive…

"_You exposed yourself to your sister…"_

"Mai no… please…" so good… I've never….

"_I ought to burn it off… disgusting…"_

"Oh heavens, _Maiiii…._" It's wrong… we are… oh, _lord…_

"_If it ever shows itself I'll have is cut off" _Fire Lord Ozai will cut it off.

"No!" I push Mai's hand away and feel my chi rise and the candle flames form long licking tongues. I scramble of the giant bed and out of the chamber, pulling my pants up and trying to move through the shadows so no one can see. I see the pool and dive into its cold stillness, fully clothed and swim to the end. When I get out and feel the balance return, I leave the water a boiling disturbance of heat and confusion.

"_You'll figure it out with your girl back home"_

Something is not right within me.


	6. Zuko the Guarded, Ozai's Son part 2

**Fire Lord Ozai's Son pt 2: Zuko the Guarded**

"Hello, little sister"

"Have you come…."she grates, tugging at the chains that restrict her from moving. "For the Fire Lord?"  
>"You are not the Fire Lord" I tell her delicately.<p>

"Father made _me" _she cries softly. "He chose _me_!"

Her hair is a dishevelled mess of ebony thick vines that hides her face but I can still see that her skin has become pasty and sallow from lack of sunlight.

"I am the Fire Lord" she moans, shaking her head a little. Her hands are encased in mineral handcuffs that have a steady coarse elemental chain connected to them, leading behind her to the wall. She is kneeling in the middle of the desolate chamber, chained and shackled with specialised iron links that confine her to the core of her prison. The floor around her little perimeter is smothered and dusted with blackened cement from her haywire prodigious gift. My little sister…

Her face has been hidden from view with all the shadows, her own previously glorified hair and darkness. I haven't seen her clearly since the fight.

"Azula…" I whisper, moving closer to her, trying to find a position that curves some light to her face. It's too dark and cold in here.

"You chose the water bender" she coughs. "Over me"

"She loved you so much more…" she moans, twisting her body in despair. "Her little Zuko. Her little _nothing_"

"Well, he loved _you_ only" I say softly, looking away from her. I shall have her removed from this place. It's not fitting for a Princess. It is not where my sister should be put. They would have her rot; they would have her hidden… a disgrace to the Fire Nation they said. Suddenly conscious of the inhumanities that were dealt out when it came to my sister but not their fellow Noblemen…

At first I think she is choking or having a fit and I take two large instinctive steps forward towards her but then I hear the unmistakeable sound of her deranged cackling at the end. Her thin frame is shaking in manic glee and on her face-a face hidden behind a crown of unkept hair and shadows-I see the gleaming amber eyes.

"Fire Lord Zuko" I see the distinct glint of teeth from her demented grin "The _great _Fire Lord _Zuko… motherless, fatherless and sisterless"_

"It's lonely, isn't it" she sings in her husky tone "I bet that spineless emaciated _girl _sits by your side but you still feel alone and more importantly _exposed_"

"Watch your back Zuko, sometimes Father isn't the only one looking to _discipline _you"

"Are we ever going to talk about it?"

"No Mai" I say softly, sipping the tea slowly and keeping my eyes on the controversial long parchment in my hand. "If you value this peace you will drop it"  
>"Can I touch you again, Zuko" she asks innocently, raising her own cup of tea to her lips slowly, her eyes sharp and studying. "You felt… so long. It felt…"<p>

"I'll announce our engagement in the month" I cut her, looking at her imploringly over the list of human rights abusers during the war. "You can tell your mother, I'll get you our bonding ring and everything"

"You are so romantic, Zuko" she sighs but she is smiling finally. "Announce it during the anniversary of the Phoenix King's fall"  
>"But isn't that celebration more for the Avatar…?"<p>

"Then it will be the perfect time" she croons, rising from her chair fluidly and walking over to mine. She lies in my arms and peers at the list of names scrawled on it.

"That's Terra's father's name" she says softly.

"It's nothing, Mai" I sigh, folding the paper carefully and putting it on the table.

"Terra is a friend"

"Let's not worry so much, Mai" I say softly, trying to banish the uneasy looks I got when the security general announced that an inquest would be happening inside the army as well as honourable positions of power.

I think we are still young. I think that we never really got a chance to grow up or we grew up too quickly. I am nineteen and I have never played a game of hide and seek. I have however, mastered the art of fencing and bending by a young age and at eighteen I was considered a Master Fire Bender. I still think I may trade one of those titles for an hour in my youth to play... It is nothing like Toph's Grand Master tile-that I am trying not to be envious of (a side effect of Azula beating me at everything has made me exceptionally competitive). I received the letter from Aang, who is heading to the Southern Water Tribe to visit Katara and Sokka before they endure the long journey to my kingdom.

He says she is Grand Master and he suspects she failed her Finishing school so she will not be making it to the first anniversary of my Father's fall and Sister's mental demise. That is all I can think of it being when anyone utters the words "The Fall of the Phoenix King Anniversary". I am not regretful but sad at what happened that day. I am sad because of a number of factors; my father's tyranny and sisters obsessive strive for power. I am sad because Sokka and Katara have their father-Chief Hakoda-looking upon them with unadulterated pride at what they have achieved but my own father… the worst father…. I have Uncle-how grateful I am-but if my mother could be found. If I could have her tell me that I truly did the right thing…. It will make my honour all the more real.

"Do you ever stop with the over thinking" Uncle murmurs from beside me. "It is a celebration Zuko, not a funeral. You have to get your spirits up"

"My spirit's are up"  
>"Then your happy face truly <em>sucks<em>" he sighs, placing a wrinkled hand over my own on the railing of the balcony.

"Sucks?" I ask, looking at him with humorous wonder.

"A side effect of hanging around the Grand Master too much"

"It must be nice having Bumi…"  
>"I meant Toph." He looks intensely out to the sea, his lips pinched and eyes narrowed. He wants to laugh.<p>

"Toph?"

"Hmm… she has gotten addicted to my special Tea" he says softly, a smile tugging at his lips. "She comes in over the course of the week without fail, after her lessons and attempts to mimic what she has been taught by those_ beautiful_ women at her Finishing school"

"How is that going?"

"Terribly" he chuckles. "Although we have managed to refine the slurping of the tea to distinctive gentle 'gulps'. The gait is still off-she moves like an ostrich-horse with constipation even with her now feminine figure"

"Feminine…?"

"Hmm, she is very much like her beautiful mother-the one you were ogling at the dinner in Gaoling?"

"I was not-" I hiss but I stop my protest when he under comes a seizure of laughs.

"I think she is a lot more beautiful though" he sighs. "She is like a lotus flower-she comes out of the mud clean and perfect"

"You sound like you are in love with her, Uncle" I huff.

"No, I am proud of her" he sighs. "As I am of you"  
>My previous doubts and fears diminish somewhat when he looks at me, his eyes full of some of what Hakoda has especially reserved for Sokka.<p>

"She failed her lessons?" I ask him again, my voice shaking a little with the warm feeling filling me at knowing he has _always _been on my side.

"More like she never really got the hang of it" he snickers. "She does not see the use and I suspect when her mother finally tells her of her marriage arrangement…"  
>"What!"<p>

"Ah, not really marriage arrangement but more along the lines of _intention _to _get _married" Uncle clarifies, waving a hand in the air. "Lady Bei Fong is worried Grand Master Toph will _not _be married and cast a shadow of _question _on their good family name. I think her mother is not too impressed with the title of Grand Master…"

"Toph is just a kid" I say sharply. "She can't just be married off… her mother still doesn't understand that Toph is capable of caring for herself. I feel sorry for the man they wish to pair her with…"

"Mother's Zuko…" Uncle sighs. "Get a bit crazy when it comes to marriages"  
>"I wouldn't know" I say softly.<p>

"Ozai has not…?" he murmurs.

"No" I moan. "Azula is… worsening. She keeps thinking I am Ozai at times, or that she is the Fire Lord… muttering to herself"

"Katara has agreed to stay after the celebrations to help… Aang too" I finish, walking away from the scenery of the orange coloured sea beneath the setting sun. "Aang… to help move her, I don't want her in that cold dark cell"

"I understand Zuko" he whispers, remaining on the balcony. "You can never stop loving a sibling or father even when they stab you in the heart"

Of course he would understand; how could I allow myself to think I was truly alone. Had he not had an ambitious younger sibling and power hungry father too?

"I bet they look at you with suspicion" she whispers, tugging at her chains. "They looked at me that way too, Zuko"  
>"They wanted to overthrow my position, but I knew" she sighs. "I had them <em>all <em>removed"

"And now you are alone" I finish for her.

"I am not alone" she says softly. "I have father…"

"Do you now"

"Yes!" she shouts. "You have _nothing_. That 'Boy Avatar'? Father will burn his blue arrows off"

"Father is locked up like you" I tell her softly. "And has no fire bending in him"

"Lies"

"I want to help you"

"Lies, you are so full of lies" she murmurs. "Maybe now, father will be proud, eh?"

"So the Avatar group should be arriving shortly" Uncle says, buttering his maize-wheat bread. "The flying bison is going to crash into the side of your head"

"That's good" I murmur, trying to swallow the piece of fruit in my mouth. I feel like he can see… his crinkled eyes gazing at me can see everything…

"I thought so" he says, biting into his bread. "You are not listening to me, Zuko."

"What?"

"You are ten thousand miles away" he complains. "Grand Master Toph is a much better…"  
>"Would you quit comparing me to her" I snap.<p>

"You actually have a better gait than her" he snickers. "More swing"

"Whatever, Old Man" I grumble. He insisted on having breakfast with me but for the past fifteen minutes he has been telling me how he misses the Earth Kingdom and his favourite 'Grand Master' and staring at me…

"So why are _you _glowing, what were you up to last night, hmm" he asks, gazing at the garden.

"Who said…? I am not glowing. I did nothing. There was nothing done last night besides sleeping and dreaming" I stammer angrily, spilling the milk all over my toast.

"Better than Honeyed-Strawberries dipped in sweetened cream" he says, smiling at himself and sipping his tea.

"Clean this mess up!" I shout at the snickering handmaiden, who jumps forward in fright.

"Announcing your engagement on the Anniversary of your Father's fall" Uncle says softly. "Might be good or bad"

"Why?" I snap, even though I am glad he has voiced it out.

"There are too many quiet corners in the Fire Nation capital. Too many frowning Nobles and down cast gazes" he whispers to the garden. "I think you should strengthen your ties with the other nations"

"I do have strong ties…"  
>"Visit more… send out machinery, acquaint your self with the nobles of other nation" he interjects seriously. "Instead of locking yourself in your office and burning tables"<p>

"Azula and Ozai…" he sighs. "You cannot protect them from themselves or your foes if you are turning a blind eye to the…"

"I am not turning a blind eye" I hiss. "What do you wish I do, act like a paranoid Fire Lord?"

"I wish you would be more vocal" he sighs. "That is all. Send me more letters and Aang too… Stop having Katara complaining that you reply too late and leave out answers to her key questions. Stop locking us out"

"I am not weak"

"No one said you were, son" he says. "Letting your fears be known does not make you vulnerable, it gives you a chance to overcome them"

"You are too wise" I complain.

"You are too careful" he counters, smiling. "So… what did you "dream" about?"

"The Avatar will be arriving tomorrow" I tell Mai, prodding the hake experimentally. "With Katara, Sokka, Suki and Ty Lee"

"Oh, I've missed Ty Lee so much" she sighs, wistfully. "I'll prepare her room"

"And the Avatar and the rest of our guests" I clarify.

"How is the fish?" she asks, taking a bite of the orange-potatoes and ignoring my clarification.

"Mai…"  
>"Of course they will have beds to sleep in" she says.<p>

"Mai…"

"I am teasing Zuko" she says, smiling. "Do you want me to come later on in the evening… after your bath or before?"

"Uh…" I mumble, busying myself with my apple-wine.

"Hesitation is not a good quality in a Fire Lord" Uncle says, startling me. He had been unfamiliarly quiet… Watching and chewing.

"You can come… before and… uh, stay the night" I mumble, returning my attention to my dinner.

"Is the water warm?" she asks, sitting on the floor at the edge of the sunken bath and dipping two fingers into the water. Two pale long fingers that had been very soft the previous night…

"Its fine" I reply her, lowering myself into the murky perfumed waters until my head is the only part of me that is dry.

"It's too warm, I like my bath hot" she sighs. "Heat it up please"

"It's _my _bath…"

She shrugs her robe of and starts unwrapping her undergarments, watching me with satisfaction as I fail to remove my eyes from her.

"Mai…"

"You say my name an awful lot Zuko" she draws, rolling her eyes. "It's irritating"

Her lean pale body stands before me for a second, black robes and red silk undergarments pooled at her feat and then she steps slowly into the water.

"Heat the water up, Zuko" she sighs. "Really… you need to drop the gentleman act, sometimes"

"Act?"

"The water Zuko!" she snaps.

I heat it up quickly, watching her as she places her hands carefully on top of the water, her eyes on me. She takes a few more steps forward until she has reached a depth that submerges her breasts. She is still far away from me.

"That's better" she murmurs, closing her eyes. "Zuko…?"  
>"Yes, Mai"<p>

"Why do you not like to touch me?" she asks, her eyes still closed.

"I touch you…" I say softly, looking away uncomfortably. Women pull out the weirdest topics at the most inappropriate times. This had to be her meddling mother's idea…

"Are you in love with Katara?" she asks. "Do you wish I wasn't so pale?"

"What!"

"Shouldn't you be with Mai…?"  
>"No smart comments, Uncle" I sigh, dropping into the garden chair. The night is cool and clear and Mai is fuming in my bed.<p>

"You said something stupid, didn't you?"

"Stay out of it, Old Man" I grumble, staring at the starry sky.

"To get to the Honeyed-Strawberries, you have to tame the butterfly-bees"

"She asked me if I was in love with Katara" I heave a hard breath and signal for the Royal servant to fan me.

"You should have asked her to marry you immediately" he says smiling. "Do you want some tea?"

"I'm sorry I have not been more hospitable, Uncle"

"You are a busy man" he chuckles. "And I should have come later"

"No, I like… I like that you are here" I close my eyes and try not to laugh again at Mai's absurd accusations. First I was Gay and now I liked Katara the nagging… I can only imagine what her imagination comes up with next under that stoic look…

"It's nice to see you have loosened up" he says, pouring me a cup of tea. "But if you hadn't said something stupid in return you might be flying over the pleasure clouds like the Avatar's Bison right now… enjoying a woman's sweet desserts…"  
>"I didn't <em>say <em>anything!"

"Well, you did _something"_ he says, looking at me intensely. "You will be lucky to get a dollop of cream, at this rate… "

"Zuko!" Sokka rushes over to me, dropping his luggage and embracing me. I can never get used to how 'touchy' the water tribe people are.

"Zuko" Katara says, her eyes narrowed and lips pursed. "Thanks for not replying my message. I asked you to visit with Aang…"  
>"Katara, I have a lot to do here…" I sigh.<p>

"That does not…"  
>"Katara" Aang sighs. "Let's enjoy the few days we have together before the celebrations"<p>

She pouts and folds her arms over her chest and sends Aang a cold look.

"It seems you won't be the only one going without 'Dessert'" Uncle murmurs, walking over to greet Suki and Ty Lee.

"She has been at edge" Aang says softly, walking with me of the port. "The Northern Water Tribes irk her with their… not so woman friendly ideals"  
>"I can imagine" I sigh.<p>

"Avatar" Mai says softly, curtsying a little.

"Mai!" Aang exclaims rushing over to Mai and giving her a hug. She looks at me confused and I shrug. "You look the same!"

"I do?" she asks

"Well, Zuko has gotten incredibly tall" Sokka says, his brow furrowing.

"I'm not so tall…"

"You are the tallest here, Zuko" Katara says and Mai throws me a hard look. "But Mai is also pretty tall so you compliment each other"  
>"Yes" I sigh. "Let's head inside…"<p>

"For lunch!"Uncle finishes.

"Hakoda, you say, will be arriving the day before the celebrations?" Uncle asks, serving the frog-duck pieces.

"Most of the guests arrive the day before, Uncle" Mai murmurs from beside me, before placing her hand over mine and throwing Katara a warning look.

"The Bei Fongs too?" he asks. "I so like my conversations with Lady Bei Fong"

"Would that be Toph" Suki asks.

"No, darling" Sokka murmurs to her. "Toph is known as Grand Master Toph…"

"Until she finishes Finishing school then it will be 'Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong" blurts Uncle, who immediately raises a hand to cover his mouth.

"That could take a lifetime!"Aang chuckles. "Right, Zuko… Little sister Toph finishing Finishing school?"

"Uh…"

"Hmm, she is in Finishing School?" Katara asks Aang. "She never said anything about that when I asked her to update me on her life…"  
>"You really think Toph would let that one slip" Sokka laughs. "Oh, man… I am so going to tease her when she arrives… How did you guys find out! Toph…finishing school…"<br>"She won't be joining us this first Anniversary" I say softly. "She has to redo classes, right Uncle?" 

"Yes" Uncle says. "Anyone for seconds? Oh, and no mention of where you all heard the 'Finishing School' news from…"

"How is Azula?" Katara asks, folding her arms and tucking her blowing hair behind an ear. She followed me out of the games room when I had thought I had been stealthy about my exit; ever perceptive of the emotions of others…

They can be a bit too much, laughing and chatting. It can be very overwhelming; especially if you have gotten used to being alone as I have.

"She…" I sigh, breaking a twig from the manicured bush. "The same, her uncontrolled fires are under control I suppose. Her hands have been positioned away from her body so… she just burns the floor"

"I spoke to a sage at the ancient temple in the Northern Water Tribe…" Katara says softly taking the twig from me. "About blood bending"  
>"We can… try something but I need the sages here" she finishes, looking at me closely.<p>

"Yes, of course… whatever you need"

"How dare you Zuko…." Azula hisses, her thin frame shaking and little wisps of flames escaping her fingers and further scorching the dry cement floor.

"We are here to help" Aang says softly, moving forward. I pull his robe in warning-impulsively-an outbreak of emotions raging through me. One of which is an extreme sense of protectiveness of my sister…

"Zuko wants to move you to a better place, Azula" Katara murmurs, her hand still raised over her chest-where her heart is.

"A better place?" she cackles, her head shaking furiously in possessed amusement. I can see them from the corner of my eye, watching her, their eyes wide and shocked-Azula the broken kneels before them. Dangerous and vulnerable.

"Drug her" I hiss. "She won't…"

"Zuko" Aang sighs. "That has to be a last resort"

"No, that has to be the first resort!" I yell, tugging him back violently. "She won't move… she is not _well. _I want it done quietly, only you and Katara are to know of her movement!"

"What is going on Zuko?" Katara asks, looking at me with panicked large cobalt eyes. Her eyes dart from my face to my fist-still clenching a fist full of Aang's robe...

"There…" I exhale, releasing Aang and avoiding his worried gaze. I try to cal my breathing and return my equilibrium beneath the Avatar's all seeing grey eyes-smoothing his robes and patting him on the back.

"Well move her your way then" Aang whispers, eyes still intent on my face. "She is your sister…"

"A five star cell?" Azula says innocently. "You have always been _so _considerate brother"

"The Bei Fongs have arrived" the messenger murmurs. "They have been shown to their rooms"

"Thank you" Mai murmurs, dismissing him. "Why are you staring at me, so?"

"You said thank you to the royal servant" I smile at her.

"Alert the royal court" she says dryly, leaning back on the chaise. "Katara has done her hair differently since I last saw her"

"Yes, she has" I sigh. "It's a lot more…"

"So you were looking at her then?" Mai murmurs, a dangerous edge to her voice.

"Of course I was…"  
>"You are unbelievable, Zuko" she hisses, rising fluidly from the chaise and exiting the bed chamber.<p> 

"He said something else" Uncle murmurs, nudging Sokka as I walk in. "He is always _saying _something"  
>"I said <em>nothing<em>" I hiss, watching their stupid game of tiger-chess. Sokka was staring hard at the board, brow furrowed and eyed narrowed. Uncle looked like he was at a day spa… hand reaching out for various berries in a bowl beside him and sprawled on the couch.

"What happened?" Aang asks, looking up at me.

"Mai…" I sigh. "She…. Doesn't like Katara's hair… I think, so she got mad at me for…."

"You are not making sense, _Fire Lord Zuko_" Sokka hisses, without looking at me and moving a piece on the board. "Tell me he isn't like _that_ in meetings? That would explain a lot…"  
>"Strangely, not" Uncle says thoughtfully, nibbling on his scone. "Very ruthless in fact, like his…"<p>

The games room goes quiet as Uncle leaves his statement hanging, his scone floating unsure over his mouth…

"Like my father" I finish.

"In a good way" Aang adds, smiling at me.

"Yes" Uncle says softly, moving his piece. "You know when it is necessary-a very keen eye… Check"

"Dammit!" Sokka shouts, punching the air. "Anyway, what _didn't_ you say to your girl…?"

"His Fiancé" Uncle blurts, then quickly puts a hand to cover his loud mouth.

"Engaged?" Sokka asks eyes wide. "You…?"

"Why is that hard to believe" I snap. "Not as officially, I want to announce it at a later date…"

"A more suitable date" Uncle adds.

"Wow" Aang murmurs softly, stroking Momo thoughtfully. "You are really grown up"

"We all are" Sokka clarifies, his eyes raking over the wooden pieces ruthlessly.

"What was that about my girlfriend's hair?" Aang asks.

"Stop reminding me!" hisses Sokka, moving a piece and smiling to him self.

"Mai…" do I really want to talk about her to them?

"Mai…?" Sokka says impatiently, looking up at me and I feel like an idiot under his younger more knowledged gaze…

"She… Katara's hair…and then she stormed out"  
>"He says…" Uncle sighs. "She asked him if Master Katara's hair was nice and he agreed to it"<p>

Aang and Sokka exchange baffled looks before bursting out in to laughter. Sokka rising of his stool ad going over to Aang for a theatrical high five and Aang gripping his midriff in pained laughter. I knew it in the back of my mind; in the uneasy knot in my stomach that mentioning Mai in this room would result in this…

"You did not!" Aang shouts, eyes wide and brimming with hilarious tears.

"He also laughed when Mai asked him if he likes Katara" Uncle adds, a serious look on his face as though he was confessing to some insane activities I had been up to that might involve a pole and a mole-rabbit…

It takes ten minutes for Aang and Sokka to stop laughing. Ten minutes that take me back to the day Sokka attacked me about my twin blades…

"What is wrong with you man?" Sokka gasps.

"I was a monk and even I know that's a no-no" Aang rasps, falling back on the lush rug in little fits of laughter.

"What do you mean 'was'" Sokka accuses, wiping his tears violently from his face and rounding up on Aang.

"Am…." Aang stammers. "I meant I 'am'"

"You better be" Sokka whispers. "Or I'll knock you back to your first incarnation"

"So…" Aang says, a hard smile plastered on his face. "She stormed out?"

"Yes" I sigh.

"It seems…" Uncle murmurs thoughtfully. "Warrior Sokka is the only one getting dessert tonight"

"It was always going to be just_ me_" Sokka says, his eyes on Aang and a devilish grin on his lips.

"But you have also lost this game for the eighth time" Uncle chuckles, moving his piece one last time and leaning back onto his couch-a satisfied grin on his round face.

"No one saw you leaving..." I ask Aang again. He rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Zuko, I am an air bender…" he raises his hands in frustration. "Stealth is what we are about…"

"Oh there you are" Katara hisses, moving along the walls towards us. "Are we doing this tonight?"

I had specifically told Aang that we were to move Azula together-him and I-so she would be calmer and less of a hassle. She tended to get worked up about Katara so we would exclude Katara from the moving. Azula is mildly sedated-I had told the stealthy air bender-she would be lucid but lethargic. We move her and return quietly to our chambers…

"Stealthy, huh?" I ask him, raising my good eyebrow.

We move quickly through the corridors before I lead them through a secret royal passage that bypasses sixteen guards and gates. They keep murmuring things and asking questions… if I had moved Ozai yet… if Mai had come to m bed chamber in the evening…

"You used mild sedation…?" Katara confirms and I nod to her. What part of no sounds…?

"Very noble and brotherly" Aang whispers to her-his tone full of pride and awe.

"Can you keep quiet" I sigh, signalling for the guard to Azula's chamber to come over to us.

"I wish to see my sister…" I tell him. "Avatar business… you are to keep this quiet and stand guard at the far corner." He nods once and eyes Aang curiously before retreating.

"Quiet and Stealth" I breathe. "Please…"  
><p>

**AUTHORS NOTE: okay, this is a three part thing. I am a sucker for detail and cute conversations… I apologise for that. Next part is action packed…awkward moments too (for everyone! Zuko gets a break…).**

**Third part is titled Zuko the Burning and I will work on it now. I am an eighth done, lol. I feel Mai may be out of character a bit, but I thought she would be greatly influenced by her mother if she is with the Fire Lord… pressure and all.**

**Although Aang is younger than Zuko, I think he looks at him in a sort of little brother way… I have no idea how to elaborate-sorry. He is very protective of him-remnants of Katara hating his guts and his good side being put in question constantly!**

**I have an Aunt who always blabbers and embarrasses me on a constant basis but I just love her (she once asked what size bra I wear (I had been fourteen)-while we were having Christmas Eve dinner with the family.) We all have one of those people…**

**Rating for the story will change to M. uh, yeah… not elaborating on that too much for cherry-surprises but I am sure you can guess why… so if you are a youngling… I do apologise.**

**Story News- uh, I have posted for 'The Nephesh Healer'. Started a Vampire Diaries fic because I am scatter brained like that… dang, this artist mind. **


	7. Zuko the Burning, Ozai's Son part 3

**FIRE LORD OZAI'S SON-ZUKO THE BURNING**

Sometimes it's hard to connect to the world.

Who am I kidding; it is always hard for me to connect to the world. As a child I had lived in Ozai's world. The world he had structured for me-for Azula-without knowing or caring for it. His absence and presence were greatly similar to us. If he was not there we moved slightly faster with our heads turned and eyes keen for his shadow lest he appeared. If he was there we moved slower with our eyes keen for a glance from him that we were visible under his cold hard gaze.

Azula had been sweet once; a young child with an innocence that was kissed o her forehead by Agni's chosen beauties. It had lasted-for me-until I had snuck into her crib room to examine this new addition to my life more closely.

There she had lain, still and quiet in her cream and cherry red romper. There she had lain beautiful and perfect. She smiled a little-a little quirk of her plump lips and I had been hit by an unfamiliar _powerful_ love for the little chubby baby in the crib. My little sister…

She cooed, orange eyes wide and gleaming-I should have suspected that no child lay so still with such _knowing _eyes. I had only been about two…

I tickled her chin and she gigged, revealing four teeth paired opposite of each other in her lower and upper gums. How did she manage to look perfect when she had four teeth! She cooed and giggled and I joined her in childish wonder… until my finger drifted to close to her mouth and she snapped those jaws hidden behind the round cheeks shut.

I didn't go into her crib alone after that.

Xxxnxxxx

Sokka is right; I have grown taller. I am taller and a lot more hairy. I am not sure what that signifies in itself but staring at my face-a face I have not looked at for more that fifteen seconds at a time since I got my little 'scratch'-I look very _unforgiving_. My hair is too long when I release it from its knot, my eyebrow, the one on my good eye, is shaggier. The burn on my eye seems smaller (my face has different planes to it now) and lighter-a result of Mai's cream I am sure. My face seems darker and worn and the thick stubble…

I have aged.

It should fill me with joy as it does most young men-for that is what I am now that I am nearing the end of youth. I am to be engaged, I am to bring about a peace to the world that had been almost lost and I have redeemed my family.

Why am I not full of joy?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you not going to shave?" Mai asks, handing me the royal news report. The seal is broken…

"Uncle does not shave so much" I sigh. "Just a trim later on…"  
>"Your hair is too long, let me tie it…" she reaches up to my head, long fingers expectant but I move away.<p>

"Leave it…" I say to her, placing the parchment on my side table.

"The Bei Fongs were supposed to arrive today" she whispers, her hands in her lap unsurely. "Your guests don't respect invitational courtesies…"

"It will give my Uncle some adults to talk to"

"We are adults Zuko" she says softly "When are we going to leave the childish games behind?"

_When he stops feeling like you are up to something_ Azula whispers in my mind.

"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I have instructed the cook to make all her favourites…" Uncle murmurs, hobbling beside me as I charge through the garden, my sword secured on my hip. I have to meet Sokka for a sparring session… this is not the warm up talk I would have wanted…

"Yes Uncle" I sigh. "If you are not careful, Nobleman Bei Fong will think you are trying to steal his wife"

"Your humour has improved exponentially" he chuckles, slowing down "but no. I have to go… your cook's competence is in question"

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"You seem stressed" Sokka breathes, his brown skin glistening with sweat. "What am I saying, you are always stressed!"

"I…" I sigh but the words fail me. How do you voice out something that has no words or letters to it. It's just a feeling, a sensation that has wormed its way through my skin, pierced my flesh and crawled into my heart in a cold barbed embrace.

"Could I challenge the Great Fire Lord to a duel?" a soft husky voice murmurs behind me. I look up to Sokka, his eyes are large and round and mouth hanging lose.

"Toph?" he whispers.

I watch him; my head refusing to turn around to the girl behind me, to acknowledge her presence… Toph is still in Gaoling, redoing her classes. The presence I feel behind me-the being Sokka is gaping at-is an apparition as a result of my own inner turmoil. My own need for someone to understand me without me having to utter any descriptions-for Toph. I have missed her entirely, without reason or understanding- her uncanny ability to know what to say and how to say it so I feel like everything will be fine.

The heat crawling up my neck from a gaze that sees nothing is all a mirage of the highest quality.

"No way" Sokka says softly, his eyes travelling in a slow top to bottom motion. Raking the motionless Toph behind me.

"Sparky" she sighs, an odd hilt to her voice-as though she wants to laugh. "Can you restart your heart, please? You are way too young to be having a heart attack"  
>"You are meant to be in Gaoling" I hiss, my eyes still glued to Sokka's unbelieving face.<p>

"You have hips!" Sokka shouts, a finger pointing out to her accusingly.

"Where, where!" she giggles and I can feel the air move from behind me. I imagine she is humouring Sokka and looking for the 'hips' in question.

"And boobies" Sokka sighs in wonder. "The hell is going on here!"

"Seriously, this welcoming committee sucks" Toph sighs. I turn around slowly, lowering my sword-my hand aches from the statue pose I had developed since she let her presence be known.

It isn't Toph standing before me; head tilted to one side and hair a black liquid curtain on either side of a creamy face. It isn't Toph with impossibly thick eyelashes, a small nose placed deliberately in the centre of her face and pale cherry blossom lips matted and full. It isn't Toph and yet it is…

Pale jade eyes large and unseeing look up without focus or acknowledgment. Toph-my little sister is in there somewhere. Behind the prominent jaw is the round face from my turbulent youth with her. Behind the thick black hair with the middle parting is the bushy pinned up hair from our time together?

But I do not see any of the young rebellious Toph of my pre-Fire Lord days in the structure she is encased in. Agni must have a good sense of humour-giving the tom girl a form that leaves men sighing and breathless.

Statuesque, curved and dune filled. Soft and hard at the same time. Obnoxious and shy. Pure and sinful… How does her body…

"You are staring Sparky" she says softly.

"Yeah…" Sokka murmurs, walking over to me in a daze. "Staring"

"You two are idiots" she hisses, her anger-an anger that is recognisable from her small noses crinkling-that is devastatingly beautiful.

She huffs and wheels around and walks away from a hypnotized Sokka and I.

"She should not be allowed to turn around…" I whisper, staring at the spot she had stood moments ago.

"Yeah…" Sokka murmurs. "That there is a weapon of mass destruction. She should only be allowed to walk backwards…"

Xx~xx~xX

Breakfast has been an essential part of my day since Uncle arrived. Breakfast and Dinner; he tried to get me at lunch as well but I had refused. I had to keep a watch out on things, I had to be aware of all movement and more importantly let the rest of the fire nation know I was aware.

"You decided to tie your hair up" Mai says, a soft smile on her lips.

"You didn't tell me Toph had come with the Bei Fongs" I say, angling my head away from her so I can tie the knot on my own.

"You didn't ask…"she draws out, releasing a gust or air through her nose. "When will you announce…"

"Not on the Avatar's celebration" I hiss, rising lithely from the dressing table stool.

"Hmmm" she murmurs, brushing her own hair. "Whatever you want, Fire Lord"

Xx~xx~xX

"The Celebrations will commence after the speech" the undertaking manager murmurs to me. "I will need a copy of your speech, sire…"  
>"Uncle, why did you not tell me Toph would arrive with the Bei Fongs?" I ask, my eyes closed and ears keen for his reply. He sits by the window, lounged on the couch in my office and sipping tea delicately for a man of his size and stature.<p>

"I didn't know…"

"She is your favourite grand master…" I sigh wearily.

"We are pressed for time, your Highness… if we could just finish…" the undertaking manager stammers, the parchment in his hand quivering in his shaking hold.

"Leave" I say softly.

"I…" he murmurs unsure, looking to Iroh. "The Speech…"  
>"The avatar will be giving the speech, Goodman…"Uncle says kindly "I will get his Royal Bully to scribble something of value and send it to you"<p>

"Sir…" and with that he leaves in undeniable relief.

"She does what she wants" Uncle sighs. "Why is it you are making me feel like I have committed a crime in her arriving?"  
>"Nothing" I say petulantly, glaring at the little statue on my desk of a bronze twirling dragon.<p>

"You should talk about forgiveness in your speech. Forgiveness and friendship"

"Will do" I sigh.

"I am here as always…. To assist" he says, smiling. "But hurry it along; breakfast is in ten minutes…"

Xx~xx~xX

"So how was Finishing school?" Katara asks a small smile on her face. The breakfast table is exceptionally quiet. We are outside, on the large patio facing the eastern garden with its many exotic flowers and the breathtaking view of the still rising sun above the calm sea but all I want to do is stare at the being seated between her two parents…

"Glad Finishing school is over" Toph says seriously and Uncle laughs, a snorting involuntary sound.

"…Because its 'finishing' school" Sokka chuckles softly, nudging me in the ribs with his elbow. "Did she always have a sense of humour like that or did it come along with her gorgeousness?"

"You are with someone" I whisper to him.

He ignores me and serves himself a second helping of muesli.

"She is a formidable beauty" Bumi murmurs, his eyes twinkling as they look up to Uncle, who grins widely.

"You were beaten a fourth time, I take it?" Iroh asks his friend, who chuckles heartily in response.

"Your hair is shinier…"Katara whispers, hand covering her mouth in disbelief. "You bathe regularly, don't you…?"

"They have really good make up artists there" Ty Lee murmurs, her eyes wide and in awe of Toph's face.

"That's all her natural skin…" Lady Bei Fong says, her voice dripping with a haughty sort of pride. "A combination of my genes and apparently all that playing in the mud did something good"  
>"It is not 'playing in the mud'…."Toph sighs and I get the sense this is something they continuously discuss. "Its <em>earth bending<em>…"  
>"Grand Master Lady Bei Fong" Aang whispers, his voice full of astonishment. "That there is something history is going to <em>want <em>to keep"

"It is _Lady _Grand Master Bei Fong" Toph's mother says sternly. "Avatar Aang"

"Fire Lord…" Aang says, looking up at me from across the head of the table. "What are your thoughts on things?"

"I think…" I hesitate and look at Uncle; he is dipping his banana-apple in chocolate and refusing to look at me. "Toph, it is good to have you back"

"Finally!" she shouts, hands going up in the air and startling both her parents. "Someone who doesn't act like I have had a gender change!"

Xx~xx~xX

"They make you do all these _weird _things" she whispers conspiratorially, like she is confessing to a series of terrifying torture methods.

"Things…?"

"Yeah, Sparky…"she grins. "Things"

"I wish I was born male" she finishes, slurping the grape-mango juice in her hand before smiling shyly and attempting to drink it more quietly.

She wishes she was born male? She stands before me, in the black and green garment I am sure her mother picked out for her, her hair lustrous and onyx in its unattainable glory and her skin… that skin…

"You're staring Sparky"

"How do you always…"I sigh, but drop it when she starts grinning.

"Did your Uncle tell you about the 'walking lessons'?" she asks, tilting her head in my direction while her eyes remain trained unseeingly on the breathtaking view of the sea dock feet bellow.

"Yes, he said you walked like a…"

"Constipated ostrich-horse!" she finishes, snickering, her body doing its shaking thing when she laughs; were she turns away from you and attempts to hide her laughter.

"You walk fine" I mumble.

"Wouldn't know" she says "Took forever for me to learn anything; Madam Gau says it's a contribution of blindness and indifference. I agree fully"

"But my Mother thinks she is so clever" Toph sighs. "I know she is trying to hurry the prospect of me getting married. Parading me like some kind of Tiger-Panda before everyone. I am stuck in this bloody corset thing with all its wires and my boobs need some air"

Her boobs have either gotten bigger or it's the corset. It has to be the corset that is making her waist so small and her hips so wide. It has to be the corset that makes her behind so…

"Stop staring!" she gasps. "You are as bad as Sokka"

"Sokka stares at you?" I ask her, pouring her more juice. The servant watches me with shocked eyes; the Fire Lord serving…

"Its times like this I really wish I knew exactly how I looked that makes people act weird" she sighs.

"You are beautiful" I blurt. "Uh, I mean… you look different… feminine from … before. There is… apparent, uh change… in your uhm, body so…"

"Yep" she grins impishly and then cups her breasts. "My boobies are a Grand Master size apparently!"

"So is my butt" she turns around and wiggles her bottom. "Madam Gau says my natural 'attributes' might save my failure at being a proper lady and getting married"

"Do you want to get married?" I ask her, looking at her face intently for the real truth.

"I don't even have a boyfriend, Sparky" she whispers. "I haven't even… I am _blind_. At the end of the day, that's what it falls down too"

"You are beautiful"

"I don't know that" she sighs. "Anyway, I don't really see the use of it right now. I did this stupid 'Women's Boot Camp' to get my mother of my back. I am done now so I'm going to go travelling"

"You passed?"

"I only agreed for to do it for a year" she grins. "Passing wasn't part of the deal… why do you think mom's sulking right now?"

"I think the biggest agenda right now is the promises we had made at the beginning" Aang sighs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"I understand Zuko…" he says softly, closing his eyes. "The process of removing your troops is taking some time…"

"It isn't a simple matter of extracting them" I tell him, turning away from him and staring at the portrait of me Mai had mounted in the reading room. It was done about week ago and I had not studied it closely. I look like my father with the dim light surrounding it…

"It is a matter of keeping everyone happy" he finishes and his voice-always young and bubbling-is gravely and grim.

"Yes" I sigh. "That is what it always falls down too"

"Some people are not going to be happy" he says. And I feel him rise from the chair and come and stand next to me. Is looking at the giant painting of me and thinking how much I look like Ozai here…

"You need to be more forceful" he whispers.

"I have just conducted an inquest in the army and noble families for human rights abusers" I tell him, my tone soft but full of fluctuating unbalanced heights of nerve.

"And that is going to be very controversial" he sighs. "I know the type of backlash you fear with that…"

"Announce that…" I say. "The fire nation will be weeding out the injustices committed to the rest of the world from the inside out"  
>"The Earth Nation will appreciate that" he says, a hand resting on my shoulder. "But the armies have to be removed"<p>

"You want a dead line" I sigh, guessing that this was a matter I could not avoid. "You want me to set a deadline for you"  
>"I am under pressure, Zuko" he whispers. "I would love to give you time to sort out the internal affairs inside your royal court first…"<br>"But the Earth Kingdom grows restless…"

"I need a deadline to announce this afternoon" he says softly, leaving the room.

Deadline, oh the General is going to love this.

Vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"You are making a mistake…Fire Lord" he tells me dryly. I look up at him; this man who I had no choice but to appoint. The politics of the royals progress past my own family; a public inquiry of every decision I make. Criticism for every decision I make by the public and a manipulation of my image….

He is a giant man or had been when I was been younger. He is slightly taller than I am now and his once formidable frame has morphed into a thick slab of fat topped muscle. What lets me know that this man-The General-is dangerous is not his height or body weight. It is his eyes… slanted eyes that gleam with trouble and self serving righteousness… this man is a threat…

"You are aware that the army was going to be deported from the Earth Kingdom in due time" I say softly, my nerves shot and too aware.

"But so soon…" he whispers, as though I am doing him an injustice. "We do not have time to… readjust"  
>"Well…" I rise fluidly from my arm chair, and brace my self to full height with my back straight and hands locked together behind my back. "You get the troops back and we will set up a workshop to help them… readjust"<p>

"You are making a mistake" he says, but this time his voice quavers and hitches with the sneer he is holding back.

"If you are trying to threaten me" I snap, facing him head on "Then think again, _General_… I am not the little boy you saw have his face burnt"

"You are behaving…" he growls, his eyes swerving to the scar on my face and back to my eyes in a jumbled confused tango of anger.

"That boy died" I tell him softly. "The boy you remember… the boy you used to know, his days are long over. I suggest… as friendly advice, you not _test me"_

He snorts derisively, his nose compressing into a hard creased blob and lip curling over off-white sharp teeth.

"General Zhao made that mistake once" I say, trying to steady my breathing and balance.

"I am not General Zhao… _boy_" he smiles "And you are a disgrace to your father"

I can't help it; such a childish reaction when I am trying to show my new stature and changed soul but it happens. I laugh. I laugh at him, in front of him and with such abundant glee.

"It is the other way around, General" I chuckle. "But while we are on that subject… do not forget that I have your _honourable _Ozai's blood in me. I have that poison to make _ruling _you a hazard to your health. You should thank Agni Ozai's being in me only counts for fifty-percent…"

"The other half of you being that treacherous…"

I don't allow him to finish. I don't think of the action my body has decide to play out or process the anger that flushes abruptly through my body. My right hand balls up into an iron fist and in a basic instinct I strike his face, knocking him backwards.

"You are lucky…" I gasp through a vicious resentment that threatens to escape through my fire essence… "You are lucky I didn't burn your head of. Get out"

"You will regret this" he whispers, retreating and touching the purpling skin over his right eye. "You don't seem to know what makes the Fire Nation burn…"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Have you come up with your speech?" Katara asks, catching up to me as I head to the board room.

"I will say about two words" I sigh. "Aang does most of the talking…"  
>"Right" she says softly but still walks with me, casting worried looks to the three guards walking behind me. "You have body guards?"<p>

"No" I lie. "They are for assistance for the day's event"

"Right" she murmurs. "What happened to your hand?"

"Sparring session this morning…" I say softly, trying not to say the words Azula is screaming in my mind _What is it with this Water Tribe b…_ "Sokka got very aggressive"

"Sokka bruised _you_" she says, reaching for my hand but I shove it in my pocket quickly. "He hit your fist with…"

_His piggy face_

"With his… own fist" I sigh. "Katara, I am busy, I have a meeting to go to right now with Aang and the Earth King. I will see you later, please"

"_About_ that..." she says, pursing her lips "I hear Toph is in there"

She points to the giant mahogany-timber doors of the board room and looks at me with wide dark eyes.

"Toph…" that can't be right, the meeting was for the Earth King and his advisors…

"If she is in there…"

"Katara, she is a grand master earth bender…" I say softly, trying not to be too angered by the little changes Aang springs up on me "She is there _with _the Earth King..."

"Surely a Water Nation representative should be there too?" she says, waving her hands theatrically her eyes flashing in the dark corridor "You have earth, fire and _air…_"

"Come in then" I hiss "You have made me late…"

"Your sparring session with Sokka's fists made you late" she snaps, walking ahead of me and fanning her thick hair petulantly in my face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

General Sun Tzu sits unassumingly on the new board table, his brow a purple blotch of bruised flesh and eyes set sternly on the table. Three of my own officials sit beside him at the left hand of my seat. Aang sits still and uncomfortable opposite them on my right hand.

I don't look down the table, where the King Kuei sits with his Earth Kingdom cabinet. I don't look down the table to know if what Katara has said is true. I don't need to look because I feel _her._

"Thank you, Fire Lord" the General murmurs, a smile playing on his lips. "For gracing us…"

"Shut it, Sun Tzu… unless you want me to make your eyes identical" the words escape my mouth without passing through my mind. I hesitate my movements, foot hanging mid step before I let it fall down and listen intently to Azula's cackling.

I look around the narrow dark room lit by oil lamps, expecting her to emerge from the shadows, sauntering and grinning.

"Zuko…?"Katara whispers and I realize she has not taken her seat after my little comment.

"Fire Lord Zuko" Aang says softly but the authority in his voice wrenches at my chaotic mind to still itself. "If you would take your seat so we may begin?"

"Right" I huff, rushing to my seat.

"Dispute in your cabinet, young Fire Lord?" King Kuei murmurs, peering at me through his spectacles.

"Been there, done that, huh King Kuei?" Toph snickers earning a shy smile from the King. "But it is always handy to have loyal friends"  
>She turns her head to my direction-were the Fire Nation representatives sit still and tense-and smiles. The smile is not meant for me or Aang-her long time friends but for the other four individuals besides us. It's wide and reveals her pearly teeth and if one didn't know her as I did-it was a promise of a fight.<p>

"The topic we are here for…" Aang murmurs, looking down at a piece of ornamental parchment with elegant bold script on it.

"Is the removal of the Fire Nation troops" he finishes, looking over at me and signifying for me to begin.

"I am aware that the current departure rate is slow…" I say.

"It is none existent" King Kuei murmurs, raising an eyebrow. "Your troops are becoming increasingly disorderly and we have to remedy the matter before we have an incident that would tarnish your 'peace talk'. I have been courteous enough-thanks to Grand Master Toph's council-to allow a time period of which I gave to the General over there"

"Time period?" Aang and I murmur simultaneously.

"It got lost in the mail" Sun Tzu says, shaking his head

"The time period was for a month" Toph says. "The General is lying"

"The General is no longer a General then" I hiss. "Recently appointed and subsequently dispatched"

"The troops are to be removed with immediate reception of letter and word of deportation from the Army General" I say softly, ignoring Sun Tzu's shaking beside me. "This will be addressed publicly to avoid lost mail and confusion"

"Thank you, great and noble Fire Lord Zuko" King Kuei says smiling and winking at Toph.

"With the proceeding" Katara says from beside Aang. "Will you need assistance…Fire Lord?"

"We can discuss this after the celebrations" I sigh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We had made many a promise to the world" Aang's clear voice cuts through the tens of thousands of people gathered in the specially constructed court. A sea of red mingled with green and blue graces us as an astonishing result of the nations joining together.

"And many a promise shall we keep" he continues, standing tall and majestic on the platform with the flag of the world on it. "Fire Nation troops have been issued deportation by the Earth Kingdom with full support of the great Fire Lord Zuko and these undertakings _will_ be peaceful and reinforced fully by I-your Avatar-Aang. Peace is what we fought for on the day of the Phoenix Kings Fall. Peace is what we strive for and honour is our life force. One Nations prosperity will not be another Nation's fall!"

Do they hear the murmuring at that bit in the Avatar's speech? Is it my imagination that a section of red has broken out in a flurry of movement and sound? We are too far up in the tower overlooking the court yard… it may be my imagination…

"We are brothers and sisters on this world" Aang murmurs but the audio-projector carries the sound to all ears "We live together in peace and harmony as one"

With his ending note the crowd roars in applause and undulation; confetti thrown in the air and flags waved vigorously down bellow us in a beautiful colourful kaleidoscope. And behind it… through it I see a blob of black pushing its way through the sea of people. A group of black clad individuals with masks.

"Do you see that?" I hiss to uncle and he squints his eyes to the place I point to.

"it's nothing Zuko" he sighs, patting me on the back. "They are going to reveal your surprise"

The black clad individuals move through the crowd to the centre-to the canvas covered high object and wait there, heads tilted up to us.

"I reveal to you-in symbol of a new era between the world and the once tarnished Fire Nation-a statue of the Fire Lord and Avatar" King Kuei shouts joyously over the cheering and the canvas is pulled down in a flowing beige sea to reveal Aang and I standing at impossible heights side by side.

The sculptor captured Aang's innocent smile in his now distinct masculine face. He is staring ahead-lovingly-at the world I imagine. The world he and I have created full of peace, love and prosperity. I stand beside him, tall and regal with my hand behind his back-patting him in a brotherly gesture.

The Avatar and the Fire Lord.

"NO!" someone screams bellow-a sound that cuts through the murmuring or it may be my own advanced hearing…

A loud booming sound fills my ears and I look around to the others beside me to see if they are witnessing this with me. Their eyes are wide and in shock as they stare at the giant boulders flung past the thousands of peoples heads and hurtling towards us.

"Toph!" Uncle hisses but she can't see through the air. It is Bumi and Aang who save us from one of the stray boulders intended destination to our balcony-with a mixture of fast movements between Earth and Air bending.

The boulders hit the face of the court building in loud bangs and fragment towards the crowd. The earth bending escorts of the King canopy the face of the building and catch the rocks. Shouting erupts everywhere and people begin running and moving in a panicked frenzy.

I look up in dazed confusion and yet I understand. The confusion is comprehension to my mind.

The statue of Aang and I stands in the middle of the large walk way burning. It is ablaze with orange hungry flames and the crackling of the stone and moulding earth used to structure it is loud. They run around the inferno that consumes the symbol of the new peace between the fire nation and the rest of the world-throwing buckets of water and pulling the long black rubber hosepipe towards it. Katara is down there, containing the fire desperately and shouting orders while Aang and I watch on in stupefied horror.

We cannot be permitted to go down there unless it is a form of rebel attack on the Fire Lord and Avatar. We stand in the balcony, quietly watching the chaos and ignoring the desperate confused shouts of the people. Aang and I know this is no attack on us; it is an attack on the peace _we _have tried to bring.

"They must break it apart" Uncle murmurs.

"On it" Toph states, disappearing into the court as she makes her way down to the street.

A series of loud bangs and explosion erupt around us. I am sure some of them are within the building…

"Aang" I whisper cautiously to him.

"Zuko…"he sighs. "It was never going to be easy. We just have to be brave and carry on, okay"

"Yes, of course" I say softly. "But in my kingdom? This signifies…"

"It signifies _nothing_" Uncle hisses. "It only gives you fuel to be stronger and wiser in this idiotic display of contempt"

"I think it is great that I am staying a little longer" Aang huffs.

He has never found violence and disturbances easy but I was born into them. I can feel it around me as the bodies move frenziedly to put out the flames and remove the rocks the group of black clad terrorists flung at the face of the court building-in a pathetic attempt to dishonour the avatar and I. they might have succeeded I suppose…

There is a rebellion somewhere; people who look at what I have sacrificed to achieve with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. People who are becoming increasingly desperate to return to the world they knew once. The world they prospered in. Yes, it is good that Aang is here-I can trust Aang.

My friend in living and death.

"Earth Kingdom rebels who got the memo of the Fire Nation troops deportation a little late" Toph growls, pacing in front of the large fire place. "They are responsible for the boulders…"

"But the burning of your statue Avatar Aang…" King Kuei stresses "Is not a product of their actions"  
>"I didn't think it was" I say gruffly, watching Toph's angry pacing and fierce scowling.<p>

"There were two cells in the prisons bombed" Chief Officer of the Fire Nation says softly. "The cells imprisoned in them are as follows…."

He looks up once-at me with large scared eyes-before reading the paper to us.

"Cell C four located in the second level of the chambers-Former Fire Lord Ozai…" he pauses and wipes his forehead with a handkerchief "The cell was burnt to cinders and ash-an accelerant is believed to have been used. No remains are expected to be found"

"The next Cell" Uncle urges, his voice hoarse and dry.

"The next cell" the chief officer stammers. "Belonged to crown princess Azula-located at level four, enclosed and with restraints-burnt in a similar fashion with expected results to coincide with…"

"That is enough" I hiss. "Leave now"

"Fire Lord" he squeaks and makes a commotion of his exit-tripping and apologizing.

"Zuko…?" Mai murmurs from beside me.

"Oh no" I hear Sokka whisper.

"As I said, Fire Lord Zuko" King Kuei murmurs. "The earth rebels have been dealt with and have no _need _for arson…"

"Shut up and everyone leave" I say softly, looking up at Aang. He nods once, understanding something I have not and looks to Katara.

"We should leave" Katara instructs. "You will call when you need us?"

"Out" I growl. "Including you Mai… and Uncle. I want to be alone"


	8. When Death comes Knocking

_**Honey dew tea has magical properties. It has a varying flavour of sweet fruit and herbal leaves and the combination creates a toffee and clear aroma that eases the senses into a passive state allowing for optimum relaxation. The taste and aroma with its relaxing properties is sure to send you drifting through the clouds on a journey to inner tranquillity. One cup of Iroh's special tea and you'll be sleeping like the ancestors…**_

Either Uncle's tea is going to cause me to sleep like the ancestor's when I finally die-which could be very soon or this too sweet water is meant to tire me with my endless runs to the toilet. I have had my fifth cup and my mind is teaming with thoughts and voices.

I have moved bed chambers; opting for Ozai's old master room with its large balcony and windows as well as optimum security. The doors to the balcony are open, curtains drawn away from the windows and servants fanning the room but I still feel like I am in the heart of the volcano.

My thin shirt sticks to my skin like a second skin, hair is damp and stuck to the side of my face and nape and my feet leave moist foot prints on the polished floor. Iroh sent the tea to me after one of the servants alerted him to the Fire Lord's fifth day of no sleep or bathing. This is after I made it clear that my privacy was of the utmost importance… then they look at me as though I have turned into Ozai when I _discipline _them for such _indiscretions…_

_No one is to utter a word about my activities or whereabouts. Food is to be sent with care and privacy and no one is to disturb me… _

Simple instructions, simple tasks and by Agni _simple _bloody _idiots!_

"Do not look at me" I hiss to the young girl fanning in the far corner. Her eyes had been following my insistent pacing. I had seen the gleam of humour; her internal chuckling was so loud- _the Fire Lord can't seem to get some sleep…_

There is a knock on the door, it is soft and timid. I halt my pacing and listen intently to the little raps behind the giant door. It is either a female or a spineless scoundrel….

"_Master Katara…"_I hear a male voice begging. _"He has instructed not to be disturbed!"_

"_You will have us fired or worse…!" _another voice says anxiously_._ The door knob moves and twists downwards before a soft nudge to open it follows. It doesn't budge. She bangs on the door this time and I imagine her with her small water bending fist pounding away in her stubborn fury were she thinks I owe her something. She is probably muttering how spoilt I am. Yes, Zuko the spoilt _Fire Lord Brat._

"Open the damn door Zuko" she shrieks.

"Unlock it" I say softly to the guard and he jumps, looking at the door and back at me. "But don't open it for Her Supreme Nosiness"

He pulls the lever and the sound of the links unlocking resonates in a smooth metallic 'click'. I hear her huff and wait; expecting the door to open and then she swears and opens it her self.

"You are being unreasonable" she hisses, squinting her eyes at the darkness of my chamber. "Aang is waiting for your…"

"I opened the damn door Katara" I sigh. "Now you can very well close it as you get the hell out"

"We need to know what you're planning on doing…" she moves a step closer. "With regards with your father and Azula"

"They were burnt to cinders" I laugh. "Get out Katara"

"Zuko…" she whispers. "Iroh thinks…"

"Get the hell out, Katara!" I scream, turning away from the orange view of the rising sun and rounding on her-revealing myself to her. Wide blue eyes shine momentarily in the poor light and a face filled with shock and disbelief faces me. She splutters something unintelligible before rushing out-and forgetting to close my door like I had told her too.

"I want six guards added to the corridor" I whisper to the perplexed man holding the door handle unsurely. "No one… not the Avatar or _Mai _is to come in here… or someone gets burnt"

"Yes Fire Lord" he stammers. "Yes… Fire Lord Zuko"

My ears still ring from the triple blasts that erupted from within the palace as Aang and I rushed to meet with the chief officer… the shaking of the walls and ceiling… Chaos and confusion rebounding through out the estate. Their quiet questioning looks at me; how will I react to such an open display of rebellion. Such an obvious sign of disrespect…

"You can not Enter!" the guard shouts. "The Fire Lord forbids…"

I hear smashing and rumbling and soft whimpers. I shift my feet, readying myself for the predicted day, the predicted attack…

I wait for the knock on the door but it does not come. There is a muffled cry followed by two subsequent slumping sounds and then silence. The door shakes momentarily before flying of its hinges, across the massive expanse that is my bed chamber, crashing through the stained glass sliding doors in a kaleidoscope of gleaming shards, through the balcony and into the sea.

She enters in a furious pace, hair swinging wildly around her face and hiding her eyes. Her fists are balled into pale delicate weapons of mass destruction and she is in a despicable beige shirt and pants clashing furiously with her milk skin. I stand still, eyes wide and mouth hanging open, confounded…

"Get your_ shit_ together Sparky" she says softly. "I'm giving you fifteen minutes to clean your _royal ass_ and get down to the second dining room"

"I am not…"

She slides her bare foot over the marble and I feel distinct vibrations rumble from where she stands to my own soles. "Your talking privileges have been stripped, now undress… get your butt in the grand bath tub to your left…"

I look to my left, to the two pale brown doors hiding the grand bath tub in question….

"Bathe your stinking skin and get your ass down to the last relative you have in Sozin's blood line"

"No" I say softly.

"It wasn't a request" she whispers, closing her eyes before looking up at me-in my direction and smirking. "I still owe you a beating for burning my feet…"

"Toph…"

"I'm going to wait right here…" she says, cocking her head to the bed. "And you and I can go down together"

She sat on the bed the whole time, head turned towards me and grinning widely at my discomfort. Did she have to be here, in the room with me while I dressed? Surely Mai would not be pleased-I think. Would she be bothered and did it even matter? Toph is blind… but that had not stopped my skin from heating up and steaming the water right of off it…

"Zuko" Uncle cries, hefting his weight out of the chair and wobbling towards me. His face is etched with hopeless despair and eyes are puffy in their wrinkled encasing. I let him mourn… alone…

"Uncle" I rasp my throat dry and constricted.

"Did you get my tea" he whispers into my shoulder, holding me tightly as though he would never let go. "I asked Mi to set it on your table… she told me you where ehm, pleased and gave her a… vacation"

"I told her not to worry, you are not yourself" he adds, finally releasing me and studying my face. "A beard… it is fitting… for the… service"

Katara and Aang look up to me in mild sadness and intense anxiety. I shake my head once to them and they look away quietly and busy them selves with the many tea pots laid out on the table.

"Zuko" Sokka murmurs. "I've been liaisoning with the chief officer while you were…well, dealing with…in your…."

"He had him sift through the ashes… for the remains" Suki whispers, holding Sokka's hand.

"Oh" I say, turning to Mai who is standing still and cold by the mantle piece. "Master Katara and Avatar Aang, I would like to speak to you privately"  
>"Now you want to speak" Katara snaps, startling everyone.<p>

"If now is a good time for Fire Lord Zuko…"Aang says softly, looking at Katara with a pointed gaze "Then now, shall it be"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"If you would Aang…" I say softly, looking at the door. "Announce that a private memorial service is being held"

"Zuko…"Katara shushes. "This is all unnecessary! Your Uncle…"

"My Uncle needs to be away from here soon" I hiss, shocking her again with my anger. She takes a step back towards Aang. "He needs to be safe… their cells were bombed. It was an attack on the royal family… I am trying…"

"Zuko" Aang whispers, his face dark and pained. "We will help you… we will do it your way, like _we _promised"

"Katara?" I ask her and she frowns, folding her arms over her chest.

"Fine" she sighs. "But this is wrong… it is wrong and poor Iroh…"

"Poor Iroh will be alive at the end of all this" I breathe, thinking of the words 'accelerant' and 'technical barbed bombing device'.

Sozin's blood line rests with my Uncle and I but that does not mean the foyer is empty of mourning relatives. Mourning power hungry relatives who smell an opportunity to snuff out the turbulent line of Sozin's children and bring forth a new royal Fire Nation family. I recognise two out of the thirty relatives of second cousins, uncles and aunts. My mother's family is not here… why would they be…. Unless to celebrate Ozai's final judgment day.

No words are said to describe the Fire Lord and one time self proclaimed Phoenix King and his Fire Princess daughter. I have had the ashes stored in gold urns with black and red ornamental engravings that described them; that tells the story of the good they may have held but was lost between the blood and glory.

As is tradition, they will be placed in the royal burial tomb in their own tombs marked with their names.

I send out a letter to the nation detailing all of this:

_A series of bombings took place ranging from the court building where the Fall of The Phoenix King ceremony was held-where earth nation rebels caused a disruption too-back to the royal palace. The bombs were small and containable in the outer structures of both buildings and the Fire Lord and Avatar managed to detain any hazardous spread of fire or after shock… the bombs in the underground layers of the palace-where the royal prison chambers where… were distinctly managed and sophisticatedly operated with two targets. There was accelerant involved, causing the fire to rage fiercely and quickly-burning everything to ashes._

_Nothing could have survived such an attack, especially if shackled and stripped of fire bending_

"I am not leaving" he says, folding his arms carefully over his large expansive chest. "I am not leaving my son"

"You mean nephew" Toph murmurs.

"That's what I said" Uncle huffs.

"What is it with you Royal Fire…"she mutters, moving away from the table to stand behind Mai's chair.

"Uncle… I am okay" my head thrums continuously and their chattering isn't helping.

"You don't sleep and fire people every hour" he says, shaking his head. "Literally too"

"That was one time…" I mumble, looking to Mai. She smiles weakly at me.

"I will stay with him" Toph announces. "Like a body guard…"

"I don't need a body guard, Toph" I hiss.

"Not for you" she chuckles. "For the poor servants who need fire proof suits to work around you!"

"That does make me feel better, Grand Master Lady Toph Bei Fong" Uncle says thoughtfully "I mean…. Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong"

_Didn't we do this_…? An intrusive thought murmurs and the strange room wobbles slightly.

"For a week" I say, shutting my eyes tightly and trying to ignore the odd sensation crawling up my spine at the unfamiliarity of everything and yet I recognize it all…

"A month it is" Uncle says, smiling a little.

"And the Avatar and Water Bending Master were remaining, I understand?" Mai asks, looking at me questioningly. "Zuko…you are swaying?"

"Uh…" it felt like the scene playing out in front of me; Toph standing in the hideous ensemble, Uncle sighing in his seat eyes on me and Mai's indifferent gaze scanning me… it felt like watching a play from high up in a spectator booth…

"Wait, Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen were already staying…" Toph asks walking aggressively over to me. "And I was not invited to stay…"

"You smell like Cherry-Peach blossoms"

"Uh… oh-_kay_" Toph says uneasily, backing away from me.

"Zuko…?" Uncle asks, eyeing me with concern.

"Did I say that?" I ask, looking around the room at the different shock ridden faces.

"It is best for your Uncle to be here with you" Chief Hakoda murmurs. "We will stay for a week… to see how things pan out"  
>"I will stay until the Security team finishes their work on the bombings" Aang says. "Until they come up with a perpetrator… and maybe even after that"<p>

"The rest of us will be here for the week" Ty Lee says softly, placing a hand on Mai's shoulder. "For support"

"You need to sleep…"Katara whispers, her motherly tone dripping with a maternal compassion "You need to rest. You look like…"

"A wild porcupine-boar's rear end" Sokka mutters. "Scary like one too"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They have all stayed, after the guest returned literally that evening of the attacks-they stayed. It fills me with some measure of security to know they are here. They are here for now… It fills me with a little more security to know that they haven't preyed on where it is most exposed… yet.

Shall I say it was the Phoenix Kings loyalists who planned the attacks? It does not make any sense to kill the Phoenix King you treasure so much… it makes no sense unless you have a bigger grander plan.

All of this after the announcement of the inquiry and deportation of the soldiers form the Earth Kingdom… All of this… when I am trying to _redeem _my nation. The poison lies close to the heart.

**AUTHORS NOTE: This has got to be my least favourite chapter. It had to be done though, thanks to my little map of how events are to pan out for the next two or so chapters. Tried to wrap my head on how Zuko would react to a rebel movement-insomnia and paranoia came up.**


	9. House Of Flying MonkeyRabbits

It is obvious for me that who ever had planned the assassination of the two royal prisoners thinks they have succeeded. They think they have put one over me. There is a difference in the air around the palace, there is a difference in the way I am watched and looked at. There is a difference…

The biggest blunders of my career as Fire Lord was letting my continuous guilt over the death of Katara's mother rule my judgment. That fateful day during that dinner when she had suggested a change in the monarchy system and I-always blinded by my quest for nobility and honour-took her word and restructured things. There is a reason the Fire Lords of old did not tamper with the system; it was perfect in its absolution. Ozai might have abused it and others before him but it worked for a nation of tempered passionate beings. This blunder-this inclusion of the opinions of spoilt Nobles who have never seen a battle field-has cost me so much.

Too restructure now, to change things around would be accepting that there is a problem and announcing my paranoia. It would question my capabilities and judgment; a ruler who sets out new laws only to remove them in an undecided manner.

The air around is to still and their eyes full of shadow and many thoughts.

_Two down, two more to go…_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You have three meetings, sire" my assistant murmurs. "The main one is to appoint a new general"

"And the other two?" I sigh

"A request from the cabinet" he says softly, flicking through his folder. "A request for a parley with you to discuss the deaths…"  
>"Not happening" I hiss. "Next one"<br>"u

"Uh, you have scheduled a thirty minute lunch with Lady Mai's mother…"

"No I haven't!" I say loudly, rising from my seat and looking at him incredulously. "You have been _smoking _something… why in Agni's eyes would I do _that!"_

"Uhhh…" he flips through the pages hastily, his eyes wide and terrified "The Lady Mai…"

"She told you to add that to my day planner" I sigh.

"Well…"

"Leave please" I mumble and he bows low and exits.

"All in all" Uncle says thoughtfully "I think that went well. You were polite and tried to listen…"

"I don't need a babysitter for my meetings" I hiss. "It implies I cannot manage my own affairs!"

"I never said I was babysitting, Zuko" he sighs "I am here because you have a tendency of _dealing _with your emotions through…"

"You are not my psychiatrist"  
>"I don't want to be" he chuckles. "Your brain is a complex organ; you manage all these Nobles and scheming servants with an iron fist but let Mai walk in…"<br>"I manage Mai fine"

"You do not 'manage' a woman" he laughs. "Go talk with her mother, it would put the Nation at rest if you put forward an engagement announcement; a sign that you intend to keep the blood line alive and well"

"And of the Parley?"

"Well, you could always repeat the statement that a private ceremony was held and you are grieving the loss of a father and sister" he says softly, a sad shadow covering is eyes "they enquire… I think, to find out how strong you are in this sad time"

"Hmm" I murmur, thinking how bright an idea it had been when Katara suggested I restructure the nuclear ruling system from an absolute monarchy to one that included the nobles and founding families. How bright and noble it had been but now… it was nothing but a nuisance! Having a democracy might work in the Southern Water Tribe but in the Fire Nation it spelt trouble.

"But you have to show your face more, Zuko" he says sharply. "Arrange a banquet or tea party!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"She is very…" Mai's mother, the honourable Lady Kuya murmurs, her eyelashes fluttering slightly. "Passionate about you, Lord Zuko"

Passionate? Of all the words to describe Mai's emotions for me… _passionate?_

"Uh…"

"She is trying to be here for you, as best as she knows how… Lord Zuko" she continues, a thin pursed pout on her lips-I am sure that is her way of smiling. "I am so honoured that you made time in your _busy _schedule for me"

"Mai did that"

"I am sure you discussed it as couples do" she says, fluttering her eyelashes again and doing her pursing smile.

"We didn't…"  
>"And she told me about the <em>engagement<em>" She whispers, looking around for some unknown person and then giggling. This was distracting-she looked like Mai but behaved like Ty Lee…

"That is yet to be announced" I sigh.

"Are you not going to eat the cookies, Fire Lord?" she says, pushing the saucer towards me. "I made them especially for you"

"I will take them with me" I say dryly. "I'll have them for tea with my Uncle"  
>"The former famed General Iroh" she squeals. "Oh, yes… that would be <em>perfect <em>if you have them with _him"_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

"I have to leave in two day's time Zuko" Aang says. "It is urgent… the Earth King…"

"The troops are a problem, aren't they" I breathe. "Things not going as smooth…"  
>"We never thought they would" he says, smiling a little. "It is imperative I go either way. A code red"<p>

"Then you leave" I sigh. "I am not a _code red_. Everyone needs to stop tiptoeing around me…"

"I know that Zuko" he says softly. "But honestly, as my friend… I don't want to see this peace you sacrificed so much for end up costing you more than we bargained for"

"I sacrificed nothing" I sigh. "It was the right thing…"

"Yes, but here you are…" he says, waving a hand in front of us. "Worrying about assassinations and losing sleep"

"Can we talk about something else!"

"Katara went to do that thing" Aang murmurs, walking beside me and trying to keep up with my long strides "She took some… provisions with her"  
>"No one saw her?" I whisper to him, my eyes looking straight ahead at the giant doors of the meeting room.<p>

"She was careful" he sighs. "She cares about you, Zuko"

"Who?"

"Katara" he says, and I can hear the love he has for her as he says his name, a love that I am jealous off … "She can be overbearing but you don't make it easy on yourself"  
>"I won't bend to her will" I chuckle. "I am not <em>water…<em>"  
>"I know" he sighs. "But you upset her that day… when she came to get you from your room…"<br>"I was…" I stammer. "I apologize, but Katara needs to understand that I am not Sokka or you" 

"Yeah, I spoke with her…" he sighs. "She went up on her own accord and came down crying…."

"She cried…?"

"She said you were scary, you didn't look like you…" he whispers. "You looked _dangerous"  
>"<em>I do apologise" I say softly. "I will apologise to her…"  
>"Toph, well… she hated all the spluttering and hushed discussions… she is not too patient with crying people girls and sulking Fire Lords…" he chuckles. "How did she…"<p>

"She threatened to fight me into the bath tub" I say in a hollow tone. We stand in front of the doors of the meeting room.

"Well, good I had better go and check on Katara… I need to talk to you though, later" he sighs. "Take it easy, Fire Lord"

"Don't I always?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We could return a few soldiers at a time…" Ming murmurs, his thin fingers tapping against each other expectantly. His thin pale face is oily, sharp hooked nose glistening with moisture and beady eyes scanning the table.

"Why?" I say softly.

"It will not strain our resources that way…" one man on his right says softly.

"You abuse the extra power I give you" I say quietly, trying to retain my anger. "I give you democracy and you sit around plotting…"

"Do you call this a democracy?" Garza hisses. "You bring in the Avatar to overthrow any decisions…"

"Is the Avatar present here?" I shout, slamming my fist hard on the table and leaving a smouldering black bruise on the reddish wood.

"Why is the Earth Kingdom sending in blind people…" another man says in hushed tones and I hear murmurs of agreement.

"She is a guest of the Fire Nation…" I rasp, rising out of my chair and glaring at the idiot man. He shrinks into his chair and purses his lips shut.

"I hear she is a grand master…" Fang says softly. "She has been here a while… what is your relation…"

"She is a friend. A comrade from during the war…"

"And of the water bender?" Garza asks, smirking. "She walks around the estate unescorted and sending orders to the royal servants to leave her be…"

"You asked for a Parley to discuss your prejudices against other Nations?" I say softly, an odd smile creeping over my lips. "I cannot have a cabinet of old discriminating spoilt…"

"Fire Lord Zuko, you over step…" Fang hisses.

"No, Fang" I laugh. "I _assert _my birth right. I give you respect and freedom and you run amuck like monkey-rabbits…"

"Fire Lord Zuko… you gave us this new form of… you appointed this new structure to help you lead in your _youth…" _Fang says, his voice shaking.

"With the Fire Lord Ozai…"Ming says his eyes wide and excited.

"_You shut up about Ozai..!" _I scream and the room goes deathly quiet. The lamps are bright, their flames licking up wildly and I take huge breathes until all I can hear is my hammering heart and no rushing sound of violence.

"We only mean…"Fang says softly, sitting back down anxiously in his seat. "You need advisors… your youth is temporary so in the meantime…"

"I can remedy my 'youth' easily" I chuckle. "I am starting to think all you understand is tyranny and being dictated. I give you an inch and you want to rule my nation with your dishonourable…"

"We are agreeing, Fire Lord!" Yu Lee shouts. "We agree with you… but to hastily remove the soldiers is…"

"The attacks on the royal prison cells…!"Ming says, looking around for support but they have all calmed down. Their sugar rush abates…

"Is a sign… that certain people-dare I say of noble birth-think a peaceful Fire Lord is a weak one" I chuckle.

"I know what medicine I need to give you to abort this illness that has spread into your minds…" I whisper, leaving them swiftly in their chaotic shouting and panicking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That Kuya is…" Uncle says, pausing as he savours the cookies I brought for him. "A great mother in law!"

"You are going to rot your teeth, Old Man" I sigh.

"Then you will have to chew my meat for me" he chuckles, picking up a cooking and offering it to me. "Try one Zuko! It will turn you sour scowl into a sweet smile"

"The only way those cookies will make the Fire _Lady_ smile…" she chuckles, emerging from behind me and taking a seat by Uncle "Is if they grant three wishes and a spare life"

"You don't know whether I smile a lot or not, Lady Toph _Bei Fong_" I say, grinning at her.

"You're smiling now" she deadpans. "And was that your best come back? I could hear you performing in the board room… highly entertaining… good use of wording and threats. Nine out of ten all in all…"  
>"You were eavesdropping!"<p>

"We were taking a walk near there" Uncle says softly, waving a hand dismissively to signify it was not a serious matter "She can hear pretty far and you were pretty loud"  
>"I thought you were going to burst your voice box!" Toph laughs.<p>

"You _all_ were pretty loud" Uncle says, eyeing me with concern. "Sounded like a riot of Nobles for a second there…"

"Yeah! Remember that time when you said our Nation's Nobles were the same…" Toph asks, leaning forward, her eyes unfocused on the fanning girl on my left. "Well… yours is by far _wilder!"_

"If you had been listening…" I say without humour "Then you will know…"

"We weren't really listening" Uncle shrugs, taking his eighth cookie

"All I really heard was something about a comparison to a monkey-rabbit?" Toph asks, grinning so widely her cheeks were going pink. "Man, Fire Nation politics rule! King Kuei can be so boring… when he isn't throwing parties for bears… no live action…"  
>"There should be no live action in the Fire Lord's board" Uncle says seriously.<p>

"Do not lecture me" I sigh. "I know what I am doing. Everything is under control…"

"Have a cookie Toph" Uncle says, ignoring me. "Zuko's mother-in-law baked them especially for him"  
>"No thanks" Toph says, frowning and leaning back in her seat-al humour gone. "They smell funny"<p>

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Lord Fang is requesting…"  
>"No" I say, scrawling a letter to the Chief of Security for an immediate meeting.<p>

"Uh…" Qie Chang, my assistants mumbles standing unsurely in the middle of my office. "Shall I tell him…?"

"I said no Qie Chang" I sigh, dropping the writing coal. "What else can you tell him? Do you want to give him a flower for his troubles?"

"He is outside your door" he whispers, cocking his head behind him-to the door.

"So?" I growl and the slight young man quivers slightly under my gaze.

"He is… Lord Fang?" he stammers.

"And I am the bloody Fire Lord!" I shout throwing the writing instrument at him and hitting him square on the forehead-leaving a smudged diagonal black line on his forehead. "Tell the idiot I said no!"

"Yes Fire Lord" he stammers, backing away quickly. "Of course, Fire Lord"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I have caught up with you!" Fang says softly, running beside me and pulling his burgundy robes up. "I understand how busy you must be…"  
>"Why are you grovelling?" I snap. "What do you want from me, Fang?"<p>

"On the subject of a Royal _advisor…_" He says, shuffling and half running to keep up with me as I try to get away from him.

"That is not a subject"

"When you consider it…" he says anyway, smiling sheepishly. "You could consider _me…_"

"If you do not remove yourself from my radius I will consider a few things…" I growl and he stops abruptly but I hear his low curse before he disappears.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The room has been redecorated after Toph broke the door and smashed the antique stained glass sliding doors. Mai was not amused about that but she redid the interior with little complaining and swiftly. It was cool and had none of the previous fire-the orange hues and cream marble that made everything to appear alive like a calm flame that had the potential to turn into an inferno. She likes black I note-the curtains that cover the plain glass doors are a satin black and the bed covers red with cream trimming. She says the darkness will help me sleep. It's the darkness that keeps me awake Mai…

"Your meeting…" she says softly, folding some robes she had made for me and shirts on the bed "Everyone is talking about it"

"Our Nation is full of gossips" I hiss. "Why are you doing that… surely one of the servant girls…?"

"It is what a wife should do" she says softly.

"Right"

"You are well?" she asks, stacking the clothes on the corner of the bed and leaning back on the bed.

"Why?" I sigh. "You think I should be crumbling…?"

"You have been six different moods in one" she sighs, playing with her hair. "My mother says you seemed tense…"

"I had to meet with her unexpected" I say soflty "of course I would be _tense…_"

"And of Fang" she surges ahead, throwing my thoughts on their head.

"What of him..?"

"I hear you are considering him as a Royal advisor…"

"What!" I shout, running my hands through my hair and pulling. "There is no… I have not… that ambitious _snake_"

"I thought it was a lie" she says, smiling.

"Where did you hear it from?"

Her eyes go wide and her mouth hangs open momentarily before she quickly says "Fire Nation Gossip"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The gardens have always been my favourite part of the Royal Grounds. When I was younger-but a child-I would get lost in them. When I had my mother, my ethereal representation of what Agni's love should feel like-Ursa, I had played by the pond with turtle-ducks and fed them bread crumbs and stroked their soft feathers and felt the hard shell on their backs.

The bushes were a special rare kind that smelt like Lilac-grass and Lemon-mint if you crushed the bluish leaves in-between your fingers… they had these pretty pale blue flowers that blossomed for a short period nearing the celebration of the Dragons…

"Zuko…" Aang sighs, looking up to the skies in frustration. "Would you pay attention?"

"I am…"  
>"No, you are not" he says softly. "I heard about the meeting… I told you to take it <em>easy<em>!"

"You are a monk" I sigh "Taking it easy is a life time goal for you"

"Zuko, something is up and you being blinded by your temper…" he says, his eyes wide and determined "Remember when your bending diminished… when you weren't so angry anymore and we went…"  
>"I remember, Aang" I sigh. "My bending is fine"<p>

"No, it is haywire…" he says sternly. "Your emotions are escaping through your chi… you are not separating the two energies"  
>"If this is about chi and meditation…" I say softly "I have some stuff to do…"<p>

"I have to go and control things in King Kuei's kingdom" he huffs. "I just want you to remember something and do one little thing for me… while I am away"

"Sure"

"Meditate; practice your bending and improve on it…"  
>"I am a Master" I growl. "I don't need to improve on anything…"<br>"Then it wont hurt…" he says smiling a little. "Sparring works your anger out…"  
>"Whatever, what was the other thing"<p>

"Iroh and Toph are your eyes and ears" he whispers. "Katara is handling your… other private affairs"

"You discussed this with them, didn't you" I say, my voice rising. "You think me…"

"Shut up and be honoured to have an Uncle and friends as you do!" he says, his eyes flashing. "We can argue when I am back… "

"There you are…" Uncle says, walking through the Patio over to us. "I was wondering if you had busied yourself in your room with Mai…"  
>"Uncle…"<br>"Oh, Aang…" he chuckles, ignoring me "I understand from the lovely Master Katara you are to leave soon"

"Yes, Uncle… uh" he says, smiling at my Uncle. He never knows how to address him.

"Take some of my tea with you" Iroh says, holding a neatly wrapped brown bag. "For you, and all the others. Let them know I miss them and I will return when all is well…"

"All _is_ well!" I hiss.

"Of course" Aang smiles at Uncle and bows in appreciation and respect.

"Oh, the refreshment's have arrived!" Uncle says eagerly as the servant girl approaches us with a decanter of wine with two glasses.

"Place them over there" Uncle indicates and she does as she is told and hurries away. "Only two glasses…"

"I don't drink wine…" Aang says smiling at Uncle. "You can take my glass…"

"I am not drinking anyway" I grumble. "I have to wake up early tomorrow for…"

"For a meeting" Aang finishes, rolling his eyes.

"I want you to interview the guards…"

"Fire Lord…" he says, looking at the paper Qie Chang has given him of the list of new guards to escort me and to be assigned around the palace.

"You can dispatch the old security team to something else" I sigh. "I want new faces on the court; new guards that have experience in the field-half have to be fire benders"

"Yes Fire Lord" Security Chief Kirozu says, his eyes never leaving the paper. "It is an honour… you have called upon me over the previous…"

"It will be an honour when you do your job _right_" I murmur. "New guards, let them know that disrupting my guests will be intolerable…"

"Yes Fire Lord" he says, his voice full of reverence.

"Orders and _privacy_ are of the utmost importance… I wont tolerate _anomalies _and _gossip_"

"Of course Fire Lord" he says, nodding his head.

"I would like for you to lead my personal escort for trips" I say and he smiles.

"Fire Lord?" Qie Chang murmurs, peering through the door. When had he left... "Lady Katara sent a request for your presence _urgently"_

My body goes cold and a sickening numb sensation spreads through my limbs. Katara and I have not spoken directly since our incident, save for updates on my _private relations_… her request for me… urgently must mean that something has happened. They have been found out… I have failed to…

"Fire Lord?" Qie whispers hurriedly. "It is urgent?"  
>"Kirozu" I whisper, my throat constricting painfully. "This will have to be the end"<br>"Yes, Fire Lord" he says, and watches me move stiffly out of the office with wide confused eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I follow Qie Chang as he rushes down the corridor, through the inner court yard and out to the Palace. I don't ask him what has happened… I don't ask him if everything is okay… I don't need to. It is what has kept me up so many nights and sits heavily in my mind. All my determination and strained ingenuity has come falling down around me and I have failed to save us.

Iroh and I are now truly alone…

"Hurry Zuko!" Ty Lee shouts, rushing towards me and pulling my hand furiously.

She leads us through the passage that takes us to the guest bed chambers….

"Ty Lee?" I whisper

"He is so ill!" she groans. "Katara is with him…"

"He?" I ask, stunned. "Ozai…?"

"What?" she frowns, nodding her head to the guard outside of Iroh's bed chamber door to open for us. We enter Uncle's room and the first person I see is Toph, standing at the foot of the bed, her arms over her chest and full lips set in a livid pout.

"He has been poisoned" Toph growls. Her hair is a mess, its previous straightness transformed into waves of black around her face, covering her eyes but I can feel the protective violence radiating off of her…

"We don't know that yet…"Katara says softy, hovering over someone-him-on the bed.

"Ozai…?" I whisper, looking at Katara pleadingly.

"Zuko…" Ty Lee says softly. "Ozai is dead, honey"

"It's your Uncle" Mai says, rising from the chair and walking over to me. "he has a violent stomach ache"

"Poisoned" Toph mutters.

"Toph!" Katara hissed. "With what is happening now… here within the Fire Nation, you have to be careful with such accusations!"

"Uncle…!" I cry out, snatching my hand from Mai and rushing to the bed "Iroh...!"  
>"He is asleep" Katara murmurs. "I gave him something for the pain and it knocked him out. He had emptied his stomach so there was nothing to absorb the medication…"<p>

"Emptied his stomach in the garden" Toph says softly. "While we were playing tiger-chess. He said he hadn't been feeling well and I suggested some fresh air…"

"It may have been all the blooming flowers in the garden" Mai says.

"Or maybe… he was _poisoned!_" Toph roars. "And when I find the little…"  
>"Toph!" Ty Lee shouts. "This is not the Earth Kingdom! Things are done differently…"<br>"And _sneakily"_ Toph adds furiously, balling her fists and changing her stance defensively. "Not Iroh, not …."

"Toph" I sigh.

"He is okay" Katara whispers to me. "He emptied everything in his stomach when he puked so if there was anything that was… harmful, it's out of his system"

"Thank you Katara" I sigh, holding my Uncles warm hand in my own.

"He needs to rest" Katara says, smiling softly.

"You can take the day off, Zuko?" Katara adds.

"What?" I say in surprise. "I can't…"

"Don't worry, Sparky" Toph says, short, curvy and formidable by the foot of the bed. "I won't leave his side, go do your Fire Lord thing"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What is this I hear about the Great General Iroh?" Garza asks his face blank. We are walking to the construction site for the army barracks for the predicted influx of soldiers as a result of the Earth Kingdom Deportation.

"Only you know what _you _hear, Garza" I say softly.

"It will be unfitting for a General of such stature to be brought down by _vomiting_" he says reproachfully.

"Garza… if you have something to say…"  
>"Send my sympathies" he says hurriedly, a small smile on his lips. "Fire Lord Zuko"<p>

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My bed chamber is too dark and desolate. The expanse of a space that is supposedly fitting for a Fire Lord is grandeur and ostentatious-just how Ozai was. A space so large that the air moves with ease and heats up slowly leaving the room cool and comfortable.

I sit on the bed, sweating and cramped. The walls moving towards me in a ruthless wobbling manner and the floor slippery beneath my feet-my mind is teaming with angry ants running wildly through my thoughts. I am a prisoner of my own body.

**AUTHORS NOTE: About the whole relatives of Zuko-think of it this way, as a sort of untold fire nation history. If Sozin's father had a brother, and his father before him had a sister then by the time we get to Zuko's line he would have a whole bunch of extended relations. But with the Fire Nation reigning system being an absolute monarchy for centuries upon centuries-there would be no need to have them mentioned or show up for coronations and such.**

**But with Katara's little dinner idea( I mentioned it somewhere previously) and Zuko changing the system to give it a democratic flair… suddenly random third Uncles and long lost forgotten fourth cousins would appear for a piece of the now possibly available pie.**


	10. Mortal Battles

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

When heading into battle, when riding a black wild eland-stallion on the fields of war and waving a long sword in the air to show where your spirit lies-one has to look to their right and left to know who it is they ride into battle with. When going to war, the person standing by you can mean the difference between a victory and a mortal loss. Riding into battle alone is falling alone. Riding beside the wrong man means delivering your heart on a silver platter…

"Zuko…"

"Uncle?"

"Where have you gone off to?" he chuckles weakly. "I swear you day dream more than you sleep!"

"Are you comfortable?" I ask him, still gazing unseeingly out the large window at the pale blue cloudless sky.

"Really?" he laughs again his belly shaking slightly. "You had me moved into your room?"

"It's more comfortable" I sigh adjusting the continental pillow behind his head.

"He means it has better _security_" Toph mutters from the dark corner she sits in.

"Where do you sleep then?" Iroh sighs in frustration.

"The room adjoining… Azula's old crib room"

"Seriously?" Katara whispers. "You are taking this a tad bit…"

"I'm with Sparky… precautions and more precautions" Toph says, stepping into the light.

"I think all that matters is that Uncle is comfortable and Zuko is put at ease" Mai says softly, her hand ghosting over my arm. "I will come in and check on him personally Zuko"

"Thank you, Mai" I tell her, looking up at her from the bed side chair I am seated on and trying to smile. She knows what the odd movement on my face is and smiles softly.

"The doctor will be back at lunch time" Mai says to me. "He instructed Uncle to leave the tea alone… that wine combination with his tea was too blame"

"Of course" I whisper to her, smiling. "Wine…"

Wine that I had never asked for to begin with or cookies that I had never liked. Such deadly _combinations…_ the tea that was to blame is what reacted with everything and had him puking, and if it is what Toph says it was-then the tea is what saved him. The tea is what saved him from those deadly combinations that were meant for me-the Fire Lord who does not drink as much tea as his dear Uncle…

"I have to go now" I say, rising. "The construction work…"  
>"Of course, dear" Mai says, brushing my robe and readjusting my collar. "I will send your lunch there"<p>

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the mortal world; the concrete world of our being, the place where we feel, touch and breathe-men are levelled by what they possess. Men are measured by their strength and power. Their conquests and armies…

In this mortal world-a world that does not matter and holds no joy or understanding-an _inconsequential _world…

There is a contour that exists between our every day lives, a thin invisible rapture in space that was cut through the air long ago in a swift ripping motion by an ancient heart broken monk. A break in space; an almost invisible split in the air that allows the mortal world to seep into the spiritual world and vice versa-in a controlled miniscule amount of chi energy. There are ancient tales of that tangible tear in our mortal world-the tear that allows you to _reach_ your hand through to the spirit world and pull your loved ones back to the land of _feeling, touching _and _breathing._

I pray it doesn't come to that. I pray that these bars that hold my soul won't break under the constraints I have put on them because if I have to be _that_ monk... If my only option to search for my representative of Agni-the woman who I measure all others by-my mother; if it turns to me having to _feel _for her through an invisible fissure in the world…

"If you put in fifteen percent extra…" Lu Khan murmurs, folding the construction plans into a tight roll and returning them into their black protective tube case.

"No more money until you have completed what I have instructed you to do" I say softly.

"The fifteen percent extra, Fire Lord…" he says, grinning and wiping his oily sweaty brow "Will push production"

"Finish what you started, Khan…" I tell him again.

"Fire Lord Zuko" he says, smile gone and his previously happy fat face being over shadowed by some form of darkness… "Of course, Fire Lord…"

"Where is Garza?" I ask. The day is hot and the men are sweltering under the sun as they move the clay bricks up the steep hill. Garza told me he had appointed a foreman to construct a shed for them and have refreshments supplied. That _snake _Garza and his quick tongue… quick thoughts…

"The… Lord Garza has not been on site today, Fire Lord" Khan mutters uneasily.

"He has not? After begging me for this?" I laugh. "Where is the shed for the workers?"

"Shed?" Khan asks, scratching his bold sweaty head.

"Shed, Khan… for this _heat_" I point up at the clear sky, the round hot flaring disk in the air-the sun. "I gave Garza a slip to take to the royal treasury to receive extra money…"

"The extra money went to the wages" Khan whispers, his eyes staring intently at my shoes.

"What? There was already money put aside for that…"  
>"The men demanded more…" he squeaks as I round on him.<p>

"_Why?" _I hiss.

"Those are Fire Nation workers" he stammers, the tube he is holding shaking insistently in his sweaty grip as he points to the slow workers down below. "The… previous workers from before, well… they had been… earth nation… so with the avatar uhm…_everything_, we don't have them, uh around so we have to… and the Fire Nation workers are pricier"

"Of course" I sigh, nodding my head and narrowing my eyes at the large group of mean excavating the ground and setting up the scaffolding. "Fire Nation people are worth _so much more…"_

"It has been difficult finding skilled builders around, sire" he says, breathing an air of relief. "Fire Nation people don't really do such _meagre _work…"

"Yes" I croon. "A Nation of inexperienced men and women"

"Well, really… building and dirt is for Earth people" he chuckles freely, misinterpreting my musings for something else…

"So what is the Fire Nation about?" I ask him softly.

"Well, Sozin had that figured..." he stops abruptly, the smile leaving his face as he remembers which Fire Lord he stands with. "We are for _passion_"

"Passion" I say thoughtfully. "We _were _for passion once… but we lost it, Khan. If you really wanted these men to learn something valuable, you would have spoken up of their inexperience"

"And I" I hesitate, looking at him sadly "and I as the Fire Lord, would have spoke to an Earth Nation representative and even the King Kuei and asked for Earth Nation builders to be sent on invitation. They could have shown our poor _precious _men and women a skill they could value from…"

"Building… the Earth Nation uses bending so…" he stammers

"I am sure there are ways of constructing a house without _bending_" I laugh-more at his stupid prejudice than anything else "Our ancestors did it, your Sozin's people did it… before we lost our _passion_"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The muscles of the body can be trained to hold in an exponential amount of energy and store it in strict tensed motions of coiling for an abrupt powerful springing in battle.

I squat low, pulling my arms inward and tucking them stiffly to my sides, fists coiled and tense-energy storing. Breathing has to be calm; air has to be still around one-still and silent-thoughts cleared and chi at rest.

My eyes are closed but behind the lids are a flashing sequence of Mai's worried face as I call for a doctor, Garza's sneering sympathies, Katara's anxiousness at the restlessness around her and Toph's never smiling angry beauty. A series of down cast looks from the palace servants, the nobles and peasants as I pass them or make unexpected eye contact overlap these images in a furious haze of bright hues and dim shadowy silhouettes… my ears ring with everything I hear, lies and truths-suspicions and denies. My mouth tastes stale and my tongue is dry… I have not eaten in two days…

My muscles tremble with the chaotic energy stored as I hold the position, overriding the part in the ancient upward fire-strike form requesting 'peace of mind' and I open my eyes regardless… I open my eyes to the view from the top of my training ground, the view bellow of the orange sea. My heart is thudding furiously in my chest.

"_You have to 'still' your chi…"_ I hear my old Fire Bending trainer form my youth murmur through from my subconscious…

The heat increases without me commanding it to and my breathing comes out in a marathon of heavy huffs when I am supposed to be as calm as a floating humming-butterfly drifting through the air…

Muscles trembling, legs coiled and form set just wrong, I count down before release… three, two, one…

A blast of wild orange fire escapes my right fist as I spring my body out into and arched extension-right arm released violently up and the chi leaving through that fist in a flared blast into the air and limbs stretched painfully straight.

Wild chi doesn't necessarily mean poor fire it seems…

"Why are you grinning?"

I jump, dropping the towel I had been wiping the sweat from my face and looking around the court before spotting her sitting quietly in the shadows by the base of a large tree.

"How did you know I was…?" I stammer, picking the now dirty towel up "What are you even doing here!"

"Was here all along, _Lady _Fire Spark" she sighs.

"I thought you said you wouldn't leave his side?"

"I thought so too" she grumbles. "Besides, Mai is up there… feeding him soup and telling him how she would love her wedding to be like his own…"

"Uh…"

"I could feel the heat" Toph grins.

"Heat…?" I ask, looking around for my shirt.

"From that blast…" She says, rising from the ground and dusting her bottom. She is in another despicable beige pair of pants and loose shirt. "Saw it… you know, _through _you"

"You went through me?" I ask, shouting a little in bewilderment.

"No…" she says slowly, walking over to me. "You're standing on the ground Zuko… I see through the ground, I see you-I see and feel the flames or more like _heat _building up in you_…_"

"You see my chi?" I blurt.

"Your fire?" she says unsure. "You call your fire your chi?"

"My fire _is_ from my chi so…"

"Then if your fire is from your chi…"she muses, walking with me "then your chi is a bit… haywire"  
>"<em>My chi is fine<em>!" I hiss.

"Only you would know that" she says, smiling and visibly unperturbed by my out burst. "Do you want to spar?"

"No, I am tired" I huff, rushing to the giant gazebo. She follows me, skipping a little and humming a happy tune… absurd and contradictory to what I feel… "Why do you wear those ugly clothes anyway?"

"They are ugly?" she asks, her eyes-still mostly hidden behind her _still _uncontrolled mass of hair-going wide before she chuckles a little. "They are comfy and well, I didn't _see _anything pretty… besides, people worry too much about aesthetics, don't you think?"

"You look nice in a dress" I say brusquely, drinking Uncle's tea from my flask and pausing, flask held up to my mouth as I realise my thoughts seeped out through my mouth…

"And now, I can bet a thousand precious stones… you are blushing right now… oh honourable Fire Lord Zuko" she laughs and I turn away from her, red and annoyed.

"I think I have you all figured out" she chuckles, jumping up on the little wall and swinging her legs.

"No one has me figured out"

"You like being misunderstood, that's your problem" she says seriously and halting her legs carefree motion. "Sometimes… it's okay to let your chi escape in chaos and burn a few things…"

"I burnt you once, when I wasn't in control…" I say softly.

"Well, seeing as I won't be the one to disturb your sleep ever again…" she grins-her wide smile that shows her pearly teeth and can be a sign of a threat, humour or understanding "You can burn those that do"

"You can't train so hard without having something to eat, Zuko" Katara whines and I struggle to not roll my eyes or shout at her. This is why I prefer Toph; if I rolled my eyes, she wouldn't see and if I shouted, she wouldn't care or take it personally…

_And she is nicer to look at_ a little voice whispers in my mind.

"Look, with everything that's going on around here…" she sighs, reaching for my hand across the table. I let her brown hand fall on top of my pale hairy one in an odd contrast. She flinches at the heat, frowning up at me and continues "Don't let your fears rule you"  
>"I am not afraid, Master Katara" I grate, chanting in my mind that she is Aang's beloved and I am not to make her cry.<p>

"You don't eat…" she whispers. "Mai said you sent the lunch back. You know, she had made it personally for you… she was a little hurt"

"How do you know?"

"How do I know what?" she sighs, leaning back into her seat and removing her cool hand from my own. "That she cooked it?"  
>"No, that she was hurt"<p>

"I…." she stammers, her blue eyes raking our quiet surroundings in confusion. "It's obvious that she would be, people… if someone sent back the food I cooked, I'd be hurt"

"You need to stop thinking that people see the world as you do, Katara" I say softly to her, holding her gaze. "You need to understand that people see the world through a narrow self serving lens"

"I…" she says, her hand going over her chest-where her heart is. "You think I am naïve?"

"Do_ you_?"

"I am the one caring for your family, risking my own life here…" she says, her eyes flashing from a calm blue to burnt cobalt instantly.

"You know I am thankful" I whisper. "But I won't make the mistake of allowing guilt to rule my judgment with you Katara. Understand, I respect you… but you need to remember that I am not your brother or a young boy in love with you. I am a _man_ and I cannot tolerate certain _things_ you seem _compelled_ to do…"

"I hear you" she says cutting me touchily, arms folded petulantly over her chest and her head whipped to her left to glare at the little fountain with fire dragon-flies surrounding it in a swirling yellow glow.

"Zuko" she whispers after some time, still not looking at me. "I don't mean to be… overbearing. But I feel… I feel like you are… not yourself"

"Katara" I chuckle. "You and I both"

"You see it shows that there is something wrong…"

"Katara…before I was Fire Lord, before I was the banished Prince…" I say softly, looking up at the sapphire purplish dark sky-the point between day and night. "When I had my… when I had mother, that was the last time I was _myself_"

"So, Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe…" I smile at her and she returns my smile shyly. "There has been something wrong for a long time, but here I am… alive and well"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It isn't about being a grand master anymore. It is not about being recognized as a true master of my element. If I am _haywire_, a chaotic spirit trapped in this scarred body… then maybe just like Azula-my little sister; being broken won't stop me from being the premier promising peril to my foes.

I will transform this into a weapon; this flaw and incursion of my true self-through training and bending. That is what is important in this world, this tangible life… mastering power and being invincible. Most certainly if you are riding into battle alone and most crucially if by chance you have a companion by your side but that rider is a faceless being who would sooner turn on you than have your back.

_Aang… your presence is greatly needed here in the Fire Nation. Former General Iroh was **attacked** by a violent stomach ache. Toph thinks there is more to the matter but I cannot say more in this letter…_

_I don't trust communications at this point but stress that you hurry back here. Zuko is not well but again I fear elaborating… I have made progress with regards to one of his affairs… _

_Yours forever, missing you **intensely**_

_Katara. _


	11. Set Fire to the Rain

**A/N: RE-EDITED SLIGHTLY. Chamber girl scene and a bit of the end**

It is the hottest day on the Fire Nation calendar since the beginning of the year. The heat has turned the gardens of the common man into parched yellow blankets of grass and dead black flowers. There are few people in the streets and those that do brave the sun are sweltering under their umbrellas and moving quickly through the paved pebbled clean roads. The city is near deserted but the doors to the stores are open as a safe haven from the scorching hell the sun is raining down on the nation.

A shimmering haze covers the road-a warning of the heat absorbed by the stone road, that even through thick rubber soles of ones shoes… you will be walking on coals. Under the clear pale blue sky, the Fire Nation succumbs to the heat…

The palace gardens are dry but not burnt. The gardeners work over time under the burning fuel their benders derive power from, watering and covering delicate rare flowers in protective bags. Sprinklers are on and whirling in a droning sound underneath the high balcony of the Fire Lord's massive chamber.

"Are you coming down for breakfast?" Mai asks, twirling the string of her black silk gown in a slow motion. To a lot of people, it is a sign of detachment and boredom but really she is nervous. He stands still on the balcony, arms extended and gripping the wrought iron balustrade fiercely. Expansive broad back visibly muscular under the shirt-back facing her and staring angrily out to sea.

"No" he whispers, no altered tone to his voice-just dry and truly disconnected. As though he is on auto pilot…

"You are sweating" she says smiling a little at how ironic it is that he was now so attractive yet he was but oblivious to the matter. How beautiful he could be but scared of that fact. "Why don't you take of your shirt…?"  
>"Its hot, I am going to sweat whether I have a shirt on or not"<p>

"If you take the shirt off…"

"Then you can ogle at me like a deprived possum-vulture?" he hisses, not bothering to look at her. His voice is too low, the grating quality turned into a form of audio weaponry to her ears. "Go eat, go enjoy and leave me be"

"Do you want me to have to send Uncle here to…" she tries, braving the jitters inside her but she knows nothing she can say or threaten will make him do anything. He thinks she may be behind his Uncle's illness… she can see it in his eyes when he looks at her; cold heat emanating from his beautiful golden eye and one slanted dragons eye. _He ate your mother's cookies…_

"Out, Mai..!" The Fire Lord snarls, gripping the balcony railing tighter and his broad back tensing violently. Before she turns around, she sees the haze-a similar haze that floats over the hot roads queasily-blaring from the fists he grips the railing with. A soft nauseating shimmer in the air around his big clenched hands wafting through the air like invisible flames or deadly fumes.

"Zuko…" she whispers before shutting the door quietly. She stands still in front of the closed door, ignoring the presence of the two guards on either side of the massive door. She stares at the handle-made of pure gold on her bequest after that half wild earth bender broke the door down and she had to replace the door and redo the room. She had to do it… show him somehow that she wanted him to be comfortable, she wanted to understand him but he set up all these barriers and walls and she wasn't strong enough to jump over them.

She jumps when she hears the sound of glass breaking-a huge expanse of glass by the sound of it-shattering and the crystal like sound of it bouncing of the marble floor. She takes two huge steps away from the door, ignoring the questioning looks the soldiers give her, one reaching for the handle unsurely.

"If you _dare_…"she laughs, startled by how manic her voice is in its too high pitched quality.

Three seconds later they hear the unmistakeable sound of Zuko roaring and another smashing sound. _It must be the vase_ she thinks. _He broke the glass door and smashed the vase_.

A cloudy substance pushes its way from beneath the door and they all stand in the dark corridor looking at each other perplexed; the three soldiers and the Noble woman-as the smoke reaches their noses before subsiding a little.

"Send for a cleaner" she hisses, angry and scared at the same time. "I have a breakfast with my Uncle in law to attend".

X~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~

Garza had always been an adaptable being. From a very early age he had learnt that knowing when to keep quiet and speak up was essential when dealing with fellow Nobles. He had been Ozai's playmate once-a structured friendship as was most relations with the royal family-and had seen from a tender age of six how truly cruel the true nobles were.

Even then, the young were well aware of ranking and casts. It did not have any bearing on anything though; the lower casts were at peace with each other because they had nothing to fight for. They weren't squabbling for the attentions of a spoilt prince because subconsciously they knew that in future his favour could mean the difference between life and death. They lived quietly and accepting in their dirt and filth.

Nobles… were for the most part, taught to be cunning from birth. They may be weak but they had their cunning. They had their wits. They had their deceit.

He stored the money from the treasury in his personal safe, smiling sneakily at his dear wife; they had been paired from youth the moment their parents saw in them qualities that were fitting to survive their noble houses in the tumultuous life of the Fire Nation hierarchy system.

It was what it came down to at the end of the day; loyalty was bought not earned when it came to blue blooded spoilt fat idiots. They were all idiots really-these nobles. He had not been fully born into it as most and Ozai had reminded him of that on a continuous basis although he required his expertise on how to convince others of his plans. How to make people disappear and keep their families shut while waving a flag of our nations hope and goodness. Everyone needs a half noble Garza; and if that spoilt spineless brat had realised that he might live longer that Sozin himself.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What did you have to eat?" Iroh murmurs, picking the large shards of the former clay vase up and placing them carefully on the table.

"Mai sent you?" he asks from the dark corner were he sits, scowling and brooding. "I was… cruel to her"  
>"She did not poison me Zuko" Iroh sighs, heaving a breath and facing his nephew-his son.<p>

"I never said she did" he chuckles. "Did she say she didn't?"

"No, but… you walk around like she did" he sighs sadly.

"He walks around like _everyone _poisoned you, Iroh" Katara murmurs from where she stands-by the door-unsure and scared to enter further. She hears him growl low and squirms uneasily. How can one being be so terrifying in stillness. Like a Sabre-toothed Lion-Tiger lying still next to its kill…

"You sent away the cleaners?" Iroh asks him and he huffs in response. "You had the tea I made for you at least…?"

"I keep it in a flask" he sighs, covering his face with his hands. "Won't you leave me be? I am trying to sleep… I am trying to rest my mind… but you all keep _disturbing my peace!"_

Katara exits swiftly and the former General Iroh remains standing still-posture straight and formidable-in the middle of the giant mess his son-nephew has created. He stares past the darkness at the young man-an impressive man he turned out to be even in his twisted state and watches with anger as he sits on the chair, hair wild and paranoid beyond understanding.

"So we are to leave you in this _garbage_" Iroh says softly, waving his thick hands at the shards and food on the floor. "So you can sleep"

"Yes"

"Get up" the former General growls.

"_Make_ me, old man" Zuko snickers, dropping his hands from his face and revealing a shadowed face with one gleaming golden eye and one burning slanted eye.

"Who do you think is going to run your Nation" he asks softly, still holding the large jagged shard from the plate Mai sent him with his breakfast.

"My Nation…" Zuko laughs. "Wants me dead and gone"

"In that order?" Iroh asks.

"What…? I don't know… does it matter?" he huffs, waving a hand dismissively in the air. "It's the same"

"Your Nation has more people than the ones here on these royal grounds…" Iroh says seriously. "Do not judge the actions of a few and conclude it is the way of the masses"

"Such wise words, dear Uncle…" Zuko says softly. "But with regards to running anything today… I feel sick… I don't think I can make it"  
>"So what do you intend to do?"<p>

"Recuperate and arm myself better against all these… illnesses" Zuko says thoughtfully. "If you wouldn't mind, former General Iroh… filling my place in the meantime while I… get well"

"Zuko, this is not how it's done…."  
>"Oh but it is" he laughs, rising from his chair in the far corner of the room and walking over to Iroh, stepping into the light. Hair is a massive wild mane around his face, falling with no purpose over his eyes and stringy from sweat.<p>

"Those clever idiots in my cabinet" Zuko says softly. "Well, they suggested I appoint advisors to help me in my youthful naivety… what better advisor than you Uncle. Wise and all seeing… with your previous iron fist…"

"Zuko" he whispers shaking his head.

"Uncle… do you want me better or not?" he asks.

"Allow for the cleaners to come in and tidy this dump up" Iroh sighs, dropping the plate shard back down on the hard marble floor were it splits in two. "Bathe and wash your hair… you are to handsome to be smelling and dirty…"  
>"Handsome…" Zuko laughs.<p>

"Zuko…" he whispers before leaving. "I am proud of you, for seeing when it is you are unfit to lead… with everything around you. You are never alone son"

The Fire Lord stands in the wake of a destruction he has no memory of committing. Alone and burning from the heat of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"General Iroh" Fang murmurs. "It is nice for you to join us… where might the Fire Lord be, may I ask?"

"Has he fallen sick with Diarrhoea too?" Garza chuckles.

"I understand you implemented a policy in your…?" Iroh asks seriously, looking down on the parchment with the square formal writing and not sparing their disrespect any attention.

"Is he running late?" another man asks with a pointy face. He taps his fingers together insistently. "Or does the meeting start only when he arrives"

"Here we are" Iroh exclaims, pointing at a section of the long parchment. "Part sixteen gentlemen… that is where I come in"  
>"What?" Garza asks, the smile on his face fading slowly.<p>

"Part sixteen…" Iroh says, smiling kindly to him-he remembers Garza completely-and reading hastily. "_In the event the Fire Lord falls ill during a crucial point in his ruling_… unwell recuperating… blah blah blah…_Appointed advisor has to be of royal blood_"  
>"We never discussed such…" the thin man snarls. "Royal Blood!"<p>

"He did that without a meeting or any vote for…" Fang squirms. "He said _I_ would be the _one_…"  
>"For the remainder of the day and until my nephew feels well enough to return" Iroh says thoughtfully. "I will be your Fire Lord…"<p>

"No" Garza says, shaking his head in disbelief. "You are retired…"  
>"I am a retired General, Garza…. Not a retired Royal. Royalty is born not bought…" Iroh chuckles. "And my brother's old plaything, don't let this stomach and happy face fool you… I am still your adversary"<p>

"The war is over, Iroh" Ding Tzu-a round man with too much hair and known for being fond of young girls-laughs. "No need to prove…"

"That would be 'His Royal Lord Iroh' Ding Tzu" Iroh says softly closing his eyes. They remain quiet, looking at each other from around the board table.

"The first matter of the day" Iroh says finally, looking straight at Garza. "Will be a review of this _democratic _sector on the power of the Monarchy. It's too early to overwhelm… certain portions of the Fire Nation sector with too much… choice

"It has been compiled, completed and filed already" Fang says, laughing uneasily and loosening the collar of his robe. "Your uh, Royal Lord Iroh… we cannot move backwards when there are more things….more pressing matters like our troops and an extension request from King Kuei…" 

"We shall restructure a few points that my righteous of heart nephew overlooked" Iroh growls low ignoring Fang and they remember him not as the tea drinking happy old man of his present. They remember the past... "So trusting that everyone has the same views as he does, but I know better, eh Garza?"

"Former General Royal Lord Iroh" Garza mumbles, wiping the sweat violently from his brow so he remains with a blotched red forehead.

"Bring the files out now!" Iroh orders, leaning back on the high chair reserved for the Fire Lord.

All of Azulon's sons can be Fire Lords, it seems…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**MUSINGS OF THE SENSIBLY INSANE**

The ancient art of fire bending is derived from dragons. The form and the technique mastered over a time of centuries stored into what is now the fire bending manuscripts. This is from were all fire benders receive their instruction. This where the foundation and fundamentals of coursing the heat and chi into one through ones very veins and out through external gestures is set.

Benders follow the manuscripts word for word; they practice the movements and gestures to the utmost resemblance of the ancient graphs drawn by previous masters. This is where benders are made-through manuscripts written by masters.

Masters are made by writing their own manuscripts and forming their own external movements and pathways for their chi. Grand Masters fear no experiment and bend and alter from the manuscripts through to their own creative souls and passions in order to be completely invincible.

Like my Uncle… how innovative he is in the use of the other different styles to alter his bending to his own expectation. The first redirector of lightning… lightning…

The purest form the form that evades me and stops me from being truly invincible. I need to be invincible. I need the power. I need it…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

So I trashed the room. So I punched my fist into the glass sliding door and sent shards flying over the stupid ostentatious marble floor. And what if I threw the plate of food sent to me by Mai all over the floor? If she didn't sprinkle some extra garnish over the stuff, what's stopping someone else from altering the ingredients on their journey to me… that silly Vase that was on the table. Black clay I think she had said it was made off… it can be replaced.

What I had said earlier, about her being a deprived bird… why does she need to pester me about clothes and baths. I do what I want when I want… pestering and hovering…

"Change the bed covers" I murmur to the three girls sweeping and tiding. "I want something green… pale green preferably"

"The royal covers have the royal colours only…" The one with the short shoulder length hair squeaks, looking over to the other two servant girls for support but they both busy themselves with cleaning.

"You are telling me there is nothing green in the entire Fire Nation capital?"

"No" she says timidly, shrugging a little and clutching the pale amber sheet in her trembling fists for dear life.

"The grass is green" I say absently.

"Grass… Fire Lord?" she squeaks.

"Okay, orange will have to do" I tell her, keeping my tone level and soft "Remove these dark curtains, I feel like I am not only a monster but living in a cave as well…"

"Yes, Fire Lord" she says, bobbing her head furiously.

"The kitchens…" I murmur to her, getting up from the chair and walking over to her. She shrinks back, her tiny frame quivering and eyes staring compulsively down at the clean floor. "Where are they?"  
>"The… the… Kitchens, my Lord?"<p>

"Kitchens" I growl impatiently.

"Which one?" she asks softly.

"How many are there…?"

"The main one for the banquets and events and… the one in the second level near the patio from the front" she rambles, pulling the sheet of the bed unaware.

"Okay" I chuckle. "Show me to that one"

"Yes Fire Lord Zuko" she groans, almost in pain and releases the sheet. "If you would follow…"  
>"Yes, lead the way" I sigh. "I cannot increase my power on an empty stomach"<p>

XXXX~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX~XXXXX

I have a very vague memory of baking with my mother. I doubt I was fully in charge of speech at the time. There had been many servants around us, watching with humorous eyes as the Noble Lady moved around the kitchen with her little boy, spreading wheat flour on the floor and dusting my nose with the white powder. I can see her eyes in that memory, eyes that had been like my own-golden and beautiful-full of warmth and understanding.

The girl is the same girl I had fired a few weeks ago. It explained her fear…any hope I had that I wasn't completely terrifying evaporated. Her name is Mi and she is as short as Toph and when I told her how fond of her my Uncle was, she laughed abruptly before covering her mouth like I was going to burn it of off her face.

"He thinks of you like a daughter" I say softly, while she shuffles uneasily up ahead. My two personal Fire Bending guards walk three steps behind us; silent as the shadows as I had commanded.

She makes a non committal sound and tries to walk more fluidly and lessen her stumbling foot falls.

"Sometimes I think he wishes he had a whole brood of children" I mutter, not caring if she is still listening or too anxious to respond. This is how people were with Ozai…

"He thinks he does" she whispers, stopping in front of a rectangular metal door and pushing it open for me. "The kitchen, Fire Lord Zuko… I'll find some cloth… and dye it green for you. The royal seamstress can have your new bed covers ready in a few days"

She curtseys a little, smiling finally and peers up at me-I smile back freely-and she blushes a painful red colour on her round cheeks and scuffles back down the narrow corridor in the back of the hall. The Servants Passage as it is called.

"Wait outside" I tell the two guards softly. "No one is to enter…"  
>they nod once and stand on either side of the door, still as statues except for the slow rising motion of their chests.<p>

The kitchen is… different. The only real understanding of a kitchen that I have is from the tea shop I worked in with Uncle. It was small, dark and musky.

The contrast between the dark hidden Servants Passage and the brightness of the kitchen momentarily hurts my eyes. High windows filter light freely from the top with an odd bronze framing, there are brass coloured pots dangling over a giant island counter top and dark grey counter tops surrounding the expanse of the Kitchen. Lamps are mounted on bronze holders in intervals around the giant square space and a giant wrought iron chandelier dangles freely from the ceiling-too high up to be noticeable except for an awestruck Fire Lord. Hues of bronze, gold red and black filter warmly over the place and the _smell _of _food _attack's my nose. I can almost taste it… after days of living of off fruit and tea…

They don't notice me standing motionless and bewildered by the little entrance; five cooks and servants fleeting across the floor with knives and food and yelling freely and happily about their lives and women. They don't notice me as they laugh with the little Blind Earth Nation girl seated on the stool by the second Island… kneading dough with her small hands.

"Toph?" I whisper and she stops her laughing and kneading, her head tilting to my direction. The others don't hear my too low voice and continue jesting with her over some story about one of the guards who mistook her for a servant girl and proposed to her…

The men hover around her like butterfly-bees around a rare sweet rose-dangerously attracted but terrified and in awe of such a rare beauty…

"Why don't you come over, Zuko" she shouts and they stop their movement instantly and look to the main ornamentally designed door leading out to the patio where I am _not _standing.

"Fire Lord…" the man with the high red hat-must be the main chef-murmurs shakily to Toph. "The Fire Lord would be at meetings or the main site today… you are mistaken Lady Bei Fong"

"I heard he was ill…" the other man whispers. "Like the former General Iroh… the strangeness happening in this palace!"

"Well, I heard him say my name from over there" Toph chuckles, raising a dough covered hand in the air and pointing at me. They follow her index fingers direction and when they see me they drop their utensils to the ground and shrink away. The kitchen is quiet except for the resounding sound of the knives and spoons clattering on the floor and Toph's snickering.

"He isn't a dragon" she laughs but they remain still and eyes averted away from me.

"You can…" I stammer, walking slowly over to where Toph is seated. "Continue?"

"Uh… Fire Lord" the master Chef mumbles. "We were…"

"Amusing our Earth Nation guest" I say, trying to smile and hating how odd my voice sounded or the irritation I have over their hovering around her. "She is very… well, there was no harm done. Good to see nations… well, anyway."

"Is there anything I can do for you Honourable Fire Lord" he asks in a hushed tone, waving his hands for the rest of the servants to clear the spoons from the floor and finish their tasks.

"I came…" I begin, watching her knead the whitish grey dough with the sprinkles of brown and golden bits in it.

"His Royal Highness came to find something to eat" she finishes. "Won't you make the Fire Lord a sandwich or something… just make sure he can see you arrange the food though, Oishii… unless you want him to turn into an actual dragon and burn your head off"

The master chef nods his head at Toph and bows in front of me before scrambling to the back-where the giant refrigerator's are and grabbing various food stuff from it.

"What are you doing here" I ask her, sitting awkwardly on the stool beside her.

"Making cookies" she mumbles, kneading the dough insistently. I watch as her small milky hands disappear in the grey stuff, pushing and pressing in a slow hypnotizing motion…

"I heard you broke some stuff this morning" she murmurs, her head tilted towards me and eyes twinkling. She grins a little, her small nose scrunching up.

"I was surprised they didn't send you up to put me in my place" I say softly, trying not to look back at her small hands working the dough with such determination and skill.

"Hey, I dealt with one of your tantrums already Sparky… you want to trash your room… go right ahead!" she laughs halting her alluring motion on the dough and reaching for small circular tin cylinders. "Uh, Oishii, do you mind cutting this up for me?"

"Yes, Lady Bei Fong" he murmurs, placing my sandwich in front of me and lifting the tray with the dough up and taking it back with him.

"I was badly behaved" I say softly. "I was horrible to her"

"Yeah well… "Toph huffs "That's what couples do right"

"I called her a deprived possum-vulture…"

Her mouth hangs open for a second before she bursts out laughing, gripping the countertop for support and sniggering away from me with her hair hiding her face completely.

"Oh man" she rasps. "I called her a scarecrow… but that… man that's better!"

"You called my fiancé a scarecrow?"

"Uh… she called me a wild child who fell haphazardly from the heavens into the Bei Fong house" she says, chin jutting out angrily and her eyes flashing with light over their milky green quality.

"Wait… what?" I ask, peering at her.

"With the whole _poison thing_" she whispers. "Well, I didn't point any fingers and I am almost certain if I were your… uhm, if I were _someone's _fiancé I wouldn't have them poisoned if I loved… _anyway_, it was a heat of the moment kind of thing. Katara… well, as you can see I am just trying to keep to myself"

"It's a tricky situation" I say softly.

"You called her a deprived…" she chuckles.

"I was not myself" I growl angrily, cutting her off.

"When are you ever!" she squeals with glee and laughs a little more. "You got to apologize! _Deprived…"_

"I… I meant, well… she badgers me about inconsequential things?"  
>"The only reason you <em>would<em> call her deprived and because she is _badgering you_ about _inconsequential things_…" she gasps, slapping the counter top and chuckling "is if she wanted sex"

"You left Uncle alone... I thought you would be with him… during the meetings" I stammer, picking at the remainder of my sandwich.

"Oh yeah... Subject change, nice strategy Fire Lord" she smirks. "Yeah… Iroh is a big boy you know… can hold his own pretty well. Besides… I wont be able to hold a serious face if people started calling each other monkey-rabbits!"

"That was one time…" I mumble.

"Man oh man!" she grins. "Best days of my life… minus the blowing up statues and incinerating empty cells, your depression and Uncles poisoning-uh, I mean stomach ache… damn this political jargon Katara stuffs my mouth with"

"Empty…" I hiss and then rise of the stool quickly, tugging her of off hers and almost toppling her in the process. I pull her away from the centre of the kitchen to a corner.

"Hey!" she hisses, snatching her arm back and glaring at me. "Do not man handle me! I don't want to give Mai another reason to hate me when I _end _you…"

"What do you mean empty cell" I hiss low to her, scanning the few body's feet away from us carefully.

"I mean 'null'" she says rolling her eyes. "Void of any activity or life. But you knew that already… you, Twinkletoes and Ice Princess"

"But how did you…"

"Uh… now how could _I-_Toph Bei Fong-know that" she huffs annoyed, pushing her hair violently to one side of her face and stomping her foot petulantly. "Blind earth bender with super hearing and magic feet that see through the ground not to mention a built in lie detector…"

"Uh…"

"Yeah, 'Uh'" she says frowning. "In other words… your secret is safe with your friend Toph… through all of this. Like I promised"

"Yes" I murmur, breathing freely. "Through all of this… you are here…"

"That brings me" she says softly. "What's with the need for training?"  
>"I promised Aang" I say, thanking Agni this was part of the truth.<p>

"Right" she says sceptically "Do you want some of my home made ginger-nuts Sparky?"  
>"Did you just call me nuts?"<p>

"No, I called you Sparky" she says, frowning again. "Have a cookie and you can be on your way to 'train'"

**XXXXXXXX~XXXXXXXXXXXXXX~**

Azula's fire bending teacher had been a terrifying emotionless man. Even as I walked through the corridors to my office were I had him summoned-he might have been there for the hour while I had been in the kitchen with Toph-I feel uneasy and nervous at seeing his face. I had attended his lesson's once before he said I was keeping Azula behind and needed a more patient understanding master-preferably a woman who could tolerate my inadequacies.

He was a master, one of the best I had heard once but that had soon changed with the times and years and broader selection of now noticeable talents… but what I needed from him was his cunningness in transforming good skill into superiority. I didn't need him to train me-I was a master too and ore than capable… I needed him to confirm to me the existence of a book… a book that I could alter my own skill from and be truly powerful.

The doors to my office are opened by the one guard and I see the back of his profile seated in the guest chair. Grey hair is sleek on his head and even from his seated position-I know I am taller than this one and who had reduced me to tears in my mothers arms once.

"Master Tazu" I murmur, withholding the moment I look upon his face as I sit in my giant chair. "I hope your wait was pleasant"

"Fire Lord" he says softly-the voice I had imagined to be powerful and booming absent-and looking up at me nervously.

He is thin as I remembered, face aged but stern still, his eyebrows a bushy mass over his eagle eyes-but that one quality he had possessed in my youth that made me think he would breathe fire upon my face if he sneezed near me-absent with the baritone voice.

"I received your personal request" he murmurs "And how honoured I was…"

"You taught my sister" I cut him my eyes still scanning him. How odd it is the things you feared in your youth… he squirms uneasily under my gaze and smiles-I had not thought he was capable of this back then-and reveals yellow dusty teeth.

"Yes" he says "Talented and Supreme the late Princess was… prodigy the world had never seen…"  
>"There is a book…" I whisper, still relentlessly staring at his face. "I heard off… that helps tremendously with ones fire bending…"<br>"Last I heard, Fire Lord Zuko…" he says, still smiling through his chapped lips "You were a formidable bender, a Master yourself"  
>"I want more Tazu" I say softly, looking at the bronze dragon statue on my desk. "It is a matter of life and death for my future… I am sure you are aware of the strange happenings in the palace"<p>

"I heard of…" he says uneasily. "The former General… but I saw him well and strong in the nation's untouched lands near my farm estate… leading the cabinet it was… for the respectable construction you are doing, Fire Lord… for our troops return. So Noble…"

"The book…" I stress closing my eyes

"Oh, the book…" he says, looking down at his lap. "I saw it limitedly from what Azula would desire to practice…"

"She never allowed for me to touch it and by the very time she requested I help her with the teachings in this ancient manuscript" he continues in a soft resonating tone "she was very much a master in her ability herself"  
>"Then why ask for your help" I whisper.<p>

"To monitor her forms as she trained" he says hoarsely. "She picked the forms... did not give me detailed but told me to monitor any change in her vitals and such…"

"So the book..?" I ask pleading him to continue with my eyes.

"I know she received it from Fire Lord… I mean the former, the recently departed…erm" he stammers his face glistening with sweat.

"Ozai… his name is Ozai… continue!" I demand

"Oh…oh…Ozai had it before her" he stuttered refusing to look me in the eye. "He had it and his talents were legendary but not quite like General Iroh's ingenuity when it came to…"  
>"We are talking of the book, man!"<p>

"Uh… the book really, I believe" he says thoughtfully "Is supposedly heavily guarded by the chosen scribes but with the recent upturn of things it may be lost if not …"  
>"You may leave" I growl, waving a hand to signify his dismissal.<p>

"Fire Lord…" he squeaks and hurries out.

I need to find the ancient manuscripts Azula and Ozai kept from me. The teachings that helped to improve their already formidable talents into near invincibility. Old drawings and writings of meditative methods that accompany the trainings and forms. The true secrets to charging your chi by fuelling through an exponential form of pure fuel _within _you to create an inferno… teachings that were banned and reserved for a select few and the Avatar.

Aang's past selves may know of it… when he is in the avatar state… his bending is unbelievable. Superior to anyone's… to Azula's or Ozai's. Those manuscripts that they had but never fully understood under their warped drive for power… those teachings would rival my bending to his…

Invincible.

No longer fearing these rat-dogs so much… no longer gazed upon with the memory of being disciplined by Ozai during an Agni Kai.

Those Manuscripts…

"Fire Lord…" a soft voice murmurs from the door. I turn and see her-Mi-standing still and small with wrapped up sheets and a giant bundle that must be my quilt.

"Mi…" I say softly, smiling a little and walking of the platform towards her. "Are those my new bedding…?"  
>"Yes, Fire Lord Zuko" she says shyly, blushing furiously again. I had never seen a woman blush so red…<p>

"I thought you said you would only have them done in days?" I chuckle, wishing she wouldn't look so terrified or was it _awkward_… the two were so alike…

"I took them to the best tailors…" she says smiling. "And begged them to hurry… You seemed to be very keen on the colour…"

"And if I may say, Fire Lord…" she says with a little more volume. "Without being too forward…"  
>"Go ahead" I whisper, bewildered by our dialogue and her unusual stance in the middle of the room. It felt odd…<p>

"I heard you weren't getting any sleep" she says softly, her voice husky … similar to how Toph's voice was, but not with the natural quality only Toph held… that delicate texture that remained in her clearness…

"And as my patriotic duty…"she says peering up at me from her short height and blushing again-so furiously-when are our eyes meet. " I felt if green bed sheets would help you sleep…"  
>"Then green bed sheets you bought me?" I finish, smiling a little and shifting uncomfortable from foot to foot.<p>

"Well… yes" she says, smiling more at ease. "And if there is anything else… you need… that could help you _sleep_…"

She pauses, walking over to the bed and placing the intricately wrapped large bundle of sewn cloth on top and returning in front of me-feet closer…

"Anything that I could do…" she croons, walking over to me. "… Fire Lord… to help you sleep…"

"Uh… what…?" I stammer, looking over t the door and back to her n utter confusion

"If there is _anything…_" she stresses, tugging at the string of her robe. "You need…" 

The string is loosened and the robe falls to the ground revealing her naked curved body in front of me and I swallow hard.

"All you have to do is ask" she whispers, walking over towards my stunned body-it felt like I was watching from outside as she held my gaze furiously… all her previous shyness evaporated. She tugged the draw string of my pants and pushed them down before kneeling before me. My heart hammered in my chest cruelly, eyes wide and unbelieving at what was playing out in front of me and my conscience begging me to regain control of my limbs… this was bad, this was poison and corruption and I should not be _reacting… _I should be in control… like with Mai.

_Tell her to stop, Zuko! This isn't…_

"It is my honoured duty to serve _you, Oh_ honourable _Fire Lord_" she purred small hands pushing me up and kneading… _small hands kneading_…before pale lips wrapped around me and sucked hard.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Yes, Fire Lord…" the old sage murmurs from beneath the large hood of the bright red cloak-voice low and deep. "It is true… the manuscripts exist…"

"I knew that already!" I say, removing the hood of my cloak from my head and moving into the shadows to remain hidden.

"The teachings are very complex" he stresses. "Your father and sister attempted them but they were wise enough to know when they were surpassed…"  
>"Not Azula" I say, shaking my head. "Not Ozai… they would <em>never <em>let some drawings and scribbles stop them from…"  
>"Not if these particular <em>drawings <em>and _scribbles… _Fire Lord" he says reproachfully but maintaining his place "could cost them their very lives"

"I know you are aware of this fact if you have gone to the trouble of learning of the ancient books existence!" he says "So you know to even attempt what you want to do… one has to be of peace and tranquillity. Your father and Azula-Agni receive them-did not even attempt three-quarters of what is in that book least they permanently harm…"  
>"What Fire Nation citizen and more specifically Fire Bender is of <em>peace <em>and _tranquillity_" I scoff, chuckling a little at the absurdness.

"Peace, Tranquillity and a rare pure fuel born in the very heart" he says softly… with reverence.

"Found in the heart…" I murmur. "You speak of the passion that every Fire Nation citizen supposedly has naturally… then it is settled. I will have the book and train…"  
>"There is more to the word passion…" he squirms indignantly.<p>

"The book old man" I huff impatiently.

"Your father passed it on to your sister" he whispers. "And as she is no longer with us in this mortal world… it is forever lost"

"I will have to find the rip in the air that leads to the spirit world and retrieve it" I sigh walking away from the shocked sage. "Speak to the sages and prepare… I will have the book and I will train. Whether you will me to do things in the traditional manner or not"

"You have to have mastered all forms of Fire… Lord Zuko!" he calls out. "You have to be patient in your quest…" 

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rains arrive over the Fire Nation under the transportation of a dark merciless sky. Stray light flashes through the sky followed by the reverberating sound of thunder… the lands will be cooled from the heat finally.

There is nothing but the rain around me, my body cooled in its unrelenting pouring, a hazy steam surrounding my body and the torrent caressing my skin in its natural power. Eyes closed and breathing steadied I counted backwards from ten.

Ten second till I reach up and grab the purest power denied to me.

Ten seconds as images of what I consider true, clear and calming flip easily through my minds eye and before I reach the last second… I see Toph's eyes as she walks into my chamber and gazes vacantly at me… standing before a kneeling Mi, my fingers tangled in her limp hair furiously. She is blind and yet my heart hammers under her eyes-mind screaming irrationally that she has in that second-that split second that I have… succumbed to _this_… Toph Bei Fong has been given the gift of sight and is bearing witness to my undoing…

"_Zuko…"_ her voice-oddly child like in that moment. _"Who are you with…? I bought you ginger-nut cookies?"_

The thunder roars and I reach up-roaring with it and fingers pull in a fierce magnetic attraction for it-for the lightning and as it rips through the air in a speed that I should not be able to comprehend… I hear her say she'll come back later, her lime large eyes gazing opaquely at me as I defile Mi's mouth… hands reaching out for her…

The lightning courses through my finger tips, ripping through my veins in a journey that should be smooth and silken but is jagged and turbulent instead. My arm is searing before the lightning even reaches my chest and the pain almost distracts me-I almost forget that the pain in my arm would be the least of my worries if the lightning doesn't exit… I pull through, readjusting my form and stretching my left hand up and pushing feebly with my chi to lead the exponential power out.

The image of Mi-a scared stupid ambitious girl-cowering beneath my rage as I throw her out of my bed chamber blends in with the vision of pain.

The sky lights up as the lightning leaves my left hands finger tips, narrowly missing my heart in its ruthless impulsive journey through my body and I collapse under the dark clouds. I meet the ground hard, body shaking and vibrating momentarily before my mind succumbs to the pain in my chest and arm, the cold rain beating down on me sadistically-beating the sin out and I close my eyes with no certainty of them ever opening.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wild heat crawled up my spine; hot lava mixed with nails and thorns ripping at the skin on my back as it slid down my spine. My head pounded furiously, mercilessly and increasingly with each second. I was on fire… burning in my mind… acid rain had rained down on me as I lay curled on the ground of my training ground for hours, moaning and shaking…

"Zuko…" Mai whispered intensely from somewhere near, terribly close… "Stay with me"  
>"Get his clothes off" Katara commanded. "He needs something dry…"<p>

Someone tugged my shirt up slowly and I flinched feebly when it came over my chest-where a stronger fiercer pain was radiating through my nerves, into my mind and out through my wounded groans.

"Oh god…" Mai gasped. "Katara he has a bad burn…"  
>"But his shirt has no burn marks…" Katara said, her voice hollow and strained.<p>

"Oh no" Katara murmured. "I've seen that burn before… when Azula…"  
>"It's lightning..." Mai whispered. "He was attacked!"<p>

A cool feeling enveloped the searing heat on my chest, moist and swirling and abating the pain.

"Lady Mai…" a deeper voice whispered. "The Avatar, the Honourable Lord Iroh and Lady Bei Fong are on their way with a doctor"

"Mai I need you to bring towels, blankets and dry clothes now!" Katara instructed and I felt the air move as Mai left my side. "He has a fever… I think pneumonia…" 

"Yes, of course…" Mai said her voice full of emotion and moisture. "Just… save him"

"The house of Tahatsu will be by his side through out" the unmistakeable voice of Lady Kuya Tahatsu says with reverence and grit-a deep monotone sound that resounded through my conscious, swirling with images of white blue energy firing through my fingers, the blurry sight of Mai's pale scared face crouched low over me and Toph Bei Fong retreating in a shuffling confusion out of my chamber.

"_Through all of this… you are here…"_

_Where was she…?_


	12. The Rip in the World

**THE RIP IN THE WORLD**

_Mans greatest battles are those that he fights with himself._

She had told me that her sages had arrived and where working with her to help my sister. She had said they were making some progress. She had looked at me-a little fear mixed with concern in her blue eyes-and asked me if I wanted similar help. A slight therapy session to help deal with things…

Deal with things. I didn't need to deal with anything; what I needed to do was deal with people. There was some sense in the Fire Lord's of olds ruling methods. There is sense in keeping a tight fist around the necks of your enemies… who says good and bad are different has a subjective mind. Bad can bring good. A little darkness can illuminate a few things…

Madness can be the purest form of sense.

"You need to take it easy, buddy" Aang murmurs before sighing heavily and shaking his head. "But I have to know Zuko… why… why lightning…?"

"Why not?" I whispered, peering at him through the haze of the medicine. He seems impossibly old, grey eyes not so large and innocent and he has let his hair grow out a bit. He looks like a man. I guess running around with Iroh and being exposed to the 'politics' of a nation so treacherous has dug up the hidden man in him…

"Because you could die" he hisses. "Because you are not stable…"  
>"Are you saying I am mad?" I ask grinning menacingly, daring him to add on to that…<p>

"I am saying you are unwell emotionally" he says softly but still sternly. "You lay in your bed weak and vulnerable of your own _self inflicted illness_ mumbling about magical fire bending manuscripts and of sin and defiled mouths…"

I blanch when he says this and look at the little pot plant by my table. A wild fire-lily. Uncle must have sent it…

"Mai wasn't too impressed when you apologised to her for being unfaithful…" he says smiling a little "And then called her Toph"

"What!" I shout backing up in bed and hitting my head on the large wooden head board.

"_I am so sorry about what I did… I didn't mean to hurt you"_ he says, mimicking my low grating voice comically. _"It… she just did it…. I am so sorry…"_

"_I didn't mean to hurt you_….Toph" he finishes, eyeing me with concern.

"I said that? I called her Toph…" I ask my voice hollow.

"Is there something you want to tell me about the matter…?" Aang whispers seriously. "Mai has not said it to anyone and seems to not think much of you mixing her name up with Toph's… it's lucky for you it was just Mai and I by your side while you thrashed about in delirium…"

"Toph…" I mumble uneasily "I don't know why I confused her name up and said…"

"Don't lie to me Zuko…" he says dangerously softly. "Toph hasn't been to see you… since the first night"

"I… she hasn't?"

"No…" he sighs. "But she is genuinely upset about things. Mostly angry at you for your _daftness_"

"She didn't say anything about…"  
>"About what?" Aang demands.<p>

"Anything about… _anything_?" I mutter, picking at the emerald lace of my pillow.

"Is there something going on…"

"No!" I hiss. "We are… she is a friend… like you and I! You amaze me Aang… you think I would be so shabby and…"

"I had to ask, Zuko" he sighs. "You are different with her"

"Whatever" I hiss.

"So you did have an affair with someone?" he asks.

"It just happened. She… the girl just… undressed and next thing I know she is kneeling on the floor and I couldn't… stop her so…"

"Right" he says, shaking his head.

"Don't think me a lout, please…" I whisper. "I didn't want to… I am sure I didn't, it just… I wasn't …"  
>"Yourself" he finishes, staring at the pillow in my hand. "Why green…?"<br>"Green?"

"Green, Zuko" he says, eyes raking my face suspiciously and picking the pillow from my hand.

"It… is calming. It is a calming colour…" I stammer.

"Right" he says again. "Your fever keeps returning, you managed to catch an infection… you are to stay in bed"

"I feel fine" I tell him angrily and scowl at the healthy flower in the pot plant. My side hurts and I am sure when the medication burns up I will be in pain…

"You're temperature is high…"  
>"I' m a fire bender…"<p>

"Zuko…" he sighs. "Stay in bed. Apologise to your fiancé. Stop throwing food on the floor… it's childish. The doctor says your body is washing out the infection so take it _easy_"

"Don't I always" I mutter, leaning back on to the continental pillow and watching his swift exit from my room.

_Xxx~xxxxxxxxxxx~xxxxxx_

_vcv_

"Oh yes Avatar" Iroh says thoughtfully. "I have no doubt that the returned troops have had a conference with some of the nobles"

"How bad could the damage be…?" Aang sighs grimacing at the memory of having to _discipline _a few of the fire nation soldiers to get them to understand that their dispatch from Earth Nation was nonnegotiable. He tried to wrap his head around their confusion… why thy thought they were allowed more time or possibly the decision had been revoked.

At one point he thought Zuko had caved under his cabinet and decided to let them stay. But the letter from Katara had alerted him to a few things… Zuko's hold as Fire Lord was loose. The new structure he had formed hastily and with good intentions was flawed and that vulnerability had been abused…

"Catastrophic" Iroh whispers. "I have… implemented change in the structure. Zuko is abrupt and hasty in his decisions… a good strategist none the less, but too impulsive. He should have consulted us… you and I… on the matter of giving his Nation a level of power for its own benefit. Those who are not born into power... well, things could have gotten messier"

"So things are under control?" Toph asks. She has been unseasonably quiet and irritable.

"No…" Iroh says heavily. "The only thing remedied is the matter of the throne and monarchy but even that needs time to be put down properly… the help of the sages is required"

"The problem lies" Iroh says slowly "In that Zuko should have been the first one to meet the soldiers. He should have gone with you Aang… there is no doubt they have been misinformed about the details of their return"

"We cannot look in to the past now" Aang sighs.

"I can feel it" Toph says softly. "A rebellion is around us… this is the calm before the storm"

"We saw that as a possibility before Zuko was even had his coronation!" Aang exclaims, rubbing his face.

"This is more than anything that could have been predicted" Iroh sighs. "He needs to get well… he needs clarity. I fear… I fear our very lives may be at stake even though the monarchy system has been returned. The right word from the wrong person could have the ignorance of the masses turn into a weapon of mass destruction"

"You should wait, Iroh… a little while longer" Toph asks carefully. "You should wait for him to be well and head the nation. You see so much more clearly than he does… his emotions rule him. His paranoia and obsessions bind him…"

"We will make the announcement" Aang says, standing. "For a year… the Fire Lord wishes to mourn properly but would have his nation conducted properly."

Xxxxx~xxxxxxxx~

"_Mai…" the woman whispers urgently and I think I can hear the sound of her moving through the air; thick fabric rustling in lustrous sound. A noble woman… I know her voice…_

"_Mother… he is ill, he needs peace and quiet" Mai sighs. "Not the sound of squabbling women…"_

"_He had an affair…" she hisses. "He isn't as innocent as you thought, stupid naïve girl… virgin Fire Lord my ass! He is as much a virgin as you are…"_

_There is silence for a moment except for the sounds of the garden birds chirping outside the balcony window and then I feel a weight on the bed, by my feet._

"_Don't sit on the bed, mother…"Mai hisses. "You will disturb him..."_

"_Don't worry, I had his dosage increased"_

"_What!"_

"_Your father said it was important Zuko didn't seem to be getting well…" she sighs. "It is better for Iroh to be in charge…"  
>"Zuko is the Fire Lord" Mai says indignantly. "Wasn't that all you wanted anyway…"<em>

"_Yes, my sweet stupid daughter…" she growls and rises from the bed. "But he won't be much use if he is dead…"_

"_It wasn't you who…"_

"_I know I am under suspicion from those damn cookies I bought from that idiot herbalist" Kuya hisses._

"_You didn't poison him" Mai whispers in relief._

"_Of course not!" Kuya shouts. "That would be counter productive… killing the Fire Lord before he marries my daughter…"_

"_So the cookies…?" Mai asks softly._

"_Had a strong aphrodisiac herb…" she sighs impatiently. "Hence the purpose of you going into his bed chamber to 'organise' his shirts…"_

"_But the poison…"_

"_Oh, it could be **anyone**" Kuya says softly. "He has stepped on a lot of toes with his childish temper…"_

"_Yes, his temper" Mai whispers. "He apologised later, he really meant it… even though he was delirious at the time…"_

"_I had the girl fired and sent back to her village" Kuya says smugly._

"_Under whose authority…"Mai asks her tone low and furious.  
>"Yours" Kuya finishes. "You need to start behaving like a bloody wife so there is no confusion… the water bender does more…"<em>

_There is silence yet again and I struggle to hold onto the little wisps of consciousness the medicine has allowed. Everything is heavy from my mind to my fingers-I can't move anything-do I even have fingers?_

"_You need to secure our future…" Kuya whispers. "You need to secure it before he succumbs to his family curse…"_

"_He isn't cursed!" Mai shouts and Kuya quickly shushes her. "He walks around with everyone expecting him to either turn into Ozai or… or…"_

"_Go insane like his sister. Cursed I tell you…" Kuya finishes dryly. "This is your opportunity to make sure you are always there for him, Mai. If you had done what I had told you to do"_

"_Mother…"she says quickly. _

"_To ensure he doesn't threaten your engagement" she coos. "To give him **incentive** and a little leash…"_

"_What are you saying…?"_

Xxxxxx~xxxxxxx~cxxxx

"You need to take your medicine Zuko" Mai whispers.

I watch her groggily as she takes a silver spatula and scoops up a mound of white powder from a clear glass tube and dips the powder in a glass of water. It sinks to the bottom of the glass slowly and when it lands its white substances billows through the water. She takes the spatula and whisks the powder into the water until any trace of its intrusion in the water is gone.

"This will help you sleep" she says bringing the glass to my lips. "You haven't slept since…"

"Mai…" I groan and as soon as my mouth parts the liquid slips over my dry lips and soaks the spongy feel in my throat I cough a little and pats my back.

"I forgive you Zuko" she says softly "I forgive you about that chamber maid… and I understand"

"You didn't want to desecrate our engagement" she whispers into my ear. "My mother doesn't understand it but I know… I know how good and pure you are… and I forgive you"

"Ngh…" the sound comes out of my mouth with effort as my mouth is filled with a stale numbing taste.

"I forgive you Zuko and I wont damage us-you were right, we should keep things sacred-but she is right too" Mai says her eyes glazing over with some recall "We need insurance… with everything that is happening. The Fire Nation royal family needs insurance…"

"I'll do it for us Zuko" she says seriously her cool long fingers holding my face to hers "And like I forgave you with that peasant whore… you will forgive me. Remember that…"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx~xxxx

She would know how to do it. She would know how to get past my imbalance to produce lightning… she had been born unbalanced and yet she had been a prodigy. She would know because of her mad genius…

She would know….

"Azula…"

"Fire Lord…" the other guard grumbles "Man… he is so out of it"

"Fire Lord…" the guard says hesitantly, looking over to his agitated partner. "We have been told that you are not to leave your…" 

"The Fire Nation Fire Lord…" I chuckle, swaying a little and failing to move my own limbs properly. "Has been put under bed-chamber arrest by _whose _high authority…?" 

"The General…" he mutters. "The former general… uh, the acting Fire Lord…"

"I am the _bloody_ Fire Lord..!" I shout, lurching forward uneasily at the man and he catches me before I topple us both over and steadies me.

"Let go damn you" I hiss, shoving his arm away. "I am leaving the bed chamber and going for a walk"  
>"But…" he whispers and I give him a lopsided grin at him.<p>

"We can accompany you, Fire Lord…" the other man says softly, like he is talking to a child.

"I don't need baby sitters!" I bellow and shuffle a little away from them. My head ways too much and my bones feel like some soft form of jelly. I saw all the vials and powder medicines by the side table…

"Fire Lord…" he says raising his hands to show he isn't a threat but I know better. They are all a threat… "At least… wait for…"

"I said I don't need…" I shout, flinging my arm in the air heavily, missing his face by inches but managing to scorch the wall.

"Okay" they repeat, backing away. "But Fire Lord…"

"What!" I slur swaying back again and steadying myself with the wall.

"Maybe… put a robe on?"

"Let's get you inside and into bed" he says over the lulling sound of medication singing to my mind.

_Let's keep him inside and wait for his end._

"Fire Lord Zuko…" he says again, reaching for my shoulder. I lunge, hitting him hard over the head with my fist-right on his temple and he drops hard on the floor with a hefty thud.

"Hey!" the last guard shouts and I spin kick him across the head too. He drops down besides his friend and as I land on the ground, I stagger uneasily backwards, swaying and struggling to remain rooted. It was easier to be in motion than at standstill…

"I just want…" I slur still swaying and searching for the wall in the dimness. "I just want to go to my sister…"

Xxxxxxx~xxxxxxx~xxxxxxxxxxx

"The Fire Nation was not part of any _victory_" Garza shouts fist waving emphatically in the air.

The hundreds of soldiers standing in the hall of the soldier's camp-built and designed by their Fire Lord for them-stand anxiously before him. They shift from foot to foot uneasily; they know the words this scrawny nobleman is spewing for them can be lethal. They know that this _victory of the earth nation_-because that is what they were told as they were lead onto the ship by their old war torn general's.

"_They call it world peace, lads" the hardened leaders had murmured on the long sailing from the earth nation lands with their farms and wealth. "I tell you… it's the Fire Nation's defeat. The empire we had built from these ground hogs is going to be stripped, our machines distributed and we will be left with nothing"_

"Yes" one soldier says softly, thinking of the terrifying road he will have to travel on to return to his nothing life after being a powerful lieutenant.

Garza smiles. "The young Prince has been… corrupted by the Avatar and Water Tribes. These two forces want revenge on us… they have sent spies into our nation to whisper into the young man's ears…"

The quiet hall comes to life with small murmurs and nods and Garza charges on.

"He has not had it easy…" He says sadly. "Our beloved Fire Lord's son…"

"The shamed General has him hidden away…" he shouts despairingly. "Locked away so he can have the chance to rule you and lead our nation into the hands of the Water Tribes and Earth Nation…"

"Traitors!" someone shouts.

"And I had thought that…" Garza sighs theatrically. "I had thought if we could get to the young prince, we could clean out the poison in his mind"

"We take the last heir of Sozin…" Garza roars. "We take him… and we protect him from their evils!"

He watches quietly as the hall erupts into a frenzied surge of adrenaline as the young men-so used to chaos-awaken at the note he has played for them. He gives them a little incentive to push over the barrier he would not have been able to on his own. Their generals paved the way for their easy persuasion with a little coin…

He watches in silence as the beauty plays out before him of the premier to the destruction of _Ozai's World._ How fitting it should happen in the capital-the previous New Ozai.

They will be the distraction he needs against the Avatar, Iroh and the Water tribe whelp. Failed assassination should only happen once. He got rid of the other two royals, would have almost disposed of the Avatar and Zuko if they had not had Agni smiling over them that particular night Fire Lord was still a boy and would pass wine…

But now, he could do it swiftly; Zuko and then Iroh. After that, it won't matter about the Avatar. The Fire Nation would be his…

Xxxxxx~xxxxxxxx~xxxxxxxX

The Fire Nation Royal family has a long history of paranoia. Its very structure and architecture speaks of an untrusting monarchy; the high walls and dark back corridors to the wide spacious halls with many panic rooms and emergency exits. Not even the royals know of every single hidden doorway and secret room.

But we know of the safest… it is engrained in us from a young age for our own protection. To know the strongest holds in our home-our palace. The reinforced secrets… were I have had her sent for her protection from the world and her own self threatening nature. Ozai… he was easier in his less imposing fireless ranting.

I need her…

My body hurts from their attack and nerves on fire from the shock of having my chi stopped. The damned medication Mai had piled into me… but I made it to her regardless. The invisible door opens and I spill in.

"How did you do it" I whisper dropping to the floor and bruising my knees. I peer up at her, squinting even though the room badly lit.

"You are stand here _baring _your soul for Fire Bending secrets!" she laughs shaking her head in disapproval. Her hair is an even greater mess-I can see this through my blurry vision-but there is _something._ Something is different. The room is tidy and she is dressed appropriately I think, her bed is made and there is an ornate lamp on the side table. Black scorches cover the pale wall behind her…

"The book…" I whisper, crawling over to her seat on the bed.

"You mean the lost teachings on powering chi through meditation to create…"  
>"The book, Azula!" I murmur licking my lips to get the numb sensation of off them.<p>

"Lost… possibly" she giggles, her hair shaking a little and eyes gleaming with amusement. "Are you drunk Zuko?"

"No!"

"Then you are high" she sings. "It is nice to see you loosen up… that Katara always makes you out to be half insane… like me!"

"You are…" I breathe, rising from the ground unsteadily. "Fully insane, Azula"

"Sanity" she says thoughtfully. "It is so overrated. You see… that is why we were_ born_ leaders Zuko. Only the insane can tolerate the sane"

"Lightning…" I say, swerving forward towards her unmoving form on the little bed and watching painfully as she blurs doubles and then solidifies into one Azula again.

"You want to learn from the book but you haven't mastered lightning" she says incredulously. "You come here drunk…"

"You know I don't drink" I hiss.

"Do I now…? You reinvent yourself so many times Zuzu" she says thoughtfully "Come closer brother… insult my eyes with your inebriated exposure…"

I shuffle from side to side into the dim light her little bed side lamp throws over the space and squint again.

"Where did you get the bruises from Zuko?" she asks in a hollow tone.

"Do you know…?" I laugh, waving my hand in the air. "Do you know that an idiot has armed my armies against me…!"

"Where did you get the bruises Zuko" she asks again seriously.

"And…" I sway again but this time I know I have fought it of for too long. I want to let go…

"Zuko?" she whispers before my legs give in, knees to weak and I fall to the ground freely.

Xxx~xxxxxxxxxx~xxX

"We have to go!" a voice cuts through the dark numbness. It's clear and low and slashes through the mental fog like a blade.

"What is happening?" Azula shouts. "There is something happening up there…"

"Shut up…" the mysterious voice huffs and I feel small arms tugging at me. "Is he naked?"

"He… wandered in here…" Azula says softly-her voice odd. Something is different… the hilt and quaver in her tone…

"He came in here all sweaty… rambling… brought me ginger-nut cookies" Azula whispers. "He says they want him dead… I told him they were treacherous"

"They are… " The woman whispers over the pulsing deafening in my ears. "There is a coup happening… and I have to get you out. I have to save you…"  
>"You would do that after everything" Azula asks.<p>

"For him… Azula" she growls. "You don't deserve it… but for him"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"_You have been drugged, Zuko" she whispers, hauling me anxiously over the ground. "Help me Azula"_

"_If you would but remove these magical bangles?" Azula asks her voice sweet and suspicious._

"_Go to the front, you can hold him up through your shackles" she whispers urgently. "Hurry!"_

_I am lifted with effort of the ground and I beginning to move through the air in a struggled wobbling pace. I can feel Azula's hot hands around my skin, threatening to sear me if not for the elemental shackles that restrict her bending._

_Five steps forward and they hesitate before she groans and anxiously tells Azula to put me down carefully._

"_He is so heavy!" the woman groans. "We need some sort of…"_

"_I think we are in the old secret library" Azula murmurs. "There must be a hidden doorway in the wall; there is a tunnel that leads to the ostrich-horse stables. It's a long stretch but…"_

_There is a loud bang and moments later the ground and walls shake._

"_We need a stretcher and I'll find this 'door'" she hisses._

"_We use the curtains…" Azula says walking away from me._

_I groan, trying to maintain control of my mind but in a few second… I welcome the darkness. The sound of the soldiers baying for my blood, the shaking floor and roar of war… it sends me of swiftly to a high I never knew was possible._

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"_I should help them…" she whispers. He voice sound like the ocean passing over clear sands._

"_If we go back… you will be able to do just that" Azula says. "If you free me…"_

_I pry my eyes open with great effort and all I see is the shadows of trees and brush whizzing past me as the woman keeps up a steady pace, her breathing levelled but determined._

_Her voice… her voice… it's the same voice from the kitchen laughing with me and instructing me on how to bake my little sister a cake... The voice that whispered to me softly in the darkness when I had woken up in my bed after a nightmare about dragons and Ozai...She had told me not to worry about father, she would protect me. _

"_I will always protect you" she had whispered._

"_Ursa…" I groan._

"_Zuko…" Azula says softly. _

"_It's her… mother!" I say._

"_Rest, Zuko" Ursa whispers. "Sleep"_

_I groan once more and close my eyes heavily._

"_He has bruises…" Azula murmurs. "And lightning burns… tell me what is happening…"_

"_He was ill…" mother says softly. "he was sick… got himself sick trying to bend lightning… obsessed with it I think..."_

"_He was ill…" she whispers again. For a moment it is quiet except for the sound of their feet moving through the brush and the soft sounds of the night._

"_He wanted to see you Azula" she continues._

"_Me… he wanted to see me…"_

"_Wandered out of his room… knocked some guards out…" she sighs. "Iroh found him with the Avatar and they had a scuffle. Palace was under attack so they had to leave him… Ty Lee had blocked his chi…"_

"_Oh" Azula says quietly._

"_And with all the chaos…he came out of it and continued on his trek" Ursa says " Of course I was the only one who remembered him with everything"_

"_We would be dead if you hadn't" Azula says softly._

"_For him only Azula" she repeats._

"_I get it" Azula snaps._

"_Don't **for**get it"_


	13. The Body is a Temple Prt 1

"Azula?"

"Zuzu…" she whispers from across me, behind the little camp fire.

I squint my eyes trying to capture some of the feeble light the poor camp fire provides in the dark night. She is sitting on a log in a sandy coloured baggy throw, her hair wild around her face and hands resting in her lap-still chained in the greenish elemental restraints. I can see the black iron links snaking from her shackled hands down and around her before they end nailed to the very log she is seated on.

She stares at me with wide confused eyes before doing something odd with her lips. They quirked up and stretched a little before she dropped the odd movement completely and opted for a small hand wave.

"Azula…?" I say again, sitting up from the ground and rubbing my eyes before looking back at her.

"Where is…?" I ask her looking around the small clearing.

"She went to look for food" she says in a small voice, playing with the black chain.

"In the dark…?" I ask searching the space around me for my clothes.

"Darkness or light" she yawns. "It's all the same to her isn't it…"  
>"Where are we… what happened" I asked, wrapping the raggedy cloth covering me tightly around my middle after failing to locate my clothing. "Why am I naked?"<p>

"Where… what… _why_" Azula yawned before rolling her eyes. "Everything… _everything_ that has happened past future and present, Zuko… was because of you. You are the catalyst… as always"

"Ursa…?"

"You seriously going to continue with _that_" she sneered, her previously placid face turning violent and angry in the blink of an eye. "Singing and moaning for _Ursa_"  
>"You know…" she said thoughtfully "You were beginning to irritate us both with that"<p>

"Where is she Azula!" I shouted, getting up from the lumpy mat, cloth clutched securely over my torso and glaring at Azula from behind the smoky haze the camp fire causes to drift between us.

"She who?" a voice asked from behind me.

"He is still crying for his mother" Azula said in a bored tone, turning her head to the side.

"Don't you mean _our _mother?" Toph asked emerging from behind me to stand at my side. "Zuko… you were ill and drugged. Could you cool it with the crazy sibling stuff…this is really not the time"

"My mother…" I whispered, looking at her-small, in her familiar beige pants and shirt and tugging a dead animal. "She was…"  
>"Uh… about that" Toph grumbled dropping the furry lump down on the hard ground indifferently. "I don't know if I should be flattered you confused me with your mother or seriously concerned…" <p>

"Of course" I sighed, grimacing and staring into the dark trees that surrounded us. "Delirium"

"It's been your dictum for _two _torturous days, Zuzu" Azula puffed irritably. "Whining about sin, begging for Ursa-I mean mother, and manuscripts of old"

"Zuko" Toph said seriously. "Do you remember how we got here?"

"Mother came…"

"No, Zuko…" she said softly, sitting on a rock near the fire. "I carried you out…"  
>"Uhm…" Azula murmured, waving her shackled hands in the air for attention. "You carried him out with whose help, little <em>blind<em> girl…?"  
>"And the palace was under attack by Garza and that General you dismissed" Toph continued ignoring Azula's huffing and grumbling.<p>

"And Aang…" I whispered as the little blurred slide shots fleeted quickly through my mind. "He… I hurt him?"

"Yes… when you wandered out of your chamber, and he was trying to talk to you..." she pauses, her hair falling over her face like a black wedding veil. Her breathing picks up and she shakes her head vehemently-in response to her own thoughts and groans almost in pain.

"Toph, what happened" I ask desperately my voice gruff and raw

"Aang, Iroh, Katara and I were trying to… stop you and…." She pauses again, turning her head up towards me and letting loose a hard breath. "It doesn't matter, Ty Lee stopped you… your chi"

"And then we got the call about the massive crowd banging at the palace gates" she breathed "and we left you alone and paralysed to deal with it but things got out of hand Zuko. The Fire Nation is split in two… We were trying to keep them out and away from you. They wanted you… it was all strategically planned… but in the end I knew if I didn't leave Aang and the rest of them you would be at risk Zuko" 

"There was no time to think…" she said intensely swallowing hard and small pale balled up hands shaking uncontrollably in her lap. "You weren't by the training grounds… I panicked and then I remembered you going on about Azula and I prayed you were there. And you were, Zuko… you were in the cell. Azula and I found the secret corridor that led through the stables and I rushed us away from everything. I left them… and I can only pray they are okay"

"Toph…" I whispered, watching as a small glistening liquid crystal slid down her white rose petal cheek and left a glittering trail in its wake. She wiped the singular tear violently and left her milk cheek coral and smarting.

"I left them and I don't know…" she growled, angry with herself.

"We have to go back" I whispered.

"No!" she shouted rising from the rock and charging towards me before stopping a few inches away away. "We can't… not right now!"

"She is right Zuko" Azula said, her eyes watching Toph with an odd and intense fascination. "If it is a rebellion… and if what the little girl says about your idiotic monarch changes… you returning would be the end."  
>"But uncle…" I cried.<p>

"He is a lot safer than you" Azula growled. "They tried to kill _me_ Zuzu…"

"I saved you"

"I know…" she said softly bowing her head and hiding her face. "You saved me"  
>"They tried to kill Ozai and Azula" Toph said seriously, pacing in front of the fire "They tried to get rid of you and Aang…"<p>

"No they didn't..?" I said watching her angry pacing.

"They did… the wine… it was meant for Aang and you" she said before pausing her pacing and grinning at me "But luckily you're both nuns"

"Don't you mean monks" Azula asked.

"No, I'm pretty sure I mean nuns" Toph said pushing her hair away from her face-revealing her eyes-and winking at me.

"But the Palace…!"

"Zuko… you need to let them think they won" Azula murmured. "You need to go through with mastering lightning…"  
>"No, you need to stop playing with Fire!" Toph growled. "I mean lightning… argh, you almost killed yourself the last time and I thought it was my fault…"<p>

"Ignoring the misguided infatuation…" Azula said frowning.

"What!" Toph and I said simultaneously. I refused to look at her even though I knew she wouldn't know if I did… the memory of her walking in on my weakest most disgraceful moment etched in my mind.

"He needs to be at his strongest…" Azula said dismissing our uncomfortable squirming, her eyes gazing at the fire hungrily and with lethal calculation. "Iroh… he can handle treachery… he is one after…"

"Iroh is noble and strong" Toph growled "Iroh can _handle _treachery and vileness… he has the most gifted masters with him and…"  
>"and while he is doing Zuko's job for him" Azula cut in "Zuko can…" <p>

"Why should I trust you Azula?" I whispered holding her shocked eyes with my own suspicious ones. "Why should I not suspect you to be with Garza and Fang on this…"

"They tried to kill me Bozo!" she snarled

"They were with you and Ozai during your dark reign…" I countered, walking around the fire to her chained position.

"They were not too impressed when Ozai named me the new Fire Lord" she murmured glaring angrily at the fire.

"They are not with Azula, Zuko" Toph sighed. "They want to exterminate the royal family to bring forth a new one… isn't that obvious or are you still drugged up and delirious"  
>"Drugged up and delirious" Azula mumbled.<p>

"Everything I have been working towards…" I sighed, sitting on Azula's log dejectedly.

"I'm hungry" Azula said dismissing my self pity. "What is that thing you brought…?"  
>"I don't know" Toph said kicking the dead animal curiously.<p>

"You just killed an animal you didn't know…" Azula grumbled. "And you expect us to eat it…"

"I don't expect you to do anything but shut up, Witchy" Toph muttered, hauling the thing closer to the fire. "Zuko… what is it? Is it edible…?"  
>"An Elk of sorts" I said half interested. I had dreamt of waking up and seeing my mother for so long and after waking from my little coma it felt possible. It felt real… how had I thought it was Toph? how had I mistaken Mai for Toph?<p>

_Because you are always thinking about Toph _a small voice grumbled.

My empire, my legacy… and redemption…everything is crumbling down…

"Zuko!" Toph roared by my ear causing me to jump and topple backwards of off the log, the cloth conveniently snagged on the rough bark and the sound of Azula's chortling serenading my embarrassment.

"The animal…" she huffed her murky green eyes gazing angrily at my naked squirming form on the ground, I tried to pull the cloth from the log but it was stuck… "You're the sword boy so _you_ have to _skin _the _thing_"

"This would be the third time you have _exposed _yourself to me Zuzu" Azula rasped reaching over with her bound hands and tugging the cloth free from the splintered bark. "I'm going to have to burn it off the fourth time though…"

"I don't have my duo blades" I grumbled, refusing to look at Azula and hastily wrapping myself up again.

"They are over there by the mat" Toph sighed, prodding the flames with a stick and bringing the end of the flaming stick close to her face curiously. "The only thing strapped on your body, apparently"

"Our little nudist Fire Lord" Azula sang. "Now hurry up and feed me! I'm starved…."

Xx~xxx~xX

"We have to move…"Toph sighed. "We have to go deeper into the forest…"

"What we have to do is find a temple" Azula said, ripping through her meat awkwardly as a result of bound hands.

"A temple for _what!_"Toph hissed.

"For me…" Azula murmured "It's nice… healing. It's nice…. Having hope"  
>"Katara's therapy working then?" I asked her, watching her pensive gaze rake over the oranges flames with that hunger. A hunger to feel the heat of fire around ones hand…<p>

"Yes" she breathed looking up at me after a beat and smiling a little. "You muttering about Ursa didn't help it though"  
>"It wouldn't if you felt guilt about it" I whispered. "If there was something about it that bothered you…"<br>"Besides her looking at me like a monster?" she asked, an eyebrow arching in question.

"You didn't care about it so much then" I told her throwing the burn meat in the fire.

"Because being a monster wasn't a bad thing to everyone then" she whispered. "Being _luminous_…"

She lifted her head up high, eyes still on the dwindling flames and burning with a past inferno of erroneous glory.

"…being _brilliant_" she said softly, almost moaning the word with a sort of sick pleasure. "It made me the apple of everyone's eye and after that-who needs the love of a weak mother and naïve brother?"

"After that little Bi Polar confession…" Toph said sniffing her piece of meat before plopping it her mouth and chewing hard. "Definitely taking the deranged witch to a healing sanctuary"

"And of me?" I asked her still hypnotized by Azula's twisted beauty and innocent evil.

"Ahhh…" Toph stammered shaking her head so her hair fanned out around her. "Whoa there twisted siblings… I am not the leader here!"

"Then take the shackles off and I can do what is in my birth right and…"

"And screw us over" Toph finished.

"How will I do that?" Azula screamed rising off the log and tugging at the nailed chains angrily. "Screw you over and run to _whom?"_

"Oh, I don't know go to some disgraceful…"Toph shouted waving a hand in the air

"_Father?_" Azula asked hysterically. "He is probably dead now, locked up and discovered by former vermin…."

"My father Toph" I asked quickly cutting their arguing. "Where… what…"

"_Why!"_ Azula finished, dropping back on her log in annoyance. "Predictable Flashing Virgin Fire Lord…"  
>"He was moved when you were ill" Toph murmured. "I heard Katara speaking with her sages… to move him off of the island; he was at risk and simultaneously a threat if the uprising was real… at the time"<p>

"So… I have to go and…" I said thinking of a million possible ways I could be captured by anti-Royal Fire Nation rebels…

"No" Toph said strongly. "You and I are not splitting up…"

"Don't you mean 'we'?"Azula huffed rolling her eyes.

"We…" Toph grumbled waving her hand dismissively in Azula's direction "You, me and her Witchness over there"

"So we find a temple for my sister…" I asked Toph and she nodded once "And then we…"

"And then we wait for Azula to get better and head out for a different kind of temple that has the original fire bending manuscripts" Azula said yawning widely.

"But you and Ozai…!" I hissed.

"Those sages and old monks would never release _that_!" she laughed. "You know so little of anything Zuzu… that particular book is very heavily guarded. The one in the Fire Nation Royal families possession is about one quarter of the original book-edited and copied after a heavy coin price was paid to the greedy…"  
>"Lets get some sleep and we'll head to the mental asylum first thing in the morning" Toph said stomping her foot on the ground and crawling into her little rock hut the moment it emerges.<p>

"Zuko…" Azula murmured sitting on the ground by her log. "I am glad… I am glad you… saved me. Us... father and…"

"Yes" I breathed heavily.

"You are my brother…" she whispered leaning back on the log and watching me from across "And I am… I am here for you. Only you"

"Oh… okay"

"But I will hurt your little blind girlfriend if she cuts me while I am talking one more time…"  
>"Go to sleep!" Toph roared.<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE: right, new adventure! No worry, mention of Ursa was a little head nod into future happenings. Started weaving in how Zuko and Mai got together now. Did Mai do it or not… she does say she doesn't want to 'defile' her relationship with Zuko… but she is under pressure at the same time… oh boy. Complications huh.**

**REMBER TO REVIEW THOUGHTS SUGGESTIONS AND DISLIKES BEFORE JUMPING INTO BED OR RETURNING TO YOUR VARIOUS ACTIVITIES!**


	14. The Body is a Temple Prt 2

**The Body is a Temple: Rocking The Boat**

"I don't think you understand what I am saying to you" Azula huffs, tugging at her chains while Toph tugs in the opposing direction.

"Because I can't exactly trust anything that comes out of your mouth!" Toph growls pulling hard and causing Azula to lurch forward before she manages to steady herself and her and Toph begin a sort of tug of war with her black chain.

"Could you stop" I grumble stopping my slashing through the vegetation. "Toph… you're worse with her than Katara…"  
>"Only because I am not easily bullied by little blind girls" Azula hisses<p>

"Well I think it's because you both have brilliant minds and similar personalities" I sigh, hacking in frustration at a particularly thick vine. There is a moment of silence…

"What!" Azula and Toph shout and I turn around to see Toph release the chain and Azula topple backwards as the tension is released, on her bottom with a low grunt.

"Are you saying I am evil…"Toph asks stomping towards me.

"I… what?"

"Are you saying I am boyish?" Azula shouts rising from the ground and dusting her bottom.

"I…" I stare at them both-formidable whether furious or not-and wonder briefly if this is the moment they decide to be comrades in their unity against me.

"We had better keep moving" I say unsteadily turning around to resume my plant, weed and vine slashing.

"I don't even know what your issue is" Toph mutters to Azula. They have been at it for an hour-shouting and hissing at each other like wild panther-cats and now their voices are low and raspy( thank Agni!).

"With what now?" Azula asks and I hear the irritable clanking of her chain fro behind. "You being Zuko and my self's last resort…"

"The blindness" Toph sighs theatrically. "You keep calling me a little blind girl!"

"You are smaller than I am" Azula says thoughtfully. "You are blind... and a girl"

"Argh!" Toph gasps walking quickly to catch up to me and tugging a stumbling Azula mercilessly by her chain. "Your sister is true evil! I should have left her… why did I bring her…?"

"Because I share blood with _your_ Zuko" Azula sang and Toph yanked the chain hard again causing my sister to fall flat on the ground.

"Toph…"I sighed, storing my blades back to their strap on my bare back. "Could you be a little…?"  
>"More tender" Azula huffed rising from the ground and wiping her hands free of dirt and twigs. "A little less manly and show some flesh"<p>

"Shut up Azula!" I breathed. "Just… we need to move fast. Less falling and stumbling would help that along"

"She gets under my skin" Toph said through clenched teeth gripping the chain tightly till her knuckles were a scary white colour.

"So does Zuko but I don't see you punching hi-" Azula began but Toph pulled hard on the chain again and sent her back down with a heavy thud.

"Bitch!"Azula growled and I pried Toph's fingers carefully open and took the chain.

"How about we take a five minute break…" I whispered to her as she began trembling with anger. "My arms are a little sore and this cloth wrapper is very emasculating"

"Toph having more muscle definition is to blame for _that_" Azula grumbled, stretched her legs outon the vine covered ground.

Xx~xx~xX

"We get to the shore and then what?" Toph mumbled. She had been pouting and huffing most of the journey.

"Then we build a boat and sail across to ancient uncharted lands" Azula whispered rolling her eyes. "What is your aversion with water… don't you bathe or something…?"

"She sees through the ground" I said softly, watching Toph's frustrated expression turning two shades angrier. "She wont be able to see when we travel by water…"

"Tell her anymore Sparky" Toph grumbled "And you might as well build me a casket and sail on that"

"Little Ms Tough can't swim can she" Azula cooed. "Well, you better keep the chain yanking to a bare minimum less the boat turns over and you need to be saved…"

"You won't be able to do much shackled…"Toph grinned.

"Then I'll take you down with me…" Azula hissed.

"No one is going to drown" I sighed. "Firstly, there isn't a boat built yet and secondly… we are a team"

"Azula is the mascot of doom for this…" Toph murmured, smiling to herself.

"Azula is all powerful and will singe that unruly black hair of yours right of your little dandruff infested scalp the moment she gets her hands free…." Azula roared her eyes taking on that far away look when she is overcome by her _condition_.  
>"And the true reason to your wanting to go to temple is revealed" Toph gasped theatrically. "You just want the elemental shackles off because you know I would never do it…"<p>

"Quit it" I gasped. "We have to keep moving… we need to get there, build a raft and sail out in the night for cover"

"Yes, Fire Lord" Azula sneered. "Take over _my _plan and share it with this little earth urchin…"

Xx~xx~xX

"I am not getting onto that" Azula states eyeing my make shift raft suspiciously.

"Fine…" I huff "Then wait on that rock for murderous extremists to find you…"

"You would leave me alone on this decrepit beach shackled, Zuzu?" she whispers her eyes large and sad.

"I…" I mumble.

"Oh god!" Toph shouts stomping out of the encroaching trees "One minute you are a fearful Fire Lord and the next minute your as terrifying as a kitten-mouse…!"

"They have really sharp claws" Azula says seriously.

"If she had you alone, you would have set her free and _you'd _have been the one shackled" Toph says poking my bare chest

"And if she had had you alone" Azula counters, rising of her little rock chair gracefully and smiling sinisterly "You'd be flat on your back, hands bound, cloth ripped of your body and she'd be…"

"Shut up!" I scream, wheeling away from them and pulling my hair by the roots. "Both of you…!"

Azula stares at me bemused while Toph digs her toes in the rocky sand, lower lip jutting out and hands secured behind her back.

"No one is remaining" I say to them, shocked at their silence and the fact that they have finally listened to me. "No matter whether you can swim or not… shackled or bound… everyone is getting on that raft that I have spent hours constructing and sitting tight!"

"I wish you had flying bison right about now" Toph mumbles sulkily.

"Well I don't" I shout but they have decided to ignore my tantrum now.

"Drowning on Zuko's little raft or plummeting to ones death from a puny boy-Avatar's mangy bison" Azula says thoughtfully. "Blind girl… we have reached an impasse"

"Here is a brain teaser" I hiss at them both. "Remaining on this island and having a bunch of deranged ignorant and _deprived _soldier rebels find you sun burnt and half naked?"

"Lead the way Sparky!" Toph commands marching ahead anyway towards the coast-feet off from where my raft is.

"Toph… can't you see?" I ask.

"I am _blind!"_ she shouts and stops moving "And this is loose sand… I can barely see and this heat…"

"At least build a shade on your _pathetic _raft Zuko" Azula sighs sitting back down on the rock and fanning herself with a banana-coconut palm leaf.

"I wonder if Aang had to endure this when he was running from me" I mumble to myself, picking up the heavy log.

"Less talk and more building!" Azula shouts.

"And yes…" Toph whispers from her position on the ground sprawled and sweating "We made him build a shade on Appa"

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you know of any temples…" I ask Azula and she shrugs.

"No, they are mostly hidden. We will need a guide" she sighs, dipping her foot into the clear blue waters and staring out to the setting sun.

I don't care how many times she and Toph complain… after staying in the shadows of that horrid dry beach for an added few days –I successfully turned my raft into a workable boat with a little shade hut all while dealing with Toph's increasing foul mood and Azula's whining that I return her to her 'cosy cell' so she can die in 'peace' rather than torture her to death on this island with my gremlin girlfriend and oyster-crabs.

The boat is steady, it's filled with resources and I was careful not to overload or under stock. Little coconut-banana containers of fresh water float freely at the sides with our additional water supplies and the shade is stocked with dried fruit, dried eat and smoked oyster-crabs.

Toph sits quietly in the shade-hut her face a sort of milky green colour and lips set in a hard line. She is clutching the beam that holds the little structure up tightly and her legs are wrapped around it. The hem of her now dirty beige shirt has been torn a good few inches thick and the piece of cloth from it wrapped like a band around her hair to keep her thick hair away from her face so she doesn't heat up. This leaves her smooth stomach exposed…

"How is Mai?" Azula asks startling me and grinning when I jump a little and cause the boat to dip and Toph to groan in fear.

"Mai…?"

"Mai…?" she says slowly. "My disloyal playmate… your stick girlfriend…"

Toph snickers at this.

"My fiancé" I whisper looking out at the expanse of water laid out before us.

"She proposed then?" Azula asks and Toph out and out laughs this time.

"Uh… we agreed to it" I mumble self conscious.

"Hmm" she murmurs and goes silent.

"What do you mean "Hmm"!" I demand, glaring at her.

"I mean…" she breathes closing her eyes "Hmm"

"Argh!"

"Temper Zuko" Azula chastises "I bet you it's what got us here"  
>"You have just won a bet, Witchy" Toph murmurs from the shadows of the shade.<p>

"My temper made soldiers rebel and old men get greedy?" I ask sardonically.

"If we had the time I am sure we could prove there is a direct link" Azula retorts petulantly, pursing her dry lips.

"You are mad"

"Tell me something I don't know brother" she laughs.

"You are both twist.." Toph begins but then her eyes go wide, cheeks turning a definite green and she lurches forward.

"She is about to puke" Azula says calmly-indifferently. "You better hurry and push her over the boat"

"What?" I hiss releasing the oars.

"I meant lead her to the edge so she can hurl" she sighs. "So touchy about your urchin"

Xx~xx~xX

"Is it night time?" Toph asks, braving the calmly drifting boat and peering out of the hut.

"Oh Agni, the blind girl is scared of the dark" Azula mutters rolling her eyes. "The irony…"

"yes, Toph…" I say watching her with concern as she timidly holds the edge of the boat and sits by the entrance of what can only be called 'her' hut.

"My Grandma used to tell me of how wild and dangerous the sea got in the night time" she whispers, gripping the edge tightly.

"Luckily we are on Zuko's formidable straw raft…" Azula murmurs and Toph blanches.

"Toph…" I tell her seriously, pausing my rowing against the waves. If only Katara were with us to make the waters easier. "I won't let anything happen to you…"

"Yes, Zuko wouldn't do _that_" Azula chuckles. "He wouldn't let the deadly sea monsters snatch you up and gorge on you or the unstable fierce twenty feet tall waves knock the boat over and send you hurtling to the bottom of the ocean…"

"Azula…!" I groan and watch sadly as Toph quickly retreats back into her hut closing the leafy curtain behind her.

"What?" she asks innocently.

"Was that necessary?"

"You really shouldn't make promises Zuko" she says disappointedly "Those things really could happen and then what?"

"And then I would do my best…" I breathe rowing with new found strength in my anger

"_Your_ best at getting yourself killed along with her" Azula responds. "There she is… going down with the green sea monster and you are swimming to save her and when the monster is done chewing her up and decides it really isn't satisfied by our two feet tall blind beautiful damsel… guess what?"

"What?" Toph asks softly from inside the hut

"It gobbles an idiot Fire Lord that swam after it, for dessert!"

"It won't matter because…" I huff

"Because honour blah, blah" Azula mutters. "My point… honour is like the idiot Fire Lord, diving to its death for nothing"

"Toph isn't _nothing_…!" I shout, my old anger from my dazed days emerging full force.

"So she is _something_…" Azula asks her eyebrows raised.

"I…" I stammer as I realised I am caught up in Azula's old form of entertaining herself at my expense. "She is a friend… something I pray you learn about"

"I am not being dragged to my death by a sea monster as yet" Toph grumbles weakly "So can you two shut up so I can _pretend_ to sleep peacefully?"

"Goodnight sweat pea" Azula sings.

"Don't you mean 'sweet pea'?" I ask.

"No, sweat pea" she grins. "Now shut up so I can _pretend_ to be pensive…"

"One can only wonder what _you _think about" I mutter.

"Destroying lives probably and drowning bear-puppies" Toph responds snickering

"Well I know what the two of you think about" Azula grins menacingly not bothering to open her eyes.

"What, no witty comebacks?" she asks after Toph and I both go deathly quiet. "Or are you two _thinking_…"

**AUTHORS NOTE and RESPONSES: remember to review guys, no ghost readers…!**


	15. The Body is a Temple Prt 3

**THE BODY IS A TEMPLE: Rain drops keep falling on my head**

I haven't been able to see so clearly in a while; to understand all the simple confusion that had surrounded me on the royal grounds, to see the death trap I had willingly walked into or the fact that just maybe I hadn't been ready for this. I wasn't like Aang-with his continuous support from the _whole world_, loving and loyal girlfriend, dead wise men whispering knowledge to him and confidence that he was loved and could love back just as easily…

I had rushed into it, fought against it and forced it till it had broken me.

It felt like I had not been myself, like there had been some unknown oppressor confining me to the misery of my own mind and my eyes had become clouded to the world. Seeing forms in dissimilating quality and knowing there was a danger near me and swinging my fists randomly in the dark-praying I struck something because I needed a tangible thing to blame and hold accountable for my loss of control.

"I don't like those clouds" Azula whispers her head tilted slightly up and eyes gazing bored at two little puffy clouds in the sky.

"Show me a cloud you do like…" I grumbled. My arms were tired from rowing, my stomach grumbling and Toph hadn't come out of the shade yet…

"You have a beard?" Azula asked.

"I do…" I sighed, releasing the oars and feeling my face. I made contact with a rough hairy jaw and I sighed again.

"How do I look?" I asked her.

"It's not like there is anyone here to _see _your manly face and appreciate it" she laughed.

"You need to stop that…" I hissed stretching my arms out.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"You know very well what!"

"So you're engaged to Mai huh" she said instead, shaking her head disapprovingly. "I bet Kuya is pleased about that…! she was always most eager to climb in ranking…"  
>"It wont matter now" I whispered.<p>

"Yeah…" she sighed in agreement. "They probably think we are dead or worse…"  
>"What could be worse than death?"<p>

"This" she huffed, glaring angrily at the clear sea before us.

"Living in chaos as always?"  
>"No" she laughed. "Being on sea on this little paper boat"<p>

"Try being completely blind on an unstable boat, no offence Zuko" Toph grumbled emerging from behind the leafy blinds of the shade-hut. "What's for lunch…?"

"I guess… dried fruit?" I sighed.

"I'm going to loose weight at this rate!" Toph huffed disappearing back into the shade and returning with wrapped up fruit.

"It would be an improvement" Azula murmurs. "Your butt is huge…!"

"Is that the best you got witchy?" Toph growled, flinging Azula's fruit lunch in her face "insult my aesthetics when I can't see them to even care?"

"It's too hot for this" Azula grumbled, picking her food up

"I smell rain" Toph mumbled her mouth full of food.

"Sky is clear Toph" I said smiling a little as she chewed her fruit angrily-she looked like she was trying to maim her coconut-banana. "Except for two clouds Azula hates"  
>"I see two more weightless things I hate" Azula murmured.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

Two clouds turned into four before multiplying into a mass of milky grey fluff above us. The temperature dropped and the waves moved calmly and lethargically beneath the boat. Azula and Toph had been unnaturally quiet and pensive and occasionally offered me food or death-for my efforts in rowing and for apparently bringing them to this point.

"I have a bad feeling…" Azula said softly, playing with a twisted lock of her dirty hair.

"Said the evil insane Princess" Toph finished snickering before plopping another piece of mango-berry into her mouth. She had been nibbling for a good two hours straight and ignoring Azula's complaints that she was going to eat us out of provisions.

"Its calm" I told Azula, smiling in what I hoped to be a reassuring manner but she just frowned back at me. "It's safe… we escaped and I am sure by morning we will come across land. Off the main lands there is an archipelago… if I remember from Father's map…"

"There are many archipelago's off the main lands, dimwit" Azula grumbled. "Some of which are renowned for being dangerous and hostile environments…"

"Can we eat this Archipelago?" Toph asked frowning impatiently.

"Clusters of Islands" I told Toph "The Fire Nation is surrounded by many…"

"We have run out of conversation, I know" Azula interrupted me. "But I don't want to hear a geography lesson"

"So we will definitely find land soon?" Toph asked hopefully smiling for what seemed the first time in a decade.

"Ye… uh, Yes" I said roughly, before clearing my throat uncomfortably as she continued to beam at me-or in my general direction.

"Good!" she breathed freely. "Because I so need to poop from eating all this roughage"

Xx~xx~xX

"Did it ever occur to you two that I might want to be dry too?" I huffed, peering through the hazy rain at Toph and Azula's uncomfortable hostile huddling under the cramped shade.

"Did it ever occur to you to build a bigger shade thingy?" Azula countered and Toph giggled and I swear Azula smiled a little to that.

"Besides, my hair will get wet" Azula sighed theatrically, flipping her hair at me childishly.

"It's not like there is anyone here to appreciate it" I mumbled petulantly, pushing my own unruly hair back violently.

"Wet and clean" Toph murmured. "Smells like a musty rag in here thanks to her Unkeptness"

"Like you are the shining hope of all things clean and proper" Azula growled low, jabbing Toph violently in the ribs.

"I am not the one growing wild and free dreadlocks!"Toph hissed, leaning away from Azula so her cheek wasn't brushing against her hair and tugging at a matted lock of Azula's hair and rolling it in her fingers.

"We are all _unkept_" I sighed although at this point Toph somehow maintained lustrous hair even if it had lost its straightness long after the dreadful Phoenix King's Fall Celebration-when it had been straight, thick, black and shiny… her skin clear and smooth and she had worn a black and green simple and elegant gown that managed to fit her curved form like a second skin…

"Stop staring Sparky, so I look like an _urchin_…!" Toph roared while Azula bowled over in abundant glee.

Thunder roared simultaneously with Toph's annoyed huff and the rain began pouring with new found fervour and the waves woke up fro their comma in steadily increasing pushes and pulls.

"And I shall repeat…"Azula shouted over the sound of the irritable sea. "I have a bad feeling…"

"Help me with the oars Toph" I shouted turning around to tend to the wooden paddles.

"Toph?" I shouted after ten seconds of no movement from the shade.

"Like hell…!" she screamed back and I could vaguely see her outline gripping Azula for dear life while Azula attempted to fight of her terrified embrace. The boat began to rock and sway haphazardly with each push the increasingly volatile the waves gave and the air suddenly became exceptionally hard to breathe in.

Lightning flashed across the sky and my heart began to thud frantically, sweat mingling with the rain, my eyes squinting and narrowing and mouth dry. The lightning… flashing hot white across the grey sky fiercely and reaching into my heart…

"Zuko!"Azula growled when I bumped into her after pushing myself violently and blindly from the other end of the boat in fear towards the shed. "Get off of me!"  
>"I… my heart…" I hissed swallowing hard, hand clutching the burning scar on my chest and trying to see through the thick sheet of rain and misty smoke-air.<p>

"Zuko!" Azula shouted pushing me again awkwardly with her bound hands.

"It's the lightning…"Toph murmured her voice queasy and huskier. "You are not having a heart attack…!"

"You idiot!" Azula shouted in my ear. "The oars…!"

"What is happening!"Toph screamed and I tried to get up but Azula knocked me back straight into Toph before rushing to the other end of the boat. I felt Toph's hands-small and cold-immediately wrap around me and lock in front of my chest.

A deafening bang filled my ears; the sky went black, the waves thrashing wildly beneath the boat and wind roaring mercilessly for our blood. Who would have known that the true rebellion would come from nature herself?

"Toph, you have to let me go!" I commanded reaching for her cool hands locked right over the smarting scar on my chest. They felt small and too soft… how was she holding on so tight? I tried to pry them open but their small velvety quality terrified me; it was as though they would break easily if I applied any more strength…

"Zuko!" Azula screamed and in the darkness, lightning flashed again and her form was visible momentarily in front of the white blazed screen; her shackled hands working the one oar furiously and hair wild and stringy in the wind.

Behind the sound of the wild sea, on the very skin of my bareback-I could feel Toph's thudding heart, beating insistently behind her chest and causing her chest… to heave in subsequent breaths, brushing against me through her rough cotton shirt…

"Zuko, I swear on Agni's holy ass…!"

"Toph, _please_" I groaned grabbing her hand in my hot one and pulling it away before securing her hands on the steady pole. "Just… stay calm"

Thunder, a flash of white and Toph's terrified opaque emerald eyes staring blankly up at me for a brief second.

"Zuzu…!" Azula cried and I grabbed her arm and pushed her behind me.

"Get inside with Toph" I ordered taking the oar from her.

It was useless… we could do nothing with one oar… I looked up at the dark hidden skies just in time to see the massive wall of dark grey-cobalt water retract and rise formidably behind the hut-shade roof. It seemed to grow and grow and in front of it, oblivious to the monstrous liquid behind them; Azula and Toph's silhouettes gripped furiously at the pole centred in the middle of the hut-the pole that held up the triangular roof of the little shelter.

The water descended upon us in a crushing mass of cold as I rushed forward to the two people in the world that somehow had found me in the darkness.

Xx~xx~xX

Through the darkness I fought wildly, pushing my limbs out and lungs working over time. I battled with the water, my elements natural enemy and splayed my hands open for contact-for the feel of one cool hand and another that resembled my own heated temperature. The oceans ceiling was uncharted territory, my understanding of up or down thwarted by the continuous tumbling and turning the velocity filled waters caused.

Fingers splayed open and waiting… I couldn't fail them… she couldn't swim and she was bound by those elemental shackles… I couldn't fail them… not them…

But I had failed my self.

Xx~xx~xX

_The summer fields where a rich vibrant green colour, sprinkled with red-crimson fire lilies and coral and pale jade lotus flowers mingling together and moving freely in the cool air. The sun was clear and shining down innocently on the little piece of peace with a soft warm kiss that made the flowers rise to the heavens in naive trust._

_So beautiful a place…_

"_Zuko?"_

"_What a beautiful place" I whispered._

"_You don't recognize it?" Lu Ten asked from beside me._

_I looked at him-up at him-and smiled. I wasn't afraid-he had Uncle's kind eyes. I wasn't afraid even though Ozai had told me many a time before that Lu Ten would risk my destiny. It didn't bother me that I was standing in the field as a six year old boy, with my dead cousin robed in a white flowing royal garment and standing in a peaceful grand flower bed that could never exist._

"_It doesn't exist…" I told him calmly. "It's the secret place…"  
>"The secret place…" he reiterated thoughtfully. "Where we hide our hearts desires from our very selves…"<em>

"_Fire-Lilies don't grow with Lotus flowers" I giggled, holding his hand. I couldn't feel it but I was sure it was warm like all fire bender hands were. Warm and strong… I peered up at him slowly and frowned. He was tall, his face at peace… he was Lu Ten but why did he look like me. Why did he look like the 'me' I saw when I had stared into the mirror a second too long once and found I had lost my childhood. He looked like me if I was at peace…_

"_And why is that" he laughed._

"_Lotus flowers grow in mud and Fire-Liles need the hot sun" I said matter of fact, turning his hand over so I could see the back. It was my hand… I was sure… he had my hand..._

"_So wise Zuko!" he chuckled, releasing my small six year old hand and walking ahead through the flowers. The petals rose like butterfly-bee's around him swarming and moving surreal and alive around him like a form of colourful aura. _

"_Zuko…" he said seriously. "The Fire-Lily grows with the Lotus flower here in our Secret place because it exists for you… It exists… so you can be brave and like the Fire-Lily…"_

"_You aren't making sense…" I sighed, sitting in the flowers and picking at the strange lotus blossom._

"_The secret place exists through the dark storms over the seas, away from the masses… hidden with the other secrets" he whispers. "The secret place where all our hearts desires lay hidden and protected from…"_

"_What a pretty flower" I murmured._

"_Zuko…" he whispered from miles away across the field. "If they find you and everything that holds you tightly like small locked hands over a beating heart…"_

"_So soft…" I sighed, brushing the flower against my cheek. "Azula would burn them all…"_

"_Zuko, all your hearts desires" he whispered by my ear and far away "Are here and you have to take them with you… they aren't safe here anymore… they are after you just like you were after the earth's spirit representative…"_

"_Lotus… coral colour like peach-cherry blossoms in the winter… green like palest jade" I said softly brushing the flower tenderly over my cheek._

"_Zuko?" he whispered "Zuko…"_

"Zuko!" she screamed thumping my chest and I felt the painful contracting of my lungs as the water pushed through them and out of my mouth.

"Zuko, wake the hell up!" she roared. "I can't find her… I can't find her…"

Xx~xx~xX

Freedom is a state of mind on account of the fact that one can be jailed in their very thoughts. One can be oppressed by voices in their head… thoughts and whispers that belong to other beings. Voices whispering, thoughts murmuring and skin crawling with an itch… an itch to be _precisely true_. To be _perfect_. To be _beautiful_.

Unlimited beauty, flawless perfection and sanctified morality.

We strive toward it… but what do you do when you awaken to the fact that you were working mercilessly hard to achieve it, to reach this utmost holy goal in life, the highest quality and purest power… you awaken to the fact that you were running for it, fighting to be it but in your veiled jailed mind-you had been for so long fighting against it when you already had it from birth.

This is I lost it. Fighting it.

Fighting against your own goal. Fighting against your self. Fighting your heart and mind and embracing something else much heavier and darker instead.

**AUTHORS NOTE: _remember to review, awesome people!_ Always up for suggestions, a head nod, a complaint etc.**

**At least now everyone's hair is clean… **

**The body is a temple is basically the title for this new journey so it won't be a three part thing. There is of course meaning in the title THE BODY IS A TEMPLE (you can translate that to your own discretion... ;) )… but I am adding little side titles to highlight the content of the specific chapters.**

**The Chamber Maid (review response), threw Zuko in the deep end there-he is in a position of power, easy on the eyes and not yet married. Lock your door fire lord! Those are qualities little chamber maids from small not so well off villages find irresistible. Another little obstacle for Zuko's self esteem when it comes to Toph. Shame…**

**Mai's mother bought the cookies from some herbalist with a little umph for the sex drive, this plus poisoned wine… well, luckily the tea tickled Uncle Iroh's stomach and sent the concoction back out.**

**Azula was a little out of character-result of some minor break through in Katara's therapy sessions. **


	16. Jungle Fever

**The Body is a Temple: Jungle Fever**

"If I had a gold coin for the number of times you have passed out I would be…"  
>"As rich as a daughter from the Bei Fong house?" I sighed, picking my blades from the edge of the foamy waters and strapping them on my back.<p>

"Well, okay. Bad analogy" she grumbled tugging a piece of plank, that once made up part of my boat, through the sand and leaving a squiggly groove of wet sand in her wake.

"That's the last piece" I said softly. "There is nothing else… on the shore"  
>"So what do we do?" she whispered.<p>

"Maybe…" I heaved, staring out to the deceptive calm sea and praying hard, wishing furiously… that she was okay. That the knot in my stomach would disappear and the steady hammering in the corner of my mind would desist. She was formidable… she was determined… a stupid storm couldn't end her… she wasn't…

"Maybe we can take a walk down the beach" she said, her small hand cool on my arm-causing the muscles there to tense and my breath to hitch. How could a simple calm breezy touch heat my skin so easily… wasn't that contradictory-cold heat… inappropriate touch at a time so…?

"A walk down the beach…!" I hissed trying to ignore her burning cool soft skin branding my arm. "A walk… are you…have you lost your…?"

"So you can see if there is anything washed up there or something!" she explained in a low growl, removing her hand and trudging through the sand. "It's a bloody suggestion Zuko… no need to go into labour!"

"Wait…" I called, watching her stampede over the even sand heatedly, leaving a dishevelled sand storm in her wake, huffing and grumbling and her little hands balled up angrily at her sides.

She blamed me, I had taken her away from her life with my never ending troubles and she stuck through it with me from the goodness of her heart… from the patience she held in very little quantity…

"Toph, Wait!" I shouted, running up the beach to her. "I… I am sorry I…"

"Just use your eyes to scan the shore, Sparkles" she sighed kicking at the sand. "The water and loose sand is not helping me…"

"Yes… I didn't mean to…"

"What…!" Toph huffed throwing her hands in the air. "I get it… your sister is missing… you were almost dead and I learnt to doggy paddle on a piece of wood in mere seconds… stop apologising for everything, move with a little more conviction so we can find Witchy…"

She stopped walking, her shoulders slumping heavily and breathing coming out in fuming blows. I stood beside her silently, feeling her quivering hold on control slipping with each heavy breath and rough inhale and exhale.

"She isn't dead…" Toph whispered. "She is just… lost somewhere… okay"

"Okay" I said roughly.

"I mean…." Toph said, shaking her head "She just wouldn't die when we _wanted_ her too…"

"I never wanted her to die" I rasped

"It's just a giant puddle" she said, nodding her head in delirious hope, her hand slipping into mine. "…some little rain fall isn't going to drown Witchy"

"No it won't…" I whispered staring at her cool hand in my own hot one. Was my hand really this big? I wrapped my fingers slowly around her fingers and they disappeared behind mine, their coolness and ridiculously soft, supple skin and delicate feel nestled in my hot rougher hand… my steadily heating up hand that would be sweaty and unbearable any moment now…

"We had better move" she sighed, pulling her hand easily from mine and walking ahead "You can't see in the dark…"

"No, I can't…"

Xx~xx~xX

"They lead into the jungle…" I breathed heavily looking at the medium sized foot prints and staring at the point at the base of the jungle where they disappeared.

"So she made it to the shore and braved the woods" Toph murmurs.

She, of course can't see the forest in the dimming light. The thick tall trees walling the island from intruders, the wide mist rising from the sea or the shadows swaying through the little light inside, between every tree and bush. It looked dark and dangerous and full of_ secrets…_

_A secret place…_

"Yes, she braved the woods" I said softly "But _we_ will go through them…in the morning"

"Why?"

"It would be useless and not very prudent of us to go trampling in the dark…"  
>"It's only dark for you, Sparky" she mumbled walking forward, head up in the air and stance determined.<p>

"Toph…"

"Bend a flame if you're so scared of the dark, Sparkles" she chuckled, pushing her way through a bush and into the darkness.

"I am not afraid" I growled, following after her angrily. "You do not… you can't just go running through a forest…"

"Azula did it"  
>"She was probably looking for us!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air, irritated beyond belief at her smugness in a time like this and slightly because of her questioning my bravery. Maybe mostly the bravery part… why did she have to be so fearsome in her short misleading delicateness...<p>

"Your sword would be handy right about now, Twinkling Star" she huffed, punching at the brush determined, her little fists returning more bruised and scratched with each strike.

"Could you stop that…?" I sighed, reaching for her hand to stop her from hurting herself further and then stopping the motion after remembering instantly how being in any physical contact with Toph set my nerves on fire…

"Sword, Glitter Brain!"

"Could you stop calling me by such…!" I hissed, grabbing my sword from my back angrily "Just stop making me…!"

"You don't get to tell me _anything _Sparkles" she shouted, resuming her thrashing of the bush before huffing and opting to just bend the earth-with the bush in it-aside.

She trampled through the undergrowth fuming and muttering swear words directed at my 'big Fire Lord ego'.

"I do not have an ego!" I called after her, following the path she made as she earth bended and punched the bushes and branches aside. "Let me… let me lead!"

"Oh, now you want to lead me, oh Noble Fire Lord Sparkly pants" she laughed, pausing and allowing me to catch up to her. "Go ahead, lead Sparkles"

"I have a name" I huffed, holding my hand out with the little flame awkwardly as I sliced and slashed through the darkness.

"Sparkle Pants"

"My pants do not sparkle" I mumbled thinking how sparkling pants would be a gift from Agni in comparison to the dirt stained cloth tied around my hips.

"So you say, but as you know… I am blind and can't refute that biased fact" she chuckled.

"Whatever" I grumbled

"Sparkles" she said mockingly-her husky voice dropping low, scratching and rasping in an embarrassing (to me) imitation of my voice.

"What is with everyone and my voice?"

"You have to be on the receiving end, Sparkles!" she said still imitating my voice.

"It's Zuko!" I roared, swiping forcefully through the darkness, my little flame licking up with my anger "Not Sparkles, Twinkling or Glitter Pants… it's…."

"Zuko" she finished. "Are you done?"

I was breathing heavily, paused in the shadow of the trees and sword gripped tightly by my side.

"Yes" I said finally, closing my eyes and trying to sort through the fusion of emotions working through me.

"Zuko…" she sighed. "I don't care for your tantrums…"

"And I don't care for you…"

"I know" she finished in a tiny retreated voice throwing me of guard.

"Know what…?" I asked trying to maintain my irritation while resuming my slashing. "What do you know Toph… how could you know anything when you are so insistent on…"

"You are a brat, you know that?" she hissed.  
>"Cutting me every time I try to talk!" I finished shouting again.<p>

"Whatever Sparkles, watch were you are…"  
>I tripped over some object on the ground, a rock or root and went stumbling a good two metres into the jungle, snatching vines and branches for some convenient assistance to stop my free fall but of course I ended on the ground bruised and battered.<p>

"Watch were you are going" Toph chuckled over me, in the darkness.

"You…?" I growled and she marched ahead before standing in her bending stance and pushed the earth aside, the sound of rustling trees and vegetation eerie and creepy as the earth moved and finally forming a small clearing in the dense woods.

"I think we should rest" she yawned, stamping on the ground and creating her trademark hut and crawling into it. "Night, Your Royal Sparkly Pants Glittering Big Headedness…"  
>"Its Zuko" I whispered, sitting on the ground and readjusting my worn out cloth.<p>

"No one cares in this jungle" she shouted. "And you better find an umbrella _Zuko…"_

"It's not going to rain"

"That's what you said last time" she said sardonically.

"I don't even know why we are fighting…" I huffed, leaning against a jagged rock and hating the hard ground. I glared at the triangular sepia structure she was hidden in…

"You think this is fighting?" she laughed. "When it comes to Toph Bei Fong… when it comes to _Grand Master _Toph Bei Fong… this is a mile from fighting"  
>"Why are you angry with me?"<br>"You are the one angry at yourself, Zuko" she huffed. "I am _irritated _by your inability to just… loosen up and grab onto a little ray of hope or something… so what if people are trying to kill you that's no excuse too forget everyone else…"

"That isn't true!" I almost cried out how even through my anger and torment she constituted a very large portion of my thoughts. "And you know what… people are trying to kill me and it… it… _sucks!"_

"Now I am a liar?" she laughed. "Here comes the rain…"

The sky flashed and thunder roared and the temperature dropped immediately, leaving me huddled in the dirt by the rock in nothing but a worn cloth covering were it mattered most. In seconds I was shivering and my frustration grew in accordance to Toph's soft humming in the cosy comfort of her mud hut. It began drizzling slightly…

"You can be very mean when it suits you" I grumbled.

"Said the guy who flung plates across his bedroom and called his fiancé a deprived scavenger"

"You need to get over that" I mumbled, sniffing a little. "Mai did…."

"How could you tell" she laughed. "Katara says she has only one expression and her voice sounds like she's been dead for a while but someone forgot to tell her that…"

"Katara…"I sighed. "She wouldn't leave me out in the rain…"

"You and I both know she'd throw a bucket of water on you… while it rained" she murmured. "Consider this a kindness…"

She crawled out of her hut, got up and bent her knees a little before pushing her hands down palms facing down in a swift abrupt motion and her hut disappeared.

"You are going to sit with me in the rain?" I snivelled rubbing my nose "That your act of compassion?"

"Don't be daft Zuko" she said seriously before turning around and doing another earth bending motion and bringing forth a rock wall before slamming a slanted wall into it forming a little cave-shed thing.

"Don't want you getting sick again" she muttered, sitting in under the covering. "You coming in or you waiting for Aganai to invite you?"

"It's Agni and that's blasphemy" I mumbled sulkily ignoring the fact that she knew it was Agni and was-like what she had been doing for the past hour-aiming to annoy.

"…whatever" she growled, folding her arms and pushing her knees up to her chest to keep warm. I sat opposite her, watching her frowning face and equally disturbed by the cold.

"Why are you angry with me Toph?" I whispered. "Do you… is it because I made you leave your home and stay at the Fire Nation palace?"

"_You _made _me_ do a_nything_?" she laughed sarcastically "I stayed because someone had to take care of you and your ignorance"

"I am not ignorant"  
>"There you go" she said shaking her head in disapproval "Ignorant about being ignorant"<p>

"I like that you get along with Azula" I whispered, the words leaving my mouth abruptly. She gaped at me-a few millimetres of off my face and shook her head again.

"We do not get along" she said in a strong tone. "We… agree on things occasionally-mainly you"

She shivered a little before tightening her arms around her body. The rain began falling heavily, the lightning flashing swiftly.

"I am warm" I said-another brusque thought leaving my mind through my mouth without instruction.

"That's nice for you Zuko" she stammered, her teeth chattering a little.

"I mean…" I said slowly, fearful and thrilled at the same time as I formulated the sentence "I mean… I am warm and can… you can be warm too"  
>"You going to make a fire?" she asked. "I think all the firewood would be wet…"<br>"I am warm…" I rasped. "You can be warm too…"  
>"Spit it out"<p>

"We can…" I mumbled but then just opted to show her. I got up and moved to her side of the narrow space and sat slowly by her side. I put my arm carefully over her but then I felt her stiffen and I quickly withdrew it, folding it securely over my chest.

"Uhm…"I mumbled.

"Just do it" she murmured, snuggling a little into my side. "I won't eat your arm, oh _Agni_…"

"Are you certain… you look hungry?" I tried joking; remembering Aang saying it put people at ease when you joked...

"Keep your damn arm then" she hissed, shuffling away from me and leaving me in confusion. "I got my own _fat _one…"  
>"What…"<p>

"Shut it" she huffed.

I normally got along with Toph… well, I guess I got along with her in the sense that she didn't run away from my, no they were _not _tantrums just… minor episodes. She stayed and put up with it before breaking me down and reminding me that I was just a boy.

Maybe the problem was I wasn't just a boy anymore. I was a man and what we had-the friendship-it had been as a boy and a girl and we hadn't managed to move it through to our adulthood.

"Brooding?" she shouted over the thunder and rain.

"Per Usual" I mumbled and she shook her head before slouching against the wall.

In minutes she was snoring loudly, the sound echoing through our cave and possibly terrifying any near by animals.

Xx~xx~xX

**Somewhere a few miles into the jungle, from the uncomfortable sleeping King and irate snoring beautiful Grand Master…**

"Just sit still…" the woman murmured, tucking the blankets around an anxious Fire Nation Princess. "Your leg… Stop moving so much Azula!"

"How do you know my name" Azula rasped, throwing the blankets off with her bounds hands, her eyes darting around the small hut in frenzied fear. "Who are you… let me go!"  
>"You can go if you want to" the woman murmured, her face hidden in the shadows of the sparsely lit room. "The door is unlocked… you can go any time you want. There is a make shift umbrella propped on by door if you really feel like braving this storm…"<br>"If you know my name" Azula roared "Then you know what I am capable off!"

"I know" the woman whispered, lightning flashing and in that instant her slightly aged beautiful face was visible to the young demented princess. "I know all too well what it is you are capable of… now, either snuggle in the bed and let your leg heal or go out and possibly catch an infection. If you need me, I'll be by the fire in the kitchen… it's a little to the left…"

She closed the door, Azula listening insistently for any sound of a lock being turned but it never came. She dropped back in bed, groaning as the movement sent a shock of pain through her left leg and wiping the sweat from her brow.

Zuko and his Little Urchin he was unable to stop staring at…

Zuko….

The memory of her brother smiling awkwardly at her as he rowed the boat insistently engraved in her mind, hair blowing freely in the air, his face too masculine and hard but his eyes maintaining that naïve innocence that would always cost him so much…

**AUTHORS NOTE: If you are enjoying, review… if you have a little suggestion, review… if you READ THIS _REVIEW…_ LOL.**

**Okay, responses: **

**Toph hasn't forgotten the chamber maid incident but seriously, how do you approach _that…? _(It will come up and knowing _Lady_ Bei Fong, at an inappropriate time)**

**I almost did let Toph get lost… but I thought that we need to send Azula on her road to recovery too and Zuko needs to brave the _Grand _Master Toph.**


	17. The Fear of Touch

**THE BODY IS A TEMPLE FINALE: The Fear of Touch**

"You have to eat something Azula" she says huffing and rolling her eyes.

"Yes, I do" Azula says softly, glaring at the enticing aroma wafting from the plate seated on the tray the woman holds out for her, and smell drifting up to her tortured nose. "But that _something_ doesn't have to be poison"

"If I was going to kill you… I would have done it when you were asleep" she says smiling innocently at her. "All that moaning and crying damn near made me do it, you know"

"I… what is this crap you made anyway" Azula breathes indignantly but her eyes haven't left the plate for a second.

"Stew" the woman says softly, stirring it a little with the wooden spoon and causing the room to be filled with a delicate meaty smell. She sits by Azula's feet on the little bed, watching Azula from the corner of her eye and stirring continuously.

"Stew huh" Azula breathes, managing to tear her eyes away from the food. "I don't feel like stew…"  
>"And what is it you feel like, <em>Princess<em>" the woman laughs.

"A steak"

"Well, while I go and get the royal cook to go into the jungle and find you a 'steak'" she smiles. "I'll leave this unworthy stew by the table here"  
>She places the unvarnished wooden tray by the little table with a single yellowish orange daisy perched sadly on it, smiles sarcastically at Azula and leaves the room, chuckling lightly and closing the door.<p>

"It has to be poisoned" Azula whispers to herself, crawling up to the edge of the bed, near the little sadistic table with the tray. "Of course it's poisoned"  
>"She poisoned it" she repeats to herself, unaware as always when her voice changes quality and the words slip through from an unknown source. The 'unknown source' in question keeps a steady string of murmurs to her mind that the woman is untrustworthy… no one is trustworthy and the food is poisoned.<p>

_Don't eat it, Azula_ it whispers. _She wants you dead. They all want you dead…_

"She has his eyes" Azula reprimands. "She… Zuko… I wouldn't eat it otherwise."  
>She picks up the wooden spoon slowly and sniffs, groaning as her stomach churns. "Just a little taste…"<p>

_It's a trick Azula. She is tricking you into trusting her. She can see you are weak… that water bender made you **weak**… it's a trick…_

"It's a damn delicious trick!" Azula chuckles to herself licking her lips as the delicious food slips down her throat, burning the hunger away and stinging her chapped lips.

"Just one more spoonful" she sighs, lifting another loaded spoon to her lips. "I won't give her the satisfaction…"

Xx~xx~xX

**Elsewhere in the jungle…**

"I can't find any more foot prints" I sigh, whacking the side of a rather wide tree with the sturdy rod I found.

"Okay then" Toph murmurs, sitting down. "I am hungry"

"You are always hungry"

"That's 'cause I am fat" she hisses.

"What is it with you and the word _fat_" I huff, peering towards her briefly before resuming my whipping of the tree. "You keep going on about it…"  
>"Well" she says smiling mockingly "You and your sister kept on about it…"<p>

"She was just saying you were eating a little too…"  
>"And you agreed" she huffs.<p>

"You don't care about aesthetics, remember" I mumble, sitting at the base of the tree.

"I… don't …" she says unsure. "It… I am fat?"

"You tell me" I grumble, the words muffled by the sound of my own grumbling stomach.

"I am not fat" she says a little too loud and grandly. "I can see the structure of people and… I am not fat"  
>"So you can see your own structure?" I ask absently, twirling circles in the moist soil. I would have to go find us food… I know Toph was a better hunter but after hours of her beating me at everything…<p>

"No…" she murmurs softly tugging at the short hem of her shirt. "Your shirt is big on me"

"What?"

"Your shirt…" she repeats her voice becoming tinier. "From… before…"

"You have my shirt?" I ask, my voice rising in optimism. "Well, give it to me then… I am sun burnt and have all these bug bites…"  
>"No you idiot!" she growls, pushing her legs out in exasperation "From the time… our journey together in the forest… when we got lost…"<p>

"Anyway" she says dismissively. "I figure if I am fat then the shirt wouldn't fit, now would it?"  
>"What shirt Toph" I asks curiously, raking my mind on why she would have… the journey. When she decided taking a bath in the middle of a jungle was a good idea…<p>

"I mean you are tall and built but if I was fat then…"  
>"You wear my shirt" I gasped. "You still have the shirt…?"<p>

"Uh…"

"It has to be filthy, I mean…"  
>"I wash it!" she says defensively.<p>

"You wear it and wash it…" I ask in confusion halting my drawing and staring at her. "_Why?"  
><em>She stares at a spot above my head, eyes large, wide and face blank and her mouth hanging open before a bright angry red colour creeps over her neck to her cheeks in a luscious contrast of cherry and cream.

"I am not fat!" she shouts, rising in a swirling dusty motion of the ground and charging through the forest, a string of swear words thrown over her head.

"Argh" I grumble to myself, getting off the ground and following her little path of destruction. "Isn't she supposed to be a tomboy or something, Agni? This is so Ty Lee…"

"I can hear you, Dummy!" I hear her infuriated scream up ahead and I just roll my eyes.

"Well, at least with you clearing the way in front" I chuckle mockingly "There won't be suspicious rocks appearing out of nowhere and tripping…"

I trip over a suspicious rock appearing out of nowhere, falling forwards and skinning my forearms as I brace myself on the now hard ground with a low grunt.

"Mind your step" she sings.

"Is that a new Grand Master trick" I mumble, getting up of the ground and leaving my manhood mingled in the disturbed dirt and viewing my scratched angry red bruise on my hairy forearm.

"You're lucky it wasn't your insufferable face!"

"You can't even see my _insufferable face_!"  
>"Like you can't see mine" she mutters, and I spot her slow shuffling form through the shade of the thick canopy of thriving trees, kicking at the ground absently. She has ripped off another inch from her shirt and tied the cloth to her wrist as a sort of sweat band. Her back is bare, and I can see the rather prominent dip of her lower back…<p>

"You are an enigma" I grumble glaring at the leafy sky. "You have a wealthy family, why keep my tattered shirt…"

"Drop it"

"You don't care about looks but you let Azula get to you" I huff, pressing the red raw flesh experimentally and then flinching when it smarts.  
>"I'll drop <em>you<em> if you don't drop _it_!"

"Go ahead" I laugh, twirling my stick. "What are a few more scratches on top of all these bruises…? I look like I went to war…"

"You'll look like you visited the ancestors in a moment if you don't…" she stops abruptly and I ram into her-a side effect of manically gazing at every surrounding I pass to stop from looking at her back-and we topple over.

"Hey!" she roars, attempting to push me off of her. "Gerrof!"

"Huh?"  
>"Ouch" she hissed "Your stupid rod poked me…"<p>

"My…" I get up and try lifting her by the arm but she flings her hand out of my grasp violently, rising from the ground in a giant huff.

"Sorry" I mumble looking away from her as she angrily fixes her shirt-which had moved another sinful few inches up-right by her rib cage.

"Give me that!" she growls, snatching my stick and snapping it in two over her leg. "What do you need a _seeing_ stick for anyway, you aren't blind!"

"Sorry…"  
>"Shut up" she says in a low voice, throwing the two pieces in different directions, over the bushes and into the shadows. "You always apologise!"<p>

"I knocked you over…?"

"I knocked you over a thousand and one times…" she says, poking my chest in a series of painful jabs "And did you hear me apologising?"  
>"That's different" I say, rubbing my now sore chest from her violent prodding. "This was an accident!"<br>"That was an accident too" she laughs.

"How… you deliberately laid those…"  
>"You're such a wuss!" she huffs, wheeling away from me. "Any how… there is a nest past that bush over there… with eggs I think"<p>

She points nonchalantly over a particularly dry but thick bush.

"I'll get the eggs then!" I snarl, walking over to the bush and throwing her a useless disdained look.

"Something useful for you to do…" she sighs, wiping her forehead with her makeshift wrist band.

"Well… we have eggs" I say, carrying the nest from the bush.

"And breakfast"

"It is late lunch" I murmur, looking up at the still bright but cool sky.

"Whatever, _seeing person_" she grumbles. "Food is food, no matter what time of the day you eat it"

Xx~xx~xX

**In the little room, in the little makeshift hut in the middle of the jungle…**

"Do you feel better?" she asks, smiling.

It bothers Azula that she can't tell whether the smile is genuine or mocking. Right about now she could deal with mocking, insults and being chained to the bed. That way she wouldn't have to think up reasons on why she can't leave this strange familiar person… she knows who it is, but she doesn't want to acknowledge it. It is best to lace her identity with '_The Witch in the Wood's' _than to accept it… she is just _the woman_…

The bowl sits empty on the table, spoon dangling over its edge and the little vase with the silly daisy knocked over.

Azula herself sits in the little lumpy bed, her shackled hands in her lap and staring at the wall-away from her before peering for a second at her kind expectant face and huffing, head turned petulantly back to the unplastered grey wall.

"Well, it seems the food wasn't poisoned after all" she laughs uneasily, remembering how hard it had always been for her to relate to Azula. To talk to her and just laugh… just be free and innocent… everything always had a motive with Azula.

"It seems…" Azula drones.

"Would you like a bath?" she asks hopefully. Azula is sits in the little bed, in filthy prison robes, hair matted and knotted and her skin-skin that had been smooth and clear when she was younger-smudged with dirt and small pink patches.

"No"

"What would you like Azula?"  
>"For you to live me alone" she murmurs in a detached voice.<p>

"Who were you talking to before?" she asks Azula carefully-her eyes watching the side of her head as Azula stiffens.

"My imaginary _real _mother" Azula chuckles scathingly, still refusing to look at her. "Now get out before you do something _treacherous _to me"

Xx~xx~xX

She doesn't think Zuko is dead. No, not her brother… he might be naïve and trusting but he had the necessary fuel only a descendant of Sozin himself can possess to _thrive._ They were _thriving vibrant _beings-her and her brother. Perfection walking on earth… better than the Avatar… perfect and _exceptional_.

Zuko might have been momentarily tainted by Iroh…

_Like you were tainted by Ozai _a different voice murmurs through her thoughts and she groans, her fingers fisting through her rough hair.

The confusion she felt in those last days before it all changed, that gnawing feeling that had settled in her stomach that made her nauseous and everything swivel and swirl like some tainted artists Surrealism inspired painting. The way everything had seemed so perfect from reflection but the original substance was black and gooey instead of velvety silver and smooth…

It had all been planned out. She liked order and perfection. She liked it when everything had a place-none of this rambling and wandering through life that the other nations were insistent on doing.

Ozai had said that it was for Zuko to marry Mahazai's daughter, Kuya's little Mai-and her father had chastised her from complaining of it further-Mahazai was to be the governor of New Ozai. Azula would be betrothed to the prominent general's-one of the already aged men who Ozai felt would be easily twisted and kept in line…

An older man…

They would be within nobility with trusted allies. It was a plan, it was order and perfection. The sick feeling that had started welling in her heart from the point after she was announced as the Fire Lord and to be married to a slimy Sun Tzu… that was abrupt, unplanned, unwanted, chaotic and irrefutable.

She had failed in that sense. She had failed… she was to be honoured and excited at the anticipation… but it was the _anticipation _that had made her skin crawl.

"I have your bath water on the fire" She murmured from behind the door, startling Azula.

"I am not bathing" Azula said absently-still studying the walls of the room. She knew she was filthy; she stunk with sin and failure…

"When it boils" she whispered, her voice hitching and quavering "We'll get you in the bathing room okay"

"I said no" Azula said, her voice lost of any conviction or care.

"I found a few jasmine-lavender leaves" she said in a sort of sing song way-the way she would talk to Zuko when he was being difficult and weak simultaneously about some meagre action. "I made a lovely soap… and with some rosemary fig I made bath salts and we have a peach-berry shampoo waiting for you"

"And we can wash your dirty skin" she finished shuffling away from the door.

_We can wash your dirty sin._

Xx~xx~xX

**Two grumbling talented beings bumbling through the jungle…**

"Its going to rain again" Toph murmurs.

"The sky is clear…"  
>"Do you find some sick satisfaction in being wrong" she says scathing "Or are you really this dumb…"<p>

"Call me dumb one more time…"

"That's what you said the other twelve times" she chuckles. "I think we are going in a round about way…"

"Why" I huff.

"Well" she says thoughtfully. "You see that pointy rock to your left…?"

"Yeah…" I say spotting the triangular rock near the base of a tree with twirling vines around it.

"It's the same rock you peed on" she finishes seriously while I feel the heat scratching up my neck.

"You were watching me…?" I breathe in shock and embarrassment.

"Not really, it's kind of hard not to 'see' with my vision having a radius of a few metres and my feet being constantly on the ground" she says smiling a little at my discomfort. "The only way I would _politely _not see is if I managed to levitate for a few minutes so His Royal Water Fountain can spurt in peace"

"Then why didn't you just…"  
>"Grab hold of a branch and dangle for a few seconds… uh, sorry minutes…?" she laughs. "Maybe you could have juggled holding me off the ground and holding your…"<p>

"Oh dear Agni!" I scream pulling at my hair "You are insufferable!"

"Whatever" she murmurs, picking at her teeth with a straw. "I wouldn't sit there if I were you"  
>"Why?" I grumble sitting on the rock anyway.<p>

"That's were you peed, Dummy" she chuckles, stamping her foot and producing a perfect square stool.

Xx~xx~xX

"My cloth is so worn and dirty" I groan, trying to readjust the cloth so it can cover most of the length of my thighs.

"You could just stop fidgeting with it and walk naked" she says seriously, her lips a juicy purple colour. "I promise I won't look much…"  
>"What are you eating…?" I ask my voice a little shaky, walking over to her. "Are those even edible…!"<br>"I am eating them, so they must be…" she begins but my temper soars at her callousness when it comes to her health, safety and general well being.

"They could be poisonous, Toph!" I hiss. "You could die…"

"Shut up and eat some" she sighs holding her hand out to me filled with purple berries. "I am pretty sure the chirping I heard was from the birds feeding of off them and there aren't any dead birds on the ground…"

"They might have flown off and died mid flight, falling to their doom over some unsuspecting herbivore…"

"You sound like Azula" she grumbles, taking her hand back and stuffing the berries in her mouth, the juices escaping and dribbling over her lip and down her chin.

"You have juice…?" I murmur but my speech fails me as I watch her tongue dart out and lick some of the purple juices of her lips, ignoring the liquid down her chin. How sweet they must taste…

"You have sweet lips on your fruit juice" I mumble, reaching up to her face. "I mean…"  
>"Sweet juice on my lips" she says softly, stilling her movements as my fingers brush her chin hesitantly, before lightly wiping the sticky liquid away with my thumb and leaving a smudged little purple patch.<p>

She sits still her vision blank and yet unnerved, her chest rising and falling in quick rhythms and I stand before her staring at my thumb with the purple juices before I brave my own thudding heart and rid us both of the tortures evidence to… _something._

"It is sweet" I mutter after sucking my thumb free of the sticky substance. "I'll... go… I'll have some"  
>"Okay then" she responds her voice low, husky and trembling. "I'll go over there and… uhm, stand watch while you… have some berries"<br>"Good idea" I mutter, picking a few plump purplish berries, my back turned to her but every nerve ending ablaze with her presence.

"It's because it's… my idea" she laughs uneasily, her voice already fleeting across the little thin clearing.

"You do come up with the best idea's" I laugh hoarsely with her, surreptitiously watching as she leans against a tree-her back to me-toes drawing circles through the hard ground.

The distance between us is only a few feet but somehow it feels like miles upon miles and yet I can _feel _her. Like that fateful night at sea, when she had been terrified and had clutched me tightly, her small hands locking over my chest and her beating heart thrumming against my back, through her chest… her chest rising and falling…

"Are you going to eat or what?" she snaps, all previous softness and timidness evaporating "I know you picked some… but for the life of me I don't know why you have to stare at it. You want Agni's permission…?"  
>"Some of us like to clean our food first" I hiss back at her, wiping the little berry on my dirty cloth before plopping it in my mouth and chewing noisily.<p>

"Is this loud enough for you" I ask sardonically, my mouth full of half cleaned and dirty berries, the juices escaping freely. "Can you hear the evidence of my feasting…?"

"Shut up and enjoy the sweet_ lips!" _she snaps. "Toddler Fire Lord"

Xx~xx~xX

**Bath time for the beautiful princess…**

"Its bath time" she sings, entering the room in a flurry of movement; skirt twirling, hair fanning in the air and her familiar warm fragrance spinning through the air molecules. She goes over to the width of yellowish curtain and pulls it back, the dim sunlight fleeting through and burning Azula's eyes.

Azula cringes back, her shackled hands going over her eyes instinctively, the elemental binds scratching her nose and she groans in pain.

"I told you no!" she screams, tugging at the sheets desperately.

"Come now" the woman murmurs, smiling sweetly at her. She watches through pained eyes as Azula grips the bedding with her shackled hands-the skin of her wrists a patched mosaic of purple pink and peachy flesh with little black bumps of healed scabbing skin. She tries to keep her face neutral but knows that her eyes-eyes that could never lie of the emotions of their owner-convey her despair.

"Come Azula… the bath will get cold"

"No…!" she rasps at her-like a cornered kitten-mouse.

"Come now…" she whispers fisting the sheets and steadying herself. "You have to be clean… we have to clean your leg and…"  
>"No!" Azula roars all previous pathetic fury lost and voice and face twisting like a panther-lion. It was odd that Azula should have her temper and Zuko his fathers… maybe Agni knew a twisted form couldn't contain anger like <em>his-<em>a dragon's cannibalistic anger…

She tugs hard at the covers and they come sweeping over Azula's skinny form, shocking her momentarily before Azula gapes at her-Azula's large twisted eyes anticipating her next move.

She takes Azula by the hand carefully and Azula flinches at the contact. She pulls Azula-leading her off the bed and Azula follows while shaking her head furiously, eyes red but not tearful-no she never did cries. Azula mumbles nonsensical things of how dangerous she can be and how untrustworthy the 'witch' is… as though there is a third person in the house she is trying to convince of the matter. She leads her into the wash room and closes the door softly.

Azula watches with wide fearful and curious eyes as she takes her shirt off-gently and calmly. Azula is well versed in combat without the aid of bending, much over trained warriors just like Zuko but she never thinks to fight her off. She tells herself there is no point… just like she had wished she had been shackled to the bed rather than left there free to leave-she wished she would wrestle her into the bath tub instead of touching her softly and carefully while humming a tone she recalls easily.

She bends to her knees and tugs at the band of her pants and Azula steps out of each leg timidly-her chest rising and falling as though she has just finished a marathon rather than a simple act of stepping into a bath.

She tugs at her panties and Azula stiffens-her breath caught in her lungs before she manages to release it in a painful gust-hating the vulnerability. The lack of perfection she is, standing in front of the traitor in nothing but skin and bones and filthy…

"Hmm" she murmurs, nudging her to the edge of the bucket-like-tub and dips her fingers in the water. "Perfect"

"Perfect?" Azula asks, peering into the waters; they are a murky lavender colour and the soft herbal fragrance filters through the steam. She takes a step into the water-one experimental dip of her big toe before landing her whole leg into it. The water is perfect, of course it is…

She sits in the waters and lets the woman scrub her arms, her legs and the rest of her body. A soft gentle scrub all while humming the tone…

"Pretty little princess" she sings. "Pretty little nose, pretty little mouth, pretty little cheeks…""

She runs her fingers through Azula's hair carefully; kneading her scalp and pulling her knots out with a comb, the aroma of the shampoo overwhelming the senses.

"Pretty hair for the pretty princess"

"With pretty flowing hair…" she hums watching as Azula's eyes flutter a little before drooping wearily.

"The most perfect beautiful fire bending princess in the world" Azula finishes sleepily.

The little addition to her song had been her father's-and from then on the woman had known she had no chance in regaining Azula. She had had her for all of nine months before he had claimed her his and formed her into this weapon.

"Azula" she breathes. "Did he… did he send you away-your Father… did He _banish _you… what of your brother…?"

But the questions were asked a second too late. The Perfect tarnished princess lay asleep in the warm calming waters, her mothers hands cleaning her dirty skin free of sins done in the volatile rive for perfection and the last thought she had was of how this would be the first time she had fallen asleep peacefully since Zuko was banished.

Xx~xx~xX

**The rain returns…**

It started of as a small drizzle filtering through the thick leaves of the tree tops, barely visible and easily ignorable. It didn't really fall on everything, just through the patches but there weren't many clear spaces through the leafy canopy…

"This is ridiculous" Toph grumbled. "Everything seems the same-the terrain… I can't tell how far we have gone…"

"Maybe we should head back…" I mumble, scratching my neck.

"After we find Azula" Toph says in a dead tone. "I am sure there is something ahead"

"Yes" I say mimicking her tone, the skin of my back on fire. "That's what you said twenty five minutes ago…"

It seems, with the rain and the never ending supply of trees, vines, strange bushes and strangely smart animals (hunting turned out to be a feat for both of us) that hope and perseverance were running out.

We move a few more feet through the dense woods, my skin itching more insistently and a humming sound ringing in my ears.

"Uhhh…" Toph exhales lifting her hands in the air as the rain drizzles with a little more capacity, spinning on her heels and her flared short shirt waving hypnotically in the air. "That's nice…" 

The water goes through her hair, wetting it into a wavy mass of soft onyx reeds around her face and sticking to her now white oleander-tulip skin. Her shirt darkens were the rain drops fall and I realise too late the dark beige cotton goes see through when wet….

"What?" she murmurs.

"Nothing" I rasp, scratching the back of my neck furiously and glaring at our new surroundings that are exactly the same to all million of the previous ones...

"Your heart beat…"  
>"It's your damn berries!" I hiss transferring my discomfort and the hot feeling crawling over my skin through to my anger.<p>

"You poisoned me!" I snarl, staring at the red blotched patch on my arm. "I have a rash…!"

"If I poisoned you with berries" she laughs derisively "Don't you think I would have been careful not to eat the same damn berries _Idiot?_"

"I told you not to call me that!" I roar my chi-already charged thanks to her silly torn up wet shirt-prodding the heat in me. My fingers twitch expectantly…

"Or what, Zuko?" she hisses, a smirk gracing her still lavender lips. "Don't be a _dumbass_… you have a rash because you're the Fire Lord _Idiot _that likes to lean on every available structure…"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!" and all I see is a red haze as I vaguely feel the twitch of my fingers as the air around my hand crackles with fire burning the moist air.

She changes her stance and growls low, moving swiftly to her right when I fling the flame at her before making a swift motion with her clenched fists and sending a jagged form of earth through the air and into my side-knocking me a good few feet into the air and I collide with the ground hard.

My feet and arms are shackled immediately with hard rocky shackles.

"Calm it, Twinkling…" she murmurs, her voice calm and filled with mild entertainment "I really don't want to hurt you…"  
>I growl, thrusting the heat to my hands but holding it in-building it up-before releasing it in a combustion that propels me out of her binds and through the air. My hands ball at my sides and I charge the fire again-keeping of the ground and out of her sight. She wheels around, breathe visible in the cooled air-a series of hard white puffs disappearing in the air.<p>

"Where are you Zuko" she whispers, and I land awkwardly in the tree watching her. She spins in the direction of the tree I am in, her eyes narrowed and suspicious. "That tree got heavier…"

As she grins and readjusts her limbs I charge up my fists to form rocket propellers again and as soon as the serrated boomerang shaped is flung from her foot-a swift movement of her foot sliding over the ground-and through the air hissing and whizzing over to the spot I was crouched in. I leave my perch and head straight for her unsuspecting form, colliding with her and ramming into a tree-pinning her to the wood with a low moan, hands over her head and secured in my one hand and squirming body flush on mine.

"I told you to stop it Toph!" I growl in her ear. "No nicknames… no humiliating…!"

"Get off of me!" she huffs twisting her wrists.

I lean my head onto her forehead, my breathing frantic and heart thudding hard. She only needs room to make a simple movement and I will be made to pay dearly… the only thing stopping her from delivering her anger-that I fear wisely is the fact that she is held of the ground by my right hot hand pinning her slender smaller hands over her head tightly and my naked thigh wedged between her legs and propping her up.

"You think I don't know how many _idiotic things _ I have done" I hiss in her ear and she shudders. "You think I don't know how _stupid _I have been… how trusting and _childishly_ hopeful"

"What do you want huh, a hug?" she chuckles low, wiggling, twisting and tugging her body in a torturously distracting motion. "An apology?"  
>"Well…"<p>

"You want me to get on _my knees_" she whispers in my ear. "And _give_ _you_ an _apology_, Fire Lord?"

That cools my rage immediately, my eyes go wide and mouth hangs open-the memory of her walking in on the chamber maid kneeling before me burning my vision. Vision gone, I see it too late when she leans her head back and brings her forehead crashing down hard on my nose-my hands immediately release her hands and go for my bleeding nose and I stumble back groaning.

"You …!" I cry removing my fingers tentatively from my nose and staring in horror at the blood. "You block my node!"

"You bruised my elbow" she hisses stumbling back as though she has a wave of vertigo.

I groan and touch the area on my nose carefully, glancing at her and shaking my head when I see the blotched pink patch on her forehead from were she struck me.

"Let me see?" she sighs, walking over to me.

"Ngo!" I snap but she covers the distance anyway-invading my heated personal bubble with her silly shirt that covers exactly the necessary and exposed stomach area. "Your blynd!"

She touches my hand that hovers over my nose gently-a soft touch in comparison to her previous violent aggressive movements… violently aggressive movements on my leg, my naked thigh…

"Zuko" she mumbles, pulling my hand over my face. "It's… the jungle messing with us. We just need to rest"

I gulp in response as her fingers touch my face, my chin delicately.

"I didn't mean…" she sighs, her face going sad and I am overcome with an urge to scoop her in my arms and tell her it was my entire fault… I should have taken the insults, the horrifically emasculating nicknames…

"You aren't stupid Zuko" she whispers in her textured husky tone. "You are brave… I think you are brave… I just get a little overwhelmed. When everything is over… and I have to return to my own _stupid mess…_"

Her fingers ghost over my cheek on the good side of my face, my eyes twitch in indecision on whether to close and take pleasure in her soft fingers or remain open and have my fill of her beautiful face inches from my own… her scent enveloping me…

"You have to be brave and strong to go through everything… I know that… I am proud, I believe in you I just get a bit… its hard. I am your friend, for always if you need me… I just…" she sighs, her fingers reaching over to the other side of my face and causing me to go rigid in anticipation of her touch on my burnt skin, the moment her skin recoils from the leathery smooth contact like Mai… she touches the skin fully and my breath hitches, her fingers going round my slanted eye twice and a small smile on her lips.

"Battle scars" she whispers and I feel my heart shaking my frame with each heavy thud, the rain dripping through my hair and steaming up around us.

Her fingers leave my now cherished scar and touch my lips hesitantly before tracing the outer rim, running over the softer pliable flesh and I watch her mesmerised as her eyes move in concentration-as though they are receiving the picture formed by her tracing fingers.

She touched my lower lip carefully and without permission, on its own accord… my tongue darts out and tastes her soft salty fingers…

She gasps her jade eyes wide and shocked and before I can apologise… she jumps away from me and spins to the left, her stance tensed and concentrating.

"Toph…" I murmur, a sound so low it could have been a moan, feeling dazed, drugged and entirely alive at the same time but she quiets me.

"I think…" she murmurs. "There is a house up ahead"

"What?"

"A house… there is a house up ahead" she says a little excitedly. "A structure… if we go up a little further, I would be able to see how many people are in there"

"We have to be careful" I mutter hoarsely-the spell rising queasily off of me and leaving me with a thudding heart and a stomach snaking with hot larva. "We can't just go…"  
>But of course she doesn't listen and goes charging through the forest and I frantically chase after her, making to sure to keep the vision of her flying hair in my sights.<p>

"Toph!" I shout as she dips through the trees, bushes ahead. I want the spell back… already feeling its effect wearing off…

"Toph, wait up… don't run from me!"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**A little motherly love and a whole lot of sexual tension…**

**Remember to review! Love, questions, suggestions, criticism… I' m up for it! Just to know you read and enjoyed too**


	18. Ursa's Treasures

The rain fell down calmly, soft liquid tears escaping from the smoky coloured clouds and landing silently onto the already moist ground. She sat by her the window of the little room on a stool, watching the outside with new found wonder and appreciation.

It had been years since she had found herself on the island, years ago when she had escaped the prison of he ship through determination and courage. Determination and courage-two treasures she had first lost in her marriage to Ozai.

She kept recalling an odd memory between her and the daunting man; a memory of the first time she had found pleasure in his… selfish night pastimes. A strange memory to recall in the little room with her beautiful sleeping daughter, but there it was. She blushed quietly to herself, shaking her head at the silliness of it all but the absurd poetry Agni had scribbled over her previously pathetic existence-in that one memory.

The memory…

"_Ngh… Aaaahhh" Ozai finished punctuating the sound with a deep breathy groan before releasing her from his locked arms that she was sure had left a bruise on her back._

_His hair was tussled; face glistening with sweat and eyes wide and disbelieving. She lay still beside him, her own hair wild, her limbs aching beautifully and skin throbbing in foreign pleasant sensations. This had been the day she discovered a different sort of love from the ones written in old books and whispered by ancient women. It was weird, the way she hated him… and loved him with a surreptitious shame that she hid._

_Hadn't she saved her purity for the man she would marry so he could appreciate it? how naïve she had been as a girl, eager to please her family and walk in honour._

_Ozai appreciate anything she willingly treasured…? There where things he did appreciate about her. Ozai appreciated her beauty-because it complemented his own. Her intelligence-because it made her prude as to when to shut her mouth. Ozai appreciated Ozai and it had been so for the duration of their marriage till this point when he had unwittingly appreciated outside of his own body…_

_She had not wanted to be touched, given harsh kisses and had rough hands groping at her but when they had started squabbling over her submission, she had found something in her that she had lost a long time ago. Strength. Today, her soul had growled-you are not to submit. Today, you will brave the spoilt darkling… and she had._

_But when the fighting had lighted her passion, his eyes had become bewildered by her reaction to him and this surprised them both. What was supposed to be the beginning of a long fight through to the morning with vases thrown and windows shattered ended with the curtains set on fire and their naked forms breathing labouredly on the broken bed from their hateful lovemaking…_

To think that that day would be the conception of Zuko-through a wild stormy embrace of mutual dislike veiled in stormy _appreciation_.

Of course he had not allowed her to hold onto that passion and charged determination after that display. The moment it arose was the moment it was squashed.

The ostentatious palace was a stark contrast to her upbringing; the lies and deception were a wake up call from her naïve love and honesty. She hated those dark corridors with looming figures but when her son had been born it changed.

She could walk the shadows and darkness of every passage in the palace without fear. She would walk through the shadows with her light in her arms-glowing and burning every dark substance away. She would carry her son in her then strong arms and his little soft ones would clutch at her neck and stroke her face and every shadow would fall back in terror of the love they burned.

Her light… her son; with his large doe eyes trimmed with thick straight eyelashes that were exact copies of her own thrown onto his face in an uncontested beautiful androgynous capture by Agni himself.

He had her eyes and passion but she could not shield him from Ozai all the time. Where he showed her love for all simple innocent things-he would show a blinded hate for all else. Where he would be patient with his objects-he would be disastrously angered by distractions. He would stroke the kitten-mouse softly-then punch his bobcat-puppy when it wouldn't do a certain trick. He was Ursa and Ozai and there was no amount of walks, cuddles and sweet kisses that would change that.

She had not realized how selfish she had been as a mother due to her passive aggressive measures to deal with Ozai. She had to counter his actions somehow… it was odd; how they were unable to rear their children as one unit. It was either Ozai's or Ursa's. She had had to fight blindly for her own children and even in the end…

He would win.

She had failed her-Azula-in this sense. Allowing him to win with limited fight. Azula, her poor baby who in her young womanly form peered at her through her cat-like eyes that conveyed a mind that was set in a grey area were good and bad were the same thing according to how they affected her own perceived self worth.

But she had her in the end; her baby girl. She had her in her bed, asleep and healing and away from _him._ This time, in the beginning of her hopes… he would not win.

The bitter-sweet taste of finding half her treasure bore down on her soul heavily. Azula being here signified numerous possibilities for the fate of her _little light_. One of which-weighing a ton in the arms of her heart-was that he had had his beautiful radiance extinguished by his Dark Father.

"Ngh" Azula moaned, twisting her shackled hands up above her head in an unconscious stretch before searching frantically for something beside her on the little bed. The moment her open hands made contact with the pillow-she wrenched it violently to her chest and clutched it there, as though it meant the difference between life and death.

Those shackles… she knew their purpose-to subdue the chi of a fire bender. She wanted them off her daughter but simultaneously she knew in her heart that Azula's recovery might have something to do with the lack of her sadistic prodigious gift at hand. She would find a tool or metal at the far cost three kilometres from the house and have it ready to remove the shackles anyhow. The air would do Azula good, once the stormy weather subsided they could go together then. The shore brought so many interesting pieces from the sea… lost treasures…

The little flame of her candle swayed sleepily, casting an orange glow about the room as the clouds darkened in the sky and dimmed the natural light.

She had known the storm was coming for a while now; living for so long in the testy environment had given her an exceptional weather skill. The animals were skittish and the hue of the sky had maintained darkness to it.

It was as though Mother Nature herself had been singing through the thunder, dancing through the wind and crying joyous tears through the rain at her blessing from Agni.

A soft squelching sound reverberated from the outside, causing her to sit bolt straight-every sense alerted.

It might have been an animal strayed onto her compound-a very logical thought but somehow the twisting discomfort disagreed with the logic. The candle was immediately put out and with one last look at her sleeping tortured angel; she crept through the shadows of the furniture to the living room and crouched low by the window nearing the door.

Her hand slipped under the table for her blade and she held it in her hands carefully and perpendicular, willing her heart to still so she could hear of anymore sounds outside. It might have been an animal… but that was the same thing she thought when she happened on Azula… who in her prison outfit and shackled, was a warning on all things to do with the current Fire Nation.

After a moment of silence, she tried to reassure herself it was just an animal, almost lowering her blade down with an internal laugh of how silly she had acted-sneaking about her own house like a paranoid crazy person when she heard a booming voice call out:

"Toph!"

Her blade fell instantly from her startled hands, that were shaking terribly through the velocity fuelled thrumming of her heart. The clattering of the metal on the floor was momentarily and she hoped it didn't carry out. She listened… more movement through the muddy ground in front of her house.

"Shhhh" a soft murmur and all sound besides the sighs of the rain were halted.

She quickly found the glinting metal of her weapon and picked it from the ground, securing it in her belt at her back.

"We mean you no harm" a husky female voice called. "I know you are in there… trust us…"

She thought for a second to call out that they should leave but her instincts told her sending them away would prove even more disastrous for her sleeping baby if they _were _the enemy. She rose from the floor, inhaling a deep breath and stepping out the door.

She peered through the hazy air filled with thickly wound rain sheets and saw the outlines of two people. A barefoot girl who stood near her porch allowing for closer inspection and the tall outline of a man further off that seemed naked-she prayed he was not naked.

"Our…" the girl Toph said contemplatively "Our haystack…"  
>"Toph…" the man chastised in an impatient exhale of air, although his grating deep voice changed drastically when he said her name-wrapping around it in a sort of affectionate velvety softness. He stood still and unsure at the edge of the forest hidden by distance and misty air.<p>

"Our raft got caught in the storm from two nights ago" the girl exhaled. "We mean you no harm…"

"Wont you come in?" she called, plastering a fake smile on her face and praying Azula remained asleep, quiet and invisible when they entered the house "You'll catch your death out there… storm is about to begin. I have hot tea and cakes here…"

The girl walked over to her; a short but not necessarily tiny young woman with a strong almost mannish gait that was disrupted by prominent hips and thighs into a distinct cat-like swing. Her hair was black-pure royal black and covered most of her face surely impeding her sight and her skin seemed almost translucent in its wetness. She had initially thought her weak in her small form but the walk and clothing-a ripped cloth that was a remnant of a shirt covered her chest and stopped by her waist paired with flared pants- as well as the impish grin she wore on her face made her seem perfectly at home in the wild wind and swaying trees.

"Toph" the girl murmured in her textured voice extending a hand which she took hesitantly and stared at as it gripped her own with surprising strength in its smallness. Up close she saw that the girl had clear skin marked by scratches from the jungle surely but this didn't seem to bother Toph. Like the wet strands of thick hair covering her face caused her no harm… her face… she peered behind the black curtain of hair and saw opaque eyes watching nothing and seeing everything with a dull mischievous light. She was blind…

"That there…" Toph said gesturing behind the woman's back.

She turned around violently startled by the level of stealth the man had moved across the space with and his hot heat wafting over her back. She looked up and saw all her fears drawn out on the face of the towering man dark man.

"No…" she breathed, pushing away from them both, swinging her blade from behind her back and poising it in front of her in her shaking hands. His face was immensely young and different… but she saw him in the hard muscular and yet lean structure, his height and his facial way ward hair. He was here to steal her baby again…

The girl-Toph-immediately stood between her and the bewildered Ozai, little fists pulled to her sides, lips parted and a low snarl escaping them in a possessively determined protectiveness that would have been terrifying if not for the walking nightmare before her.

"Ursa?" Ozai murmured in a half daze-a little voice screaming at her for attention and reason to the fact that he could this be an immortal doppelganger of Ozai, that his voice was to different-gone was the ambitious determined low droning tone and with it was a rough emotion filled baritone that sounded unsure and yet strong willed simultaneously. His face seemed more imposing in its youth with the hard lines behind the shaggy mane and deformed eye…

His eyes. His parted lips… oh, he was Ozai's doppelganger but the eyes were just right and the lips were perfect. Just right and perfectly hers… eyes that held every emotion bare for the world to see straight from the heart and a mouth that found truth easily and lies burning and awkward…

She dropped the blade and it clattered once more to the ground, the sharp metal causing the girl Toph to abandon her protective stance in front of her son in favour of saving her toes-and thus leaving him bare and tangible before her.

She vaguely heard the low oath escape from Toph's lips on the subject of the dropped blade.

All she could do was stand in the presence of her living light; motionless and filled with reverence.

She didn't care that he was scarcely covered by a tattered cloth around his waist or that he may be well over six foot in height. She attacked him in a desperate embrace, her arms going around his broad shoulders and attempting to snake around him and lock him by her heart forever. She tugged at him frenziedly-vaguely aware that she was chanting "My little Zuko, My little Light" to the imposing tall strong man and showered him in faithful frantic kisses.

"Ursa?" he repeated and she felt his arms go around her unsure and loose-hesitant as if it were a wicked dream.

"Its me… it's your mama… it's me…" she breathed, clasping his face violently between her calloused hands and kissing his nose and eyelids before tugging urgently at him again and attempting to fit him in her now weak arms. He allowed her this, bending so she could secure him and his own hands tightened around her back before he rose again to his height with her in his arms and had her crashing into his chest-her arms now able to wrap around his shoulders finally while her feet dangled of the ground.

"It's me…" she wailed into his hair, frantic, frenzied and delirious with unexplainable exquisite joy.

"It's you" he exhaled sharply-a gust of air he had held in his chest for her alone released finally-and she felt him shudder once before his form shook with quiet sobs. He nestled his face in her hair, breathing freely her scent and allowing his tears to fall on her-tears he had not been allowed to shed by his father released in a torrent of emotion finally.

They stood there-or rather Ursa was present in the arms of her little light-her face hidden in his unruly hair and their soft sobs filtering the stormy air.

"I'll go inside" Toph murmured to her self, her voice quivering and crackling under the weighty strains of their emotional infinite embrace. "Investigate the other heart beat…"

She disappeared into the house, the stinging sensation of the welling up tears released immediately when she entered the room with the other half of Ursa's treasures. Azula lay asleep, dreaming of her beloved older brother smiling awkwardly at her as he rowed their little make shift boat away from the danger of their world. The image forever engraved in her mind as an unknown final symbol of absolution and pure love.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hope you enjoyed this. I wrote an original piece of it, quite long and then my laptop crashed beautifully and it was forever lost so I had to rewrite it and noticed it was almost half the size of the original piece thanks to my memory summarizing details. **

**Can't wait to watch the new Avatar!**

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW YOUR LOVE FOR THE CHAPTER, LIKES, DISLIKES, SUGGESTIONS…**

**I hinted on how structured Mai and Zuko's relationship was, how Toph has a little mess to deal with in her own life and Azula's final breaking point(outside the Avatar show explanation). Will get into that.**

**Till next time…**


	19. The little House in the Jungle

"So… he was then defeated by the uh, Aangatar"

"Avatar" Toph murmured from beside me, equally engrossed in my awful recall of my life punctuated by stammers and wrong wording.

"Hmm" my mother murmured, her eyes never leaving my face-a twinkle of something beautifully comforting and flawlessly accepting in them. "You have grown so much, beyond what I could conjure here on this Island… I had faith that Agni would light your way as you had lighted my own"

"I had faith…" I rasped swallowing hard and hating the little lump in my throat that threatened to escape in a sob. I left it there, reaching for her small worn hands instead and holding them carefully in my own.

Never had a touch calmed me so, a presence erased doubts so thoroughly and a smile…

She smiled and I was at peace.

"You really saw Dragons?" she asked, sipping her tea from the little rounded wooden cup-her eyes full of corporeal life and limitless happiness

"Yes" I whispered shyly-overcome by a sort of pride I had never known at pleasing someone-pleasing this one individual in comparison to a whole nation.

"Dragon's and Avatar's" she murmured "And you are Fire Lord… a true Fire Lord who paved the way for his people through to peace…"

"I…" I stammered, staring at her hand in my own large and hairy one-the little light of pride overpowered by shame at losing my power to rebellious old men. "The coup…"

"You are so young still" she sighed her grip tightening around my hand and eyes imploring me to believe the goodness she had been whispering to me. "Young and brave…"

"They… thought that" I breathed "Since I look like Ozai…"  
>"There is nothing wrong with you looking like Ozai" she finished leaving no room for discussion-her voice prickling around his name "He is a handsome man and so are you-coupled with your exceptional soul I would say you were more handsome than…"<p>

"He is blushing isn't he" Toph chuckled, fuelling my embarrassment further and I sent her useless daggers-reminded immediately of her belittling me in the jungle.

"Yes" Ursa laughed. "A blushing Fire Lord… how can your people not love you? How can anyone fail to love such a man, eh Toph…"

"Uh…" Toph stuttered "Well, _Mai _has… and…erm…"

"Ngh…" a soft groan filtered through the warm air from behind the closed door of one room.

"Let me go help your sister up" Ursa smiled at me "Eat up… there is plenty more!"

She shuffled over to the door, throwing me one last gleaming look and soft smile before opening the door and disappearing into the room.

"So you look like Ozai, huh?" Toph asked, stirring her chunky stew stiffly.

"I guess…"

"So does Azula look like Ursa?" she asked. "Its kind of… ironic, don't you think?"

"I guess…"

"Your mother has a beautiful voice" Toph sighed. "Very calming… unlike your barb wire…"

"Why are you eating like that?" I asked her quickly before she pulled me into another fight, watching her lift her wooden spoon awkwardly to her lips-carefully-as though it weighed a ton.

"I don't want your mother to think I am a_ savage_!" she hissed, her lips parting into an unsure 'o' before bringing the still steaming food in contact with her tongue-which recoiled in pain and caused her to end up spilling some of the stew on the table.

"You are meant to _blow_ on it" I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

"You would know about blowing, now wouldn't you?" she snapped.

"Huh?" I frowned but opted to let the odd statement slide-it seemed we had not entirely forgiven each other for the fight… even though the rain had not washed away her touch on my face…

"I could stay like this _forever_" I murmured watching Toph as she tried to locate the stew she had let fall on the table-only to knock her bowl over and send some of her food over the table top.

"Could you…" she huffed "Quickly before she comes back, help me!"

"Why not just eat like Toph Bei Fong?" I asked, enjoying her discomfort.

"Why not just go stuff your _handsome face _into some…" she hissed as she quickly wiped the table with the hem of her clean shirt and then let the sentence hang before plastering a pained smile on her face and seconds later the bedroom door opened and Ursa walked out.

"Your sister can be most stubborn" she laughed freely, waltzing over to the other side of the room were the kitchen was and serving a bowl of stew.

Azula shuffled out, dressed in a navy baggy shirt, her hair bushy but clean and eyes puffy from too much sleep. She spotted me and her eyes widened before an odd crooked grin graced her lips.

"Zuko, you are here…!" she breathed, lurching forward toward me rapidly-startling me into rising from my seat in alarm. She stopped a few inches from me, and we stood there watching each other in awkward uncertainty before she reached a shackle free left hand and splayed her fingers oddly towards me-never making any contact but hovering her hand between us. A hesitant gesture that resembled wanting to touch to make sure I was tangible… or possibly interest in the feel of the odd slightly small cotton shirt I had on, with its interesting woven texture…

"Uh, yeah" I mumbled. "I am here"

"Good" she swallowed, dropping her hand and fumbling both her arms into crossing defensively over her chest. "Took you long enough"

"And that, Ladies and Gentlemen" Toph chuckled "Is how siblings embrace in the Fire Nation… you need too take a leaf out of Boomerang Brain and his sister's book…"

"I see you managed to save your urchin" Azula said nodding her head and throwing Toph a mild look of interest before looking about the room.

"Urchin?" Ursa asked, handing Azula her bowl of stew and moving her to the little kitchen table. "Azula kept mumbling about 'Zuko's Urchin' in her sleep…"

"I am not Zuko's anything" Toph grumbled, her pouting mouth reminded me-most inappropriately-of her squirming in my hold.

"So you agree you are an urchin then?" Azula asked raising an eyebrow.

"I agree that you are ungrateful to have your hands free" Toph countered and Ursa watched with abundant glee at their natural word sparring.

"They are like this" I whispered to her and my mother nodded in understanding.

"She doesn't fear Azula…" she drawled out thoughtfully, watching Toph and Azula bickering while eating. "I remember how hard it was to get a playmate for your sister…"

"Yeah…" I said softly. "No Fear Toph"

"Hmm, or you" she murmured watching me oddly as I gazed over to my sister and friend who were frowning and sticking out their tongues-Toph stuck her tongue out at Azula, ineffectively since her head was turned a few degrees off.

"Azula, I think your leg is about healed" Ursa breathed, leaning back in her seat beside me.

"Hmm" Azula murmured, not really looking at our mother. I had noted she had not properly acknowledged her but instead opted for surreptitious glances.

"The storm is out" Ursa sighed closing her eyes and almost as though it heard her, the thunder roared above us. "Toph and Azula can sleep on the bed in my room…"

"I'd rather sleep on the floor" Toph said softly.

"That is no place…"  
>"Uh, mother" it felt strange and wonderful saying that "She is an Earth Bender… she likes to be in contact with the ground, it's her way of seeing"<p>

"Oh, that's interesting, isn't it Azula" she squealed and Azula made a non committal noise from her position on the table.

"I'll be in here" I said and she smiled at me.

"You better be" Ursa laughed.

Xx~xx~xX

_The field was on fire-the smoke rising from the flowers in unsettled cloudy substance and the smell a sickly sweet aroma that clung to every air molecule maliciously._

_I watched in confusion as the lotus flowers and wild fire lilies turned black through the passing wave of fire. In seconds the whole expanse would be ashes…_

"_Zuko" Lu Ten whispered and I felt him beside me-exactly the same height as I… dressed in a white royal robe that had smudges of cinders on it._

_I turned to look at him-to face him-and cringed back when I saw his face sweating, left eye ablaze in white fumes. He seemed unperturbed by this-why would he… he was dead._

"_The field…" I cried, reaching an unsure hand towards his face but recoiling when he smiled and blood escaped his mouth. "Your face…"  
>"The secret place Zuko" he sighed warily "The secret place with all your hearts desires… the secret island…"<br>"What?"_

"_Zuko" he growled angrily "Every thing will burn… you have to take the flowers… save the flowers… before they burn in the secret pl…"_

X~x~X_  
><em> 

"Zuko" Toph urged, shaking my shoulders roughly. "You better wake up… wake up Sparky!"  
>"Huh?"<br>"It's just a nightmare... you better not burn me" she huffed, out of breathe and leaning back on the floor by the sleeping mat my mother had laid out for me.

"I would never…!" I hissed

"Right" she yawned. "Its dawn and your moans woke me up"

"Was I that loud?"

"Only to a blind Grand Master Earth Bender" she grinned, the morning sun filtering through the curtains and lighting her face.

"Azula and my mother?" I asked, rising slowly up and rubbing my eyes.

"We found them… you found your mother" she whispered, a tiny inspired smile gracing her lips "Everything is real… and asleep in the bedroom. Azula grumbles in her sleep just as bad as you!"

"She does…?"

"Yeah…" Toph said getting up from the floor and stretching a little.

"Were you…" I asked hesitantly. "You weren't here… by uh, me… for long?"  
>"No…" she frowned. "You can be entirely weird, you know that?"<p>

"So can you" I countered, getting up from the floor and busying myself with folding the seeping mat up.

"Name one weird thing I have done?" she asked

"You kept a tatty shirt of mine as a souvenir of-"

"I am going to hold a celebration of your idiocy by burning that shirt in a huge bonfire!" she hissed. "That's strike three; you better watch your back!"

"As if you could watch it for him, Little Blind Girl" Azula snickered emerging from the bedroom.

Toph stormed back into the bedroom leaving me bewildered and extremely confused by our new inability to get along for extended periods of time.

"Problems?" Azula asked, smirking.

"Oh, you are up" Ursa sighed, entering the living space and handing a suddenly silent Azula a basket. "We girls are going to go find breakfast…"  
>"Oh… okay" I smiled at her; she had a big straw hat on and was attempting place a smaller one on Azula who kept dodging the hat.<p>

"Its hot outside Azula" she breathed, giving up and harshly placing the hands in Azula's surprised hands. "Unless you want your brain to fry…"

"Already has" Azula muttered, following Ursa out and throwing me a sullen look.

Xx~xx~xX

It was quiet around the little house once the girls had left except for the soft sounds of the forest; the compound was well kept and swept, the trees lay a few metres away forming the encroaching forest and the only real disturbance was the too lose soil in the front that turned into mud at the slightest moisture increase. I walked around the house to the back were a little cage made of mesh wire held a three pigeon-chickens-well fed and fat and possibly laying lovely large eggs. Next to the cage was another cage holding two squirrel-rabbits with long flopping ears and pink noses.

It felt like a home described from an old tale that had some sort of moral message. The house was built strangely and with great ingenuity with the use of its surroundings. It probably took her a long time to manipulate into a liveable space for herself.

The sun was out and burning, all traces of a storm gone.

The inside of her little house was also well maintained, the living room crafted carefully from the odd squishy reed chairs to the wooden tables and chairs that formed the kitchen table. The very curtains were sewn with some form of thin reed strip and the clay used to plaster the walls was greyish and odourless. The kitchen had a sort of wooden dip for a sink were she probably poured water into and had to scoop out and throw outside manually…

Ursa was exceptionally adaptable…

I hesitated outside her bedroom before opening the door a little and peering inside. There was a small bed, already made and yellow curtains over a window with a little vase with sun daisies.

The bathroom would be most clever to create…

"Hey!" Toph screamed when I peered through the door, flinging a soap bar at me but I quickly closed the door, the scrubbing object whacking the door with a sharp thump.

"Argh!" I shouted through the door, leaning my head on the wood, hands shaking as they raked through my hair, my heart hammering in my chest and eyes shut tightly trying to dispel the image of her standing in the bucket-like-tub, back turned to me and completely naked.

"The hell…!" she screamed and I heard the frantic splashing of water. "What is it with you…!"

"You are the one who just… baths everywhere!" I croaked, embarrassed, angry and unnerved.

"It's a freaking _bathroom_, Zuko!" she shouted and I heard wet feet on the bare cement like floor stomping about. "I may be blind but seriously…!"

"Wouldn't you have seen me coming with your radar-feet or whatever" I stammered angrily, backing away from the door and looking around for some inkling that this was some weird dream.

"I was in _water!_" she hissed "I can't see in water, Idiot!"

"Well…" I huffed, tugging at the collar of the small shirt irritated. "You are supposed to be with Ursa and Azula!"  
>"They are having a mother and daughter bonding experience, Bug Brain!"<br>"Why were you so quiet anyway!" I said gruffly, collapsing in the soft reed chair. "I didn't really see anything anyway; your back was facing…!"

"Oh that's too _bad_" she laughed sarcastically and I heard the door open but remained hidden on the couch "Your apology sucks, you know"

"I am sorry" I mumbled but all I heard was an impatient huff and the banging of the bedroom door.

Xx~xx~xX

"We need to build a boat" I murmured and Ursa nodded in understanding.

"I thought so" she said smiling her smile. "And I think you won't have to build one from scratch"

"Or with twigs" Azula muttered, cutting jagged pieces of papaya-guava angrily.

"I saw a broken down but fixable sturdy boat at the east coast" Ursa said "There is a lot of metal scrap on one shore… washed up"

"That is…" I sighed. "That is great!"

"Yes, well" Ursa said uneasily "It's not that simple…"

"It's a good thing we never do things the simple way then" Toph murmured.

"The scrap is on the east cost and we can get there fairly easily… little disruption…" she released a heavy breath "But the boat is _in _the jungle by the east cost… a kilometre or so deep…"

"Then we'll haul it out" Toph grinned.

"She can bend metal" I explained Toph's enthusiasm. "It will be fairly easy for her…."

"No, I don't doubt that…" Ursa smiled at Toph's excitement "What worries me is… the area there is teeming with wild life, difficult terrain…."  
>"Been there, done that" Toph grinned wider.<p>

"And panther-lions" Ursa finished and Toph's smile faltered. "Wild territorial giant cats that don't know of humans… it's dangerous but I can think of no other way if you are to get of the island. Building a new boat… it wont survive the storms out on the sea surrounding this cloaked mass of land… you'll be shipwrecked instantly"

"Well" Azula breathed. "it's settled then… Zuko and I will go fetch the boat and Urchin and… uh, Ursa will go over to the scrap yard"  
>"I think it would make more sense for Zuko and Toph to bring the heavy<em> metal <em>and wood boat to the shore by us, Azula" Ursa smiled at Azula "Toph's seeing abilities would be most useful in that dark dense jungle"

As long as she doesn't stop to take a bath…

"Zuko, what do you think?" Ursa asked.

"I think it's a … plan?"

"It's a plan" Toph said sternly, voice full of conviction and excitement.

"I suppose" Azula droned indifferently.

"So we go out in two groups and we'll meet at the east shore" I confirmed and my mother nodded once.

"I have a map…" she murmured, reaching into a small bag. "It will make it easier…"

"Easier when it comes to giant man eating cats, that is" Azula finished.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I am so pleased you caught my little symbolisms tomboy26! That chapter was essential into giving Ursa characterization and her way of viewing things. Glad the emotion of the moment was felt.**

**There might be some slight OOC'ness here but that would happen as the characters are impacted by different things. Zuko and Toph's attraction for each other keeps boiling up and escaping into abrupt fighting as they refuse to deal with it but try to carry out like everything is cool and we are just awesome buddies. Zuko has an effect on Toph and she hates it. Toph has an effect on Zuko and it embarrasses him slightly.**

**We'll see the two strained relationships of Zuko-Toph and Ursa-Azula next chapter.**


	20. When Secret Desires Burn

**THE SECRET PLACE Part 1: When Secret Desires Burn**

"And here we are again" I laugh hesitantly and Toph responds with an indifferent frown, charging ahead through the forest and blindly swinging the sturdy wood staff-my mother gave it to her to ward of her using her hands-to clear a path.

"I am truly sorry about the… bathroom… incident" I mutter.

"Hmm"

"I should probably lead though" I say softly-carefully. "Seeing as how… I can uh, see the map"

She stops, lifts her shoulders up tensely and lets them drop in resignation all while breathing out a heavy irritated breath.

"Lead then" she murmurs coolly.

"Uh…" I smile uneasily at her-hating and loving that she can't see my nerves playing out before us. I move carefully around her, reaching for my one sword and slicing at the vegetation, walking slowly and in silence until we come across the narrow pathway Ursa indicated on the map.

"Right, we have to follow the path north-east" I murmur and Toph makes a non committal sound.

Another twenty minutes of walking and all I have managed to get from her is an angry huff.

"Maybe…" I say slowly, my chest already constricting. "Maybe we need to talk about the uh, purple berry incident when I…"  
>"When you thought I was trying to poison you" she breathes impatiently. "Why do you have to be chatty right this minute… can't you just <em>lead<em> in _silence_?" 

"You are usually the chatty one and the role reversal is confusing"

"I have a lot on my mind" she says icily.

"Talking usually…"

"Don't even finish that statement, Zuko" she laughs sardonically "You are not qualified to give advice on that"

"I know I don't uh, talk… but I am going out of my mind coming up with my own conclusions as to why you either don't want to talk to me or you want to fight!"  
>"Hmm, what conclusions have you come up with?"<br>"Uhm…" I stammer, wishing I was Sokka at this very minute-smooth and an abrupt fool when it comes to words. "I licked your fingers"

I got the abrupt fool right.

"Like I said before, you are weird" she says precariously.

"Why…" I begin but the resilient lump in my chest makes the words feel like a confession to murdering kitten-mouse babies rather than a simple question.

Its just Toph Bei Fong… my one and only friend, aside from Aang and his abundant array of air nomad philosophies… nothing to worry about, I can say this… its nothing sinister. She just touched my face after I lodged my naked thigh between her thighs…

I close my eyes and it's at that moment the image of the frame of her sleek curvy naked back surfaces after I had successfully managed to push it away for a good ten seconds; full force and with extreme detail of water droplets, cream supple skin, the dip of her back-she had to be deformed, no woman should have a dip that _defined_-and her black hair cascading over her shoulders…

"Okay, now I am interested… that thumping heart…!" she laughed and I opened my eyes, realizing I had halted our steady pace up the snaking little path, my breath hitching past the lump in my chest.

"Why did you touch my face…?" I whisper quickly through the air of the green tinted dimness, hidden in the shadows of the lush greenery from the world and left on trial in front of this one being. I couldn't finish the sentence, add the little bit of why her fingers had to have been so soft, her ghosting skin on my own so tantalizingly slow…

"Oh" she said, a soft sound fleeting through the cool natural air.

"I…" she breathed. "I wanted to know… what you looked like. I am sorry, I should have… asked maybe?"

"Oh, uh… it just erm" I resumed walking steadily up the inclination with a little sideways glance towards her. "I was curious. Makes sense now…"

"You found your mum" she murmurs after a tense ten minutes of silence and walking. "That's amazing"

"Yeah, it is..." I sigh, relieved the thick cloud of uncomfortable alertness to her presence has been lifted "I feel like I am dreaming"

"Azula seems… conflicted" she says.

"Well, Azula…" I want to laugh but a bitter taste fills my mouth at the memory of my sisters black and white thwarted view on the world from long before Ozai became Fire Lord.

"Azula was always Ozai's" I finish. "Not just his favourite child, his favourite family member… his only family. Even when things were normal… it was just her. I don't know why it was like this for Azula because… we never really had a Sokka and Katara relationship of just spewing emotions; hugging every time we saw a cloud and joking innocently"

"Azula would never cook me a meal" I laugh causing some hidden animal in the bushes to jump and scuttle away into the dark jungle surrounding the path. "Unless she had some motive…"

"Which would be to hurry up your entrance to the after life" Toph says sombrely. "Man, I am glad it's just Toph Bei Fong in my family"

"Yeah…" I sigh. "Things seemed normal for us back then… you have to understand. It had begun with Sozin I think, ambition and wanting to live forever through your children or something…"

"So you turn them into soldiers from a young age?" Toph whispers, enthralled and a little spooked.

"Something like that" I frown. "I was… spoilt according to Ozai. My mother spoilt me. So when Azula was born, he wanted to right that little mistake. It didn't help matters that she was exceptional and had a somewhat _curious social disability_"

"Three words to describe psychotic, Sparky"

"Maybe…" I laugh. "I mean, Azula had to have playmates assigned to her. It was a very prestigious thing… because Ozai would make note of the families and such."

"Did you have playmates assigned to you?"

"No" I tell her "My mother had been… she had been my _everything_. I hadn't noticed… that I didn't really have friends. I was always okay being just me"

"Me too" Toph says quietly. "But it was nice when I did manage to play with some kids… the workers kids really"

"Yeah, I played with Azula…" the forest seems to grow thicker and darker the deeper we moved through it. "Or more accurately she used me for amusement purposes for her and her friends"

"Man, that's… rough"

"I guess" I sigh, snatching at some leaves from a bush. "But I wouldn't have met Mai otherwise"

"You didn't meet anyone else?… wait, Mai was your _only _girlfriend?" she asks her voice loud and disbelieving.

"Well, yeah…" I laugh. "It's hard to explain…"

"But surprisingly not hard to believe" Toph murmurs, walking beside me and grinning widely.

"Is it just me or the forest is getting quieter" she adds, frowning a bit.

"We must be scaring all the wild life"  
>"Good" she grumbles. "All the scampering on the ground can be distracting."<p>

"About Mai…" she urges, twiddling her walking stick.

"Oh, yes… uhm, there was no other logical choice. No other girl in nobility really, it was always just Mai…"

"Man, talk about lack of selection and choice huh"  
>"Choice?" I laugh, thinking about how I had only ever had a crush on Mai with no memory of any other girl-Ty Lee and Azula's other playmates were so… "It never came up…"<p>

"Maybe because you were never presented with another option" Toph says seriously.

The fact that Mai had been the only girl who didn't irritate me, the only girl allowed on the palace grounds and to interact with Ozai's children… I don't want to think about it. It felt like a dark cage that held some terrible beast and opening it would mean releasing an uncontrollable monster. Mai… it was always Mai… it will always be Mai… I could not think of possible other 'options' that didn't even exist…

"Yeah, Maybe" I mutter, trying to ignore the thick cloud that had returned, shadowing us and simultaneously scrutinizing everything we did.

"The jungle is very quiet" Toph says, her voice hollow. "Too quiet… I can't really feel anything around…"  
>"It's like you said…" I say gruffly my mood turning suddenly from the light feeling that came with talking freely with Toph to the realisation that this was all temporary "We have scared the animals for the better good"<br>"Hmm"

We travel further into the interior of the island in silence after this, Toph humming a tone I had heard Uncle singing and the tree canopies turning our daylight into darkness.

Xx~xx~xX

"Is it me…?" Toph murmurs, whacking the vegetation in front of her uselessly while I laboriously slice through the majority of the thick green and brown wall "Or does this seem way too easy … with how your mother described it. I mean she was dead right about the terrain but I was expecting boom and doom…"

"She did say the animals aren't used to people" I huff, already sweating from the effort of cutting the thick vines and branches that cover the path. "They have only encountered one person and now there is one and a half…"  
>"You being the half?" she frowns.<p>

"You are…" I breathe hard, swinging the blade side ways and grabbing at rough twigs and pulling them down. "Half my height"

"No, I am not" she says softly. "Maybe two thirds…"

"Okay then" I heave stopping to wipe my brow and pause her unhelpful blind whacking "One and two thirds…"

"When did you get funny?" she grumbles.

"When you got moody"

Xx~xx~xX

"Wait" Toph says sharply. "Okay, I know it was quiet but this is just ridiculous"  
>"You stopped our trekking over these cursed mouldy rocks to complain about our acoustic reception?"<p>

"That's a very Sokka thing to say!" she grins and I frown at the memory of her crush on him "Except… more… intelligent or something. Almost missed the joking with your _deep grating_ monotone…"

"Wasn't joking" I grumbled. "You really stopped us to…"

"The rocks are tricky" she sighs. "It's more up hill after the brush up ahead… but these rocks are a death trap"  
>"What do you suggest we do?" I all but groan, sitting on a rock.<p>

"I suggest we let the Grand Master lead…" she grins, pushing her hands in front and making a quick jerking movement-palms facing out. The rocks pull back-the entire expanse of giant stones on the steep unstable expanse of wet soil push backwards defying gravity as if a strong magnet is at the top of the hidden little hill.

The earth folds and twists-the grass disappearing and remerging with a coat of top soil and confused worms.

She then turns her hands in and pushes in opposing directions and the rocks part a little, forming a path that is rock and rubble free-with boulders for ledges.

"That was…" I breathe.

"Cool" she beams.

"I was going for helpful"

"Argh" she groans storming up. "Here I was thinking we had made progress with the humour and general worldly experiences…!"  
>"My humour is fine…"<p>

"You run to help people when they fall Zuko!" she huffs

"That's what _good honourable_ people are supposed to do…" I shrug recalling the memory of her and Sokka bowling over when a particularly old irritating man had tripped on a rock during our pre-war victory journeys through a small town…

"No, people are supposes to take a moment to laugh at the loser that fell before running to them!"

"He tripped on a rock?" I whisper remembering one of Toph's _new Grand Master Tricks_

"Let's hurry" she laughs. "With this up hill, the down hill journey will be a piece of cake…"

"You are evil…!"  
>"So is your sister and dad" she chuckles. "You really should stop getting surprised by it…!"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

The boat is massive. It's a fairly new version of the Fire Nation battle ships, with metal under panelling meant to deter penetration from attacks and various fitted improvements. It probably got wrecked after a typical Sokka planned Fire Nation attack, maybe even during the time I was on their side…

The intense hurricanes my mother told us of probably spun it through the jungle or something.

"It's bottom… I can feel it" Toph murmurs. "Metal?"  
>"Metal" I whisper.<p>

"Our day just got better, Sparkly Pants"

"I told…" I want to say that I told her not to call me that but this rekindled easy friendship I had known with her in our brief youth is too valuable to end up fighting and pushing each other up on trees…

"How bad is the damage" she asks. "I can kind of see with all the metal but the wood gets in the way…"  
>"Not bad…" I say in awe staring at the structure. "A bit of panel beating… mending the bottom were the metal got gauged by… something… the wood… nothing you and I can't do together"<p>

"Yeah" she grins widely-a Toph side ways grin, her cheeks forming little round fruit "We get it to the beach for the scrap…"

"And we are good to go…" I say smiling painfully as realisation dawns on me. "Good to go… back… to…"

"Things" she finishes. "Let's… work on getting some kind of wheels on this baby so we don't damage it on our journey to the beach"

"Yeah"

Xx~xx~xX

"Are you ready to go back" I ask her, passing her a large sheet of some form of durable metal. She picks it up easily although I had to drag it through the long grass.

"No, not particularly" she sighs, bending the metal sheet in half three times.

"Me neither" I breathe, relieved to share this feeling with her.

"Well, I kind of left unfinished business there… or rather delayed it and now I have to face the music" she huffs, folding the metal further before causing it to lift in the air eerily and bending in it into a giant ball.

"Get me another sheet" she instructs before I can enquire further. "Something of the top… just remember that we have to put it all back…"

"Of course" I say, jumping agilely over the jutting out under part of the boat to the rail. I watch her from above-standing in the tall grass and banging the make shift wheel to the boat, gnawing her lip in concentration… the thought that I would have to carry on from were I left…

"Here" I hand her the sheet and she repeats the procedure.

"What… music did you leave?"

"With my life" she breathes, pushing the giant ball into the metal pin with effort. I know better than to offer my assistance with the heavy structure.

"It's just everything that happened…" she sighs, rising from her squatting position over the new wheel.

"Everything being _my_ messed up life?" I say trying to keep it light.

"Well, partly" she smiles a little. "My staying in the Fire Nation after the bombings… was slightly _personal_" 

The lump is back and with it a host of new ailments ranging from sweaty heated hands, a heart threatening to jump out of my chest, an impossibly dry mouth and tunnel vision.

"I was supposed to return to Gaoling" she lets out a quick breath.

"Me too" I breathe simultaneously

"What… you were supposed to return to Gaoling?" she asks and my brain begins receiving blood and oxygen again-alerting me to the fact that I heard something entirely imagined.

"No, uh… just…" I pull at the collar again and wipe my brow. "Continue"

"You are weird" she frowns. "Heart rate increased…"  
>"Continue!" I snap. "What was…"<br>"Gees" she laughs. "You expecting your period or… all these mood shifts are…"

"Toph, just…" Agni gave me the silver lining in letting this embarrassing moment happen in an unpopulated dense jungle.  
>"My mother has this… she planned this …" she grumbles leaning back on the boat. "Coming of age ball thingy… tradition for… young noble Earth Nation rich girls"<p>

"That's the real reason finishing school was nonnegotiable" she finishes, closing her eyes.

"Well that's great!" I laugh in sweet relief, thinking of an infinite number of alternate reasons a person would have to 'face the music'.

"You know little of Earth Nation tradition, I see" she snaps, scowling violently.

"It's just a coming of age celebration… that you are an uh, woman…now" I say confused. "I mean the Fire Nation does that for… both genders. Hmm, we are the most gender equal nation and maybe…"

"King Kuei has a son" she exclaimed through my rambling.

"The skinny kid from…?"  
>"Yeah, him"<p>

"That's nice?" I smile a little, entirely confused and nervous at her changed volatile and yet vulnerable behaviour.

"Isn't it" she laughed cynically, walking around the boat to place wheels on the other side.

"You know" she sighs, squatting down and feeling the underside of the boat. "It was beautiful being a kid."

"Not for me" I mutter.

"Yeah… not for you" she laughed. "I was blind and hidden from the world. I was ignorant and spoilt. I had never helped another person… and hated being helped. It was easier, Zuko… not understanding the world, not understanding the consequences of actions… because back then… I could justify them with anger at being blind and hidden"

"But now…" she says softly. "Now that I understand why some things are done… and that things are not black and white… it makes it harder to be…"

"What's going on Toph" I whisper uneasily, watching slightly panicked as she squirms under the boat to pull on something.

"With regard to King Kuei's son" she calls from under the boat. "The amount of dishonour any girl would bring to her family to deny him as a… betrothed"

"You are not betrothed" I say sombrely.

"Not yet" she heaved, crawling back out. "That's what the ball is for"

"You… you don't have to do it then" I say angrily pacing in front of her.

"Like I was saying" she murmurs. "It's harder to be ignorant and rebellious when you aren't a spoilt blind kid with the most outstanding bending just having fun and pissed at your parents. It's harder when you have learnt to help others, accept help from others, and understand that each action has ramifications…" 

"There will be other suitor's, that's the whole point of you having the ball for… suitors to vie for…!" I say dryly, momentarily pleased that I had given her a choice but the victory was short lived by the nauseating acid churning in my stomach at the thought of 'other suitors' or any suitors… it made me want to punch something, someone… King Kuei's acne riddled brat…

"But only one choice" she finished, laughing. "Like you… I have been presented with two options-Mai or Mai…"

"It isn't like that!"  
>"Isn't it…?" she laughs.<p>

She crouches again, reaching for a thick metal pipe from somewhere in the shadows of the boat's under belly and starts bending. I watch hypnotised and derailed.

It isn't like with Mai. I had chosen Mai… Mai was my girlfriend. I had asked her. hadn't I pursued her… it was I… the fact that she had been Azula's playmate… the fact that she had been the only girl allowed on the premises or…

I loved her. Choice… I hated the word.

"It really isn't so bad" she laughs uneasily, possibly feeling the mosaic of constricting emotions fuming out of my pores.

Choice…

"I am blind so looks don't matter" she chuckled. "My hand maiden says he isn't much of a looker…" 

"No he isn't!"

"Okay, ignoring why you were checking him out" she says sardonically and moves swiftly over my out burst. "It's cool… I'll entertain him and bring 'Great Honour' to the Bei Fong house for as long as I can keep it… cool" and then she finishes with an icy "… I mean,_ everyone_ else is getting _married _soon"

"You are marrying that unworthy so you won't be left out…?" I snarl. "That is idiotic, you… you are young!"

"We are all young!" she counters, rising angrily and rounding on me. "And if it comes to that then it will be like having a 'pocket husband'"

"A pocket husband… what in Agni's name does that even mean!"

"It means it isn't so bad to be adored…" she mutters the rest inaudibly before rounding on me again.

"It isn't really set in stone now is it, and why are you so concerned!" she takes a step forward, invading the large personal space I need in my tempered body.

"You could just be rebellious old Toph…" I say hoarsely and swallow hard. "That's all you know… why comply with… so what if Kuei is angered, he is just a… King.

"You never do listen properly" she persists, taking another step. "But tell me why it's so bad if it happens?"

"I… you should be happy not following through with your mothers ambitions"  
>"You are following through with Mai's mothers ambitions" she says sharply. "With what you had been set up for since birth"<p>

"That's not… it's different" I snap.

"Why?"

"I actually know and love Mai!" I snarl and she recoils back-pain fleeting over her face in quick flashing slides before she twists her expression into unreasonable violence, taking a livid threatening step forward.

"You are just… if you do this… adding another title to your Grand Master Lady Bei Fong…" I say softly, lacing the words with regret.

I stumble back, bending over when her fist makes contact with my stomach hard.

"Ngh..." I groan, my hand going over my middle and little globes of light-signalling concentrated pain-go of in my head and interrupt my vision.

"You want a repeat fight" I grumble through the subsiding pain

"I asked a question and what I _want _is an answer" she says dangerously softly-mock patience dripping in her voice. "Why on the Avatar's tattooed behind do you care so much"  
>"I am your friend" I rasp, rising uneasily to my full height but that doesn't deter her from taking another step. She is blind and doesn't care for any physical implied warnings and she is <em>Toph<em>.

"A friend who is getting married" she says, raising a thick eyebrow up. Before, I had thought she was intimidating with her face hidden behind her hair, but after Ursa convinced her to tie her hair back… her beauty has been turned into a weapon.

"Is this about me marrying Mai?"

"It is about you having a similar situation and taking the only choice _blindly_… and then trying to be a hypocrite about it" she laughs scathingly.

"You don't really know him…" I grumble, feeling liking crying and screaming simultaneously.

"I do" she says seriously. "I was teaching him… Earth Bending…and well… he isn't so bad"

"So what?" I gasp, my throat dry and painful, the heat lost all over my body with no specified exit. "He is your _boyfriend_ or something?" 

"Friend" she sighs her lips quirking to the side like the title of friend was still too much to describe it…

"You are acting jealous, Zuko" she murmurs, tilting her head thoughtfully to one side.

"I have Mai" I say huffing grandly and yet struggling to keep in control… remembering how delicate each answer would be with a heart so treacherous to the all knowing lie detector before me.

"Mai…" she says smiling a little "the one answer to all your questions"

"You haven't even had a boyfriend, Toph" I hiss.

"You don't know that" she says. Folding her arms over her chest… the picture of calm-always refusing to match me in turmoil…

"Sokka told me…" I growl. "He told me how you were in love with him"

She remains quiet, lips a hard line and breathing levelled-a stark comparison to my laboured difficult breathing and twitching fingers. Could she not let loose this once, drop her guard like I had unwittingly disabled my own. Did I have to do it for her…

"Suki might have mentioned at one time, I might have the details wrong… that you kissed her thinking it was_ him_…" I continue my sadistic need to rattle her like she was unknowingly doing to me. I feel unbalanced-a very similar feeling to the realization I had had that my title as Fire Lord was not _appreciated_ by most…

It felt like she had the controls to my mind; as though she had _infiltrated_ my heart and lodged the image of her face from the night before my inaugural ceremony _permanently _there and with each thump my heart gave, her face flashed behind my eyelids, in front of my eyes… torturing me and taunting my soul and heart, wringing my emotions…

And she thinks it's going to be okay for her to just go around having suitors and marrying some spoilt brat on a whim… when I feel like this… when I feel selfishly and dangerously this way… when I play a game I used to lose to Azula so perfectly.

"Is this the last resort?" I whisper.

She launches herself from the spot; hands clawed out and voice a husky roar through the forest. Birds fly up in the air from the high trees surrounding the clearing as she collides with me; snarling, hissing and scratching at my face.

"Stop!" I hiss, rolling us over so she is under me, pulling her arms away from my face and pinning them on her sides. "You really think you would win without bending…"  
>Her leg comes up to my groin and I roll off of her in pain, curling into a foetal position in the grass, my hands between my legs.<p>

"No, actually" she says out of breathe, rising shakily before kneeling by my head and pushing her fingers into my hair. "I _know _I can win without bending a pebble"

"You have no right to be mad, Zuko" she says softly right by my ear, her fingers clawing at my scalp painfully before they fist and grab the roots of my hair possessively-dominantly.

"_You_ have no right to make me _feel_…" I shout flinging her hand away with aggression parallel to my _derangement._

I crawl away from her and watch as she gets up slowly from the ground in coordination with my own slow rising.

"Make you feel?" she asks in a small voice but somehow it intimidates me-making the question impossible to dismiss.

"Make me feel, make me want… why did you have to_ touch_ me?" I shout, hating how the little spectres of the hidden emotions-dangerous hidden emotions-start escaping uncontrolled. "Why did you have to hold me… on the boat… like you needed me?"

"We were …drowning" she says softly while I pace in front of her, hands pulling at my hair , frowning, grimacing and shaking my head in total loss of control.

"If you _knew _Toph… that you would return to Gaoling after…" I cry "Then why…"  
>"I did nothing" she snaps.<p>

"You are guilty" I say in false conviction

"And what is the crime Zuko?" she laughs derisively, her own hands twitching at her sides. "Because my blindness is impeding my sight on this _grave_ injustice!"

"You…"  
>"I did nothing, I didn't <em>seduce<em> you… if that's what you are implying!" she screams. "I _rescued you_… I was your _friend…_and… and… nothing even _happened_! You are just angry that I wasn't waiting on _you _like with Sokka… Toph the kid, Toph the hopeless…"

"You made me _love_ you!" I shout back.

"You just…!" she pauses, her eyes wide and apprehensive.

"I… it just came out it…" I stammer "I didn't… mean..."

"Shhhh!" she shushes quickly, gulping involuntarily before reaching behind her for her pony tail, letting her hair loose to cover her red tinted eyes.

"We have four legged company surrounding us" she says hoarsely. "You can tell me about that…"

"Forget it, don't say it… it was a rash… I was upset" I say gruffly, turning to face the forest

"Get up on the boat" she instructs.

The bushes come alive with movement from various points around the circular encroachment of trees; shadows moving through darkness and low growling announcing us to the presence of something fierce.

"Give me your hand" I instruct and she waves it a little in the air before I get hold of it and pull her up swiftly.

"We are surrounded" she breathes. "Good time to get pissed and burn something don't you think…?"

"You are going to have to tell me the way" she says "I can't see and…"

"Of course"

The lion-panthers saunter out of the darkness; large cats with imposing teeth, yellow eyes of fire and fur bristling with short tuft hairs-an entire muscle riddled form all held up on padded paws tipped with yellow claws. They circle the boat slowly, bristling, hackles raised and lip curled over formidable natural weaponry.

Its easy to feel the burn, the flames come hard and lick at my sides in orange and red passion.

Xx~xx~xX

"Go left!" I shout, but she swerves late-the boat colliding with a lion-panther and veering right instead. They are everywhere and all I can do is keep them from jumping on board the rolling boat captained by a blind girl. The beasts don't appreciate having their fur burnt, springing along the boat furiously and with terrifying determination… more than fifteen giant snarling and spitting cats…

"Argh….!" Toph shouts. "I think I squished one!"

"That's a good thing!" I laugh manically. "If you knew how big…"  
>"Oh, I saw how big they are through the ground" she says, her hands fisted and stiff in front of her-controlling the metal frame and wheels.<p>

"And fierce" I add, flinging a boomerang shaped flame in the air that collided with a leaping lion-panther. "They wont stop… we have to… form a wall"  
>"Well" she says mockingly "Seeing as how I am busy here and can't reach out for some dirt and…"<p>

"A fire wall" I say softly. "Watch out…!"

"Where!" she hisses, randomly picking a direction and luckily missing a tree.

"Left… sharp…" this was difficult; watching our wild path while keeping the death cats at bay.

We push forward over a rumbling bumpy road before going through a thick green bushy wall, shouting and hollering over the roars of the lion-panthers and emerging in an expanse of light. A clearing of vast magnitude, filled with fire-lilies and lotus flowers.

"The Fire-Wall Zuko" she shouts. "The air is clear, I can smell it…. It's a clearing isn't it…! Do it now…!"

"No, it's the secret place…with all my heart…" I say softly, watching in horror as the dark beast follow us in the red and green carpet.

"Do it!" she screams. "Burn them!"

I jump on the ledge, balancing like the skilled warrior that I was over the unsteady movements of our boat-cart and fling my arms to the left in a sharp motion. The fire storms out of me after being kept at bay for too long… burning the flowers immediately and I watch as the hungry inferno spurts out before me-out of my finger tips-in gallons and drowns the impossible compilation of earth and fire bellow in my own uncontrolled hay wire chi-burning immediately and forming an impenetrable wall between us and the unwelcoming owners of the island.

**AUTHORS NOTE: thank you for all the reviews and love!**

**On the subject of the grammar-having no Beta sucks in that regard. I try not to randomly click on the spell check after a late coffee fuelled night of finishing a chapter and proof reading only once. No excuse, I shouldn't rush to update without properly reading through things but I tend to want to add on when I reread so quickly uploading is my safety.**

**A second mind map of the story is drawn out and I have the ending in sights but all the dialogue, over thinking and emotions will put a few chapters between the end and now. I had wanted to write this chapter back to back with Azula and Ursa but… fifteen thousand words seemed like an eye sore. I had said the rating would change earlier but kept it T for as long as I could keep things nice and safe but…**

… **some pent up hormones are going to play out in the future which is near-I think it is essential to uhm, the story and not just… for_ just._ So if you are under age… the M rating will… you know what it will do so… apologies in advance.**

**I try not to ramble in Authors note and only say the necessary but this chapter was painful to write and I need to release some struggles that may confuse people.**

**Toph being blind would makes her rely on hearing heart beats and her lie detecting capabilities a little too much and then she is blind to facial expressions and all of that so when I was writing this, I had to double over everything I had written in a sort of 'Toph Perspective' of not knowing what the words being said meant in context to sudden change in heart beat and voice pitch. And if she is vulnerable when it comes to Zuko-the _worst case scenario_ would always be her first conclusion to the confusion. Also, the whole coming of age ball-would Toph Bei Fong agree to such…? And if she did why would she…? **

**Zuko is conflicted. That's his personality unfortunately. Obsessive and unpredictable… even to him self. He wants to get Toph's old familiar and free friendship back now that things are looking up, works hard on it by talking and revealing himself and his family more in detail and she ends up opening up too but he really can't handle the realisation that she isn't exclusively noticed by him and the days of their limited youth have past (Being Physically aware of someone makes for a torturous friendship)... That she won't be his 'Pocket Toph'. And then he resorts to playing turning tables because being _that_ vulnerable is terrifying… **

**I had thought it would be Toph to blurt out the confession of the heart but it just made sense that Zuko would do it. Zuko, the unbalanced known for saying some nasty things in anger of his vulnerability- how he treated Iroh in the series at one point.**

**As soon as this is done, would love to do an Ursa/Ozai story**

**That concludes that, next chapter is Azula and Ursa and the conclusion of this. See you then!**


	21. The Angel that Fell

**THE ANGEL THAT FELL**

"How does it feel to have your hands free?"

She doesn't get it… she doesn't understand why Toph freed her hands from the elemental shackles. Was it some sort of mind trick… give you an inch and then see what you do with it; possibly so they can ease their conscious when they throw her in a dark dungeon or push her of a cliff…

"Are you putting that ointment I gave you… on your wrists?" Ursa continues, never desisting with her steady stream of questions. Always looking for a response, never satisfied with just walking over this _stupid _sandy road on the edge of the jungle, along the coast in silence. At least she knows were Zuko got it from-all this _lets talk and share, grab a tissue and wipe snot and tears…_

She goes quiet but Azula knows better than to think it is because she has given up on trying to talk to her, to get her to spill on some classified information… she is just working on a new string of questions to sing to her until they get to this _scrap yard._

She could just incapacitate her right this very minute… but that would be counter productive when Zuko and Urchin arrive with the ship and Azula has Zuzu's mother bundled up-his physical hope tied up at the base of a tree. She knows it in her heart, there is no need to elaborate on the feeling or delve to deep into it-she won't ever be able to fight fire against Zuko.

Not to say she doubts her skill, not to say she fears her own blue flames… but striking him square in the chest that day, that stupid accursed day, had splintered something inside her and although it had not broken off from her soul, it had changed her.

He had jumped to save the girl. He had jumped to save the Water Peasant… he had willingly sacrificed his life for her, against… his sister.

_All is fair in love and war._

He was stupid. It had nothing to with her that he got some high from having lightning coursing through his veins.

Stupid Zuko and his stupid mother… making her feel… _stupid._

"I once went for a walk with you when you were young" Ursa murmurs after ten minutes of giving Azula side glances, smiling a little from beside her-the straw hat hiding her eyes but Azula can imagine the twinkling _stupidity _that would be there.

"Did you put a leash on me?" she asks-blurts out-but quickly stops her self from adding _because I was such a monster, still am…_

"Do you remember the Palace gardens?" Ursa asks in a sort of singing voice-the voice she uses on Zuko, the 'You have the mental capacity of a four year old' voice.

Azula grumbles, kicking sand so it goes up in the air in a beige grainy dust cloud and covers their sandals and feet. Ursa doesn't comment on that or jump away from the dirt-she just walks right through it like Sunshine Poodle-Ponies and Avatar's rule the world-what's a little dust to ones feet?

"The gardens had Turtle-Ducks then, do you remember" Ursa sighs, twirling her thick reed basket. "They would be in the ponds… quacking…."

"As Turtle-Ducks do" Azula groaned, rolling her eyes and pulling her straw hat more securely over her head.

"Yes, I went with you for a walk anyway" she smiles "Ozai didn't know this… he didn't like it when you did things your own age. You walked with too much intelligence; you didn't run around to see all the little animals around the garden… I was walking through the gardens with this little person I knew so little of although I had carried her inside me for nine months…"  
>"Can you keep your memories to yourself?" Azula hisses.<p>

"…this little person who had so many impenetrable barriers, who wouldn't hold my hand and stared up at me with strange familiar eyes and asked me if we were going to the training grounds to do some fire bending"

"Do you remember the blue bush?" Ursa asked Azula who was grimacing in pain under her hat. She nodded brusquely, wishing the torture would end soon. She knew the memory-when Ursa had come to get her after her writing lessons and she had some without _Zuko_-and Azula had been so happy about that because although she amazed everyone else, Ursa never worshipped her the way she did Zuko. It was her time to be watched and cuddled-but as they had walked, she didn't understand it or know what to do. It felt stupid wanting to be cuddled…

"It is… it is still there" Azula murmured. "The bush… in the garden."

"Hmm" Ursa sighed. "The squirrel-rabbits that lived under it… they were so adorable. You wouldn't pet them, said they were _contaminated!_"

Ursa laughed, ignoring Azula's discomfort and sighed "What four year old says the word _contaminated _with such knowledged understanding…!"

"A gifted four year old" Azula growled. "Do not laugh at me… I warn you"  
>"What four year old goes around <em>warning <em>adults" she chuckled.

"I am not four…!"

"When I tried insisting you try petting the little babies, thinking you were just scared of them-Zuko had been scared of the Turtle-Ducks once-and I thought you just had to overcome your fear, you got angry and…"

"Burnt the pretty little bunny to death" Azula finished in a small echoing voice. "There was red on my hands"

"And what did you say when I gasped…?" Ursa asked her.

"When you screamed and jumped away from the dead bunny?" Azula asks dazed, holding her clean unshackled hands out in front of her-palms facing up-expecting to see the blood. "When you jumped away from _me _ and I saw it in your eyes for the first time…"  
>"You said Azula" Ursa interrupts her hypnotized recall. "You told me that Father said the strong draw blood from the weak and it was okay. You were strong…"<p>

"I was strong and a monster" Azula finished-a low growl-violently pushing her hands down at her sides, fists clenching and her demented control fighting to keep the fire at bay.

"You are strong and misinformed" Ursa murmured.

"Ozai made you bleed countless times" Azula hissed scathingly, revelling in the power she feels when Ursa shrinks back from that-like she had just been slapped.

"You bled in front of your tea party guests, right between your legs..." Azula laughs. "How disgusting"

"The weak bleed" Azula says her head held up. "And you bled all over the place, countless times and your cursed bleeding and bruises made Zuko weak too"

"But _you_-Princess Azula- remained strong through all of that" Ursa murmurs.

"I never cried when he beat you for your indiscretions, for killing the baby" Azula murmured, smirking at Ursa's teary eyes. "I understood that… there needs to be order, discipline and _perfection_"

"You are weak Ursa" she continued, relentlessly pushing at the vulnerable bruised flesh of the past "Sprawled on the floor like a bag of beans, bruised and battered… unable to get up when commanded without the help of a wailing weak son…"

"Ozai's words come out of your mouth!" Ursa shrieked. "I want to hear your words, Azula…!"

"You were trying to make me weak with your pitiful form, but I saw through you guise" Azula finished nonchalantly-feeling an odd lost strength return to her as Ursa failed to hide her pain-her weakness.

"Feeling pity is weakness?" Ursa asked, her voice bubbling with moisture.

"Of course" Azula laughed sharply. "Pity gets in the way of doing the right thing for the greater good!"  
>"Did you never wonder why he beat me?" Ursa whispers.<p>

"He told me why he beat you…"  
>"You were five or four" Ursa says scowling "What in Agni's name could you have understood…"<br>"I understood far greater than Zuko's snivelling older self!"  
>"So, you think it is okay for a grown man…" Ursa says her voice rising. "Tell me Azula, because I know you are exceptionally <em>intelligent<em> and deductive with everyone else and yet when it comes to Ozai you believe so blindly…"

"Tell me Azula" she roared. "That when your father was _disciplining me_ for comforting your brother after he broke him down to _nothing-_his own son- it was okay for him to beat his pregnant wife?"

"Uh…."  
>"And that when you broke your little knee training ridiculously hard" Ursa continued "It was my weakness-my stupid pity-that made you rest for two measly days that warranted a war with Ozai. A fire bender against poor pathetic me? He was tall, slightly shorter than Zuko but tall, big man and I had limited training in any defence forms at the time but he would still fling balls of fire at me…"<br>"You are weak!" Azula shrieked.

"Why?"  
>"Because you…"<br>"Tell me the truth, Azula" Ursa whispered, halting their walking as Azula paced through the sand-her hands waving in the air on their own accord. "Why was I weak to you... why was the bunny weak…?"  
>"You didn't fight!" Azula roared. "You wouldn't fight… you would just lie on the floor while he kicked you… how could you be <em>my mother<em> if you didn't even fight to _defend yourself_!"

She stopped walking, her hands clenching and unclenching and her vision blurry with hot liquid pooling in her eyes. The sky was clear, hot sun burning down on them but she could see two clouds she didn't like looming between the fake azure calm ceiling… her fire burning in her chest but she feared it too much to even let a flicker escape.

"Azula?" Ursa whispered, walking over to her-right behind her. She felt her hand rest carefully on her shoulder-timidly. She was tall-like Zuko-but not a towering awkward giant-she was in control of her form. She liked being tall-it reflected her _standing_. She didn't like being taller than Ursa and needing to have her hand hold her up.

She felt Ursa's hands go around her, locking in front as she hugged her from the back. She wanted to tell her not to touch her, not to hold her and to stop making her weak but instead she stiffened and allowed the movement. Her heart frantic and tears sliding over her cheeks.

"I didn't fight because I was defending _you, baby"_ she whispered in her hair. "I used to fight once, before I had Zuko and you… but it's different when you don't have anything to lose. You fight hard and viciously when there is nothing at stake but your own life…"

"You know…" Ursa released her and Azula quickly wiped her eyes, her eyes going comically wide to keep the rest of the tears at bay. "Your father and I were in love once."  
>Azula scoffed before chuckling derisively.<p>

"Yes, we were!" Ursa giggled-a very girly sound. "He courted me and everything. I think we had been lucky unlike Iroh to not have our love _manoeuvred._ But even then he had a temper and a sort of compulsion for being the best. I should have taken it as a warning but you now, when it comes to rebels-especially in youth-we silly girls think we can tame them. You can't tame them… you can only…"  
>"Cage them" Azula finished.<p>

"Yes" Ursa said coolly "Maybe… but… in peace, it was not so necessary for a woman to be trained in the arts of battle. I had training of course, due to my father… and believe me when I say it was enough to go against Ozai and his fire when he got _angry. _It involved burning down rooms and injuring poor civilians in the wake of our wars…"

"All is fair in love and war" Azula murmured.

"Ozai and I… our love, Azula… was a war" Ursa laughed, picking her bag from the sand. "And what the Victor wanted… the most important thing at the time for him, before Lu Ten died and your father _loves_ to be the _victor_… was claiming you and Zuko. So we fought in this war… with different arsenal…"

"_You_ weren't fighting for _me_"

"I was Azula" she whispered, reaching her hand out for her daughter-willing her to take it and override the memory of her toddler self refusing it. "_You _were just fighting _against_ me… you were his _weapon_ against me, at the time…"

"But Zuko…" Azula murmured, her hand twitching as though Ursa's scarred rough hand had some form of magnetism. "He still wanted Ozai… he had you both, in a way…"

"I never told Zuko to hate his father" Ursa said smiling. "I never allowed him to stop loving him… at the end of it all; Ozai will _always be _Zuko and your father"

"We had better keep moving, if Urchin and Zuko arrive before us… they'll have extra time to try and kill each other" Azula said sombrely, taking her mothers hand gingerly.

"He looks at her like she is a rare large diamond" Ursa laughed turning Azula's hand over in her own in fascination. "It's sweet…"

"He looks at her like he has never seen a woman before, drooling…" Azula snapped. "It's disgusting…besides, he has Mai, a chosen respectable noble…!"

"The heart has the final say, Azula"

"But the mind…"  
>"…Can war it out with the heart" Ursa grinned. "All is fair you say…in love and…?"<p>

"We will put your intense warrior skills to the test now, dear…_mother_" Azula said softly watching the sea through narrowed blazing eyes. "War is not for the faint hearted"

Xx~xx~xX

"The sea brings in all this metal and stuff?" Azula asked, picking up a long shard of smooth metal and lifting it up in the air and turning it over in the sunlight so it gleamed and shined like something more valuable.

"Well, yes…" Ursa said reaching for the metal in Azula's hand. "The island's position I think, situated over some kind of magnetic…"

"It's cloaked" Azula finished "Storms rotate around it, pushing anything in its radius in and keeping anything _along_ the perimeter out…"

"The storm allows things to enter the perimeter" Ursa murmured. "No storm…"

"No entry…" Azula finished, looking up at the clear sky. "Or exit…"

"You can only leave when another storm hits…" Ursa said, turning to face Azula. "You build the boat and when we have another sea storm…"

"Boat…" Azula said softly.

"Yes, Zula… we need the boat… to help you…?"

"No…!" Azula shouted, knocking the shard out of her mothers hand annoyed. "There is a boat on the shore!"

She turned Ursa around abruptly and pointed north up the beach, a little bump over the shimmering sand horizon and barely visible with the fusing sea fumes.

"Do you see it…?" Azula asked softly.

"Yes…"

"Was it ever…?"

"No" Ursa said, taking a step forward. "That there… came in with the storm… _your storm_, the storm that brought you to me"

"There is someone here…" Azula hissed, trying not to succumb to the vulnerable euphoria welling up...

_The storm that brought you to me…_

"Someone like whom?" Ursa asked.

"We were followed… they found a trail…" Azula murmured. "The army… the rebel army. That boat is a cast of from a main ship…"

"The main ship can't enter the perimeter without the storm…" Ursa said slowly.

"Nor can the boat exit without… this is bad" Azula said shaking her head. "Where are Zuzu and the great Grand Master Earth Bender…?"

"It's a small boat Azula…" Ursa said, chin jutting out. "Probably had two soldiers on board… nothing we girls can't handle…."

"I can't…" Azula mumbled. "Fire Bend… I can't do it"

"You are the prodigious Azula?" Ursa said "You always said Fire Bending made you strong?"

"Well…" Azula scoffed. "That was before I went mad"

"I thought it was that you were _always _mad?"

"Just half insane" Azula laughed. "Turned full circle in good time… Now, we should probably hold an ambush for our stalkers…"  
>"You are the expert ambusher"<p>

"That I am" Azula murmured a small smile playing on her lips.

**Xx~xx~xX**

_AZULA_

_Power and influence is the bread that leaders use to keep their nations in motion, to get things **done**. There are countless forms of power and to conquer all is to conquer **all.** Socialized power which is to say an elected leader is out to benefit others and possibly the most easily corruptible form and Personalized power which is the right of any royal._

_A right to lead…_

_Being born in the line of the dragons, being born with the blood of the first true leaders to the world, the first true wielders of Fire as the absolute weapon, the absolute power… entails being born from power and fire itself. The chi of a Fire Bending royal is tangibly and exponentially greater than that of their surrounding plebs. _

_Lava courses through our veins… Power and Fire is the drug we chase and combined they form the **invincible.**_

_Xx~xx~xX_

**FROM THE ASHES…**

"No!" I gasped jumping of the boat and landing clumsily on the ground.

"Zuko!" Toph called panicked. "Get back on Zuko…. We have to go!"

I walked over to the edge of the clearing, the fire ploughing the immobile flowers into their ashen grave, the smoke thick and sweet in the air and the heat wafting past my face as the wind fuelled the speed of my destruction.

"Zuko…!"Toph huffed, jumping of the boat and stomping over to me. "Why have we stopped…?"

"The flowers…" I said softly, dazed as I watched the fire roar and sprint over the field, smoke saccharine to my nose in Fire Lily spice and Lotus sweetness.

"The field has flowers, okay I don't…."

"Fire Lily and Lotus flowers" I said slowly.

"Zuko… are you… having… is this a nervous breakdown?" she asked softly and I could tell she was entirely serious.

"This Lotus flower… its beautiful, Toph. Green with cherry peach coloured petals from its centre… it emerges from the mud beautiful and perfect" I said, walking closer to the perfumed heat.

"And the Fire Lily only grows in top soil… in heated lands" I whispered, the smoke stinging my eyes. "They should not grow together… it goes against their very nature…."

"The soil here is full of minerals" Toph murmured from beside me, digging her toes into the ground easily. "Maybe that caused the plants to restructure their make up…?"  
>"Maybe…"<br>"You have a plant fetish… okay, but can we go now?" she asked. "This air is wreaking havoc on my sinuses… a nose that is much more sensitive than your own…"

"I…" I muttered but then I spotted two withering plants on the far edge of our destructive path, blowing pathetically in the heated and too sweet air. "Get back on the boat, I'm right behind you"

I scooped them up carefully-cupping the large mounds of earth covering the thin shrivelled roots-in my hands with the flowers and rushed back to the boat.

"Here Toph, take them…!" I commanded and she rolled her eyes.

"Take what?"

"The plants, Toph!"

"Argh…!" she groaned, but reached her hand down awaiting the contact; I carefully cupped her hands and placed the plants in them before swinging over the ledge of the boat.

"This soil is very rich" she said handing the plants to me. "And you are entirely weird"

"Well, this weird Fire Lord just saved two possibly rare plants from extinction!" I snapped.

"After setting in motion their extinction" she grumbled, pushing the boat through the vegetation.

"You are the one who made me set fire…!" I began but she cut me of with a quirked smirk.

"Not the blame game again…?"

Xx~xx~xX

The rest of the journey to the beach is quiet except for my murmuring directions to Toph to avoid crashing into trees. She doesn't smile and her lips are set into a thin line and I know now the destructive power of uttering words that one doesn't comprehend…

I have Mai. I love Mai. I am _Mai's…_ what right did I have to feel like I had a claim on her? What selfish emotion had I allowed to nestle into my heart? She was my friend… wasn't that what I had asked of her a few years ago… for her _friendship_.

_You asked that of her when she didn't have those hips… and she called you out on it, pervert_

I looked away from her and paid more attention to my two young flowers. An _altered structure_ she had said… they would only grow in soil similar to that of the soil from the now burnt and ashen clearing. Where would I find soil like that in the Fire Nation…

"Do you think I will find this type of soil in the Fire Nation?" I asked Toph softly, willing the barbed rift between us to disappear-willing her to stop thinking whatever curious and harmful thoughts were playing in her mind.

"You can ask one of your many servants to find that out for you" she said tersely "After you _reclaim _your Nation and weed out the corruption"

It never really ends; this battle to prove myself to the Fire Nation, to everyone...

That brought the silence back full fold and I realized that even though I had Ursa and had found a happiness I had never known, I had lost one I had become accustomed to by one simple slip of treacherous emotion… Being the Fire Lord-the happiness of the title eluded me and yet I fought tooth and nail for it.

I watched the sad plants huddled together and thought that in this instance, if any of the former poisonous generals had offered me this one thing… I would have taken it willingly with little thought of consequence and handed my title freely.

_Toph Bei Fong's simple and true Friendship over being Fire Lord?_

Xx~xx~xX

"Toph please…" he begged walking over the hot sand-bare feet crunching through it indifferently.

"You said I made you love me?" Toph asked again, leaning on the boat, her gaze seeing past him, through him…

"I said it… I meant as a friend" his heart squeezed giving him away and he thought she raised a knowing eyebrow. "I care and you go and…"  
>"Liar"<p>

"I love Mai…" he whispered, gulping hard and staring at the two flowers in his hands. He had scooped them up dirt and all-the only survivors of his inferno. "It doesn't mean you are not important to me…"

"I don't know what you want me to tell you!" Zuko shouted, a one-eighty turn in mood, rounding on Toph. "I am concerned… believe it. Stop reading my heart… just… take what I tell you and leave it!"

She listened to his heart beat; its unsteady pattern had not stabilized at all-as though he was running on adrenaline and not air and blood. She couldn't tell if he was lying because of this, she had to be brave and simply call him out but she knew he was reaching his limit. Push too hard and they would end up tumbling in the dirt while waiting for Azula and Ursa to arrive…

If she pushed too hard he would call her out too. She hated how alike they were… she was better at it than him, using that very similarity against him, calculating it… but it was hard when he meant everything he said, it was hard when he made sure she was the one person he didn't lie to and when he knew how to answer in half truths and confuse her with his very presence, derail her conviction with his coarse voice and muddle up her thoughts with his heated skin and sharp musky spice …

What was wrong with them that a simple matter of touch could feel so sinful, so entirely sacred and possess an atomic power that threatened to blow them up if they held on to it for to long? Like they were two chemicals that if mixed would explode and destroy everything near them and yet they were the only two who understood what it was like containing an energy and power like that. What was it about them… about him? She thought it was his soul, his strength… the glowing centre in his body that made him thrum and vibrate even when he was still. It felt so sacred, so pure and _personal. _It felt like every time she felt it, she was stealing the most private part of his body…

His stupid fascinating _chi_… even now as he stood feet from her, she could feel the pulse over the hazy canvas of the sand-pulsing with an other worldly energy, like a heart beat… only the force he unknowingly used to contain it made its strength treble with each day…

Unlike Azula's ticking time bomb…

"Zuko!" she hissed. "Azula… I can feel her uh… I can see her in the jungle…"

"Oh, finally" he sighed, placing his plants in the tins he asked her to make for him moments earlier, when she had not reminded him that he had had his royal jewels crushed, lost an argument and said something entirely inappropriate and torturously beautiful to her ears…

His stupid words had sounded like heaven… she wanted heaven… but it wasn't hers to want. As always…

"No, something isn't right…" she whispered moving towards the forest "Azula is worked up…"

"Come on then….!"

They disappeared behind the screen of trees to investigate, never noticing the little boat at the edge of the horizon where the sun was disappearing and setting the sky into a fearsome red and orange haze with two looming little cream clouds.

Xx~xx~xX

"Azula!"

She had my mother kneeling in front of her, blue flames licking at her sides, her face shining with sweat and eyes large and crazed. Behind her, two men lay unconscious and bound on the ground. She stood on a boulder, her height imposing and stance unbearably frightening…

"What…!" Azula shouted turning her head stiffly towards me-as though she didn't want to but there was some other being commanding her to do it.  
>"You didn't really think I would <em>follow<em>, I was born _leading_…" she cackled and Toph pushed forward ahead of me-I grabbed her small hand quickly, urging her back to my side.

"We can take her!"Toph growled. "I knew I should have let her go… as tricky as a…a…Fire Nation Royal!"

"No…" I said softly, watching her crazed eyes shift from Ursa back to me. Crazed but confused, as though there were two people inhabiting her singular body…

"Stay there, Toph and Zuko…" Ursa called. "This is nothing serious… just a little set back…"  
>"She obviously has not been on the <em>receiving end<em> of 'crazy Azula's big nothing'" Toph murmured disbelieving, her fingers twitching and feet shuffling over the hard ground.

"Is it a hostage situation?" Toph asked gruffly. "What… who are the men? What _is going on _here!"

"_Azula's_ back" I whispered.

"I have been trying…" Azula drawled, swaying on the top of the boulder as though intoxicated, her fire burning and retreating freely and uncontrolled.

"I have been trying…" she slurred, her eyes watching Ursa with confused intent, her chest rising too fast and feet unsteady on the boulder.

"Zuko, we need to contain her now…!"Toph hissed, tugging her hand angrily from my own.

"I…if she was going to do something, she would have done it, there is no strategy…" I stammered watching in pain as my sister contemplated damaging my mother, as my sister fought some unknown battle inside her… "No… I can't… we can't… this isn't the same as before, Toph"  
>"I know" Toph whispered back licking her dry lips. "She is about to explode…"<p>

"Zuzu!" Azula screamed, stumbling a little before righting her footing. If she fell… the boulder was large and she was way too high of the ground-if she slipped and fell, it would be the _end_.

"Zuko….!" She shouted again but her narrowed eyes never left Ursa. "I have been wondering… I was wondering why mother here… why she never… we are here, being happy family Ursa and you are being _dishonest_!"

"Azula… I have been nothing but true…" Ursa begged.

"I was cruel… _I am cruel_…!" Azula shouted the last part with a sick pleasure, flaying her hands in the air, fire whipping through the air before disappearing. "I killed the bunny and…"

"Azula…"Ursa begged "You are not well…"

It was the power, the fire… hadn't it always been obvious…

"You hate me" she whispered desperately, almost as though she was begging for her to do it-admit it and feel it-hypnotize her into despising her truly. "Everything you say… all the lies you try to feed me…"

"No, Azula… everything I said to you was the truth" Ursa said with doubtless conviction. "You know it… why is it you are so _afraid!"_  
>"I knew… I knew he wanted to send you away so you would die" Azula cried her eyes flicking to my face in split second-a moment when they had changed back to confusion and fear. "I knew….how can you all look at me and not hate me…all of you… lies!"<br>"And here I am… after all the grand assassination attempts by _your father_…" Ursa murmured, rising from the ground carefully. "Here I am for you, Azula"

"What's stopping me from ending this" Azula whispered dangerously low to Ursa, her eyes flashing with the reflection of her flames-ice fire over gold. "What's stopping me from ending this display of… _weakness_?"  
>"Do you mean stopping you from <em>killing<em> me?" Ursa asked and Azula nodded. "Well, nothing really… but what I really wonder is what's stopping you from letting me love you fully?"

This derailed her, Azula's eyes widening… the odd terrifying inhuman gleam leaving them momentarily and replaced with something infinitesimally vulnerable, fragile and temporary.

"You hate me…" she said so softly, her voice oddly childlike. "He said… there is no _way_, you hate me"

"Azula…" Ursa murmured, reaching her hand out to Azula. "Even at your worst… I will love you…"

The flames died down before disappearing entirely and before my eyes my sister allowed her emotions free-going against the strict code we had lived under Ozai's authority, the lessons he had taught her of weakness and strength forgotten in favour of a love that didn't need to be taught but felt. How long had we priced love and acceptance, how long had we had to buy it and steal it from each other-Ozai's love?

"Get down from the boulder so I can love you before you fall again!" Ursa commanded and Azula took her hand quietly and I knew… the darkness had splintered, fissured off of her chi finally. We had found the temple and the only true cure to counter Ozai's destruction of Azula.

**REVIEW IF YOU ARE HUMAN! REVIEW IF YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL! REVIEW IF YOU KNOW THE ALPHABET…! (Basically just review… ghost readers are loved still…)**


	22. Where there is smoke

"There is a Lord a Fang…" the taller soldier murmurs hurriedly to the shorter one. "Stop fiddling with your _Tanko_… you are a respectable foot soldier who has just captured the Fire Lord and Earth Bending _noble _snake not a prefect at some decrepit public school! You are embarrassing me…"

"Sorry…" The soldier murmurs back sulkily. "Its itchy… must be the jungle heat but the lacquer should weather proof it and these leather bits keep getting stuck…"

"Yeah, whatever… stop being such a woman about it!" the other soldier snaps. "Just… let me do the talking."

"Of course"

"Pull your hachi-gane lower…" the irritable soldier grumbled, watching nervously as they approached the large expansive ship on their weathered and almost broken down boat-their prisoners squirming and sending them muffled curses.

"Hachi…?" the small soldier asked, pausing with his fidgeting.

"The head band behind your helmet!"

"Oh…" he mumbled sheepishly. "I must've missed that in Soldier one-o-one…"  
>"You would swear you were some peasant used to doing field work…!" Irritable Soldier hissed. "I do not want to find myself stuck in some lowly foot-soldier position because you were unable to play your part well… It is bad enough that I had to do most of the work…"<p>

"Lord Fang will want to know the details" Irritable soldier said coolly "I will inform him and you keep a tight hand on the Earth Bender and I'll handle the _sick _and _delusional _Fire Lord"  
>"Right" the squirming soldier said casting the bound Fire Lord a worried look which he returned with soft muffled incomprehensible words.<p>

"And we will ask for a consideration in our ranking… citing battle injuries and sacrifices of such…"

"Don't you think you are taking this a little too far… uhm, Jet?" the short soldier grumbled.

"Not far enough!" Jet snapped, rowing harder and with more conviction when he saw the line up of awaiting soldiers and the unmistakable figure of Lord Fangs bowed possum-vulture stance.

Xx~xx~xX

"We almost left…" Lord Fang murmured in his wheezing voice, his long thin fingers tapping against each other in glee. "The storm came and we thought… well, there was _no way_… the mist over there and the rocky death trap was impenetrable and my navigator kept telling me how _unnatural _these seas were…"  
>"We braved the storm without much thought" Jet said gruffly. "We knew how important it was to deliver to you the Fire Lord so he would be treated…"<br>"How did you manage to capture him?" Fang cut in, his beady eyes gleaming with a greedy suspicion. "He is well known for having a very destructive temper not only to those around him but to himself…"

"And by that Lord Fang still maintains his highest respect towards our long missed Fire Lord" a scrawny old man murmured from the shadows of Fang's chamber-seated almost unnoticed in a lush chair by the little coffee table.

"Of course, our highly esteemed young Fire Lord" Fang murmured, smiling slimily and failing to _not _roll his eyes.

"Well…" Jet murmured, shaking his head heavily. "It was not easy…"

"Not easy at all" the small nervous soldier echoes in an abrupt cough.

"While they were sleeping…" Jet began.

"The Earth Bender would have heard you" Fang cut in, still smiling but his eyes narrowed and sadistic as the scanned the young skinny soldier.

"Well… she didn't" Jet murmured. "I was trained in the art of stealth by the long departed Sifu Ming Jau, my Lord… and I knew her profile… you gave it to me… remember?"  
>"Oh, of course…" Fang laughed relieved that this truly was his private soldier after all-who he had warned about the blind Earth Bender. "So… how did you manage… I am curious?"<p>

"I am not sure what was happening… or what type of lies our poor Fire Lord…" Jet began.

"Poor and Young" Fang added smiling.

"Our poor and _young _Fire Lord" Jet murmured, returning Fangs smile "Was told by the conspiring Earth Bender because he sought to fight by her side and the battle ensued all the way to he sea's… but the storm proved most useful to us… she cannot swim and when he attempted to rescue her, that is when he gave our differentiating blow"

"His humanity always did get in the way of his greatness" the old man murmured. "But we will rid him of the poisons the other Nations have spread into his minds… and we could not have done it without you, Jet. You look a little bit thin…"  
>"The jungle has been most unkind" Jet murmured<p>

"You are more than welcome to remove your helmet, Soldier" the old man said softly. "You are safe here…"

Jet reached for the edge of his helmet, lifting it slowly and carefully and once it was off, he held it indifferently by his side.

"Even in the jungle" Fang laughed. "Our soldiers remain disciplined and clean… unlike those Earth Benders… but if you could shave young man"

"And you Hokoza?" the old man murmured eyeing the short squirming man. "Are you not sick of your helmet?"

"He was injured in the fight" Jet said softly, shaking his head in pity. "A fragment of his scalp grazed off by the Earth Bender… I managed to wrap it around in place but the helmet keeps it firm against his skull allowing for it to heal…"

"Let me see…" Fang murmured with sick fascination, approaching Hokoza. He lifted the head band gently over the young man's head-the young man grimaced in pain-and paused the movement when he saw the caked dry blood on his forehead. "Hmm… for your efforts… you will be moved up in rank and given a chamber…"  
>"To share" the old man added dryly.<p>

"Thank you my Lords" Jet bowed his head in reverence. "I will be sure to clean myself up properly"

"My Lords" squeaked Hokoza backing away from the men and hurrying after Jet.

XxX~xXx~XxX

"Place them in this wooden box here" Fang murmured.

"Together… my lord?" the soldier asked.

"How many wooden boxes do you see and how many prisoners are there?" Old Man Girakuzu asked, sneering.

"Uh… two prisoners and uhm, one wooden box" the soldier stammered.

"Can Earth Benders bend wood?" asked Old Man Girakuzu.

"No, my Lord…" the soldier mumbled "But it's the _Fire Lord…_ I thought…"  
>"There is the problem right there" Girakuzu said to Fang. "There are two many unnecessary people thinking…"<p>

"The Fire Lord is still under the witches influence" Fang murmured in a fake pitying voice, adding a sympathetic head shake for their mentally lost young Fire Lord "If we keep him with her he wont be tempted to escape to find her…"

"Now, bring them to this cell… hands bound together to demote any need to bend… and place them in the wooden box" Fang instructed.

The four soldiers bowed low, before hurrying out of the cell and leaving Fang alone with his old father.

"Have that pensive soldier demoted" Girakuzu murmured. "Too many _thinkers _surround us… put Jet in charge with his little side kick. Young boy is very ambitious… he will do what it takes with little questioning but greater intelligence"  
>"Of course" Fang murmured.<p>

"Tell me you know why we are putting him in the wooden box with the blind girl" Girakuzu said, moving to stand beside his son.

"She won't be able to earth bend…" Fang murmured.

"And he wont be able to fire bend without burning her to a crisp" Girakuzu finished. "We will show case him at the palace briefly, send out a message to Garza that we have him and he should prepare… he should tell the Avatar we found the Fire Lord… let the Avatar think we are for the better good and then I foresee the young Fire Lord being poisoned by his Uncle, who does not want to step down from his temporary position as Fire Lord"  
>"Your prediction is too true, Father" chuckled Fang. "That treacherous former General Iroh… what a couth man"<p>

"Ozai… he was not the only one born through _ambition_" Girakuzu laughed. "His blood may still be the symbol of a monarchy even after the deaths of Iroh and Zuko… but we will be the hidden Fire Lords."

Xx~xx~xX

"What is this?" the burly soldier asked, touching the petal of the red-orange flower curiously.

"A souvenir from the island" Jet murmured, removing his boots.

"I don't remember seeing you in our barracks" the taller gangly soldier said quirking an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Nor do I" Jet said softly "I might have mistaken you for a_ pole_ though"  
>"Ingrate" the gangly soldier hissed.<p>

"Promoted Ingrate" Jet laughed. "I am in higher ranking than you … and any continued questionings will be taken as a sign of disrespect to my standing…"  
>"You have not even told us your names" Hokoza murmured. "That is kind of rude… don't you think?"<p>

"This is Banik" the gangly soldier said sulkily "I am Onashi"

"Pleased to meet you" Hokoza said smiling freely and ignoring Jet's eye rolling.

"I hear you got a hideous injury on your head when a lion-panther attacked you while you were running away from an erupting volcano…" Banik said in a quick breath, eyes staring at Hokoza's bandaged head in fascination.

"Something like that" Hokoza laughed. "Although having half my face covered is very uncomfortable…"  
>"I can imagine" Banik murmured. "I hear the Earth Bender is most formidable and the Fire Lord is no easy foe…"<p>

"Ha!" Jet scoffed shooting Banik a derisive look. "A drugged Fire Lord and a blind Earth Bender…?"

"Man, our Royal Family is the worst in history…!" Onashi muttered, sitting on the large bed. "You two sharing this chamber… this one bed…?"

"Well, yeah" Hokoza said looking at the bed in confusion. "It looks comfy doesn't it, Jet?"

"I bet you two are going to_ cuddle_" Onashi sniggered and Banik joined in. "Warriors... you are too skinny to be a warrior, you came across the Fire Lord and the Grand Master Earth Bender accidentally… your position here is all accidental…"

"I think you two better leave" Jet muttered, shooting Hokoza an indicative look. "Hokoza's medication is kicking in… pain meds and some other stuff…"  
>"Of course" Banik murmured, waving back at Hokoza. "See you guys later…?"<br>"Sure, whatever" Jet slammed the door while the two confused soldiers stood behind it. "Or not… _idiots_"

Xx~xx~xX

"I haven't had proper food in _years_!" Hokoza laughed, stuffing his face greedily with dumplings while Jet watched carefully.

His eye scanned the large hall, filled with about forty feasting soldiers and twelve on duty soldiers.

"Aren't you going to eat… uhm, Jet?" Hokoza asked, wiping his mouth carefully and a little too daintily with a napkin. "You have to keep your strength up…"

"Fang has put us in charge of the cell" Jet murmured, spotting the approaching figures of the large Banik and his lanky companion. "It is were they are"

"Okay…"

"We set port tomorrow evening" Jet said quickly "We guard them for only about the remainder of the day tomorrow… we will need our strengths… but it is important we be _good soldiers_ and that means…"  
>"So your promoted ingrate ass is not too good to sit in with us foot soldiers" Onashi sneered. "Good to know"<p>

"You don't mind if I have some of that?" Onashi asked but took a dumpling out of Jet's plate anyway.

"He doesn't mind" Banik laughed, sitting next to Hokoza.

"I suggest you move" hissed Jet low and dangerous. "I am in no mood…"

"Or you will what?" Onashi laughed. "_Accidentally _capture me with the _convenient_ aid of a storm…?"

"We got news for you two over achievers" Banik laughed. "There aren't any storms here…"

"Of course" Hokoza murmured in confusion. "We are inside the ship and…"  
>"You trying to make me a fool?" Banik growled rounding on the shrinking Hokoza.<p>

"I will say this only once more…"jet murmured, eyes closed and hand touching the hilt of one of his dual sword. "Leave…"

"You little twiggy twinks…"

The hall erupted in loud shouts and falling chairs for a good five minutes before the guards could react but that was all the thin and nimble Jet needed to knock the burly man down before punching Onashi and landing his sword at the base of his neck-dangerously and controlled against his throat.

"You need to get over your testosterone" whispered Jet "And forget this"

The sword was removed before the on call soldiers could question Jet; leaving a thin red scar on Onashi's throat and a deep fear and resentment for the greatly more skilled young soldier.

"I know something isn't right with those two…" Onashi whispered to Banik as they walked away.

"They are gay…?" Banik asked. "Are we ignorant homophobes..?"

"This is an army" Onashi murmured, eyes narrowed and lip set in an irritated line "Everyone is an ignorant homophobe including the gays"

"So are you…"  
>"Don't even finish that sentence, Banik!" Onashi hissed. "Back to those two scavengers, that Jet is familiar…"<br>"You said you didn't recognise him…?" Banik asked in confusion.

"Shut up" Onashi hissed. "He is skilled beyond his rank…"

"Maybe that is why he was promoted…"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?" Onashi shouted. "He is skilled… and I am sure a Fire Bender too."

"So what do you want to do?"  
>"Prove that he landed upon this great glory on accident" Onashi sniggered. "Take it all away from him, <em>dishonour him…"<em>

"Won't that bring dishonour upon us in the process?"

"You really need to learn to _shut up_"

Xx~xx~xX

**All I need is some space…**

"Zuko!"

"Ngh…"

"Zuko…need to _move!"_ Toph huffed and I felt her heave bellow me.

"Gerrof!" she shrieked and I woke up fully. "You are squashing me…!"

"What…?" I felt around us in the dark confines of the rectangular box and propped my weight up on my fore arms.

"I can't see… its dark… I can't see… were we are" she stammered panicked. "I am going to _die…!"_

"Toph stay calm…" I murmured groaning as I felt the sweet effects of medicine leaving my mind.

"I can't see…" she yelped beneath me.

"You are blind Toph" I mumbled. "You never could see…"  
>"No you idiot" she hissed. "I can't see at <em>all…"<em>

I flexed my fingers on the ground and felt wood grain.

"It's wood"  
>"No shit" she grumbled.<p>

"Were are we… how did…"  
>"Drugged, bagged and tagged" she muttered.<p>

"In a casket…?"

"I _don't know_" she whined. "Move Zuko…!"

"To where…?" I fumed.

I moved over her, careful to keep my face from falling on hers and struggled over my straining forearms to remain levitating over her.

"I hate this" she mumbled in a tiny voice. "This is your fault"

"It was your grand plan" I snapped.

"Whatever"

"Argh" I groaned the weight of my body on my arms cramping various muscles all over my body. "Open your legs"

"Wh…what?" she stammered.

"Your legs, open them" I commanded but began forcing her legs open anyway. "I need to be in a better position…"

"Hmm" she squeaked and complied, her legs opening freely.

"This is better" I murmured to her.

"Hmm" she breathed in an odd pitchy voice.

Of course this was never going to be easy, when was anything easy in my life… I was in casket of sorts, unable to Fire Bend through the thick possibly fire treated wood without killing both Toph and myself and…

"What the hell!" I shrieked when I felt her lower limps graze both sides of my hips.

"I need space" she grumbles. "You are too close….!"  
>"I can't go anywhere Toph but that doesn't mean you have to…"<p>

"You are breathing on me!" she complained

"The only possible way I could _not _breathe on you" I growled "Is if I stop breathing all together…!"

"Argh!" she groaned and then pulled her legs up and wiggled down-bellow me.

"Stop bloody moving!"

"Shut up!" she hissed.

"Okay… this is not getting us anywhere…" I muttered. "Get on you side"

"What?"

"We will lie on our sides, maybe then we will have space…"  
>"Right" she murmured and wiggled beneath me to one wide while I writhed to other until we were both lying on our sides facing each other.<p>

"This is better" I breathed propping my hand over her against the wood behind her.

"Hmm" she murmured in her funny pitched low voice.

"You know Toph" I chuckled "This is supposed to be uncomfortable… there isn't a grand master cell…"

"You know whenever you gain a sense of humour it normally ends with your jewels crushed"  
>"Uh…"<p>

"My leg is falling asleep" she muttered. "I need to stretch"

"There is no space to…hey!"

I felt her leg hitch on my hip and tried to ignore it but failed dismally. I reached down for it and tried pushing it of but her leg was surprisingly strong…

"Stop that!" she hissed.

"Get your leg of off me!"  
>"It isn't bothering anyone" she grumbles.<p>

"It is bothering me!"

"How!"

"Do you have to invade my…"  
>"Fine!" she hissed and she removed her leg and shoved in precariously between my legs.<p>

"Okay… you can put it back, fine…" I stammered remembering how her knee could easily turn into a weapon of mass destruction.

"Argh" she groaned. "You are such a whining..."  
>"Get your leg away from my…" I hissed and then felt her small hands feeling for my face and when she was sure she had a good grip she shoved hard and sent my head backwards against the hard wood.<p>

"Bei Fong you little Urchin…" I hissed in pain and she continued to shove my head against the wood. "Stop that you brat!"

I reached for her hand, pulled it away a little too roughly and pinned it behind her.

"Let go of my hand!" she squealed half in pain and half in anger.

"Put your leg down…"

"No you tall freak" she hissed shoving against me wildly and before we knew it the box was rocking. "I need space too!"

"You little ungrateful spoilt brat!"

"Stupid Fire Lord…"

The box tilted suddenly, momentarily balancing on its edge with both Toph and I slumped on both of its sides before it went crashing down when my weight one the balancing match.

"Oof" I groaned when Toph landed heavily on top of me and her knee delivering its promise.

"My head…" I groaned. "My leg, my balls… my _everything! You silly girl…"_

I felt her shake over me abruptly before warm soft drops of liquid fell on my face.

"Toph…?" I whispered to her. "I didn't mean… please… don't… I am so sorry…"

"You said…" she gasped. "balls!"

She broke down into fits of giggles over me, tears streaming freely and dropping over my face.

"Balls" she gasped, finally taken hold of herself. "The Fire Lord said balls… imagine if Ozai said… oh gosh…"

"I am not Ozai" I snapped.

"But you have his balls!"

Xx~xx~xX

"Toph?" I whispered and she responded with a snort before resuming her snoring.

Her head was on my chest, her breath hot and seeping through the thin cotton, her hand on my head, fingers twisted and fisting my hair slightly painfully and other hand laying lazily over my face and occasionally scratching my beard gently.

Her legs were overlapping my own legs on either side, our stomachs touching were our shirts had risen and everything _opposite _each other…

How would I recover from this…? I needed her to wake up and stop… sleeping and being calm and peaceful over me. I hadn't slept… I couldn't sleep… trying desperately to control my rebellious thoughts and be the old Zuko. Not this new and degrading version that was fuelled by hedonistic hormones that didn't care for anything but the feel of curves over my flesh…

"Ouch!" Toph hissed when I shoved her up abruptly and violently. "The hell…?"

"You are cutting off my air supply" I murmured not trusting the use of words at the moment.

"You are so irritating" she mumbled groggily "You know that?"

"Hmm" I muttered but she returned her head onto my chest, hand ghosting over my face and finding its place by my chin with one finger touching my lips and the other hand twirling my hair between its fingers.

"What's wrong" she murmured, her vice slightly muffled by my chest but I could tell she was half asleep. "You need to quit the conga heart beat there, Fire Lord"

"You need to get off me!" I all but cried and shifted under her panicked.

"Zuko…?" she asked, her head lifted up slightly and voice more lucid.

"Move… _please_" I groaned.

"Were Zuko?" she asked softly. "Calm down…"  
>"I need to <em>bend<em>" I moaned feeling around for something and then causing her to jerk when my hot hand grazed the skin of her back. "Fix your damned shirt!"

"You fix it" she said.

"What…?"

"I can't fix it because of our position… so pull it down Zuko"

"Right" I mumbled, trying to pull the hem of her shirt down without feeling the skin of her back again. My hands were shaking and my breath coming out in huffs…

"What's wrong Zuko?" she asked again. "Look, this is uncomfortable for me too but I am not…"

"Oh, I think it is definitely _different_" I said my voice quivering

"I am _a lot_ more claustrophobic than you are" she said coolly.

"I need to bend…" I stammered, remembering the night Mai had decided we should hurry with our marriage duties before we were even married… I needed the pool…

"If you even dare to light a flame in here…"she growled in my ear and my heart picked up speed.

I pressed my hands against the thick wood behind Toph, palms feeling the grain and released a little heat from my chi carefully.

"You will burn us up in here!" Toph hissed when the smell of ashy smoke filtered through.

"Wood is too thick and I bet it is treated for fire" I murmured. "It would take me exploding my chi out to burn it up…"

"What is wrong with you?" she hissed. "Why did you shove me…?"

"You were cutting of my air…"

"That is ostrich-horse shit and you know it"

"It's true!" I snapped-it was _a sort of truth_

"_You made me love you_" she whispered by my ear in a mock-version of my voice and I shuddered. "I knew it"

"Knew… knew… what?"

"You like me" she said and I didn't need a single flicker of light to know she was smiling smugly.

"You need more oxygen" I growled, pulling her hand away from my hair violently. "That is… untrue"

"Fine" she sighed. "It wouldn't help anything anyway for you to confess it I suppose"

There was a comfortable moment of silence while I pondered her words and she began humming Uncle's tune softly, unperturbed by the content of the subject and oddly at home over me, between my arms.

"Why wouldn't it help…?" I asked her softly. "Not that I am saying…"

"I thought about it" she whispered. "You are you and I am me"  
>"That doesn't even make sense!" I growled.<p>

"If you did like me" she said "I guessed you wouldn't really be able to do anything about it without causing some more _drama _and well… if I am deluding myself, that would make a good excuse to my delusion on why we can't be together"

"Together…" I murmured, my breath coming out too quickly and the heat returning fully. "You thought of us… together… you confess to thinking…"

"It is all theories and delusions Zuko" she said softly but it was too late. She thought of us together…

"Together how" I asked gruffly.

"So it is okay for me to share and be vulnerable….?"

"How are you vulnerable Toph?"

"I thought of us together in all sorts of ways…" she whispered by my ear-cool breath fanning over the sensitive heated skin there. "Mostly it was… structural because… that is all a blind Earth Bender understands. Structures and Positions"

"Oh…" I breathed my hand resting heavily on her back and clawing at the material of her shirt, my hand fisting the cotton shirt viciously on its own accord.

"You have never had such thoughts?" she asked huskily.

"No…" I murmured licking my dry lips. "Not as far as…_structures_"

"Not when you touched my lips with your hot fingers in the jungle…?" she asked in an ironically innocent voice. "Not when you held me over the ground when we fought…?"

"Not as far as… structures" I gasped and my left leg shot up abruptly, bent at the knee but propped up-my knee against the hard wood and Toph deliberately wriggled up…

"Stop…" I begged removing my hand from her back stiffly and placing it on the wooden ceiling.

"Just say it…" she said softly. "It all ends in this little wooden box…"

"I thought of you… not like that because it is wrong… we aren't married and you are…" I stammered as her hands ghosted over my face and stroked my bearded jaw.

"Not even when you touched yourself?" she asked and I gulped.

"I don't know what…"  
>"You <em>know<em> Zuko"

"No, I don't do _that_" I muttered. "That would be sacrilege to a _warrior's_ body… and I am a warrior so…"

"I believe you… funnily… probably the only guy who doesn't…" she said quietly-something between a laugh and a whimper of disappointment. "But I do…"

"You touch… you thought of me… you think… Toph it is… no… we… you are a _warrior _and a _girl_?"

"It doesn't matter" she mumbled resting her head heavily on my chest and I was sure she was listening to my thudding heart beat.

"You _can't do that_" I hissed low. "You can't… it is just… lust"

"You are so naïve" she murmured against my chest.

"This is just lust…" I repeated trying to drive home the truth of it to her and my alter-les-honourable-ego. "Lust"

"You are to marry a prince" I said dryly "And I have Mai"

"Maybe I will marry him and maybe I won't" she said sulkily.

"I have Mai regardless" I mumbled feeling like the loser in all of this even though I would soon reclaim my throne, I had my mother and sister back and Toph had just helped air out a few of our grievances… I had Mai and after this with no more secret feelings left hidden and confronting the _lust_ I would have my friend back-possibly-but I felt like I had lost out on some other more valuable prize.

"You haven't said anything Zuko" she muttered angrily.

"What is there to say?" I grumbled.

"Do you have feelings for me?" she asked.

"I already answered that" I snapped.

"No you didn't…" she insisted childishly.

"What does it even matter?" I hissed. "Have you not heard a word I have said of how... sinful and destructive…?"

"What does a _virgin _Fire Lord know about sinful destruction…" she laughed derisively.

"I am not… what makes you so sure…" I stammered angrily. "Are you not…?"

"Maybe I am maybe I am not" she sang. "Just like you are singing the maybe I like you and maybe I don't…"

"You aren't married Toph" I whispered anxiously. "You will bring great dishonour…"  
>"You and honour" she huffed. "Of course I am a virgin… who would want to bother with a blind girl… certainly not <em>you<em>"  
>"I do want to b<em>other<em>… _you…_ and that is wherein the problem lies…"

"Then _bother me_" she said softly and I knew I had played into her hands so cheaply.

"No…" I whispered terrified of the heat of our bodies, the feel of _her body _and the feel of my own treacherous heart thudding away… announcing the loss of my conviction…

She reached up for my hair again, her hands weaving easily through the thick twisted strands before finding my scalp, grazing the skin there and pulling possessively. I bit down on the inside of my lower lip, willing myself to not make a sound as the fingers of her other hand began tracing my face carefully.

"I wish you would rid yourself of this facial hair" she murmured huskily "I want to see you naked… your face naked…"

"hmm" I gulped as she found my eyes and brushed the eyelashes there.

"Would you say your eyelashes were long, Zuko?" she asked softly. "I have no one but my self and mother to compare and she has fake ones…"

"Too long" I answered hoarsely and coughed nervously. "Not particularly manly… rather girly…"

"Stop stammering" she instructed.

"You have no eyebrow on your scarred side" she whispered her hands wisping over the skin there, feeling it curiously and with no fear. My battle scar… her scar… my…

She wriggled further up and I groaned roughly when her chest moved over me, my hand automatically reaching behind her and grabbing her shirt again-torn between pulling her off my body or pressing her tighter to me-and then opting to just hold on to the fabric-to the moment.

She moved up, her nose trailing over the side of my face, along my jaw in a tantalizing slow motion before she rested her head between my shoulder and neck and inhaled sharply

"You smell…" she whispered. "Like… Glory"

"Toph stop…" I moaned as her fisted hand in my hair pulled my head abruptly and roughly to one side and she continued brushing her little nose on the skin of my neck. My hands were on her back, groping and feeling her through the shirt with steadily lost control. She kneaded my scalp with her one hand and began rocking absently over me, her breath laboured…

"Toph…" I growled. "Stop… we are too far…"

"Then stop me, Zuko" she growled in my ear, still moving instinctually over me" because it all ends in this wooden box but I am_ not afraid _to make the most of it… before we go back to _pretending_"

"The most…" I whimpered as I felt a soft hot kiss on my neck and the sound of my rushing blood, rushing south...

"Toph…" I groaned in a weird contorted form of primal bliss and moral fear of our hidden selves writhing and feeling…

"Stop me _Zuko_…" she hissed angrily over my skin, nudging my jaw with her nose… kissing the tip of my nose before feeling the burnt skin around my eye with her lips and kissing me there with parted soft moist lips. "I have _nothing _to lose-you made that clear-and I am a _selfish brat_ when it comes to _you_"

Her sweet scent swirled around us in a heady intoxicating cloud, suffocating my reason and setting fire to thoughts.

"Ngh…" I groaned my eyes rolling back behind heavy eye lids and hands giving up any pretence of moral conduct and reaching under her shirt for _skin, _greedily kneading the softness of her back, feeling the indent I had tried futilely not to obsess about, that luscious dip of her lower back and she was right… it would all end in the wooden box anyway, so why be afraid… it was just a touch, how we see… in the dark… it will be over soon, left behind in this wooden … unable to destroy us ever again… the sin and the lust… we had to release it and leave it here is we were to have any future…

How true she was. Purest innocent sin…

"I feel for you" I admitted finally-growled invading every inch of her curved back with tyrannical hands; her back, her shoulder blades, her spine, _my _dip and her prominent backside "I feel… you… only you for… _always_"

**AUTHORS NOTE: REMEMBER TO REVIEW, FIRST TIMERS MORE THAN WELCOME. THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS likes and dislikes. Reviewing is my writing fuel… and I am aware of the price of fuel(gasoline, gas, petrol…wherever you are in the world, its pricey!) … but don't hold back anyhow. _Fuel _my writing…!**

**The old-too close to you to even think-trick. Yep, it had to be done… _My _Toph Bei Fong is a _hot blooded woman_… and lets' face it, Zuko has been the ultimate tease…**

**Oh, wait... I don't own Avatar or Toph disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer…**

**The updates were scarce because of a random cold that snuck up on me and a cold-sore located in my nose… Argh, how unnatural but I suppose I should be grateful it's hidden. I have actually begun the next chapter, maybe an eighth done if it's going to be long and epic but if it ends up being short then it's a quarter done. Omg, the end approaches…**

**XX Tj **

**p.s I do apologize for the randomness of some of my a/n. I'll let you review in peace… and I had somehow managed to delete a crucial part in the first posted chapter so I put it so I put it down to edit it.**


	23. The Broken Seal

_The seal that would not break, when broken it would not fade and now it would not be cast aside… and we lay awake, eyes wide… thinking of the seal forever_

Xx~xx~xX

**Back then…**

"Who are you…?"

"I know who I am" the soldier replies with a sly mocking grin, rolling his eyes and snorting. "Do you know who _you _are?"

"_Of course_" Zuko growls already losing his temper-fully aware of this and trying to reel his anger in. Azula watches the sluggish exchange through half interested eyes, leaned against her mother's side at the base of a large rectangular rock-bench Toph earth bent for them and thinking of the most beautiful exchange she ahs ever had with another human being.

"_Don't you hate me?"_

"_No… not even at your worst"  
>"Well… I hate me"<em>

"_I'll love you hard enough so that wont matter"_

"Answer my question" Zuko demands softly, shutting his eyes tightly and inhaling a slow breath.

"Does it matter who he is?" Azula murmurs.

Zuko looks at her with blank eyes-possibly startled she has spoken after hours of silence and pensive looks-his mouth hanging open and hair comically spread around his head with leaves and ashy fragments.

"Azula is right" Toph mutters, prodding the flames. "It doesn't matter _who_ he is"  
>The blind girl's fascination with fire is very ironic but entirely <em>obvious <em>to everyone besides Zuko-she sits at the edge of the calm flames prodding randomly and moving her feet across the earth in an odd way, that Azula is convinced is her way of watching the flames with her unique ability. What it must look like to her… the heat of it over the ground…

"He is just a soldier" Ursa says softly, her breath ghosting over the side of Azula's face.

"Just a soldier" Azula reiterates. "Useless… disposable…"

She receives another blank look from Zuko which is followed by panic at the implications of her words. He never knew how to play war as well as her…how to play fear against a person…

"Yeah" Toph mutters blowing the flame of her stick "Disposable… we can't have you running back to the main ship…"

"There is no main ship" the man says but his eyes give him away before Toph laughs and calls out his lie.

"Death it is" Azula says in fake sadness.

"Look" the other soldier says smiling widely and peering at Zuko with fear sketched over his face. "We are just pawns… Fire uhm, Lord… it is Lord Garza who has ordered we find you… but he is saying it is simply to rehabilitate you from the mind tricks of the Water Peasant and this… _Earth Bender._"

"Rehabilitate…" Zuko says, rising absently from his crouched position in front of the bound prisoners. "Me… you seek… _I am the bloody Fire Lord and you seek to rehabilitate me for…"_

"Zuko" Toph says casually, returning her stick into the flames and spreading cinders all over the sandy edges in her clumsy undirected action. "We already know this is something Garza is saying to get the full cooperation of the army so _cool it_"

Zuko shoots her a petulant look, his lower lip jutting out at being told what to do-a comical sulky expression with his fierce bearded hairy look and imposing physical presence-but it is obvious his oncoming angry tirade had been stopped in its tracks… much to the relief of their prisoners.

"Anyway" Zuko huffs folding his arms over his broad chest. "The ship is off the island perimeter…?"

"Yes" the other soldier-the one who understands that death threats are never to be taken lightly-stammers.

"Why have they sent two soldiers only" Zuko asks.

"We saw a raft… a few days ago, during a storm and we set out to capture but then the storm…"  
>"I get it" Zuko cuts him. "And the main ship obviously knows someone is here… who are they expecting to find…?"<p>

"We thought you had run off with the Earth Bender…" the man says softly, peering at Toph. "And… she is wanted for kidnapping because well, you were ill…"  
>"I was being drugged" Zuko clarifies.<p>

"By her, the earth Bender?" the man asks in confusion.

"No, you idiot by M… someone else." Zuko snaps. "So they are expecting an Earth Bender and me…"

"The Royal Princes is supposed to be dead" the previously silent soldier whispers finally-gazing at Azula with wonder. "And is that the Queen… what in the name of Agni…"  
>"The entire royal family is alive" the cowardly soldier murmurs to his fellow prisoner. "I bet even General Iroh's son may be on this island… what a conspiracy…"<p>

"The General…?" Zuko asks. "Is he… he is still in charge…?"

"Oh… well, the General… General Garza that is, has said that he is to be charged with treason against the Fire Lord-you, Fire Lord Zuko- and if you were found dead your highness…"

"Oh, it makes sense now" Azula chirps "They had to find you… kill you so they could exterminate the royal family with enough false evidence to conclude treachery_ within_ the royal family, and bring forth a new royal family without causing disruption through the Nation on any odd and untied ends…"  
>"That doesn't make any sense!" the soldier snaps. "You are supposed to be dead… that is a conspiracy in its self…"<p>

"I was supposed to be dead from an assassination you insignificant monkeys-ass…"

"Azula, language…"Ursa murmurs a humorous smile playing on her face.

"So what do we do?" Toph asks softly. "Aang definitely wont want to get his avatar-glowy-spirit on the Fire Nation when you are missing, Iroh possibly imprisoned and I am guessing the army has returned to Earth Kingdom to contest the land they had seized as their own… this is… messy and no one wants a war…"  
>"No one wants a war" Zuko says softly.<p>

"We dump these dumb asses in the jungle" Azula says calmly. "Imprison Zuko and Toph and head out to the main ship when the storm hits in…"

"I like the way you think, Witchy" Toph grins. "I like being in difficult possibly perilous situations…"

"You kids are_ too_ used to this…" Ursa murmurs but then adds softly. "I don't know if I should… be leaving…"  
>"You are not staying here" Zuko says sharply, sending her a hard but loving look.<p>

"You have to come home with us" Azula adds softly staring at her brother "Weddings and tea parties"

"That doesn't_ even_ make sense, Witchy" Toph grumbles. "You have to go home, to fight for your place and…"  
>"You can be Fire Lord" Zuko whispers to Ursa.<p>

"No" Ursa says frowning in confusion at him. "Either you are trying to shirk your responsibilities or you have a terminal illness… and I know it is neither because I didn't birth some cowardly sickly man…"

"I don't…"

"Just because things are hard Zuko" Ursa murmurs. "Doesn't mean they aren't achievable… now, the plan is to…"  
>"Imprison Zuko and his Urchin…" Azula says.<p>

"I am not…" Toph grumbles while Zuko pointedly keeps watch of the bound and motionless prisoners.

"We have them bound nice and tight and we dress up as these two worst soldiers on the planet over there" Azula finishes. "But we have to be convincing… some sacrifices shall have to be made"

"What do we do when we are on the ship?" Zuko asks.

"Well, you will be in some mangy prison cell being fed frog-rat droppings and Ursa and I will be good soldiers who captured the Fire Lord and his Urchin feasting on some glorious reward"

"She is not my _urchin_" Zuko snaps. "You need to stop with that… Toph and I have been good friends for years now and…"  
>"<em>Whatever<em>" Azula cuts in impatiently. "You will have time to sort that out _together_ in your little prison cell… in the mean time, moving on to more important matters that don't centre around unresolved attraction and _blind_ ambition… could the idiot soldiers strip please?"

Xx~xx~xX

X~x~X

X

They could hear the heavy footfalls of Banik and Onashi following them through the narrow corridor, the footfalls of two clumsy beings under the notion they were being silent and stealthy-following them with an intent fixation on delivering revenge on them but these were just slight matters compared to the task at hand…

"Okay, we are heading down the third level…"

"Would that be sort of the basement of the ship..?"

"You really don't know _anything _about battle… wars or weapons of _mass destruction_" Jet muttered, leading Hokoza through the corridor at a fast pace, and paying little attention to their pursuer-he knew how valuable they were for his plan to work .

"All I know is sunshine and love" Hokoza murmured, grinning widely and nudging Jet in the ribs. "If ever you need help with that…"

"I'll be sure to call you" Jet laughed.

"And you will find me right beside you with a dose of love ready" Hokoza laughed.

They stopped in front of an iron door with three giant bolts sealing it shut from the outside. It was inconspicuous to the untrained eye as a cell holding a young Fire Lord and an exceptional Earth Bender inside it.

"We are here…" Jet whispered, looking down the corridor and back up from were they had come from. "This is it…"  
>"You are most talented at plans" Hokoza murmured. "I think this might just work…"<p>

"Of course it will…" Jet snapped. "We get them out just before the break of dawn but we are going to need to replace their bodies"

"Why?"

"They are nailed inside!" Jet huffed impatiently. "If we get them out and replace them… it will be a while before anyone discovers they are missing. Nailed inside means no one is going to look but the box stays heavy with squirming prisoners…"

"You are most devious…."Hokoza murmured, frowning slightly. "It worries me"

Xx~xx~xX

_The uncharted lands Toph and I had ventured into; the territories that covered our life form, the planes of our flesh and the feel of our life fuel moving through our veins under soft skin…_

_These beautiful landscapes that were entirely forbidden outside of our rectangular constricting wooden heaven… these exotic lands…._

_The soft dunes and down feathers that made up her structure in exquisiteness. The limited movement the enclosed space allowed for me to feel touch through her cotton secondary skin…_

_It was all she allowed of me; my hands to navigate over her on the course only she permitted, all after releasing me from the binds I had not realised imprisoned me-she curbed my appetite after giving me a sample of only a milligram measure of this _addictive drug,_ this persistent poison that was saccharine to my senses… after this unveiling of raw heady __**want**__ I had contained, this introduction to sweet sin and here I was willingly damning myself for her, pure thoughts released ad stained forever in this box…_

_And I couldn't even manage a kiss…._

"Not the lips…"

"What… _but I want the_ _lips_" I breathed trying to reach for her lips with my own and only managing to brush up on to the skin at the corner of her mouth. She giggled a little and tried to pull my hand out of her hair. It was just a kiss but her refusal and unwillingness to let me… taste… turned it into a concentrated centre of pure pleasure that I needed to reach…

"Why not Toph" I groaned trying to angle her head back to my face.

"Just…"

"You were all about living in the moment…" I huffed, pulling her face down towards me and groaning when she refused to comply for my desperate confusing need to kiss her. Confusing need to touch, to feel and to taste her…

"Living in the moment" she whispered-breathed by my ear "Is different to throwing the future away"

"Bei Fong this isn't the time for riddles…!" I hissed, overcoming my restraints and diving into her neck-nudging the soft flesh there with my nose and inhaling. "Just… Argh"

"Zu…"

"Toph" I let out a breath and kissed her there, feeling her body tense at the contact of my lips on her neck. I licked her, one swift movement of my tongue up the length of her neck reaching towards her defined jaw and ending my tongues journey with a hot moist kiss. She breathed once, a heavy uncontrolled gasp and moaned, rocking over me again and pulling mercilessly at my hair.

We continued the motion, all control lost on me, any memory of how I had come to this little hidden heaven in the confines of the sweet wooden box gone… her heated skin still warm against my hot one, her legs rubbing over my own furiously and the muscles tensing and releasing in her thighs and pressing down on me in a promise of something entirely more decadent than this little morsel she and I were sampling…

I wanted to touch everywhere… I needed to touch her everywhere but our little box restricted us to our furious rubbing and hair pulling and yet it was all the incentive my body needed. The friction of her over me, the sweet smell of her suffocating me and the stronghold we found ourselves in each others arms was disastrously perfect. Entirely wrong and addictive… it felt like losing and winning simultaneously. If I had been weak enough or brave enough (depending on ones standing) and I had taken to a drug… I had no doubt that this feeling would encompass it to the core…

"Oh" she moaned by my ear. "Oh Zuko…. Oooh…"

She was above me; over my abdomen…moving lower right _over_ me… and we had left all control behind…

"I… sorry" I muttered, stilling my movements instantly when she moved over me living little doubt that she didn't feel the hardened length of me when she stopped abruptly. "I am…"

"Oh…" she groaned throatily, arching difficultly in the little space down on me and rocking right over me, hard and desperate… "Zuko!"

"Stop…" I groaned but thrust up instead of pushing her off me, grinding with each movement "I need you to…"  
>"Mhmm" she moaned, groaned and breathed hard into my ear, a sound full of pure pleasure and I felt the heat of her, right through her pants, pressing hard and anxiously… rubbing…<p>

"Ahhh… Toph, Oh Agni" I breathed my hands slackening from her hair and falling away to some crowded space surrounding us in a drunken state, my vision of shadowed darkness replaced by a hot red colour and mouth filled with a cottony feel that might have been her hair…

"Hey!" a gruff voice shouted and in an instant the box jerked violently after the unknown person kicked it violently. "Sorry to break your climatic ending…"

"But my master plan did not involve you two idiots making out in a casket!" the individual hissed. "Now I am going to wrench this open while you push up… on three!"

"That is very good word play _Jet_" a softer asexual voice chuckled. "But extremely disturbing for me…"

"Three…!" he hissed and I scrambled to meet his wrenching with my pushing.

"If anything goes wrong…" I whispered to Toph. "Just know this… was possibly… definitely…"

"Yeah, me too" she murmured.

Xx~xx~xX

"Okay… uhm…?" Azula stammered, visibly uncomfortable and still managing to find humour in our _predicament._

I stood behind Toph, trying to adjust her shirt that had somehow gotten twisted by the hem and rise away from her stomach whilst willing my blood flow to abate from heading south quicker ad remain hidden from my mothers eyes and fixing my own clothes.

"We shall blame it on the…" Azula said thoughtfully placing an index finger on her sparsely bearded chin and looking up to the ceiling of the dark room for the answer to her statement.

"Lack of air" I muttered, hoarsely stepping slowly from behind Toph and casting Ursa a quick look.

"Lack of air and…" Azula continued her torture games, grinning widely.

"Get over it, Schizo" Toph growled attacking her hair with her fingers ad turning it into a fuzz curtain hiding her eyes.

"You insufferable little Urchin!" Azula hissed. "I told you what she would do to you… when she had you flat on your back, anyway… Playtime is over; we are heading back to the palace, to reality and to _Mai_"

"Yes" Ursa whispered. "Isn't it time to put the two boys in the coffin…?"

"Oh, almost forgot" Azula sighed. "I got caught up with Zuko's art work on the lid of the box"

I looked over to the box-to the giant thick lid that had encased Toph and I-and saw black ashy smudges smouldered all over the three quarter section, had prints pressed hard on the under side of the lid ad burning the remembrance of what it felt like to hold in emotions… to pull back my chi when it was fuelled by something entirely more terrifying, lustrous and sensual…

"Well, at least you left your 'I was There Print'" Azula muttered. "But why you would try to burn out of a fire treated death trap is beside me… unless suicide had become an option to get away from being raped…"

"How is it you have a beard" I asked quickly, already feeling my ski flush at the memory of 'Almost being Raped'.

"I wouldn't touch that…"Ursa began but my finger tips had already made contact with Azula's chin.

"You really want to know Zuko?" she asked grinning wide and impishly. "It involves wood sap ad a secret ingredient"

"Well…" I peered at the soft curly hairs that were stuck to her face.

"Its pubic hair…" Azula said softly a devious twinkle in her eyes. "My own… and you just touched it"

"Argh!" I shrieked jumping back from her and wiping my hand furiously on my pants. "You little…"  
>"Your curiosity always gets you in trouble…" Azula murmured.<br>"Why pubic hair… why did you let me touch… oh you are evil"

"That is… so... after everything…" Toph gasped doubled over and laughing.

"Get Banik and his skinny friend into the coffin" Ursa sighed impatiently. "Your bickering is counter productive… the sun will be up soon and we need the cover of darkness"  
>"Why are they naked…?" I asked looking at the pale bodies of the unconscious two men.<p>

"Well, unless you want this plan to fail" Azula snapped "Stop asking questions and get into the clothes so we can literally walk of this boat free ad unnoticed"

"You might be crazy…"Toph murmured grinning "But you are a genius"  
>"Tell me something I dot know" Azula smiled back unwillingly.<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE: I HOPE THIS DOESN'T FEEL entirely Rushed.**

**Just a little 'cooling chapter' after the packed events of the last. Remember to Review your love, dislikes and suggestions. This would be the first time ever I delve into any form of sexualised characters or atmosphere blatantly and uhm, a little nervous so a head nod that things are going proper would be much appreciated!**

**The dynamics of Ursa and Azula's relationship are sort of like Iroh ad Zuko. I have no idea why… it just happened like that. I think Ursa looks at Azula with a sort of reverence filled wonder and slight appreciative humour to Azula's way of thinking…While Azula has an over protectiveness about her-towards her mother. She doesn't like people messing with her _mommy_…**

**Remember to review ad until next time…**

**xxTJ**


	24. The Wild Ones

_I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for it self_

_A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for it self_

_**David Herbert Lawrence**_

_**XXxxx~XxX~xxxXX**_

_**X~x~X** _

The palace was quiet; the garden dry, bare and lawn a desiccated parched thirsty carpet. The fountain water sprinkled feebly to its base, the lime spreading over the marble and discolouring its white glory to something entirely imperfect.

In the third floor, the giant office over looking the sea-over looking the port-General Iroh stood locked in a silent challenge with Garza. He stood alone behind the giant table, his hands clenched behind his back and face unfamiliarly terrifying… he had just been informed of his son, his nephew… the true Fire Lords death at the hands of the Grand Master Earth Bender. He had just been informed of his Zuko's death and the conspiracy surrounding it.

"Well…."Garza murmured softly. "The word is… and this is from Fang who managed to retrieve our young misguided Fire Lord… there was a scuttle, she wouldn't hand him over and ultimately decided to kill him… to ensure the Earth Nation lands would remain uncompromised… it was a conspiracy of the highest order, spanning from the very King of the Earth Nation to eliminate our Fire Lord and some _other _ambitious _forces _that wanted the Fire Nation throne…"

Iroh remained silent, face blank of any emotion besides the boiling lava in his veins causing his face turn an angry red.

"And the story is…" Garza continued, shaking his head in fake despair and conning disbelief "You knew the girl… this supposed Noble of the Earth Nation. You knew her _personally _and…"  
>"I see…" Iroh said softly-his voice rough and low from the many debates, struggles and wars he had to go through to keep his son-his nephew's throne in place. His body was tired, his very chi had never been allowed a moments of rest, and it flushed weakly and all he needed was <em>a little nap <em>but now, only Zuko was granted _sleep_…"I knew the girl and now she has killed my son"

"Your nephew" Garza muttered scowling. "Do you understand what this means?"  
>"Fully"<br>"I am only being your _friend_ through all of this…" Garza said. "For old times…"  
>"Yes… for old times…"<br>"You have to leave the palace Iroh"

"You want me to leave?"  
>"To run" Garza said clearly and short.<p>

"You want me to run when my son..."  
>"Nephew" Garza snapped.<p>

"You want me to run when my nephew has been murdered"  
>"Do you not understand the implications Iroh" Garza hissed, pounding a fisted hand on the sturdy table "You are to be tried with treason, murder and other numerous things that will ensure…"<br>"You want me to run and seal any doubts that I am the culprit?"

"Well…." Garza grinned. "When you put it that way…"  
>"How… how did he die…?" Iroh murmured, staring at the scorch mark Zuko had left on the table. "Where is my son"<br>"He is not your son, you pathetic old fool!" Garza snarled.

"Where is he…?" Iroh said softly, the muscles on his face twitching, his heart banging against his chest and his vision blurring with the image of a sulking Zuko… brooding and angry and still impossibly amazing and gifted in his youth.

"He is in a casket" Garza murmured and added, grinning sickly "With your little blind whore that you shared with your nephew"

The world spun, the room twisting and wobbling and Garza's frame seemed to grow and bubble, turning into a giant puss infested sore dragon looming over Iroh. He hit the floor with a heavy thud, heart beating too fast, and skin crawling with heat and dripping with thick sweat. His vision blurred, contracted and focused.

He saw the dragon standing over him, fire escaping its mouth and tongue licking scaled lips…

"Iroh…" the dragon growled. "Didn't you see this coming"  
>He groaned low hand reaching for his heart, trying to stop it from escaping but it hammered furiously…<p>

"Iroh… you were brave" the dragon snarled. "Iroh you were strong… but your time is up. The Avatar has been lured by the disrupting soldiers in the Earth Nation, his little Water Bender in tow… and you were left here to wonder of an idiotic nephew but you were at least granted time to feel the throne you were robbed by Ozai. Your time is up old man…"

"Now I may have to find a casket bigger enough to fit you in with the spoilt Fire Lord brat and that _Earth Nation thing_…" the dragon laughed. "I always knew Zuko would be the one to kill you…"

"The house of Sozin may live on under my charge" the dragon cackled "But Ozai and Iroh's sons are no more"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Sanity begins at birth and is maintained in the simple nature of growing up, it retains its structure through the hugs of a mother, the soft cuddles from a father and gentle murmuring from the two Gods that made you that you are perfect and wonderful and innocent… sanity is conforming to the social perimeters set out by your immediate social environment as you grow up . Sanity is fear of stepping out of these boundaries as time moves…

Sanity is the jail of the mind and will stop you from saving your own life, because the sane stop and think of their predicaments, the sane feel their pain ad the unjust things that affect their simple lives with sick obsessive fascination...

Hugs were for the weak, soft cuddles replaced by ruthless training and any thoughts on being perfect and wonderfully innocent replaced by murmurs of ruthless intelligence appreciated above pathetic drawings of Fire Lilies. Inhibited ambition replaced her competitiveness. Blind vindictive _obsession _replaced love and she was irrevocably Azula through it all.

There are a few factors that cause one to go_ truly insane_.

Psychological, Spiritual and Physical and everything in between expands between these three.

One of each for most but _all of these_ for Azula; every part of her form and structure was broke in all three factors. She knew that healing the wounds would not erase the scars. You could give a blind man his sight but he would not begin to comprehend what is in front of him, how far away it is and what the colour or name for the _thing _was unless he reached out and touched, eyes closed…

Everything felt subjective, entirely twisted and wrapped around how it would affect her immediate environment and any threat to the sanctuary of her well being had to be dealt with, with the utmost effectiveness and limitless exertions. She had no time for _self pity…_

It was all black and white; what was good and bad-for her. Ozai had trained her in this regard, the good and bad in context to her well being and his well being. Her well being was entirely tied in with his and Ozai had been to her the embodiment of what the Fire Nation was. Serving her father, was serving the Nation and serving the Nation was_ good_…

This had been her mantra since birth. This had been her bread and water. Take away her bread and water and you have left her to _starve… _

She knew… she felt it in the way everything she saw retained its colour and suspicion. There were no Rainbow Sunshine Kangaroo-Lama's running around in her mind or sprinkles of lavender honey sifting through her soul at the thought of love and life…

She still thought it was overrated. She still thought with ruthless strategy and painful conviction on each mission that involved serving the Fire Nation but now, in her mind… when she thought of Fire Nation… she thought of Zuko and Zuko never asked anything of her. He just looked at her with eyes full of a suspended fear that she would sneer at him any moment and fling lightning to his heart.

Her mind would never be healed but her heart was finally whole. The cancer was gone, the inhibitor that had been placed from birth had been wrenched off and she could feel fully without fear.

Insanity is not for the faint hearted; her heart had been broken by her father the moment he told her it was vital she go to her soon to be husband and _grow up, _mere hours before her coronation as Fire Lord. Go to the old man and become Fire Lord…

Her heart had been broken but she knew as she thought on the words that Ozai had murmured-commanding her to forget she was strong and be weak in the moment and bend to the will of _him_-she knew that her new Fire Lord… her Zuko, would never send her to prove herself worthy of his love, of any _love_...

Insanity is not for the Faint Hearted and her heart had been broken.

She was still insane but now she had a heart beating with the intensity of a thousand wild stallions, feeling with the abundance of water in the very seas and strong with the love of her _mother._ Obsession fell away and was replaced with ruthless love and loyalty twisted into an intense emotion by the time it filtered through her intricate mind and settled in her heart.

Insanity is not for the Faint Hearted and Azula's Heart was pumping powerfully behind her chest.

Xx~xx~xX

"Put the helmet on" she commanded her brother slowly.

She watched him carefully as he placed the light silver coloured helmet over his head, his head fitting too snugly underneath it thanks to the mass of ebony mane surrounding his already too big head and laden with different fragments sticking out of the tendrils from their journeys on the Island.

"You need to shave" Azula sighed.

"Why can't we just go out and…" Zuko grumbled, removing the helmet and scowling at the head piece.

"Shut up" Toph murmured. "Azula knows what she is doing" 

Azula would have rather preferred Toph did not understand her, she would have preferred it better if Toph didn't trust her and still thought her a threat to her very own brother… it would make it easier for her to categorise her feeling for Toph. It didn't make sense for the Blind Girl to understand her rigid splayed logic better than any one else. It didn't make sense for her to be fond for the Urchin because she wasn't Fire Nation or more importantly her f_amily_…

"What are we doing, Azula" Zuko asked petulantly. He was sulky, moody and difficult… more than usual and it had everything to do with his silly Urchin… she just knew it even if he didn't.

"Escaping" Azula snapped. It bothered her that he didn't see _her logic_, or what Toph defined as 'Method to her Madness'.

"Isn't it obvious" she sighed, rolling her eyes. "We need to escape, we need to do so quietly and you are _very noticeable.._"  
>"Am not" Zuko grumbled shooting her a sulky look accompanied by pouting mouth.<p>

"You have a little eye problem that begs to differ" she replied dryly and he touched a finger to his burnt eye absently. "You have a rugged beard on a strict army ship…"

"Uh…" he stammered, feeling his chin. "You have a beard too"  
>"I just explained why I had to have a little facial hair and why… Ursa, uhm… mother… had to have her fore head cut…"<br>"Because you are sadistic?" Zuko muttered.

"He is just being ignorant of the fact and now we are wasting time… again" Toph sighed.

"Shave" Azula ordered, handing Zuko his blades. "Quickly and you have to do a clean job…"  
>"You are so…"<br>"Brilliant" Toph finished and Azula felt the heat rising over her neck. "You have to anticipate your enemies move, I think that's why I get you Witchy…"  
>Zuko's face turned sour-as it always did when Azula and Toph agreed on something-and he began hastily but carefully shaving with the sharp edge of his blade all while sending petulant scowls to Azula. It was almost like he didn't want to escape, like he wanted to remain in the casket… with Toph… Idiot.<p>

"With Earth bending it is all about being patient and anticipating your enemies move and blocking… well, more especially with my _Blind Bending_" Toph murmured, fidgeting in her Fire Nation Army uniform "You are very like that, in the way you think… even talk…"  
>"My deductive skills are well above the average human" Azula said still blushing at having her importance and perfection recognised.<p>

"Yeah…"Toph said softly. "I mean… what if the Generals questioned your authenticity at being soldiers… Katara would have failed dismally on that one…"  
>"It takes brains to pull of what I am guessing is a very accurate display of a man visually" Toph grinned at her. "It takes guts to shave ones pubic hairs and plaster them on your face!"<p>

"Well…"Ursa muttered. "I think I might have preferred the pubic hair to the rock being flung to my head without warning"

"This conversation ends now" Zuko snapped.

"Why" Toph challenged.

"Because…" he huffed looking at all of them like the answer was so simple and plane before huffing angrily again. "Because I am the bloody Fire Lord that's why and I don't want to be discussing pubic hair with my mother and sister and… Urchin!"

"Call me your Urchin and I'll rip of a few of _your _short and curlies right now and plaster them to your forehead…!" Toph hissed.

"Thought you already had" Azula chuckled.

Xx~xx~xX

_They moved quickly through the lower corridor, walking stiffly and keeping their heads straight and held up high. The ship was nearing the port and the flurry of movement was abundant that no one would notice the four oddly dressed huddled individuals (none of them had an accurate fitting in their borrowed army uniforms) or the tall soldier with the covered face under his helmet._

_It had been as easy as Azula had insured; they walked back into the chamber the treacherous General had given her-calmly and with mild speed-pretending to retrieve belongings and headed to the top. They stood there with the sea of soldiers who had been informed little on the lost Fire Lord who had been rescued and not captured, they stood still amongst the chattering sea of burgundy clad men and women all high on a victory they thought they had achieved. The port was in sight and in seconds they would head of the dock, move swiftly through the sea side markets and head into the jungle-because as Azula had pointed out… the moment they realise the Fire Lord and Earth Bender in the casket are two plain men who got too ambitious… the village would be stormed by a desperate tornado of foot soldiers seeking to save their masters heads._

_They would head out to the Jungle, dispose of their army uniform and garner new disguises before heading back into _their_ palace-to Iroh. _

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Remember to review, we are back in the Fire Nation… oh what could happen, the fear and terror, lol…**

**Azula is _Azula _and to be brilliant and exceptional means doing things the normal person is too scared to do, too conscious and aware of social restrictions to do... If she was _sane_ we would have to call her _Jane_. I just typed that out… the facial hair thing when I was half asleep and decided to be daring and leave it in when I reread the chapter the next morning.**

**I was trying to figure out how Azula would pull of a disguise-and the answer kids is; with utmost dedication and obsessive perfection.**


	25. The Rise of the Dragon

**THE RISE OF THE DRAGON**

_THE GREATEST TRICK THE DEVIL PLAYED WAS CONVINCING THE WORLD HE DID OT EXIST_

CHARLES BAUDELAIRE

"_There are forces that will seek to destroy you, Iroh"  
>"I am already destroyed" he rasped, his hand flinging out from under him, sliding over the dusty cemented floor of the mouldy cellar.<em>

"_There are forces that seek to destroy him" murmured the glowing man in the cover of the shadows, floating in the corner of the gloomy abandoned cellar and watching him with loving eyes his pathetic broken form on the ground. Disposed of by Garza's men, left to either die from his heart attack or die from being forgotten after time._

"_He is dead" he coughed rolling on his side and trying to get a clear visual on the man in the flowing white royal garment._

"_Are you Ozai?" he asked the white-clad man. "Are you Ozai from the after life…?"_

"_He will be destroyed" the man said stepping closer. "Father"  
>"Lu…?"<em>

"_Zuko" Lu Ten murmured crouching by his father. "If he dies father, then you die and if you die then he will die"  
>"He is already dead!" Iroh cried his voice sifting through his split vision on reality but remaining unheard in the dark desolate old wine cellar.<em>

"_Then surely you would be dead too?"_

"_I am… I am… they killed little Toph and my son!" he wailed. "They killed them and will desecrate his memory to the world… everything he worked for, everything he will achieve…"_

"_What did Garza ask of you…?" Lu Ten whispered tensely. "What did he say to you last?"_

"_The house of Sozin may live on under Garza's charge_ _but Ozai and Iroh's sons are no more_" _Iroh said softly the words ringing and bounding of the walls of his mind._

"_The house of Sozin may live…?" Iroh murmured thoughtfully but Lu Ten had left him-his son had left him lucid and with hope._

"The house of Sozin may live…" Iroh coughed. "There is an heir… he wants to be… he will rule behind this heir…"

He wobbled to his swollen feet, ignoring the sharp pain shooting up from the bare soles through to his calf and coming to rest on his hip. He blinked rapidly, focusing and diffusing his vision and letting the shadowed light become sufficient enough for him to navigate his way to the front of his large prison.

"If I die… he will die…" he said softly. He thought of how sure Garza had been of Zuko's death… but Lu Ten knew otherwise and even in his old age… even in his rational mind his soul begged for him to _believe _his dead son.

"How dare I lose hope in you, Zuko" he said voice full of strength and self disappointment. "Forgive this old fool my son-my nephew… how dare I doubt the strength you possess, how dare I doubt Lady Grand Master Bei Fong's immoveable conviction… he could ever be able to kill two such forces…"

"There is an heir and he will not have it" he growled.

"_The Dragon lives on_"

Xx~xx~Xx

xxx

X~XxX~X

"Prepare the Royal Board room for a meeting" Garza murmured touching a finger to the black scorch on the giant table. "I want a new desk… with gold in lay"

"Yes… General Garza?" Qie Chang , the secretary said watching as the well fed man walked the length of the desk, his fingers feeling the grain of the dark wood, his entire being at peace and ease as his heart rests knowing his plan was executed with precision.

"Leave" Garza said softly sitting down in the grand chair behind the desk. "Take the letter to Lady Kuya directly… it is sealed"

The skinny boy left swiftly and uneasily-the recent weeks had been entirely torturous for him. He may not know the inside circle of the 'Big Men' in the nobility but he knew the Fire Lord. He knew Lord Zuko…

He may have been the youngest Fire Lord but he had been the most compassionate in his own gruff way, he may have had a temper that was reminiscent of Ozai but he never intentionally hurt anyone if he could help it… he also gave Qie Chang a bonus and two beautiful Ostrich-Horses after he had flung his writing coal at his head in anger…

He liked Fire Lord Zuko just as much as he was terrified of his wayward temper… and the Fire Lord's sudden disappearance after the attack on the palace, the Fire Lord's disappearance after the soldiers had attempted the coup only to be foiled by the Avatar and General Iroh… it had worried him. It had worried several other staff members who knew the Fire Lord outside of his title.

His hand maidens who would fan him on hot days and serve him his food and snacks; they talked about his fondness for his Uncle and his abrupt handsomeness over the years that accompanied with his prominent scar gave him a fierce beauty that made it hard to think… difficult not to wonder and accompanied with surprising awkwardness with women was entirely _appealing_. They would giggle together on their tea-breaks on how they had spotted him leaving the bath or were luckily enough to be on hand during his shirtless training…

His training assistance spoke of his strict regiment and unwavering focus to be good at anything he set out to do. They spoke of his acknowledgment of their presence which was unlike most Nobles who would move past them as though they came with the furniture. They spoke of his requests to have the mirrors removed in his room-which they knew was to do with his scar.

And they all spoke of those deciding weeks before his disappearance when strange things had been happening in the palace. They spoke of the Water Master's constant rips to the forbidden chambers and the burn marks she would have on her return back. They spoke of the striking Earth Nation Blind Beauty who seemed to not realise she was of great Nobility and had insisted on being taught by Oishii how to cook for herself, had asked a hand maiden to show her how to prepare her hair and make it straight on her own because she didn't like all the "Moving around her face" that accompanied preparing for a formal ball. They spoke of the Fire Lord's tense movements around her, they spoke of the General Iroh's little tea meetings with her and they knew her as the 'Lost Daughter of Iroh'.

They watched with in horror as the Fire Lord began to lose his hold on his own mind. They watched with distress as his focus was lost and a weird obsession with training past his Master Fire Bender title ensued.

They saw the order signed by Lady Mai for the sleeping medication from the Royal Herbalist. They murmured their concern when their presence around the Fire Lord was restricted by Lady Mai's mother…

Doors were suddenly locked; movement restricted and strange meetings between unlikely individuals took place around the Royal grounds.

And when he did disappear… with the Earth Nation Beauty, the night the soldiers stormed the ground baying for the removal of _other Nations _and their Fire Lord to be handed over so they could _clear his mind of evil whispered by treacherous family members_… they knew he was safe.

But now… things were different. The Dragon General who had worked so hard to ensure stability who had braved numerous assassination attempts-was missing.

All they could do was watch… till the end.

Xx~xx~xX

"Lady Kuya …?" the thin young man murmured. "I have a letter for you… it is urgent"

"You may leave" Kuya breathed taking the letter and walking over to the dressing table where Mai was sitting still. She read it quietly-careful that Mai remained engrossed in her thoughts before burning it slowly in the flame of a scented candle till it was an ashy pile.

"We will announce your pregnancy in a few day's time" Kuya said softly, taking a comb from the ornate comb stand and combing her 'soon to be Fire Lady' daughters hair.

"Why?" Mai asked. She gazed at her image in the mirror. She was thinner, her eyes sallow and dark and behind her, her mother stood with perfect poise and the utmost picture of health and wealth.

"He is found" Kuya murmured giggling a little. "With Iroh's Earth Bending whore…"

"I _know _you don't believe _that_" Mai rasped before coughing a little "Are these burning spices really necessary… they are wreaking havoc on my sinuses!"

"They help you to relax Mai" Kuya muttered frowning slightly, her daughter was so weak, punishing herself for something she had no part in directly or held any knowledge of and her odd fuss over the unborn baby accompanied with her slight dislike of the tiny child growing in her was concerning…

The order was for her not to know of Zuko's death. The order was that she would find out at the unveiling of the body… she would weep like a widower and clear her name and any suspicions…

"You should be happy to be carrying his child" Kuya murmured tying the thin limp hair and twirling it into a bun. "If you love him so much you should be honoured to be carrying his child and stop trying to starve the child through yourself…"  
>"It is because I love him that I do this" Mai whispered and Kuya saw form the mirror the red ring forming around her eyes and the thick liquid covering Mai's large eyes. "I have dishonoured him…"<p>

"It had to be done…" Kuya snapped. "He was under the influence of the Water Bender… she wanted him…"  
>"But she loves Aang…" Mai bubbled<br>"Stupid girl… she is an ambitious pleb… she loves all men with a title!" Kuya hissed tugging the bun sharply and tying it to tight at the base of Mai's head.

"Now…"Kuya said softly, regaining her motherly composure "You will eat for your baby… okay?"

"Yes, mother" Mai said dryly wiping the tears from her eyes with her cotton disc. "Maybe Zuko won't mind…"  
>"What the hell are you on about?" Kuya shouted, dropping the brush on the marble floor and wheeling Mai around. "What man will <em>mind <em>his fiancé carrying _his _child…!"  
>"None" Mai answered clearly.<p>

"So stop this nonsense…!" Kuya hissed. "Men do not get _raped _and more especially not by their future _wives!"_

"I didn't rape him…"  
>"Exactly" Kuya breathed, her hand resting over her pounding heart. "You didn't… you are pure and innocent in all of this"<p>

"No one is pure or innocent" Mai said coolly "Not even this _child_"

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you know why he has called us…?"  
>"Shut up you paedophilic <em>fool<em>…" Ming hissed to Yu Lee, rolling his head irritably on his shoulder. "The boy has been found, what else could he have called us for…?"

"The boy has been found…"Fang murmured grinning widely "And he is dead"  
>"How…?"<br>"Well, we locked him in with the Earth Nation spy…" Fang said slowly, his frame glowing with the pride he felt at being the one to cast the differentiating blow to Sozin's line "Cut of the air supply in the casket and stabbed the girl"

"How… did anyone…"Ming stammered looking to Yu Lee for support on his worries and doubts "No one saw the bodies…?"  
>"Done through the casket by an unassuming soldier" Fang snorted. "It was too easy and simple… Garza has a way of making everything seem so dramatic… that boy is no Force to be Feared"<p>

"Hmm" Yu Lee murmured his beady eyes swivelling over the other Noble men before him. "This is good… as it is my resources that sponsored the ship to sail for days…."  
>"And as it is my navy skills that managed to locate the cloaked island…" Fang breathed sharply eyes narrowed over the fat Yu Lee's greedy posture.<p>

"You are all mistaken…"Ming laughed. "I worked closely with Garza on this plot… it was I who convinced Kuya to get the girl to…"

"Are you implying you are to be Fire Lord?" hissed Fang. "You did not lift a finger to this _change…!_"  
>"And you did?" Ming shrieked, rising abruptly from his seat on the board table and thin long fingers curling into shaking pallid fists. "It is your <em>father <em>Fang who has been the driving force behind your campaign… and by all essence maybe he should lead your _house…"  
><em>"You insult me!" Fang roared pushing out of his chair clumsily "You insult me Ming… you insult…" 

"Do shut up the both of you " Garza said softly entering the board room swiftly and with little sound, Mahazai in tow. "You insulted yourselves by assuming too much. No one is to be Fire Lord"

"What!" the three men gasped, eyes wide and unbelieving over Garza's calm smug face.

"Sit down and stop thinking before you give yourselves brain aneurisms!" Garza laughed, indicating for Mahazai to take the seat by his right hand side.

"Now… I am guessing you want details?" Garza asked standing behind the large leather seat reserved for the Fire Lord.

"Well…" he murmured, smiling softly-almost innocently. "I shall tell you the story of the destruction of Azulon's house, Iroh's house and finally Ozai's house…"  
>"Iroh is dead" Garza sneered. "I saw to it without even lifting a finger. All the assassination attempts he managed to avoid, the poisoning of his food, the young girls he turned away from his chamber that were sent to kill him… all of it counted for naught. He heard his nephew was dead and had a heart attack-as simple as that… he is currently rotting in a cellar somewhere in the underground labyrinth of the palace"<p>

"But I thought Iroh was to take the blame…?" Fang muttered.

"He is…" Garza frowned at how he had to rely on these dim men who could barely keep up with simple logic of a coup "To the rest of the world he has run of at the announcement that Fang retrieved the Fire Lord and heard the confession from the Earth Bender that Iroh instructed her to poison his mind, and the bitch then killed our poor Zuko"

"Oh…" the three men murmured while Mahazai sat still and emotionless.

"Mahazai is to reprise his role as Governor of New Ozai" Garza said placing a stout had on Mahazai's shoulder.

"Why…!" Fang hissed.

"The Capital is to be renamed yet again back to New Ozai?" Ming asked eyes wide and thin face comically resembling a scarecrow.

"_Why" _Yu Lee asked leaning back in the luxurious chair and narrowing his eyes on Garza's face.

"In essence… we would not be here if not for Ozai's ambitions" Garza laughed. "And besides… the order comes from high up… from those who are more intelligent than us…"

"What can be higher than you?" Ming asked softly, his heart beating slightly faster as he calculated the situation they had found themselves in-conspiracies on top of conspiracies. "What can be higher than you…. my greedy two faced friend and loving enemy?"

"You can fill in that answer for yourselves" Garza laughed. "If you want and if it would make you feel better… I can say that Agni spoke to me in a dream?"

"And of course…" Garza said wiping the tears of joy from his eyes "Mahazai's daughter will hold the title because it is _necessary _she be deemed Fire Lord. The child is to be immediately influenced by your house, Mahazai… and as the father has no living descendants left to contest… I will be giving you orders and instruction"

"And I…?" Fang growled. "It was I who captured him… it was I who brought about his _destruction…_"

"You did not capture him!" Garza roared and Yu Lee snickered at Fang's incredulous terrified look at the change in Garza's mood.

"What you did do… and if you wish to live you better recite this you silly monkey-rabbit" Garza said softly walking over to Fangs seat and wheeling him around, watching the sweat droplets begin to cover Fang's face "What you did do is rescue the Fire Lord who was delirious and under the influence of Iroh's Whore-an Earth Nation Noble who seduced Iroh into betraying his nephew. The Earth Nation bitch killed him by some weird dirt suffocation technique and you were forced to slice her"

He let go of the chair and returned to his seat, calm and collected and heaved a heavy breath.

"This will all be announced at the casket's unveiling… the two bodies shown to the Noble houses and community leaders and Fire Sages" Garza said smiling. "You will be receiving a new title Fang-for your efforts-that rivals Sainthood for your Moral efforts in rescuing our young Fire Lord as well as riches"  
>"Hmm… that sounds like second prize" Fang whispered scowling violently.<p>

"Do you not want a prize then?" Garza asked.

"Fine" Fang snapped. "Fine…" 

"Gentlemen" Garza addressed eyeing his treacherous allies. "You need to remember the Avatar is back and the other Nations wont hesitate to unite against us… we have to keep the illusion of legal honourable events on our part that ended with the house of Azulon. None of us can take the title of Fire Lord without sending the Fire Nation into chaos"

"Then…?" Fang murmured frowning in confusion.

"The dead boy's child…"

Xx~xx~xX

X~x~X

X

She stands still in the shadows of the trees, gazing past the shadows and peering through the darkness with veiled eyes, green and opaque-unseeing and perceptive… she stands still under the trees the sun filtering through the green canopy and casting a glowing green shimmer around her…

"Zuko…"Ursa murmurs, tugging my hand and demanding my attention. "We need to speak…"

"Yes..?" I say hoarsely-my fears of her leaving me again, Azula regressing and forgetting the importance of being _loved _and the impending departure of Toph from my life, possibly forever…. Looming heavily over my heart and throwing up through those simple tense words-"we need to speak"

"Come" she instructs her fingers weaving into my thicker longer ones and grasping my hand tightly. "In private…"

I want to joke on how we would need to take a fifteen minute walk into the woods to get any privacy but any mention of Toph out loud hurts. She leads me a little further of from the dense trees we had been hidden under-away from Azula's scowling form seated at the base of a tree, watching my two flowers and Toph's eerie motionless presence in the splayed light filtering through the leaves.

"Zuko…" she says softly her eyes closed but a small smile playing on her lips. "You need to concentrate"  
>"What…?"<p>

"You have forgotten why you needed to return to your Nation…"  
>"I have not…" I begin but I stop when the truth becomes plain to me.<p>

"Zuko" she opens her eyes and I feel like buckling under the love she has for me- I immediately feel guilty for _forgetting _my purpose…

"Zuko, Toph has to leave" she whispers.

"I know…" I gulp glaring at a shrub behind her and clenching my fists.

"Azula is leading this operation… you realise that?"

"Yes…" I hiss trying not to get angry at her for pointing out reality when I had been _following _blindly with every step Azula had laid out for me and shielding myself from life-my mind locked in the safety of the large wood casket with Toph…

"Your sister is not well" Ursa says softly, sadness creeping into her eyes. "She never will be… but she is not disillusioned…"  
>"Yes…" I breathe looking at the ground guiltily. I was the head of our house… I was the Dragon of our family <em>now<em> but I had been acting like a little child… like a Lizard-bug… squirming and skittering after them.

"Azula…" Ursa murmurs and I see the liquid crystal swimming in the rim of her large eyes-my own eyes perfectly beautiful on her face "She needs your protection…"  
>"I would never harm her" I say in confusion.<p>

"That is_ not_ what I _meant_" she says frowning at me oddly. "She thinks her worth is tied into how useful she is… to the Nation… it is odd. Her utter conviction with all things…"  
>She pauses and stares at me for seconds, first frowning and then smiling before reaching her hand up to touch my face-my shaved cheek.<p>

"You are very handsome" she says softly and I blush. "What I mean is… she cannot be allowed to go anywhere near politics and that is going to be what she wants"  
>"Then she won't…" I murmur.<p>

"Yes…" Ursa says but begins fiddling with the hem of her shirt before looking up at me with vulnerable scared eyes. "But… I think…"  
>"What is it?" I urge.<p>

She looks up at me and the tears escape down her cheeks in tow glittering lines and she turns her head brusquely to the shadows to her left, wiping the tears gently.

"There is something that has happened to my baby" she bubbles softly. "More than just…"  
>"What… did Azula say something…?"<p>

"No… I can tell" she mumbles looking down. "A mother… I can tell and she needs… we need to protect her. When we return, her presence will be revealed and she will _have _to be involved in the _politics _for that time. She will have to fight… she will want to fight for you because you are the one person she trusts to never harm her… you have never harmed her Zuko… and you saw what happens to her when she taps into her chi"

The memory of flames-blue and cold-licking out of her mouth when her fire bending was cut of from her hands by those green elemental shackles etched in my mind. In the dark cell, tied up and insane beyond sympathies…

"She will ever return to that" I say softly-dangerously-and my mother shudders at the authority in my voice.

"Do you understand…?" Ursa asks and I nod.

"Stability" I murmur. Something we had for a short period in our lives-something I had but was a visage for Azula by the time she was born and raised. She needed it now… we had to prevail, I had to fight and be _focused_.

"You have to let _her_ go… you have to concentrate on your nation" Ursa says clearly.

"I was never…" I begin and then gulp hard at the realisation that back in our little casket heaven it had seemed innocent enough to touch and then release. "I am with…I am with…Mai"

"I see it, Zuko" she whispers peering up at me. "When you look and hen can't look away from her…"

"You are mistaken" I mumble and I can feel my face contorting into a pained frown. "We were just… it was nothing serious…"

"It is not in your nature…" Ursa laughs. "You are all about _serious_"

"I joke sometimes" I say trying to make light of the giant lump in my throat.

"Do you now" Ursa says, reaching for my hand and leading us back. "Tell me a joke then… son"

"What do you call a mountain with hiccups?" I say slowly-remembering Uncles many unfunny jokes on our journeys and hoping they were only unfunny to me.

"What do you call a mountain with hiccups?" Ursa laughs.

"A volcano"  
>"You got that one from Iroh didn't you?"<p>

"How did you know…?" I ask smiling a little.

"He has a talent for burning up jokes till they are dry"

Xx~xx~xX

"What is the plan?" Azula asks picking up my Fire-Lily and Lotus flowers carefully.

"You know the palace secret passages better than anyone" I say softly. "We enter quietly and…"  
>"No" Azula says. "Wrong plan"<p>

"What… why?" I shout. "It is I…"  
>"Make use of your resources Zuko" she sighs. "We cannot be known as alive just yet…"<br>"Oh…" I murmur as my mind clears somewhat. "We have to… _everyone _has to know…"  
>"Exactly" she says nodding a little. "It is hard to kill someone in plain sight…"<p>

"Do you think they have found out about the bodies?" Ursa asks.

"No" Toph mutters from inside her rock-hut. She has not left it since the sun disappeared and the temperature dropped. We are huddle in the little rocky clearing, unable to form a fire from fear of giving our position away.

I know she heard the conversation with Ursa... but it was her who had said we should live in the moment and now the moment has passed. She had no right to make me feel foul… like I was abandoning her or abandoning some precious gift for something bland…

"Why do you think that…?" I whisper to Toph.

"The movement in the town…" she sighs impatiently. "When Azula and I went to the edge of the forest… things seemed calm and normal… they have not even announced that the Fire Lord has been found let alone your _death_"  
>She says the last part scathingly and I frown-I hate that it is easier for me to understand her tones and inflictions, my oblivion and ignorance to things had been a haven before…<p>

She is talking of my death to her.

"We wait for them to announce my death?" I say, drawing circles in the dust with the tip of my sandal. "That way their treachery will come to light with no doubt"  
>"I knew you had it in you" Azula grins.<p>

"So… it is done" I breathe. "It ends soon…"  
>"Finally" Ursa murmurs.<p>

"Finally I rise"

Xx~xx~xX

X

XX~x~XX 

"Are you certain…?"

"Yes…" Qie Chang murmurs sipping the tea slowly. "Garza and Fang… I saw them talking"

"You were not able to hear anything?" Oishii asks tensely. "What was their body language…?"

"They were suspicious" Qie Chang says softly staring at the dark liquid steaming in the ornate cup. "But then again they were born weasel-snakes…"

"General Iroh… he is missing" Oishii murmurs heaving and leaning heavily on the giant marble island of the kitchen. "I sent a helper to the office last night, with his meal and he was turned away by Garza. Sent him again this morning with his breakfast and same results. He is not in his bed chamber…"

"He is missing" Qie Chang rasps. "Garza sent me with a letter to the Lady Kuya… he knew she was staying with her daughter, Lady Mai…"  
>"Did you read it?" Oishii asks pushing a side plate laden with cookies to the young stressed man.<p>

"I am not ready to die as yet" Qie Chang frowns. "It was sealed…"  
>"And of the Lady Mai?"<p>

"Oh, she is ill… she is definitely ill with _something _and her mother insists on tending to her herself" Qie Chang murmurs. "She loves him… the Fire Lord…"  
>"Our Lord Zuko" Oishii whispers.<p>

"This here…" Qie Chang mutters "Is a fight _within _our nation. There are conspiracies Oishii and it has to do with the return of the battle ship they sent to find him and if you know better… you will keep our conversations to between us"  
>"I am done with just <em>talking<em>" Oishii snaps. "Not all Nobles are treacherous"  
>"Name one!" Qie Chang laughs.<p>

"The Dragon General and his Lost Daughter" Oishii says softly. "Even the Fire Lord… Lord Zuko… there is a light surrounding him, I saw it when he was here with the Lady Bei Fong"  
>"Yes…" Qie Chang breathes. "We have to do something… for too long we have let treachery run us in the guise of <em>Nobility"<em>

"Find out about the General… General Iroh" Oishii says sternly. "He did not leave the grounds… none of the guards saw _anything…"_

"It may be a dangerous game" Qie Chang murmured. "But it has to be played"

**AUTHORS NOTE: well, review your thoughts and suggestions… even this late in the story they are welcome and greatly appreciated. Thanks for the alerts and favourites-really inspiring when one has knowledge people enjoy what you are writing and _get _the style, humour and methods .**

**I know I had said the end is near but something came to me in a dream-seriously, I dream Avatar now-and things may get slightly longer and angsty. If suspense is killing you already… sorry, but although this is Zuko's story… I have this nagging obligation to the other characters to tie up their endings and drag Zuko through some lessons in love, lust and loyalty. Also there will be a character death either in the end or near future-tissues _may_ be needed…**

**Uhm… my 'N' key gets stuck and some of the words are missing 'n' so if you see any, let me kow…**

**xxTJ**


	26. Treacherous Nobles and Brave Hearts

**OF TREACHEROUS NOBLES AND BRAVE HEARTS**

_It is what we are capable of, that we fear most… not that we are inadequate_

The beautiful orange skies over the sea of the Fire Nation Capital's island, the soft textured sands of the beach and the cool waters that surrounded the lands… a beautiful sight to most. But to the people who were located at these sites, a little of to the left… easily dismissible… it was a luxurious peace they would never know or care for.

The shacks by the dock had their own residential hierarchy based on a number of things ranging from social status to gender. Although the Fire Nation prized itself on being the one Nation to adopt a more equal way of living... In the poor slums hidden to the wealthy citizens, having a uterus meant something entirely different.

It meant living alone was a risk, being a woman putting you at an even bigger risk and being fired from a prestigious position and thrown out into an already established system...

It meant Mi was at the bottom of the food chain all over again.

The sun shone sadistically on that day… blazing hot and merciless. She sat in her little square shack that only managed to fit in her tiny hay-bed and rickety table with enough room for her to pivot around two steps when cleaning or dressing. The roof material of her ridiculously modest home was made of poor insulating material that meant the heat could absorb easily into her house, if it rained… she would be soaked and if the wind blew with too much force and velocity she would need a new roof altogether.

This had been life since she had been _brave…_

"Mi!" a gruff voice called outside her jagged splintered door. "Mi, get your fat ass out of there… the Big Ship is back….!"

It was time to earn a few silver coins; since her family had been kind enough to take her in for only a few days after her _indiscretions _she had had to go out into the world to reestablish her self. She had to… she owed it to herself-she had to be true to the person she was. She couldn't be held hostage in the life of a lowly peasant in the _village!_ Ever since the new order under Fire Lord Zuko had come about, the Nation had suffered a recession. It was survive or suffer…

Surviving in a village equaled suffering in Mi's eyes. She would brave the men at the docks, she would live in the shack and by Agni she would clean the filthy ships filled with arrogant cocky soldiers like her life depended on it.

She would clean the ships because her life _did _depend on it.

Xx~xx~xX

She had always been a good girl to her family. Their upbringing and _social status_ had never stopped them from living in a home filled with_ love_, and her being _a good girl_ had never stopped her from being _ambitious_.

The job at the Palace-that had been her ambition. She was only qualified by her social ranking to _clean_… and she knew-by Agni she knew-that if she was going to be cleaning for the rest of her life... She had better do so at the _top_ of the cleaning caliber.

The day Lord Zuko-Lord Zuko the feared unpredictable Dragon-had smiled at her… they say he had singled her out in his chamber when they were cleaning his destruction, singled only her after _firing_ her… That monumental day had been the twinkling light at the end of her dreary shadowy tunnel, for a title higher than a _cleaning girl, a silly measly handmaiden-_easily ignorable… easily forgettable.

Well, Mi did not get the results she would have wanted but in essence… the Fire Lord had left an impression that night in his bed chamber when she had come to him. She might have wanted him to take her like some sort of wild crazed beast, easily understanding that he was superior and everything she had was his… she might have wanted _that _but his all too real innocent confusion had been baffling to begin with but somehow-in some incomprehensible way-left a resolutely rigid mark on her heart.

It might have been his still form rooted to the marble floor of the massive grand chamber, tall and lean… broad muscled shoulders tensed and his hair a fiery mane of ebony fire-that had led her fervor.

She giggles quietly at the memory-at her bravery-as she moves with the other skinny rejected women to the sea. She is lost in her own world as she _lives _this life. She is lost in that one memory…

That could have ended entirely differently-he could have kicked her out and announced his rumored fiancé on her. She almost gave up her hot daring quest when he had frowned at her in confusion. Almost…

But his large eyes that she had seen angered past negotiation had been filled with a new calmness, softened his features from crazed dragon to _honorable_ Fire Lord… the scar was easily ignorable when you concentrated on his one good eye-the large pure gold orb with thick framing of straight eyelashes beneath a roguish eyebrow… the rest of his face was magnificent. He was handsome… they all knew it. He might have been _enigmatic_ in character save for the _temper_, he might have been elusive in _voice_ save for the _roaring_ but in _presence…_ he had made an impression, he left the minds eye marked and convinced of Royal Magnitude and Ethereal Lust forever.

Everyone knew of her_ little_ escapade with the young Fire Lord… the young King of the Fire Nation. She hadn't told anyone, she had not even murmured of the _incident _to her sisters when they had badgered her about it during her brief stay with them. They wanted to know how far she got, if he was as wild and unruly as he appeared, if he left some sort of physical mark to brand her as his property…

Women could be so silly. She had been silly too...

Who knew it would be timid hands weaving in her hair that would remain engraved over her skin. His disarming soft touch burning her, his too hot fingers-fingers of a Fire Bender with too much power she supposed. She didn't speak of the _incident _but by Agni she thought about it.

When the Lady Kuya had come to her, stating to her that the Fire Lord had revealed her desecration of his conscious… in the middle of the laundry room, the Noble Woman hissing and spitting at her-pulling her by the hair as though she were a rag doll and demanding she say what it was she had done…

She did not speak a word save for one. She said yes.

Lady Kuya demanding to know if the Fire Lord was a virgin-she had murmured in a small voice after being slapped repeatedly in front of her co-workers who she considered sisters, she had whispered "Yes"

He had stood before her, awkward unsure and in a trance but it did not stop her haphazard plan from rolling out on its way and _springing up in beautiful grandiose glory._ Timid fingers in her hair, grasping unsure and afraid… his own moans and groans terrifying him… and when he had finally gripped her hair tightly and with actual conviction… she had heard him murmur the Blind Girls name.

The Lady Bei Fong had walked in on them and that was the moment he had lost true and complete control.

The stammering that had ensued when the door had been shut and she was busying herself with wiping her mouth. The insistent hair pulling he had been doing to his own scalp, muttering about 'Sin' and 'Losing her'… he had gone blind to her presence for all of five minutes while he succumbed to whatever confusing panic he was in at being found out by a woman who wasn't his supposed fiancé… a blind woman mind, who had no way of knowing _anything _and more importantly _seeing them._

"I don't think she will tell Lady Mai" Mi had murmured to the Fire Lord, who had then stopped pacing, his previous expression of doom smoothing over to blank awareness and eyes acknowledging her slouched presence at the base of the bed, attempting to tie the string of her robe.

"Lady who?" he had asked, his one good eye-the _perfect eye_-wide and confused.

He hurried over to her, apologizing for 'defiling her mouth', helping her with her robe with shaking hands, his eyes refusing to look at her exposure and sent her away with a paid leave and promise of two Ostrich-Horse stallions if this _remained_ between them…

Funny he would be the one to break that promise and cost her more than a paid leave and Ostrich-Horses.

Xx~xx~xX

She had seen four figures that day-that day she had spent recapping her brief moment with the Fire Lord. It had been her way of dealing with things, her little mantra to help pass the time while cleaning other people's bodily waste…

Days and days of obsessing over a man she had begun to consider a walking God, hours of remembering the contours of his face… his chest, his lower middle body and beauty situated _between his legs…_

Minutes of analyzing his gruff voice and more importantly the endless seconds his one eye-the perfect eye-had flashed over her vision when she blinked in quick succession, that single eye with depths of liquid gold in an onyx incasing… printed on her very eyelids.

The one figure out of the four shorter ones, the one soldier who prodded the smaller beings forward and had had his helmet on as though he had not _come _from war but was only just _arriving _to battle.

His face was covered, his movements slow and deliberate as he moved through the other soldiers, moving closer to where she stood-slow careful and deliberate, _ignorable_.

And as he had passed with his three other comrades, moving slow and unnoticeable but with the air of individuals with a vendetta to her… he had felt the watching presence of someone familiar and forgotten. He had turned briefly before disappearing into the Village of Shacks on the outskirts of Polluted Woodlands but that was all she had needed to stop her mopping over him; over a supposed dead God.

His eye… that one eye on the half of his face that wasn't a monster, the half that was a pure God… had met her unworthy eyes.

Seconds of obsessing had left her with no doubt that it was him, had made her the master of his physical; The Honorable Fire Lord Zuko was alive.

Xx~xx~xX

"They are going to send information out" Qie Chang murmured to Oishii, glancing behind them uneasily at the shadows they left behind as they moved swiftly through the narrow corridors leading to the female servants chambers, the little flame of Oishii's torch swaying nervously in the air.

"Yes… I knew it was a matter of time" the head cook Oishii muttered, his brow knit and lips set in a thin merciless line. "Weasel-snakes…"

"I am not sure of the nature of the information… I know I will have to sit in on a meeting, write it down and send it to Garza's speech writer"

"We have to hurry Qie Chang" Oishii sighed warily. "The girls might have seen something of value when they cleaned the ship out"

They reached the large two doors of the women's sleeping chamber and looked at each other nervously. For a moment, their plan of going against the 'Big Men' is forgotten and they smile at each other sheepishly; they were standing before the two worn wooden doors leading into a room that most men who worked in the palace considered heaven.

"Shall I be the one too knock…?" Oishii asked grinning.

"Go ahead" Qie Chang murmured. "They'll burn _you_ first… and then ask _me _all the questions after"

Xx~xx~xX

"It is for the good of the…" Oishii stressed to the large immovable woman who cut his speech short with a noisy derisive scoff.

"You want to cause trouble for my girls here" the middle-aged woman snarled. "These are good girls here…"

"It is one question ma'am" Qie Chang tried, smiling innocently. "Just one question and we will be on our way"

"You ask your question in here" the woman said eyeing the nervous young man carefully before swinging her large bulging eyes at Oishii in obvious dislike. "You upper workers like taking advantage of simple village girls trying to make an honest leaving while bringing a name to their families"  
>"I assure you ma'am…" Qie Chang smiled "That is not the case…"<p>

"It never is until someone gets pregnant" the woman sighed, walking away form them but keeping a suspicious eye on the two uncomfortable men. "Shirk Dzu… you cleaned the ships didn't you?"  
>"No, that was the Red Squad, Lady Khurza" a thin pasty girl sighed irritably, eyeing Qie Chang with interest before winking at him and shuffling deeper into the large bright room filled with beds and women.<p>

"Okay…" the woman-Lady Khurza heaved-walking back to the two squirming men "What you want is the _Red Squad_"

"Okay…" Qie Chang said nervously looking over to Oishii for any sign that he understood the woman's words.

"Red Squad?" Oishii mumbled his eyes looking around him in disbelief. All he saw was tired, irritable beings frowning and gawking at him like he was the tax collector. Where was the insistent changing of clothes, giggling and pillow fighting…?

"Red Squad" Lady Khurza said slowly as though she were talking to a simpleton. She hacked-a throaty mucous sound flinging the sound at the two men impolitely from the back of her throat and swallowed before wiping her nose aggressively. "My allergies are working up…"  
>"Those can be…" Qie Chang began.<p>

"A bother" Oishii finished, missing his wife Kunaka instantly.

"Red Squad" she sighed eyeing them impatiently. "They be the _Rejects_"

"Rejects?" Oishii reiterated and Lady Khurza scowled at him.

"Do you just want to prolong your presence in our chamber or are you dumb and deaf man!" she yelled at him.

"What was the second one…?" Oishii murmured watching as a fat woman sitting on the edge of her bed feet away from them, scratched her armpits.

"Rejects…" the woman huffed. "Cleaners separate in ranking from the Palace Squad… they wait for ships to clean and men to… well... You might find them in the shacks by the docks… under paid and angry. _Good luck_ now _get out_!"

"Gladly!" Oishii shouted behind him.

Xx~xx~xX

"You can't stay behind…" Oishii said hastily, looking behind him at the somber cooks stirring their various pots quietly. "I need you!"  
>"You don't need me…" Qie Chang muttered quickly, watching the waiter near them-watching if the man was deliberately having difficulty arranging his tray to listen to them or just badly trained.<p>

"I do…" Oishii insisted, looking back once to the crowded kitchen and then pulling a nervous Qie Chang to the corner-a corner he had seen a certain grumpy _powerful _man pull a young beautiful girl once.

"I need you… I need support on this" Oishii stressed.

"So you basically need me to hold your hand?" Qie Chang asked smiling a little at the thought of being useful to someone-at being useful to a _Nation._

"Well, in essence…"  
>"The meeting as in the afternoon around three" Qie Chang said hurriedly. "I will go to the docks with you but I think we both won't be able to stay long…"<br>"Why…?"  
>"Uh, those old farts like your biscuits and cakes to eat when they have their treacherous meetings"<br>"Damn my _cooking skills_" Oishii sighed. "Fine… we find someone… we hurry back and…"  
>"We will decide the rest when our jobs are not at stake and in <em>private<em>"

"Where will I meet you?"

"At the docks_ obviously_" Qie Chang sighed. "I have to go… Garza likes flinging things at me when I am late…"  
>"Didn't you say Lord Zuko flung things at you too?" Oishii asked smiling a little.<p>

"Well, Lord Zuko gave me a bonus and Ostrich-Horses after" Qie Chang frowned. "All Garza gives you is stale air to breath"

"You sound like a _picky prostitute_… go then, I have to make an eight course lunch for Lady Kuya before preparing for this evening activities your Lord Garza has set out…"

"Damn these Weasel-Snake Nobles…"

Xx~xx~xX

"The things you are planning are entirely _dangerous_" Mi murmured, busying herself with the little black tea pot on the feeble flame.

"You are idiots" she continued, casting them a narrowed gaze; frowning at their uncomfortable forms on the mangy stool that was threatening to break under their weight.

"You cleaned the ship a few days ago?" the thin man-still with remnants of his boyhood-asked her, wringing his hands.

"That's what we rejects do" she breathed sitting opposite them on the other side of the flame-prodding the coals irritably with her rod.

"You didn't see anything… unusual….?" The cook asked her. She remembered him and he recognize her easily. The moment they had come over to her after asking a dozen of the other girls for an audience, the moment the Head Cooks eyes had met hers-he had tried to get his friend to move over to the next one. Their plan… which was easily discernible to any being with enough senses, was in favor of a King not yet announced a traitor or worse-so involving a supposedly scorned mistress seemed disastrous.

"By unusual do you mean _Lord Zuko_?" Mi asked pouring two cups of tea and handing them over to the men.

"Well… uh, yes" the younger man stammered.

"No" she lied.

"So you saw _nothing_?" the cook asked her again.

"We all saw… the girls and I…" she whispered, lowering her head in thought-in memory. "A grand coffin with burns on the sides"

"A coffin…?"

"A coffin" she repeated gazing up at them in suspicion. "We wiped it… and men came in to rework on it or something, varnishing… paneling it, without _opening_. There were armed guards, Fire Benders around us… _watching_. It as terrifying… that as all the strangeness I can give you"

"A …. A… coffin?" the secretarial servant muttered in disbelief.

"Well, not exactly a coffin" she sighed leaning back. "something like it anyway… might have been nothing, maybe some rare red rubies they had found that were worth…"  
>"You and I both know that is not the case!" hissed the Cook. "Qie Chang… we have to return now…"<p>

"What of General Iroh?" the Young Man asked the Cook. "He is missing…."  
>"Lord Iroh is missing?" Mi asked bewildered. "I thought… wasn't he… he is the acting Fire Lord"<p>

"Not anymore" Qie Chang murmured gravely. "Garza has developed his own _acting skills_… the Dragon General has been reported as 'Abandoning the Post'… for now"

"He is still in the Palace" the Cook said desperately. "That I am sure off… no one saw him exit…"  
>"Maybe they hid him after he was murdered…"<br>"No!" Mi yelled. "He was not smuggled in the_ dead of night_…that is not how _he _would end"

"Well… we have to return…" Qie Chang said uneasily, looking around them. "We will…"  
>"Yes." Mi said. "I am your <em>acquaintance <em>in this"

Xx~xx~xX

It never really made sense to Garza. He did not voice out his little innocent question though, he didn't ask about it… not even to his wife. It nagged him with each second he had spent in the boardroom, it bothered him every time he walked in… like an itch in a difficult place on his body where his arms had no chance of ever reaching.

Why were the walls of the boardroom paneled with wood?

He had come up with many answers; maybe they had sufficient fire proof-but it stills seemed like too much of a risk. Maybe behind the reddish wood was stone but he was no engineer to understand the logics.

Wood paneling in a room where men's tempers tended to flare, in a room hosting benders and Nobles, in a room were treachery was born and raised… wood paneling in a room that could easily turn into a hell on earth if the wrong word was to be uttered.

When he was in charge-be it behind Mahazai's Daughter-he would have them stripped…

"Where have you been?" he whispered feeling the presence of the idiot boy-something was dropped, the boy's feet moving over the rugged floor in nervous confusion and breathing hoarse and labored from rushing from whatever little corner he had been trembling in all this time.

"Sir…" Qie Chang stammered.

"I am not your Sir…" Garza hissed, not sparing him a glance.

"Uh… Lord…?"

"Fire Lord" Garza said, finally turning around to face the thin over worked boy. He trembled under Garza's gaze and the impostor of a Noble-Garza-smiled in satisfaction. Power was the sweetest drug…

"Fire… Fire… Fire Lord?" Qie Chang stammered. "You want me to call you… you are the…"  
>"No, I am just playing with you" Garza grinned and then cackled loudly.<p>

Qie Chang watched in utter bemusement as the man did a jig before his eyes, singing a happy tune and jumped into the large seat at the head of the table, reserved for the Fire Lord.

"Well" Garza hissed. "Don't just stand there… prepare the bloody room! Get the paper and prepare yourself… take notes side by side with Juyen… he will instruct you on your editing"  
>"Yes… oh, right"<p>

"Life has a funny way of working out…"Garza laughed. "When you let the Blue Bloods commit their own self destruction… with a mild push in the right direction of course"

Xx~xx~xX

_Minutes later, the Big Men enter and begin murmuring in excitement… voices increasing in volume when the wine arrives and by the time the Grand Cooks food reaches them… the **important meeting **appears to have transformed into a lounge party._

_Qie Chang watches as Juyen scribbles across a grand page with a lovely Blue Cat-Peacock tipped brush, the new amendments Garza has planned. Underneath the sheet is four other pages of new closes to be passed to the public but what has his fingers twitching, his throat aching and skin pasty is what is beneath the papers, stored locked in the man's lap-desk of opulent wood._

_The letter to be printed and copied confirming the Fire Lords Death under the hand of the Blind Spy from the Earth Nation. The death of the two individuals and the meeting of the Noble families to discuss the course to be taken after such a **tragedy.**_

_He watches quietly as they toast and drink after confirming the death of a young King; hours later shouts for women are made by perverted rich men, red velvety rug spoiled beyond recognition and a beautiful singer giggling over Garza's lap._

_The casket or whatever it is housing the bodies will be revealed in private to treacherous families with only four members of various councils present to witness it-for it is a painful time. They have not moved the bodies apart-why should they? The dead don't mind…_

_The important date is announced: the revelation will happen on Palace ground the next morning. The letters will be sent out by midnight of this day though… _

_The Fire Lord is dead. It is obvious to Qie Chang… Garza was calculative and careful; he would not have the letters sent out that very night if he was not certain._

_Their only hope lay in finding the Dragon General… if he was not victim of this._

_Garza's rule would hold a new order they had never seen and would never survive._

_Xx~xx~xX_

"You made it" Oishii murmured.

"I made it" Mi sighed, wrapping her tattered shawl over her thin shoulders and looking around at the beautiful space she had once been inspired to _clean._

"The word is…" Oishii murmured, before gulping. "You were right"

"About what?"

"The coffin… Qie Chang sent one of the waiters with a coded message… he said simply that our suspicions and fears have come to light" Oishii gulped again and took his hat off.

"He is dead" he murmured looking down briefly before snapping his eyes up at Mi in confusion, frowning slightly. "Why do you not seem surprised"  
>"What…" Mi stammered. "I am… surprised… just the shock"<br>"Of course… your relationship with the Late Lord Zuko" Oishii breathed gravely. "All we have left is Iroh… if he is not… gone too" 

"Anything else?" Mi urged willing the man to not succumb to thoughts of the near future-were a tyrannical greedy man would rule their lives with sadistic lust.

"They will announce it to the Nobles in the morning" he sighed looking back at the door of his large kitchen. "Letters will be sent out tomorrow and I am sure plans for spreading the news Nation wide are under way but by the morning… people will know"  
>"And with Iroh missing…" she murmured. "They have a possible alibi to an inside…" <p>

"Such grandeur plans our Nation has" Oishii sighed walking away. "Young Mi, I wish you the best… this ended before it had begun"

"I disagree" Mi murmured covering her choppy hair, casting a shadow over her features with her rug-like-shawl and walking quickly through the dark servant's corridor. "It has begun before they could end it"

Xx~xx~xX

The day ended swiftly; the bustling life of the hidden sea side village slowing down to a sluggish movement of workers returning to their small fragile homes. Muddy path ways forming roads between the shacks filled with prints of movements, history of desperate feet running through the once hard soil and littered with various fragments of day time stories.

It was the woods that remained alive. Woods that many had been told were the haven of dangerous criminals and rebels; rapists and murderers… low life's and whores, to corrupt for the slums.

It was no place for a young girl to be taking a midnight stroll through. It was dark and the trees grew free and wild with no authority or human movement the deeper Mi travelled. Her pathetic light casting light only a few inches in front of her, her eyes large, wide and scared.

There is no light flickering in the distance after fifteen minutes of walking. There is however, shuffling sounds and low animal cries accompanied by shadows overlapping shadows as her light moves over random structures.

She had been brave once and it had cost her her job… now she was doing it a second time… and the price could be much higher.

The Blind Grand Master sees her coming twenty minutes before Mi arrives. The party of four had no light to give away their position, crouched in the darkness and suspicious of every movement-they wait the arrival of the young girl with frustrated patience.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**So… I hate doing this… I know a lot of fanfic writers sing this song and you are probably sick of the tune playing over and over… but IF YOU READ AND ENJOY, REVIEW PLEASE.** **It brings me **** smiley faces.**

**A little break from The Nobles… **


	27. The Disillusion of Logic

**THE DISILLUSION OF LOGIC**

"Hello?" she whispers through the shadows; a pathetic sound that gives her away as a lost lamb-cub.

She tugs at her shawl, a thin material, pulling it over her shoulders and securing it tighter over her head; her face is hidden by the dancing shadows in the increasingly dimming light. Her frame is thin, her stance unsure but from her hesitant pivoting in our little clearing; she knows the area held people moments earlier. Her senses-latent-alert her that she is being watched and her shuffling feet threaten to spring into a run through the slowly darkening space.

Toph steps out, three steps left from behind a tree and idles her movement to a stand still; her hair covering her face almost entirely save for her nose and chin, lips parted slightly. The girl doesn't notice the new addition to the area, still spinning on her heels and looking for something other.

"Who are you?" Toph says-a low sound that somehow cuts through the whipping noise of the branches and whistling wind clearly.

"Wh-!" the girl jumps back, stumbling over something, losing her footing and landing on her backside in a painful thump.

"Who are you?" Toph reiterates and I watch her carefully through the darkness of the thick branches in front of me, crouched vigilantly on the sturdy brunch and listening over my thudding heart.

"I… I…" the girl stammers, feeling the ground for her shawl that came lose, while trying to see through the shadows for Toph's face. If my twenty-twenty eyesight can only make out Toph's shadowed face due to the fact I had spent countless moments obsessing over it then all she can see is a spectre-a silhouette of blowing hair and ruffling lose fabric.

"Who are you?" Toph asks voice calm and stone dead-her position opposite me, the girl between Toph and me with Ursa and Azula a few feet apart. We have her circled, her fate resting entirely on her _purpose_…

"I am Mi" the girl coughs out, crawling towards Toph.

"What do you mean 'you are_ Me'_?" Azula drawls exposing her position-sauntering arrogantly out of the trees and rolling her eyes.

A simple bloody plan laid out, simple instructions and both women _disregard it _because it was delivered and ordered upon by _me_. By Agni, if they were not going to take me seriously when I was trying to ensure our survival….

"Argh" I growl, jumping out of the tree and trying to calm my self-failing like I had done countless times-and then falling to insistent releases of puffs of breaths to stop form going into another full on war against Toph and Azula.

"It was a simple plan" I hiss at Azula and she rolls her eyes at me.  
>"From a simple mind" she snorts. "This whelp is playing mind games with us, spewing garbage about 'I am me'. She obviously knows Toph is a walking lie-detector…"<p>

"No names!" I growl and move swiftly to Toph's side, eyes peering through the darkness for any other shapes that are not born from nature. "No _bloody_ names…"

It is dark now; all I can see is the silhouette of the silent kneeling girl and Azula's stubborn frame opposite Toph and me.

"Who are you?" I ask the girl and she jumps at the violent impatience of my voice. "No games…"  
>"She wasn't lying" Toph cays coolly. "She is Me"<p>

"It is I…" the girl stammers, her voice floating up from her crouched position on the ground filled with defenceless emotion. "_It is I, Lord Zuko… Mi_" 

"Uh…Mi?" I stammer, recognition of her voice fighting the lurid memory of our last meeting. "Uh… well…"  
>"I have come to assist you" she whispers voice full of veneration. "I have come to help you, <em>my <em>Lord Zuko"

"You know her?" Toph asks.

"I know… her" I mumble my heart beat filling the air.

Xx~xx~xX

"So Qie Chang sat in on the meeting…?" I ask her again and she nods her head energetically, her shawl-a torn and tattered rag really-covering only her shoulders this time, hair brown and uninteresting, framing her heart shaped moist face.

This is not about that night; this is not about _anything _but getting Garza away from the crib that carried my Nation… a silent emotion of awe fills me at the thought that there were some, there were people… ordinary people in _my_ Nation who thought _me_ worthy to be _their_ Fire Lord. Who thought it a just cause and creditable risk to _assist me…?_

"I told no one of your existence" Mi whispers. "No one knows… and from what the Cook said; your death is a certainty amongst the Big Men"  
>"Big Men…?" Ursa asks "The other… Nobles?"<p>

"Yes… and furthermore…" Mi continues shakily "The Dragon General has been labelled a traitor and party to your demise…"

"Where is Iroh" Toph growls and Mi frantically begins playing with the hem of her long shirt-dress thing.

"Iroh… Lord Iroh… has not been seen" she stammers, eyes doing a wild dance from the meagre flame we have dared to produce to my own face. I don't need to look at her properly to know this; I have been all she has managed to look at since I brought about light to our surroundings. Azula's eyes watch her closely, judging everything, analysing every word and more importantly watching my reaction…

"What do you mean 'not been seen'" I ask her, trying not to let my frustration and unreasonable anger over happenings that had nothing to with _Mi _seep through. She reminded me off a mouse-kitten trying to be a Tiger-Zebra after finding itself against an animal ten times bigger than it. She had braved a lot being here… but she was beyond her understanding of the power she was challenging.

At the forefront of everything-entirely useless and irrelevant; it unnerved me the way she _looked _at me… I had never seen a gaze so wide and innocent yet determined to be secretive and flammable in its deep brown colour-cast over my deformed face. Why did I _know_ the secret she carried in her eyes… why did we have to _share_ a secret like this…?

"How do you know Zuko" Azula asks finally-a question that had been carried in her eyes for thirty minutes now.

"Zuko is the Fire Lord" Ursa murmurs-a soft sound but in her odd tender way it cuts at Azula sharply. This was not about gossip and secret liaisons… or was it…

"I… he is Fire Lord" Mi stammers, looking quickly at Azula before resting her eyes on me again, a slow lingering look that made my face heat up.

"Lord of _your _Fire is more like it" Azula scoffs, looking at me and grinning widely-perfect teeth gleaming in the orange light, the light causing her gold eyes to flash evilly. "You are something else, Lord of Mi's Fire…"

"What…?" Toph asks and I cough brusquely.

"Iroh… about Iroh" I insist. "Where is my Uncle?"

"He is lost" she says ominously. "They think he is… gone but… I know he can't be"  
>"You are an idiot girl" Azula rasps. "We are relying on idiot infatuated girls…"<p>

"He is lost in the Palace?" Ursa asks, moving to sit beside Mi. "Is that what you mean?"

"Yes" she whispers, another hot wide eyed glance sent my way.

"I know all about 'people going missing' in the palace" Ursa says quietly, staring at the little flame. "He is either in the wine cellars or somewhere in the royal prison chambers"

"The royal chambers where bombed" Toph murmurs.

"Then wine cellars it is" Azula says. "And girl… you will be rewarded…"  
>"Helping the Fire Lord is reward enough" the girl says in blind honour of <em>me<em>, fluttering eyelashes in my direction-her daringness to do such an action, even if it were in this little clearing with three people… more especially with these three people-making me nervous and alert simultaneously.

"Idiot" Azula sighs. "Take the riches…"

Xx~xx~xX

"How do you know her?" Toph asks.

It is the first direct conversation I have had with her and I wish desperately it was about something else. I don't know how I am managing with it all, the internal war raging inside me amidst the one in reality. I wish desperately I were a child-even though I had been exposed to war and battle as a child-somehow dealing with it with a mind simple and pure was easier…

All this wanting, longing, hating, anger and remorse… any moment now, my own chi would bring about my demise. The Zuko I had been moments before being locked up in the wooden box was lost; somehow I had ignited a flame unknowingly inside me and it growled and roared to be fuelled and the emotion and addiction encompassed my thoughts-the drug Toph had become to me-and now with Mi here… it bloomed… it wasn't controllable-she would be the temporary fix. This new emotion, this tainted feeling weaving itself through to the ambition to be Fire Lord, Power and _being a man…_

"You know how I know her" I murmur, leaning against the tree, shuffling my feet through the dirt from where I sit. "You saw her in my chamber…" 

She sits behind me, behind the tree I am leaning on in silence. The wind rustles the leaves, an eerie but now familiar sound playing through the air, shadowy clouds moving quickly above us in the navy sky. They seem like concrete tanks barging over the stars in search for power and glory…

"Do you…" Toph begins and then stops, huffing in frustration.

I remain quiet. I don't want to talk about this. I wish I could wheedle the emotion in my heart out, hand it to her and pray that after analysing it-she will _know_. Her world was black and white-good and bad. Honour and dishonour.

Ever since I had proclaimed the half of me that was Ursa-accepted that I was good too-my world had turned into _all sorts of grey_.

Accepting I was good did not necessarily mean the bad would go away and in this new form I was in, this man I had become-a whole new world of temptation and _wants_, different honours and _glories _had opened up to me. Opened up to the good Zuko and the bad Zuko in entirely new flavours and her sitting behind this large tree, sitting still and quiet and exuding a vulnerability that I wanted to _take… _that appealed to both sides of me in ways that a hypnotized sultry eye from Mi could _never _measure up…

"Toph… I am a man" I finished-the stupidest reason any man can give for any action and yet the only explanation I could come up with.

"Okay" she whispered and followed the answer with another round of silence.

"She… came to me and I didn't decline" I stated hoarsely.

"Like I did to you" Toph says low and soft. A dangerous sound that induces shivers in me and causes my eyes to blink rapidly and heart to thud painfully.

"That was different…" I whispered.

"You were attracted to me and I was attracted to you right?" she asks.

"Yes"

"Were you attracted to_ her_?" she murmurs

"No"

"Don't lie to me Zuko" she sighs, and I hear a thump on the tree, it shakes slightly-after shock from her punch on its bark, from her place on the ground behind me. I imagine she is seated in a similar fashion as I am, the simple thought that we are leaning against the same tree causing me to feel a familiar warm twirling welling in my stomach and heating up my skin. How cheap my hormones had become suddenly, as though the taste of what it felt like to be gratified physically when emotionally drained had sent my body into a frenzied hunger… every second was anger… anger at being in this _famine_.

"She reminds me of you" I say dryly, scowling into the darkness.

"_I am nothing like her!"_

"Stop acting like a spoilt brat" I hiss-no justification to the spike of emotion. "Sulking when it is you who announces that we were to leave _it all in that casket_…"  
>"I am not…" she shouts, and her movements ruffle the air-seconds later she is kneeled in front of me. "I am trying to <em>save us <em>you idiot!" 

"I am your friend, Zuko" she whispers calming down, a cool hand placed carefully over my own hand. "We must never forget that… that was… a fling right?"

"Right" I cough. "A fling"

"No more talk of this?" she asks.

"No more" I agree automatically, not comprehending the simple fact-a side of me wanting to refute the reality of the situation.

"Just…" I murmur, trying to ignore how automatic we are to each other, trying to be polite and civil-as though we have turned into strangers.

"Yes?" she asks.

"You… you will invite me to your… ball?" I ask her-ducking the exposure to my soul quickly.

"Why wouldn't I?" she asks. "You are my best friend"

Xx~xx~xX

**The Fire Lord has been found.**

_The Fire Lord was found finally, after resolute searches were carried out across the nation to find him and save him from the clutches of the Earth Nation Spy. An altercation had ensued and the Earth Nation Spy was witnessed as having suffocated our drugged King before she herself was fatally wounded by enraged loyalist._

_All was done to save Fire Lord Zuko… but he succumbed to his injuries on the journey back on sea._

_The unveiling of his body will be conducted around those who knew him best; his in laws The House of Mahazai._

_All Fire Nation citizen's are required to wear the appropriate mourning garments of white and lay out blood roses. _

_This is a time of mourning for a Noble and Honourable young man who delivered our Nation._

_By Order, the Board of Nobles._

Xx~xx~xX

The room is laid out in white and she doesn't know why.

The walls are white pearl and reflective, a rich white rug spans the floor, leaving a few metres bare with umber polished wood around its perimeter and a pedestal is located in its middle. On the pedestal sits a giant 'V' shaped vase with intricate gold designs-swirling forms and little flowers surrounding a print of a grand gold dragon. The wooden chairs and stools are inlayed with white, the very wood made from the tree of a white oak and the curved legs tipped in gold paint.

She open's the door a little wider-it is the secret door she had used once with Azula when they were younger-and sees a giant gold framed picture, easily taller than her own height and positioned high over the floor above the vase. She stares at the vase in a trance, something about it seems wrong… she doesn't understand why but this room is _wrong._

Her breathing hitches and comes out deep and energetic-the cotton black gown she has on, a gown she loves extensively, tightening around her stomach. She had always been thin and this knew change irritates her. The soft bulge barely noticeable but prominent to her alone. Her and her mother… her mother's obsession with the child…

The vase is beautiful, ostentatious and yet somehow simple because of its pure white colour. She likes the gold swirls, she loves the strong dragon printed on it with its grand wings but as her eyes travel up the vase-the large vase almost taller than her lean form-she gasps.

The only colour in the white room comes from the unruly expanse of Blood Roses. Their fresh petals are splayed on the floor around the vase like blood droplets and their colour shocks her mind into comprehension.

Mai knows why the room is laid out in white and understanding dawns on her-why she was not permitted to leave her room or more accurately, Azula's old room.

The main door opens and she quickly closes the wooden-panelled-secret-door, carefully crouching by the thin wood and pressing her ear to it.

"Hmm" Garza murmurs looking around as though he would be buying something-a finger on his chin and beady dark eyes darting over each object. "It is… almost perfect"  
>"What do you mean 'Almost'" the thin old man grumbles, playing with a string of black beads in his bony hands furiously. "It is <em>perfection<em>…"

"When we gather in here with the mother of the future Fire Lord" Garza says-voice airy and in reverence "And the boy's body is revealed… then it would be _perfection_"

She wants to gasp, she wants to cry and she wants to scream but her jaw locks in place. Her form is motionless instead; crouched in the dark narrow secret passage by the hidden door she seems emotionless. Her heart is the only thing that gives her away but it is hidden in her chest. Her heart is always hidden, and now it breaks and no one can see…

"Iroh is dead… you are certain?" the man moves into view-her little peep hole finally allowing her to see his face. It is Ming… she wants to move, to return to her room and end it but her feet are numb. Her mind blank of nothing but the two men twirling around the room.

"Yes, how many times do I have to say it!" Garza hisses, bending and disappearing from Mai's sight momentarily before rising again with a red petal in his thick fingers.

"The old goat-chicken is rotting in the wine cellar" Garza whispers crushing the velvet. "They are all rotting…"

Xx~xx~xX

Emotions and _feelings_.

There were few emotions she tolerated in her body and sadness and despair were not on that short list. It was not to say she thought she was too strong or important to tolerate such meagre feelings in her heart, no this was not the case.

She couldn't handle them. She didn't know how to _feel _these _emotions._

She had been shielded as a child and she knew that as she encroached on the last stages of being a girl she had to drop that reason for anything and everything she didn't understand in the world. It was true; she was shielded as a child, she was shielded in her intelligence and more so in her emotions-but it was about time she dealt with these _feelings._

She didn't know what it meant to _lose someone._ She didn't know about sadness, despair and hopelessness. Everything was black and white and it scared her when suddenly there appeared this _third element_ were _certain things _became possible. It was possible she had read everything wrong… everything to do with Zuko and herself and consequently dug her own emotional grave.

She moves quickly with the girl-she doesn't want to think of her as a pathetic _bitch_ or feel this other emotion outside of her sadness and despair. This jealousy… she doesn't want to feel or think of the girl this way because it will give the girl power; _more power_…

Her feet are covered at the top with the top half of a pair of shoes the girl-this _Mi _character-brought forth to her as part of her disguise. Sure, her bottom half is free but the movement of the material around her feet bothers her like a spider-fly buzzing around her vision. The corridor they are using has some sort of stone floor-overly polished and cool on her soles. The walls of the Palace are filled with hidden passages for servants who are not meant to be seen moving and cleaning as well as Royals with _agenda's._

The girl is quiet and nervous by her side, leading the way by a few feet and constantly glancing at her uneasily. If it were anyone else she would have laughed and told them to stop checking if she had regained her sight… if it were _anyone else…_ but this new emotion the addition of this _girl _has brought about amongst the despair and loss is exhausting.

She hates the girl. No, hate is too strong… it is more accurate to say an unjust concentrated dislike. Of course if Toph wanted she could analyse the 'unjustness' of the situation but she knows what that will lead to.

The girl-_this Mi character-_has Zuko's attention whether he will admit it to himself, to her or to Azula's constant insinuations and innuendo's. She was never jealous of Mai because Mai had been there before she had realised that Zuko held her attention in more ways than any other male being.

Mai was a stick-a doll by Zuko's side, playing a role she had been born into. It was as simple as that and that was probably why she had no qualms about being selfish about _feeling _and seeing his form in the wooden box. She didn't care about Mai's feelings because she had never witnessed Mai have _any_ feelings to begin with.

But this _Mi character…_

Zuko had been comfortable enough to… drop his pants for her. She knew him, she knew Zuko and what she knew was that Zuko was obsessive about _cleanliness in the eyes of his God._ If he had subconsciously allowed the girl to… do what she did to him when he had needed constant pushing and manipulating to just _touch her_ then there was _something about the girl. _Either there was something about the girl or she didn't know him as well as she had thought; she had been _blind to his character_ and now… this girl had been the one to give her sight.

_This Mi… _this girl who didn't spare Toph any notice when it came to Zuko. As though Toph was irrelevant to any grand dreams she had about the Fire Lord.

He said she reminded him of her, or for all she knew it could have been vice versa. Toph reminded Zuko of Mi… Toph had been the _substitute in all of this…_

"Ouch!" Mi yelled, tripping on a random stone protrusion on the cobbled floor but managing not to fall flat on her face unfortunately. She stumbled forward instead, an awkward sort of dance-run and stopped the free fall by holding on to the wall. Her breathing became fast and behind her Toph stood still.

"Watch your step" Toph whispered. "We don't want you to fall flat on your pretty face after walking with such _determination_"

"Uh…" Mi mumbled uneasily, glancing at the still girl.

When Mi had first met Toph-officially met her-she had thought her a sort of whimsical fairy like girl to begin with. She had been sitting still on a rock, her face hidden save for a pair of cherry-peach coloured lips that looked matted and soft in the middle of a creamy white expanse of skin. She had watched mesmerized as the girl-The Grand Master Earth Bender-had sat on the rock, unsmiling and melancholy with her beige large shirt billowing around her, thick jet black hair dancing seductively around her face and her hands hidden in her lap. She had been a picture, some inspired artists muse and the one thing the Fire Lord was trying desperately not to look at until…

She had gotten up and stomped to the log were the long-thought-dead Queen Mother sat on, fisted her fingers into a bowl of cranberry-nuts and stuffed them in her face; smearing red and brown nut bits all over her previous clean milk-like skin and chewing with a small mouth that seemed unable to close.

Then, that very little movement the Noble Earth Nation had made to simply _eat-_had alerted her that she was _deceptive _in her strength. It was not unmannered behaviour she had seen… it was the behaviour of a warrior. In stillness she reverted to her Lady status but in motion she was ruthless and decisive with little thought to her surroundings concern.

So as she leaned on the wall, looking at Toph ("You may address me as Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong" the beautiful Earth Nation girl had said "_all the time_") she knew she had done something extensively wrong-incredibly offensive and this was worse than any Lady Kuya Noble slapping her in a laundry room. This was worse because Toph-Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong-was not being entirely _ruthless _and _decisive_. She was… conducting her torture slowly and with no actual motive.

"Do you… is this about the time you walked in on Lord Zuko and I…" Mi began and stopped in her tracks when Toph pushed her hair violently away from her face, disrupting the bun Ursa had struggled to capture the rest of her thick hair in and scowled so violently her brow creased and nose crinkled, lips pulled into an animalistic snarl.

_Swallow me now, Earth _ Mi prayed _Agni… I am about to meet you…_

"You…" Toph breathed seemingly unable to push air up to her voice box to form structured sentences. She stopped trying to talk but kept her hair away from her face, revealing her eyes for the soul purpose of allowing Mi to _see _this particular emotion. It felt very _fire bender like _she imagined. Like bubbling heat in her heart, glowing through her veins and storming her mind and thoughts into chaos… as though she could challenge the seas and mountains if she carried this _feeling_ into battle.

"I am sorry" Mi squeaked. "I am so sorry… I know you are a friend of Lady Mai and I dishonoured her and I am unworthy of the Lord Z-"

"_Don't say his name to me" _Toph hissed, rushing over to a cowering Mi and pushing her up the wall aggressively-she realised she was taller than the smaller infinitesimally weaker girl and held her in place.

"Don't speak of him to me" Toph murmured-a slow release of a shaky breath carrying the words, her eyes large moist and flashing in the shadowed light. "You know nothing of Mai or me… or anything outside of your little world… you have him or whatever the hell is going on and I don't need to _hear _your heart beating for _him_!"

"You want…"  
>"Shut up" Toph growled a beautiful sneer on her face sending shivers and understanding in Mi's body. "The cellar is five minutes from here… so quit whatever thoughts are playing out in your head about your <em>Lord Zuko <em>that are making your heart act like it's on drugs and _don't irritate me_ because I wont let you _make me _some sort of _groupie girl_ or worse… _murderer!"_

"Yes Lord Lady Bei Fong!" Mi said quickly-shouted involuntarily-and Toph let her go, backing away slowly and wiping her brow free of sweat and releasing her hair into a messed up version of its previous Hand-Maiden glory.

"You said my name wrong Mi" she whispered combing her large fringe-curtain with her fingers.

"Your name… uh is… Lady… Toph, uhm… Grand Master…" Mi stammered gulping the little spit left in her mouth down her dry parched throat.

"Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong" she managed finally and added a little curtsey-an appreciation that the only bruises she had where on her elbows after being rubbed against the wall.

"I _feel _better" Toph murmured walking ahead of Mi, a little skip in her step. "Don't you?"

Xx~xx~xX

The sun was out, no hotter than any other normal day but the slow droning movements of the citizens gave the city an airy feel. Citizens clad in white, white oleander-prunes covering the front of the gate and a new uniform of white and gold set out for the guards that protected the palace… a day of sadness, a day of mourning… a day the King of Fire was announced death to a well kept Nation and a new lethargic terror had begun to wheedle into the homes and work-places on the future of the Fire Nation. Never had a monarchy fallen so absolutely…

"I like dressing like a man" Azula giggled looking over her guard uniform "This actually fits better than the last"

"Tie your hair up" Zuko instructed gruffly, handing her the helmet.

"Where is mother?" Azula asked.

"It would be too much for her to be with us when we do this" Zuko said tensely, fixing his sisters helmet carefully. "You look like a young boy"

"That means the disguise is a success" she grinned at him and he smiled back at her freely and with no thought of the action.

"She is in the kitchens… in disguise like you" he said softly-trying to push away the nauseating feeling in his stomach that came after worrying over the many beings under his care. "Oishii guaranteed she would not be detected"

"I don't trust peasants…" Azula muttered, picking the sword and storing it in its harness. "Nobles even less…"

"These are good people" Zuko murmured moving stiffly out of the trees that had been their home for days now, and squinting at the light the open space gave them.

"There are no good people in the world" Azula sighed. "Only bad people with a conscious"

"Would you say I fall under that?" he asked his sister, keeping his head low as they moved to the guard-entrance at the side of the giant palace wall. Talking gave them a casual look, walking slow and carefree erased any suspicion…

"Unequivocally" Azula said seriously saluting the on-call guard and moving them through the throng of guards carefully. She led the way surely, her hand hot over Zuko's own larger one and tugging him along.

"Why?" he asked.

"Think of Ursa as your conscious and Ozai is your evil" she said thoughtfully. "A deadly combination… you are full of good intentions but in the end you are a _Ozai"_

"I am nothing like Ozai" Zuko hissed.

"It's a metaphor of sorts, _you idiot_" Azula laughed. "So _touchy_ about looking like Dad…"

"Can I…"Zuko began and then took in a hard breath-warring with himself at the prudence of such a conversation with Azula. "Can I ask you something"  
>"I really don't think I am up for romantic advise, all this split personality stuff is hard enough" Azula groaned, jerking his hand roughly and yanking him left-a diverging path from the one the guards were taking.<p>

"It's well… I thought maybe an outside look"  
>"This is more instruction that anything" Azula cut him swiftly, pausing in front of a stable with ostrich-horses and wheeling round to face him. "I don't think the way you do, I don't sit around trying to analyse emotions and bend them to a twisted reality… it's all logic with me…"<br>"Then give me your logic"

"You are going to marry Mai…" she watched him closely as she laid down his future for him-the only future available in its logic if he was going to be a successful Fire Lord to the Fire Nation. "You will marry Mai, you will take the blob of plainness that is _Mi _as a mistress and if you so require to keep Toph in your life; you will suffer through your tense longing for her and accept the strained friendship left after you tumbled with her in a bloody coffin"

"Our friendship is not strained" Zuko mumbled looking around for a secondary force to back him up but was only met with grunts and whining from the Ostrich-Horses.

"You were looking for an option that could involve Toph being there… being yours…"  
>"I know there is no such option!"<p>

"Oh please… you had to make sure" Azula scoffed "But here is another piece of logic for you; Toph Bei Fong is an only child-she does not share or accept being second best…."

"I was never…"

"No you weren't going to have her as a mistress because Toph hadn't laid that option down for you" Azula laughed. "You are not in control on this one… she is… and if she called on you to be her booty call, guess what?"  
>"What?"<br>"You would be _her_ booty call Zuko…" Azula laughed slightly sadistically, slapping her thigh and wiping her eyes. "This is why I do not fall in love"

"You have to get over your hate for all things male before you do that" Zuko grumbled opening the gate of the stallion ostrich-horses stall carefully. "Is this were the entrance is…?"  
>"Yes" Azula murmured. "All things male…"<p>

"Come on…!" Zuko called pushing the hidden stone door behind the bewildered stallion, bending a warm orange flame and taking a step into the dark moist passage.

"Will I be the maid of honour…?" Azula asked walking slowly toward him "Will they let me be the maid of honour even though I have no honour…?"  
>"Zula… come" Zuko said tensely taking her hand. "You have Ursa as your other half too"<p>

Xx~xx~Xx

"Stand back…" Toph growled and Mi scuttled to the far corner of the dark foyer-like space. The path had led to a dead end, an expanse of stone wall greeted them and was now about to wave them goodbye.

"This is not it" she whispered. "There is no one here"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"Sorry" Mi mumbled sheepishly.

Toph shifted her feet, sliding them over the now rough ground and squatted low and tense, her hands pulling to her side in fisted weapons and breath held carefully in. In one abrupt motion, she pushed her hands forward-punched through the air-never leaving her squatted position. The wall groaned for a brief second and with another motion, Toph pulled her fisted tensed hands back in-tucked them to her sides- and the wall collapsed outwards.

"Do you see that?" she asked Mi and Mi nodded before blurting out a string of grunts that translated to yes. "That there… is what you call a cover up and behind that wooden door is a _heart beat_ I know all too well"

"He is alive?" Mi whispered.

"I never believed he was dead" Toph growled. "Not Iroh and _never _like this"

Xx~xx~xX

"Toph" he whispered in disbelief, rubbing his eyes weakly, his mouth agape "Is that you, beautiful Lady Toph of the Bei Fong house?"  
>"Yes Iroh" she murmured smiling a little. "It is I-the one and only-and I have come to rescue you"<p>

Mi watched silently as the old man shuffled forward, feet refusing to pick up of the ground and spreading puffs of dust in the air. He stumbled a little before pausing in front of Toph, a little absent smile playing at his lips.

The Blind Earth Bender wouldn't be able to see the weakness he exuded; she wouldn't be able to see the tattered rag of what was once a rich garment hanging precariously on his much thinner shoulders, or the rough beard he was sporting on his etched face nor could she see the sunken eyes behind bushy grey eyebrows with two lightly glowing amber eyes. There was no way, however, she didn't smell him…

"Mi?" Iroh asked, stretching a hand out to the girl. "This is real?"

"All of it" Toph murmured speedily tugging Iroh's hand. "We have to leave… someone is coming!"

"I don't hear anything" Mi murmured peering into the shadows.

"You really need to learn to _shut up_" Toph hissed surprising Iroh. "You spew a lot of idiocy…. We have to go, Iroh…. Move"

They scuffled away from the rubble, never looking back and Toph searched urgently for any other ways-any more hidden passages they could escape to. It was important to Zuko's surprising master plan to remain unfound and allusive. A confrontation-no matter how badly she wanted to fight-was potentially destructive to the plan.

But it was just one person moving silently towards them, she thought. It would be a bigger risk to start breaking walls and forming new corridors in a labyrinth that constituted of stone, earth and _wood._ Like a map with random blank spaces… this one person would have to be the liability… she couldn't risk appearing in a place with wooden flooring and _people._

"Is it many?" Iroh asked, hobbling behind Toph's charging force beside Mi.

"It is one light person…" Toph huffed

"Can we take them?" Mi asked and Toph swallowed a hard breath that had been carrying a string of profanities solely for Mi.

"She can take on an army" Iroh murmured seriously. "Don't worry young Mi, we are in the hands of a Grand Master…"

Up ahead of them, an orange light crept forward and they stopped. It grew over the walls, over the stone floor patiently-sending mild terror in them. Mai appeared, hooded and pale and holding the torch in trembling long fingers.

"Mai?" Toph murmured and the torch dropped to the ground, extinguishing all light.

"I can't see…" Mi stammered shuffling and stumbling in her little perimeter.

"If you could see then you would…" Toph began before pushing Mi away from her. "Stay still…_please_"

"Toph" Mai breathed. "Is that… are you an apparition?"

"It's me Mai" Toph whispered.

"Where… you are supposed to be dead… with Zuko" Mai stated.

"Now why is that?" Toph asked feeling Mai's every thudding heart beat, wondering how far Mai would go for her family and riches…

"I heard… when I was spying…"Mai said softly recalling Garza's sure voice.

"You are spying in your own Palace now?" Iroh asked taking a step forward and reaching in the darkness for Toph's hand.

"Yes… against my own parents" Mai said in her monotonous voice. "Could you hand me the torch Toph… this darkness is consuming"

Xx~xx~xX

"Who is the peasant?" Mai asked eyeing Mi with mild interest.

She had never laid eyes on the woman who had decided to take her marital duties for her husband in her own hands. She didn't think anything of Mi's uneasiness and constant fidgeting or her inability to look at her face let alone her eyes.

"She is a loyal friend of Iroh and Zuko's" Toph said coolly "Now why are you taking strolls in hidden corridors…?"  
>"I was on my way to find Iroh… praying he was alive" Mai said and Toph frowned.<p>

"It is the truth" Mai murmured watching the odd twisting of Toph's lips beneath he shaggy curtain of her hair.

"I didn't say you were lying…"Toph said still frowning "No doubt you are telling the truth… but there is something off about your _heart beat _-it echoes_"_

"That is a personal matter" Mai sighed resting her hand on the wall and feeling the stormy emotions she held in her heart-he was alive and she was in a _predicament _with this child. "Are you going to take me to Zuko? Where is he…?"

"He is safe" Toph said tensely. "You are not to mention him to your mother or any other of your _fire people_"

"Of course" Mai said eyes flashing at the implications dripping in Toph's every word. "I am his fiancé… his one true love…"

"No one cares Mai" Toph snapped and Mai stood at her full height glaring at the indifferent Earth Bender. "Not me and certainly not Mi…"  
>"Did you see what she just did there" Iroh laughed, nudging Mi in the ribs-grateful for the comic relief Toph had inevitably delivered in her tense moment with Mai "She is most talented at word plays!"<br>Mi remained quiet and nervous smiling half heartedly at the return of colour in Iroh's cheeks.

"You will go about your business as though you had not seen us" Toph instructed "We have received information from within the cabinet-the royal secretary-that they plan on showing you something in the afternoon… try and show some form of surprise _please_"

"Whatever… were is my fiancé?" Mai grumbled. "Were is Zuko…."  
>"Zuko will appear when the time is right…" Toph sighed. "We will <em>all appear <em>when the time is right… and if you would be so kind as to inform Aang on the happenings in your _corrupt _nation?"  
>"What happenings…?" Mai asked.<p>

"That the Fire Lord had just been a victim of an attempted assassination by his own cabinet" Toph sneered. "You have to drop this ignorant oblivion… your family is a part of your _fiancé's presumed death_"

Xx~xx~xX

"You may be overcome my intense emotions" Garza murmurs to her "You may cry as though the water in your body will dry out… you may scream till he air leaves your lungs and you may even _laugh…_ but what's important dear Mai… what is important is you let yourself _feel… _and you let those feelings out"  
>"He is stuck with the Earth Bender?" she asks calmly-fighting the urge to roll her eyes or slap the old man across the face. Fighting the urge to scream in joy…<p>

"Yes" Yu Lee says shaking his head sombrely. "Inquest purposes… we need you to identify him… the palor has been set up to allow others to confirm it is him… we were under strict instruction not to open…"  
>"From who?" she cuts him coolly.<p>

"That doesn't matter" Garza says softly, frowning at her lack of emotion her cool appraisal of their huddled forms and more importantly the odd glint in Mai's eyes.

"You are right" Mai sighs. "Nothing matters anymore…"

"Except your unborn baby" Garza murmurs smiling at a silent Mahazai. "The hope of our nation"

"A bastard fatherless child?" Mai asks scowling at a portrait of Ozai-that had been removed when Zuko had taken charge of this office but had now magically reappeared.

"Mai!" Mahazai gasped. "Do not speak of Zuko's child like that!"

"Your child will save your family" Garza says sharply. "It will ensure their apex survival in these coming times… do you understand me?"

"Mai answer the man" Mahazai hissed frowning at her pallid stance, hands crossed over her chest tightly and eyes setting fire to the painting of Ozai.

"That painting as removed…"she whispers. "Why has it suddenly reappeared?"

"Answer Lord Garza Mai" Mahazai insisted, smiling at Garza nervously. "Stop bothering with the picture…"

"You have a higher ranking than this man father" she stated blandly. "Why do you behave as though he is anything more…"

"I don't know were she got this _cheek _from" Mahazai giggled uneasily "Must be the pregnancy"

"Must be" Garza murmured eyeing Mai's indifferent face with narrowed eyes. "It can only be the pregnancy and more especially the loss of the love of your life. His sudden death in his limited youth…"

"You have me figured out Lord Garza"

Xx~xx~xX

_It is a beautiful room by all accounts; white, gold and splendour. They went all out for him, he thinks. Coating their dislike for him in this ostentatious generosity for his funeral-how entirely redeemable their characters must be in the eyes of Agni. _

_The table is laid out-rich almost black wood, polished and glossy in front of the giant white vase with the image of a swirling golden dragon surrounded by elegant flowers. A sight-a true sight-and a funeral he would not have minded having… in the future._

_Azula is lost in her role-she loves these games-standing still and straight beside him on the other side of the door frame. Their guarding his funeral, watching the grieving genteel waltz in with white robes and black hearts and waiting for the physical proof-the body of their lost king-to arrive…_

_Mai sits calm and collected and he has no way of knowing she is on to their grand plan. He has no way of knowing if she is in shock or indifferent… he has no physical way of knowing but he feels the change in air around her. It isn't like that of the others who are overacting their role. Mai is barely trying to conceal the fact that she is expecting someone important to walk in through the door Zuko is guarding._

_The guards at the other side of the door open it, and in comes a bland Noble and Mai's eyes dart up; never noticing the odd duo of too tall guard and too whimsical boy standing still and awkward on each side of the entrance._

_The room is full now. They will sit for an hour while the bodies are separated-a new development that almost went unnoticed if it wasn't for Zuko's ever loyal assistant Qie Chan. Any moment now, Garza will arrive with Yu Lee-baffled and terrified at the two dead bodies in the coffin belonging to unknown peasants. They might not even return to this very room to inform the guests of their well prepared party-the mourners of Zuko's funeral. They might run off-escape swiftly and quietly leaving all detail up to others to reveal._

_They might just do that…_

_If they can get past a certain Dragon General and Blind Bandit._

_It isn't easy, Zuko thinks. He knew it was never going to be easy…_

_He had to delude himself into believing he could do it so he could **do it.**_

_Toph and I had a fling-he chants. Mai is sitting lovely and glowing because we are meant for each other-he chants. I am not a lowly dog attracted to knock-offs of Toph-he chants._

_Somewhere else, Toph Bei Fong chants a similar tune with more catching lyrics. _

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**This took a while to do and its lengthy. Possible spoilers for future so… don't read if you like surprises. In which case. Skip down and _REVIEW_**

**The characters have gone through another little change at the realisation that the little world they were living in is about to expire and I had to delve into that. **

**Toph: I have issues with her character when it comes to vulnerability. Would Toph get jealous and why?-I answered that in the chapter but…**

**Any pointers, questions on that welcome.**

**Zuko: there is Mai, he has his mom and sister to look after and they need stability and after all-Toph said in not so many words 'it wasn't that important'. He is a guy, reading between lines and taking verbal hints is not a strong point(even physical hints are an issue with Zuko). He will most likely get derailed by this little addiction Toph got him into instead …**

**Mai: Whew. Its not about honour, it's about Zuko with her-but she knows Zuko is about honour…**

**So, what we have to look forward to for the near and far future is (all hypothetical)-:**

**Zuko's comeback, Mai gets her man back-will her love for him survive his new found addiction, Zuko learns to Earth Bend because getting over Toph Bei Fong is like moving mountains, Mi's infatuated ex-handmaiden/Toph's punching bag self irritates all the right people, some promotions and new _deserving _Nobles, Azula gets a back story on a major catalyst to her insanity and possible regression into her old ways, Ursa and Iroh have tea and catch up (Ursa will reveal her back story) and all in time for a certain raw beauties coming of age ball!**

**Would love to get this completed all the way to the Zuko and Toph part, but we have to be realistic with the world they are living in **

**Reviews appreciated and welcomed fully; especially on any character flaws picked up, untied ends that bother you and grammar.**

**To the silent reader, thank you for sticking with this. To the vocal reader-your awesomeness is legendary **

**And to the ones who take time to give a fleshed out feedback… you make me- x a million, and are the inspiration to get this completed.**

**Next chapter titled: The Blood Rose**

**Till next time**

**Xx tj**


	28. Death of a Blood Rose

**THE DEATH OF THE BLOOD ROSE**

"What?"

"No" Garza gasps, backing away from the box. He moves another step back, looking from the burnt now decrepit box to the infinitesimally more beautiful coffin the supposed-to-be-dead Fire Lord as to be moved to for viewing.

Yu Lee remains still, eyes cast wide over the two distinctly male corpses-staring as though any moment, the visage would blur and refocus; revealing what he expected, the assassination he had been promised.

The bodies are withered, dry and wear an expression of innocent disbelief-a mocking imitation of the expression Garza is wielding as he stares at the coffin he had personally designed for Fire Lord Zuko to finally be buried in. The ostentatious work of grim art twirling and billowing over the white oleander-oak wood matched the ceramic reflective art of the vase holding the Death Flowers in the reception beautifully-the vase he found in Iroh's now-to-be-tomb.

Garza's disbelief is exponential in comparison to the other five figures in the room; the shocked Yu Lee, two servants and the two unknown victims of a previously well thought plot.

_They _underestimated the scarred brat…

"I have to leave" Garza said softly, his voice even and calm, a stark contrast to Yu Lee's frantic sweating and bulging eyes.

"What?" Yu Lee rasps, his eyes painfully snapping away from the two dead bodies in wide terror.

It was Yu Lee's terror that Garza understood, Garza's deductive mind grasping onto a fleeting prediction-a prophesized drama that he would not allow to float into the air and cost him his life. Something was happening, something was coming and the velocity in which it was moving on this unknown force would destroy him irreparably.

"Yu Lee" he said, his voice textured and strong-a voice deceptive in his flimsy vermin character.

"Yu Lee" Garza repeated calmly "Remain here while I go to Fang; there is a grave injustice performed on the _definitely _dead Fire Lord's coffin… they must have somehow made a mistake with another…"  
>Yu Lee nodded once, twice and then breathed a long sigh of relief; collapsing in the chair and wiping his brow. He had never been good at crisis control, thank Agni for Garza…<p>

And it was with that that Lord Garza disappeared from the eyes of the Fire Nation and Yu Lee was found by Iroh-the Dragon General and the Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong; calmly waiting in the rustic wingback chair for Garza's return in front of two coffins-one empty and the other full to the brim with conniving evidence of treachery.

Xx~xx~xX

"Zuko!"

She ran to him and he stood bewildered in the middle of his funeral. He watched as her black hair flayed in the air, her black robe ruffling with her movement and her face held a joy that fought with her natural indifferent expression. She flung her arms around him and locked them painfully around his neck. He felt hot tears on the bare skin there, he felt her sobs in his arms and he felt the tightening in his chest at having wondered about Mai for so long.

"Mai" he exhaled and settled into her.

"I love you so much Zuko" she whispered into his stolen guard uniform.

"I love you too Mai" he breathed into her hair and the lump was released from his throat. The words he murmured were true... he was released from wondering... he loved her and it was true. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to memorise her scent, tried to banish the smell of lotus and fire lily flower's burning perfume... the smell of spice and sweetness... peaches... the smell of Toph. This was his reality, he had awoken from the dream... but when he opened his eyes he met a pair of opaque ones standing in the distance of the chaos, watching nothing and everything and partially hidden behind a curtain of black hair. Before he could blink, she vanished.

"I love _you_" he whispered gulping hard.

"Zuko?" Mai murmured, releasing him and staring at him with narrow slanted red tinged eyes.

"Yes Mai?" he asked her.

"Will you marry me?" she asked him.

"I said I would" he murmured and she smiled slightly, tucking her hair behind an ear self consciously.

"It will have to be soon" Kuya murmured, walking over to them through the throng of frenzied people, calm and collected and with her husband by her elbow as normal. "We are with child"

"We?" asked Zuko looking at Mahazai with wide shocked eyes. "Uhm... Congratulations?"

"Fire Lord" Kuya said slowly-through clenched teeth. "Mai is carrying _your_ child"

Xx~xx~xX

The events that had carried out left little to the imagination when it came to the honour the Fire Lord Zuko had brought to his Nation. In the houses of commoners; the parchments that had been sent out with news of the Fire Lord's return, with details of a royal wedding to come and with revelation of the planned coup within the Noble houses-these parchments lay at the centre of many a dinner table inside Fire Nation houses, centred and inspiring hours and days of frenzied discussion on exactly what the cost of honour was in their Nation.

It terrified some that an Honourable Leader was in essence a Dead Leader; the riches they had managed to store in the name of being the supreme Nation came into question, conscious's weighed heavy at the thought that Houses of Nobility slept on silken virgin beds made out of deceit and cowardice.

For some it was expected, to some this was knowledgeable results of the sacrifices that had to be made to be the supreme nation.

It was when Zuko-the Honourable Fire Lord Zuko-announced the ball to be held in place for the few individuals who braved the unannounced slogan of treachery of the Fire Nation, the few individuals who showed honour and deserving elevation to a nobility lost on many-did they understand that their King was worthy.

Xx~xx~xX

"We should send a search for Garza" Oishii murmured-a soft sound that was almost unheard, timidly wringing his hands over each other.

"You can speak up, Oishii" Zuko sighed, the man's-a man old enough to be his father-fear of him prickling his heart.

"We should send a search" he reiterated, slightly louder but now the sound was riddled in stammers.

"No" Mai said.

Zuko remained quiet, staring at his hand in hers and feeling the coolness of it-trying not to wonder how his own hand seemed cool too. Trying not to compare the insistent heat in his palms he felt, the sweatiness and clammy larva skin he always had when in the near vicinity of Toph.

He huffed, squeezing Mai's hand a little and garnering a soft smile from her and looked to his Uncle.

"Do you think we should search for Garza, Uncle?" he asked Iroh who inhaled deliberately, releasing his breath in weariness.

"I think… we should rest" Iroh muttered, stirring Ursa's tea carefully and pushing the delicate cup to her.

"I agree" Mai stated. "We need to concentrate on _other_ things"  
>"Garza shall die" Azula whispered, her hands folded carefully in front of her, head bowed down as if in prayer-her aura strange and secretive. "They will all <em>die<em>"  
>"The names you have mentioned on the conspiracy list, Azula…"Mai said carefully-still unsure on Azula, wisely so.<p>

"Have no proof held over them" Azula murmured dryly. "For now"  
>"Zuko…" Ursa whispered past Iroh, leaning over Iroh slightly. "Remember what I said"<p>

"Azula… don't worry about that" Zuko said softly, looking around the large table at all of them-the only people Agni had delivered to him within the Fire Nation that he could trust. "Just… don't worry"  
>"Hmm" she scoffed not raising her head. "You know… there are a number of Nobilities missing…. Including Ozai"<br>"Ozai is dead" Mahazai stated.

"Has his body been found?" Azula asked. "Have you found his body, have you any proof…"

"Azula!" Ursa hissed, slapping her palm on the table and rising out of her seat-startling Oishii "You will stay out of this… you will concentrate on meditation… you will…"  
>"Under whose authority" Azula whispered, dangerously low-eyeing Ursa through narrowed calculative eyes.<p>

"The Queen Mother" Ursa growled and Azula retreated from the discussion without another word.

Xx~xx~xX

"The things Azula said…" I sighed, walking slowly with Mai in the garden, watching the setting sun with restless patience.

"She is always looking for an enemy" Mai whispered, weaving her fingers into my own.

"There is an enemy this time" I groaned, snatching leaves from a bush violently. "There is_ something…_"  
>"Zuko" Mai pleaded. "I haven't been this happy ever. Please… halt these entire inquests until after our wedding…?"<p>

"Yes" I sighed. "But I have to give Oishii, Qie Chang and Mi their titles"  
>"Fine" she smiled. "As long as you will be mine by summers end"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"You are taking this in stride" Iroh murmured walking in slowly, his greyish robe sweeping the ground. "I have a letter from Aang"

"Hmm" I breathed, leaning back into the garden chair. "I missed this"

"The chair or…"  
>"I missed the peace" I whispered. "The calm… the lack of worrying about things I had no control over and I think… my chi is at rest"<br>"So will Toph be coming to the celebration?" he asked, the mention of her name sending my body into a rigid jerking upright position, knocking over my tall glass of orange-mango juice.

"She… is not… interested in it" I said hoarsely, trying to be nonchalant about drinking the remainder of my juice, shooing the handmaiden away as she tried to wipe my mess.

"No, I guess she wouldn't be…" he sighed. "Well, if she isn't around there will be a guarantee of your 'rested chi'"  
>"Hmm" I breathed over the glass ignoring his stern gaze.<p>

"So Azula is alive" he sighed after I didn't entertain his obvious attempt at talking about things he didn't even know about.

"You sound disappointed Uncle" Azula droned, appearing from behind the encroaching trees, a dead bird in her hand.

"What…?" I spluttered.

"It fell" she said indifferently, placing it carefully on the table and fixing its too loose dangling head. "I see you survived yet another coup yourself, Iroh"  
>"Hopefully those will be the last" Uncle said dryly looking away from Azula. "You must be excited about going of to a convent"<br>"You must be excited to be that old and nearer to death" Azula said stoically sitting on the edge of my chair and pushing my feet aggressively over so she could fit.

"As loving as ever" Uncle murmured.

"As fat as ever" Azula countered, taking my glass of juice and trespassing on my carefully crafted moment of peace.

"Well, isn't this an oddity" she laughed, poking my leg with a hot finger. "Zuko doesn't look like he is about to burst a blood vessel…"  
>"Can't you give me a moment of peace!" I hissed.<p>

"Speaking of moments…" she said thoughtfully, placing a finger on her chin "Toph left without so much as a goodbye kiss-to you or me"

"Argh" I hissed, taking my juice from her and walking away from them. "You are all insufferable!"

Xx~xx~xX

_Aang…_

_There is so much I need to talk to you about, dear friend. So much that I have seen and felt… too much I think. I wait your arrival patiently and thank you once more for controlling the Earth Nation tragedies that Garza was attempting to play out. We will discuss how to strengthen the Fire Nation bond with the Earth Kingdom on your arrival…_

_He is in hiding… I think he may still be in my Kingdom but his deceit has come under spotlight and lost him his supporters. On the subject of Garza-I fear there may be someone behind his own schemes, someone who had been using him as a puppet. We have arrested three of his co-conspirators._

_The men and women who assisted me-it would be most honourable and fitting if both the Fire Lord and Avatar gave them their new titles and ranking in the world of Nobility._

_I found my mother-or maybe she found me. She is with us-the Queen Mother and I would truly be honoured for you to meet her Avatar. She is a formidable woman, My Ursa. She and Uncle spend hours drinking tea and bothering Azula… I have never known this kind of peace and cannot wait for you to share it with me._

_Yours honourably_

_Fire Lord Zuko_

_P.S: I am getting married and having a child._

Xx~xx~xX

Will this ever be enough? It seemed as our world settled in around us and my exponentially matured mind grabbed hold of this peace or soon to be peace-it seemed as though I had no choice. This had to be enough, I could not-I should not-go searching for the greater happiness because it was not mine to take as long as I had to repair my Nation. It was not mine to take nor was it being given to me by Agni.

My heart felt strained under the pressure I put on it to accept this life, to accept this 'peace' and not to question every fleeting emotion that ran past it with hungry alternatives. I would accept… this is what was mine; acceptance was the true alternative to _destruction_…

"Zuko" Ursa whispered, walking into my chamber slow and deliberate. She squints in the dimness, looking around curiously before taking a seat on the little coffee table set up below the large window.

"Zuko" she says again, staring intently at my submerged form in the wingback chair. "Are you going to go with Mai to the doctor?"

"Yes"

"Good" she sighed. "A grandchild… wow"

"Yes, wow" I whisper. "Entirely wow…"  
>Entirely amazingly 'wow'. I don't want to think on the things Mai said she did out of her love for me, I don't want to think that I have been walking around with no knowledge that I have been changed physically and have no recollection of it and I don't want to think about Toph's opaque eyes staring straight at me, as though she had been given the gift of sight from this unfathomable pain caused by the necessities of being a Royal.<p>

I don't want to think…

But I know sooner or later these thoughts will find me.

Xx~xx~xX

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Yes, it was short and I took a while to update. It didn't sit well with me and I kept re-editing and so on until I realised that this chapter was really about concluding another change in Zuko's life-a level of maturity he has reached, the end of his fairytalesque adventure and a new adventure to come.**

**Wheew.**

**Xx tj.**


	29. Family's and their Ceremonies

This had seemed much easier in theory but in practice… I was struggling.

"Do you want to feel the baby kick, Zuko?" Mai asked, rubbing her now prominent belly gently.

"I have to finish this letter" I murmured. "Aang will arrive in a week"

"You would think he would rush when summoned by the Fire Lord" Mai grumbled, leaning back on the daybed.

"He was cleaning up a mess caused by the Fire Nation" I muttered, eyeing her from the corner of my eye. "Yet again"  
>"Hmm" she murmured, closing her eyes and frowning. "So now you have had to postpone this honour ceremony for the plebs…"<br>"Can you not call them that, Mai" I whispered.

"… and thus postponed our Wedding" she finished ignoring me. "It's been two months"

"These things can take time" I said softly.

"No, you can take time… Zuko" she hissed, turning over so her back was to me. "You want the wedding when I look like a beached Ape-Whale"  
>"Argh" I grumbled, collecting my papers and quills carefully. "I'll talk to you when you are more agreeable"<br>"And less pregnant?" she snapped.

Xx~xx~xX

There are dark thoughts in my mind that I know I should not entertain but she does not make it easy. She follows me constantly, she watches me intently and if I dare speak to any female I do not share blood with-and even then-she changes into a jealous wolverine. All these things she does have made me wonder, her mothers constant badgering has made me wonder… and Uncle says I should let sleeping Mother-in-Laws lay; but I can't ignore it anymore…

"Qie Chang…" I said softly, ignoring the new handmaiden Lady Kuya had assigned to me "Would you say things were tense when I was away?"

"Yes…"Qie Chang began and then gave an indicative look behind me-to the girl. "Some what… but that has all changed now, but some of that… tenseness lingers"  
>"Your stammer has improved, Qie Chang" I breathed.<p>

"In accordance with your temper" Uncle laughed, scribbling over documents. He would leave soon… he says he misses the Earth Nation; he says I need to start taking charge again but I am sure it is because of Azula. He fears her new change-I think he prefers her to be completely evil and demented than partially sane and emotional. He understands her better in her old ways and the change has left Azula unpredictable…

"Wont you wait till Aang arrives?" I sighed "Won't you wait until after the ceremonies?"  
>"I want to go" he says sulkily. "I am old… I need to enjoy my last years"<p>

"You will live past all of us" I laughed.

"And I can only do that when I am away from your _crazy_ sister" he snapped irritably-rubbing his elbow from were Azula had burned him after managing to convince him to train with her.

"She cares about you" I chuckled; leaning back in the chair and watching him frown over parchments, pouting slightly. "Azula… in a way…"  
>"She cares about me in <em>a way<em>?" he scoffed rolling his eyes. "The only way that girl can ever care is in a _bad_ way"

"You wont give her a chance?" I asked. "You gave me a chance"

"I gave you a chance… because I knew you wouldn't _kill_ me!" he laughed. "Now her… she needs… she needs Ursa. I have lost my old patience in this age"  
>"This is unlike you"<p>

"This is very much like me" he whispered. "She insulted my long gone wife…"  
>"That was wrong of her" I sighed.<p>

"She is jealous you let me rule" Iroh murmured looking at me calmly. "Besides… it is possible that two people are simply unable to get along. It doesn't mean she has stopped being my niece"  
>"Right" I sighed.<p>

"And mostly…" Iroh breathed, stopping his writing and leaning back into the seat-watching my face. "I have a Fair Celebration to help prepare"  
>"A Fair…"I paused and picked up a rolled piece of parchment carefully-revising it like it would reveal the secret to lightning… "Hmm… yes."<p>

"She sent me a letter" Iroh muttered, Qie Chang automatically sensing that this conversation was not meant to be heard and leaving the room-coaxing Kuya's spy to follow him with murmurs of 'Tea Supplies' and 'Baby Shower Lists'.

"That was nice of her" I whispered.

"She said she sent Azula a letter too" Iroh sighed. "That… confused me a bit"  
>"They get along in a violent way" I said absently-refusing to look at him.<p>

"Hmm" he murmured. "Will you ever tell me what happened… or didn't happen?"  
>"Nothing happened" I whispered.<p>

"Is that the problem?"

"It is Agni's blessing that nothing happened!" I grumbled, crushing the parchment into my fist-which after much unrelenting inspection turned out to be a receipt for wood planks.

"Okay…" Iroh said carefully. "So something was about to…"

"Nothing _Bloody_ Happened!" I growled, the grainy paper bursting into flames in my clenched fist.

"She is a kid!" I roared-weeks of locked up anger at losing my privacy due to this engagement and Mahazai's snake-like wife, losing my mind to a pregnancy I had no recollection of causing; locked up anger that meditation had managed to abate freed finally.

"This Ball… it signifies that what you say about her being a _kid _is not true" Iroh said calmly, smiling a little at my looming form pacing in front of the desk.

"She is younger than I…" I continued ignoring him, ignoring the ashes seeping from my fist. "She is… we are… she had no right-we shouldn't have… and I am with Mai. I love Mai… and it is wrong for me to even… what you are implying about… Argh!"  
>"Okay then" Iroh muttered, unperturbed. "Then there is no problem… you can hand Qie Chang, Oishii and Mi's certificates and such without a ceremony and attend Toph's Ball"<p>

"Huh?" I stopped fuming, my mouth hanging open and stared at him.

"Her Fair is in a week" Uncle murmured. "I have informed Aang and he agreed to give Qie Chang and all a reasonable acclamation and leave with us to the Earth Nation"

"You spoke with Aang about this behind my back!" I shouted. "Is this some sort of coup…"

"Well… I actually wrote the letter _in front_ of you and…" he said sheepishly "And you know 'coup' is a very sensitive word around here, use it in moderation please…"

"Iroh!" I hissed.

"Ursa agrees with me on this one" he said softly, smiling slyly-knowing full well that if Ursa was involved he had won already. "You can't miss her Ball and you _strategically_ pushing for the Acclamation Ceremony to be at the same time…"  
>"I didn't know when her Ball was!" I snarled.<p>

"Right" Iroh laughed. "Is this why you badgered Mi to find out about the Moon Festival in the Earth Nation?"

"I didn't…"I spluttered. "Mi… I didn't exactly _badger_ her-she offered to research on her own… it was… I was curious and you know how… _immersed_ she gets with…. Me…"  
>"A Nation so treacherous and yet its leader is incapable of lying without having verbal cardiac arrest" Iroh said thoughtfully. "Oh the irony of it…"<p>

"Okay" I breathed "I may have… wanted to skip… the Ball"  
>"Because…?" Iroh prodded.<p>

"Personal conflicts and such" I grumbled. "You realise I have a mother-in-law intent on spying on me –the Fire Lord-and you bringing this up…"  
>"Ursa has her in check" Iroh sighed. "Your mother is most <em>shrewd<em>… I had never realised the extent in which I missed her"

"I will go" I muttered resignedly.

"Because you are not a coward" Iroh added. "It would be a shame to lose such a wonderful friendship because of whatever it is that _didn't happen_"

"You are a nosey old man, do you know that?"

"You and Azula are resolute that I do not forget" Iroh grinned. "I think Mai should remain… a pregnant woman should not be travelling…"  
>"She wouldn't have wanted to come in any case" I sighed already predicting her sullen response to this, her dry tone whining that I should stay with her …<br>"Is there no way of you arranging Azula's Convent days come earlier?" he sighed. "I was really hoping on enjoying the Ball's festivities without worrying about my tea being spiked…"

"Ursa will be with her Uncle and you know she is not out to kill you" I grumbled-feeling cornered into facing something more terrifying than Mai and her mother.

"I suppose she isn't…"Uncle sighed. "But old habits die hard"

Xx~xx~xX

"Katara says she doesn't mind sending a sage till we convince the Convent you are willingly going there for treatment and will be no threat" Aang murmured to Azula-his smile strained and awkward on his face.

I watched their interaction nervously, looking to Uncle for support but he was fighting of a fit of laughter at Aang's terrified stance towards Azula; who was revelling in his fear. She sat still, eyeing him from the corner of her eye and huffing in response to any questions he posed until Ursa urged her to "Not forget her propriety that they had been working on"

"Why can't she go to the Water Nation and get treated there" Mai murmured softly before huddling into my side when Azula threw her a dangerous look-obviously hearing something Mai had thought was said softly.

"She has to be comfortable, Mai" Ursa sighed, stroking Azula's hair carefully. "See… Zula, this means you can go to Toph's Celebration, I know you are looking forward to it"

"Hmm" Azula murmured behind her glass of wine.

"The Fire Nation Royal family attending it will signify a new change…"Aang began looking to me and Iroh when Mai coughed delicately and deliberately-pausing everyone's soft clattering of forks and eating.

"We are rushing to the Earth Girl…" Mai began.

"The Lady Grand Master Toph Bei Fong" I murmured-trying to keep my voice levelled and not growl at her and ignoring Iroh's side comment that Mai was "Hormonal of late" to Kuya.

"Whatever you want to call her" Mai rolled her eyes. "… and you can't even organise a ceremony for our _engagement_…."

"Maybe after everything we can do that Mai-have a baby shower and engagement ceremony" Azula said softly, sipping her wine gracefully. "Or maybe we can start with a ceremony to celebrate Zuko losing his _virginity_…"  
>"Azula!" Ursa hissed and I groaned. I had known any such 'Dinner' involving my whole family-In-laws included-was going to end in beautiful Azula-esque chaos. But Uncle and Ursa formed a formidable team when it came to bullying me with gentle pushing and understanding firm words…<p>

"…Or is it that you were _raped_, Zuzu… I get the details confused between Kuya and Ursa's _polite _fights" Azula finished innocently-sipping her wine again and smiling gently at me, oblivious to Mahazai and Kuya's shocked expressions and furious spluttering.

"In which case…"Azula continued, avoiding Ursa's hand that was trying to cover her mouth and Kuya's ambivalent murmurs of 'Disgraceful Behaviour' and 'Fabricated Accusations' "We would have a coming of age ceremony for you losing your virginity-which I had to admit I had doubts about _ever_ happening, a baby shower, an engagement ceremony and then a wedding, a honey moon-oh, no… Mai, I think you'd be too pregnant for that one…and if you so wish Zuzu… you could also have a Court Ceremony to tie up all these festivities where you press charges against the mother of your child and new wife for rape"

"I… this is…" I began and then gave up, looking across to Aang whose grey wise eyes were staring wide and disbelieving from my face, to Iroh's to Mai's before he glared at his fruit salad in front of him as though it was the reason all of this was happening.

"How are you finding the weather, Avatar?" Ursa breathed after fifteen minutes of silence.

"Is it better than the weather in the Spirit World?" Azula laughed, slurping her wine now and watching me with tipsy glee. "Because if it isn't… I could easily arrange to send you to the Spirit World for a more tolerable climate and prolonged holiday … for _old time's sake_"

"Azula!" Ursa roared.

"What…" she mumbled. "It's not like you are all not thinking about Mai and Zuko's incident… besides, I needed an icebreaker… how many times have I tried for your life, _Avatar_ Aang?"

"I guess…" Aang murmured looking at me thoughtfully but with a slight alarmed edge. "Fewer times than Zuko actually"

"Hmm…" Azula mumbled-moving her wine glass away from Ursa's reach. "I guess I have to change that record if I have any chance of having a _friendship_ with you like Zuko does"  
>"It's a joke…"Aang laughed nervously, pulling at the collar of his robe after an icy silence fell upon us. "You have… a great sense of humour…"<p>

"From someone who has been on the receiving end of my nieces _humour_" Iroh said calmly, cutting his steak "I would take those words seriously, Avatar Aang" 

Xx~xx~xX

"So… how are you finding having your family back… or is it together?" Aang asked, pausing his Air Bending stance to wipe a sheen of sweat from his brow.

It was late-much too late to be sparring-but he had followed me from our lounge after Iroh had fallen asleep. I thought he would watch me, but of course he wanted to know if I had used any of his meditation techniques to my Bending…

"It was better in my mind" I grumbled. "Could you not use Air Bending…"

"You need to get over my Air Bending" he laughed. "Or do you prefer _Earth _bending…"  
>"What's that supposed to mean!" I growled. "I am a soon to be married…"<br>"Hey!" he chuckled. "It was a question not an accusation…"

"Right" I sighed, giving up on sparring and walking over to the fountain quickly. "Questions and Accusations"

"Azula is…" he said thoughtfully, following me. "Well, the Queen Mother seems to have _that_ under control somewhat; I never thought I would ever be having dinner with _Azula_…"  
>"Kuya asked me why Ursa is retaining that title of Queen Mother when I am King and Mai is to be my wife…" I sighed. "I told her to get out of my office… <em>politely<em>"

"It never ends with you" Aang sighed, sitting beside me and joining me in watching the moon dip behind grey clouds. "This is the ancestors repaying you for harassing me in my youth"

"Maybe…" I sighed.

"How are things with Toph" he asked calmly-something about his tone not prickling my anger or raising my defences. It felt safe to have Toph's name mentioned in his presence…

"I try not to think of her" I whispered. "There is no point…"

"How is that going?"  
>"Badly" I mumbled, glaring at my hands. "I am now struggling with meditation, I don't think I will ever be able to bend lightning… and that child Mia is carrying…"<br>"_Your_ child" Aang whispered, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Your child, Zuko…"  
>"I don't want to be like…"<br>"You won't be like Ozai to the child" he finished softly. "But back to Toph…"  
>"Hmm" I murmured.<p>

"I… can't pretend to understand it" he sighed. "But what I know is… if what Katara tells me about Toph's _intended _is true… you have to keep your ties with her open. You can't end things so… cagily. She is good for you… as a friend of course… it will take years for the Earth Nation and Fire Nation to be in harmony and we can't risk that over something so small, you agree my friend?"  
>"You know…" I said controlled rising from the bench and standing before the moon-wiling my petulant side not to rise and fight Aang's logic-not to speak out and argue that what I felt couldn't be described as <em>something so small..<em>. "The truth about not _thinking_ of her… Aang… the truth is…"  
>"What Zuko?" he urged softly.<p>

"I don't want to end up in uncontrolled obsession" I whispered. "Like with you, like with the finding my mother and more especially with lightning… I don't want to end up destroying myself because I can't accept _failure_"

"I understand" he sighed. "But there is no failure… if you have her as a friend Zuko"

"Then maybe you don't really understand" I murmured watching him closely. "I will always be the aggressive golden dragon and a peaceful humming butterfly in one"

"Complacently passive and unalterably fervent simultaneously to any one situation" I breathed. "I fear what seeing her will do to me. What it will make me do to Mai and my family when I have come so far and if that is not enough, I can feel the _snakes_ moving in the walls. Azula can feel them too… they have not been chased away, simply _hiding_"

"Hiding in plain sight" Aang sighed.

"Better the enemy you know, when it comes to Mahazai" I laughed derisively.

"Is this why you have postponed her going to the Convent, why you have had me lie that they are unwilling to help her…" he asked.

"I apologise for that… but I need her as much as I need Ursa. Uncle is leaving and… well" I grumbled "Do you think I am mad to trust her like this?"

"Uh…. Yes" he said smiling a little. "You are mad… especially for trusting _Azula_ but I suppose… blood is thicker than wine or is it oil with Azula?"  
>"Only half insane" I whispered ignoring his private joke. "Because if I had any full reason in me… I wouldn't attend Toph's Ball and quickly marry Mai"<p>

"Zuko"

"Aang"  
>"Take it easy buddy" he sighed, rising up and walking over to me, patting my back slightly.<p>

"Don't I always?" I breathed, closing my eyes and immediately seeing her opaque shadowy emerald eyes staring at me with heartbreak-engraved on my eyelids and torturing me with each blink for months upon seconds now.

Self denial had been my crutch in this injury but I was forced to confront it… why couldn't she be like Aang and Ursa; an obsession I could conquer and overcome. She was just a youthful fixation-there was no similarity or link between Toph and Lightning… it was just a fascination for the unattainable and elusive… and if she wasn't a child and I was a _man_ then what was stopping us from walking over such childish games and admitting defeat.

"There is nothing to fear" I murmured but Aang had left me standing alone on the training grounds already, possibly returning to his chamber to write to his beloved Katara after I had kept him out for too long. I had Mai and her foul moods to look forward to…

"I will not be the one to destroy everything…" I said-I begged Agni.

"_Please_ don't let _me_ destroy…" I whispered-prayed. "Don't let me destroy _us"_

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I apologise for the long overdue update. I went on holiday… without my laptop and I was cursing myself-so many idea's lost due to lack of jotting them down...**

**Review Responses and Pm's**

**About the typo's-I will go back when I am done with this story and fix things up-promise. Right now lets focus on getting this done, right! But I do make an effort to edit.**

**Zuko being confusing-uh, elaborate so I can better understand please, lol. How, why, where and when… chapter quotes would help?**

**About the different chapter lengths-i can't even explain it but sometimes its just to introduce the mood or a change in atmosphere in the story… and like this chapter, a look at shifting dynamics in relationships was due. Introducing the Royal Family and their drama's! No Ordinary Family…!**

*** his temper is a little bit more controlled * a change in age and growth-sacrificing something can make you become a little more mature. So basically Toph is just about nearing the end of her teen years… I wont say the ages because I have admittedly not been keeping track (hides) but I will go back and estimate sometime.**

**And it isn't just about Zuko but how the people around him affect him right, and how they contribute to the oncoming Toko. As much as this is a slow angsty romance (apologises for the major romance foreplay), there is adventure and other characters too-and I would like every character to have a conclusion-not be randomly mentioned and the dropped. *cough*twilightanyone?*cough*cough.**

**Enough Coughing Fits and Rambling**

**Remember to review…**

**Till next time.**

**tj**


	30. Dreaming of Peace

_Many a sacrifice a ruler has made; many a sacrifice a nation has been given…_

"Zuko?"

"Azula" he breathes-already feeling impatient. She had badgered him about numerous things prior to the eve of their departure. She peers into his office, bronze-ish eyes in the light of his dimming candles and face shrouded in apprehension and a frustrating pride pinching at her pouted mouth.

"Can I come in?" she asks timidly and he frowns.

"When have you ever knocked?" he asks her charily. "In fact… when have you ever _asked_ for anything?"  
>"I wanted to talk about the Ball" she asks softly, closing the door and looking over at the handmaiden with a violent scowl. "Alone"<p>

"Leave" he sighs wearily at the girl who hesitates-glancing at Zuko and half-stepping towards the door.

"Leave… before I burn your little insignificant head off!" Azula growls, the girl skipping out of the room quickly and Zuko grinning-he knew this Azula better than the new shy-but-still-terrifying version.

"Nicely done" he grins.

"Yes" she breathes, wisping into the perimeter of his large desk and gazing at his office with mild contempt. "I do know how to be a Fire Lord better than _some_…"  
>"Are you never going to get over that" Zuko groans.<p>

"I am over it" she says seriously, looking at him with wide eyes. "That was _humour_…"  
>"You really need to stay away from humour then" Zuko chuckles, leaning back in the seat "Especially at the Ball… I can't risk going to war over your <em>morbid<em> wit"  
>"You like it better when Toph does it" she complains flakily sitting opposite him slowly, watching as his face flinched briefly before smoothing over.<p>

"I don't like it any better with _anyone_" he sighs after a moment. "Sarcasm is unnecessary"  
>"Hmm" she murmurs.<p>

They sit in silence for a moment, Zuko miles away in Gaoling, anticipating his own arrival in the Earth Nation-dreading his oncoming interrogation from King Kuei, dreading having to monitor Azula who was barely just accepted on the Earth Nation lands, nervous about introducing his mother to the world, saddened by his uncle's promise to stay in Gaoling for a few more years and Toph… he couldn't bear to think of it. It was easier if he gave it a conclusion without any introduction to his already filled to the brim strain; he would see her, he would smile, he would congratulate her and when everything was over he would return home… to Mai and await Toph's wedding invitation from her and Kuei's son.

Azula watched him closely, with a keenness she had developed since their childhood of reading his thoughts; a talent once used for destruction but that now gave her discomfort instead, she didn't like the frown he gave at the mention of Toph's name, she didn't like the argument inside her of the logic of 'The Mai Situation'. Her own problems weighed over her, her own confusion made her wonder around aimlessly on the Fire Nation grounds and her secrets… they bore down on her heavily and the release of a previous consuming ambition for ruling a Nation and a World- the release of this goal and purpose made every filth and stain on her life come full force in her eyes-she had no distraction to push it away and hide from it and if she stayed still for a moment; it would consume her and release her from her feeble grab on reality to the depths of paranoid damning destruction.

She needed to be distracted…

"You are seriously leaving Mai here" she asks him in disbelief. "Maybe I should stay…"

"You want to go to the Ball" he says dryly.

"I want to go to the Ball but I don't want to return and find another coop"

"Didn't I tell you not to worry about such things" he sighs.

"…I was born into such things" she whispers, looking away form him. "It's all I know and if you take it away form me… I'll be nothing"  
>"It's the reason you got <em>ill<em>" he snaps eyes flashing.

"It is part of a bigger reason" she says quietly folding her arms over her chest and grimacing at her memories "We diverge…"  
>"We don't…"<br>"I don't think anyone wants to come back to find your rape-foetus taking throne" she hissed, never giving him a chance to prod at her memories wound and he blanches.

"We are all going…" he says shakily, controlling his anger-breathing slow and deliberate. "I have made travel arrangements"  
>"You all have…" she stammers, gulping and picking at his desk "Plus ones?"<p>

"What?"  
>"Dates" she whispers "For the Ball-Toph mentioned something… oh, stop frowning when I say her name… about dates"<p>

"Well, I guess…" Zuko sighed looking at Azula suspiciously "Why, what is this to you…?"  
>"I don't have… one"<p>

"Oh… uhm, I'll… you could be my date since Mai…"  
>"Argh… your stammer is nauseating, do you know that? Get that checked" she huffed slamming his desk with her fisted elegant hand and leaving a smaller identical scorch opposite his own scorch mark "I really just came to <em>remind<em> you of your Fiancé's _double-crossing _pregnancy… I'll go pack if it is _necessary_ I come"

Xx~xx~xX

The ship moved queasily through the waves briefly; pushing in a lurching motion from side to side and dipping through the gravity of the water. The steamer's roared at the far end, smoke trailing from the funnel-like tubes on the top and leaving a bread crumb of smoke in the air. His heart pounded with each loud hiss the coal gave, his eyes tearing at the smoke and his mind a web of disastrous scenario's; scenes that he was trying to fight from his sights, disaster's that would tarnish the feeble peace between him and the volatile Earth Nation and thoughts and memories that made his skin heat up past the high temperature of the engine room.

He ignored the men working the coal and machines, he ignored their discomfort at having their Fire Lord seated still and far away in the large room at the depth of the ship but he had to smile at how meticulous they had begun to work. As though he would at any moments correct them on handling the engine-when he himself knew nothing of machinery past his duo blades and constructing rafts.

He had run way from them; from his mother's ever perceptive gaze at his fake stability, from Azula's erratic moods from terrifyingly zealous to gaunt unhappiness, from Iroh's sighing and unsubtle and tactless conversations on his reception in Gaoling and mostly from Aang's insistent reminder of the _peace_.

He had run away mostly from the Avatar whom he knew was looking for him…

"Zuko" Aang sighed, ducking under a copper pipe and drifting out of the way of scorching steam; his image hazing in the veil of condensed air-a shimmering slender man with sparkling eyes, eerie and sacrosanct.

"I needed to get away" Zuko murmured, watching as Aang looked around curiously, that child-like innocence he never seemed to shake in his maturity and wisdom etching over his face.

"Yes, I do worry about Azula's safety in the Earth Nation" Aang mumbled mildly, accepting a padded stool with a grateful smile from a young boy and moving over to Zuko.

"I have spoken to Kuei" Aang stated, watching Zuko. "She is under strict orders to remain in is Guest Estate…"  
>"She is basically under house arrest" he grumbled.<p>

"Well, did you expect…"  
>"I know" he breathed. "I know… It just feels like Ursa and I are the only ones who are giving her this chance"<br>"You are the only ones she smiles at" Aang smiled "You are the only ones who are witnessing her repentance and remorse whether she wants to show it or not… when the world sees it to, they will give her a chance but in the meantime try and put yourself in their shoes"  
>"I am her brother" he hissed. "It shouldn't be that I have to keep my sister under lock and key for fear of her raining tyranny on the world"<br>"It is what it is" Aang sighed.

"Your real reason of searching me out now?" Zuko breathed warily, looking at Aang from the corner of his eyes and frowning when Aang smiled sheepishly.

"I just wanted to talk…"

"Some more talking, huh?" Zuko grumbled. "I hope you aren't substituting me for Katara with all these _sharing of emotions…_"  
>"No" Aang said without humour. "I am being your friend"<br>"No, your being the Avatar" Zuko snapped impatiently, walking away from Aang and glaring at the hot haze around the furnace. "You think I can tread in-between the lines of your concern about Toph and I?"

"I am concerned as a friend…"  
>"Cut the Ostrich-horse shit, Avatar" he hissed, scowling violently, eyes flashing with an anger that rivalled the burning coal, an anger that crawled through his veins and begged to be released in one unforgivable energy.<p>

"I…."

"_Aang_" Zuko said the name with scorching intolerance and Aang closed his mouth slowly, shaking his head.

"You think I would have an affair with her" Zuko said in an icy calmness. "Have I not told you I wouldn't… why do you insist…"  
>"Iroh" Aang answered. "And Azula… and Ursa…"<br>"What have they told you?" he asked shakily, terrified that there may be something he missed that all three of his family members had grasped onto; some secret plan he had muttered in his sleep that he had no recollection of, a suicide mission for the Fire Nation…

"That you are in love with her" Aang breathed and Zuko's throat constricted painfully, drying up and leaving his lips parched and eyes stinging.

"I… how the hell did they come up with that nonsense!" Zuko roared. "I do not….. I could _never_ love her; she is like… a… _sister_!"

"A lie spoken and a lie refuted"

"This is not the damn time for _riddles Aang!" _Zuko roared and the engine snarled along with him as the coals burned too quickly, a long yellow-orange fire tongue licking out of the furnace's mouth and the Engine workers, shying away from the three degrees of increased heat in the Engine room-backing away from the machines.

"Calm down… Zuko!" Aang stammered, raising his hands, pushing swiftly down in a sharp slanting motion and trying to control the heat of the room-anxiously realising that Zuko's control on his chi was still unhinged and possibly always would be but his fire-energy was impossibly greater than Aang's own. He had to work twice as hard to control the flames and temperature while Zuko stood infuriated and unaware at what his tantrums could do.

"I see that the logical approach to…."Zuko began, pacing in a daze, ignoring the captain's shouts about the engine overloading and the other Fire Bender's assisting Aang in cooling the room "…what am I even saying. You know I have a child on the way, do you think I would be so… so…"  
>"Zuko!" Aang hissed. "Could you cool it?"<br>"Huh?"

"Cool it!"

"Oh…" he smiled sheepishly at the frustrated crew men, gulping a little. "I apologize…"  
>"Right" Aang huffed, wiping his brow. "I know you are noble, but some of these things go beyond being honourable… trust me. I am not out to get you… or make you feel like, you know…a lout or something… I am just making sure. For your sake"<p>

"Hmm" Zuko grumbled looking away from Aang. "I am guessing if you had your way we would not be friends?"  
>"It's a tricky situation Zuko… Iroh has convinced me you need her in your life but I have to speak to Toph too. She is young and a little naïve…" Aang murmured. "Kuei is old, the boy is next in line… he is smitten with Toph, she likes him too…"<br>"I have heard enough, I _get it_" he snarled. "If you will excuse me…"  
>"Zuko…"<br>"I am going to retire"

Xx~xx~xX

"Won't you go to the lounge?" Ursa murmured softly, lighting the candles with a match and ignoring Zuko's index finger with the little flame breathing out of it indicatively.

"No… I am tired" Zuko mumbled, petulantly withdrawing the flame.

"You were never a good liar" she laughed, shooing the maid and pulling his burgundy covers over the bed, fluffing his pillow. He thought she was making up for the times she had missed, the years she had been away-always asking him if he was okay and tending to him and Azula. She had tried to show Mai how to make him pumpkin-chilli soup and had returned to him growling how her daughter in-law was incapable of boiling water without burning it.

"I don't want to be bothered about meditating and…"  
>"And Toph?" she asked him quickly smiling understandingly. "I told them to stop"<p>

"You…"

"Yes" she smiled. "They can be a bit overbearing; Aang talks a lot and Iroh never had any talent for elusive suggestions"

"Go enjoy their company" she laughed, walking slowly the door. "They miss your brooding presence and not this fuming about"

"Just one thing" Ursa breathed slowly, smiling a little. "Would you arrange… _something_ for your sister?"

"Something?"

"A date"

Xx~xx~xX

"I cannot wait to return to my teashop" Iroh breathed, his eyes closed and mouth pulled up in a tight grin.

"I cannot wait to have your tea" Aang laughed. "Zuko… are you excited about Uncle…"  
>"When will you drop the 'Uncle' Avatar" Iroh chuckled.<p>

"When you drop the _Avatar_, Uncle… uhm, General…" Aang stuttered, picking a prune out of Iroh's bowl and casting Zuko a cautious glance. "Anyhow, Zuko… about the tea…"  
>"I think I would like to have unboiled water for a change" Zuko muttered.<p>

"He is sulking because I am staying for a while in Gaoling" Iroh explained. "Amongst other things…"  
>"You don't quit do you?" Zuko snapped.<p>

"Give me some entertainment… anything… and I'll quit" Iroh sighed, glancing at the door as it opened and a timid form entered the lounge slowly. "_Right_ on queue"

"You requested for me…"Qie Chang murmured, shuffling over to the pool of light were the Avatar lay on the soft carpet with cushions around him, General Iroh laying languidly in the recliner and Fire Lord Zuko seated tense on an ottoman.

"Oh, yes… Qie Chang…join us" Zuko smiled, pointing at a chair near him. "A drink…?"

"Uh…"Qie Chang looked briefly at the Avatar, shying away from the curios grey eyes and staring at his slippers instead.

"Pour some wine, girl" Zuko said coolly. "Won't you sit, Qie Chang… join us please"

The boy sat down, grasping the wine glass with both hands when it was handed to him and looking around the large luxuriant lounge with wide terrified eyes. No matter the status he had received, no matter the calm conversations the Avatar had attempted to engage him-he was never short of awe and shock at his new fortune and elevation. Always expecting someone to tell him he had stumbled upon this and in any moment, he had to return to his rightful post… always expecting this when called upon by the Fire Lord…

"Qie Chang…" Zuko smiled and Qie Chang nervously gulped his wine, taking too much in his moth and slurping, the red staining his chin "Uhm… do you need a towel?"

"Where was I…" Zuko murmured.  
>"Terrifying poor Qie Chang with your jarring <em>manly<em> voice" Iroh murmured.

"Oh, yes…"Zuko continued, ignoring his Uncle "I have a request. I realise that… it may be _strange _to begin with but I can think of no one else…"  
>"Because they have either died or run off…" Iroh muttered and Aang snorted, Qie Chang's blanching fuelling their glee.<p>

"No fear Qie Chang" Zuko smiled carefully "It really isn't a life or death request…"

"I suggest writing a Will" Aang murmured and Iroh high-fived him, chuckling deeply, his belly moving with each bout of laughter.

"Would you shut up… you sound like Sokka!" Zuko hissed "This is not funny, this… Anyway, Qie Chang…"

Zuko glanced back at Qie Chang; he sat quivering in the seat, his glass of wine finished and shaking between his hands before the maiden came to rescue it from his unpredictable grasp and then he whipped his hands to the arms of his seats, gripping fearsomely and sinking further into the leather of the chair, his eyes wide and trained on Zuko's startled face…

"Qie Chang… no fear, my good man" Zuko smiled uneasily, ignoring Aang and Iroh's mirth behind him.

"Seriously?" Aang hacked "There is _only_ fear…"

"Spit it out Zuko…" Iroh roared, wheezing "The suspense is killing him before she gets a chance!"  
>"It would…"Zuko stammered, taking in a deep breath "It would… ease my mind if you…escorted… the… Princess Azula to the ball"<p>

Qie Chang stood up suddenly, his face glistening and his hand clutching his shirt over his heart. They watched him with bated breath as he gulped, calmed himself and then asked;

"Is… that….all…My Lord?"

"You see" Zuko smiled, pointing at Qie Chang "He could handle it. I knew he could…"  
>Qie Chang dropped to the floor with a lumpy thump startling the two maidens into soft screams and causing the three men to gasp in surprise.<p>

"Shit" Zuko cursed.

"Did he say yes or no?" Iroh asked quickly, peering at Qie Chang's limp breathing form on the hard wood "Because I bet for _no_…"  
>"His loyalty to Zuko will make him say yes" Aang said ominously. "And monks don't gamble, we state facts"<p>

"In that case…"Iroh breathed, leaning back into his chair "He deserves another title. That there is willing to 'die for your king'…"

"Could someone… oh _Agni_" Zuko breathed tiredly, waving at the shocked maidens. "Get him a doctor _please_…"

Xx~xx~xX

Fairytales and dreams were never her _thing_.

Princesses and Princes had never interested her, balls and gowns could never give her any pleasure. Maybe it was because she was blind that she had been like this; why worry about things that were dependant on a loud vibrant two dimensional visual when all she knew was the ground beneath her feet.

All she knew was _structures _and three dimensional beauties of living things, of intricate architecture and magnificent natural forms. It would be so easy to say no, to give up on this and go back to the safety of earth. It would be so easy to forsake this channel through her youth, to ignore this ritual to signify her womanhood and throw herself into the consoling blanket of her childhood and remain there.

Forever a child… never having to deal with all of this…

"It would please you to know…" her mother breathed, pursing her lips-an impatient expression that was invisible to her and a tone that she had grown accustomed to. "The Fire Nation Royal Family have arrived"  
>"They are early" she sighed, allowing her handmaiden to exfoliate her fingers.<p>

"Well…"Poppy Bei Fong murmured a slight giggle in her tone "I asked Iroh to help with arranging your pre-party exclusive entertainment…"  
>"Hmm" Toph murmured-almost groaned-although she loved Iroh to death, his constant flirting with her mother was exasperating.<p>

"And he said he brought his nephew" Lady Bei Fong sighed delicately-pretending to cover up a pompously happy excitement. "That would be the Fire Lord… that you rescued. No Moon Ball has ever been more honoured Toph, your dismissing this has paid off, this Ball will be immortalized in the very tales of all, Fire Lord and the Avatar…"  
>"Zuko is here?" Toph froze, snatching her hands away from the quiet girl and startling her. "I thought he would stay with Mai…"<p>

"The Fire Lord Zuko" Lady Bei Fong corrected. "You are a woman now, a woman of the Bei Fong house and a Lady, not to mention Grand Master and very possibly… a Queen. You will not throw etiquette out the window"  
>"I will do as I please, mother" Toph snapped and Poppy groaned. "This Ball… it will be my ticket away from you and your <em>kitchenettes<em>"

"Toph…"

"And you will be a royal" Toph said derisively. "Hoorah"

"You know it is not…"  
>"It <em>is<em>" Toph said coolly "Don't let my unworried behaviour fool you, don't let these sparkling things you have draped on me make you thing I have forgotten how to _roll in mud_… I am doing this Ball and I am doing it my way in the end, so plan all you want but I'll have the final say"

"Toph" Poppy Bei Fong said, her lower lip jutting out and voice turning sulky "You promised I could decorate…"  
>"So decorate" Toph sighed. "Just drop the bossy act mom; you bossed me into doing this… could it not be the last time?"<p>

"It's my job as your mother…" she whined.

"I want to go exploring" Toph said airy, already imagining the many different landscapes she was yet to feel and see-the places she would run away too. "And I will go after this…"

"And kids?"

"Are you insane?" Toph yelled. "I agreed to marry him not start a nursery..."  
>"It will be <em>expected<em>…"  
>"I'll cross that bridge when I get there" Toph sad dryly<br>"And one more thing" Poppy sighed, folding her hands in her lap delicately "Could you not _bully_ and intimidate King Kuei's son… it is _unlady_ like… and the boy _likes_ you a lot as it is. There is no need to rock that boat"  
>"I do not <em>intimidate<em> him" she laughed. "I give him lessons on how to be _my _husband in the future. I don't see why I have to suffer in this _arrangement _just because I am female…"  
>"Why you told him he will have to make your bed is besides me" Poppy sighed. "There are handmaidens…"<br>"I want my bed made by my husband"  
>"It is unheard of Toph" Lady Bei Fong growled.<p>

"Give it a year…" Toph chuckled, gathering her long dress carefully and walking fluidly over the marble "You'll _hear_ about it mother…"

Xx~xx~xX

Her insides were twisting up, her breath coming out in short gasps and her hands sweaty. She had thought she had more time for composure. She had thought she would have time to prepare for him and prepare for herself…

There would be a dinner to welcome them no doubt, _of course _there would be a dinner-this was Poppy Bei Fong here. And Iroh… they would discuss her relationship with King Kuei's son; they would discuss more than just the _stupid Ball…_

They would discuss her. She didn't want to be discussed. She didn't want to have to sit in the same space as Zuko and remember what it was like to have a boy-no, not boy-he was _a man_… hold her so thoroughly, intimidate _her_ and challenge _her_. Certainly not in front of Kuei's son… not in front of her content to be led soon-to-be husband.

It was just a Ball. It would happen, it would start and end and she would be free to go to some strange place off the map and move mountains.

Or volcanoes… no, she probably shouldn't tamper with volcanoes…

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**REMEMBER TO REVIEW; LIKES SUGGESTIONS AND CRITICISM IS WELCOMED. HELPS TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY ;) hey, you… no jumping into bed without making yourself known to me!**

**AND THANK YOU TO THE CONSTANT READER AND REVIEWER, YOU ARE LEGEND!**


	31. The Guest of Honour

"Stop sulking…"

"Stop talking" he hissed back, his features never once relenting on their inflexible edge, his clean shaven face formidable and tinted a creamy gold under the relentless Earth Nation sun.

She sighed, falling back to walk beside her mother and watched his carefully gliding form move over the timber dock in uncaring swiftness. It was like he had switched off, she thought. Like whatever bumbling version of Zuko that resided in his six foot something encasing had been scared off by this tiger-lion that resembled Ozai powerfully.

"Let him be" Ursa murmured, pulling Azula's taller frame closer to her and looking around her anxiously, the Earth Nation soldiers and escorts glaring at her-or more precisely _Azula_-with solid steely gazes. "He has a lot on his plate besides the Ball…"

"He is too… closed. Too _cold_." she breathed, trying not to pay any attention to the hard looks and distrust the Earth Nation government workers gave her as they led them to the carriage swiftly, trying not to feel the prickling sensation of discomfort mingling with guilt at what had happened on her last trip here. The woman she was-the woman she had been shaped by her father-knew what every look meant. She knew what every narrowed gaze entailed for her very mental health before erupting into chaos for her physical-she was not safe in the Earth Nation. She was not wanted even if Toph and Kuei had convinced many that she was no threat… she was allowed here, but she was not in the least bit desired.

She was not wanted in any Nation, barely her own even and now she was causing Zuko's peace and recovery of their kingdom a serious blow. Who cared if she recovered, who cared indeed if the wounds of others were still bleeding freely from her blow even after she had stowed her swords away.

Xx~xx~xX

"Zuko"

"Uncle…" he breathed, gazing out the window stonily as they moved through the city. The soldiers marching dutifully by the coach's side; their green, cream and black uniforms crisp and hair long and tied back.

"I am in no mood" Zuko finished after a beat, sitting back into the seat and allowing the motion of the coach to sway him slightly. "If you can understand… I have to deal with Kuei and Aang is on my back about this peace and on top of everything I can only pray Azula behaves herself…"  
>"Not to mention announcing Ursa and explaining that" Iroh murmured<p>

"Oh, yes…" Zuko muttered. "It never ends"  
>"Not for you…"Iroh chuckled. "If it did you would be left with nothing to brood over…"<br>"You are not staying with us?" Zuko asked.

"I have my own little place in the city" Iroh sighed "It's… quaint and away from the bustle. I need to be away for a bit"  
>"Will you not be at the…" he took in a heavy breath "Bei Fongs then?"<br>"Oh, I would not miss that for all the tea in… oh; we are in the Earth Nation aren't we?" Iroh laughed "Okay, how about for all the hairs on Appa"  
>"You haven't even been on the bison" Zuko sighed impatiently.<p>

"Hmm" Iroh breathed. "But in my _mind_ I have"

"Senile old fool" Zuko grumbled.

"What was that?"

"I said see you soon" Zuko said too loudly.

Xx~xx~xX

x

Xx~xx~xX

Her room was a striking ostentatious lush open space-as was with most rooms of any noble born individual. It was lost on her exactly how 'over the top' it actually was; the large bed she could roll on from end to end was set in the second half of her room with shimmering gold blinds draping on the solid gold poles, the bed itself custom made exactly right for her diminutive height and laid out in softest of sheets, the cream quilts hand made with tiny stitching, the wood tables were customized and inlayed with gold and bronze, the smooth marble expanse stopped half way through the room and cut into the wood flooring around her bed in a stretch of darkest umber with a large white fur rug spanning underneath the bed in lush white billowing quality.

By the far east-were her small feet found comfort on the cool marble-was her large dressing table with three stools-one much lower than the rest and cushioned in pale emerald velvet and this was the one she sat on while her handmaidens tended to her. She never really used the dresser save to place her food or drink on it-always forgetting to place a coaster on the expensive varnished wood and subsequently littering the left side in stained ringlets that her exclusive handmaiden had to sand of and re-varnish over at the end of each month least the Lady Bei Fong 'burst a blood cell'. Her excuse would always be 'she couldn't _see_ any coaster' in any case, a much better variation from the truth 'I can't be bothered'.

On the west was her sitting area-which was the size of a middle class families lounge with ridiculously elegant day beds and couches surrounding two ottomans and placed neatly over a golden soft rug with little red mahogany side tables. This was were she was having breakfast with her mother when what she really wanted to be doing was training hard and releasing her nerves and fear at the arrival of Zuko. Illogical unwarranted unease, she chanted-trying to pay attention to the many musings her mother was breathing about the silly Ball-murmuring about Kuei's son-Takeshi.

Her mother was the epitome of 'busy rich house wife'; never sitting still although they marshalled an army of workers and handmaidens on their estate, waking up at the crack of dawn when she didn't have to worry about money and when it came to décor…

Toph Bei Fong was convinced her mother had a secret fetish-after her obsession with Toph's wardrobe, make-up and hair of course. It was all lost on her of course behind the thin electronic lines she saw with her strange and wonderful sight of curtain fabrics bustling lightly over the ground or the weird perforated four dimensional stillness wood gave her-chairs and tables; it was all lost on her but like all other things involving common everyday sight that was denied to her, she tried to understand it.

She listened-well, half listened-when her mother went on about jade greens and rich cream samples she had found in Ba Sing Sei but the one silly décor that managed to pique her attention somewhat was when her mother went on about how _daring _she was being in changing the colour scheme (seriously, why talk about colour schemes to someone who didn't even know what the colour of darkness was). Apparently adding orange as an accent was considered a seditious turn in the art of decor in the Earth Nation because orange was a colour of Fire (heavens forbid you appear to be supporting the Fire Nation in your home décor). The accent colour in question that her mother had brought to her and waved in her face-because she would _smell _the orange colour wafting through the air possibly and feel the thrill of doing something so _dangerous-_was a throw cushion for the games room. A single throw cushion that was orange amongst a pile of variations of greens, creams and browns was _revolutionary_ it seemed_._

"You are such a rebel" she had murmured to her mother who missed her dry tone and giggled.

"I know" Poppy giggled. "Do you think the Fire Lord will notice the effort?"

"If he doesn't…" she sighed. "I'll throw the cushion in his face; he won't miss your _effort_ then"

Lady Bei Fong blanched at that, surveying Toph's detached eyes intensely and praying that at any moment her daughter would chuckle and tell her it was joke.

"Err…"Poppy stammered. "It's time to do your hair"

"Will I be going to the hairdressers, or is she coming here?" Toph sighed.

"I thought I would do it" Poppy laughed uneasily, Toph's never desisting moodiness working on her patience. She had promised her husband she would allow the Ball to be _Toph's_ and not her own… but her lack of interest was grating her with each second. She was going to be a princess, she had the Avatar and Fire Lord attending her ball not to mention the Water Tribe Chief… she had all the prominent figures of the world gathering around her and on top of it all she was breathtaking. Her daughter _with_ her blindness and against all the gossip of other Noble women was _breathtaking. _A beauty nearly impossible to be matched-and it only lasted the singular day Toph allowed her to dress her up and do her make up. It only lasted that one day when Toph managed not to slip into boyish clothes and have her hair hiding what she considered the jewel of the Bei Fong house-Toph's captivating face. 

"What do you say Toph" Poppy whispered playfully, ignoring Toph's scowl. "A girl's day, hmm… You have no idea how _excited _I am about Ursa…"

"You know Ursa?" Toph asked, forgetting she had sworn to be sullen to get her mother to behave-her voice rising from its grouchiness to obvious interest.

"Yes, of course I know her…"Poppy said haughtily, her pursed lips pouting further at the realisation that Toph sounded in awe. "I attended her baby shower for the Fire Lord-but I was barely just married to your father then and…"

"You saw Zuko as a child?" Toph cut her.

"Well, yes… and that _daughter _of hers" Poppy whinged. "She was always vile even as a child"  
>"Have I ever been around them…"<p>

"No" Poppy interrupted her swiftly. "You were too small and sickly…"

"And blind" Toph said coolly. "Yes, you kept me away for my safety"  
>They remained in silence for a few minutes, Poppy wringing her hands gently over each other and peering at Toph's passive face-the edges of her bubbling joy at having a 'Girl's Day' fading away at the memory of her hiding her little girl.<p>

"I sent a letter to Ursa that you and I were having a Girl's Day" she said softly, watching Toph's pout stubbornly and waiting for it to fade, praying she would murmur the right words soon "I invited her and Azula"

"Azula would like that" Toph sighed, relaxing a bit.

"And then we can show case our beauty talent at dinner" Poppy giggled, releasing a breath of tenseness when Toph smiled a little. "Your father would like that… he worries I behave like a tyrant when it comes to these things"  
>"You do"<p>

"No matter" Poppy murmured hurriedly over the comment. "Let's go prepare the Beautyrooms and then when Ursa and her daughter arrive we can call the beautician to bring in her samples for us"  
>"Why can't we just go into the city and buy them" Toph groaned. "I would like some fresh…"<br>"Princesses don't go heckling in the market!"Poppy breathed, her little hand going over her chest and casting Toph a reproachful look. "I can't have Ursa thinking I deliberately condone your behaviour, running around like you were raised in a cave"

"You know, funnily…" Toph laughed. "Ursa was practically living in a cave till recently"

"That isn't the point"  
>"Then what is the point mother?"<br>"Don't talk back" Poppy grumbled. "It is unlady like, now go make sure the maids have prepared the guest rooms, I have convinced King Kuei to let me host the Fire Lord and his family-he will of course bring in security for that _daughter_ of Ursa's"  
>"Azula <em>isn't<em> a threat" Toph growled, ignoring the lump that had situated itself in her throat that her eager mother had invited the King of Disrupting her Control to coincide in her space.

"Oh, no…" Poppy Laughed. "Protection _for _Ursa's daughter, there have been a few murmurs around that her arrival has enraged a lot of war veterans"

"Right" Toph said tersely. "And her name is _Azula_-not Ursa's daughter"

Xx~xx~xX

"You must be excited for the spa treatment although I am not sure how or why we are to do it on our _own _when there are government workers on payroll for _that_-or don't you have personal maids? No matter… Your hair is most beautiful…" Azula breathed, her pale fingered disappearing into Toph's thick black hair and leaving four smooth partings in the wave. "But mine is _apex_"

"In your little world it is" Toph snorted-Poppy tensing when Azula scowled first before smiling a little.

"In my Grand world…"Azula breathed letting Toph's hair fall and sitting next to her fluidly. "Your hair would be perfect for making _extensions_ for old women"  
>"Touché" Toph laughed. "But in reality, your hair is perfect for creating a lovely length of rope"<p>

"Good come back" Azula said nodding her head a little. "But… I should have you know… something very _important _about this _hair_ of mine"  
>"What?"<p>

"It is exactly the same type of hair on Z-" Azula began but was interrupted by a violent nudge to the ribs that almost toppled her of her seat. "The hell you little urchin...!"

"Sorry" Toph said innocently. "What were you saying?"  
>"I was saying that my hair is exactly…" Azula began, watching as Toph retracted her little elbow positioning it for another violent jab, and quickly jumped out of the way screaming "Exactly like Zuko's hair!"<p>

"Don't you mean exactly like your fathers hair" Ursa sighed, ignoring Poppy's disapproving look. "Ozai had very thick hair, it was most unfair for any man to have that amount of hair… that's were Zuko and Azula get it from. Not that my own hair isn't… anyway"

"When did they become so…"Poppy murmured to Ursa, trying to hide her flinching at the mention of 'Ozai's' name and how casual the manner in which it was dropped was. "Chummy"

"Beats me" Ursa chuckled pulling out the uninteresting robes they were to wear for their disguise on their adventure into the market of Gaoling-something Poppy and Azula had shared cagey feelings of doing when they had been bossed into submitting by a formidable Toph and Ursa. "I found them like that"

Xx~xx~xX

The cool breeze moving lethargically over the land lulled everything into a hypnotised form of relaxation, the trees swaying delicately through the slow moving air, the very atmosphere of the farming land they passed was filled with content and a hidden invaluable peace. She could feel it in the air, smell the honey promise of an easy getaway in every molecule and understood it in the soft sighs of the birds.

The carriage bumbled over the cobbled dry road slowly, Ursa and Poppy talking hurriedly in swift murmurs and she was sure it was about the Ball. Everything was about the Ball-except the quite little farming area outside the market with its farm animals and soft rich earth.

"Do you have a date?" Azula asked her softly.

"No, I don't need a date Azula" she sighed, rolling her head on the soft panel by the window. "It's my ball; men come there to vie for me or whatever… suitors and such"

"Oh" Azula breathed, leaning back into her seat and twisting the robe she wore lightly. "Zuko has no date"  
>"He doesn't need to have one" Toph grumbled. She found it ironic that Azula-with her love for weaponry, tactful fighting and deductive combat fell prey so easily to the allure of shiny silly pointless balls.<p>

"Did you not have a Ball when you were my age?" Toph asked.

"When I was your age I was setting out to take over the world" Azula said in fake grandiosity "Not worrying about _balls_"  
>"Right"<p>

"When I was you age I was _married_…" she continued, her voice pitching in the way it did when she got lost in her chaos. "I was Fire Lord and I…"

"What?" Ursa hissed.

"What _what_" Azula breathed quietly, looking away from them all when she realised that her ranting had actually had an audience.

"You said…"

"I said _nothing_" she hissed her eyes flashing and nostrils flaring. "Go back to your conversation _mother_"

"Azula…"Toph said slowly, reaching her hand over Azula's hot one.

"I said nothing" she whispered in small far away voice, leaning away from Toph but allowing her hand to cool under Toph's stronger smaller hand.

"I said nothing"

Xx~xx~xX

It was fairly easy to move away from Poppy's uncomfortable controlling herding in the market. She justified it by highlighting the point that Ursa seemed to be grateful for female companionship that included someone of the same age and Poppy seemed eager to give tips on how to manage stubborn rebellious but still beautiful daughters.

"Where are we going?" Azula asked dryly. "I hate the atmosphere in your Nation"  
>"It hates you too" Toph snapped, tugging Azula through the crowd easily. "Keep your hood up…"<p>

"It's hot"  
>"People don't really like you here, Azula" she sighed impatiently and Azula laughed sardonically.<p>

"Point me to a Nation were they _do _like me…"Azula laughed "And I'll… I'll treat your oily hair"

"My hair isn't oily" Toph sighed.

"You don't know that little blind girl" she laughed, looking around the bustling cramped area that they had emerged into-which was starkly different to the upmarket side shops in the shaded street they had left Ursa and Poppy.

"Why would I let you near my hair…?" Toph scoffed. "You haven't _ever_ shampooed your own hair"

"Like you have ever done that with your own hair, little Miss Multi-Million Trust Fund" Azula snarled by Toph's ear and Toph glowered at the wall approaching their path.

"Actually…" Toph said coolly "I have… and I know what flowers, fruits and…"

"No one cares for your quickeasy witches brew to _great hair_, Urchin" Azula murmured cutting Toph swiftly, closing her eyes with calculated haughtiness and folding her arms over her chest.

"You are _intolerable_" Toph growled, pausing her trekking.

"You _equally_ so" Azula countered, standing beside Toph and staring at the wall they were in front of in confusion.

"I guess it cancels each other out" Toph grinned, cocking her head slightly in Azula's direction-who was having difficulty keeping her smile at bay.

"Were does that leave us?" Azula asked.

"Acquaintances?" Toph tried.

"Hmm" Azula breathed. "Acquaintances of the Highest Order"

Xx~xx~xX

She braced herself once and pushed her hands up-her expression slightly bored to the intricate robust movement she had performed that Azula regarded with detached interest. The wall trembled once; dust seeping through the invisible edges and billowing out into the dark alleyway Toph had let them too before sliding up easily and revealing an eerie entrance.

"What is this" Azula said carefully, trying to peer through the unsettled cloud of dust that had replaced the wall. "Were have you brought me, Urchin?"  
>"Relax" Toph sighed, walking slowly towards the uncertain path. "I haven't lured you to your death as yet…"<p>

"So then…" Azula breathed but then she heard it; soft sounds of many feet and machinery, cages and metal clanking ominously and voices shouting freely.

"It's like an arena" Toph whispered, reaching her hand behind her which Azula took in a daze, and leading them through the dimming light. "Not really a wrestling place like the one I used to fight in…"

"_Of course_ you would have dabbled in wrestling" Azula murmured, squinting her eyes in the dark passage, then jumping slightly when the wall shut behind them with a resounding thump.

"I mean… its kind of _gruesome_" Toph continued in awe, pausing a little and murmuring "Watch your step, there is waste littering this ground"

"Waste like…"  
>"Like animal crap" Toph chuckled, manoeuvring them to walk along the wall.<p>

"Animal…"

"I just thought that we could have a little proper _fun _before frosty toes arrives and demands we give our lives to charity as my birthday present" Toph sighed. "Or quotes animal rights to me. I figured you don't even care for _human_ rights so this won't bug you…"

"Frosty toes…?" Azula breathed, cutting Toph's excited babbling.  
>"The Avatar's Ice Queen" Toph said absently. "The one who sprinkled holy water all over your head to heal you"<p>

"It wasn't holy water…"  
>"After it reached your head" Toph snickered "The entrance should be fast approaching…"<br>"Hmm" Azula squinted and saw the little square patch reaching out to the expanse of greyish brown shadows surrounding them.

"Yeah" Toph breathed, her excitement fuelling Azula's unease. "We should have a good two hours of watching some great beasts slashing and tearing! I do prefer Earth Bending tournaments but only if I am _in them_…"

"You are really getting worked up about this"

"You have no idea" she grinned, releasing Azula's hand and walking into the light, reappearing in a large underground stadium which was half filled and surrounding a grand square caged platform many feet bellow.

"I live for this!"

"You can't mean that" Azula frowned.

"It's an expression _obviously_, witchy" Toph frowned. "Now get your game face on and prepare your self to bet _all_ your market money on some ruthless beast!"

"You can't even see…"  
>"Argh!" Toph grumbled sitting down theatrically next to a fat large man and stomping her foot on the solid rock floor. "When everyone sits down to watch, I will see perfectly… now stop talking and logickifying our fun, sit your ass down and pull out your money dammit!"<p>

"Logickifying isn't a word, Urchin"

"_Seriously_? Argh, shut up and keep your pompous face hidden, witchy-I don't think my mother would appreciate me running of and causing mayhem with an _undesirable_" Toph sighed wearily "Or if you want, show your face and end up pet food for Kujo the Monster Kangaroo-Python"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"That is quite the tale" King Kuei breathed, leaning back on his custom made seat, the head board peering over his head. "Quite the tale indeed, Toph told us about it when she was here for dinner…"  
>"Hmm" I busied myself with a glass of juice, surveying it like it was liquid gold floating in a crystal glass instead of plain old mango-leech.<p>

"Takeshi especially found the part about the panther-lions intriguing" King Kuei breathed, smiling at Iroh. "He badgered Toph about details on that… she is very patient with him you know"

"She is a patient soul" Iroh chuckled, nudging me in the ribs when I wouldn't put my glass down and acknowledge Takeshi's skinny form opposite me. "Isn't she patient…?"  
>"How big were the cats" Takeshi asked cutting Iroh, leaning forward on the table with his hands clasped in front of him. "Of course Toph's detail is limited because she is <em>blind<em>…"

The glass broke with a sharp clear smash in my hand, shards flying around my forward perimeter and the juice spraying over my gown and pooling over the table. He pushed back in his chair, large eyes staring unbelievingly from my confused form to his father before I heard Uncle's desperate calls for a maid.

"Uh… I apologise…" I breathed, leaning away from the mess and surveying my cut hand, the blood oozing thickly from the inside of the base of my thumb. "I guess I was holding it to tight"

"You think!" Takeshi laughed "I damn near saw the…"

"Language Takeshi" Kuei breathed in worn out impatience-I could imagine how many times he had had to say that.

"I saw the cracks" Takeshi finished. "Do you have a wound?"

"Uhm…" I put my hand out and let the girl clean the wound, dipping it in a bowl of something that smelt powerfully like sweet disinfectant.

"Does that sting?" he continued in his fast way of talking, his young eyes gazing up at me with intrigue. "You know these glasses don't break easily, watch…"

The next thing Takeshi, the Prince of the Earth Nation did was rise from his chair, ignoring his fathers groaning and apologies and raising his own glass in the air. It glimmered in the light momentarily, the gold ring painted on the lip of the glass blinking as he held it clumsily above his head and into the stray ray of sunlight.

"Watch, Fire Lord Zuko…" he breathed, moving back and smiling at his father who tolerated his antics with mild acceptance-King Kuei looking over to Iroh and muttering how he has been most worked up since Toph returned. "Easily Excitable young man, but that's how they are when they are in love… eh, Iroh" he breathed and I kept my eyes fixed on the skinny young man, his every youthful glee vexing me exponentially.

He threw the glass on the ground, were it bounced once-in the direction of a servant who jumped out of its way and then it rolled a few feet of. Takeshi signalled for the young man to retrieve the glass for him with an awkward wave.

"Look…" he chuckled, walking over to me, his eyes trained on my now bandaged eye with wonder. "Only a crack and that's marble my Goodman…"

"Goodman?" I muttered, feeling my face twist into a frown-Iroh nudging me a little more violently in the ribs this time. "Oh, yes…"  
>"I am going to train and be as strong as <em>that<em>" he smiled, pleased with his goal. "Maybe you can train me…"

"I thought Toph's training was going well" Iroh asked uneasily.

"Oh, that's for _Earth Bending_" he sighed and then his tone took on a nauseating wistfulness. "She is the best Earth Bender ever to be born…"

"Yes" Uncle chuckled, busying himself with his roasted baby chicken-rabbit. "She is"

"I hope you made the necessary preparations with your… sister" Kuei breathed. "I have done all I can do. It would be most undesired if something were to happen"  
>"Its been taken care of" I breathed staring as the white bandage stained slightly with crimson, my voice coming out hard and grating and mind spinning at the surreal situation that had played out before me.<p>

"Everything is fine" I whispered, ignoring Takeshi's insistent chatter-ignoring that his skin had cleared somewhat and the fact that he was skinny didn't mean anything if he was almost as tall as I was and determined to be trained in the art of hand to hand combat (he had time to fill out his frame), crown prince and more irksomely-_entirely_ infatuated with Toph.

Not that any of these things were a problem to me. maybe some other suitor out there who didn't know she was taken and the Ball was just formalities...

"It's _all good_" Takeshi laughed, ignorant to his fathers embarrassment, Uncle's uneasy devouring of his meal and my cold form; content in his own world were he was _betrothed _to a great Earth Bender and training to be equally as great. "As the kids would say…"

"I have to go change" I mumbled, pushing out of my chair and waving weakly to Kuei. "I will see you when then…?"  
>"Dinner time is upon us" Kuei sighed, his face tired. "We will make our way to Lady Bei Fongs… she is most formidable when one is late. You can take your time Fire Lord Zuko…"<br>"A bath to cool off" Iroh murmured and I scowled petulantly at him.

"I will see you then, at the coaches" I murmured, walking away and flexing my stinging thumb.

I had not even challenged the boy in combat and he had managed to inflict a wound…

Not that I was challenging him. There was no challenge. Or competition. He was of no competition, if there was one to be had… which there wasn't.

"Where is the Bath?" I growled at the servant boy and he jumped, spluttering and leading me to a diverging path from the one I had been trumping along.

Xx~xx~xX

It is important I strengthen ties with the King, Uncle murmured. It is important I tolerate the boy, he pleaded. He likes you Zuko, he chuckled.

"Please ride in the coach with him" Iroh begged, resting his hands on his expansive stomach. "He wants to hear about your adventures with Toph before we arrive at the Bei Fongs and as your advisor…"  
>"You are advising me to jump in the coach with him?" I asked arching an eyebrow and chuckled nervously.<p>

"Well yes…" Iroh murmured.

"You want me to be alone with that… Prince in a coach" I said slowly and he blanched momentarily before smiling slyly-my threat not sticking.

"No worries" Iroh laughed, shuffling of to 'catch up' with his Earth Nation friends. "You will be travelling with Aang, the lovely Katara and I hear Sokka managed to make it. Hurry along now, all of them are highly interested in your tales on the elusive Island you were stranded on"

Xx~xx~xX 

My only saviour was the ride into Gaoling was short lived from King Kuei's estate. It didn't stop the trip from being a living hell. In some twisted form of amusement from Agni; Takeshi seemed to be a young version of Sokka and the two were formidable together on their quest to have me committed for murder…

"Wait…" Sokka breathed. "You were in a skirt?"

"It was a _sheet_" I hissed. "It was the only thing available for Azula to cover me with in her cell"

"And I still can believe you kept Azula's existence from me!" Sokka yelled, looking to Katara for support who nudged closer to Aang in guilt. "Aren't we like… best friends?"  
>"You are best friends with the Fire Lord Zuko?" Takeshi murmured his eyes large and disbelieving on Sokka's smug face.<p>

"Yes" Sokka breathed haughtily.

"No" I groaned, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. "He is not"  
>"Who is your best friend?" Takeshi asked.<p>

"You are very interested in the Fire Lord Zuko" Katara laughed shakily. "Uhm, does Toph talk of him… a lot… to you?"  
>I stiffened; not once had I considered his insistent ramblings a by-product of that. It seemed unlikely, it seemed impossible that Toph would mention me and yet my insides twisted involuntarily for his response, hearing his yes before he murmured it…<p>

"No" he said frowning instead and I frowned along with him.

"So why do you keep…!" I began, my voice rising and Aang coughed indicatively.

"She just said how she and Azula escaped the Fire Nation lands to the island… were you built a raft" he said thoughtfully, recalling what he was told. "And that you found your mother. Oh, and the bit about the giant cats and the warship"

"Was that all…?" I pressed, leaning forward and ignoring Aang's fidgeting and unsubtle signals for me to drop it. "Did she say…?"

"No" Takeshi sighed. "Toph doesn't describe things well, as you probably know"

"Hmm" I muttered, glaring out to the setting sun.

"So your interest…?" Katara pressed. "Ignore him, he is always grouchy"

"You are her friends" Takeshi said softly, and in an airy awe-struck tone he reserved for anything to do with Toph "And Fire Lord Zuko brought her back, didn't he. He sort of saved her…"  
>"I guess he did" Aang sighed winking at me. "A regular hero"<p>

"Humph" Sokka scoffed. "I still can't believe you kept all of this from me!"

"What were you going to do if you were told?" Katara asked.

"I was going to…" Sokka paused, placing a finger on his chin. "It matters not, Takeshi, let me tell you about the time _I _saved Toph from drowning…"  
>"Suki did that not you" I grumbled.<br>"Suki and I are one under the sacrilege of marriage!" Sokka hissed. "Now, stop interrupting me… Now where was I, oh yes… there she was drowning, the formidable blind bandit…"

"Its sanctity not sacrilege" I whispered to myself, the memory of Mai scowling goodbye at me already fading as we neared the Bei Fong estate.

Xx~xx~xX

The estate has changed.

Or maybe it has not because I have come when the sun is still peeping over the horizon and casting everything in nuances of orange and shimmering green. They walk ahead of me, calmly and free while I move slowly behind them watching their effortlessness with jealousy. Watching as they take to Takeshi-who is much younger than all of us-with little thought to the action when they were reluctant to accept me; the fact that I had chased them around the world prior to that surely should hold no bargain to becoming lifetime comrades?

Furious at how easy he talks to Sokka and understands his cryptic jokes or at how Katara thinks he is so 'sweet' because he didn't allow the servant boy to open the door for her and rushed over to do it himself and garnered a wise saying from Aang "Humility brings wealth and honour and life"

I was to hypnotized by Takeshi that I had missed the fact that I had just walked into the Bei Fong house-that I was seconds from seeing Toph…it took Lady Bei Fongs eerie resemblance to her daughter to awake me from my frowning paranoia that Prince Takeshi sought to steal everything from me with his naïve wide eyes and eagerness to learn.

"Fire Lord!" she breathed, welcoming me in "It is so good to have you here"  
>"It is good to be here" I muttered, searching for her over the heads of the still standing guests and not caring to look at Poppy again.<p>

"Let me introduce you to the other guests" she whispered her eyes wide and excited. I allowed her to lead me around the room, praying to Agni that anyone of the women with black hair was her, any short form belonged to her and contradicting myself when I prayed I wouldn't have to speak to her. My emotions overlapping and fighting each other between determination, rigid fear and anxiety.

"We may head into the lounge shortly…" Lady Bei Fong murmured leaving me and waving her hand elegantly for the attention of her guests. "But first dinner, were it is customary for the friends and relatives to vote on an activity for the birthday girl to enjoy before the ball. Toph will join her friends in the game room after that" 

Xx~xx~xX

"She would like something to do with training" I murmured, downing the glass of wine and waving for the maiden to refill it.

"Training?" Poppy asked bewildered and then shrunk away when I looked at her. "That is an option…"  
>"I think the Fire Lord is right" Takeshi murmured conveniently positioning him self opposite me on the dinner table and agreeing with <em>everything <em>I had said. "She would like that… a tournament?"

"Exactly!" Katara breathed. "I can see her enjoying that!"

"But this is a Ball…" Poppy laughed uneasily. "It should be something fun, clean and _lady like…_"

"No, it should be messy and dirty" Aang said thoughtfully before adding a monk-democratic "But we can have towels at the ready"

"She cannot participate, obviously…" Poppy laughed. "She just had her spa treatment with the Fire Princess… her hair is too…"

"Oh, that would kill her to have to watch!" Sokka laughed. "Something to do with _down and dirty_ and she has to stay out of it?"

"Well…"Takeshi said thoughtfully. "If it is a tournament… why doesn't she get to choose _one_ opponent at least, that way she is _involved_. What do you say, Fire Lord"  
>"Sounds good" I breathed, sipping my wine a little slower and hating his loveable youthful sin free self. "Very good idea, Takeshi…"<p>

"So you will organise it then, General Iroh has unexpected?" Poppy asked our little group of 'Toph's Only Friends Somewhat her Age'.

"Uhm…" Katara murmured, looking around us and frowning when I gave up pretence that I wasn't trying to get drunk and downed the wine "I will… Aang and I…"  
>"I have a few things to take care of with Iroh and Bumi" Aang whispered to her and she sighed.<p>

"I'll organise it with…" Katara hesitated looking around our group for a potential candidate and ignoring Sokka's 'Pick Me's'.

"Do it with Azula" I said eventually and a still silence fell on everyone. "Oh, _Agni deliver us_… Aang, tell them how much better she has gotten. She will love this, she loves Toph…"

I exhaled sharply and sighed.

"She _likes_ Toph enough that this will mean something" I sighed. "Just… do it Katara"

"I don't… she is…"

"She wont bite" I laughed but she wasn't convinced. "Okay… she won't bite _much_, better yet… let Toph decide that"

"Yeah" Katara said confidently "We'll let Toph decide that too"

"Oh, the many options" Sokka sighed theatrically. "Your dear sweet brother Sokka or Zuko's crazy psycho sister"

"Toph likes Azula" Takeshi murmured, sipping his juice and smiling at me. "She talks about her a lot… how _brilliant_ she is. I mean, I know obviously the… uh, history behind that but wasn't Fire Lord Zuko despised at one point? Look at us sitting here now…"

"You drive a hard bargain there, kid" Sokka muttered. "But you haven't seen the lovely Fire Lord Zuko pissed as yet and in roaring action, trust me when I say you will run away-I know I did… so don't make any hasty character decisions when it comes to a Fire Nation Royal. They burn… literally"

"And this is why Zuko tells you things last" Katara sighed.

"What did I say?" Sokka yelled at her. "He agrees with me, don't you Zuko old buddy?"

"Prudence" I said before rising swiftly from the table. "I will go wait in the games room, thank you Poppy"

"Of course" she murmured confused. "Fire Lord…"

"What the hell did he mean by _prudence_?" Sokka spluttered behind me. "Is that some girl…?"

Xx~xx~xX

Irrationality.

I had sworn to be in control, but my grab on control wasn't enough for the many emotions being here brought out in me. it would have been so much easier if the boy was either hateable or forgettable… it would be easier if I didn't have the vivid imagination of how easily it would be for Toph to accept him, to care for him and worse love him.

The night air is cool and they remain in the dining room; excited about this Ball and taken with their new comrade. Isn't this what I wanted; peace and acceptance to fall between the Earth Nation and the Fire Nation-how painfully obvious it was to me that Takeshi and I could achieve that if he were to proceed after his father one day. The greatest allies alongside the Avatar; the true redemption of the Fire Nation.

And yet there it was that gnawing feeling in me-that seduction of the dark side of me to throw it all to the wind and grab a piece of happiness I had never ever felt in my life. That I would never feel again if I permitted this piece.

"Zuko?"

"Toph?" I gasped, peering into the darkness of the small balcony outside the games room. "I didn't see you…"

"I didn't see you too" she laughed nervously.

There was silence then, the sound of the soft wind moving through the large thick branches of the trees in front fuelling our unease, my shifting form glancing maniacally inside the warm lit games room.

"Azula and Ursa have joined the dinner table" she said suddenly.

"Uh, okay" I breathed.

"Why aren't you there?" she asked, taking a step forward slowly-I took one back.

"I needed fresh air" I muttered, watching as she emerged in the light-more beautiful than I had seen her last. "You know how they can be when they are all together under one roof"

"Hmm" she murmured, smoothing her pale lime robe and tilting her head towards me. I looked away quickly but my chivalry only lasted a moment before my eyes returned to their crude obsession.

She wasn't in anything form fitting like I had expected from the last dinner we had formally; the gown flowed gently and hid her feet but it couldn't hide the one thing that could cause the undoing of many a man underneath it-her curves.

"You are staring" she whispered.

"You are beautiful" I breathed. "You are lovely…"

"Are you drunk?" she asked. "You smell like a brewery"  
>"It's a celebration" I grumbled. "I am celebrating…"<p>

"A funeral?" she asked lightly her eyes wide, opaque and disarming. Her skin flawless and smooth and her hair parted precisely in the middle and falling in onyx silk curtains on either side of her face.

"It could be" I murmured slightly dazed as my eyes fell to her lips. "That Takeshi is irritating me to death…"

She froze then, frowning slightly before smoothing her expression.

"He can be overzealous" she sighed. "But if you give him a chance…"  
>"He is irritating" I said with unnecessary vindictiveness. "He thinks he is going to rule the world…"<p>

"Such is the nature of _Princes_" she laughed.

"I don't like him, Toph"

"No one cares what you like, Zuko" she countered swiftly.

"You cared once"

"Don't delude your self" she hissed.

"I bet you still do…" I whispered taking a step forward towards her causing her to back away until the rail of the balcony permitted her no more room and I invaded her space adamantly, inhaling her scent. "I bet you care because he is a boy…Toph. What would you do with a _boy…_?"

"I don't know" she hissed stubbornly. "Love him maybe…"

"He is pathetic" I scoffed, gulping the last of my wine and throwing the glass over the balcony. "He is only good for pitying…"

"He is only young and by that only a year younger than I!" she snarled.

"He is a boy…" I chuckled and her eyes flashed violently.

"For only two more years"

"We can hurry those years Toph…" I whispered to her and she shuddered, pushing me back violently.

"They are making their way into the games room" she snapped moving away from me swiftly. "I would much rather you stay here and jump of the balcony…"

"Only if you join me" I laughed.

Xx~xx~xX

"… so Zuko and I…"

"No Takeshi, it was all you my Goodman" I chuckled and Aang poked my leg roughly.

"Could you…" he began and then took a whiff of the air around my face "Are you drunk?"  
>"In theory, no" I murmured.<p>

"Do not embarrass your Nation" he hissed, grey eyes glinting angrily.

"Look" I sighed "I am not drunk… just tittering on the bridge between controlled actions and abrupt…"  
>"Thank you <em>Toph<em>" Takeshi exclaimed and Aang and I paused our passive arguing in surprise, looking around the room at everyone.

"What?" Aang asked Katara.

"Toph chose Takeshi…" she whispered. "Isn't that sweet… when he chooses to fight against you Aang, go easy on him"

"No…" I hissed at Aang. "Go into the Avatar State on him!"

"No, I won't do that Zuko…" Aang sighed. "He is what, eighteen and barely there with his earth bending…"

"It was a joke" I muttered.

"You and Azula should stay away from humour" he said amusedly.  
>"Fire Lord Zuko" Takeshi announced.<p>

"Huh?" I mumbled, widening my eyes in search of him. he stood underneath the burning glare of the light from the chandelier, beaming at me.

"Would you bat-" he began.

"Absolutely not!" Katara and Toph said simultaneously.

"Weren't the rules such that the opponent cannot back track his decision?" Azula murmured lazily from the chaise, her eyes holding a sadistic glee. "Or should we call in Lady Bei Fong and let her know we are conducting the Ball all wishy-washy"  
>"Whose side are you on!" Toph hissed at her.<p>

"The _wild _side" Azula chuckled winking at me. "Takeshi… please finish your statement?"

"I would like to battle Fire Lord Zuko" he murmured smiling at me and I reached for my wine glass but was meant with empty air, Aang had moved it quietly.

"I would love to, Takeshi" I breathed frowning at Aang's innocent expression.

"Properly, like a true warrior" Takeshi murmured. "I have neared my training…"

"No you haven't" Toph spluttered. "There is a whole chapter on…"  
>"Moving mountains" Azula snickered.<p>

"What were the rules!" Toph asked quickly. "I choose the first opponent, he chooses his opponent and…"

"An opponent can replace himself with someone else" Azula murmured. "Was I the only one playing attention to the battle plans?"  
>"They are not battle plans Azula" Katara said softly-timidly. "Its only game plans"<br>"What's the difference" Azula laughed. "Someone not-so-anonymous is going to die regardless…"  
>"No one is going to die" Toph breathed-sitting back down calmly.<p>

"And why is that?" I asked suspiciously, ignoring Takeshi's puzzled look.

"Wouldn't you like to know, Sparky" she laughed sardonically. "Give the Fire Lord more wine… it's a celebration not a _funeral_, after all"

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I hope you are all happy to have the Gaang back! **

**I had thought about getting Zuko smashed at first, but it seemed too much of a stretch in his character. So we let him be a little tipsy, daring and a slight jerk here.**

**Thank you for all the story alerts, favourites, reviews and such! Ghost readers loved as well but remember its never too late to be heard!**

**RESPONSES**

**I saw what you meant there , about him appearing weak and it caught me of guard because I really hadn't realised that it could be taken like that. Hmm, something for me to think about as the story goes on… and I think it bothers Zuko too ;)**

**Uhm, well… about the mature loving thing; we'll cross that bridge when we get there-now that everyone is legal and whatnot, hehehehe.**

**Loves**

**Tj.**

**Next chapter one eight complete.**


	32. Reckless

**RECKLESS**

**What is now reason was formerly impulse or instinct-Ovid**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

Xx~xx~xX

She wasn't one for mistakes and once she made one she always sought to correct it. Such was the case with Mai's pregnancy and her own indignation that Zuko's _fiancé _thought they would all accept things without question.

Her own indignation when her family had accepted things with little question. A parting gift before her travels to the Earth Nation was what she thought of it rather than a _warning_ to Mai...

"So it's Zuko's?" she had asked her.

She watched as Mai began to quiver like the last leaf on a dying tree before dropping the shaking cup of tea by her feet; the liquid seeping through the rug immediately.

"Who else..." she tried but stopped her petulant defence immediately when she met Azula's eyes.

Azula knew, she thought. Azula always knows...

"Your mother had always been reckless in her drive for..." Azula paused, placing a long manicured finger on her chin contemplatively "_Importance in the World_. Yes, let's call it that"

Mai scoffed, placing her hands in her lap and clenching them. It was important she remain poised and detached in the face of this shrewd predator whose instincts were perpetually at the ready.

"Your mother is the vermin in this" Azula continued, pushing further and carefully taking a seat adjacent to Mai. "A rat-frog if you may"  
>"You are more of a squirrel-pigeon" Azula said airily "Skittish, suspicious cowardly creature... but never out to intentionally harm anything. You fear being harmed instead"<p>

"Your point" Mai hissed

"The only way you could have raped my brother" Azula said dryly "Is if you and him had a mutual agreement to conduct a simultaneous rape on each other. And if you did as you say you did and drugged him, Kuya couldn't have very well been there to witness your _bravery_-so with no Kuya watching you to ensure you followed through..."

"My mother has nothing to do with Zuko and I's affairs" Mai said with a desperate sort of vehemence "I thought he would die, he would leave me before we were able to consummate our love..."

"What would you do then" Azula said calmly ignoring Mai's statement, turning slightly to glance at Mai's prominent belly "What would you do then to ensure you _appeared_ to follow the plan, Mai"

"What was necessary" Mai breathed.

"Your love for Zuko leaves you weak and drained, always in the end" Azula said in disgust "Love is supposed to be equal and strong between two people... so the poets tell us. Your love for Zuko will never be equal, because you Mai... are not strong enough to withstand such passion from him and he knows it deep down inside him"

Mai was silent then, a single tear escaping the red rim of her eyes and spilling over her high cheek bones.

"Your reckless pathetic love has cost Kuya... in the near future, I suppose. I am not sure whether that's sooner or later" Azula sighed in a bored tone "I have to go pack, I have a ball to attend"

"Don't stress Mai" she finished leaving the room "It's not good for the baby and I really want to be there for the birth. I hope for your sake he has Zuko's eyes..."

Xx~xx~xX

The garden is lush and green and she hates to admit that the expansive range of flowers give it more colour than their palace garden. They are Earth Nation gardeners after all-the best in the world. She walks slow and deliberate, glancing at everything with diminutive awareness outwardly but internally matching and comparing it to the Fire Nation garden ornaments. She was a little jealous of the first level garden and had a feeling that she would be awestruck the moment she reached the end of the little section and glanced at the Bei Fong's expansive grounds.

There are lanterns lined out on the little paved path dug into the ground and surrounded by green matted lawn. It's day time so they are not lighted but she can imagine the peaceful tranquillity exuded under the sun being intensified by the mystic night and stars gave.

Toph had grown up in a hidden peace but was not given the vision to know it, Azula thought. The irony Agni gave to life.

It was as though she was alone in heaven-the bumbling idiot Zuko had assigned to watch over her was easily ignorable in his distance. How he managed to make noise over the soft lawn was beside her, his anxious breathing alerting her that he was not up to he task and not enjoying it one bit. She smiled at that; he was terrified of being found out and that fear was what had actually made him evident to her-whether her senses were acute or not.

Peace...

It had seemed so interwoven with war. It had seemed only attainable through war... and it was, wasn't it? You can only have Peace through Violent unrest. When was she going to have her peace, she thought.

If Peace was achieved by overthrowing an oppressor, when would she have the luxury of overthrowing her _oppressor_? How could a being rule over you when they were not in your sights, not near you... in the shadows and supposed to be easily forgotten?

How so... and it was that very fact that made Sun Tzu more formidable in her mind with each recollection. Her husband... or more correctly she had realised as her own madness had diminished somewhat-a madness she had formed to protect her own mind-_she_ had been _his_ wife.

Had he not requested her and had she not been given to him by her father?

Sometimes you have no choice, sometimes you have to accept and in times like this when choice is stripped from you and you have to submit; you have to form barriers and self delusions. How was the Water Bending whelp healing her, a form of salvation? She was damned now, damned to remember and relive in quiet moments like these, what it meant to be the opposite of _great._

"Great as I am..." she whispered to the wind, not caring for Qie Chang and his not so hidden form behind a tree. "Great as I was in defending my nation and father with superior Fire Bending and my chi failed me _beneath_ Sun Tzu"

"Great as I am and I couldn't defend myself" she imagined announcing the words to the wind would let them be swept away from her in the breeze to some desolate far of land.

It never had occurred to her that anyone beside herself could hurt her in a physical or mental way that was greater than her own obsessive self-discipline...

And that had been her folly; reckless arrogance.

Xx~xx~xX

She disappeared then from his sights-and what a sight it had been with her standing in the cool breeze, the emerald flowing robe billowing around her and hair waving over her face is soft wisps like ebony silk smoke. Her eyes staring unseeing over the infinite drop from the first level ground to the majestic Bei Fong expansive ground-she had seemed more a lost angel than a wandering succubus.

She did not seem so intimidating, Qie Chang had thought then. She didn't seem like a violent untamed dragon standing there miles away in her own mind.

"If you are going to baby-sit me, do so with precision... it's an insult to my warrior skill all your bumbling about" Azula growled from behind Qie Chang and he stumbled back into the manicured bush, falling over and disappearing in the middle of the bush with only his flailing limbs evident.

She laughed then, a high awkward laugh that crinkled her eyes oddly. She wasn't used to such abrupt humour and stood patiently in front of the bush as Qie Chang scrambled and fought against the hard wiry internal branches inside the shrub to be free. He got out of it then, turning around to stare accusingly at the bush before realising that Azula was watching him keenly.

"You are not trained?" she asked and he stared at her with wide eyes. "Trained or not, your death will be _swift _and _guaranteed_"  
>He blanched.<p>

"It was a joke" she whispered irritably, rolling her eyes. Why did no one get _her_ jokes...?

"Oh" was all he said and they stood opposite each other uneasily for a minute.

"You are my... babysitter?" she asked eventually.

"No" he breathed, the stammer working in his throat.

"Then why are you following me" she demanded.

"I... was..."

"Oh Agni, he sent a _retard_ to watch over me" she sighed, rubbing her temple. "There is no honour in killing a retard"

She looked at him from under a raised eyebrow and he began to laugh slowly and with alarmingly uneven pitching-unsure on whether it was a joke or not but praying for the initial. She smiled then, exhaling and shaking her head.

"Not a retard after all" she said "He got my joke... then... _What are you_?"  
>"Your date" he spluttered abruptly and remembered how Lord Zuko had instructed him to go about the matter "I mean... if... you would..."<br>He was going to die, he was certain. Whether Azula gave up her stand up comedy or not, he was going to die. His heart would give out any moments and if it didn't he would be killed by Lord Zuko for being so inept at communication...

"You are asking me to the ball?" Azula asked her eyes wide and he exhaled in relief "The ball _tonight_?"

"..." he nodded his head vehemently, his mouth agape and trying to push out the words stuck in his throat.

"You and I will be the most formidable pair there!" Azula proclaimed walking away from him, light flashing over her eyes and continuing her rant "We will be _glorious_, we will be _elegant_ and we shall rule the world!"

She stood still for a moment, a wide slightly maniacal smile lingering on her lips before she remembered her one man audience. She turned around and found him fumbling with the hem of his shirt, twisting it relentlessly and blinking rapidly as though he was incapable of looking at her face for too long.

"I meant rule the _ball_" she said self consciously, watching his scuffling stance. "We will wear red. This diplomatic fashion I have been forced to don will not obstruct our rule"  
>"Of course Princess!" Qie Chang breathed quickly.<p>

"And you will..." she surveyed him once-a look that left him feeling entirely worthless and inadequate to breathe in front of her "Have to do"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The ground is laid out in large broken marble monuments of old, rocks jagged and protruding viciously through the earth and a few sprinkles of weed creep out from under the stone and random oddities dare remain over the battle ground. She stands still and alone, seeing everything that gravity captured for her, breathing the dry air of the space-the smell of clay's and minerals fresh in the air. A gift from Bumi-he knew better than most what would bring a smile to a girl's face on her birthday…

Zuko was so easily blinded-such an ironic contrast to her. Takeshi was all too willing to do something to please her and Zuko was too angry and jealous about _everything _to be able to handle things maturely. He would burn Takeshi, she was sure... he would burn Takeshi if only to remind her that he was not him-that Takeshi was not _Zuko_.

"I won't fight against you..." Zuko tells her softly from somewhere behind, on a perforated flimsy rock, his chi-his life force-barely visible to her on the unstable object. She had heard his approach, her heart squeezing and releasing painfully when she recognised his every nimble movement and her nose immediately flaring hungrily to smell his scent and her breath knocking roughly out of her when he was obviously too far and down wind for her to be blessed in his aroma of husky spices.

"You _will_" she commanded, gulping the hard lump in her throat down and clenching her now sweaty fists. "It's my birthday, Zuko and you will..."

"Are you sparing the _boy_?" he scoffed, rolling his eyes as Takeshi's face flashed over his vision-happy likeable _ingrate_...

"You are so childish" she sighed shaking her head in disappointment "A jealous Fire Lord... always wanting attention"

"You make it like it's _my _fault" he growled, watching her through narrowed eyes. They were too far away to even be discernable by eyes-probably just two dots in the mass of rubble. His red training garment and her new green gear-her mother seemed to know how best to enhance Toph's every destructively hypnotising feature...

"I told you it would destroy us" he breathed, moving of the boulder like a leaf drifting through autumn air-almost too silent. Almost… she moved to her left quickly, willing distance to help her deal with the Fire Lord, using the ground like a conveyer belt and zapping swiftly metres away from him, leaving him groaning in frustration.

"We were doomed from the beginning" she laughed, hiding behind her too long lush hair. "I knew that before you would even acknowledge me…"  
>"I <em>always<em> acknowledged you…"  
>"And that's why I could push for a <em>taste<em>" she finished calmly-ignoring his statement.

"I don't want to try for the impossible... but it would be an insult to my being if I didn't _try_" he whispered-speaking to her and himself and briefly glancing up the giant wall-face, at the little glimmering glass rectangle too high up were her family and his family were watching... watching far up with their friends, too far to hear or see. They were safe even with their eyes watching them.  
>"It's not about you" she said dryly "It's about your child and my nation…"<br>"When will it ever be about me?" he laughed sardonically

"So now is the time for you to try a little _selfishness_?" she said dryly "You really think I am going to entertain your masochistic ambition?"  
>"What in Agni's name do you expect me to do!" he roared "Pretend the jungle never happened, pretend you and I were not lost in heaven in that coffin... pretend like I want a child, pretend like I love Mai...!"<br>"Zuko?"  
>"Well I did, I pretended and you know what, I am done coming second to <em>everything<em>...!" he snarled, walking over to her aggressively and sending a hot chill over her spine when his feet made contact with solid ground and his heat and form were visible to her completely.

"You want a fight for your birthday" the Fire Lord asked the abstracted Grand Master. "I am going to give you a fight to last a lifetime"

Xx~xx~xX

"What do you think is going on there?" Takeshi asked Sokka, pressing his hand against the thick glass and squinting his eyes at the two smudged figures of green and red.

"He is probably warring with himself on whether or not he wants to fight a girl" Sokka said dryly, picking at his teeth with a toothpick "This would be more interesting if it was Zuko and Aang... or Zuko and Azula"  
>"Azula against <em>anyone<em> would be more interesting" Azula murmured. She looked bored; standing at the other end of the glass wall, her hands folded over her chest but her eyes gave her away. Anticipation and frantic excitement made them dance from side to side.

"You don't think I would have a chance with Zuko?" Takeshi asked.

"Not a chance" Sokka replied without waiting for Takeshi to finish breathing the sentence out, oblivious to Takeshi's wide hurt eyes.

"What he means, Takeshi is..."Ursa said softly "You need more training..."  
>"And an army" Aang muttered under his breath.<p>

"Make those two armies" Iroh murmured.

"And maybe a few Kyoshi warriors" Sokka said absently and then yelped with excitement when the green blob thrust a rock at the red blob-and then groaned when Zuko leapt out of the way, ignoring Takeshi's squirming and wide hurt eyes.

"Avatar, it is time we leave" Iroh breathed "We cannot keep Bumi waiting"

"Of course..." Aang sighed, watching one last time as the green and red figures circled each other many feet bellow in the arena and thanking the heavens the shouting match happening was spared on them all.

Xx~xx~xX

"Who do you think will have the most scars?" Azula asked Katara, standing beside the fidgeting waterbender-ignoring the added discomfort her closeness brought to Katara.

"Maybe there won't be any scars Azula" Katara sighed and then flinched when Toph managed to surprise Zuko with a side swap of a very small protruding cliff-like rock.

"Any more added scars to the ones they had already inflicted emotionally or..."  
>"Don't speak of that!"Katara hissed, quickly checking to see were Takeshi and King Kuei where and exhaling when she saw they were busy explaining the dominance of Earth Bending to Ursa.<p>

"Oh, please..." Azula scoffed "What do you know about that... besides what twinkle-toes..."  
>"Toph speaks about us to you?" Katara blurted her eyes wide on Azula's face.<p>

"Us?" Azula laughed "Everyone... Aang, your brother... but you... not really"  
>"Oh"<p>

"He got an edge on her!" Sokka screamed "He got an..."

They watched as Zuko managed to push Toph backwards with what seemed like a fire-wall, simultaneously blasting any of her counter attacks. It lasted a few minutes as Toph righted herself and snuck op on Zuko with intricate stone shackles around his ankles, sending him flat on his face on the ground.

"Well, that had to be the most _short lived edge ever_" Sokka scoffed "I seriously understand why she is Grand Master now..."  
>"She should have won by now" King Kuei sighed.<p>

"Zuko is her friend" Takeshi murmured "She wouldn't want to hurt his feelings"

They all ignored Azula's sarcastic scoff and murmur on the nature of urchins.

Xx~xx~xX

"I let you win" he hissed, grabbing the towel from the servant and storming through the tunnel leading away from the arena. She was trying to move faster, to walk as quickly as possible without having to appear like she was running from him. He was limping slightly but his long legs kept him in pace.

"_Whatever_" she managed, a low almost unheard sound.

"Did what I say _unnerve_ you Toph?" he asked-calmly. _That_ unnerved her, the quick switch from uncontrolled anger to deductive calmness. Whatever edge she usually managed on him had flown out the window. They were on equal footing... if he was not raised higher... and it made her thoughts and actions uncontrolled and sudden.

Their family and friends appeared then, laughing and cheering. He was grateful his Uncle and Aang were not with them but he could not avoid Azula and Ursa's knowing gaze. Azula's impish smirk and wink...

"It was a close fight" Takeshi breathed. "You are really good, Fire Lord... maybe it's time to become a Grand Master?"

Anger flashed through him at the wayward remark but he pursed his lips to contain it. He had learnt by now that abruptness was his folly in any battle. He had learnt by now that his emotions were his destruction and Toph had unwittingly highlighted to him that this would have to be his first correction in his character if he wanted to reach _the impossible_.

"I am sorry I burnt you Toph" he said instead.

"I am sorry I sprained your... _something_" Toph replied gruffly, not turning in his direction and waving a hand haughtily in his direction instead.

"I am sorry about flinging you through rubble, which was a partial accident-I was aiming for the pile of hay" he said tersely

"I am sorry for bruising you all over, I imagine" she said pouting a little and they both ignored the fleeting stares of their little audience "I was only aiming for your ego"

"I am sorry about singeing your glorious hair" he growled-a little trail of smoke wafting lazily from the top of Toph's head.

"I am sorry about crushing your balls" she snarled and Poppy gasped; her hand flying over her mouth as though she had said those words instead of her daughter.

"You didn't crush my _balls_!" Zuko growled.

"Oh, didn't I?" she asked softly.

"No!"

"Well then, let's _rectify_ my _error_" she said sweetly, and moved a step towards him and with the right amount of velocity, raised her knee violently; he doubled over, coughing dryly and reaching between his legs.

"Bloody Urchin!" Zuko flinched, shooing Takeshi's eager assistance and limping more prominently away from King Kuei's eager questions, Ursa's placating, Azula's cackling merging with Sokka's hooting and Katara's chanting of 'Oh, no'.

"That had got to hurt!" Sokka screamed after him as he turned the corner, heading for the changing room and praying Agni would let him be deaf in this moment. "But maybe you have balls of steel, eh Zuko?"  
>"Toph bends steel" Takeshi murmured innocently and Azula resumed her rather high pitched and loud laugh immediately.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

I am tired and angry.

This feels a lot like the first few days I had had to fight for my honour aboard a ship in search of something mystical in my past youth. It scares me; the realisation that I am _not _able to give up. It might be seen as a good quality to some but in me, it possesses a self destructive power. I want to give up, that had been my initial thought when I had arrived on Earth Nation lands.

It would have been easier to give up if I didn't know what loosing would entail or more importantly what the prize was. Such abruptness and overpowering anger... just another notch on a stick on how different I was to the good pure and tranquil Takeshi.

Takeshi who had a patient father, a present mother and _Toph; _what did he have to worry about? He was young and ambitious for the war and combat the world gave. Oh, how disappointed he will be in the future when Agni reveals to him that the greatest battle he will ever have to fight will be with himself.

And who would come out victor in such a war...

"There are so many people there" he breathes, glancing behind at me. I have to remember Aang's warning with each twist of my expression...

We are heading to the games room; Takeshi, Sokka and my self-to join the other suitors, moments before the ball. I would have liked nothing better than to soak in a bath and hide after reaching a stalemate with Toph in a battle we had both been vigorously trying to win.

She had been off her element-something that I was sure was a rarity. I had been unable to be either be completely ruthless or capable of holding back. No one would have noticed such deformities in one Grand Master whose talent was held with obsession, meticulousness and had vicious offence or in one Fire Lord who was renowned for having an exponentially combustive chi reminiscent of dragon's breath.

No one would have picked up on the strange battle but an Avatar who had spiritual knowledge on both arts and a Fire Nation Princess with a keen eye for combat and deductive tactic. One had been absent and the other unperturbed by any imminent disasters the frantic fight showed.

I am grateful for Sokka in this moment; in my current mental and emotional position, I would not fare well with a young easily excitable _boy..._

"...I wouldn't even trust you, Fire Lord" Takeshi chuckled, looking over his shoulder at me. I had deliberately kept my pace so I was a step behind them, but he insisted... oh, how he insisted on pulling me into his little _childish _world.

"Trust me with what?" I asked, fighting to keep my eyes on his face and not roll them.

"With being my wingman, of course!" he laughed and I frowned a little. "I mean, I do trust you..."  
>"It feels me with great honour to know you trust me, Prince Takeshi" I said dryly looking at the back of Sokka's head and imagining setting his pony tail on fire if to just distract the guards so I could murder the <em>boy...<em>

"Fire Lord Zuko is an engaged man with a baby on his way" Takeshi continued absently "And Sokka is with a _Kyoshi Warrior"_

Somehow, he made Sokka sound like he had a better deal with fate than I did.

"So in essence" Takeshi went on, oblivious to Sokka's absent far away expression and my own twisted scowl "Neither of you are threats. Eliminates two men from about thirty..."  
>"I am not a threat?" Sokka said suddenly. "You don't find me a threat, Takeshi? Zuko tell him how threatening I am"<br>"He is as threatening as new born mouse-kittens" I said tonelessly.

"She liked _me_...!" Sokka yelled and both Takeshi and I grimaced at that reminder.

"Maybe it was pity" Takeshi breathed and I snickered involuntarily, Takeshi beaming that he had made me laugh.

"Or maybe it was my _animalistic charisma!_" Sokka yelled.

We walked into the games room then. It was almost unrecognisable with the changed décor; orange and slight wisps of red were strewn in certain areas and I recalled Toph's growl that I appreciate her mother's efforts to get me out of my _sulking, _by sprucing up the furniture_-_least she pull out my spleen.

"I don't sulk" I muttered, surprising Sokka. Takeshi had wandered of to get himself snacks.

"So what do you call this thing you do, then" he asked humorously "If it's a party face, it sucks. You look like a soldier of war with all the scratches and bruises..."  
>"They aren't that many" I said self consciously.<p>

"And you look like you are about to attack a mountain goat-zebra with all the glowering and huffing" he sighed. "Loosen up, seriously. Katara keeps nagging me to watch over you and never leave Takeshi's side"  
>"What!" I yelled and he stepped back when I took an aggressive hasty step towards him.<p>

"Hey, easy there..." he said softly, raising his hands, palms out in the air "I know you are _expecting a child_ and all the trauma of almost being assassinated and then stranded on an island... worst month of your life but don't shoot the messenger"

"Sorry" I grumbled. "I am mad at Aang, I apologise"  
>Aang... he was younger than I was and yet he liked to act like my elder just because he could stroll in the spirit world on impulse. I wouldn't have murdered Takeshi if I was alone with him... maybe accidentally burned his eyebrows off, scorched his ever quick tongue or gave his smooth beard free face blisters. I wouldn't have <em>killed<em> him...

That would have been too obvious.

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you think I have a chance, Fire Lord?" he asked and I wanted to tell him he didn't need chance if he was the Earth Nation Prince. He had won by birth...

"What I think matters not... Takeshi" I said instead, the urge to call him boy had to be pushed down violently "It's what _you _feel in the end"

"Well, I have taken the initiative to know her friends" he nods his head once "I train with her, she kissed me..."  
>"As long as you are the only one she has kissed" I say through clenched teeth, gripping my fist steely by my sides "You don't want to be blindsided by some other..."<br>"That guy there is _ancient_" Sokka cuts me-nudging at my side and pointing obviously at the middle-aged man at the other side of the room "I know Toph is _blind _but really... that is trying your luck"

"Sometimes luck is all you have" Takeshi murmurs with the right amount of angst and wistfulness to turn the comment into something worthy of philosophical recognition.

"... and masochistic ambition" I add dryly, moving away from our little huddled group in the corner "I need... I have to go"

"Will you be back?" Takeshi asked quickly "There is going to be games"

"I will see you at the ball" I tell him tersely walking away "Sokka, you were instructed to watch over the _wrong_ person"

"That doesn't make sense" Sokka complains.

"Now you know how I feel when you talk to me"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"It truly is a lovely gown" Katara murmurs, her hands hovering over the finely textured coral and green flowing gown before retracting her hand sharply when she meets Poppy's unforgiving glare.

"It is"Poppy states taking the gown off the single gold rail carefully and placing it delicately on the bed "You can only imagine how her wedding gown will be"

She spreads the gown over Toph's large bed with concentration and meticulousness, fanning the bottom out and smoothing its surface. Katara saw then how exquisite it truly was; the green lay as the canvas to the coral and white embroidery, the flowing bottom of it in a different more shimmering texture than the rest of the dress and the stitching barely visible.

Poppy had gone all out on this, Katara thought. And Toph sat petulantly in front of her dressing table, rubbing her still pink and bruised elbow.

"It's like she is trying to sabotage the ball!" Poppy hissed, casting Toph a reproachful look "Battling on the night of your ball. Battling the Fire Lord, a Fire Bending... my mother is turning in her grave, I can feel it!"  
>"It's no problem" Katara said quickly "I can heal her bruises and we have several hours before the ball, no?"<br>"Yes" Poppy breathed "The ball will begin at eleven... she will choose Takeshi at twelve and we will go through with the rest of the festivities till early morning... if the young ones choose"

"That is rather... late?" Katara said.

"Its tradition and it _will_ be kept" Poppy said frigidly "I trust you and Azula will fix that disaster sitting by the dressing table... I have reached the maximum with my patience"  
>"Of course" Katara breathed "I think Suki has arrived... she can do make-up"<br>"Hmm" Poppy sighed leaving the room. "I need a drink... Toph Bei Fong, you will be the death of me"

Xx~xx~xX

She wrapped Toph's hair in a creamy Shea-coconut butter masque, pulling her fingers slowly through the hair from root through its expansive length, all the way to the ends. Using her water bending, she infused the hair with the thick cream and ensured it set perfectly on Toph's hair.

"Hmm" Azula murmured watching Katara's hairdressing skills "One would think you barely knew how to use a comb with those vines growing on your head and yet here you are..."

"That is Azula's way of complimenting people" Toph translated quickly when Katara paused the relaxing motion to stare at Azula in disbelief.

"Maybe instead of wheedling through my brain and twisting the flow of blood in my veins" Azula said thoughtfully "You could have given me a make over instead?"

"That wouldn't have helped with the insanity" Katara whispered.

She still didn't understand Azula. She still didn't understand how exactly she had healed the Fire Princess with each time she accidentally made eye contact with Azula and her insides squirmed and mind raced to defence mode. Azula still held that sadistic gleam in her eyes; her movements were still lithe and cat-like in their elegance and vigilant nature-as though she was always ready to spring into attack. Her lips still pulled in the same heartless manner, her laughter was still inappropriate in its fluid musical quality that sent a chill down her spine...

She didn't understand how she had healed Azula because Azula was still terrifying in a very _Azula way._

"The insanity wasn't the problem" Azula breathed detached, staring out to the balcony, the orange glow of the setting sun glinting off the polished tiling there.

"Then what was?" Katara asked softly, clipping Toph's hair in various places and tucking it under a cap.

"It matters not" Azula sighed "It was many years ago in a time were the saviour of the world was a young boy with a thing for whelps"

"He isn't a young boy anymore" Katara said defensively

"But _you_ are still a _whelp_" Azula said firmly and Toph burst out laughing.

"You are supposed to be _my friend_" Katara accused hurt and angry, tempted to freeze Toph's hair under the cap.

"Come on!" Toph chuckled, clutching her stomach "You walked straight into that! See why I love her, she challenges you!"  
>Azula grinned at that, ignoring Katara's pouting in favour of staring at her nails and humming the Fire Nation national anthem.<p>

"Speaking of _challenges_" Katara breathed conspiratorially "I didn't see that one coming"  
>"Neither did I" Toph said dryly "Try describing it to me, you suck at riddles and wit Frosty"<p>

"It's about..."

"Just say it" Azula sighed "Zuko... she knows I don't care for gossip or meddling"

"Azula really doesn't care about gossip and meddling" Toph said matter of fact "Quite an endearing quality in her... except it makes her as tactless as Iroh and Sokka combined"  
>"An insult and a compliment rolled in one" Azula laughed.<p>

"Oh, uhm..." Katara watched the exchange confused "Okay... it's about that. I don't really see the _attraction_"  
>"Neither do I" Toph breathed "Honestly"<br>"So you understand why..."  
>"That was sarcasm, whelp" Azula huffed impatiently "She really is as daft as her brother" <p>

"Sokka is...!" Katara began but Azula's indifferent form lying lazily on the couch and filing her nails seemed entirely more intimidating than the one that had crazy eyes and had flung lightning at her years ago. "Anyway... let your hair steam, take a shower Lady Bei Fong will be back with the Queen and maidens to get you ready"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

She just needed a few seconds to breathe so it wasn't really ditching Katara and Azula in a way. Azula was bullying that scrawny date of hers and Katara was sucking up to King Kuei. She was good at slipping away and maybe it should bother her that she was so good she could do it on her _own_ ball...

She wasn't scared-and if she was, would she admit it? She wasn't terrified of being gawked at-she was blind after all? She wasn't concerned about the unnecessary existence of this Ball-it didn't matter that her intended was chosen already? They had all said she was beautiful, the women she loved and respected-she didn't know what she looked like but in the gown she felt like squishy mud?

The perfect night for a perfect Ball, her mother had said. The moon was out apparently, shining over their garden, orchard and grounds. That was the context of every Ball for an Earth Nation Noble daughter.

The moon shines to unveil the beauty of fresh and pure womanhood...

"You have never looked more beautiful, Toph" he murmured and she froze her slow lowering of the long trailing gown over the wooden railing on the balcony.

She couldn't see him; he wasn't on the ground on the balcony or in the garden. He was somewhere _up..._

"I was thinking of not being there" he sighed and she heard the soft rustle of fabric through the air as he jumped nimbly from the edge of the roof to the balcony "I was thinking of making an appearance at the last minute if only to get Aang of my back"

"So you thought you would hide out on the roof?" she asked him, holding the edge of the stone rail, her hands sweaty and unsteady.

"Speaking of oddness" he breathed-voice husky and distance and she knew being on the other side of the balcony railing was most suspicious "Why does it appear like you are making a break for it from your own Ball?"

"I am not!" she growled, her hands sliding over the smooth wood unsteadily, she lost her grip and momentarily balanced awkwardly, her hands flailing behind her to propel her back forward and just as she lost that battle and fell backwards-he reached out to grab her hand-missing it entirely and watching her with wide terrified eyes as she fell.

"Toph!" he hissed through the air and flinched when he heard the soft thud of her body. He jumped over the rail and lithely dived down and groaned when the ground came too soon beneath his feet. It wasn't that far down...

"My mother is going to have a hernia!" Toph cried, allowing Zuko to help her up "The dress... oh shit, _oh shit_... this is... your fault!"

"My fault?" he released her then, before she found her equilibrium and she stumbled back and knocked into a stone fountain. "You are the one trying to scale the face of the house!"  
>"Why are you even outside!" she hissed taking an aggressive step towards him. He didn't yield to her intimidation and folded his arms over his chest; surveying her in the beautiful gown, her make-up flawless and minimal, her hair shining and liquid in its intricate design.<p>

"It's funny you wished I would jump off the balcony not yesterday, was it?" he chuckled "And what did I say to you..."

"Only if I jumped with you" she murmured absently, fighting of a tickling smile on her lips. "Why don't you go inside Zuko"  
>"It's not my party" he sighed.<p>

She walked away from him, clutching her dress of the ground and moved through the moonlit garden shrewdly. She knew he would follow her and he knew he would follow her... she was a spirit under the soft white light of the moon. She was captivating and his heart was breaking with each second he watched her move but he could do nothing about it.

He was hypnotised.

"Why are you alone" he asked her, following her pace adjacently-the long hedge between them. Only her head was visible over it, her eyes staring unseeingly ahead and mouth set in a determined pout. A beauty unparalleled; her cheeks pale and silken and nose...

"Stop staring at me" she whispered and he looked away for a second, attempting to count till five before he looked at her again but only managing to reach three.

"I would have thought Lady Bei Fong would have assigned you a body guard" he said and she closed her eyes-walking anyway. She didn't need them open to see but he needed them open to remember her like this-ethereal and heartbreaking.

"She would sooner assign the dress a body guard" Toph laughed sharply. "I will return to them soon... it only really starts at eleven"  
>"It's eight" he sighed, reaching the end of the path with her and stopping. "Where are you going?"<p>

"To the lake" she murmured. "Go back, Zuko"

"No"

"Why not...?" she whispered. She was sure her clenched hands were leaving sweat marks on the fabric but she felt too weak to care with his heat enticing her left side.

"I don't know how to leave you, Toph" he said honestly, glancing back at the faraway lights of the manor.

"Just walk away" she breathed, her voice coming out too low and her heart dancing furiously in her chest. He walked around the tip of the end of the hedge to her, standing in front of her and too close.

"Why are you going to the lake?" he asked her-his spice enveloping her and clouding her mind.

"I like it there"

"Do you think I'll like it too?" Zuko asked softly.

"Yes" she breathed abruptly, heat filling her cheeks at how quickly and almost desperately she had answered. He touched her cheeks, his fingers hotter than her blush and she shuddered.

"Won't you take me there?" he asked.

"Go back to the house, Zuko" she said instead of the yes that had rushed to the tip of her tongue.

"Make me" he challenged and she pulled at her reason, she tried to dispel the lack of caution in her heart and body and give her mind back its control. So she walked of towards the lake when reason, caution and control were not found...

And when he followed, she ran.

And when he ran, she ran faster.

Xx~xx~xX

"Let me go!" she hissed, his hands finding her waist and lifting her off the ground. She fought him-even in their reckless speed while running-and they fell over hard on to the soft grass.

They tumbled together in synchronised stubbornness; he tried to pin her hands and she clawed at his face. They were by the lake; they were far from the house and alone under the unveiling of the moon.

"Stop...!" he commanded and she struggled with more fury and fervour under his demand. He was certain she would Earth Bend, it was logical for her to do so if she _really_ wanted to be free...

"Stop...!" he said again and pulled her arms up over her head, holding them firmly against the grass and pressing her into the lawn with his own body. She squirmed and struggled; tugging furiously against his steel magma grip.

He really should let her go. He wasn't sure of what he was doing, why he insisted on coming with her to the lake or why he didn't want to release her. Or so he kept telling himself.

"Stop..." he breathed by her ear and she paused, her breath fanning over his face and chest rising furiously before falling down heavily.

"Stop..." she groaned when he kissed her on the neck, hot lips making contact with cool lightly perfumed soft velvet skin.

"Make me" he challenged and she groaned again, tugging to set free her locked hands-to be free and away from him, she was certain but when their lips met for a fever inducing heated soft kiss and he released her hands in the confusing bliss of that touch-her hands went into his hair and held his head desperately to hers.

"Zuko..." she moaned and he growled into her mouth.

It turned frantic and wild too fast and _nothing_ was enough. She didn't understand this need that her body had become under attack with-nothing like the casket. This felt like life and death-living and dying. She was balanced between the two but that equilibrium was dangerous-like walking on the edge of a knife. This was destined for blood shed... this was destined to hurt her beautifully and exquisitely.

He was lost in her scent and touch. His mind was one whirlwind of _Toph _and lotus flowers. There were lotus flowers around them he realised, a small miniscule thought and nonessential sight-he thought carelessly of the wild lotus he had captured from the island. These were nothing like the raw beauty of those plants... but Toph's own beauty reflected them hypnotically under the moon.

"Mhmm" he groaned as they rubbed and grabbed at each other, rolling in the grass-carelessly close to the lake, the stray flowers being crushed under their wrestling for dominance.

He as on top of her in the end, his eyes shut but his lids letting in a hot red colour through the membrane. Thought was slipping away, doubt and fear left behind in the large grand manor and their hearts thumbing and drumming together in a silent ball room waltz of their own. She was pinned once more, and fear and innocence of her own body caused her to submit...

She knew of this in theory, but with him moving absently and instinctually between her legs she was lost and unlearnt. Her gown became a hindrance to him and he didn't know why. He pushed it up over surprisingly long legs for her petit curvy frame, he held it over her thighs and then past her hips and then she gasped when he fell gently down between her legs again-her skin exposed to better take note of his uncontrolled mindless actions.

"Zuko!" she moaned when she felt him firm in the inside of her thighs, brushing lightly and teasing her with each move. He paused, shaking slightly as though stopping would cause him to implode.

"Toph?" he whispered, prying his eyes open and he was immediately held by her dark green opaque eyes. He stared at those eyes; he fell into them fast, hovering over her uncertainly and a heated understanding of what was about to take place settled into his heart and snaked through his stomach.

"Z...Zuko" she whispered finally, her hand reaching behind him and gripping his back, pulling him down onto her. "_Please"_

"Toph..." he groaned, kissing her full of fervour and with such intensity that her every nerve was set ablaze and she was possessed by the throbbing between her legs, the heat between them and the moist pulsing contaminating her centre with each of his sinfully hot and addictive touches.

He pushed his pants down, she pulled her gown further up and he lowered himself into her slowly-his eyes locked with unseeing emerald dusty orbs. Her hand resting firmly on his chest and feeling each shudder and pulse of his heart-each pull of his chi. It hurt-it hurt magnificently and she groaned in a weird juxtaposed mosaic of pain and unadulterated pleasure as he pierced the throbbing fully and substantially. He remained still then, his face contorted in bliss and her own moans filling the cool air.

"_Move!" _she growled and he made one long wilful stroke, her shuddering tempestuous cry snapping him out of the rapture feeling of her loving lips and muscles kissing and gripping him. He was sure he didn't know a feeling like this, he was certain it had never rippled through his body and he would never have come across it had he planned it...

This was sin, this was offence against something sacred he thought, but for once-he didn't care.

For sin had never felt so good...

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"There you are!" Aang yelled from behind me.

I didn't stop, moving slowly along the corridor and using the walls as a guide-the bottle of wine swinging dangerously in my hand.

"Takeshi and Toph are..."

"Shut up" I hissed, taking a long drink of the wine and peering at him through the haze.

"I know you really..." he tried and I growled at him, pausing my stumbling to glare at him.

"You know nothing" I spat "What have _you_ ever sacrificed, hmm?"

"This was... difficult for you, I know Zuko" he whispered reaching for the bottle. I swung it out of his reach but in my intoxicated dexterity ended up smashing the bottle against the wall' the red wine dribbling slowly down like blood...

"Let me take you to your chamber, buddy" he murmured trying to hold me up but I fell to the ground slowly, slumping on the ground. "Give me a hand here, guard"

I felt him tug and then haul me up. I didn't care enough to watch my own embarrassment. It was only for Aang and some nameless guard. When everything impulsive and beautiful had been done-we both knew she had to go back to the ball. I knew then that what I had been chasing for, this _impossibility_... it had been goodbye.

It had felt impossible to say goodbye to our youth and innocence but now we were unbounded...

"Goodbye Toph" I whispered.

"Come on..." Aang egged the guard "We have to get him out of the corridor; this will not be good for anyone... if someone sees"  
>"Understood, Avatar" the guard breathed.<p>

"She had to change, did you see that?" I asked after Aang and the guard threw me on the bed "The wickedness of her, to dance in a red gown on the Earth Nation Moon Festival of her Ball..."

"We can only thank Azula for having spare gowns" Aang sighed "And I doubt Toph minded wearing red, she is practically colour blind..."

"I gave her the fire-lily from the island as her gift..." I mumbled "The only one of its kind... the lotus flower is her... _I kept that_"

"Uh... okay buddy" Aang whispered sadly. "Try and sleep, okay"

"Hmm" I mumbled the edges of my conscious snipping into darkness. "I leave tomorrow for my rapist pregnant fiancé?"  
>"Yes"<br>"Oh _joy_..."

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**I bet no one saw that one coming! Well, not in this chapter anyway...**

**I apologise humbly for the delay. I hope the nice length and goodies (which I hope I wrote well, this would be my second love scene ever) will be a sign of repentance.**

**Well then, review... how did you find things?**

**Till next time**

**Xx Tj **


	33. Book 2

**A DAY IN THE LIFE OF ZUKO**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**X**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**BOOK TWO**

**Xx~xx~xX**

**THE THINGS THAT HURT US THE MOST**

The things that hurt us most, in most instances... are our own selves. If we were not such self obsessed creatures, taking our external environment and combining it with our internal-then surely we would be at peace...?

At peace like monks; well practiced in the art of separating our physical from the spiritual realm our souls reside in.

Emotions and thoughts seem so interwoven when they reside in two separate states; the heart and the brain.

Could one think without _feeling_?

And what does one do when thought arrives in the mind and before the emotion could be attached... the discovered they were missing the one biological machinery required to fuse the emotion to the thought? They had the mind-the brain-to think but their heart was somewhere far, far away.

Could one think without the _heart_?

Xx~xx~xX

"...I am so excited" she breathes, her silhouette moving in front of the haze of my eyes "Finally"

She doesn't notice that I am hung over or that I am not really looking at her these days-maybe she notices that but has decided not to care for it. She can't really do anything if I decide to have wine instead of tea; she can't really say anything about _anything_...

It doesn't bother her because I have set our wedding date and sent it out to the nation. Less than a month or so. I don't really care for it; wedding date and due date. I don't care at all and no one has the right to bother me about caring because my body is going to be present at both of these occasions regardless and that's all you can ask of me at this point...

"I want you to get your own room, Mai" I say softly and she pauses her pacing, back going rigid and eyes large and anticipating... I hate that she acts like I will hurt her. I wouldn't hurt her, how can she not know. She acts like any disagreement on her part will result in some unjustified violence from my end, a physical violence... I would never hurt her and she doesn't know what her reaction does to me.

What it reminds me of... I could never be Ozai, but she didn't understand this part because I had never told her. Azula and I both-I was certain-never shared with a soul the extent of Ozai's wrath...

"But we are to be married" she squeaks.

"This is not a discussion" I keep my voice neutral-facts, I had come to realise, helped to eliminate confusion with many people... many people were intimidated by facts.

I wish I was like that... I wish I had been like that. I wouldn't be here like this if I had let the facts and logic keep me at bay.

"Adjacent?" she says after a beat and I fling my hand indifferently to her request "Adjacent... that's okay?"

"You can leave" I murmur and she sighs, casting me one last yearning look before bolting out.

Xx~xx~xX

"...we have the charity fundraiser" Qie Chang continues and I nod my head in fake concentration to his words, sipping the wine slowly.

"Maybe you have had one too..." I give him one look and he splutters, mixing up his papers in the process and then frantically trying to find were he was.

"... and then the soldier barracks still need..."

"You were on something to do with orphans" I sigh and he laughs nervously, rearranging his papers again-oblivious to Azula gliding into the room. "You can stop... Azula is here and I don't feel like having a hostile takeover of my throne in my own office"

"I would hardly say it would be hostile" she snapped "I would be most loving about it, dear brother"  
>"To what do I owe the displeasure?" I huff, trying to push the wine glass behind the large Water Nation crystal lamp Katara sent me.<p>

"Hiding wine glasses behind crystal _see-through _ugly lamps" Azula says disapprovingly "This is a new low"

"Why are you here" I hiss, looking away from her.

"To warn you that mother is talking insistently about your new fondness for wine" she sighed, sitting down heavily and arranging herself in a bored stance "And to give you a history lesson on how the Earth Nation is the only Nation to house crazy alcoholic Kings..."

"Maybe I should go rule there then" I snap.

"Then maybe you would have been a chosen suitor to one of their beautiful Noble Women" she says.

Low blow...

"No more wine" Azula states and I grunt my compliance. "Maybe we can start your training as a stress reliever?"  
>"<em>Maybe<em>..." I mumble, folding my arms

"You know I am no good at coddling you" she sighs "This is me trying and unless you want a thousand voltages coursing through your veins in my _next attempt..._ you'll get your ass out of your little throne..."  
>"It's big"<br>"I could have gone _bigger_" she rolled her eyes and continued "...get your ass out of your _almost big_ throne and get it to the training grounds"

"I am working" I say coolly "I am sure in your _imaginations_ as a Fire Lord you understand it's not all flame throwing and fun..."  
>"Qie Chang can tag along, of course" she sighed irritably walking out "I hate self pity... drunks even more"<br>"I thought you hated commoners and monks more?" I ask.

"No, the list got shuffled around after the Avatar was dropped a few points" she said "He was actually quite funny at the ball-a true testament that opposites attract; that Water Nation wretch should go drown in a lake for all her bending talent and charisma..."

Xx~xx~xX

"Your flame is haywire" she drones and I growl, pulling that very flame and flinging at her. She deflects it easily and yawns.

"You are missing one key element" she sighs, twisting my fire whip in the air and back at me, I jump out of the way and pause-heaving hard

"What...!" I gasp, wiping sweat from my brow. She is right about the fire being haywire... it's draining my energy just to get it to bend to my skill and not come out of me as one big hot wave.

"Emotional Detachment" she says in a monotonous tone.

"Uncle says we should not detach our emotion" I breathe "Only discipline them"

"Are you going to listen to an emotional old man who comfort eats?" Azula scoffs "Or the original child prodigy who can-_by the way_-produce lightning which _by the way_, you can't"

We resume... and I take her words in. I try not to think about the hollowness I feel or the odd sense that every _tomorrow _is scheduled as doomsday by Agni. I try... and then I resort to just hanging onto the feeling, the fear that tomorrow I would wake up and this black pain would have consumed me, that my lack of hope is turning me in to zombie... that having a child does not seem to be reason enough to have purpose in life...

I feel it, it consumes me and then it just merges with who I am. We are on equal footing once again but she has the upper hand. She is focused and I am constantly being surprised into defending and attacking.

"You charge like a lama-bull" Azula huffs after an intersection "No wonder you could never win against Toph..."  
>"Could never win... Toph?" I mumble, frowning at her. "What are you <em>saying...<em>?"  
>"I said..."<br>I don't give her a chance to finish. I charge like the damned lama-bull she thinks I am. She is the one being pushed to deflecting and absorbing heat-of course the heat I give of isn't so easily taken in. She stumbles back and frowns at me.

"You better calm the hell down..." she roars but I snarl at her "I swear... I will hurt you and enjoy it!" 

Detaching is supposedly like having an outer body experience. Could I see myself flinging flame after flame at Azula... could I hear Qie Chang's whines in the background turning into cries for me to stop...? I was deaf to the world.

The only sound filling my ears were her _moans_ and her _sorry_-overlapping each other.

And only when I see the bright light in front of me do I remember were I am and the action my body I playing out-she has resorted to lightning, her eyes wide and terrified and I realise we are back at that day when I had intercepted her bolt to save a friend. I realise I have taken her back to that day...

I redirect it in time, casting it away and watch horrified as it zooms inches from Qie Chang's head-his hair standing on end but he is otherwise unharmed. He drops to the ground in fear, quivering and praying to Agni...

Azula stumbles and falls awkwardly.

I need a moment. I had done the opposite of detaching... my breath knocked out of me; I was struggling to breathe...

Ten, nine... lotus flowers... five four... lotus flowers... one.

I opened my eyes, my breath still fast but controlled. Qie Chang is with Azula, struggling and fighting with her so he could help her.

"You drunk idiot!" she hissed pointing a finger accusingly at me and then shoves Qie Chang "Let me go, I am not injured you... you... what's wrong with your hair?"  
>"Never mind my hair" Qie Chang huffs "You are limping..."<p>

"It's just a scratch" she groans but when she places the left leg the tiniest bit on the ground-she looses her scowl and grimaces in pain.

"Zula...!" I rush to her and she holds her hand up to indicate I stop, still moaning in pain but maintaining she isn't injured.

"Fire Lord... I will help the princess" Qie Chang huffs, trying to hold Azula up by her left side to keep her from applying any pressure on the sprained ankle and struggling to get a grip on a stubbornly squirming Azula.

"You know my request was only for the Ball" I ask bemused at his adamant insistence to manage Azula's injury.

"I know" he says smiling weakly and moving the belligerent hobbling and cursing Azula "She won't burn me..."

"She won't?" I stare at Azula in confusion and she huffs.

"He is the only one who gets my jokes" she says defensively. "Now move...!"

Xx~xx~xX

"Mai told Kuya... who told me that you requested separate rooms?"

"Kuya told you this?" I ask suspiciously-it was no secret that Mai and her mother had frosty communications with Azula and Ursa

They managed to be civil only because both Mai and Kuya feared Azula and Ursa was a Grand Master at passive aggression

"Well..." Ursa looks away from me, pursing her lips-controlling her emotions before continuing icily "She accused me of meddling and putting thoughts in your mind"  
>"Mai has only Mai to blame for my decision" I state.<p>

She pauses, running her hand over the desk before looking at me with a disarming gaze.

"She is carrying your child, Zuko" she whispers.

"I have no recollection of _making_ that child" I growl and she looks away quickly "I think I am extending a fair amount of kindness to her under the circumstances..."  
>"You think you are hurting Mai with this strike..." she whispers low and intense, rising from the chair stiffly and walking towards the door.<p>

"...but it's always the child that feels the brunt of the pain"

Xx~xx~xX

She has done what she said she would always do.

She has gone travelling across the vast Earth Nation to refine her bending to more than just an ability to bend metal roughly. She wants it to be included as intricate part of their tutorial bending structures. She will be gone for maybe three months, she may miss my Wedding-I don't think I want her there anyway... I am not sure what it would do to me.

I found all this out from Iroh and it hurt like lightning striking my chest.

I don't have the luxury of missing the social event King Kuei has arranged less than a month after my wedding-I have to go. I am not comfortable with Iroh's knew partnership with Kuei-I have no doubt he is behind the King's rekindled love for festivities but Aang sees it as a blessing to help calm lingering hostilities and build familiarity amongst nations. Aang and his damn logic and wisdom... always foiling my escape plans from emotional torture.

She will return in time for King Kuei's Gala, she will be there with Takeshi-who has sent me two letters that I have not replied or opened. I take my not burning them immediately as a sign of regaining some measure of control on my emotions. Staring them in quiet moments might not help, but they are not ashes just yet...

Xx~xx~xX

"What are you doing?"  
>"Azula... <em>please<em>" I sigh, dropping my meditating stance and opening my good eye to look at her. She is blocking the sun from me, her face hidden in shadows. "You are blocking the sun, do you mind?"  
>"No, I don't mind" she breathes but limbs an inch out of the way.<p>

I close my eyes again and count backwards from ten. She huffs when I reach five and then snorts when I am at two and by the time I am done, she is singing the National Anthem in a fake husky voice. There are so many little things she does that are entirely... Toph.

"What in Agni's holy Name, is your damned problem!"

"You know, for a man who is obsessed with religion" she murmurs "You use Agni's name a bit fickly"

"Go away!" I groan, rising from the ground and walking of to the lawn. She follows me, talking too fast about the wedding in a week's time and about flowers. "We need to find you a friend"  
>"Ha!" she scoffed "Because you have so many of those"<br>"I think I do..." I murmur, sitting on the grass carefully and reassembling my limbs into a meditative pose.

"Oh, please" she grumbled "You and Aang don't really have a choice if you want the world to remain round and not implode with hatred and..."  
>"What do you want, Azula" I breath, leaning back on my hands and staring out to blue wall that was the drop from our garden to the sea.<p>

"I want to help you" she murmured, picking at the grass near my feet and not lifting her head up to me. "Your bending..."  
>"You want me to call you Sensei?" I ask her and she frowns.<p>

"You can call me Azula... that will be fine"  
>"You are serious?"<br>"Think of it as my wedding gift to you..." she said softly "For... well, I don't know"  
>"For saving your life when I really didn't have to?" I offer and she mumbles a 'maybe'.<p>

"For organising you a date for the Ball" I say a smile ghosting on my lips and she grumbles that she could have done better if it were herself doing the organising. "Right, I actually think I did well with Qie Chang"  
>"He stammers" she groaned.<p>

"You haven't burnt him" I counter and she looks away, letting her hair fall over her face.

"I cannot have a stammering snivelling husband" she says in her dry tone.

"Who said it was destined for marriage" I sighed, feeling calmer than when I had been attempting to meditate and lying back on the grass "Who said because you are _Azula crown Princess_ you had to be married to some big shot... you can be young and not worry about _stuff_"

"Who are you and what have you done with my brother?" she breathed and I laughed lightly. "Are you talking about me or you... how you would have liked things to be?"  
>"A little of both" I murmured "Now tell me about this husband of yours"<p>

"Which husband?" she asked confused.

"The one you were married to" I said calmly, but bracing myself for a war.

"What..." she paused and went rigid at my side.

"You said something in the carriage when Poppy Bei Fong took you shopping with Ursa" I said.

"It was... a joke" she frowned "Did Ursa put you up to this, that coward..."  
>"You used to be most proficient about lying" I said coolly "Because I was so caught up in my Ozai distress, I never bothered to realise you were not very good at lying about things that had tangibly hit you like <em>defeat<em>, _failure_ and _embarrassment..."  
><em>"Shut up" she growled.

"Tell me about this husband" I pressed.

"I said shut up!" she roared rising from the ground and wheeling around. I turned my head lightly and saw the billowing burgundy of her gown blurring through the air as she ran through the garden to the palace.

I couldn't very well get back to Ursa with a reply that constituted of 'Shut Up'. Azula had always been secretive and if she had been married and if it had been something she didn't want people to know, then we wouldn't know. Maybe it was just a joke... a bad one like all her other jokes. A joke born out of this strange idyll she had of having a strong respected husband at her side and being married-such an ironic desire in a woman who strived to be the perfect warrior with harsh discipline. Such a strange want in a person who found sitting under a shade with ones brother an anxious thing; sitting awkwardly beside me and suspicious of every honest question and response...

Azula, my Sensei.

Xx~xx~xX

"Mi..." I breathe and she giggles, her breath tickling the nape of my neck. "Uh..."  
>"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asks.<p>

"Maybe..." I mumble reaching for my shirt. She always asks this and it always makes me want to stop coming to her like this.

"That's good enough for me" she sighs, falling back on the bed and watching me put my clothes on with greedy eyes. "You know, Fire Lord..."  
>"Yes" I sigh. I hated it when she attempted to make conversation, she wasn't very bright about things that happened in <em>my world <em>but insisted on trying to be.

"You would be very handsome..." she whispered walking over to me and touching the cheek on the good side of my face "If it weren't for the scar"  
>"Well..." I took her hand way from my face and berated myself for allowing her those five seconds to prove that she had also ambitiously positioned herself in a title were she thought her opinion mattered "Well, Mi... I kind of like my battle scar. It is who I am"<br>"Oh" was all she managed, blushing and falling back on the bed theatrically. "Like a warrior?"  
>"<em>I am<em> a warrior" I murmured, peering at the square mirror and arranging my hair in my crown, distracted momentarily by her naked lounging on the small bed. I realise that I have no true image to compare her with Toph, like I had been doing religiously since I had decided to enjoy wine and other pleasures before being jailed to Mai.

Just that one image of her standing in the dish in Ursa's long forgotten little hut; naked and glistening with her back to me. Just that image, that brief vision of a perfect glistening woman's back curved and soft... trumped every aesthetic Mi could ever hope of possessing to stand a winning chance of being the location were my heady desires could ever run too in mindless frenzy.

Her eyes unseeing and large won over any green the world could offer...

"Argh..." I took the crown of and placed it petulantly on the dresser of the hidden room. "Move over"

"I thought you had a meeting..." she giggled.

"I thought I was Fire Lord..." I murmured into her neck.

Xx~xx~xX

The Lotus flowers are thriving... they may not have multiplied to be as many as I had hoped, but at least I can sleep well knowing they are not extinct. I had had to really pull in resources to find the soil they needed and the fertiliser. They can't compare to their original; the peach coral colour of it...

Even though lotus flowers will always hold my heart, I have discovered that she can be found in different plants. And this has been added to my meditation list-sourcing flowers that I thought hid her in their beauty. Azula forgave me as easily as pretending the 'Husband Incident' had not happened.

She scoffs at my meditation but she comes with me every time I go with the Royal Botanist and scour our Royal Island for interesting flowers. The island has become too small; we need to venture out for more interesting types, she tells me and I smile. Of course I ensure Qie Chang is with us-he fails to hide his pleasure to the matter and I try not to let that grate me. As much as I enjoy what he brings out of Azula-I don't like that he is the one to bring this out...

He is lucky I am meditating.

She thinks she isn't meditating with me when I do my stances that I was taught by Aang; her stillness and pensiveness in her gradual patience with my rituals before our training is meditation enough. She doesn't frown so much and allows Qie Chang to talk-when they think I am not listening or watching. He doesn't stammer with her but he hangs on her every word like she is Agni's living representative and I want to clip him upside the head for that. Goo-goo eyed runt... staring at my sister...

He is lucky I am meditating.

I don't like that he reminds me of Takeshi but I try not to let it get in the way-even when in increasingly common instances, Azula teases him more than she does me. Well, at least he keeps the lightning throwing at bay in training...

She wouldn't want me to accidentally redirect the bolt at his innocent perpetually bewildered expression...

Xx~xx~xX

"Okay, that was better..." Azula sighed, wiping her brow. "Now try and do the third stance quicker..."  
>"How about switching it up a bit" I murmur<p>

"We do not 'Switch It Up'" she snaps "We follow procedure and..."  
>"You switch up your bending" I tell her and she huffs.<p>

"I know what your idea of switching things up is, Zuko"

"What is it?" I challenge.

"Mixing stances from other manuscripts... manuscripts from other Benders" she says softly-like the notion is serious sacrilege to our religion.

"Mixing stances is what brought us to redirecting lightning... which you can't do" I tell her and she scoffs.

"Mixing stances?" she laughs, her eyes flashing. "Okay, show me something..."

I pick up the copy of three Water Bending moves (Katara was treating it like it was the formula to water, refusing to give me more than three of her fifty-five stances) and left Aang's overzealous one kilogram thick manuscript on the ground for... a less hot day.

"These are..." I try reading the Water Tribe symbols but I can only make out 'Ice' and opt to study the diagrams. "These are three on turning water into ice..."  
>"For a hot day" Azula chuckled "If we run out ice, Zuko can attempt to become a Water Bender, eh?"<br>"Anyway..." I move over her snide remark "One foot up, and hands balanced in the air... try it while I read it out, Zula..."

"Argh" she hissed "Okay, I'll humour you... but I would have preferred it if you had gotten your hands on Earth Nation bending manuscripts if we are going to be doing this... Water Bending is weak"

"Hmm, maybe Kuei could have asked Toph..." I begin slowly, hoping she doesn't take the mention of Toph's name as a gateway into a tactless discussion about her only friends.

"There would be no diagrams on them, you idiot" she laughed, wobbling lightly as she tried to mimic the diagram "It would be in _brail"_

"If you dare laugh, Qie Chang" I said absently "I'll burn your hair off"

"Yes, Fire Lord..." he murmured in a controlled voice. "Of course..."

Xx~xx~xX

It turned out that Katara's stances for sending water through the air as ice-daggers manipulated into Fire Bending sent torpedo like balls of flames-fifteen was the maximum I managed in one go. Water Bending stances required a different pull of the chi-a tranquil stillness that was slow growing rather than abrupt eruption and it had taken me a while to figure out why nothing was coming of my innovation. Azula was grudgingly impressed and hinted that when applied to producing lightning, the different bending techniques would cause Fire Bending to be supreme. I remained quiet to her implication, she may be right... and it made we want to delve into lightning sooner.

"Zuko" Mai murmured, entering my office slowly "You are working late?"  
>"Yes"<p>

"Oh, I was..." she paused her talking and stared at a sleeping Azula on the couch.

"You wanted something, Mai?" I asked her patiently.

"You have been spending a lot of time with Azula" she murmured, her hand going to her stomach.

"Yes" I said signing of a parchment and pushing it carefully away "Yes, I have..."

"Whatever she told you..." Mai spluttered "About... the... child... you cannot believe her. She is a master liar"  
>"Okay" I said calmly and watched her carefully.<p>

"She has said something then?" Mai asked "Is that why you are always away from me, why you wanted separate rooms..."  
>"I moved the wedding to next week-small and intimate. We can do it big after... you are... physically free" I breathed ignoring her panicking "Surely you and Kuya should be happy?"<br>"I am not happy!" Mai yelled and Azula woke up with a start, bolting upright and turning her body automatically to the source of the sound.

"You better be going into labour with that ruckus!" Azula droned "I was enjoying that dream..."

The room went silent, Azula huffing at the tension visible in Mai's every rolled muscle and frantic flicking eyes but opting to curl back on the couch and close her eyes. She may have dozed back of, or awaiting _more_ from Mai...

"This is what you wanted Mai" I whispered to her and she shook her head anxiously. "Every time you were with me, every time you made me beg for you to show me something... that you cared... it was all leading to this. Now you have it, smile and enjoy your reward"

"No" she said softly "You have it... wrong"

"So you didn't want me?" I asked her.

"I wanted you" she murmured, refusing to cry when her eyes held gallons of tears.

"But you have me"  
>"You and I both know I have never had you..." she said "And I know now; I know it in my heart that you belong to someone else..."<br>"Someone else like whom?" I challenged glancing at Azula with my own suspicions.

"That servant girl you go to so readily" she breathed. "But it doesn't matter..."  
>"You are pregnant and we are getting married" I said "That's all that matters"<br>"Too some, Zuko... you have always been what mattered to me, and I forgot that. But... now, I remember it" she whispered, backing away and casting Azula's too still form one last suspicious look "She didn't tell you, I realise..."  
>"She wouldn't involve herself" I told Mai "If she wasn't one hundred percent certain about whatever it is you are afraid of"<br>"Oh" was all she said leaving the room silently.

I watched the door swing to close, my insides twisting at the Mai I had seen before me. The Mai before I had become Fire Lord... the Mai I had loved in my own calm way.

"Azula"

"I am sleeping...try me in the morning" she groaned.

"What did you tell her" I asked her "What did you say to Mai?"  
>"I told her I can't wait for the birth of my nephew" Azula sighed calmly, lying on her back and tucking her hands behind her head "And I hope he has your wonderful eyes"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Do you ever worry about what happened with Ozai?" Azula asks yawning widely as I walk her to her room.

"Constantly" I breathe "Is he dead... isn't he. Is he..."  
>"Safe" she finished and I sighed. It felt stupid to wonder that where ever my hated-violent-evil father was... if he was safe. Like wondering if he was being treated well in Hell...<p>

"Goodnight" I said and she yawned again, murmuring something behind her hand. "Come again...?"  
>"I said..." she said drowsily "Go to bed too and leave over ambitious whelps alone... they'll be the death of you"<p>

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**I know how slow the updates are; I tend to only work on this when I feel inspired enough to avoid botched half hearted chapters.**

**Thank you to all who alerted and reviewed. In response to pm: I have always known that this would be long because I don't rush things-I just didn't realise it would be... very long. I guess it is because at heart an angsty love story.**

**The title of this chapter is really my way of dividing the two sides of the story-Zuko's slow gradual falling for Toph and then this second one which...**

**We will find out more about as we go along. **

**So yeah, it will be long. But as always, responses, suggestions and criticism are loved and a gentle nudge like from Pargh8ii8 to "Stop concentrating on one story, it's not fair! " lol. **

**(Hides in shame)**

**Tj **


	34. The Nature of Storms

The grey mass moved slow and deliberate over the skies. It seemed to bring an all consuming darkness from the lands it had come from; the lands it had conquered. Beneath it everything was covered in a shadow, every light dimmed and every bright carefree sound turned to gloom. Inside it, somewhere in the centre where its heart would have been... a violent light flashed.

"I am not ready for this" I whispered, feeling the odd tightness around my deformed eye when it attempted to widen itself in competition with my normal eye. The storm was coming hard, the luminescent white flashing in the centre of the grim chaotic rain cloud.

"No one ever is" Azula stated airily.

She stood to my left, forward on a dwarfed stone sculpture. The height made her seem magnificent, her stray burgundy silken wrap pushed violently behind her like fabric fire were her black leather belts failed to confine them fully. The epitome of perfect warrior...

And I was her twin, this I had come to realise with our days upon months of training. It had been a year, all plans and prospects either ruined or pushed forward as every nation and being recovered their equilibrium slowly... and now it was over.

Any talk of Ozai and the treacherous Fire Nation was all falling to history. I was ready, as ready as I ever would be... but under the thundering storm that seemed to destroy, when in fact it washed away the sins so freely...

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to have my sins washed away...

My hands clenched and unclenched and in seconds the moisture seeping through their pores turned into a soft tingling electric spike. I stood firm over the ground; my soft boots felt too thin when I could feel the grainy texture of the concrete of the training grounds. We where high up over the sea-watching the east seas quake under the excitement of the storm and the energized dancing of the trees setting everything into a panicked scene.

"I am not ready..." I said again and she turned her head slightly, a soft smile on her face-a challenging one.

"You were not ready to be father, but you had taken all of that in stride" she said. "You were not ready to be husband but you took all of that in stride too. You made such a sacrifice with Mai... with that child, Zuko... and you were not ready"

"I did that because it was the right thing to do" I told her, my breath came out as wild as the winds pushing and shoving at everything in their path.

She nodded her head once in understanding, looked to the seas briefly again and then cast a stern gaze on me.

"You were not ready to let Toph go... but you did it" she said.

I looked to the monster of my nightmares, the wielder of a power that had once tried to destroy me. I looked at the storm cloud and watched as its centre glowed ferociously, that electric power never descending from it once but rebounding off the internal grey walls till it was nothing once more.

"I did that because..." I breathed hoarsely "It was the right thing to do"

The rain came soft and in tiny plentiful droplets. It fell at an odd sharp angle as the winds dictated its direction. I felt it on the naked skin of my upper torso, the warmth of it but I realised that could have been me. It steamed around my form momentarily, a calm sensation before the rain cloud located itself over us-over everything. And soon I could not see any distinction on Azula save for the whipping hair and red combat suit she had on; it changed its dance and its tune and everything was a wild conga of powerful rain and winds.

The thunder that I had been ignoring for fear of its intimidation on my soul, roared in time with my heart beat and then fell silent as I let out rasping breath through the wet air. Had it felt like the right thing at the time? Letting it all go, letting her go? It didn't matter; no one is ever ready...

"Take it..." she whispered desperately "It's yours, Zuko"

I could feel it building up in my finger tips; they wanted to snatch it and embrace it in a cruel and wild violence of domination...

"It's your birthright!" she roared and I moved in time with the three striking heartbeats of the lightning.

That first beat, when it fizzled in a soft warning; I ran my left leg over the ground in a smooth well practiced form. My body was aligned in sharp clear lines with the second move; a move born out of earth bending-and I lifted my right leg up, thighs up in a strong stance-my hands still balled into controlled fists. And by the third one, I unleashed-arching fluidly up in a rigid perpendicular line with my right hand cutting through the air and the retrenched energy from the stance pulling backwards and seducing the lightning from my index finger in a hot climaxing torrent and charging it through my veins.

I coiled down, resetting the stance instinctively to allow the addictive infatuating power to pass through me with loving ease and escape to my left hard and winded back into the sky. As I watched its release; white hot and pure-the thunder roared yet again and this time it was in tune with my own roar.

I could smell the burn of the concrete beneath my feet-the nature of using earth to stabilize what was difficult to control. It felt like loving her, producing lightning... so acutely that I almost feared if it were really the same thing, would I ever have the ease of control as Azula did? Or would I forever be both blessed and cursed to sensually seduce such a never-before-seen high voltage from the skies...?

But the answer had been staring at me in the face for so long. If it was like loving her, then of course I would call on her to tame this passionate lightning somewhat... of course the answer would have been implementing Earth Bending...

"Fire Lord Zuko" Azula murmured in awe "The Grand Master Fire Bender"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

I touched the rolled parchment once more. It was worn by now; the string frayed and the outside paper of it browned and slightly greasy from being held with hot sweaty hands. She had been split between meticulous and frenzied when she had written this to me...

I opened it and studied the symbols that I knew so well, her slanting drawings of each letter slightly shaky at the top and the single smudge on the left were I was sure a tear had fallen. Zuko, was the first reading of the letters. Here there had been precision and care-a testament if I ever needed one that Mai did in fact hold an emotion that could be described as true love for me.

The only problem with that fact was that I did not want to go looking for testament of her love through various oddities ranging from how she wrote my name to the 'Sacrifices' she made to prove it. Surely I should just feel it when she felt it and let it out? Surely my heart should sing to hers as hers did to mine-or was it wept? Or maybe I was being naïve and ignorant about things yet again...

I looked at my name on the parchment again and frowned. Zuko...

While she had been perfecting the letters for my name, I had been standing like an idiot in front of the High Priest and our small gathering of family and Aang-waiting on her. Waiting for her on her day... and she had been busy writing letters.

_Zuko..._

_I cannot do this. I cannot do this to you. My father and _

_Mother do not even know_

_Of the sin I committed. And you are so noble and honourable..._

_How could a wretch like me..._

I paused my reading, sighing deeply and leaning back into my chair-the parchment still held carefully in my hand. I stared at it and felt the wheedling emotion that I now associated with Mai, rising painfully in my heart. When you love someone in some fashion and at the same time they manage to irritate every vice you thought was impossible to get annoyed. I pitied that this was what being betrothed to a distracted man had turned her to, and yet that pity was coated with annoyance and impatience. How I had turned that hard exterior of hers against her and dropped her into a withering mass of confusion and tortured love... I was deeply sorry. But I had withered too when her never-before-seen love for me was some sort of mystic tale-but did I go and act crazy and listen to a controlling mother on how to conduct my relationship...?

_...How could a wretch like me deserve a man like you...?_

_Mai._

If all was forgiven, then I really should burn this parchment up. Turn it into ashes.

I put the string back on carefully and tucked it in the bottom drawer of my desk, locking the key swiftly. I closed my eyes and visualised that emotion once more, when she was missing from the palace estate-apparently pregnant with my child and gone of on some suicidal mission leaving me alone and guilt ridden at the altar, before the texts of Agni's prayer of peace, love and fire...

And I found her in the end.

And she unlocked the shackles that had me indebted to her with that single sentence; "It's not yours Zuko... its no ones"

Xx~xx~xX

"Dear Aang" I breathed and Qie Chang began scribbling away furiously, pausing when I did not continue my dictating immediately-his quill hovering over the parchment slightly impatiently.

"It saddens me that my technological advancements seem to have offended King Kuei somehow, but I cannot pause my progress for fear of the past. What we must fear, my friend... is losing the future. And the future is forward.

No one is ever ready for change."

"Zuko" I finished softly, and stared at the giant portrait of the aggressive golden dragon. "Your friend, in past and future... for always"

Xx~xx~xX

"I helped her with the crib room" Ursa murmurs in a pitched tone-she is excited by this. "We laid it out in maroons, creams and browns. Mai is very set in her Fire Nation ways! She refused any added colours..."  
>"That sounds like Mai" I said to her-trying not to sound bothered by any talk in reference to my one time Fiancé and the illegitimate child I had thought mine. The child was not the issue-I loved him immediately when I had defied the High Priest and put her under my care her regardless, to a lessor title (She would never be Fire Lady or a Queen in the Royal Books-or have contest as my wife in any observation). It took me a time to see her and even longer to see him... but he was so small with plain features and a small cry. And she had stood far from him on that day I had come to tell her I would rescue her nobility and care for her, Ursa telling me she had refused to pick the child up or feed him. Ursa telling me she thought Mai was contemplating leaving the child somewhere... just so her family would take her back.<p>

How could I not care for her then, so pitiful and annoying in the pity she got out of me... And it was politically unstable of the news of my engagement and wedding scandals to be let out. It wasn't a difficult sacrifice... it wasn't a sacrifice at all.

"And the child...?" I asked and Ursa gave me a hard look, I sighed "The boy, Pizo... how is he?"

"She called a helper to tend to him when he cried" Ursa said smiling a little "That was some improvement"  
>The improvement being she did not let him wail for a good few hours before someone took notice, sitting by a window eating strawberries and reading her Holy Book while he wiggled and cried in his cot. All that detachment I had thought shed when she was pregnant and intended to me, back in full swing. Walls were constructed, all excess weight shed to her old narrow form and eyes hard and distant.<p>

Mai...

Xx~xx~xX

"Fire Lord..."Qie Chang said clearly, looking back at the door he had come through anxiously "There is someone... well uhm... it is... Mi"

"What does she want?" I asked him flinging the quill across my table violently. "How did she get to this level? Who are the guards... I want an inquest immediately, Qie Chang"

"Uhm.. yes Fire Lord, of course" he said and I nodded once at him and resumed my writing, picking a fresh white feathered quill from my pen-holder and dipping it carefully into the small jar of ink. He remained standing in front of my desk nervous now, his hands folded behind his back like Azula had shown him-to stop them from fumbling over each other.

"What Qie Chang?" I asked, my voice clear and droning in impatience. I didn't bother looking up at him and continued listing down the top engineers I would be working with on the paper.

"She wants to see you?" he whispered.

"I am busy, she is not supposed to be here..." I said my voice rising slowly "And again, I am Fire Lord. I do not have time for... Mi"

I chuckled lightly to myself, I could hear Uncle in my mind congratulating me on my word play...

"She is outside the door, shall it I turn her away?" he asked.

"Yes"

"Uh, I don't think that would be a good idea" he said.

"Then why did you ask me, Qie Chang" I growled and he gulped when I snapped my gaze up at him "What does she want!?"  
>"She is pregnant!" he said quickly and I froze, dropping the quill still laden with ink on the paper, the ink saturating the paper in an ugly black blob.<p>

"Fine" I breathed. "Let her in"

He walked over to the giant door quickly and knocked once on it. The doors were opened and she stepped in timidly, holding herself as though a gust of wind could blow her away. She followed Qie Chang towards my desk, staring at the various artefacts and paintings around her in awe before pausing dramatically in front of me.

"Well?" I breathed watching her carefully. She gulped and wrapped her arm around herself.

"I am pregnant... Fire Lord Zuko" she whispered, never looking at me and staring at something uninteresting on my desk.

"Where is the pregnancy?" I asked her.

"Here..." she whispered and released her arms from around her, and rubbed her front-illustrating a slight bump under the plain shirt she wore.

"That is either the tiniest eight month pregnancy ever to be carried by a woman" I told her seriously and her eyes widened at the easy calculation I did "Or you are three to four months pregnant with someone else's child?"

"It's..." she began and I cut her.

"Mi..." I sighed. "I respect your ambition. But don't let it do the opposite and bring you down. I gave you your job back and I apologised to you. And now you come with this?"  
>"Uh..."<p>

"Qie Chang..." I breathed waving my hand for her to leave "Please escort Mi out and send the guards to the Security Chief..."  
>"Yes Fire Lord" he said smiling a little "My <em>Lady...<em> if you would please, follow me"

Xx~xx~xX

Sokka's ideas seem grand and impossible... but that's what I am aiming for. The grandeur and impossible to move us out of this way of life-riddled with so many rules and restraining traditions. He says Katara is not happy he is working with me on this. She thinks I am trying to force the world to accept a change when it is not ready for it.

When is the world ever ready for Change? But she might think something else of me, Katara... in her not so subtle way; she thinks I want to rule the world, like my fathers before me. It's a delicate line I walk on but what she doesn't know is that even under all that; the chiefs and kings of the rest of the world secretly crave to evolve. Aang in all his peace and understanding secretly craves the grandeur of the future...

The weather has to be just right for change. The storm clouds coming from the west to the east, the winds wild and ferocious to push our ideas forward and when the heart of the storm cloud flashes and glows with burning power, we reach up and grab what is our birthright.

No one is ever ready for Change, but the storms come regardless-and they will dictate it all to us.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"We will start with the Fire Nation colonies in the Nations, it will show so much..."  
>"It may give off the wrong impression" Sokka interjected. "Fire Nation endorsing improvements over their colonies?"<p>

"It isn't for Fire Nation soldiers, this improvement... Sokka" I said coolly "It would benefit the people residing in the colonies"

"I see Zuko's point" Aang said softly "But I can also see how tricky it is and I think that is what Sokka..."  
>"We agreed it would be tricky a long time ago, and you Sokka agreed you would be no coward in the face of such... trickiness!" I snapped and Aang raised an eyebrow-no doubt reminding me that I had promised to hear all sides before taking any criticism as a direct attack on my ambitions.<p>

"Zuko..."

"Argh" I took a steady sip of the cool water, swallowing slow and deliberate as I allowed the heat crawling over my skin to subside, Aang waiting patiently for me while Sokka pulled on his collar and avoided my gaze. He was, of course-thinking of his tribe. Thinking of Katara and her never ending _sympathies _towards every Settlement that had been made to suffer by Fire Nation soldiers in their oppressive colonies.

"The plans are drawn?" Aang asked.  
>"You know they are Aang" I said tetchily "Approved by my architect..."<br>"They can't be approved by _your_ architect, Zuko" Aang said seriously "They have to be approved by each Nation's council"

"Understood" I said stiffly, holding his gaze. "Anything else Katara sent you two to make sure about?"  
>"Zuko..." Aang warned.<p>

"I thought you had the temper thing sorted" Sokka sighed. "Or does it come with wearing and seeing red all the time?" 

Xx~xx~xX

"I think it would be unwise to broach your plans at Kuei's festivities" Aang exhaled, leaning over the rail next to me-gazing in that somnolent way of his that made me want to ask him if everything was okay with him.

I remained scowling at the setting sun in the distance, that over done vision of the orange-red hues over the seas in front of the Fire Nation Palace. I wouldn't ask him what was wrong because I knew; he had taken it upon himself to worry and stress about things that had nothing to do with him-because he was the _Avatar _did not make him the sacrificial lamb to every unease the world had to offer. Especially my unease...

"If I am even able to attend his _festivities_..." I said after a beat. "I have a feeling I will come down with something very terrible and phlegm-y on the date of the banquet"  
>"He hasn't even set a date yet...!" Aang chuckled. "You can't be serious?"<br>"No, I am not" I conceded, smiling at him a little. "Just..."

"Joking" he finished. "Well, he hasn't set a date but I think it will be..."  
>"When she returns" I finished this time-the air tense and a pained horrid smile stretching my cheeks even though the humour had evaporated.<p>

"You know what the occasion would be to honour, he will announce Takeshi..."  
>"I have an idea" I said quickly, grimacing violently at the mention of the boy's name. "It matters not. You need to stop worrying about it, I am most certainly not!"<br>"That's what you said last time" he grumbled. "You ended up drunk and stumbling all over the place... you puked on your bed. I had to wash it out before Lady Bei Fong's servants got a chance at that most juicy of scoops and plastered it all over the Earth Nation 'Rubble' magazine!"

"You washed my puke?" I raised my good eyebrow and studied Aang carefully-still shorter than I was and it may be like that for the rest of our lives and in rare moments, I was able to catch a glimpse of the fun-loving child of our youth.

"Well, I water bended..."  
>"I almost felt guilty" I sighed disappointed, looking back at the view less irritably with an easier smile on my lips.<p>

"Well, you should feel guilty!" he yelled "You were puking and giving me soliloquy's simultaneously! It was messy!"

"Oh, was it now?" I challenged. "Well, as long as you didn't need blue glowing eyes to clean me up, I'd say it wasn't that bad!"

Xx~xx~xX

"I personally think it's a war between..."  
>"There is no war, Azula" I sigh and Ursa smiles patiently at her. She rolls her eyes and exhales an impatient breath.<p>

"Feud or whatever you want to call it..." she waved her hand indifferently in the air "But the Water Nation is just trying to gain majority control and that is why..."  
>"That can't be right, Azula" Ursa smiles "The Water Nation are content in their lands at the North and South Pole's respectively"<p>

"Content with living on giant pieces of ice cubes?" Azula snorted "Please! They hear the Fire Nation is making plans to endorse and sponsor the renovation and evolvement of infrastructures in _our own _Colonies..."  
>"Colonies that are in the other Nation's lands" Ursa points out and Azula rolls her eyes again, ignoring the statement completely.<p>

"...and of course they get _jealous!_" Azula breathes, rising from the couch impassioned and pacing in front of Ursa and I "Of course they want a piece of the pie!"  
>"They are not jealous or trying to get a piece of pie" I sigh "They are just wary..."<br>"Paranoid" Azula snarls "Paranoid and Prejudiced!"

"You of all people speaking of _prejudice?_" I chuckle.

"Oh, this just stinks of that wench" Azula shook "We want to take over..."  
>"Improve and fix..." I correct but she continues fluidly<p>

"...the colonies once more..." Azula frowns "And they feel all _threatened_ and _sensitive!_"

"It's a delicate situation" I explained.

"You have to go to Kuei's banquet" she says finally, looking at me seriously "You have to go and keep the plans in motion. Don't let the Avatar's wench get in the way..."  
>"It really isn't all the Water Nation that is against this" I explain "Sokka is on board with the engineers on this one project, he just has a few hang-ups understandably because of Katara but..."<br>"That retard is working with the engineers?" Azula gasped "Every building will crumble under such idiocy!"

I rubbed my burnt eye, shaking my head drained "He is not working on the infrastructure and building plans, Zula... he is working on other things that involve..."  
>"Oh good" she said quickly, dropping back onto her couch theatrically "I shudder to think what a Water Nation citizen's idea of a building is; Ice Sculpture's don't really fair well in this heat..."<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"You do know that there will be obstacles" Aang says.

"When are there never?" I grumbled.

"Sokka being with you on this..." Aang sighed "Does not mean the other Water Nation elders will be and I am more than certain they will be quick to join their fewer votes with the Earth Nation if Kuei or his aristocracy go against this"

"I have thought about that"

"Have you now?" he smiled "I hear you are bending lightning?"  
>"Where did you hear that?" I chuckled.<p>

"The Queen Mother" he sighed "I really didn't think..."  
>"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Aang" I scoffed<p>

"No, I mean with everything..." he said quickly "You and then uhm, Toph and now this thing with Mai..."  
>"Azula helped" I said quickly, not planning on heading onto those uncharted territories with him.<p>

"So..." he stammered and I groaned-he was braving the uncharted territories with his nosey Avatar self. "About Mai and your... engagement or is it marriage, I never really... got what happened and uhm, are you single?"  
>"Why, you want to propose to me?" I asked him stonily, but he laughed at the hard cynicism regardless.<p>

"How is she?" he asked seriously. "How is the child"  
>"Well, fed and protected under my name" I said.<p>

"So you are divorced?" he asked, his grey eyes large and concerned on my face.

"No, I am not"

"You are married to her...?"  
>"We were never really married in the end" I said impatiently "You were there Aang"<p>

"Just... there was no news" he stuttered, staring at his hands "I mean, I thought..."  
>"I do not have the luxury of gossip" I said "What is my business, remains so"<br>"Well, that's uhm... lovely"

"There is a point to this conversation" I breathed "Spit it out..."  
>"Toph..."<br>"Of course" I groaned.

"No, uhm..." he sighed, raising his hands defensively "Toph and Takeshi... well, you know where that is going. And there is Katara and I... I just wanted to know if you were okay with it?"  
>"Okay with what?" I asked hotly "Aang... spit it out!"<p>

"We are to be married!" he squeaked. "I mean, I am going to ask her... formerly when... after Toph and Takeshi because well, I don't want her thinking I felt rushed and with you and Mai it would have been insensitive to just..."  
>"Aang" I said sternly, holding his shoulder "Mai and me's failed relationship has no impact on the joy I feel in seeing you-my friend-happy"<p>

"Oh" was all he managed, blushing slightly.

"I am at peace" I explained. "Well, I am... content"

"So uhm, Katara has cousins and if you are single..."  
>"I'd expect that from Sokka, Aang" I growled and he laughed.<p>

"So do I get to see the talent of the Fire Lord, Grand Master Fire Bender..." he asked, visibly more at ease "Or are we going to stand here and stare at the sea for the thousandth time, talking about _feelings_?"

"Your petulance grates me!" I laughed, swinging my arms and loosening them "Prepare to run to the Spirit World for cover..."

"Do I get to Air Bend?" he asked.

"No"

"Air Bending it is..."


	35. Wonderland

**WONDERLAND**

The tall figure came into view from around the corner. He moved slowly, taking deliberate steps over the cobbled road and remaining in the cool shadows that hugged the walls of the narrow buildings. He was almost unnoticeable in his stealth, a moving silhouette merging with the shades of the awnings of each store-front he passed.

A strange sight... for he appeared to be a physical shadow running from the harsh light the breaks in the awnings gave; a sight that drew the eye momentarily but was quickly disregarded. The cloaked figure watched from under his hood the various movements around him; from the fishmongers laying out their catch, fruit vendors pushing carts laden with ripe sweet produce to the thick women carrying baskets and vases-all of these beings bustling and moving unreservedly and with undemanding concern under the sun. He stood at the corner of the Tea Shop, having reached his destination finally after doing his tour of the little corner of the vast Earth Nation town and watched the peace and quiet pride moving freely before him.

Such peace could be spread easily amongst Nations, he thought... if they would just merge...

Iroh's second tea shop is not as effortless (or sparse, depending on ones feelings on structure and furnishings) as the initial. There is certain quaintness to it though, he thinks as he raises a hand to touch the rim of the green umbrella shading a table. The umbrellas cover the left side of the outside while the right side is bare and showcases the façade. Behind the window, trays of cupcakes and special tea's are on display.

He enters slowly, his eyes stinging at the sudden and distinct change in light; he squints, trying to adjust to the muted green and warm umber of the indoors from the bright lively day outside. He moves easily through the space, garnering a few stares from the patrons; a tall looming hooded figure walking majestically through the simple comfortable shop was bound to bring in looks, he knew this... But he knew more importantly that a Fire Lord would do much worse damage to the inquisitiveness of this uncomplicated hidden world.

"Excuse me?" he murmurs to a waiter. The man pauses his slow counting of the money and turns his head in surprise to him. He squints up into the shadow of the hood, trying to distinguish the hidden face past one burning almost luminous eye and a dimmer amber version. "Is the owner in?"

"Uh..." he looks back to a closed door then surveys him with pursed lips "Yes, he is in. Who may I say is looking for him?"

"Tell him..." Zuko breathed, removing the hood, and leaning casually on the counter top with a humoured smile on his lips "Only Jasmine and Honey tea brewed by a Dragon General can satisfy a Fire Lord"

Xx~xx~xX

"...I thought you would be with me on this" Zuko frowned stirring the tea, alternating between clockwise and anti-clockwise "I thought you of all people would understand? Look what living here has brought you, what you have learnt..."

"Zuko, I see your dream" Iroh murmured ignoring Zuko and adding sugar to Zuko's already honeyed tea "I do see it, but you need to understand that although Ozai is in the past... he lives on in nightmares"  
>"For the last bloody time, I am not...!" he began but Iroh cut him with a raised hand.<p>

"You need to get over that, kid" he said in a dry tone "Yes, I know you aren't Ozai but the rest of the world tends to formulate their own opinions"  
>"And all the more reason for me to prove them wrong!"<br>"You aren't listening Zuko" Iroh sighed "This isn't about you 'taking over the world'..."  
>"Because I am not taking over the world!" Zuko stated morosely.<p>

"Listen, Zuko" Iroh breathed pursing his lips "I am old, I'll lose my train of thought like a drifting leaf in the harsh winds of..."  
>"... You were on something about this not being about taking over the world" Zuko said impatiently puckering his lips after sipping the too sweet tea but braving another sip again.<p>

"You are certain I wasn't telling you about my new tea flavour?" Iroh smiled.

"Iroh" Zuko warned.

"Right, I know you aren't taking over the world and maybe Avatar Aang knows that..."  
>"But Katara and her mummy issues" Zuko sighed, sinking in his chair and recalling the anger that arose in the easily underestimated but formidable Water Bender when it came to her mother and family.<p>

"That is very hypocritical, wouldn't you say?" Iroh smiled "Not to mention insensitive... On a separate topic, are you hanging out with Azula?"

"We do training together" he murmured absently "And gardening..."  
>"Gardening..." Iroh said thoughtfully, trying to imagine his demented niece wielding a spade and garden fork –the image still seeming terrifying in his imagination "If I were you I would check your flower patch, Zuko; the only planting Azula knows of is dead bodies!"<br>"She is rather good at it"

"Planting dead bodies?" Iroh snorted "No surprise there!"

"I meant gardening" Zuko sighed "Uncle, you are drifting like a leaf..."  
>"Oh, yes... Aang and you know what your intentions are but the rest of the public..." he paused sipping his tea "Well, they will be a little... nervous. You need to understand that. Stop trying to force them to see your view"<br>"But I have to force them!" Zuko hissed slamming his fist on the table and causing his tea cp to shake and tea to splatter the table "Their ignorant and... don't know what's good for them!"

"How is Pizo?"

"Huh?"  
>"Pizo" Iroh repeated.<p>

"He is... sitting" Zuko said slowly "And... making these sounds... cute"

"Hmm, Ursa said there hasn't been much progress with Mai"

"Her family disowned her" Zuko murmured "She is dealing with it"

"And then you refused to..."

"Don't go there old man!" Zuko growled "Was it not you who once said trust was pure gold in relationships?"  
>"There you go being a hypocrite again" Iroh said mystically "And in another unrelated topic; you should see Toph. She really took this touring the Earth Nation thing so passionately! Came back with a new haircut and gave Poppy a heart attack!"<p>

"Her mother was crying for days for that lustrous hair..." Iroh said and then smiled, watching his nephew closely "But I must say she looks mean and lean, I wouldn't mess with her if I were... some people..."

"I don't think I have gained anything from this discussion except diabetes" Zuko grumbled, swerving away from talking about Toph fluidly. He peered into his tea cup and saw the soaked brown sugar sitting guiltily at the bottom of the cup "I can feel my teeth rotting"

"You got half-priced tea from your Uncle?" Iroh offered and Zuko stared at him in disbelief.

"Half priced?" he frowned "I thought it was free!"

"The sugar was free" Iroh smiled and then added tutting "You have to be the first cheapskate Fire Lord, but I guess it's better than a tyrannical one or a crazy vindictive..."  
>"One doesn't expect to <em>pay<em> when being given tea by their _Uncle_...!" Zuko snapped.

"How does _one_ expect their _Uncle_ to make _some_ _money_ then?" Iroh chuckled "I have to build my pension up, I don't trust your Secretary of Treasury and his 'There is a Recession' song"

Xx~xx~xX

"I seriously don't want to be here..." Sokka grumbled folding his arms over his chest and pouting hard, his lower lip jutting out and brow furrowed mercilessly.

"Sokka, this is imperative to your career" Aang said seriously "You want to branch out into this and Zuko can help you immensely with that, but the true experience and work load lies in the Earth Nation so..."  
>"Yeah, yeah, yeah" Sokka breathed irritably "Imper...<em>whatever<em> and grow up. Katara spewed the same thing... but her lecture translated to 'Spy on Zuko for me'"  
>"I got the same speech" Aang said absently "Except it didn't really have words but involved withholding..."<br>"Dude, that's my sister!" Sokka said quickly.

"I was going to say ice-cream after dinner?" Aang blushed hard.

"Seriously?" Sokka grimaced "Ice-cream after dinner in the South Pole?"  
>"Uh?" Aang stammered and then said loudly-frantically "Oh, look... Takeshi is hosting us!"<p>

"Takeshi..."Sokka murmured, gazing through narrowed eyes ahead at the slightly distinguishable form of Takeshi standing with two servants "I liked him, didn't I?"  
>"Yes, you did..." Aang breathed, picking up their pace down the corridor and glanced anxiously at Sokka to walk less sloth like and keep up "I am going to leave you with him a bit, the two of you can go and meet with Zuko while I go and talk to the Earth Nation Villagers society on behalf of Zuko"<p>

"Why on behalf of Zuko?" Sokka asked

"Can you imagine Zuko talking to a bunch of grumpy old men who remember Sozin's invasion, trying to convince them that his plans to advance their city aren't an invasion...?"

"See you later" Sokka sighed.

Xx~xx~xX

"You seem down" Takeshi murmured. He had grown noticeably, his skin clearing and gait not so lanky and clumsy. He kept a slight fuzz over his upper lip that Sokka was having difficulty not comparing with his jaws much bushier mane. Tainted with mild arrogance, he kept glancing at Takeshi's face and making sure the fuzz didn't turn into anything magnificent.

"Yeah" Sokka sighed glaring at a statue of a frog-dingo spouting water through its open muzzle "I broke up with Suki"

"Oh..." Takeshi said "Do you want to talk..."  
>"No, not really" Sokka sighed "What I want to do is <em>forget about it<em>!"

"Oh we can do just that..."Takeshi murmured "The 'Week of Festivities' here in Ba Sing Se will do just that..."

"This week of festivities is what's making this the last place I want to be..."

Takeshi remained quiet, uneasy about Sokka's mood when he had been excited about the week long schedule of partying and fun with him and more especially Zuko. It was hard enough convincing them to put up with his youth, but now to pull them away from any intentions of _boring business..._

"I mean..." Sokka huffed ignoring Takeshi's frantic lip biting as he saw the chariot pull up at the front-still worrying on how to ensure Sokka didn't ruin Zuko's already perpetually surly mood with his break-up hang ups. Sokka kicked his boots as he walked and sighed wearily "I have had to throw myself into the Technological Advancement Programme so I can hold my own in Zuko's branch of Project..."

"Growing up sucks" Sokka pouted and Takeshi grimaced as he saw the servant open the chariots door, Zuko's royal robe flowing out easily.

"Sokka, come on..."Takeshi said quickly, looking at Sokka imploringly "It's a happy occasion... you know, to love your neighbour!"

"I could do with loving my neighbour right now" Sokka grumbled "Loving his wife..."

"I know of something better than your neighbour's wife!" Takeshi said quickly, his thoughts a flurry of edginess, excitement and recklessness "And it's in a place men go to... to... to lose themselves to... sin"  
>"Sin?" Sokka murmured, gazing at Takeshi's still innocent looking face contemplatively "Like, alcohol and women?"<br>"I guess that's what the Cooks meant when..."  
>"You heard of this place from cooks?" Sokka snorted.<p>

"Hey, it exists... that's what matters!" Takeshi defended. "It's dangerous and dark and..."

"Sounds like my kind of place!" Sokka breathed-Takeshi glanced quickly at the Fire Lord's quick step through the garden towards the covered walkway.

"Yeah, but it's dangerous..."Takeshi murmured

"Danger is my middle name!" Sokka sang.

"I mean, we should go with someone who can hold their own, you know someone like..."

"Like Aang?"

"No, not Aang!" Takeshi said quickly.

"But he is the Avatar..." Sokka said, looking at Takeshi suspiciously "What can be safer than that?"

"Firstly, he is a monk. Sinful dangerous places filled with alcohol and women aren't his idea of heaven" Takeshi said "And secondly, aren't you the least bit curious to see a drunk dragon?"

"A drunken dragon...?"  
>"Zuko" Takeshi said impatiently, skipping forward "Just to see if he does have a wild side after a few"<p>

"Hmm" Sokka placed a finger on his chin "We should go with Zuko; he is safer and would be a little bit more..."  
>"That's what I was..."<br>"And we shouldn't invite Aang-he'll ruin our fun" Sokka finished ignoring Takeshi "I am brilliant!"

"There's the Fire Lord" Takeshi murmured rolling his eyes and walking quickly forward "Hurry, we can't keep him waiting!"

"You didn't run to me..." Sokka grumbled, moving lazily forward and staring at Takeshi's half skip half run towards a charging Zuko.

He watched amused and a little jealous as Takeshi forced Zuko into a rigid hug before taking two steps back and patting the Fire Lord's arm energetically. A little satisfaction squashed his irritation at being 'second favourite' when he saw Zuko's badly concealed look of indignation and dangerous aggravation at being 'touched'.

"I seriously don't get it, does he realise that he might get burnt...?" Sokka sighed, walking towards them with a quicker pace. "And when had a Fire Bender been cooler than someone from the South Pole!"

Xx~xx~xX

"...so you see how beneficial a united Capital would be to spreading our cultures and bridging any gaps..." Zuko murmured, ignoring Sokka's yawning "I am not suggesting we squash out our traditions; we could still have rural area's that are distinct to each nation but the Capital would create a system of vast exponential growth to benefit everyone..."

"Yes, yes..." Takeshi agreed nodding his head, his eyes shining "Absolutely brilliant and noble, Fire Lord Zuko...!"  
>Zuko sighed in satisfaction, smiling a little and garnering a huge beaming grin from Takeshi "If I have your understanding, I am sure I can help to enlighten the rest of... the world"<p>

"Sokka, its brilliant isn't it?" Takeshi murmured, not looking at Sokka.

"Yeah, yeah..." Sokka snapped "Zuko is doing his Fire Lord thing. Now, on to more important matters..."  
>"What's more important than helping the world?" Zuko frowned.<p>

"Uh, researching on the world you want to help!" Takeshi said quickly before Sokka could let tactless words escape his clumsy lips. "Touring Ba Sing Se... seeing how the city works and its people; you know, the City is much bigger than the inner upper side you normally come to"

"Oh yes..." Zuko agreed "My Uncle's Tea Shop is..."  
>"That is but a quarter of its area you have visited, Fire Lord!" Takeshi grinned "There is so much more... if you want, I can be your personal tour guide"<br>"You never offered to be my tour guide" Sokka frowned.

"I meant both of you..."Takeshi spluttered "But... we have to uhm, go quietly. My father is very controlling and demanding when it comes to his events"

"I don't want to offend King Kuei..." Zuko began.

"Nonsense...!" Takeshi smiled "He has the aristocracy keeping him busy and I know of the village chiefs seeking an audience. A whole lot of cultural events to include into the program... he won't miss us"

"Aang would" Zuko murmured.

"And Toph" Sokka pointed out and Takeshi's face hardened slightly. "And I think we would be a little noticeable..."

"I have no problems blending into civilisation" Zuko growled, Sokka staring at his slanted burnt angry eye.

"Right, I can imagine" Sokka breathed. "So we are doing this? My 'Goodbye Suki' party?"  
>"Why are you saying goodbye to Suki?" Zuko asked. "I thought you thought she was the most beautiful thing since some <em>moon<em>..."

"Don't talk about things you don't know about your Grumpiness!" Sokka growled "Anyway, how is the not-your-wife and your not-your-kid?"

"Shut up"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

An ornate chandelier hung from the high ceiling, held easily by a visibly gold plated chain connected to a bust a few millimetres in thickness obtruding from plastered ceiling. The diamond shaped crystals tinkered lightly, rays of multi-coloured light fleeting over the disproportioned perimeter of the light fixture and hitting the black and white terrazzo in sparkling streaks.

He was pleased with the chandelier-it was most beautiful. The perfect accent to the stone hardness.

"It still seems so... formal" King Kuei sighed, spinning around on his heels under his new favourite _thing _and re-checking the ball room. The seats were placed neatly around the many round tables, covered with cerise flowers and white bits of fluff.

"The jesters would be in. Erm, Iroh managed to organise flame-throwers and someone to fire-proof everything..." Poppy murmured, her lips pursed and eyes twinkling. "And your bear cub too"

"Right" Kuei smiled "This shall be for the Nobles?"  
>"Of course; we are serving <em>rare <em>delicacies and imported winery and whiskey in here-" Poppy said haughtily, thinking on the way her mother had told her of a commoners appetite for a certain type of _medicine_ "The rest can mingle... in the lower level; there will be home-brewed beer and some 'educated whiskey' for them"  
>"Oh, Poppy!" Kuei laughed "Did I not hear that your daughter has been spending her nights sleeping in dorms with <em>village <em>Earth Benders?"  
>"My daughter?" Poppy grinned back at the King, her hands clasped delicately in front of her and giving her a counterfeit approachable look and eyes shining with a sort of pleasured arrogance that suggested a precognitive idea of grandeur, standing in magnificent view of the bustling workers-standing beside the <em>King<em> "Your daughter in-law, My King"

"Let's hope it all goes smoothly" King Kuei breathed, hands folded behind his back and a stern gaze directed at the large ballroom -turned- banquet with its garish loud decorations that dimmed out the terrazzo and exquisite chandelier by the end of its loving hosts obsessive décor skill "The Ball... and this engagement. Have you heard of the Fire Lord's marriage?"  
>"I asked Toph about it but it seems she doesn't know much"<p>

"She wouldn't..." King Kuei said in that hushed tone people who knew something that they suspect no one else knew used "Because apparently it didn't make it past their 'Fire Nation Monks'. They never are able to _not _have secrets... last time a party was held there they had bombs for fireworks"  
>"Well, it was partly Earth Nation extremists who..."<br>"And then their Fire Lord gets kidnapped, Ursa is found and all sorts of scandals!" Kuei continued ignoring Poppy and tutting, shaking his head in disapproval. "They have more fun than we do and yet they all look like a bunch of bored mental patients. Well, at least they don't have a rising obesity level like my Nobility"

"Takeshi is joining the Noble Parley?" Poppy stuttered, unsure on how to take Kuei's mixed feelings of the Fire Nation-unsure how to talk about anything that didn't impact on her in some way. It felt safer to stay on track-she wanted to stay on track.

"He is very bright, my boy" King Kuei said in a singing voice, picking a berry off a platter whisked in front of him "Much brighter than I ever was-or could hope to be. Toph is honoured that Takeshi has chosen her?"  
>"Very honoured!" Poppy said breathily and King Kuei nodded in satisfaction.<p>

"Good" King Kuei stated "I was beginning to worry with her love for her Bending keeping her away from him"  
>"She was touring..."<br>"Not to say she hasn't influenced so much as it is" King Kuei cut her "But hopefully she will _remain here _and take part with her _intended _on the Parley? What an honourable task; no woman is ever been asked of this"  
>"No... uh, yes" Poppy coughed "Honourable"<br>"And the Avatar has proposed a new board to do with all the nations rulers" Kuei sighed, almost in boredom "But I told him I am swamped with the festivities... we may have to discuss that on a later date. Very ambitious the Avatar..."

"Yes"

"So we are agreed?" Kuei finished, rounding on a startled Poppy, who blinked dumbly.

"Agreed?"  
>"Toph and my Takeshi will announce as is" he smiled "And they will be my representatives at any board-I can't stand those goddamned meetings! Oh, and how lovely it would be if they entered together... such a show; Earth Nation Nobles get engaged and see it through, none of that hot fire scandal!"<br>"Of..." Poppy nodded slowly "Course"  
>"This is why you are a formidable woman, Poppy! A true Feminist!" King Kuei finished, clapping his hands elegantly and twirling under the sparkling light-fixture, his shining emerald robe flaying with him "Now, run along and pick out your most frilly grown for the evening"<p>

Xx~xx~xX 

"I do not doubt that Poppy will ensure her daughter complies" Spa murmured, standing rigidly next to her husband-her expression just as stiff. "It is the part of being wife that worries me"  
>"What do you mean?" Kuei asked-he wasn't really interested in this conversation; he watched the sculptures and various entertainment pieces being moved in front of him with obvious longing. Spa, as he well knew, would allow him his fun once she knew all their ends were tied. That was something he learnt at the earliest stages of their marriage-as long as all formal business was taken care of, Spa didn't care what he did and who he did it with. He had just better not embarrass her in any way, or let his business surface past giant bears and a penchant for different shades of pink cushions...<p>

"She is strong" the Lady Spa murmured-she would have preferred being referred to as Queen but unfortunately Kuei's infinitely irritating mother was still alive "Too strong. She is putting up with us"  
>"Putting up with us!" Kuei snarled "Us?"<br>"Yes, us" Spa repeated in the same even tone that suggested impatient boredom. "You told Poppy that she can be on the Parley committee with the rest of the Nobles?"  
>"Yes, but I really didn't understand the point of that!" Kuei sulked.<p>

"You hate meetings..." Spa said in her parched tone, her expression neutral-Kuei nodded his head at that "And she will not comply with sitting around folding tea napkins like her mother does"

"And she is intelligent enough" Spa finished "Her and my son will be formidable in securing either your vote in the next elections or having themselves nominated... She speaks and relates to the plebs"  
>"Always a good thing" Kuei sighed. "Can I return not?"<p>

"You may go" Spa sighed and Kuei huffed, moving quickly back to the front of the garden and immediately roaring orders as if to make up for the last fifteen minutes of quiet.

She watched him silently for a second; swinging his hands this way and that way and pushing paper sculptures away from heaters and roaring at the workers. That was what King Kuei loved and she had known it since before her mother and his mother had constructed their engagement. He had minimum interest in the affairs of his nation unless they had a direct impact on him.

But Takeshi was different-and it was because he was her son and she had ensured it would swing in an opposite direction from the Royal Families strange genes. As much as peace was wonderful, power was _pleasurable_. And didn't they all know that the Fire Nation couldn't keep a straight line of peace as much as they couldn't do without their _absolute monarchy._

A nation is never more dangerous when it has no heir to it.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

In all honesty, Zuko thought he probably knew that Takeshi and Sokka were not really taking him on a tour of the city to support his plans. No, he knew that this had nothing to do with his ambitions at all. But he didn't mind, because after spending a good chunk of the year with these things weighing on his minds so heavily that at times he couldn't sleep with the thought of rejection...

It felt good to be a young man moving through the city with two friends, without a care in the world.

It also felt good to not have to worry about any awkward meetings with girls who had stolen your hearts and laid your virginity to rest...

"We have to go by foot" Takeshi murmured, knocking on the carriage door lightly before smiling a little at Zuko. "The driver said we needed to find an alleyway to get through to Dar Sa Pour, which is the town before Bloed Khan..."

"By foot?" Sokka frowned.

"Uhm, we entered through the upmarket so..." Takeshi murmured and then swayed a little as the carriage came to an abrupt halt, the sounds of the evening filtering through the curtain. "So we have to cut across the alley you see, and then maybe in Dar Sa Pour we can get a ride?"  
>"Sound fine to me" Zuko said his face impassive.<p>

"But I mean if you don't want to walk Fire Lord..." Takeshi began and Sokka groaned.

"Takeshi" Zuko said sternly "I have feet. Sokka too, we can walk. You have never done this before and I am more than certain you have never been downtown of _anywhere_"  
>"And you have?" Sokka asked.<p>

"I have" Zuko said, peering behind the curtain-their driver was waiting impatiently for them to emerge and give him his money. "And trust me; going in with a four coin carriage in any down town is a sure way to find trouble"

"But that's why we have you" Sokka breathed.  
>"You think I take the title' Glorified Bodyguard' with open arms" Zuko snapped "We are all me here, warriors at that and you had better expect to cover your own face! The Fire Lord playing Bodyguard..."<br>"Aang would have done it with out complaining" Sokka sulked.

"Sokka, you can wield a sword" Zuko breathed gnashing his teeth.

"But I will be drunk!" Sokka hissed "I could cut my-"

"Argh, just get out..." Zuko snapped, pushing the door open while simultaneously pulling the large grey cloak over his body and letting the hood fall over his head.

The night was chasing the day away, and the large buildings-most of the Earth Nation buildings had multiple stories by now, he realised-shadows danced over every patch of light still escaping through their heights.

He stood still in the road, just in front of the carriage, the hood pulled over his face and giving him free purchase of the gritty outside that was the outskirts of 'Up-Market'. Here, the stalls had changed from curved little structures to something rickety and pulled together with clay-cement and straw.

"No benders" Zuko murmured, surveying the slow moving traffic and plenty of loitering figures.

"Yes" their driver said-a thick man with a bearded shiny face and large round eyes that gave him a surprised look "The Benders tend to move quickly up the line" he cocked his head in the direction they had come from.

"We are going to Bloed Khan" Zuko stated.

"Ah, so you going through Dar Sa Pour?" the man grinned revealing one golden front tooth. "Yeah, you clean and rosy cuts might want to hold on to your purses when going through Dar Sa Pour" he paused, frowning at Zuko's height but when Takeshi stumbled out with a moaning Sokka behind him, his grin returned wider "And after Dar Sa Pour you might want to hold onto your lives. Men have a tendency of misplacing their minds in Bloed Khan... it's your lives you want to keep an eye on!"

"Right" Zuko said-his grating voice irking the man in the indifference that reverberated through it.

"You don't believe me?" the driver asked, rounding on the young men-Sokka and Takeshi had located themselves around Zuko.

"I didn't say that" Zuko sighed "I said 'Right'"  
>"Boy, you wear the garments of a Royal Earth Nation servant..." the Driver squinted his eyes, trying to capture the remaining light to make a more accurate distinction of Takeshi's shining emerald robe escaping his still-being-worn grey cloak. Takeshi froze momentarily-an impetuous thought to correct the man that he was speaking to the crown Prince overtaking his mind, but then he realised that this was a better conclusion.<p>

"...So you probably one of them 'Well-Off-Types'" the Driver cackled and Zuko concluded that he really didn't like this particular man-no matter how much of an effort he was making to understand 'textured people'. "Yeah, you kids heading into trouble"  
>"Here is your money" Zuko grumbled, plonking a little leather bag into the mans surprised podgy hands "You can be on your way"<br>"Well..." the man bounced the bag suspiciously in his hand before stowing it away, satisfied "You can be on _your _way, and you better make your way back...!" he laughed again and went to the front of the carriage to tend to the ostrich-horses, laughing in intervals as though the thought of three _sheltered men (_although it really was one, Zuko and Sokka may have laid down their swords but certain things could never be unlearnt) taking a trip to down town Bloed Khan was the beginning of a crude joke.

And maybe it was in some ways...

"Oh, don't let him get to you" Takeshi murmured to the Fire Lord-although his own facial expression held no conviction to his statement "I mean, we are just popping in and out"  
>"Getting a feel of things" Sokka added grandly, watching their one transport through three and a half hours away from the majestic place weave through the crowded potholed filled road.<p>

"I have a bad feeling about this" Zuko breathed, looking around him at the many tattered clothed loitering people pushing their way through the dimming light.

"Dude, have you ever had a _good feeling_?" Sokka scoffed.

"When..." Zuko looked up to his left in thought and then gave up "Lets move, we need to at least try return here just as the sun dips down. If he says Dar Sa Pour is worse than this then I don't think King Kuei would appreciate me letting his son sleep in such a place"  
>"I am not a child" Takeshi growled with uncustomary violence-surprising Sokka and gaining a cautious look from Zuko. "I mean... I am not a kid; I can look after my self just as well as you two can"<p>

"Right" Zuko breathed in the same manner he had answered the driver. "I just want to make it clear; I didn't agree to this to be any ones baby sitter so do not get drunk Sokka" he said sternly, stepping forward to the Water Tribe Warrior threateningly "And Takeshi... stay at my side"  
>"Gladly" Takeshi breathed.<p>

"Well then" Sokka sighed, stowing his blades and boomerang under his cloak "Lead the way young Master Takeshi"

Xx~xx~xX

"Takeshi..." Zuko murmured low, the boy-man jumping at the sound of his subdued gravel voice cutting easily through the shouting and violent bustling of Dar Sa Pour "Do not make eye contact with people. Especially eye contact followed by smiling"  
>"Why?" Takeshi asked, turning his head fully to look at Zuko's hidden face. His greenish muddy eyes were wide and sincere on Zuko's shadowed face.<p>

"Give it a second..." Zuko sighed; listening to the swaggering walk of the thin rebel-looking man they had just passed, the man Takeshi had absently bumped and then proceeded to smile widely at in apology.

"Hey, Pansy!" the man shouted "What the hell is your problem?"

Sokka and Zuko stopped abruptly at Takeshi's sides-they had hoped that this wouldn't happen in silent palaver, but such things were as predictable as the rise and fall of the sun. Takeshi's step spluttered before stopping in an odd seesaw motion.

"Is he talking to me?" Takeshi asked, turning his head once more to look to Zuko.

"It was an accident, my Goodman" Sokka called out, turning around and waving a hand at the man-with two of his own companions who were easily the same height as the Fire Lord and more ostentatiously muscled. Zuko and Takeshi remained still and did not turn around to acknowledge the man and his goons-opting instead to tremble slightly (Takeshi) and scan out exit routes and possible options that would involve a quick close-combat scuffle if needed (Zuko).

"I wasn't talking to you!" the man growled, pausing the tottering of a drunken man by the side of the non-existent road (it was more soil than hard paving). Four more people paused with the swaying man.

"He is my brother" Sokka sighed-as though the fact of Takeshi being his brother was a grave injustice by Zuko's 'Agni'. "He has an awkward gait thanks to falling of an ostrich-horse"  
>"Well, then..." The man sneered "Can you tell <em>ostrich-horse bitch...<em>" Takeshi took in a hard breath at that and Zuko's hand gripped his own quickly "To get over here and apologize"  
>"Apologize for what!" Takeshi hissed, trying to ignore the Fire Lord's hot hand gripping his with easy strength-trying to ignore how somehow this man was calling out his manhood. "It was you who was walking like a crab-rat!"<br>"What did you say boy...!"  
>"I said..." Takeshi turned around shaking Zuko's hand free and Zuko groaned. "You walk like a crab-rat!"<br>"Boy, if you weren't so obviously young...!" The man threatened and Sokka sighed-wondering if he had been this cocky when he was young.

"He meant no harm" Zuko breathed, turning around too and stepping casually but deliberately to Takeshi's side. "We mean you no harm"  
>"Hmm" the man breathed, his sidekicks rolling their arms. "Your friend should learn to watch were his <em>elders <em>are walking"

"I must've missed that lesson in 'Thug Etiquettes'" Takeshi snarled and things turned drastically worse as a loose circular barrier of people formed around them and the skinny man's entourage doubled too four.

"What?" the Thin man asked, sticking his long face out and widening his eyes expectantly "Boy, you better watch that gob of yours-if it weren't for your elder brothers who are wary of me..."

"We want no trouble" Zuko grated, folding his arms over his chest "We are just..."  
>"New to this town?" the Thin man offered and Sokka nodded. "Well, why didn't you say so!"<br>"See, Takeshi..." Sokka reprimanded "Calm and mature is the initial way..."  
>"That would be a visitors fee of fifteen coin" the Thin man grinned and Sokka yelled 'What!'<p>

"Here" Zuko reached behind his cloak and revealed a leather pouch before throwing it at the thin man "Visitor's fee"

The man bounced the pouch up and down thoughtfully before handing it to the man at his left.

"Okay, that pays for two" he grinned cunningly.

"But that's more than fifteen..."Zuko began and then sighed, this had nothing to do with anything more than pushing a thin man with a complex too forcefully and being with a young man who had something to prove. He was in no mood for either, unfortunately to both their egos.

He reached into his pocket but Takeshi stilled his hand before taking coin from his own pocket and tossing it to the man. "Here" Takeshi breathed "I really should have been watching my own step as well as yours. I apologize"  
>"Hmm" the Thin man grinned "Well then, you are young. You have a lot to learn. Enjoy Dar Sa Pour... and have a good evening!" <p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Tell me why we didn't kick their butts again?" Sokka asked, swirling his glass of beer absently.

"There were more than four of them" Zuko stated "The first thing you should know about being a warrior, Takeshi..." he looked at Takeshi sternly, who returned the gaze with a solemn expression of attentiveness "Is that fighting should be your last resort"  
>"You used to fight us at every opportunity" Sokka scoffed.<p>

"Used to" Zuko sighed, leaning back into the thin stool of the bar "Until I became a true Warrior"  
>"Take it from a natural born warrior" Sokka said loudly, over the sound of an underdressed woman screeching what was supposed to be a song in front of the crowded bar "Fighting should be your second instinct, not your first. You see what I was doing-giving him two option; we could be civil or we could be... uncivil"<br>"Sometimes stepping back is not a sign of weakness" Zuko said in a mystical voice "Sometimes you have to let someone push you... for you to know how to stand strong and firm"

"What has this have to do with being pushed, threatened and swindled?" Sokka growled "Now we are broke!"  
>"You took out no money?" Zuko frowned.<p>

"I was banking on you!" 

Xx~xx~xX

The bar was loud and livelier than any one place Zuko had ever been too. in thirty minutes of being in the Honey Suckle 'joint'-this is what one man had told them was the place to go for new comers as it was the 'safest'-they had seen a man stabbed and then hauled out, two women had a catfight in the far east corner before one either ripped the others hair off or it was a form of hair extension that went flying through the air to land in a fat toad-like man's meal.

The fat man in question had casually flung the hair back to the circle of commotion and continued his meal.

"I think we are in a brothel" Zuko murmured.

"I _know _we are in a brothel!" Sokka cheered.  
>"This is all so..." Takeshi looked around from their table in the shadowed corner of the smoke filled space with wonder "Strange"<br>"A good kind of strange, right?" Sokka beamed.  
>"Why do I get the feeling you frequent such places" Zuko sighed.<p>

"Beats me, but if any of you wants to go pee-I suggest you take your cups with you" Sokka said quickly.

"To pee in?" Takeshi asked in disgust.

"Of course not!" Sokka breathed "That's out right disgusting-to spit in obviously!"

"Sarcasm?" Zuko asked and Sokka grinned widely at him-a toothy grin that made his hairy face stretch past its leanness.

Xx~xx~xX

Their table was littered with small tot glasses and taller ones. Zuko sat too still in his chair, refusing to allow the alcohol to loosen him up although it now mingled with his blood freely.

"...and really, she had to ply on the hate 'cause admitting she liked you would have been too much"  
>"She liked Aang" Zuko stated "I refuse to believe your theory"<p>

Takeshi listened with wonder, imagining himself in their faraway adventures of youth.

"Dude" Sokka slurred "I know my sister, and if she can rant about something or hours on end..."  
>"She ranted about me because she hates me, Sokka" Zuko sighed, leaning back into his chair momentarily before bolting up right again when he felt the lulling of alcohol-that sickly sweet motion that sings to your muscles to relax and comply to unlearning the facts of gravity.<p>

"Well, you were on her mind for too long with the way she went on and on!" Sokka burped. "Aang wasn't too pleased about it"  
>"But..."<br>"You aren't the most observant person, Zuko!" Sokka laughed and Takeshi stifled an on coming smile of agreement.

"But..." Zuko tried again, his finger rising to his face-although he had been trying to remain n control and keep their identities unknown in the busy brothel, his cloak had been stifling him in the badly ventilated crowded place and had had to come of, by Agni! "I am hideous" he pointed to his scar.

"Call it 'Beauty and the Beast' syndrome!" Sokka snickered, nudging and winking at Takeshi who blushed furiously behind his giant glass of frothy beer "I am going to get us more shots" Sokka breathed, rising from his seat-swaying momentarily-before swerving through the boisterous crowd.

"You aren't hideous" Takeshi whispered to Zuko as soon as they lost sight of Sokka. Zuko replied with a wide eyed confused stare "I mean..." Takeshi raised his hand up in the air, Zuko staring at it like it was a new form of deadly weaponry. The hand hovered in front of his bad eye momentarily before carefully covering his burnt eye-sure like most, to not touch the leathery skin there. "You are kind of gorgeous"

"Uhhh... you are drunk" Zuko removed Takeshi's hand and placed it down-dropped it-on the table before twisting his body rather violently and peering through the veil of pipe smoke covering the room and watching in panicked irritation as the many bodies moved up and down through it. He searched anxiously for the bob of Sokka's pony wielding head.

He jumped in fear when he felt a cool hand make contact with his hand, and flung a defensive measure of heat to his right hand and garnering a loud pitched "Ouch!" from Takeshi.

"Sorry" Zuko lied before coughing away his unease. "I uhm, you startled me"  
>"Then I should be apologising?" Takeshi smiled<p>

"Not necessary" Zuko breathed. "Just... keep your erm, boundaries"  
>"Boundaries?" Takeshi asked in confusion but Sokka had arrived, carrying a chipped wooden tray of filled to the brim shots.<p>

"Who is ready to get wasted!" he grinned.  
>"Sokka, the sun is already down..."<br>"Don't be a party poop, Fire Lord" Takeshi joked but when Zuko looked at him, his faze was stern and gaze determined on his face. "Just a shot-and maybe we can have a fire bender teach us how to take Fire Whiskey the proper way?"  
>"There is more drinking to do once we get back... gluttony is a sin!" Zuko said without smiling, his lips drawn in a hard line "Sokka, we leave <em>now<em>!"

"No" Sokka sulked "I can't even feel a buzz!"  
>"You felt it an hour ago...!" Zuko snarled<p>

"But I got these shots..." Sokka tried and stared in mild horror and astonishment as Zuko neatly picked up each shot and gulped it down, flinching lightly at the end.

"And now their gone! Now by Agni, move!" he roared "It's late... we are late, enough of this!"

And as they made their way out of the brothel arguing-without realising that although they might make it through the notorious Bloed Khan unscathed by their deliberate foolery as the first shot kicked into the Fire Lord-it was the long journey through Dar Sa Pour that would test them.

Xx~xx~xX 

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Yeah, cliff-hanger of sorts. **

**RESPONSES**

**Thank you all for your amazing reviews!**

**Toph Bei Fong will feature in the next chapter-which should be thought of as part two of this; I seriously couldn't stand to make this chapter any longer than it was, hence the cliffy. Zuko is a little OOC here, Takeshi a little too-but that has hopefully revealed itself in here.**

**I did a sketch of Zuko as I see him and will hopefully post it on my relatively new deviantart account soon-which goes by the same name as my fanfic penname 'TJCBUNNI22'. It's rather rough and as I don't really know how to draw in the style of the Avatar cartoon-it's a real human looking Zuko. I did one of Azula too, still to do Toph.**

**But will post it hopefully by the 'part two' of this (which will be titled differently but is to be considered part two regardless)**

**Anyhow,**

**Remember to review and share your thoughts and such before jumping into bed or otherwise...! I am a sucker for response and reviews...**

**Xx**

**TJ.**


	36. Grand Delusions

**GRAND DELUSIONS**

**Xx~xx~xX**

_Self deception is nothing but pride in disguise-an indulgence to be denied-Stephen King_

Xx~xx~xX

It was darkening, the crumby buildings casting long looming shadows that merged together and the air chilling notably. The idea had been to rush back, now it was perceptible that the banquet had begun and they had long passed the 'fashionably late' marker to other interpretable territories. They could rush-the option was still there for that; they could run through the increasing throng of other men, men who all seemed to share plans of beginning the night with little focus and control...

Sokka and Zuko were well aware in their private slurring thoughts that there were a lot of things to be done right now-that the situation that was looming in their very near future might not be too pleasant if they didn't get back to the safety of the royal grounds, but neither could bring themselves to shed the safety of alcohol and voice this out to the inexperienced and jittery Takeshi.

"We only have about ten minutes of light..." Takeshi stated, constantly turning his head in all directions and casting suspecting glances at everything "No way we are getting back in time"  
>"That had been the plan" Sokka slurred and then ended the short statement in a deep alcohol dripped giggle that alarmed Takeshi. "Just forget about it, already!"<br>"I can't listen to you, you are drunk" Takeshi frowned at Sokka.

"Shall we call you Chairman Obvious?" Zuko laughed an odd short snort that sounded more like a threatening growl than anything humorous. He staggered backwards then swung his body back to a forward motion.

"It's Captain Obvious, Zuko!" Sokka laughed, swaying and swinging his body into Zuko so the Fire Lord stumbled two paces with Sokka hanging onto him, before Zuko managed to right himself and formed a Gravity Support System with Sokka. They held each other by the neck, moving like crabs through the path and pushing obliviously through people.

"But I give you ten points for trying" Sokka bubbled, trying to dictate the pace of movement when Zuko's taller frame kept pulling them back into the centre of the walkway, right into people without a single care for the snarls and growls that erupted after they shoved a man too many into an innocent vendor. "Dude, walk straight!"  
>"I can't see" Zuko breathed.<p>

"What do you mean you can't see, Fire Lord?" Takeshi asked moving to Zuko's other side and gingerly holding onto him-both him and Sokka leading Zuko between them.

"Well, I am drunk... I think it's safe to admit that now" Zuko gulped "And uhm, I had one good eye and a half an eye really and now I have half of each and... what's the Math's to that, Sokka?"  
>"I have no idea what you are on about buddy" Sokka burped. "I got a 'D' in Math, is all I know"<p>

"He is talking about his eyes!" Takeshi said irritated. "His bad eye wasn't as good and now both so..."  
>"Is the moon out?" Zuko asked suddenly.<p>

"No, it isn't Fire Lord" Takeshi murmured straining not to be toppled by Zuko's weight.

"Takeshi..." Sokka burped "Drop the Fire Lord... it really wont help matters in the place we are in"

Xx~xx~xX

It felt good to be free, he had to admit it. The cloud that moved over his eyes made everything seem brighter instead of dimming it out. It made it okay to be reckless and carefree...

"Another round of shots?" Sokka asked, his cool hand resting momentarily over Zuko's, grabbing the distracted Fire Lord's attention.

"Yeah, another one..." Zuko murmured, leaning back into the seat and folding his hands behind his head. He had a smile on his face, he was aware... he was also aware of Takeshi's worried gaze never leaving his face. "You need to take a shot, young Prince... and loosen up; I am not so such an idiot to not know that this had been your idea to begin with"

"You only just got sober!" Takeshi said reproachfully "You and Sokka both! How are we to get back if you get drunk again, Fire... erm... Zuko"  
>Zuko frowned as his name came out breathy and dripping with reverence from Takeshi.<p>

"Takeshi..." he sighed, leaning forward and peering at the fidgeting boy "I pray that your rule, when it comes as King of the Earth Nation... will be smooth and filled with straight lines..."  
>"And if it's not?"<br>"I pray you have friends..."Zuko said seriously "Good ones"  
>"Do you consider Sokka a good friend?" Takeshi asked, briefly checking that Sokka was still at the bar. He frowned when he spotted the dark skinned warrior talking to a group of giggling girls, his hands waving theatrically in the air as he exaggerated about something.<p>

"Yes, a good one" Zuko said "A loyal one, once you earn his trust and there is no better place to earn Sokka's respect and trust than in the battlefield... or with women, I think."  
>"And Avatar Aang...?"<br>Zuko closed his eyes, recalling his sparing and training with Aang-fond memories. He could see his grey eyes, large, innocent and powerful staring at him with patience and an easy sort of trust.

"Yes, Aang..." Zuko murmured opening his eyes and smiling absently "He is a good friend. Sometimes I feel 'friend' seems so inadequate a word to describe him"  
>"Toph..." Takeshi said tentatively and Zuko's smile dripped off his face and an ice scowl replaced it, he swivelled his eyes to Takeshi-watching the confusion on Takeshi's face carefully as the prince worded out his thoughts "She is a good friend"<br>"The best" Zuko said gruffly.

"Yes, and I am sure she would be... a lovely wife?" Takeshi smiled tentatively, imploring Zuko with his eyes to understand some hidden fact to his discomfort. Zuko looked away, refusing to think about Toph and marriage in context to the barely-a-man being by his side.  
>"Who would be a lovely wife?" Sokka laughed, pulling his chair out for some girl and signalling for Zuko to move over. There were two other girls standing coyly behind Sokka.<p>

"Toph" Takeshi said. "She will be a good wife, obviously"

"Toph... lovely wife?" Sokka snorted. "Maybe a lovely husband... the abusive kind too..."

"Uh, a chair from where? This place is packed..." Zuko got up abruptly, the one girl immediately taking his seat "Hey, that's my..."!" he snarled indignantly.  
>"He is such a gentleman, didn't I tell you?" Sokka said quickly winking at a glowering Zuko. "Zuko, you are such a lamb, wont you grab that chair from there?"<br>"There is someone on it" Zuko growled following the direction of Sokka's pointing finger.

"Oh, dude... you are ruining our chances at really having a good time!" Sokka hissed into Zuko's ear. Zuko backed away from him, still frowning.

"Fine" Sokka snapped "Takeshi, up!"

"Pardon?" Takeshi blinked confused at Sokka.

"I said..." Sokka rushed over to Takeshi, and in the same obnoxious manner, whispered loudly in his ear "Get up if you want to get laid, too!"  
>"I guess I'll be sitting..." Takeshi began but Zuko moved behind him and pulled out his chair, placing a heavy hot hand on his shoulder.<p>

"Get up, Takeshi" Zuko said stonily. "Let him have his fun and the sooner we can leave"  
>"Fine" Takeshi moved from behind the table.<p>

"Great, uh... we can get some stools..." Sokka looked around before spotting a plump man weighing down on a wooden stool on a table beside them. He rushed over to the man and pulled him off his stool, ignoring the man's indignant cry and pushing Zuko over to him instead and mouthing "Deal with it"

"Uhm, sorry" Zuko said gruffly, staring at the short man.

"Your friend..." the man pointed behind Zuko at a cheery Sokka sitting beside the more bodacious girl. "I want my stool back!"  
>"Zuko, deal with it in a <em>better way<em>!" Sokka snapped, rolling his eyes before returning to the girl's fluttering eyelashes and lip biting "I swear, honestly, he can't do anything right unless I give him a verbal manual...!"

"Uh, sorry... get another stool?" Zuko tried and the man scowled at him.

"Get out of my way you bloody tree!" the man growled, pushing past Zuko and moving towards Sokka.

"Agni..." Zuko sighed wearily and reached behind him, grabbing the man's robe, dragging him back. The man cried out, a few curious looks cast over at their table before the patrons returned to their business of drinking.

"Hey!" the man yelled "The hell...!"  
>"I said..."Zuko growled, pulling him by the collar closer to his face, golden eye glowing and piercing into the man's muddy eyes "Get another damned stool!"<p>

"No problem, just... tell your friend to ask next time" he stammered stupidly before rushing away.

Xx~xx~xX

"So, how did you get the scar?" the girl asked and Zuko groaned. "You kind of look... familiar..."  
>Another groan escaped him, and when he raised his head to take a swig of beer, Takeshi was staring at him sullenly; completely ignoring the girl sitting bored by his side him. He looked away from Takeshi's gaze and shuddered when his eyes fell upon Sokka and Bodacious Girl kissing furiously. There was no chance of arriving before eleven at this point, no chance at all...<p>

"Sokka, more shots?" Zuko boomed, cutting through the pairs little anonymous paradise.

"Ask Takeshi to get them?" Sokka managed before dipping back into the girl's face.

"Fine, I'll get Fire Whiskey then" Zuko sighed. "Uh, Takeshi... are you having any?"

"No" Takeshi managed and Zuko walked quickly away from the table, pushing his way through the bodies and deciding not to return to Sokka and especially Takeshi for a good thirty minutes, until he was nice and drunk again and in a more tolerating mood.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The outside was a flurry of movement. Feet moving quickly, rubber soles and wooden sandals-trolleys pushed and baskets dragged. The loud droning of chatter filling the air, the smells out there would be unpleasant with all the activeness-she couldn't stand sweat. Well, the smell of anyone _else's_ sweat at least...

She would have to go out there eventually. It was stupid to be standing in fear in front of ones own door-afraid to open it like there was some nighttime monster waiting behind it and tapping its foot impatiently. She knew that it was so unjustifiable to be afraid at this point in time and what she also knew was that she was supposed to be the most fearless person _she knew_.

"It's just a shindig" she let out a hard breath. Her skin was crawling with prickling heat, beneath her wayward bangs she could feel the dewing of sweat and her fingers twitched uncomfortably from the clamminess the day's warmth brought about. "A stupid inconsequential bash..."

A stupid bash to announce her engagement.

Maybe since her first escape from the oppression of her born life, when she went off with Aang-maybe she had formed some sort of strategic coping mechanism.

She had run away once again hadn't she? Run off to the Fire Nation to get away from all of it. And all she had ended up doing in the process was causing another irreparable problem there. The expanse of sea hadn't made it all go away, the jungle she had only caused her to wake up to one man's beauty in a way she never known a person could encompass (she had her own understanding of beauty, due to her ability-blindness wasn't a disability, she had refuted that notion-and not many could ever measure up to that understanding of aesthetics-she only saw in structures, lines and energy).

And then she had run away once again, on her own ball when the bomb had begun to tick-and did it tick and tick, until it blew up in her own back yard.

Then there was the touring, however noble and with determined intention, it hadn't changed the fact that she had been blown to pieces in her own back yard under the unveiling of the moon.

"I am in pieces!" she groaned letting her head fall on the door and clenching her teeth. She felt the wood; she felt the smooth glossy paint coating the door with her rough fingers. The sounds of the servants moving, the carriages picking up various things to take to the Palace... all these sounds terrified her, but none more so than the shuddering of her heart.

The stupid shindig to announce her engagement, the stupid Fire Lord she had been certain wouldn't have come... how stupid had she been? Of course he would come; if not to prove to her that he was stronger than she could ever anticipate.

So she would prove she was as strong as he was, idiot Fire Fly. Besides, she was Toph Bei Fong-Grand Master at that-and she wasn't about to be bullied out of attending a jamboree she didn't even want to go to! She would have skipped the little engagement announcement and spent her evening working on her armour while everyone else got drunk, she would have failed to attend on her own damned terms! This wasn't about Zuko or Takeshi or her mother... it wasn't about any of them at all! She was going to be great-no, she was already great-she was going to be greater, etched in history past the title of 'The Avatar's Earth Bending Teacher and Comrade' and sometimes that required sacrifice.

This was how her own ambitions tied in with Poppy's.

But her ambitions had never ruled her, had never been able to stand a chance against her own self respect and as much as she had deluded herself in the past few years, as much as she had squashed it all down so she could go through with marrying Takeshi and everything...

It had reared its head at the realisation that she really was to marry Takeshi. It had nothing to do with Zuko or Takeshi, her new phobia for marriage. It had everything to do with her own respect-if she was being honest with herself, maybe she should call it by its name.

It had everything to do with _pride_.

Her pride was working up a storm against her maturity and ambition.

"I have to go" she sighed and grimaced when it came out a whimper. She pushed away from the door and walked as calmly as she could manage to her bed, the dress was waiting for her-naturally laid out for her by Poppy. "I'll do it. I am bloody Toph Bei Fong and I am not afraid of boys or... mothers and Kings!"

She felt the fabric with her finger tips-it was heavy and filled with stitching, embroidery. Her fingers recoiled from the garment like it burned and a vicious frown distorted her face into a sour pucker. It felt expensive-and what she knew about expensive was that it meant it would be restricting and she would not be allowed to breathe in it.

"I am not wearing you, like hell!" she hissed at the dress. "We need to get things straight around here..." weeks upon weeks of being in the Earth Nation hard lands and battling it out with some fearsome benders had made her realise one thing "I am a Bender, fore most and I wont be anything else before that...!" she stomped to the drawer and grabbed a fistful of garments, returning to the bed and plonking them rudely over the dress.

She spread them out, feeling the fabric and stitching and moving what was shirts and pants to one side and praying on happening on a vest. She wouldn't be so rude at Kuei's ball and attend barefoot-she wasn't really expecting to be ambushed (maybe burnt, but not ambushed) so she would wear some thin slippers. She would be able to see through them fair enough.

She felt the collars of the shirt, they had stitching to let her know what colour which was which-colour, now there was something she found troublesome... but her mother, as she loved her, would skin her if she arrived without the gown she had picked out for her and then drown her for wearing mismatched clothing.

"Accessorize at least, Toph..." she sighed, picking her little array of titanium belts and arm braces she had made in calmer moments. "That will help-I think; accessories"

She threw the shirt she wore aside and wiggled out of her pants, kicking them away from her and put on the crisp custom cut shirt and pants. The wrapper went over the shirt, this part she knew and finally the belt went by her waist and held everything in place. The bracelets were next and just because she liked it for the symbol it carried-she placed her head band neatly in her hair, pushing the hair at her back into a bun and combing out the front with her fingers into something she prayed would be tolerable.

"Fearless!" she said sternly to herself. There was nothing to be afraid of, she wasn't afraid-hell, they should fear her!

Her smile drooped slightly as a little voice pointed out to her, that although the rest of the world knew her as a Grand Master-with her mother, she would always be a porcelain doll and to Zuko...

"I am something that can never be"

Xx~xx~xX

She entered the foyer a hurricane of muttering and growls, her fists curled to her sides as though she was preparing to fight. She was in a way, preparing to fight for her self control, but as her feet took another two steps over the cool marble, her anger and intense defensiveness abated drastically.

"Toph!" Poppy called immediately, moving from the huddled circle to attack Toph in a frantic patting down from her hair to picking at Toph's shirt "Couldn't you find the dress?"  
>"No, I couldn't see it" Toph said dryly, her head angled to the left-she was trying to feel for him, to see the licking flame over the terrazzo.<p>

"It's not so bad..."Poppy sighed, fixing something in Toph's hair-Toph was vaguely irritated by her nitpicking, listening instead to Aang's advancing airy form. "Your head band is lovely... and the shirt braces... not too tomboyish... but..."  
>"Mother" she held Poppy's hand firmly and pushed it away from her hair "Not now. Aang?"<br>"Toph..." Aang smiled surveying Toph with fondness "You look..."  
>"She grew a few inches!" Poppy beamed, casting Toph a glowing look "I had given up hope! I thought she would forever have my height and when she turned eighteen, well she began to sprout and blossom and now..."<br>"Mom, Aang isn't interested in my growth spurts or _whatever_" Toph sighed, rolling her eyes "He is the Avatar, not everyone's Grandpa..."

"For someone who is late and underdressed you sure have cheek, Grand Master...!" Poppy huffed, walking back to King Kuei's entourage.

"So, uhm..." Toph murmured smiling weakly at Aang "What's the hold up?"

"Takeshi is late" Aang whispered, pulling her back to the huddled group "He is never late, apparently and well... tempers are flaring"

"Well, maybe he is held up by something?" Toph offered "Maybe we should all just go in and start dancing..."

"Toph, we can't very well just go in without Takeshi!" Poppy reprimanded her and Toph's scowl returned.

"Where are they!?" King Kuei frowned, his head turning frantically to all directions and lips set in a hard line.

"Avatar Aang, you were to enter with the Fire Lord and the Southern Water Tribe Representative...?" Poppy asked only it came out as an accusing high pitched yell.

"His name is Sokka" Toph sighed impatiently "Listen, the party is going on in there and by the sound of it..."

Poppy silenced her with a raised hand, continuing her entrance plans fluidly "...And then it would have been Lord Bei Fong and my self, then Takeshi and Toph with King Kuei..."

"This is ridiculous!" Toph snapped adding internally how her mother was ruining her getaway plans, now that she had definite added time to enter the large ball with the hundreds of people bustling and moving to hide her.

"Takeshi knows how I am about punctuality!" King Kuei growled, his eyes flashing angrily. "I am anxious to show my bear cub..."  
>"You mean introduce the Prince and his intended..." Spa murmured from behind all of them.<p>

"Yes, yes, that too..." King Kuei said impatiently, his eyes narrowed "This is turning into chaos!"

"We could just enter now..." Toph said in badly concealed indifference to their trepidation, she had her own worries-she wanted to hurry along and hide behind all the innocent people inside and put them between her and the fire and the heat when it entered in all its magnificence"...and announce things during a toast or something"  
>"But the impression, my dear... would be lost!" Poppy said, light shining in her eyes "The elegance of it all. There are formalities that a Lady should never lose!"<p>

"Right" Toph finished disinterested and resumed her confined impatience-she had now resorted to bopping her head to the music streaming from behind the doors leading into the ballroom, her short hair moving wildly around her and lips silently forming the words to the songs. Takeshi was a life safer, Takeshi in all his sulking but adorableness had granted her some time... and these people were trying to keep her from taking advantage of that with such inconsequential matters, such unimportant discussions as to who is supposed to go in first...

Honestly... who cares that Sokka got lost-he is probably in some girl's arms and Takeshi is probably of somewhere still choosing his attire-silk or linen, whatever would he do? Zuko, well... maybe he wasn't as daring as she initially thought...

"Where is the Fire Lord anyway?" King Kuei frowned "Weren't you meeting with him, Avatar-to talk to the Chieftains?"

"Uhm..." Aang stammered gulping as they all stared at him with different variations of frowns on their faces, Toph alone kept her gaze fleeting around with her lips pinched in a side pout and foot tapping impatiently "I went alone. So Zuko... the Fire Lord..." he looked at Toph but she had stopped pretending not to be irritated at standing in the large foyer and was now dancing and singing with a little more volume, her movements leading her closer to the grand doors. "I asked Sokka and Takeshi to meet with Zuko so it's safe to say they are all together"

Her heart stopped momentarily, her leg hovering over the ground before slamming down and sending vibrations around them.

"Safe to say they are together!?" Toph yelled abruptly, spinning around and staring at Aang with wide opaque eyes "There is nothing safe... where is Takeshi? We have to find them! Safe to say... are you mad? Have you gone insane... there is nothing safe to _bloody_ say!"  
>"Toph...?" Poppy asked in a confused hollow voice. She stared at her daughter in astonishment, Toph's nostrils flaring slightly and her whole body thrumming wildly.<p>

"She is very passionate about him!" King Kuei beamed, nudging Spa from behind. His wife grunted in response, gave Toph a suspicious look then disappeared from the foyer with a simple 'this excitement is too much for me' as her explanation.

"How much safer can Takeshi be if he is with the Fire Lord?" King Kuei asked "Do you not trust him? Such prejudice young Lady Bei Fong when you served by his side at the toppling of the late Fire Lord Ozai?"

"We need to find them!" Toph stated, folding her arms over her chest and shaking her head in disbelief. "Now!"  
>"It's been five hours or so..." Aang said thoughtfully "They will show up; we could just enter like you said, Toph, and give a toast..."<br>"No. They cannot keep us waiting like this! I mean formalities and a lady... or something?" Toph stated, cutting her hand through the air. "No way; we find them now!"  
>"I sent two servants to search them out and find out from the riders if any carriages were taken out?" Poppy offered "Oh, I see your father" Lady Bei Fong waved at her husband briefly, casting Toph one last inspection " Toph I can see you will be able to handle things. I need to go mingle, the announcement will have to be made without the happy couple..."<br>"It will still have the same intensity, coming from you, Lady Bei Fong..." King Kuei sighed a smile ghosting on his lips at the opportunity to finally enter his party "You and I should go and begin the festivities and be the excellent hosts we are-you have yet to see the new chandelier I had propped up. It is multi-coloured..."  
>And with that, Aang and Toph were left alone-the doors to the ballroom opening briefly to reveal lively bodies, laughing and dancing and the vibrant colour of excitement before shutting with resonating finality.<p>

"So..." Aang begun and Toph scowled before inhaling a hot breath.

"I thought you were my friend, Aang!" she exhaled, charging out of the foyer and startling Aang into following her "How could you let this happen!?"  
>"Let what happen?" Aang asked taken aback, he half-skipped and half-ran to keep up with her bulldozing form "Takeshi and Zuko get on well enough?"<br>"You know that's bull crap!" she growled "Takeshi gets on with anything! Zuko barely gets on with himself!"

"Is this about you and him?" Aang whispered, apologising to a guard they passed when Toph waved a dismissive hand in response to his 'Good Evening'.

"Me and who?" Toph asked but she didn't give him a chance to answer before replying threateningly "Takeshi? Yes, it's about me and Takeshi being engaged and now my soon to be announced Fiancé is off somewhere with _Sokka"_

"Sokka can be responsible..." Aang said dubious even to himself.  
>"Right" she scoffed, flinging the doors open, not waiting for the guard to open them for her and causing him to stumble back with surprise. She turned sharply to her left and moved rapidly down the corridor. They emerged outside, a different entrance to the one she had used before.<p>

"Toph... did something happen between you and Zuko" he asked her, the cooling air of the night tussling her hair. He watched her closely, wishing he was barefoot so he could feel her heart.  
>"No" Toph said immediately before swearing under her breath, taking a step down from to the front step. "Oy, move it!" she growled at a man meandering from the direction of the stables. The man jumped at the violence in her tone before trotting towards them, tripping over the gravel laid in the front of the botany roundabout before coming to an exhausted halt in front of them.<p>

"You are the servant Lady Bei Fong sent?" Toph demanded and Aang paled at her discourtesy. The man nodded vehemently, his eyes wide. "Well, spit it out then...!?"  
>"Uhm, yes, three carriages were sent out... from the..."<br>"Where to?"  
>"To collect the King's bear trainer..." he said quickly, lifting one finger to symbolize the one carriage "And the other two..." he raised two fingers next to his index and Aang rolled his eyes, thankful Toph didn't care for his obliviousness to her blindness "Were sent to Market Square to retrieve the honorary House of Ganshu for..."<br>"So they didn't go anywhere by carriage" Toph cut him, placing a finger on her chin before shooing him away. "Where would he take Takeshi... he doesn't know the City"  
>"Maybe it was Takeshi who took Zuko and Sokka somewhere to bide time and now they have been delayed" Aang sighed. "Toph, calm down..."<p>

"It's dark, isn't it?" Toph asked sneering "Where the hell would Takeshi take anyone in the City? He barely knows his way around his own bedroom!"

"Toph, calm down!" Aang snapped "Zuko is with them both and I have more than enough faith that Zuko can manage to not kill your _intended_!"

"Well, I don't have faith in either of them!"

"You don't have faith in Zuko or you don't have faith in Takeshi?" Aang asked suddenly.

"What in the blue heavens are you on about, you drunk monk!" she hissed in forced indication "Do not try my patience, Aang. Do you seriously want to cause the extinction of Air Benders?"  
>"Toph...!" Aang warned, his anger flaring "You know what I am talking about; your fear of Zuko and Takeshi being alone together!"<br>"Ha!" Toph yelled, fisting her hair "I see someone started early on the liquor!"  
>"I am not drunk, I don't drink!"Aang yelled in shock<br>"I can smell it on you!" she hissed. "Maybe I need to get as drunk as you, and begin a path of deluded conclusions-must be a monk thing huh?! You deluded yourself into warming up to an Ice Sculptor and walla! Katara is yours!"

"Toph, don't deflect the situa-!" he tried but she had disappeared back inside.

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"I knew an Earth Nation girl once" Zuko said. He smiled to himself, wondering how that distant past coated with chaos seemed so sweet now "I may have even liked her, though I can't quite remember her name" 

"Zuko, you are drunk" Takeshi breathed, sitting down beside him "And Sokka is... well, Sokka knows how to have good time with little help"

"No, I think I _really_ liked her" Zuko continued, swirling his glass contemplatively before placing it down. The bar tender rolled his eyes and shook his head disapprovingly but when Zuko indicated he pour him more whiskey, he complied without a word.

"Love lost and love won, eh?" Takeshi offered.

"I lost Mai..." Zuko said glumly, leaning on the countertop and staring at his whiskey when it was placed in front of him. "I lost so much..."  
>"No you didn't..." Takeshi insisted, leaning down and peering at Zuko "You are the... you know, successful and honoured..."<br>"I know that!" Zuko snapped "And those are the same delusions I coat myself in; leader, honour and all that crap"  
>"What more do you want" Takeshi asked.<br>"What every man wants, kid" the bar man sighed, shaking his head "You want someone to share all that with"

"Maybe with Mai..."Takeshi began.  
>"No, I could never be with Mai again" Zuko lifted the glass to his lips and sipped it eagerly, flinching slightly when it burned down his throat. "I have better luck waiting on Katara's cousin's at her wedding... that would make for a good diplomatic romance. Or arrangement. Arrangements are fire proof, never let your heart wander on its own accord..."<br>"Is it so bad being alone?" Takeshi murmured, picking Zuko's glass up and sniffing the whiskey before taking a slow sip. He gulped it down then coughed out hotly.

"It isn't so bad to be alone..." Takeshi said hoarsely, his throat scorching. "If you have a lover"

"I don't know how to love" Zuko sighed, indicating the bar man get another drink for Takeshi.

"Maybe you just need someone to show you" Takeshi said softly, watching the bar man walk away.

"I had someone..." Zuko slurred. "She showed me how to love; how to be strong and brave... she showed me how to let loose and I never wanted to leave the garden of lotus and fire lilies..."  
>"The girl you knew once, the Earth Nation girl?" Takeshi asked.<p>

"No, not her..." Zuko took the glass back when Takeshi's drink arrived, and as he brought it to his lips, anticipating the burn he sighed "Toph"

"Toph?" Takeshi spluttered but Zuko ignored him, downing the glass before pushing it towards the bar man for more, growling when the man shook his head and pointing petulantly inside his empty glass.

"Fill it up!" he ordered and the man sighed, reaching under the counter for the whiskey.

"Toph... whose Toph?" Takeshi stammered. "Not my...?"

"Her" Zuko murmured, his tone parched and grating.

"No!" Takeshi laughed "You are drunk!"

Zuko reached for his glass silently, downed the entire contents again and gave the worried barman a hard look "Fill it...!"

"You are drunk, Zuko" Takeshi's hand covered Zuko's hand and squeezed.

"Takeshi, you need to stop touching me" Zuko said softly, his good eye swivelling down to glare at Takeshi's darker skin contrasting with his whitish one.

"Not Toph..." Takeshi laughed, never removing his hand. "Zuko, look at me... tell me it wasn't her?"  
>"Take you hand off of me"<p>

"Zuko?" he tugged his hand, oblivious to Zuko's flaring nostrils and hard eyes. "Zuko look at me!"

"Kid, I think you should let him be... trust me..." The bartender murmured, he could see Zuko's face and he knew a beating when it was approaching "... this girl isn't worth the trouble you are about to get yourself in!"  
>"I know that she isn't worth the trouble!" Takeshi spat at the man "But he is worth it all!" he tried to pull Zuko's hot hand and when it only budged slightly, he released it and reached over to turn Zuko's face to his.<p>

He wanted to meet the golden fire of his eyes, but Zuko kept his gaze firmly from him, his breathing hard and hurried. Takeshi bypassed the violence radiating towards him and commanded "Look at me, Zuko!"

He got what he wanted, and gulped when their eyes met-ignoring the bartenders terrified anticipation.

"_Boy_, I will not say this again... take your fucking hand off of me!" Zuko snarled and Takeshi braved the rigid spike in temperature for only a second before he dropped his sweltering hand away from Zuko's quivering face.

"Did you sleep with her?" Takeshi asked softly but Zuko didn't reply, his facial muscles gave a soft spasm and his lips crushed into a hard line "Did you do it to hurt me, Zuko?"  
>"Hurt you?!" Zuko asked dumbfounded, his surprise momentarily clouding his anger-his question united with the absorbed bartender's but Zuko's astonishment was short lived when a tipsy Takeshi brought his face right to Zuko's, intoxicated breath blowing over Zuko's eyes and making him blink rapidly and then Zuko felt his lips make contact with something soft and tinted with alcohol...<p>

"I have officially seen it all!" the bartender breathed, picking Zuko's empty glass and walking away from the scene.

"You don't have to..." Takeshi began as he pulled away but before his declaration could fully escape his lips; his chin was run over by a hot fist. He toppled over his stool, knocking into some unknown man. The man yelled as his drink sloped over its glass, preparing to launch a tirade at the sprawled Takeshi but when he glanced at the culprit that had thrown the boy across, he backed away. Zuko took a steady step away from the bar counter, his fist balled and stood over Takeshi-his face still quivering with anger and eyes flashing dangerously.

"Zuko!?" Takeshi raised his hands, eyes wide and popping with light signals of pain and ears ringing. He scrambled around him on the cold floor but his equilibrium had been knocked back to something primitive. "Wait, Zuko... you don't have to deny..."  
>Zuko's fist landed at the side of Takeshi's head and he collapsed flat on the floor and sliding across from the impact of the punch, his body knocking hard in the middle as he collided with the leg of a table-bringing the table down over him. He groaned, pushing the table off of him and trying to open his burning eyes.<p>

The perimeter around Takeshi filled with excited hoots and feet moving to form a circle around him and an irrepressibly enraged Zuko. Somewhere across the room-Sokka lifted his head up and surveyed the excited movement before him, vaguely interested in what was causing a ruckus from the middle of the tavern, hidden from his view. He sighed, muttering to Bodacious Girl, "It's probably some drunk lonely idiots with nothing better to do; they should just kiss and make up already. Where were we...?"

And with that, Takeshi was left to deal with a drunk dragon's temper, Zuko praying he did not fire bend.

"Zuko" Takeshi warned "Come on..."  
>"Get up" Zuko growled "I can't discipline you for your impudence while you are cowering on the floor"<br>"Get up, you pansy!" someone yelled from the crowed. "Get up!" a few more calls and laughs. So Takeshi got up slowly, cringing as pain flashed from distinct points on his body and felt his chin. It was raw and bleeding, his eye swelling from his brow down.

"Zuko, I will not indulge your delusions that what was happening between you and I..." Takeshi began. He was met with a slap across the face; his cheek was left hot and scorching and the impact and velocity sending him back down on the floor with a heavy groan. He heard the howling laughs, his own embarrassment wrapped up in pain. He hadn't been wrong, he refused to think it... he had not deluded himself to this point.

"I am warning you..." Takeshi tried.  
>"Do not threaten me when you are squirming on the floor!" Zuko snarled.<p>

"Threaten you!?" Takeshi slammed his hands on the cement floor, pushing the earth to propel him up right quickly "You are the one who led me on!"  
>"Led you...?" Zuko spluttered, frowning and droning the shocked whooping emitting from the crowd before shaking his head in disbelief "Are you insane? You are crazy and believe me... I have seen crazy -I am related to it and little <em>boy<em>... you top it!"

"You...!" Takeshi scowled at him, pointing at him accusingly "You are the one..."  
>"You are insane and a <em>child<em>!" Zuko snapped "You are delusional!"

"Insane... delusional...?" Takeshi sneered "Nothing can change the fact that you slept with my fiancé"

"I didn't say I slept with her"  
>"So you didn't sleep with her then?" Takeshi asked and Zuko looked away "Then what was it that happened, Fire Lord?"<br>"Fire Lord?" a woman shouted in surprise "This keeps getting juicier!"  
>"No way he is the Fire Lord!" someone scoffed "The Fire Lord is some skinny kid with bad hair, I saw him on my last trip to the Fire Nation!"<br>"You are a child, you know nothing!" Zuko growled.

"Call me a child one more time..." Takeshi challenged, flexing his arms.

"Was that you daring me?" Zuko asked, smirking "You double dare me to call you a child, hmm... oh so Mature Prince Takeshi?"

Takeshi remained silent, his eyes never leaving Zuko's. There were more sceptical murmurs on that revelation of the crown Prince Takeshi being in the tavern in down town Dar Se Pour. But such things were impossible... surely, a prince in a tavern battling it out with the Fire Lord? That was beginning to a bad barroom joke...

"You are not a child..." Zuko said apologetically before snarling, eyes flashing and voice dripping with venom "You are a manipulative unpleasant spoilt brat who doesn't deserve Toph and-!"

The earth rumbled and Takeshi flung his foot forward, cutting a jagged disc across the floor towards Zuko and earning a few shrieks. Zuko did not move, flicking his hand indifferently towards the flying disc and sending a gust of fire to embrace it and turn it into ash.

"You don't want to go there, boy" Zuko said dryly.  
>"Call me boy..."<br>"Boy"

"You...!" Takeshi charged, running furiously towards Zuko, hands balled at his sides and pulling on earth and cement-there were yelps and screams as the crowed dispersed, men and women running for cover and hiding under the tables. The remainder of the tavern (Sokka included) watched the frantic running and shuffling in shock before running out-never knowing what it was they were running from, but willing to find out from the safety of outside.

He brought a jagged earth spear forward with a grunt, expecting to hear a cry of pain from behind it but when he looked up at its edge, he jumped back. Zuko stood balanced easily at its tip, looking at him irritated and clutching a fist full of fire.

"Boy, I am warning you...!" Zuko snarled "I will sign my name on your back in blisters!"  
>"You made me like you!"<br>"I did no such thing!" Zuko hissed quickly, grateful the area had cleared relatively. "Now, get a hold of your self...!"  
>"But you said..."<p>

"I never said anything happened between me and her!" Zuko snapped, jumping off the miniature cliff and landing lithely on the ground. The left side of Takeshi's face was a hot red from his slap-and Zuko recoiled thinking how it could have turned to something more permanent, like his own 'signed face'.

"And besides..." Zuko whispered dangerously to Takeshi "It isn't what upsets you. You don't even care for her...!"

"Regardless, she is mine!" Takeshi snarled and Zuko blanched as he watched a cold fire dancing in the boy's eyes, something he associated with Azula in her crueller times.

"And you know what..." Takeshi dusted his pants, wiping his hands on his shirt, a smile pulling on his lips cruelly "It really doesn't matter. It is like you said; my rule will come and I will be King then-maybe sooner and maybe later, and Kings need good friends"  
>"Enough of this" Zuko coughed, gulping.<p>

"Yes, of course..." Takeshi smiled, holding out his hand for Zuko's "Will you forgive me, Fire Lord... for the misunderstanding?"  
>"Of course" Zuko said gruffly, gingerly placing his hand in Takeshi's and letting him shake it twice.<p>

"Acquaintances?" Takeshi asked.

"Of course" Zuko managed again.

"Let's leave this place "Takeshi laughed "The authorities arrival will verify too much" 

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

"What happened to your face, Takeshi?" Sokka asked with wide eyes-he had insisted on us walking the girl-Jaden-to her home, and it was easily discernible he hoped we were drunk enough to be talked into staying while he spent the night with her. Unfortunately, I had never been more sober... "Did you get caught up in the fight at the tavern? You probably tried to break it up, knowing you Takeshi!"

You don't know him Sokka. None of us do. Not even his father... 

"Exactly" Takeshi smiled; I felt the cold chill of his eyes on my face. I remained silent, walking briskly down the road, hating Sokka for dragging the night out due to the detour to the girl's home and the arguing that followed for us to say-which ended with a flash of fire flung at his feet.

"I think you need another Fire Whiskey" Sokka laughed, swinging his arm around me. I shrugged it off violently.

"I am never drinking again" I scowled.

"That's what they all say!" Sokka laughed "Come on, you had a good time"  
>"The worst"<br>"Don't be like that, Zuko" Takeshi chortled. "Play nice..."

Don't say my name Takeshi, I really want to get to the palace and head back to my Nation immediately-without murdering you.

"What is wrong with you, Zuko?" Sokka asked seriously "The night was perfect, minus Takeshi's obvious nasty spanking..."

"It was worth it" Takeshi said.

"How did _you_ escape unscathed?" Sokka asked.

"Because I am a _man_" I growled, spotting the rising sun and feeling my chi awaken with it, I could see the shape of the palace walls in the distance.

"We are all men, here" Takeshi said tetchily.

"Some more so than others, evidently" I growled. "When you don't fear pain, you don't _bruise_ as easily"

"I'll keep that in mind" he replied hotly.

"I suggest you include it in your prayers" I retorted, Sokka watching our exchange between us in confusion.

"I tend to pray with Toph, maybe I'll share that with her"  
>"I tend to pray with my hands, maybe I'll lay them on you... for blessings and such"<br>"Uh...?" Sokka breathed "Maybe we should keep our adventures to ourselves"  
>"I wasn't planning on sharing" I snapped.<p>

"Me neither!" Takeshi hissed.

"Well, I don't kiss and tell so don't even ask..." Sokka finished absently, grinning goofily and I puckered my face, Takeshi's face reddening. And in a dreamy voice, Sokka ended with a "That girl could start wars between nations!"

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**The atmosphere has felt a bit awkward since the 'Reckless' Chapter, sort of like I have lost touch of Zuko. Maybe it's just me... but it kind of causes the drawing out of the chapters to be long and strenuous and I am trying not to pause this story while waiting on the light to reignite.**

**I took three weeks to do this and not impressed *missing the good old carefree days, sigh***

**Do review, your thoughts on things are always greatly appreciated and tend to inspire me in ways you couldn't even understand!**

**Xx**

**Tj**


	37. Hang Ups

The knuckles of my right and left hand were slightly pink-the curse of being ambidextrous, even when fighting. Just a barely noticeable tint, an ignorable rawness to my knuckles every time I flexed my hand. Nothing to worry about, and if I got my hands on some aloe ointment, the evidence would be erased off my skin.

My lips on the other hand...

No amount of brushing my teeth or scrubbing could erase the revulsion I felt, the shame wheedling through me that I had inadvertently _allowed_ him to kiss me. A concoction of emotions; anger, fear and murderous rage and some of it directed at my own self. I had been so naïve, foolishly so; veiled like a child who refused to understand the world around it...

"That slug-snake!" I growled, clenching my fist and feeling that lusty twinge of pain in my knuckles. Takeshi, who had seemed so harmless with his large smile and twinkling eyes... stupid twinkling eyes directed at me. "Poke those damned things out with a toothpick..."

How stupid could I have been! Even when his mouth was on my own I had not realised what was happening... or maybe I was praying to Agni it was the alcohol, he had fallen and landed on my mouth... or maybe I was really an 'idiot Fire Lord'. He was touching my face telling me how 'gorgeous' I was... he was sulking because girls arrived at the table (guaranteed I had not been impressed by that 'Sokka move' but I had taken it in stride, hadn't I?)... he may have also been the one to convince Sokka and I to play 'catch up' with our drinks while he sat there sipping on coco-mango juice with a drop of gin, waiting for me to get too intoxicated to refute his advances. That slimy...

A knock on the door and I groaned, leaning heavily on the dressing table and peering up at my face. Unshaved, hair dishevelled and too long and I wasn't about to erase my scowl any time soon.

"Come in!" I roared, not moving from my position. I watched from the mirror as the door behind me opened slowly and when Aang entered, I groaned and closed my eyes in frustration; here comes the lecture. But behind his soft steps, there came furious charging...

"You idiot!"

"Of course I would wake up to her in the morning, hmm, Agni? A man cannot have a moment to enjoy his hangover?" I looked up at the ceiling to Agni, catching Toph's form in the edge of my vision from the reflection of the mirror, struggling to be released from Aang's restraining arms. She was spitting, a wild cat and Aang was not going to stand a chance right now unless his eyes changed to blue immediately.

"Let me go!"Toph growled, they were squirming and struggling in the middle of the guest bedroom. "You know what...!"  
>"Huh?" Aang blinked and Toph lurched the flooring upward and boxed Aang in ceramic tiles. He broke them apart just as easily and attempted to trip Toph with a jutting tile, but she skipped over it, making an intricate movement with her fingers and shackling Aang. He broke this too, and tried the same on her.<p>

"Stop!" Aang commanded but Toph whacked him with a hammer composed of the guest chamber flooring, he had drifted out of its way in time and seemed frustrated with Toph's indifference when it came to ruining King Kuei's interior.

"Let her be, Aang" I said-surprising my self when it came out a low chortle "She needs to get something of her chest, let's allow her"  
>"You are an idiot, you know that?!" she yelled, not turning away from Aang-convinced he would try and restrain her again.<p>

"Yeah, you have told me enough times" I murmured, picking up my shirt and dusting it out "But I am not sure what it is about this time..."  
>"Takeshi told us how you convinced him to go with you and Sokka to Bloed Khan?" Aang said softly and my smile slid of my face.<p>

"What the hell do you even know about Bloed Khan!" Toph yelled and Aang groaned. She was fuming, the weird bob her hair was cut in (the front was longer than the back), made her bangs puff out and in with each heavy exhale and inhale. Something was different about her... but weren't we _all_ different now. Adults after something short of two years...

"Toph, you said you would be calm" Aang sighed exhausted with her.

"Did I?" she asked but it came out a hoarse bark.

"Yeah" Aang said in a small voice. "You said you would be calm... even though this is Zuko"  
>"Hmm" she turned her head away "Well, it seems I lied"<br>"You lie about a lot of things, it seems" I said softly-I had been angry about something to do with that, vaguely aware of the reason lurking in my mind not two seconds ago... but the anger flew up to the heavens as I realised she was not a short curvy girl anymore-and it shocked me that it hadn't taken long for it to wear out, for naïve nubile to turn into something violently elegant and mature.

"Zuko?" Aang called my attention back to him and I snapped my head away from Toph's petulant huffing. "About Takeshi?"  
>"I doubt there is anything I can say that would make her..." I pointed rudely in Toph's direction, flinging the shirt on the bed indifferently "...make that impossible concrete mountain budge, and understand that I did <em>nothing<em> wrong"

"Why don't you bloody try and make me understand!" she roared, releasing her arms from their knot over her chest and spinning fully in my direction. She had grown taller, she had thinned out somewhat and Uncle had been right... I was very afraid she would be irrational about Takeshi, I was very afraid he had her in his clutches solidly and she would now hurt me as only she knew how...

"I don't even know what you were told?" I whispered, briefly glancing at Aang. He shook his head, folding his hands despondently.

"Firstly..." Aang began.

"You convinced Takeshi to go to down town Bloed Khan!" Toph yelled, her voice-it had never had the pitchy quality girl's contained-bounding off the walls in a low huskiness. She was terrifying in her irrational fury and I realised that there was a possibility she didn't want to understand. There was a possibility that she wouldn't believe me-or want to believe me and that realisation pricked my heart hard, and I wished desperately I could go back in time and mark Takeshi with a sign of shame similar the sign of bravery Ozai had left on my eye.

"Toph, won't you let me speak?" Aang sighed and she huffed, taking an aggressive step towards me. I had an idea Aang had intercepted her-she had wanted to come here alone and if she had, this chamber and some of this wing would have been destroyed before I managed a 'good morning'.

"Fine, coddle him" she spat, twisting her face in a disgusted look-that was supposed to be aimed at me but was off target. "Spoil your _favourite_, Aang"  
>"My favourite?" Aang blinked bemused. "My favourite what? Favourite Fire Lord?-well, Azula and Ozai weren't very agreeable..."<p>

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean!" she sneered, shaking her head in disappointment, tutting "You and I both know he needs a hiding; he needs you to go into the spirit world and call upon every single past Avatar and you all come back here and have a party, whacking him left right and centre with earth, wind and fire"  
>"What happened to water?" Aang asked confused and twirling his index finger by his temple and mouthing 'she is insane' to me.<p>

"I can see you, you floating freak! Seismic senses and all" Toph said dryly, twirling her own finger by her temple "I am surrounded by idiots!"

"I didn't take Takeshi to Bloed Khan" I said seriously, trying to drone out Toph's indignant muttering and pacing.

"So what?" Toph smirked "He just happened to bump into you and Sokka there? And this is not even half of the shit you are in..."

"Takeshi suggested we go, so we went" I stated in forced calmness "And initially we had gone to view the buildings, for the project Aang...?" I implored him to understand but he shook his head.

"So you went to Bloed Khan and then decided to ditch King Kuei's party and get drunk in some pub?" Aang asked "And somehow you thought this would help how with your project, Zuko?"

"I didn't decide anything!" I snarled.

"I told you he was an idiot" Toph said seriously to Aang, and then looked at me with the same level of seriousness "You are an idiot, Zuko-just to remind you... seeing as how your idiocy keeps causing you to forget that you are an idiot!"

"Your _pretty_ boyfriend is the idiot!" I growled. "And you know what, you are an idiot too, Toph!"  
>"Well, you know what... its fiancé not boyfriend! Get the labels right, firefly!" she lifted her hand and waved it, showing a gleaming jewel encrusted bracelet on her wrist.<p>

"So he gave you that after telling you how I lured him to Bloed Khan or before that?" I chuckled "This innocent fiancé of yours, Toph?"

"Well, this fiancé of mine won't get pregnant with some unknown man's child!"  
>"Are you sure about that?" I laughed derisively.<p>

"Zuko, Takeshi came back limping and bruised badly?" Aang murmured, surprising me when his soft voice cut through Toph and me's huffing and growling "He missed his father's party when he never misses anything, not to mention the fact that he missed his own engagement announcement. Zuko, I know Takeshi..."  
>"You don't know Takeshi, he is pure evil!" I hissed and Toph pointed at me accusingly.<p>

"See, I told you I couldn't trust him alone with Takeshi!" she yelled, angry at Aang "He took my Fiancé to a whorehouse!"  
>"Whorehouse?" I blinked.<p>

"You and Sokka went all over Dar Sa Pour _fucking..._" she scowled violently, her eyes were hidden but her nose scrunched up hard. She fumed, pausing to shake with anger.

"Ha! The problem isn't Dar Sa Pour, it's the women... then?" I laughed "Is that what he told you, Toph...?"

She couldn't answer, she was shaking and incensed-her lower lip quivering.

"He told you that I was whoring with Sokka?" I asked her softly.  
>"Debauchery and Lies...!" she hissed and I felt the underneath of the floor, beneath my sweating feet, tremble. "And then after that, you pulled a man of his chair and involved Takeshi in that fight!"<br>My jaw fell open with a pop.

"Zuko..." Aang's cold grey gaze cut me.

"And how dare you threaten to steal me from him, telling him I wasn't _worth much_...!" she finished and with that, the ground I stood over wobbled and warped and three spiking poles of concrete, cement and earth sliced over my head and I crouched instinctively to the floor as they formed a cage around me.

I closed my eyes until the earth stopped shuddering, and when I was sure she wouldn't spear me with something, I opened them. The pole cage was constricted so I was unable to stand, and I did not want to give her the impression that I wanted to duel with her... so I refrained from blustering my self free.

"Toph" I said slowly, my voice shaking. "You are being unreasonable, Aang tell her...?"  
>I looked up and saw that Aang was standing timidly next to a shaking Toph, his hand hovering unsure behind her back... as if to console her.<p>

"Toph?" I tried but she growled in return, Aang dropping his hand after realising a comforting pat on the back might be perceived as a threat. "Toph, he is lying..."  
>"You really do think I am an idiot?" she leered from behind the safety of her hair "I am a walking lie detector, remember?"<p>

"Then you would know he is lying!" I yelled, rising and blowing the poles away haphazardly and ending up with a slight burn on my bare chest. "He is lying, he is a conniving...!"  
>"He isn't lying, Zuko" Aang said slowly. "She would have known. I was there when he recounted everything to King Kuei"<br>"Then he twisted things carefully, it's obvious...!" I fisted my hair, skipping over the rubble of the floor "I don't know. I don't... you can feel my heart, Toph. I am not lying to you! Why are you choosing to believe _him_"  
>His eyes held that glinting sadism Azula's had-it wasn't by much, Takeshi could never ever hope to compare to Azula but it was there. Narcissistic and titanium self delusions when needed.<p>

"He knows how to con your gift, Toph" I whispered astounded. "He just believes his version of things..."

"You are pathetic" Toph finished, waving a hand at me unmoved "You are so pathetic it hurts" and with that, she walked out.

"Zuko?" Aang said "Buddy..."  
>"But if she can see he is not lying then she can tell I am telling the truth!" I hissed "Aang, there can never be two truths that are different...!"<br>"Zuko!" Aang roared with uncustomary authority, I controlled my frantic desperation quickly. "Your plans, your project? Do you remember that?"  
>"Yes" I said sharply.<p>

"The meeting is today, and then I suggest you leave the Earth Nation immediately" he said strongly and then added "I can't believe you pulled Sokka into this; you know he has had it rough with Suki gone"

"I just don't understand why you are taking this lightly" Aang finished.

Xx~xx~xX

It would be so easy to call on the old me before the meditation, training and even the gardening with Azula... the old Zuko, the young Zuko from before; the Zuko who was stuck on a ship, banished and disgraced for months. The Zuko who was dealing with having a brandishing on his face showing the whole world that he was never going to be good enough for his father, that little boy who contained the anger of many a nation in him... stuck on a ship, his emotional and social growth stunted from being surrounded by men who hated him for taking them away from their families for being a 'brat'.

That Zuko would have murdered Takeshi if he was contained in this fully grown body. That Zuko would have used his understanding and new experience of combat, merging the other forms of elements and lightning in this tall muscled body to end that insolent self-gratifying slug-snake.

I shouldn't be smiling at the thought of calling on my impulsive teenage self and letting him rampage in my body. It would be like being possessed by some spirit, I wouldn't really have control of myself. Could you hold a possessed person accountable for their actions whist possesses? No, I shouldn't smile...

"You have perfect teeth, we know" Sokka murmured "But stop smiling like that, you are freaking me out"  
>"Sokka, did you hear the version of events from last night?" I asked him carefully. There was a game being played. No, Takeshi had been playing a game all along, from day one. To everyone he was perfection. To Toph he was young naïve boy... something innocent and good-a stark contrast to me, something she could run to and hide herself in. Maybe my training with Azula and having her as a sister was preparing me for this cheap knockoff of Azula's manipulating tactics?<p>

"Oh, that the guy you took the chair from attacked you and Takeshi tried to arbitrate and ended up getting a hiding?" he droned, turning green slightly then gulping back and closing his eyes, his cocoa colour returning.

"Is that what you heard?" I asked him.

"That's what happened, isn't it?" Sokka asked placing a plastic with melting ice blocks on the side of his head "Don't worry man, I defended you... I told Kuei and his wife-I can never remember her name- that you were just excited that they had Fire Whiskey and flaming tots and got a bit carried away with it. I got your back, man"  
>"You told them I was drunk?" I gasped.<p>

"No..." he smiled "I told them you were plastered all the way to the spirit world, but there was nothing to worry about-you are a functioning drunk and can take a lot of poison in your system, thankfully"

And he believed this version of things so of course his heart wouldn't stutter!

"You look spooked?" Sokka frowned at me.

"You are never to defend me, do you understand?" I said severely to him. he blinked once, twice then shook his head.

"You are ungrateful, you know" he leaned back into his chair and placed the packet on the table, surveying me charily "Did you want me to let them think you let Takeshi get a hiding for you?"  
>"He didn't get a hiding for me!" I said quickly at him, turning to make sure the Earth Nation servants were far off "He got the hiding from me!"<br>"You hit him?" Sokka scoffed. "Come on, that kid is practically hit proof with is niceness! He could get the devil to to give him a piggy back ride!"

"And I am the devil...?"  
>"You breathe fire, don't you..." Sokka said matter of fact "And why would Takeshi lie?"<br>"He..." I wanted to tell him everything, but then this was Sokka. He had told the King-who we were supposed to be convincing later on in the day that we had noble plans for his city-that I was an alcoholic, too drunk to protect his son from a beating I had caused.

"He what?" Sokka raised an eyebrow. "Why would you even hit him? And he has no burns on him, Zuko. Last I check, a punch from a Fire Bender feels like being hit with a flaming comet... or coal, depending on the size of the fist and..."

"You weren't there" I said disappointed. He had not seen anything past what Takeshi had allowed for him to see.

"I was, Zuko" Sokka said seriously "And what I saw was that Takeshi really likes you"  
>"Too much, in fact" I grumbled.<p>

"Exactly!" Sokka yelped "That's your problem, you are used to people flinging stuff at you instead of _hugs_"  
>"I think he wants to do more than hug"<br>"There is nothing wrong with handholding, Zuko" Sokka reprimanded and then reached across the table and picked my hand up "Come on, hold my hand?"  
>"No" I looked at him dubiously "Release my hand or I'll burn you. And I seriously don't want to burn you, Sokka..."<br>"Because we are friends?" he smiled.

"No" I frowned at him "Katara doesn't take too kindly when the Fire Nation messes with her family"  
>"Oh" he dropped my hand disappointed. "Well, any way... I know his enthusiasm for you might be irritating, I mean, it irritates me to just watch it but cut him some slack"<p>

"Cut him some slack?" I scoffed.

"Yeah, he had to tell King Kuei it was your idea..." Sokka sighed "All he wanted to do was show you a good time, Zuko"  
>"Show me a good... Argh! He lied to Toph!"<p>

"You can't lie to Toph!" Sokka laughed "Are you still drunk, man?"  
>"Well, he lied to her" I repeated stonily.<p>

"About what?" Sokka asked.

I remained silent and Sokka gave up on an answer after a minute.

"Look it was a great night, let's just remember it like that" he sighed.

"Whatever"

"I wait patiently for the day you stop being a sulking bitch" he said gruffly rising wobbly "I am going to take a nap before the meeting, later"

Xx~xx~xX

"The technological advancement programme would give way to job opportunities and skills" Aang said, his long fingers tapping against each other as he watched King Kuei-a bored looking King Kuei.

"It would bring self-sustenance to each colony" I added.

"Each village" Sokka whispered quickly to me, watching as the old man beside King Kuei frowned, pursing his thin lips at me.

"Each Earth Nation village that had been oppressed before would not only be free, but have wealth" I said and Aang threw me a smile.

"It sounds promising" the old man-I remembered him as Dintsu from Kuei's visit to my Nation, a notable advisor. The system of King Kuei's decision making was intricate and I wished the Earth Nation operated like the Fire Nation-I would only have Kuei to worry about convincing...

Not have three other individuals to keep in mind and then Takeshi-sitting quietly and as innocent as an angel, nodding his head at all the right places and being the perfect Prince who did not contradict his King.

"Sokka, tell us about the water systems?" I leaned back and signalled for Sokka to say his part. He blanched and bobbed his head, and before he had a chance to stammer his introduction-I looked indicatively from him to the glass of water by his hand. He picked it up slowly and took a slow sip, before wiping his mouth.

"The water..." he said slowly "Pipes"

"Yes" I smiled at him. I knew about the large vast desert between being a warrior and cultural attaché, a representative to many in one.

"It's a system we developed in the North-Western outskirts of the Earth Nation, I call it 'Water Whirls'" Sokka smiled "Its pipes that run through the ground and push water through the village-or in this case a city-and branch off into private pipes for private properties. There would be no more buying tanks to deliver water on a daily bases"  
>"The Fire Nation has had them installed for a few years now" I said. "The versions you have are not as efficient and who better to deal with your water issues than a Water Nation representative?"<br>"He is the Water Nation..." a man beside Takeshi asked and I shook my head.

"He is representing another group; Sokka deals with technologies" I murmured

"And this is the first of our interactions" Aang smiled. "There is more!"  
>"About your plans for Ba Sing Se..." Takeshi breathed and I felt my face spasm "Uhm, Fire Lord Zuko...?"<br>"They really are not Zuko's plans as much as they are plans for everyone" Aang smiled and Takeshi returned the smile willingly enough. I smiled too as I watched his bruised face twist with the motion.

"Yes, Fire Lord..." Takeshi began and I raised my hand.

"It will be _Lord _Zuko, Takeshi" I smiled "We are past coyness; you know me so thoroughly and I know you too. We can shorten some of these formalities" I was aware of Kuei's eyes on me.

"Yes, if you would elaborate on your more grandeur plans for Ba Sing Se, our Nation's jewel" he smiled sickeningly sweetly at me. "Erm, Lord ...Zuko"

"A metropolitan" I said "More than she is now; technology, advancements in traffic and transport and service deliveries that would extend past borders... And Sokka here has the brains..." I could not believe I was saying it "To lead our team into that"  
>"I agree fully" Aang said cheerily and I laughed internally; as much as Sokka had proved himself to hold a cup of brains that constituted of strategic creations-it still felt like handing him an egg and praying he did not sit on it.<p>

"Hmm, does it not sound lovely Takeshi?" King Kuei squealed and Takeshi failed to hide the subtle rolling from his eyes from me.

"So lovely, Lord Zuko is full of loveliness" he droned, touching his swollen yellowish brow gingerly.

"We work on all the colonies immediately" I continued "And I would bring in all the Fire Nation engineers to Ba Sing Se to ensure..."  
>"Wait" Takeshi raised his hand in the same manner I had risen my own. "It almost sounds like you are being so generous?"<br>"Because he is, isn't he Takeshi?" King Kuei murmured.

"With what?" Takeshi asked, raising an eyebrow "The Water Nation will work with our people to build up _their colonies..._"  
>"They are not the Fire Nation colonies!" I snapped.<p>

"So Fire Nation workers will be present to haul the waste of construction or will they be there to stand around giving orders?"

"Takeshi..." King Kuei breathed "I thought you said you had forgiven him?"

"I have father" Takeshi said with wide eyes "I just want to make sure we are doing the right thing, I am sure Zuko understands that-one seeks to learn from his father as a prince"  
>"Such a wise boy" Dintsu sighed, smiling at Takeshi.<p>

"I see his point" another man agreed.

"I see the nobility of your proposal, Zuko" he said it deliberately, challenging me "But I suggest a trade; as it is, we are giving the Fire Nation more work really. It's your men and women who will be _managing _us... as it was for so long"  
>"What is your proposal?" I breathed annoyed.<p>

"You can begin your project if you hand over the blue prints to all your military weapons" he said coolly, his hands clenched in front of him.

"No" I said.

"Then you cannot begin" Takeshi murmured, disappointedly.

"King Kuei maybe we can discuss this...?" Aang spoke directly to Kuei casting Takeshi a confused look-he had obviously swallowed the angel pill whole and now was suffering side effects at this cold executing robot sitting opposite him on the board table.

"Zuko is set to leave today, father" Takeshi said apologetically. "There really isn't enough time, Dintsu... when can father and I travel again?"  
>"Two months with your engagement preparations" Dintsu said and I cringed. "It may even be longer, Prince Takeshi..."<br>"King Kuei..." I murmured "Please"  
>"Next year we can discuss this" Takeshi answered instead while Kuei seemed confused, in way over his head.<p>

"King Kuei" I repeated firmly "Have you heard what I have said?"  
>"Erm..." he looked at Takeshi then Dintsu and then Aang. "Yes"<p>

"And?" I asked him "Do you want this to be prolonged in to next year?"

"Father, time is what we need!" Takeshi said quickly "If Zuko..."  
>"Lord Zuko, boy" I growled and Aang's eyes widened, Dintsu spluttering something but Takeshi chose to ignore it.<p>

"Zuko..." he tried again and I growled "Lord Zuko"

"Fine, Lord Zuko then!" he snapped, then returned to his father "Father, it seems _Lord Zuko _thought he would just be given free range of our Ba Sing Se to do as he pleases"  
>"I am sure that is not what Lord Zuko... what you are implying Takeshi is a bit strong" King Kuei stammered.<p>

"He wont give us his military plans..." Takeshi said slowly "Then we wont give him anything lest he paint it all red"

King Kuei's face hardened slightly, eyes twinkling. He wasn't the lopsided man his son thought him to be, I had known that before Takeshi had joined the world of politics.

"One colony" King Kuei said coolly and I groaned but remained silent. One was better than none "One colony, Lord Zuko and then we will have another meeting stemming from that. Let us end this, I don't want to keep you from your Nation much longer"

Xx~xx~xX

She didn't live at the Bei Fong house anymore.

I imagined her trying to convince her mother that she wanted to stay alone, and Poppy Bei Fong having a heart attack and quoting how a young woman does not leave her family house unless she is married or has shamed her father with an illegitimate child. And Toph was neither, no not her-she would never fall to such pathetic mistakes... those were the kind of things I would expect from Ty Lee-and yet it was Mai who had accomplished them instead, in all her rigidness.

So Toph had her own cottage at the corner of the Bei Fong's decadent estate. It couldn't be called small, but it wasn't ostentatious either-like the last two I had passed on my way here, through the trees and shadows. Something about it was very Toph-the simplicity of its complexity, such effortless juxtapose that winded to some surprisingly hypnotic blend, like Fire and Water running and merging together as lava.

I was in the trees of course, dressed in black and donning a wrap over my head to hide my face. Not from her, she would see me without looking-but Takeshi had turned into my nighttime bogeyman. Not because I feared him, but I feared his mind; its workings and machinations and the way he managed to play the world like some instrument.

He thought me a brute; that was easy for me to tell. He thought me mindless and filled with rage and fire... and he would expect me to act on that. To react to his lies and carefully constructed explanations. I had played that game with Azula so many times before, since birth... I had no time for such _childishness._

The lights in the house are off-she wouldn't need lights, if she was staying alone but her servants would need them. But Toph wouldn't have servants-no, not her. She was beyond needing to be served, such pride.

I was on the roof, silent and watching. The leaves rustled from the thick tree I had been perched in. They were dry and gave a soft spiced smell, their contact to the roofing scraping and perfect to cover my movements. I flung myself at an angle through the window, holding on to the top of the window frame until I felt the floor beneath my shoes. I released my grip from the wooden frame and swiftly fell to the floor, crouching and peering into the darkness; shadows of furniture, an archway leading into some room. I stood up carefully and took three steps, my eyes adjusting to the low light and listening for any movement.

Silence.

It was about two in the morning. I had scheduled the ship to leave at four, quoting that the time we left would ensure we arrived in the Fire Nation during the day. But she would be asleep at this time, and surprising Toph was something that was nearly impossible.

She had stone flooring, naturally. I removed my shoes, however soft they were... I couldn't risk it. The stone was cold and smooth... the thought that she walked over it bare foot made my centre warm. Feet were nothing offensive, but something about it being her feet on this very ground I was feeling with my own feet made me shudder-like we had licked the same spoon, or bitten through the same fruit. It felt intimate. I could see her small pale feet moving with such resolute grace over them, the stone was probably a golden-cream colour with light... the colour would almost merge with Toph's skin as she had indulged in the sun during her touring. Her skin wouldn't match my ridiculous whiteness anymore. A sign of nobility, I remember Azula saying. But it had just been a jab at Katara from Azula's part-it was a sign of sheltering, if anything.

The living room-it must have been the living room-was filled with what I could make out to be cushion and tables. Iroh had been here probably, to help decorate with Poppy. They probably had tea...

I was suddenly fiercely jealous of Iroh and his ability to waltz in and out of Toph's life when my gate pass had just expired. Lucky old man...

The corridor was dark, the walls set wide apart and two doors lined on each side. I knew immediately her room was at the end of the corridor, right opposite me. I could feel it. I took one step and paused; I still didn't know what I was saying to her. I might wake her up, and she might agree to listen and then I would be staring at her blankly.

Could I tell her that Takeshi had kissed me? That he was a lying snake who wanted to own her simply because of his own ambitions-I knew all about ambitions and he was ruthless to the core about his aspirations. He wanted to be king, I could see that in his eyes; he tolerated his father and had an intelligence that was hidden in wide eyes and sincere naivety.

And the probability of her believing me past her truth telling gift was slim. Her ability was her crutch in this-he was using it against her. She had trained him, he had studied her as one with ambitions does-you study and learn all the routes to your success. He would know to always keep an element of truth to his lies-it makes the controlling of ones heart easier, I am sure. Azula on the other hand, she didn't need to worry about learning control... It had been her bread and butter since birth. Control, Power and Fire.

But she would feel it in my heart that I was telling the truth, and for now... I let that lead me to her door.

Xx~xx~xX

I touched the flat wooden handle and groaned. I had more than enough experience with Toph to know that when I slid the door to the side, she would hear it and awaken. But since I had enough experience with Toph, I knew she was snoring...

Her room was light, the windows open and air sifting in and out with abundant freedom. I should have entered through this here, I sighed. The bed was on the opposite wall to the door, the windows on either side of it large and opened wide. The soft curtains billowing around the bed and the stars outside forming the perfect picture in the square windows.

I let a flame pull through from my palm, feeding it carefully till the room was caressed by the soft orange glow. She was curled in her bed; sheets twisted like vines through toned legs and her hair a mess of black by the pillow. Her one hand disappeared in the short mass of hair while the other clutched a giant pillow to her. I took a step closer, and only because I had thought of them... I lowered my hand to the bed slightly, the flames glow touching her feet lightly and painting her legs in gold.

The underneath of her feet were dirty, like I had expected. The sheets were white, her gown would be white-she was hidden in the twining sheets. My breathing was increased and I tried to ignore it. I tried to keep my argument at the fore front. I had stopped thinking of her as some sort of goddess long ago-or at least, hidden those thoughts from my conscious to somewhere far in the back of my mind... a place I could only visit in deep sleep.

The wind blew in with one wild gust, curtains moving up and wide and I didn't bother to save the flame I carried in my hand. It blew out of my grasp and died. I touched my finger to the underneath of her dirty feet and her big toe twitched. I retracted my hand...

Was I insane to scale into a girl's house and proceed to watch her while she slept? Who does that...!?

"Ahhh..." she groaned and twisted in her silk restrains slightly before resuming her soft snoring after a single snort.

She was still, oblivious to my presence and as calm as I had ever seen. Nothing like the hurricane that had flung my arm off of her while we lay naked by the lake and proceed to dress up furiously, making unintelligible words that broke my heart, and pound the pieces to dust.

I was angry at her for that, for pushing me into that corner so I could understand her reasoning and agree with her that it all could never be. That we had to leave it by the side of that lake and let it die.

"Toph" I breathed and she made no response except for her soft snoring's continued song.

"Toph Bei Fong" I said a little loudly and she groaned and twisted, turning her body so her front was up and her face was finally visible in the light of the starry night. Her lips were parted, full plump things that used to be so innocently sinful but had transformed to seducing weapons of mass destruction. I wonder if she knew what arsenal she held yet, always so reliant on her bending when she had other weapons.

I wonder if Takeshi really had interest in these weapons... _it would be a waste_, a voice that sounded like Sokka said disappointedly from somewhere in my mind.

She groaned again and flung her hand over her head and features contorted from tranquil archangel to sulking cherub.

"Toph" I said again and she moaned irritably, her eyelids scrunching up. "Toph Bei Fong!"  
>"The hell, I swear I am pure, Mom! I just fell off an ostrich-horse and sprained my uhm, hymen...!" she shot upright, breathing hard and rubbing her eyes. I remained quiet, standing by her bed and she froze her furious rubbing, hand still fisted by her eye and deliberately sniffed the air.<p>

"Ash and a hint of ego" she drawled scowling "And a traitorous heart to boot"  
>"I am not a traitor, you urchin" I said parched. "And what ostrich-horse..."<p>

"Shut up and get out" she stated coolly. "If I called the guards here, it won't leave a good impression on King Kuei-you being in his son's fiancé's bedroom and all after getting him drunk and beaten in Bloed Khan and all"

"I thought you were your own protection?"

"Get out" she said dryly.

"I needed to talk to you"  
>"So you sneak into my house?" she asked dropping her hand in her lap wearily "Listen, I am tired-there really isn't much to say Zuko. You said you could handle everything after my party, and I was right. You couldn't. You hate losing"<p>

"You said I hadn't lost you" I whispered, sitting on the edge of her bed-Agni had recovered me, this was the best reception I had imagined. "You said it would never be the same but it wouldn't really be like losing you"  
>"I lied"<p>

"You need to stop doing that" I murmured "Not all of us are walking lie-detectors"

"Is this about this morning?" she asked.

"You were ready to kill me"

"I..." she looked away and yawned. "I had planned out the worst case scenario in my head Zuko, so even after Takeshi told me you had done nothing wrong..."  
>"He said I had done nothing wrong?" I asked in disbelief.<p>

"Was he wrong?" she asked "Had you done something wrong, because that was my initial belief. I thought Takeshi was covering for you because he likes you so much"  
>"Hmm" I clenched my fists by my side. "I did nothing wrong"<p>

"So yeah" she sighed, falling back on the bed "I had thought you had done something wrong, even though Takeshi said you hadn't"  
>"He said I had done nothing wrong...?" I whispered. "Was he lying?"<br>"I just asked you that..."  
>"No, I mean... did you feel his heart... that he was lying?"<p>

"Well, yeah..." Toph said sleepily, but I could hear the alertness in her voice. "A little I guess-he really likes you and wanted to defend you"

"He is nothing like Azula, I knew it!"  
>"You really should leave, Zuko" Toph murmured "Aang told me he told you to leave immediately, to go back and just get things in order. I get it, with everything with Mai and Azula has a boyfriend..."<p>

"Azula has a boyfriend?" I asked dumbfounded.

"She mentioned someone in her last letter, she didn't say _boyfriend_ but she bothered to mention this person who wasn't her or you...so..."

"You can't read"  
>"I have servants who can, you idiot"<p>

"Right" I said gruffly "You weren't at the meeting"  
>"I was still pissed and confused" she said calmly.<p>

"Confused about what?"

"I don't know" she sighed and yawned again. "Takeshi, he was really upset about you disappointing him by being too drunk to stop that guy beating him up. I was disappointed too, Zuko. And everything he was saying happened seemed so unlike you..."  
>"Exactly, you know me better than most, Toph!" I breathed, my heart thudding hard with a mixture of emotions; anger, disbelief, fear and nerves. She was silent for a moment, my breathing filling the air.<p>

"Yeah, Zuko..." she whispered "But it sounded like the 'you' before I met you. The old 'you' Katara and Sokka used to tell me about"

"The angry shamed prince seeking to redeem himself with any means necessary?" I asked her "You thought I had been trying to make him look bad to redeem myself?"

"You know there is nothing to recover, right-this it, right here-there is nothing else, Zuko?" she asked softly, folding her hands behind her head "We are both royally screwed. Your redemption and mine lies separate and far"

"So while your fiancé was screwing my plans for implementing technologies through out the world, you were thinking up a way to make sure the part about me thinking you were worth little and easy to steal away would never come true?"

She remained quiet, I could make out her lips pursing slightly.

"Did you believe that part, Toph" I asked her "When he told you I thought you weren't worth much"  
>"He said you told a bartender and..."<br>"Come on, Toph!"  
>"He was covering for you and...!"<br>"Did you believe him!" I hissed, leaning towards her, my arm propped on the bed. She turned her head away. "Toph?"  
>"Yes" she whispered and then braced herself ferociously forward, her hair whipped and pushed in all directions but revealing her eyes. They were shadowed and narrowed, angled precisely at my face-her face only a few inches from my own. "I believed it. I did. And you know what, I don't give a damn!"<br>"Well, you know what!" I snarled.

"What?!"

"I do" I said softly, looking away from her. "I give a damn what you think Toph; you may not think of me as often as I think of you... but in those rare instances you do spare me a second in your mind... I don't want it to be about me not thinking you're worth something. You aren't worth anything, Toph..."  
>You are worth everything. I wanted to say it, but my heart constricted and it caused it to hit the brakes on my voice as my mind yelled out that I was dooming my sanity once more. Did I want to return and turn into this version Takeshi had painted out for the world-a Zuko that held alcohol and violence as crutch to escape pain.<p>

Such a clever artist Takeshi was.

"If you knew the potency of the thing inside of me..."  
>"Don't talk like that!" she shushed, leaning forward and kneeling by me on the bed. Her soft hand ghosted over my cloth covered mouth held firm there. I shuddered as her perfume filled my nose. I pulled her hand away, she let me and her head fell beside my own, resting by my shoulder.<p>

"Toph, it twists in my heart this thing and I can't set it free..." I whispered "And it hurts. So much. It wants to be free and it thrashes and beats inside my chest-rebelling uselessly against me. I am keeping it prisoner, I am turning into Ozai to this thing..."

She didn't say anything and I almost thought she was crying. Her breath was cool on my neck; her hand had regained control and slid past my chest and to the cloth wrapped around jaw. She tugged and the wrap fell past my chin. Her hand moved up and touched the edge of my exposed jaw carefully.

"You shave now?" she asked softly, I could feel her heart causing her to shudder by my arm, were she leaned her body against.

"For meetings and such" I said "I am not to troubled about aesthetics, like you" I laughed nervously, my left hand were she was leaning against, rising and grazing her whatever she was wearing to crawl along her back and weave rudely into her hair.

"You aren't troubled either, it seems" I chuckled shakily.

"Do you think it looks nice?" she whispered shyly "My mother and Takeshi had a field day. They wouldn't hear my explanation about the heat in the jungle and my not having a mirror to see what I was doing..."  
>"Let me take a look" I laughed, removing my hand from her hair and bravely resting it by her waist-she swayed a little when she felt my hand there, but we both ignored it. "A blind haircutter, interesting..."<br>I bent a flame, her face and features had been visible enough with the light of the nigh but I was now hungry to see more of her. I used my right hand, only allowing the chi to flow constrained in my index finger and I carefully brought it u-holding her steadily.

She was beautiful; it hurt as it always did. She blinked once, the fire reflecting freely in dusty emerald eyes. Her hair was a mess from her sleep but I remembered how it had looked in the morning... it had not been better of there either, she had looked dishevelled. Probably from all the stress of Takeshi and the beating she didn't know I gave him.

The flame blew out. She wouldn't know. I touched her forehead and brushed a few strands away, my hand wanted to shake when it made contact. A stupid reaction, I had long passed the title of novice when I came to women... nothing like Sokka, certainly, but I had knew the particulars of certain things. It was just a fore head and of course she wouldn't know she was staring into my eyes. Although it felt like it.

"Do you like it?" she asked.

"You don't care about such things, Toph" I told her and she frowned slightly, looking away embarrassed-some reactions carried, blind or not.

"I know..." she murmured. Her heart beat furiously against my arm and I held her tighter hoping she would feel my own heart too. "But Poppy said it made me masculine and since I have more muscle tone..."  
>"What did you say to that?"<br>"I didn't care"  
>"So..."<br>"I want to know if you care?"

"Care that you are more beautiful than before" I said seriously "Nope, I don't care. Personally, I prefer you in a jungle fighting of wild cats..."

"Why did you come?" she asked.

"You are engaged to him" I told her "I couldn't leave things as they were... breaking more and more"

"You holding me like this and listening to my very Katara-like problems doesn't change anything"  
>"Did I say it did?"<p>

"No" she sulked, her eyes narrowing and then whacked my lightly on my head. I let her. All our mindless touching was wanted, even the pain; her hands insistent ghosting on my face, she was trying to stop-I knew she was-but just like I couldn't stop rubbing my thumb against her back through the gown...

"This is a strange form of sleeping attire" I whispered as her head lolled to the side of mine.

"I bet you have seen all the sleeping attire worn by women" she wanted to sound scathing but it came out a purr.

"It's dark"  
>"Is it?" she murmured "I wouldn't know"<p>

I flicked a flame and peered at it. It was red.

"You requested a red sleeping gown?" I asked her.

"I have no interest in colours, Zuko" she said absently, her hand travelling from my face to my shoulders and kneading there.

"It's a Fire Nation shirt" I murmured, seeing the gold collar by her defined collar bone. It was worn, the colour dusted and trimming fading from gold to beige. "Toph...?"  
>"Yes" she was smelling me, her nose nudging my neck and causing the flame to spike up before going out, as my eyes rolled lazily back.<p>

"Are you wearing my shirt?"

"You should go..." she whispered by my ear but her hands wound around me, embracing me instead. I turned my head abruptly and met her lips furiously with my own and she responded without surprise-we had known this was happening, everything else had been formalities. I was drinking her in, parched and desiccated heart quenching with her furiously. It was easy to understand that the famine would always be a part of my heart now, and was nourishment was found in brief intervals... I had to gorge past capacity.

"Argh...!" I groaned as she pulled away, crawling back on the bed and watching me-no, not watching me-challenging me to follow. Her legs were opened slightly and I crawled between them and wove my hand around her thigh and pulled her back down so she fell flat on her back with a growl. Her chest heaved through her shirt-my shirt-and her nose flared furiously. I stroked her thigh and pushed the hem of the shirt up over her abdomen. She shuddered were my fingers grazed skin, her lips parted and teeth clenched, jaw contracting from control.

I ran my hand down the smoothness of her stomach-toned, yes... but her skin was still lustrous silk. She moaned, back arching as my hand moved over her white undergarment-even in the low light, they splayed bright against her golden silk skin.

I kissed the inside of her left knee softly and she groaned almost in pain, I tasted her there and she wheezed my name in that textured voice of hers and as I travelled upwards kissing the one leg... she accused me of being a demon for torturing her.

"Just..." she tried to rise up, her breathing hard and laboured and I pushed her back down gently and she fell with such theatrics it caused me to smile. "Don't... be..." she panted "so..."  
>I kissed the hem of the offensive white cotton hiding her and she snapped her jaw shut, swallowing. I dipped a finger behind them and she shivered, her hands going into her hair. I pulled them down carefully, kneeling over her and angling her smooth legs and she tried to control her breathing. They were off and flung to some lucky corner of the room.<p>

"I like the hair cut" I murmured moving over her and reaching her face for a slow kiss "You may have cut too close though" I whispered, touching her lightly there and she moaned lustily in my mouth.

Would it be naïve of me to hope I had been the only one here?

"Roll over" she commanded.

Pathetically Naïve.

I refused momentarily, roving her body with persecuting hands and kneading flesh like it was dough. I was kissing her neck and she had momentarily allowed my male ego to believe I was in control. It was all momentarily, and pathetically naïve before her nails scraped my back and her legs wound behind my legs and she deliberately teased me with three movements. I groaned hard and my grip on her slackened and just like that, she spun me over and sat firmly over me. She removed the shirt-the pants had long since been discarded and I sat up to remove her fond sleeping attire.

Before I lost my self in her, before I worked diligently to let her know she was worth everything and anything without saying these things aloud and trying to kiss and love any trace of Takeshi away from her-maybe away from us both-I looked into her eyes. I brought her hand to my chest and willed her eyes to remain on me, unfocused as they were-they were to remain on me.

"Do you feel that?" I asked her.

"Yes" she whispered.

"That's the _thing_ Toph"  
>"The thing trying to break free?" she asked softly.<p>

"Yes" I murmured "And I know I will die if my heart escapes me and runs to you because it won't ever come back-it wont want to"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

The morning light always wakes me.

She was asleep in my arms, perfectly fit there. I didn't want to think that Agni had made her grow a little taller so she would be my match-but I thought it, and for a few minutes before I began removing her soft limbs from around me, I imagined a world were I had my perfect match created and she looked, no she wouldn't just look like Toph. She would be Toph.

Her mouth was crudely red and pouty, her hair invaded with feathers from some unfortunate pillow and there was a slight bruise on her arm from were we had fallen of the bed at one point.

She didn't wake as I got up, she didn't wake as I got dressed and as I moved to the door she remained curled in the pillows and sheets on the floor. It was only as I walked carefully away on cobbled pathway surrounded by small bushes and plants did I brave looking back at the cottage once more before I disappeared into the trees on my way to the harbour.

She was standing by her house, in my shirt-the current one I had arrived last night in, I had been unsuccessful in finding it and had opted to wear the old worn one she had taken so long ago. She stood leaning against the corner of the cottage, too far away for me to see the features of her face...

But not far enough that I didn't see the wild fire lilies growing below the window on the side of the house were the sun kissed the cottage good morning.

Xx~xx~xX

"Zuko!" Aang ran up to me. I was right by the entrance to the ship. I knew he wouldn't be able to smell Toph on me and had no reason to suspect anything after Toph and I's blow up in the guest chamber of King Kuei's palace... but I immediately began fidgeting with the worn shirt that was too tight on me and rid over my stomach.

"Uh, Zuko..." he looked at me sceptically.

"Rough night" I breathed, avoiding his gaze. "Like Sokka and Takeshi said; I go crazy for Fire Whiskey"  
>"You and I both know that's not true" Aang sighed frowning at the shirt.<p>

"You seemed inclined to believe that yesterday" I said tetchily.

"You are going through a few things that is all" Aang smiled. "Mai..."  
>"Can every one get over Mai!" I huffed "I know I am"<br>"I thought you had left?" Aang asked, looking back at the ship.

"I had... then I came back because the reception was that good" I said dryly and he laughed, slapping my shoulder-that twinged distinctly from my 'rough night'.

"Sarcasm!"  
>"Are you going to do that every time I make a joke?"<br>"Maybe..." he winked before walking away and waving "Have a safe trip, Fire Lord. Try not to corrupt anymore Princes?"

Xx~xx~xX

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**Thank you for the reviews and love, the magic of knowing someone is reading and enjoying is unbelievable. I am proud to say I found my muse, if you may call it that! **

**There are a lot of past pointers that are elaborated in here, and obvious future prospects. And of course, trying to tie it all with Korra. I had a little twilight reference that I always found odd... in here.**

**So hoping you are as excited by the hint of were Toph and Zuko's relationship is heading as I am. Just it might be a few steamy chapters**

**THE CULLENS ARRIVE is one third complete and the CORNERS OF IMMORTALITY may need a muse, too. thank you again for the support and reviews**

**Till next time, TJ**


	38. A Day in the Life of Zula

"And your business is what exactly?" Azula asked for the thousandth time, never breaking a sweat. Her eyes were alive with fire, her hair pulled back into an indifferent pony tail and hands clenched behind her back.

"I was seeking employment..." he rasped, twitching in his seat and trying to see the face of Ozai's daughter from beneath his drooping swollen eyelid. He made out her form, the little light filtering from the high window of the cell insufficient to aid his failing eyesight but adequate enough so he briefly met her golden glare before shying away, and revaluating his present situation-half naked, bruised and blistered and shivering in his seat.

He had received all his torture from rough guards, nameless men desensitized to such things. He wasn't sure if the girl had found them herself, he wasn't sure if she had had him stalked and cornered on the royal islands as he was... he liked to believe it was the Queen Mother or the Fire Lord he should be owing his deepest respect for such a tactful capture-better the mystic woman than the little girl. As famed as she was for her ruthlessness, the Fire Nation was full of gossip that he never readily believed and before him he made out only a grumpy young woman in desperate need of some grand ball and a charming prince.

And before him he made out a very bad choice in his previous employment-and as flattered as he was at the accusations that had been raining on him with thundering fists and flares of fire, he _really_ had been looking for employment on the Royal Island.

"You used to work in Garza's compound" Azula drawled lazily, looking around the decrepit cell thoughtfully, musings on days when she had been in something similar.

"I was looking for employment" he muttered, shaking his head lightly and drowning in the prickling sensation at his temple. He was vaguely worried, he should be in pain around his head but all he could make out were prickles and throbs. What he was much more worried about was how four guards had listened to the little girl (he refused to acknowledge her as a young woman, he himself had a child her age...somewhere in the Fire Nation..., and by Agni... she was a little girl!-he had heard Garza refer to Azula as that countless times with any regard) and exited the cell, right before unshackling him.

Wasn't he a threat to her thin elegant form? He could rise, and attack her. He was an adequate fire bender...

"What were you doing in the market?" she asked him, as though she hadn't asked him this thirty minutes ago, for the eighteenth time or so-the same question in a series of subtle changes. Her tone never tired, never rose into excitement or frustration-it just remained parched of emotion and husky.

"Looking for goddamned employment!" he growled. "You do know there is a recession, your _highness?_"

"So you were looking for employment on the Royal Grounds?" Azula asked and he sighed, deciding not to respond but remained glaring at the wet cement floor. "What sort of _employment?_" she asked him. 

He snorted and rolled his better off eye effectively at her before turning his head petulantly away, without uttering a word.

"I think you were sent to spy" she said thoughtfully, such a tone that made it more of a question than an accusation, her head tilting slightly and small smile on her lips. He looked at her a little more carefully and realised that smile on her lips seemed... cruel.

"Think what you want" he had worked himself up to a point of bravery, he was getting out of here... he hadn't meant to come on the stupid lands, his brother had made him; quoting some connection and announcement for a job, telling him no one would connect him to the dreaded Garza and he would finally stop leeching of him... "I am getting out of here, little girl"  
>"Of course you are" Azula droned and he rose up shakily, he had regained some strength from the lazy part dialogue with the Princess that had carried on a few hours.<p>

He hobbled forward but she made no move to get out of his way.

"You just have to get past this little girl" she smiled at him and he frowned at her beauty, now a little more visible after he had moved from the misery of the back of his cell. She had that smile, that cruel smile on and her beauty reminded him of a something sharp, a knife or a katana. As though it could cut and severe all who sought to touch it...

"I don't want to hurt you" he said.

"I want to hurt you, very much" she replied tenderly.

"Girl..." he warned, fisting his sore hand and burning through the soft film of blood around it, the light filling his front radius and casting Azula in a warm glow.

"Man" she sighed, folding her left arm and resting her right hand on it, poising her hand and pointing two fingers upwards, a flare of blue casting her face in a cruel coldness. She let the flame lick upwards for a second before it returned into her, his fist had already been doused by fear. She changed her lazy stance and moved closer to him "I only battle with Master's these days" she said bored "I am afraid its going to have to be manual punishment for you, if you wish to venture on this suicide mission"

He backed away quickly, stumbling into his seat and shivering lightly. He cocked his eyes at her, determined to not let her blue fire and detached character intimidate him... further, and said in a shaky but still stubbornly adamant tone "I just want to know why it is I am being held!"

"I am sure you know about the little episodes around the villages...?" she asked him.

"Hmm" he murmured "I heard... stories of police activity and rebels... something about huts being burnt and homes..."

"An attack on homes by extremists claiming that the middle class and upper class were being given money to support Lord Zuko in congress on his conquest..." she paused and sighed, rolling her eyes and reproaching herself half heartedly while ignoring her prisoners bewilderment on her reaction "Lord Zuko's _noble _venture with the Earth Nation to build a technologically advanced city"

"That doesn't answer why I am here!" he hissed, glaring at her and reconsidering his initial fear that she was somehow a skilled warrior capable of ending him without fire bending.

"Lord Garza is still at large" she said coldly "And while I am unable to bring to court a few Noble Houses that I know as a fact support Garza... I have his once trusted servant wandering the Palace gardens..."

"I was looking for employment and the only thing available was _bloody gardening!_" he cried "I was Garza's messenger! His damned messenger, so close to his family and the only thing I qualify for is pruning your fucking roses...! You think I want to be here? For what? A reminder that I had once attended Ozai's balls as something more...?!"  
>"Shut up" she said coolly and his mouth quivered to a standstill before his mind could command it to. "You are employed" she said, watching him through narrowed eyes.<p>

"What?"  
>"You are employed" she repeated softly. "To me"<p>

"As your messenger?" he guffawed.

"Oh, heavens no!" she laughed "You just said you only qualify for gardening and I believe on giving work according to credit... I have a little garden on my private estate that may need occasional tending to when I am away... on something or other"

"I... can't accept"

"Well, you only qualify for gardening... but I don't think you qualify for innocence" she smiled at him and studied her long nails patiently. "There are so many who slipped under Lord Zuko's radar for crimes against the Royal family or was it crimes against humanity, hmm? Anyway... and as he is away, you may need to stay in your cosy little cell thinking about how it is you assisted Garza in trying to _murder _my brother?"  
>"I didn't do such a thing...!"<p>

"You just said you were close to his family, that you were his... currently very _damned_ messenger" she smiled at him "And while both you and Garza do not have blue blood, although Garza likes to pretend he does at suitable times... like when he is trying to make himself a Lord of a Nation..., you do have a binding contract. And as you never really signed a release form to that..."  
>"I couldn't exactly quit when Garza had just run off! Who was I going to quit to? The only thing left on his property was the dog!" he wailed but she waved her hands, indifferent to his mounting sorrows<p>

"Well, you should have barked up that tree?" she paused and gave a small private smile to herself "Adequate joke"

"Huh?" his mouth was hanging open, his brow shining with drying blood coated in sweat, his skin patched with purplish bruised and red rings and nerves and blood pressure on fire.

"Bottom line, you are still under Garza's name, your loyalties and such would still be sworn in with your patron and as such, you are accountable for your patron's full criminal miscellany"

"What law is that?" he asked in disbelief.

"That was me being polite, but if you want to be particular about it... then, let me lay it out for you" she sighed. "Basically, I don't give a damn about your life and surprisingly a little more for your rights... I was only being polite by making you feel better by quoting that archaic legislation-so you would feel better about being 'royally screwed'"

"Huh?"

"It's the cell or the shovel" she sighed. "Choose wisely, the only way you leave this prison is if I am sure you are insane enough that the only use Garza will ever have of you when he shows his face... is to wipe his arse... and you may not even be able to do that right"

"You don't scare me!" he hissed.

"You are one bipolar spy!" she laughed. "Do you want us to go through the options-there aren't many? The first one where I beat you senseless and break a few things and leave you groaning in here for a good month? Or the second one where I decide to use fire bending on you and illustrate to you exactly how pathetic you are? Or was it the third one you were contemplating... where you stick it out in here for a few months before realising insanity takes a lot longer than you thought...? Or the fourth one were you come with me... like you were always going to do with options one to three, and be this little girl's bitch?"

"Okay, you scare me" he whispered, rising from his seat pale and sober. "So, when do I start work"

"Right now" she stated and he looked at the high little window of his room, where he was certain the drops that had fallen on him were rain.

"It's raining?"

"You will find I am not as cruel as people make me out to be" she told him, raising a hand for him to walk behind her as they exited the cell together "You will be provided with a raincoat"

Xx~xx~xX

She tapped her long perfectly shaped nails on the glossy table, her eyes staring into his with a detached sort of patience. He couldn't answer her question, because the answer would mean confirming the end... and the rational part of his heart told him not to fear so much, it was only the end of _nothing_-for nothing had really ever happened.

"I am a realist" Azula sighed and then she asked again "Do you know what our reality is, Qie Chang?"  
>"That you are a Fire Nation Princess and I am..." he swallowed once, and then looked away-out to the lit tea garden with its floating lamps and beams, his vision ending right were the darkness failed to penetrate-the darkness that came from the plunging drop falling out to the seas.<p>

He still couldn't say it. He stared at his hands and then gazed at her long perfect fingers longingly-they would never touch his face. They would never hold his hand, those fingers-because they were Azula's and Azula required to be pushed, shoved and tormented into affection. And he was always on the wrong end of the bullying stick.

"I find emotional battles the most tedious and tiring" Azula said "But Ursa insisted... you know, after I jumped off the balcony to be away from you; so here we are, and it is Ursa's fault"  
>"It's Ursa's fault that you are breaking up with me?" Qie Chang frowned and Azula scowled at him.<p>

"Breaking up would be insinuating we were dating and we were most certainly not doing that!"  
>"Then why are we here?" he asked her softly. "Is this about the kiss?"<br>"A kiss" Azula said thoughtfully "I think I was more than generous with you with that one, don't you?"  
>"I don't know, Fire Princess" he murmured "It depends on what your idea of stingy is, I guess"<br>"Well, anyway... I just wanted to tell you that, our little _whatever-you-want-to-call-it _has run its course and now..." she paused, thinking and then smiled "And now after I came to terms that I was going through a few intense things... let us call them character issues. Finding myself and all of that philosophical pansy garbage..."

"Is this the 'It's me and not you' speech?" Qie Chang breathed. Azula pushed away from the table and stood up wearily, shaking her head in mild humour.

"Now why would I turn into a martyr about this of all _things_..._!?_" Azula laughed and then leaned on the table on her fisted hands, boring into Qie Chang's eyes "It's _both_ of us; I am _too_ much, and you are _just_ enough. Remember the kiss; as stingy as I may be to you, I did it out of _caring-_you would _die_ under the overwhelming weight of all of me..."  
>"I know I would die" Qie Chang mumbled and Azula's eyes flashed-he quickly looked away coughing.<p>

"Like I said, this is _Ursa's_ idea!" Azula moved away from the table, surveying what she was certain she would never miss "I was just going to ignore you-but she thinks you are such a sweet boy and I am trying to be... good, here. So cut me a break"  
>"Cut you a break?!" Qie Chang hissed in disbelief.<br>"This is all so tedious, I am tired" Azula breathed about to walk away from him but she froze-her hair whipping with the abrupt motion "Do you hear that?"

"You heard it, didn't you?" Azula asked, half turning. Qie Chang blinked once, confused-he had heard the loud roaring rumble, but it was as inconsequential a sound as the sound of his breaking heart.  
>"The thunder...?" Qie Chang frowned, his hands shaking in front of him. This was the only opportunity present for him to give his defences, but as he braved the words and pushed them through his mouth-his voice was drowned out by another ricocheting blast. They both looked to the sea front together this time, and Azula could make out a mangled cloud blacker than the night, drifting upwards and connecting with the badly starred sky.<p>

"Something isn't right" she said ominously, her eyes capturing every available light around them and piercing through the night. The majestic tea garden was lighted, but the darkness of the night seemed much richer than she had noticed. Qie Chang wiped his sweaty hands on his robes and rose from his seat clumsily, preparing to say something of value, but one look from Azula told him that her reality was sinking in right at this very moment while he was still living in delusions.

"Get Oishii" Azula breathed, pivoting and charging out of the garden "He needs to alert the Chief of Security and head to the docks with men right now!"

Xx~xx~xX

She moved through the corridor nimbly, her hands fisted at her sides and lips held in an unforgiving line. The guards knew better than to greet her-for she never responded to them, but today she was generous. She gave each man a head nod as she passed, her eyes looking out for only the ones she had sensed to have a backbone-and those were the ones she beckoned to follow her.

The doors to the lounge were swung open three seconds before she arrived, and thankfully-for she wasn't about to stop and there would have been hell to pay if she had been forced to slow down. Her mother was were she expected her to be, by the slow lazy flames wobbling in the fireplace, curled on the rug with her crocheting kit-insistent on playing the role of grandmother when Pizo was thankfully not their brat.

"I am going out to the sea front, by the docks to check on something" Azula stated, pursing her lips and preparing for the true delay that would be Ursa's coddling.

"Check on what?" Ursa drawled, not looking up from her crocheting. It was a sight, the Queen lying lazily on a grand rug and her, Azula, standing aggravated and apprehensive in the middle of the room with several armoured men behind her, attentive and tensed.

"Something!" Azula snapped "I am only telling you this so you don't _nag _me about respect and all that... other... stuff"

"You have armed men with you, Zula" Ursa paused her crocheting and peered at Azula "I heard about the arrest of that poor man..."  
>"That man was a former worker of Garza!" Azula hissed.<p>

"So you abduct him and send him to Agni knows were to do heavens knows what to on the grounds that he once had a horrible boss?"  
>"It's all been taking care of. He is a free man once more" Azula growled. "You are so naïve!"<p>

"I am also Queen Mother" Ursa said sharply "Now, where is it you are taking armed men?"  
>"To the shore"<br>"For what?"  
>"A swim" Azula grumbled and before Ursa's tempter could be roused she quickly added "Zuko is supposed to be back by now..."<p>

"Zuko sent an eagle to inform that he was delayed for a day" Ursa said "What do you need soldiers for, Azula...?"  
>"Did I not tell you three days ago that there was activity in the east villages?" Azula said through gritted teeth "There was activity in the East Villages and just coincidentally one of Garza's men was on our royal lands? I need soldiers for... protection"<br>"I think you are being paranoid" Ursa breathed.

"You are being _under_ paranoid, sitting on that rug sewing blankets for little dirty..."

"Azula!" Ursa said sharply, dropping her needle and peering at Azula from the tip of her glasses. "Is this you acting out because of Qie Chang? I told you that you may like him more than you know?"  
>"Argh!" Azula moaned, but then a messenger came running into the lounge-half hopping and skipping before halting confused between Ursa and Azula-unsure on who to address. "What is it?" Azula hissed.<p>

"Lord Oishii sent me. A fire... the ships out front!" he gasped "It's the Royal Fleet... two rescue ships were sent ..." Azula cut him with a raised hand and turned to the soldier on her right.

"Take these men to Lord Oishii" she instructed. "I'll meet you there. You still want me to have a quiet night watching you knit?" Azula asked Ursa with a raised eyebrow. Her mother dropped her crocheting kit to the ground and looked to the large patio doors pointedly.

Azula charged towards the door without another word, flinging them open violently and with a slicing hissing sound, her fists were blazing balls of electric infernos. Into the night she jetted, heading for the indecipherable disaster at the sea front of the Fire Nation Royal Island.

Noting but whizzing white blue twin streams cutting through the obscurity.

Xx~xx~xX

This was not the first time his life had been in danger. It was the first time that he realised what it meant to be a Fire Lord whose life was in a constant precarious state of mortality. You don't expect hell to appear when you are in heaven, and that was were he had been on his journey; lost in his mind, in little fantasies of a utopia were he could be the person he was supposed to be under Agni... a being he had never met or known and where he could be with the only person in the world, he fell into with as much fear as he had bravery.

A place so perfect, so peaceful and protected that he could be as passionate about his love for Toph Bei Fong as he was willing, and the world would not look twice as he severed her ties to any worries, and ravished her soul with his love, fed her joy with his joy...

And it would be perfection. There wouldn't be any threat of marriages, honour and sensitive Nations... there would be nothing, nothing at all, that could fall on their heaven and send everything into the air in a blistering inferno, with one loud merciless explosion...

He was swimming desperately away from the ship, clutching the captain's hand fearsomely while commanding his limbs to ignore the ache in his muscles. He didn't dare look back down just yet, he didn't want to think about why the captain's hand was slack in his or muse over the many shadowed forms he passed on his way up to what he hoped was the ceiling of the sea...

He didn't have time to be concerned by the speeding torpedos of fire boiling their way through the waters. He could make out a distant dimming glow and realised it was another ship making its way to the bottom of the ocean. Around it, with each feeble pulse it made of light, he saw forms pulling downwards with it...

The moment he realised what it was, it came around him-the pull and tug of his vessel, calling all who had been aboard it to lay with it. He pushed vigorously against the pull, tugging the loose hand of the Captain and hoisting his strength to adjust to the weight of the inactive man. He looked back down finally, trumping his illogical fear that hell would be staring up at him from the bottom and met the pasty lightless eyes of the captain, staring at him with a detachment that could only be mastered by inanimate objects. He was hypnotised momentarily by the dead mans gaze, watching a trail of blood still drifting from the captains mouth and into the water, before he flicked his eyes to the scene bellow him.

Through the murkiness of the waters, Lord Zuko's vessel was drowning slowly, so calm in its descent to death; as though it contained the singular thought that it would at least lay itself to rest on its _own_ terms after being wrecked from the inside by the blast. Tens of crew servants and soldiers trailed in the wake of the dying ship, pale ghosts with wide unblinking eyes, escorting it to the bottom while the living thrashed desperately against its adamant pull-a few breaking through and pushing upward.

The darkness swallowed the waters once more, the glow from the ships blinking up at him before another fire torpedo sliced through the waters and brightened their darkness yet again-and this time it was too close to him, spinning him and the dead captain and throwing his understanding of up and down out of his mind. He moved violently against the many tugs of the water, before realising that he would be ended in here-stupidly-because he was holding on to a dead man.

He released the captain's hand, and watched as he drifted calmly down, his gaze seeing something other with doll like concern. He knew what had happened finally, no more theories that had cost hundreds of lives, about failing engines and malfunctions. They had been attacked, a bomb had been placed on a Fire Nation vessel-the audacity of it, and he... he was never going to submit to any ploys on for his descent.

They could sink his ships, but by Agni... he would rise!

"Fire Lord!" a yell shocked his hearing the moment his head rose from the water and behind the call were a series of cries, and the canvas to all these sounds was violent movement pushing through the air and waters. He gulped the air down hard, a pocket of it lodging in his throat and releasing in a distressed splutter. Around him, in the darkness were orange hues of fire-there were heads bobbing in the pulls of the waves and planks of wood drifting aimlessly between the bodies.

"He isn't amongst the dead!" a voice yelled followed by a war cry in the distance "Get the other two ships, shoot them now… he may be on those!"

He closed his eyes, the burning resonance of the second blast buzzing in his ears and not even the muffling of the water could save him from feeling the full capacity of its audio power. He ignored it and listened to his rage instead, the feel of heat and energy energizing his core.

The water warmed around him, vision clouded by the fizzing liquid and with one vicious release, he fired his fist and rocketed into the sky.

"I see him, I see him…!" someone was shouting bellow, a muted sound against the air being sliced by his missile form. He stopped the jets in his fists when he was several thousand feet in the air, caught in a free fall but the distance gave him freedom to survey the waters bellow him. Wood, metal scraps, dead bodies and injured soldiers littered the far off waterfront of the Fire Nation dockyard. He was falling back down at high speed and the ship with the rebels had not seen him as yet, their eyes searching the skies for fire and he had shrewdly dimmed his fists free of flames.

"You will pay!" he called to them and they whipped their heads towards him, just in time to see their fates as Lord Zuko's hands filled with zigzagging electricity sparking and crackling. It bubbled and swam through the torrent of his veins and as he crashed through the air, pulled back down to the seas by gravity, he flung it at the ship.

Wide eyes and yelps, and they all scrambled to abandon their boat, some barely escaping and a few left to roast in his fury. He was close to the water, the wind turning into moisture around his face and he sent his chi blasting into his hands with one last look at their swimming forms and jetted above the water-barely skimming the surface of sea, searching for the other rebel ships.

"Cowards!" he shouted into the night, dodging balls of fire flung up at him from boats hidden behind smoke and fire, whizzing and twisting in the air-a fearsome sight, hair wild and fire tearing through the air from his fists. "Insolent cowardly mongrels…!"

Something was not right about their attack, but he ignored it. The balls were being flung at him from a device, hard coal coated in flames that smelt repugnantly like tar and rancid fish. After a third destruction, his anger and fury barely quenched, he reached the shore with an unstable landing. He dug through wet sand, his velocity pushing his body through the ground and leaving trudges behind him before he violently twisted in the air to and corrected his position. The remaining rebels remained in the sea, either indifferent to him on the shore he thought... or deciding that an angry Fire Lord was best avoided in any ambush.

"Zuko?!"

"Azula!" he spun around and saw her standing in the shadows with a few men by her. He panicked, an odd sight with her in the middle of the arch and his fists flames up once more.

"Your soldiers" she explained quickly, slightly amused. "We came when we saw the blast from the palace. Are you injured?"  
>"Of course not!"<p>

"Okay, he is fine" she murmured, stepping out of the shadows, a commanding vision dressed in her black gear "Currently running on adrenaline but fine"  
>He gave the crowd of soldiers a brief glance and bore into the smoke filled front of the oceans; ships were burning, his own private ship had probably reached the bottom of the ocean now. They had managed to damage two of his other escorting ships and I had destroyed three of their own. He saw three other unknown massive chunks floating out at sea, breathing smoke into the air and it was easily understandable that Azula had seen to their demise.<p>

"How many of my men survived?" he asked her, pacing the shore. She followed him easily as he trudged along, a wide arch of soldiers trailing behind them. There were cries coming from the sea, men begging to be saved and others begging to be freed from their wounds.

"A few, quite a few" she said "A few ships have already been sent out to retrieve survivors"  
>"Good"<br>"Zuko?"  
>"What?!" he growled, his hands twitching and the air around my fists crackling.<p>

"What happened out there?" she asked seriously, her hand pulling on his to still his pacing. "You have just been attacked off shore of _your_ Nation?!"  
>"I have just received approval from King Kuei to work on one of the Colonies" he said quickly, boring into her flaming amber eyes-they were hard, serious and determined and it calmed him somewhat to know he had missed her "As much as the Earth Nation was unwilling to understand that, I didn't expect my Nation to be as thrilled so I can't say I am surprised by the... welcoming party"<br>"We need to leave" Azula said sombrely, releasing his hand and signalling for a soldier. "Ursa is back in the palace pulling her hair out, I am sure"  
>"Fire Princess Azula" the soldier saluted, bowing his head slightly and then standing in stiff formation before Zuko "Fire Lord Zuko"<br>"Hmm" Zuko nodded half interested, still glaring out to the sea.

"The Chief of Security is on the north side of the docks" the man said loudly. "He is awaiting orders"

"Clean the place up, the wounded need to be attended to and a few men left to stay watch here for the remainder of the day" Zuko commanded, walking away from the scene quickly "I won't have my Nation waking up to macabre on their docks"

Xx~xx~xX

X

Xx~xx~xX

I was never more pleased with the structures Uncle had left out for me, than now.

There is already a name to the incident that occurred in the early mornings of the darkness, there is already a reason to the non existent technical explosion of the engines that resulted in a chaotic accident with the rest of the other ships.

"It bothers me that this doesn't bother you" Azula said sharply, sitting on the edge of my table. She is ready to squash enemies and form a counter attack-but there are more important things than attempts on my life.

"I expected it"  
>"Then why didn't you enforce vigilance!" she hissed.<p>

Why hadn't I bothered with vigilance? I had expected it, analysed the repercussions of my going to King Kuei and practically begging him for me to help _his _Nation-I knew my people, and they were arrogant and narcissistic. They wouldn't take kindly to such things and there were factors at work that I had left undisciplined since the burning of Aang and me's statue.

"I didn't want to let paranoia ruin me" I answered her truthfully. "I don't want to be the King with the bodyguards, I don't want to be that guy again"  
>"That guy again...?"<br>"You remember, before we ended up on Ursa's Island?" I told her and she pursed her lips in comprehension.

"Oh, yes... how could I forget such fun times!" she laughed "When I had a lovely two by two room with bland robes and iron jewellery? Oh, I wouldn't remember dear Zuzu... I was locked up under ground going _insane_"  
>"Erm, well, there was a poison incident and I let paranoia chase me into isolation" I said "I let it drive me into recklessness"<p>

"It doesn't take much to send you of the rail, Zuzu. Sorry to burst your bubble" she stood up and paced the front of my table, stopping to look at a giant portrait of a golden dragon on the east wall.

"The newsletter has already been sent out, about the malfunctioning..." I began but the door to my office burst open and Ursa charged inside, eyes narrowed and hand holding said newsletter. She stopped right in front of my desk and slammed the paper on my desk before leaning on the table, eyes hard and lips firm...

"You are angry?" I asked softly and she smiled cruelly.

"So, there wasn't an attempt on your life?" she asked carefully, her voice a contradiction to the anger radiating off of her. "Your engine room did not house a bomb, a series of ruffians did not bomb your fleet and there wasn't a search for you at sea to kill you?"

"Erm, well yes there was..."  
>"Good, that explains everything!" she sighed in exaggerated relief "So that means that you need to fire your secretary"<p>

"Fire my... secretary?" I watched her anxiously, looking to Azula for some form of understanding on the surreal scene in front of me but all she offered was an entertained grin.

"Obviously he has made a series of spelling errors..." Ursa said "And grammatical errors..."

"Heck, errors with the whole truth!" Azula laughed.

"He was misinformed" Ursa said dangerously softly, ignoring Azula "Because there is no way, you would purposefully send out _lies _to your people when it concerns the very health and well being of their Lord"

"You know I sent that out" I said calmly and Ursa's anger pushed forward with the confirmation. "This is what those rebels want, Mother" I said carefully, but she was shivering in rage "They want to tarnish my image..."  
>"They want to kill you!" Ursa hissed.<p>

"You know, she is right" Azula said "They want to kill you"  
>"I know they want to kill me!" I snapped "I am handling it"<br>"No, you are taking it lightly!" Ursa roared.

"From this point on, and in the future..." I said carefully, looking at both women in their odd arrangement of anger and amusement "If you stand in here, in my office... you will think of me as _Fire Lord._ I think we are confused about a few facts here... one primary one is your lack of confidence in me as Fire Lord and insistence to play me as child and playmate!"

They were silent then, Ursa in a whirl wind of outrage and Azula dangerously contemplative.

"You may leave" I said softly.

"Yes, Fire Lord..." Ursa said stiffly, and she held her hand out for Azula and they left together.

I didn't take this as a sign of acceptance, but with Azula's last glance at me and the lack of anger or irritation in her eyes but a wicked challenging gleam... I knew it was a strategic retreat, and I had another opponent to worry about besides the faceless rebellion against my peace.


	39. Unexpected Meddling

**The problem with mothers...**

Of course I had known that neither Azula nor my mother would have taken my dismissal of them from my affairs lying down. I had unfortunately, underestimated Ursa's anger... you don't expect such a soft being to contain such vehemence, or maybe I had forgotten about her quiet forcefulness... She had lived alone on an island and survived it, heavens... she had survived Ozai...! She knew how to adapt to her environment and more importantly, she knew how to adapt the environment for her self.

"Zuko" she said softly, shaking her head slightly in disappointment, a stark difference to her behaviour three days ago, when she had tried to break my table with her small hand. "The implications of your attack, they cannot be taken lightly"

"They are not being taken lightly, mother" I said "Because as far as the public knows, an unfortunate technical blunder occurred. There is no need to take the situation any more intensely than that, mother. At least not publicly"

"So you are working on it behind the scenes?" Azula asked and I sighed.

"I am keeping a strong guard on the docks and the police are monitoring the unrest in the villages"  
>"Didn't I tell you that Zuko was incapable of covert affairs" Azula laughed to Ursa, who only maintained her controlled form-determined not to delve into the personality of a protective mother once more.<p>

"I don't see why this is concerning you, Zula" I said to Azula and she laughed again.

"Zuzu" she mused "You are my brother, your well being concerns me... but I am smart enough to let Ursa do the first bit of work..." a knock came from the door of the lounge and Azula smiled ruefully at me "And I believe the first bit of Ursa's work has just arrived"

The servant boy opened the door slowly, sliding through the narrow opening he allowed himself before walking quickly to us. He bowed; hands held behind his back and looked up at me.

"Lord Zuko... the Avatar has arrived" he said softly and I failed to hide my grimace. "They are in the court yard with the... beast"  
>"By beast do you mean flying bison?" Azula asked and he nodded. "Oh Agni, fleas will be harassing my komodo-stallion"<p>

"You sent for Aang?" I asked Ursa and she tried to hide her satisfied smile, into something neutral "Seriously, you called the Avatar to do what? Show how I can't manage a little insurgence on my own Nation!?"  
>"Zuko, you need to stop viewing it as that!" she hissed "This is not a rebellion, it's an attempt on your life!"<br>"I have had numerous attempt on my life, Ursa" I snapped, rising up fluidly "And look were I am; in the world of the living!"

"Oh, for now...!" she cried rising up to her full height, still too short and female to be anything other than my mother scolding me.

"Mother, this is political... not personal!" I whispered desperately but she refused to bend to that view point "And that's were your meddling differs from Azula's. As much as this is about my life being at risk, it's about the nation being at risk too! You are choosing one over the other and not considering both!"

She blanched, her eyes staring at my face in rage "Well, excuse me for being a mother!"  
>"I do" I sighed, leaving her and Azula in the comforts of the lounge "I do excuse you, you are a mother"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Zuko!" Aang laughed, taking two quick steps away from Katara the moment he saw me. He rushed at me; his arms open and face gleaming with joy. "My friend, so good to see you... alive"

"Yes" I allowed him to hug me, patting him swiftly on the back and smiling at Katara. She laughed, pulling me from Aang and hugging me too tightly before pushing me back and surveying me, as though I should be sporting battle scars or at least a missing limb.

"He looks... as surly as ever?!" she looked at Aang and he laughed.

"What's with the clean shave?" Aang demanded and I realised I was incapable of carrying out my anger at his presence due to the recent occurrences. I smiled unexpectedly at him and patted him on the shoulder once more.

"What's with the beard Avatar?" I laughed and Katara tutted at him, giving him a reproachful look filled with love.

"You know" she sighed "He was really hoping you two would be twins, with beards"  
>"Maybe he needs to start by ditching the long robes" I chuckled.<p>

"Hey, your robe..." Aang began and I stopped him with a raised finger.

"This isn't a robe, my friend... it's a cloak" I corrected "And you know you can grow your hair once more? No one is under the allusion you are fully devoted monk with Katara on your arm"

"Oh, yes..." Aang murmured looking over at Katara timidly before giving me an indicative look "I am glad Katara and I arrived early, I would like to talk to you about a small matter..."  
>"Of course you do" I sighed and Katara laughed again, I realised she seemed happier than I had ever seen her.<p>

"I am going to go and see Ursa" she waved us goodbye "And if you two do train, please Aang... don't return smelling of smoke"  
>"Hey, Zuko would be the one smelling of smoke..." Aang sulked "My Fire Bending packs a punch!"<br>"Is this you telling me you will be going to the spirit realm to pack this punch?" I chuckled, leading us away from the foyer and into the garden.

"You know I can hold my own" Aang sighed "Enough of that, what I want to talk about is..."  
>"The explosion of the ships?" I sighed wearily.<p>

"Details before the explosion and then the ones of the future" Aang said, frowning slightly "Bombing an entire Fire Nation navy to get to you... that didn't make sense... you are a Master Fire Bender, what's a little bomb to you! What were they hoping for? That you wouldn't be able to swim...?"

Xx~xx~xX

"Zuko, this entire thing is implicating the Earth Nation, whether or not you send out news that it was a mechanical problem with the ships" Aang said, shaking his head "I mean six ships? Six ships Zuko! All having some form of malfunction after you _left _the Earth Nation, where it is widely known that you and Takeshi had a misunderstanding...? It was better for you to come out with the truth, my friend!"  
>"You are still on his side!" I tried to make my voice detached but the resentment leaked in regardless and doused Aang into sombreness.<p>

"There are no sides, Zuko..." he said softly "There are facts"  
>"I couldn't agree more" Azula sauntered out of the trees. "Avatar"<br>"Fire Princess" Aang greeted her with a small bow.

"This is private, Azula" I said.

"I know" she stopped between Aang and I looked at us both "I think it's safe to speak... privately"

"Zuko...?" Aang raised an eyebrow and I sighed, motioning for him not to mind her presence, this was as polite as she would be; letting us know she was listening in. She could have remained hidden, and that seemed entirely worse.

"What Aang is trying to tell you, dear brother, in case you missed it" she said "Is that your little lie about the ships has had a ripple effect across the world and now the Earth Nation is in the firing line as they hosted you and looked after your ships"

"I don't think it's the Earth Nation" Aang said.

"Of course not!" Azula laughed before sighing "You really have to take a crash course in Fire Nation Politics, Avatar. This had nothing to do with the Earth Nation, although it seems that way to the rest of the world"  
>"Then..." Aang frowned.<p>

"Oh, this is all about us" Azula murmured, crossing her arms over her chest. "The problem is in our backyard, isn't it Zuko?"  
>"Are you taking care of it?" Aang asked.<p>

"I am trying...!" I sighed "I am working on it, okay, matters of treachery are a long process of delving and finding and retrieving"

"In other words, this was a matter from long ago that Zuko has failed to take seriously and now it has snowballed into something humongous and monstrous" Azula smiled. "Do you know that there is a whole underground cult that is anti-Nobles in the east village?"  
>"What?" I stared at her and she smiled satisfied.<p>

"And there is another elitist sect brewing that is the opposite of the anti-Nobles" she said "Basically, there are wars within your Nation that do not evolve around you but when they bubble over... they will all want your head Zuko"  
>"How do you know this stuff!" I yelped.<p>

"I surround myself with rats, you would be amazed at the things they squeak" she said bored.

"Your sister is kind of scary" Aang whispered. "I mean, I know you know... but, yeah... scary"

"Do you want my suggestion?" Azula asked ignoring Aang.

"Whether I want it or not..." I began and she cut me quickly.

"Yeah, I don't give a damn" she breathed "Okay, this is what you will do Zuko. You need to put a curfew on the island first... and then allow it to work its way into the minds of the commoners before spreading it into the Fire Nation villages and cities..."

"A curfew?" I guffawed "As much as your skills never cease to impress me... a curfew Zula? I am leading a Nation, not running a jail"

"Have it your way" she sighed "It's the best way to monitor the movements of all this treacherous dirty regular... people... and better weasel the _undesirables _out"  
>"Still scary even when she is on the good side" Aang muttered before shaking his head lightly and looking at me sternly "No curfew"<br>"No curfew" I agreed and Azula frowned at Aang.

"I wanted to talk to you about something serious..." Aang began and Azula snorted.

"What can be more serious than my brother's life being in danger by unknown forces?" she asked.

"This is the part were you leave us, Azula" I sighed and she glared at me, before flicking her hair in Aang's face and gliding through the garden and back to the house. "She is trying..." I sighed.

"That was her trying?" Aang laughed "I am surprised you allowed her in that bit of detail; I thought you would want it handled quietly, or with Iroh"

"You mean you are surprised I allow Azula her opinion and listen to it to a degree in comparison to Ursa?" I corrected and he smiled a little. "Well, Azula... she is ruthless, but she sees things in a way that no other person can. She can see loose ends, the dangerous ones that could unravel an entire garment. Azula is shrewd and her paranoia would balance out Ursa's new found naivety brought about from Ozai not being in the picture. Azula hasn't forgotten while Ursa has become contented, trying to play mother to everyone."

"She _is_ a mother" Aang explained.

"And I am a grown man" I snapped. "And a Fire Lord. There are things and responsibilities that I have that I find to sometimes..."  
>"Put your life second to all others?" he asked and I nodded.<p>

"There was a man, on the ship-the captain... he insisted I leave him, even though he was not a Fire Bender and the heat and flames were charging through the ship. They all were insisting I move up, move out... the men... I stayed; I helped them and controlled the flames Aang. I saved so many lives, and not once did I consider the fact that I may not be able to save my own..."

"And even after the water became the foremost threat, I completely destroyed the fire and heat in the end" I sighed "I couldn't save him. He was dead in my attempts because in the end, because for a split second and that was all it took, I worried about my own safety"

"Zuko..."  
>"I can't be worrying about my own life, if I want to save others" I sighed. "It's contradictory, being selfless while holding on to a fragment of selfishness"<p>

"So let others worry about that for you" Aang said "Let Ursa worry and Azula... I still don't think Azula is worried"  
>"She is worried, in her way" I chuckled.<p>

"I know the timing is wrong, but I need to ask you for a very important favour" Aang said softly, holding my shoulder "Would you be my best man?"

"Favour...!" I laughed, flinging his hand of my shoulder and attacking him for the first time in our friendship, into a hug "It would be an _honour_... Avatar Aang!"

"Cut the Avatar" he mumbled into my shoulder, patting me hard on the back "Fire Lord Zuko, my brother..."

Xx~xx~xX

It was too much to ask of Ursa to limit her worry to calling on the physical representation of the world, the very Avatar, as some form of body guard for me.

"I am as upset about this as you are" Azula droned, her feet crossed and placed on my table in an obvious sign of indifference to my request she _not_ be in my office "I don't know why she thought Iroh would be of any use to the present situation. What are they both going to do, eh? Knit scarves and brew tea for the radicals?"  
>"You should give Iroh more respect Azula" I sighed.<p>

"Wait till you see what souvenir he brought you from the Earth Nation" she chuckled.

"What, a tea cup?" I asked and she shook her head, her eyes swimming with excitement. "I know... a tea kettle. I broke the last one..."  
>"I guess you are sort of correct" Azula sighed, getting up and stretching lightly "I mean, it is something that you can brew all sorts of concoctions with... anyway, I better go and help her unpack"<br>"It's nice that you and Katara are getting along" I smiled at her.

"Why?" she asked confused. "What, did she say something to you?"  
>"You know, you are going to go and help her unpack..."<p>

"Who?"

"Katara" I frowned at Azula and her silly game.

"Oh, you think I would bother with her Frosty..." she paused and then smiled at me gently "I'll leave you to your current state of bliss, brother. I shall see you dinner time?"  
>"Dinner time" I agreed.<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"Have you seen... uh, Iroh?" Aang asked, he was trying to rush my leisurely pace up the corridor, walking a step ahead and twisting his body to talk to me. I didn't budge in his attempts, enjoying the paintings Ursa had hung along the grand passage and the little ornaments littered over the walls and various stations-my Nation's cultural treasures.

"No" I breathed "I will see him now, at dinner. He didn't request a meeting so he obviously did not buy into Ursa's panic"

"Zuko, it is understandable that she should panic" Aang sighed.

"Not the whole 'she-is-your-mother' thing again" I groaned. "I don't want to go through the whole 'I-am-Fire-Lord' thing again, you see"  
>"Well, maybe if you did attempt to put some measures around you..." Aang began.<p>

"You think someone is going to try something on a Grand Master Fire Bender's life, while he is walking with the Avatar... in his own palace filled with guards, with a Grand Master Water Bender, a Dragon General..."  
>"And the icing on the cake, Azula" Aang laughed.<p>

"I deliberately left her out" I chuckled "Otherwise there would be no point in mentioning any one else!"  
>"Oh, come now..." Aang said half serious "I am sure I can take her down... and before you say it, my eyes wont be glowing"<p>

"I don't have any doubts that you couldn't" I said "I just hope there would be a Fire Nation left afterwards you two are done duelling on my training ground"

"So you agree she is much more skilled than you are?"  
>"I agree that she is much crazier than anyone is... the spiritually gifted or otherwise!"<p>

"Why are you walking so slow...!" Aang groaned suddenly "I want to get this over and done with!"  
>"As much as I look forward to you announcing me as your best man and all..." I sighed "I am Fire Lord and the dinner doesn't start before I arrive, so stop rushing me!"<br>"You have never looked more like Ozai than now" he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"What is your problem!" I laughed "Why the rush...! Ursa is in no mood for me, Azula is... friends with Katara and that is craziness on its own... and we are eating from a private kitchen, not behind Appa in some pathetic jungle. The food isn't going anywhere, Sokka isn't here!"

"Zuko, the suspense..." Aang whined, skipping forward using air bending so he landed an exaggerated few feet ahead.

"What is your problem!" I growled, charging forward and past him and opening the doors before the guards could. "It's a dinner Aang, not a trial...!"

"Did I tell you Toph was coming with Iroh, to deal with the bombings?" he whispered but it was too late, they were all seated on the table staring at me while Toph Bei Fong held her cheek wearily, scowling at her plate and Azula sat straight and still with a knowing smile on her face.

"No need" I said, my insides snaking and voice shaking slightly "I think I see her, and I think Katara will be a widow before she is married"

Xx~xx~xX

"Nephew Zuko" Iroh droned, swirling his tea and looking at me with an amused expression "So nice of you to join us for dinner... finally, I was _starving_. I was having an interesting conversation with Niece Azula about the dangers of confusing the arra tea leaves with the poisonous ginari leaves"

"And in a separate topic" Azula said "Have you drawn out your will, Uncle?"  
>"Azula!" Ursa snapped and Iroh laughed.<p>

"No worry, Ursa..."Iroh sighed, peeking into his cup but not taking another sip "It's her way of showing me she cares" he pushed the cup to the side and poured himself wine, toasting Azula who raised her own glass to him. "Is wine safer?"  
>"Sure" Azula smiled sweetly "As long as you keep an eye on it"<p>

"As long as you don't keep an eye on it too, eh?" Iroh smiled and Azula laughed, a dry fake whipping sound.

"Toph" I said and she raised her head, half turning it in my direction.

"Zuko" she greeted. "I apologise for coming unannounced..."

"What, no!" I shouted, startling Ursa with the energy in my voice "You are a dear friend, you can come... any time"  
>"That wasn't awkward at all..." Azula murmured.<p>

"I see you managed to avoid any covenants or meditation courses" Toph murmured lazily, reaching for her glass carefully, her fingers feeling the glass before winding around the crystal, the colour of her skin against the satin of the wine drawing my eye hypnotically. "I am here on work, Fire Lord Zuko..."

"Work?" I asked, looking at Aang who was in turn looking at an oddly silent Katara.

"Iroh?" Toph asked and Iroh picked his wine glass up swiftly, taking a long slow drink... the wine finishing while Toph waited for some response from him and even after the glass was empty... Iroh kept the glass firmly on his lips.

"Your drink is finished, Uncle" I sighed. He took the glass away from his mouth slowly and said, rather sheepishly "I was inhaling the fumes"

"Well?" I asked. "Toph is here on work... with you?"  
>"The whole... bombing business" Iroh said, not adding anything after that and busying himself with his food.<p>

"I am the Chief of Security and Police, for the Earth Nation" she said.

"The whole... Nation?" I asked dumbly and Toph frowned.

"No, half" she said and after a beat, she added "That was sarcasm"

"What happened? Did Zuko and Toph have a falling out?" Katara asked innocently and the dinner table filled with sudden coughs and loud clattering of knives, forks and somehow Iroh managed to make an odd noise with his chopsticks.

"I am here, because of the bombing of your ships, an unfortunate event it was" Toph said technically, shaking her head "But here I am, because of that... only"

"Right" I breathed.

"You are not here for my wedding?" Katara asked softly.

"Oh, yes... but your wedding is in the Southern Tribe?" Toph said innocently "You know, past tons of water... and ice... no Earth. You are so considerate with your location, Katara"  
>"Hey, it's <em>my<em> wedding!" Katara frowned. "And anyway, I will be very humble on yours with Takeshi... with all the mud you will surely provide..."

"Hmm" Toph busied herself with her food then and I met Azula's gleaming eyes before looking back at the main meal before me.

"Do you think the rebels are from the Earth Nation, Toph" Ursa asked.

"We are currently unsure, the situation is broader than we initially anticipated" Toph said "Zuko's attack, and those casualties... that put the problem on an international scale. King Kuei and the cabinet are alarmed principally with the developments in Ba Sing Se being affected by spikes in violence and crime"

"What better way to curb that than to appoint the greatest Earth Bender as Chief" I said, shocking myself when my voice came out drier-almost a growl.

"You think it was a bad choice?" Toph asked severely softly.

"I think King Kuei and _Takeshi..." _I was certain my face was puckered as I moved over his name but that was nothing to be helped "... they only had the one candidate that they could ever _want_ appoint"

"Because there can be only one Great Earth Bender!" Toph snarled. "I worked to get to the place I am in, for the position and for the title-I deserve it"  
>"And it is an impressive title" I murmured, cutting my steak roughly "Grand Master Chief Officer <em>Princess <em>Lady Bei Fong"

"Is there something you want to say to me?" Toph growled.

"In fact, is there something you two want to say to all of us because this is just... strange!" Katara cried and Toph and I removed our selves from our apocalyptic squabble, the room filled with loud chewing, plates groaning under knives and forks and Iroh hacking and coughing after sipping his tea.

"It's safe" he announced through the silence "I mean, it's tasty. My tea is tasty"

"Err, yes" Ursa giggled nervously and with a tentative look at a scowling chewing Toph, she asked "Err, Toph... do you have more information on the... situation with Fire Lord Zuko's ships?"  
>"I would think Fire Lord Zuko and his well appointed cabinet and all their deserved titles would be all over that" she said.<p>

"And we are" I growled, glaring at her uselessly and ignoring Aang's little plea's for me to drop it and Katara's concerned gaze. I wasn't even sure why I was upset; was her being here, a reminder that heaven was unachievable? Was her being here, a realisation that Takeshi would always be victorious?

I still had the image of her in my shirt, leaning lazily by the side of her house with those beautiful fire lilies rising to the sun at the side of her house. I still had Takeshi's innocent gaze imploring the world to believe I was a reckless drunk...

"There is activity in our Nation, mother" I said "The situation has nothing to do with the Earth Nation"

"You have no proof that the unrest in your Nation is brought about as a direct threat to you!" Toph said "It may just be a result of your Nation's current economic status"  
>"What are you trying to say!" I growled and she smiled.<p>

"Only that you are in a little bit of a recession" she smiled. "People tend to get angsty when job's are few and tummies are hungry... it's a time when people fight over big things and little things with equal violence"

"You have been Chief of Security for what, two weeks?" I asked derisively and she tutted.

"That would be Chief of Security and Police Grand Master Princess Lady Bei Fong" she said, sipping her wine.

"I think you are getting ahead of yourself" I downed my wine and ignored Aang and Katara's silent conversation beside me "The wedding hasn't happened yet"  
>"But unlike some... it <em>will<em> happen" she murmured "Without sudden confessions of random pregnancies"  
>"Really, there is still plenty of time for us to get you pregn..." I began and Aang yelled over my voice "How is Mai and Pizo?"<br>"Oh, they are terribly fine" Ursa said in exaggerated joy "Kuya made a short visit to Mai, if I understand. I think we are making progress on that. Zuko... you promised him Fire Bending lessons?"  
>"It seems I will be busy, unfortunately..." I said "Making sure my deservingly titled officers are doing a good job in <em>my <em>Nation"

"Difficult to a do a good job, when you don't know what the work is" Toph murmured and Katara coughed indicatively to Aang.

"Maybe we can hold a meeting, Iroh?" Aang asked.

"Yes, yes..."Iroh said quickly "This dinner topic is rather thick"  
>"What's thick is the sexual tension here" Azula snorted and Katara's eyes widened in confusion.<p>

"About the work I have cut out..." I began, ignoring them all.

"It isn't your work, seeing as how this isn't a Fire Nation problem... although it may have been directed at you"  
>"Oh, it was directed at me but it is not my problem?" I asked "Are you saying your people are responsible?"<p>

"I am saying, Ba Sing Sei is responsible" Toph said.

"Oh, Toph... you are mistaken" Azula sighed "I have uncovered intelligence on a sect, an anti-noble sect operating in the villages and seeping into the cities of the Fire Nation"  
>"That's only a small scale" Toph stated. "The Fire Nation Technology project has brought in so much benefit, surprisingly... and with it various people from different nations. Anyway, this sect you are talking about... the whole anti-noble group, well... it's there in Ba Sing Se and it's a global group. It is highly organised, and it may be that they were trying to make a statement that went wrong with regards to Zuko's fleet..."<p>

"No, they were definitely from my Nation" I deadpanned "And therefore, they were Fire Nation citizens! This investigation will be under the Fire Nation police... whatever information you have, Toph, you can hand over to my Chief of Security"

"Since you want this to be treason in your Nation so badly" Toph growls "then your Chief of Security can go and look for information on his own, and not be fed it by _Princesses!_"

"How about..." Iroh sighed "We concentrate on the on coming wedding and leave all worries to us old folk"  
>"I agree with Iroh" Ursa said "Katara, you were telling me about the party you and Aang wanted to host...?"<p>

"Well, I am glad everyone is here" Katara breathed "Aang and I would love it if you were to attend our engagement ceremony in the Northern Tribe"  
>"I knew there wouldn't be any Earth, either way" Toph grumbled, and Katara frowned at her.<p>

"Most of my family is going there" Katara began and Azula sighed.

"That means the whole Southern Tribe?" Azula asked.  
>"Well, most... I suppose... yes" Katara sighed. "Anyway, I know it is bad timing Zuko... but with you being Aang's best man..."<p>

"Sokka is not going to appreciate that" Toph snorted.

"And Suki..." Katara continued.

"I heard they broke up" Iroh nudged me "You should talk to her at the ceremony, Zuko. She's pretty"

"... I would have chosen you, Toph but you are always busy" Katara said, and I frowned irritated at Iroh after missing most of Katara's odd speech.

"No problem" Toph said nonplussed "I wouldn't be much help, with you placing me on thin ice and all"

"And the wedding?" Ursa asked "Will it be in the Northern Tribe?"  
>"We are undecided" Aang smiled at Katara. "But one thing is for certain, it would fill us with joy if all our friends and family were to attend and be joyous with us"<p>

"Of course" I breathed, smiling at Aang who only cast me a dubious look. "So, any... dignitaries?"

"No, King Kuei will not be attending Zuko" Aang said irritated now "Or Takeshi. This is a very private and personal affair... now, will you and Toph be _behaving?_"  
>"Oh, bummer" Azula sighed. "Now it's definitely going to be a bore"<p>

"Oh, you are coming Azula?" Katara asked nervously.

"I better be coming" Azula smiled sweetly "I do owe you a present for messing with my brain fluid..."

"You obviously made that torrent run backwards, Katara" Iroh murmured "I don't know if that was intentional, because there doesn't seem to be any improvement..."

**...Is they meddle.**

**AUHTORS NOTE:**

**Do you think the engagement ceremony will be a bore? Thank you all for the reviews, favourites and alerts! **


	40. The Unwelcoming Party

**THE UNWELCOMING PARTY**

**Xx~xx~xX**

Too much of my time, at the most crucial age of development, had been spent _trying _to be Ozai and then trying _not to be _Ozai. And the same thing went for my mother; I had been told she was treacherous and then I had tried not to be her, and after that came out to be a lie... I wanted to have her goodness in me.

They had decided to have their engagement celebration in the Northern Water Tribe, the wedding in itself had been postponed-but that did not dampen Katara or Aang's joy. They were soul mates, true soul mates that had no objection from the world in their love.

But in them, I realised, as close as I was... with Aang and the vagueness of Katara and my self's establishment as old comrades-I was always thinking of this dilemma. Trying not to be Ozai, trying to be Ursa...

My relationship to Aang was development through this estrangement I had in Ozai and Ursa, Katara too and subsequently Sokka. It terrified me; it shook my core with fear and misery to know that the only time and the only person in this world who was not affected by my actual estrangement from my own self... was Toph Bei Fong. Nothing about my past, could ever affect our friendship and yet here, on this elegant ship with the ice lands of the Northern Tribe awaiting our arrival...

I realised that everything about our future affect my love for her. They say the past fuels the future, but in this... the past of the world and not my own life, fuelled our future. Nothing about this was fair, nothing about this was true to us... but it made sense, it was Agni's price for the sins of my Nation.

I would stand alone, and hold the Fire Nation up. I would stand alone, and brave every ploy and attempt on my life. I would stand alone.

"Here again" Katara murmured, her dark hand gripping the white rail, her thick hair blowing wildly around her face. She stood still, staring out to the dark shadows and blinking lights of the Northern Water Tribe harbour... her expression wistful and slightly anxious. "The last time you came..."  
>"Let's not talk about that 'Old Me'" I whispered, touching her cool hand briefly.<p>

"Maybe that's the problem?" she turned her head slightly, her blue eyes filled with gentle emotions that I had never noticed she carried-that I had never recalled seeing directed at me save for that one point so long ago... when I had betrayed her. I was grateful, for second chances and I thought with slight conviction that I could handle Agni's demand of me to be alone if I had such a friend as her... with her reckless sympathy for the people she cared for. "You haven't come to terms with it, all your past sins?"  
>"You still want me to apologise, even today?" I asked and her eyes widened.<p>

"No, I didn't mean... with that" she turned her head away again, staring at her approaching 'welcome committee'. I supposed Aang was preparing himself as he 'Avatar', Azula would be asleep or dealing with nerves for being in yet another Nation that resented her and Toph Bei Fong had been sea and Zuko sick the whole journey... avoiding me, or maybe I was paranoid. "I mean, it's more like you are still apologising to your self... and even today, you haven't forgiven yourself?"

"You and I have never been one for heart to hearts, that isn't our relationship" I sighed.

"And yet you and I have had heart to hearts before?" she smiled. "I admit, I can let my emotions carry me away and you can let your temper..."  
>"Let's not talk about my temper, I know all about it" I snapped.<p>

"Okay fine" she sighed again, shaking her head. "I want you to enjoy this, Zuko. Really, I do... especially Aang. You two are brothers, as I am sure you are well aware of?"

"I am. I am going to enjoy it" I said stiffly. "If you can understand, I am a little apprehensive about leaving my Mother and Iroh in a place were no Royal Blood is safe, in the Fire Nation"

"Ursa can take care of herself" Katara said strongly.

"Suppose she can" I sighed "Suppose Iroh can. Suppose the world is saved and at peace. Let's all just... 'Suppose' and see were that takes us, eh?"  
>"Zuko" she grabbed my hand and let it go almost immediately when I curled the fingers into a fist and sent a shock of heat trough her palm. "Zuko" she said softer "I just noticed... you aren't really talking to Aang about... anything, well... the important things"<br>"I have spoken to him about the bombings, we have discussed the issue of the little rebel groups littered in different colonies and of course, about Ba Sing Sei"  
>"I meant the important things" Katara murmured "Your happiness"<p>

I remained silent, a thousand emotions working through me at her statement. My happiness... had it ever been a priority to anyone before, to even myself? I found her question strange, almost too personal and intimate... I felt, violated by it in fact. My happiness was something so enchanting and concealed and veiled that not even I knew about it... did she think that it would just reveal itself for her, the Water Bender who was bipolar when it came to her affection for me?

"I can't remember ever seeing you happy" she continued, oblivious to my tension. "Not when you were crowned Fire Lord in fact... I think you were, apprehensive and overwhelmed. Not... joyous"  
>"I didn't want to be Fire Lord" I said "I wanted Iroh to do it"<p>

"But were you not honoured?"  
>"I was honoured, of course!" I said with too much verve-Katara was not used to my sudden spikes in energy-and she backed away, slightly terrified. "I mean, I was honoured" I said softly, raising my hand as if to calm her "I just... didn't think they wanted me. I was... shocked when... they cheered"<br>"You still don't think they want you?" she asked gently "You still doubt them"  
>"No, its not that" I said, thinking of Mi and Qie Chang, even Oishii and all the Fire Nationals who had assisted me in foiling Garza's attempt on my life. "There are there, those who... think me worthy, but it's a select few. Everyone else, keeps looking out for Ozai... praying he makes an appearance in me"<br>"Do you fear that?"  
>"Of course I fear it!" I said "Do you know how it felt, after the bombing and I was so paranoid and I had guards and I... I was cruel to you, Katara? I felt possessed by Ozai himself!"<br>"But you overcame" she said. "You meditated like Aang told you to..."  
>"I had Toph" I said bluntly. It all fell back to that now, with Toph... I didn't need to wonder about whether I was being more Ozai or more Ursa with her. I thought that maybe, Toph was the only person who knew who Zuko really was... not even I knew who I was. I noticed the light dancing in Katara's eyes at the mention of 'Toph' and smiled.<p>

This had all been a round about way for her to find out a secret she was not privy to.

"So, your friendship with Toph suffered... when she... got engaged and now you don't have Toph?" she pointed up into the air as if aligning invisible dots. "And so you are lost again, in between Ozai and... yourself"  
>"And Ursa" I corrected her absently, fascinated by her deduction skills and maternal instincts... as though I were her child and not towering over her a grown man.<p>

"Hmm" she said nodding her head. "I think you are too aware of yourself"  
>"I think I am" I said "Because I am never myself"<br>"Maybe you are just surly, maybe you need to accept it"  
>"Or maybe, I am supposed to be light headed tattooed boy?"<p>

"You would be the worst Avatar in the world" she laughed "Imagine you, sent to deliver the world from evil?"  
>"I think I would do a good job" I said. "I wouldn't be side tracked by Water Benders and their 'sparkling eyes'"<br>"Sparkling Eyes?" she frowned.

"Aang, he thinks your eyes sparkle" I said off handed

"He... thinks..." she said airily before grinning out to the port, people were easily discernible now "I love that boy, so much"

"He loves you too" I said smiling with her "Only you"

It had to be the most fulfilling emotion, knowing that the one you had laid your heart bare and vulnerable to, would always be yours with no questions and doubts. I was jealous, in that moment, of Aang.

He had persevered; his love had never swayed or altered, only increased and he could allow it to grow as freely and abundantly as he wanted because he believed there was a purpose to its existence.

My own love, my own emotions... they had to be squashed and bullied, set on fire and burnt to ashes before they could ruin me-because I now believed that was their only purpose for existing. A challenge from Agni himself, to prove my worth-did I want the honour... or did I want my own personal gain. Could I sacrifice it all, for the honour...

Could I?

Like I had a choice, no happiness could ever be taken without leaving sorrow in its place.

"I smell..." Toph mumbled, shuffling forward from inside, draped in a blanket and clutching Azula's arm "No, not earth... just fish. I will never do any dignitary works with the Water Nation"  
>"That wouldn't be a good political move, Toph" Azula whispered, her own face pale and eyes terrified. Maybe she was back tracking her insistence to attend the party, maybe she decided that solitude on the Fire Nation Royal Island was more welcome than to be surrounded by people who hated you...<p>

Appa bellowed from above us and Katara sighed, smiling briefly at me before waving in the air-to Aang, who was flying ahead on the bison... to play his role as the Avatar first most, before anything else.

Xx~xx~xX

The news that Ba Sing Sei was pulling out of the project due to the rebel groups began to way over my every step and smile. My world, my purpose... was crumbling. I couldn't survive it... the only way I could make things move as I wished, was to push and force my way into the colonies and give them back to the people... vehemently, whether they understood my vision or not. Like... Ozai would do...t.

"Zuko?" Aang called, gripping my shoulder firmly.

"Huh?"  
>"I am introducing you to the Chief?" he pointed at a morose looking matured man, equal to my height with narrowed blue eyes that were failing to remain impartial to his obvious dislike of me around his rigid expression.<p>

"Fire Lord" the Chief said stiffly, sticking his hand out with difficulty. I was too shocked after being called back from my mind were the world was against me yet again and arriving to awareness to realise that imagination and reality were of the same opinion. I took his hand silently, my eyes wide and bewildered on his face and he gripped it too tightly, sending a dull ache through it. "Good to see you again"  
>"Again?"<br>"The last time I spotted you, a Fire Nation general killed our sacred spirit" he smiled disdainfully, failing to hold back a snort of contempt "I hope this visit will be different?"  
>"He promises not to fry any fish" Sokka appeared from somewhere, staggering and holding a bottle that I immediately concluded to be wine "And... no woman I love... will sacrifice her soul... in the process!"<p>

"Oh, no... Sokka" Aang looked around the large cold foyer of ice and spotted Katara talking to some other dignitary enthusiastically. It was as though she felt his gaze, stopping mid sentence and finding Aang's eyes before following them to her drunken brother and shaking her head. She excused herself and rushed over to us, touching Sokka's shoulder and steering him away.

"Brilliant mind, that man and a great warrior" the Chief said in the same stiffness. "I would have been honoured had he married my daughter"

"Oh, he didn't end up marrying her?" I asked softly, conversationally and Aang coughed lightly, whispering quickly to me.

"She sacrificed her life to restore balance after the spirit was killed" Aang said rapidly and a look of satisfaction fell over the Chief's face in direct correspondence to my mortification.

"I look forward to more conversations, young Fire Lord Zuko... and I hope you find the Water Nation most hospitable" the Chief laughed gleefully.  
>"It's like I never left the Fire Nation" I replied hoarsely, watching him glide off with a series of unnamed servants following him, one of them looking back at me with a deeply etched look of deliberate reproach. "I might as well be home, at this rate"<p>

Xx~xx~xX

"They hate us" Azula whispered "But they fear us too" she said this with satisfaction, as though it were a compliment to her.

"Where is Toph?" I asked her and she shrugged.

"Maybe she has gone to look for some earth" she said indifferently, scanning the throng of people mingling and laughing, greeting each other and avoiding any golden eyed pale being. The escort of Fire Nation dignitaries were huddled far off, muttering to themselves and frowning at the food served. Azula and I were silently getting drunk... alone (Azula insisted on body guards and I didn't blame her) while Aang and Katara were showered with praise and support on their auspicious announcement and celebrations.

I could only imagine the reaction that would come when Katara would speak of how the Fire Nation wanted to host her wedding and that she had agreed.

"Zuko!" Ty Lee skipped over to me-pushing her way through a circle of people rudely, her dress flaring in the air and hair bouncing. She flung herself into my arms and kissed my cheek enthusiastically before noticing Azula fully and taking a shocked step back.

"Azula!" she said rudely.

"You look like you have seen a ghost" Azula drawled lazily, never looking at Ty Lee and drinking her wine faster and less elegantly before handing it to a man passing us-who was not a waiter.

"I wasn't aware you would... come" Ty Lee laughed, patting my arm as though I understood the joke or humour of her statement. I downed my own wine, and handed the glass to a passing woman, who I was sure was not a waitress either. She scoffed and then noticed who I was before scurrying off bitterly.

We stood there, the body guards still and silent behind us and Ty Lee fiddling with her hands nervously before adding "I just arrived, from Kyoshi Island with Suki..."

"Zuko, wasn't Iroh trying to convince you to hit it off with Suki?" Azula asked, ignoring Ty Lee completely. "It would be a better candidate than... _Mai _ever was_" _she said the name like it was a bland tasting vegetable.

"Mai stopped writing" Ty Lee said, again touching my arm. "Last I heard was... after she had given birth but that was from Kuya really, telling me the child was a boy and Mai was... indisposed from your break up"

"I don't know Suki very well and she was with Sokka" I answered Azula, ignoring Ty Lee-or unsure how to answer.

"You know Ty Lee and I don't think she was with Sokka... at least, I think the list of people she wasn't with would be shorter and we can only hope he is on it" Azula said, taking a glass of wine from a woman-who was not a waitress again, and giving the woman a death glare when she thought of making a fuss about it. She took another long sip and pursed her lips. "Sour" she said "Like me"

"I think you are more bitter than sour" I muttered.

"Aren't they one and the same?" she asked, grabbing a glass-from a waiter this time, and handing it to me.

"The one is deadly and the other one is harmless" I said.

"Which one?" Azula asked, both of us ignoring Ty Lee's discomfort and confused fear.

"I'll let you figure that one out" I sighed.

"Which one do you think, Ty Lee?" Azula asked and Ty Lee's eyes widened. "Don't answer that, I want to keep my hopes up"  
>"Who wants to be called bitter or sour?!" Ty Lee asked perplexed.<p>

"Would you marry Zuko?" Azula asked suddenly, rounding on Ty Lee" Even though your friend was heart broken after betraying him and her family... in fact, betraying her nation and it would destroy her extremely if you married him?"

"I... am a Kyoshi warrior first most" Ty Lee mumbled.

"And then a whore second?" Azula asked and Ty Lee's face reddened-her eyes flashing with anger mixed with her lingering fear of Azula. "Such high morals, you have Ty Lee. Your priorities are _thoroughly_ organised"

"I think I see a group of men more attracted to me than you!" Ty Lee breathed scathingly "Good bye, and enjoying being _hated for the rest of your life!_"  
>"My point exactly" Azula drank her wine, finished it and then took my own glass. "You can take the whore to Kyoshi Island and train her all you want, but all you are doing is creating a Kyoshi whorerrior"<p>

"Play nice" I sighed.

"Would you sleep with her?" Azula asked and I flinched.

"I am not discussing my sex life with you"

"Well, heads up" Azula laughed, touching my arm were Ty Lee had touched it and giving me an indicative look "That little _whorerrior_, is going to attack your little _spear_ with her over used _sheath! _ And like hell I am having that as a sister in-law, we both know how your heart, brain and lust reside in your drawers!"

"You are drunk!" I took her hand off and scowled at her. "And crazy!"

"That's starting to get old, Zuzu... but drunk, hmm" she sighed tilting the wine glass in the light before signalling for two burly soldiers to follow her "Excuse me, I see some Earth Nation block heads who might hate me a little less than these Water Tribe whelps"

"Not after they meet you" I murmured.

I should probably rein her in.

I could rein her in.

Ah, let her have some fun... at least one of us was enjoying the hate.

Xx~xx~xX

**Thank you to all the reviewers and readers!**

**You may be irritated to hear , but I was thinking of posting another Avatar fic alongside this one-but totally different plots and such. I noticed that I post ten times faster with my 'twilight fics because I have three of them up and that means I am constantly at work with the characters, and it becomes natural and flowing to write them...**

**So I am hoping the same will apply with this!**

**Thank you once again for the support**

**Xx**

**TJ**

p.s pairing suggestions more than welcome, but not Korra.


	41. Grown Ups

**GROWN UPS**

It is an emerald garden sprinkled with little bushes and willowy flowers spot the grass. It isn't that expansive; most of the ground is covered by ice before the green grass carpets the perimeter of the pond. It is not the same as it had been those many years ago although it remains glorious; it is now smaller somehow, charmingly quaint and nothing short of enchanting…

But it may have had everything to do with the woman standing stiffly by the ponds edge, dressed in such a military fashion; dark green garment under a metallic black vest with arm braces polished and gleaming, her lush black hair pushed and set in such a manner that causes the overgrown bangs to hide most of her face and shield her opaque eyes from beguiling the wits of those that were cursed with sight.

She makes no reaction as I move over the frozen ground. I wonder stupidly whether the ice covering the earth would disrupt her seismic sight. I hope it does… the prospect of startling her intrigues me. I put one foot deliberately in front of the other, watching her and waiting for her to give a reaction.

She does nothing, head slightly tilted one way and fists clenched by her sides. Each breath she takes sends her hair floating briefly up-she is upset and fuming over something. I immediately stop; I am so used to being the reason for her anger over these past years… I try and recall our last conversation.

Surely she is used to our ferocious and sweet interactions by now? She and I were like two tornadoes attempting to slow dance; there would always be pandemonium… we would inexorably leave casualties in the wake of our romance and the excess of collateral damage that would come from permitting such a _yearning_ and _desire_ would be offensive to any sound logic and decency the world could contain.

"It's beautiful out here" I call and her lips purse. She knew I was here and I had just wasted ten seconds of my life trying to sneak up on her on the ground… I should know by now, that only through the air could the Great Toph Bei Fong be startled.

"Wouldn't know" she retorts tetchily. She turns completely away from me, her hair swinging violently with the motion. "It's cold… but it is also the only place with rich earth that is somewhat unfrozen"

She moves along the rim of the pond, occasionally sighing-I see a cloud of smoky air move from her each time. I may be tipsy…

My wine glass is half empty and as I tilt the crystal glass, the beautiful satin color stains and swirls enchantingly. I raise the glass to my lips, still watching Toph and gulp down the remainder of the liquid and seal any confusion over my state. Now, I am definitely tipsy.

Everything is different; I can no longer hide behind the reckless passion of youth and attack her into an embrace. I understand too much of the world now, I understand too much of _my world _and that of hers… I understood that she and I were like the moon and the sun. The unnaturalness of both standing side by side…

"This place is peaceful" I tell her, moving forward with a little more speed. There are guards at the entrances, watching us tensely… or rather, watching _me _tensely. Of course, the last time a Fire Nation citizen had been in this serene place… the moon had turned red and a spirit was left dead. I gulp down that guilt and concentrate on her form; I notice how her hair is set almost identically in the style she would have it when she was a child. When she was a child and would shrewdly hide that distressing beauty she possessed from the world and thus, spared many a million the agony of falling senselessly and irreconcilably in love with her. Oh, she had spared the world in her adolescence but now in her fresh adulthood she had flung the arsenal upon me and I was wretchedly and willingly plagued by the love I had for her-my every heartbeat haunted by my everlasting affection for this one woman.

"It is also sacred" I say, now standing beside her by the edge of the pond.

"Is anything sacred anymore…?" a glorious ghost of air moves from her lips and she tilts her head to the night sky and breathes out deliberately again. She isn't short any longer; it is as if she grew overnight. It reminds me exactly how young we had been when we had rescued the world from Ozai… how incredibly young she had been, more so. The youngest of us.

"You are so beautiful it hurts" I breathe.

"You are scorching the earth…" she retorts and I look at my feet. Through my leather boots the heat seeps out and the grass crunched beneath my shoes is wilting and sweating and soaked in a browning puddle.

"You could feel that…?" I ask her. She sighs beautifully again, vaporized diamonds flung lavishly from her lips and into the clear night. I am past tipsy maybe, but the truth has always been that her every action hypnotized me.

"I can always feel your heat" she laughs nervously after a minute "it is a serious give away in a combat"

"I miss you" I say.

"You shouldn't" she reprimands followed by another wistful sigh from her delectable chilled pink lips. She moves away from me, a few steps and then tilts her head towards me and says "I miss you too, Zuko"

I let her have her space, I allow her to move two more steps. If she needs it, if she thinks it would help with the hallowed sin her and I have awoken between us… then she can have it all! A kilometer too on top of her steps if it woul give her peace of mind...

I know I can't be helped or institutionalized from this… I am conclusively stained for the balance of my life; and as Agni had cursed, I was still _far_ from death in this youth unless I just gave up on it all and allowed all my conspirators to each have a piece of the sum of my life right this moment.

They could extinguish it and I would not protest because the light it gave was dim, meager and pointless against the darkness of never _exclusively_ and _freely _having her.

I watch the two spirits dance in the crystal waters of the pond; an eerie purple light seems to pulse from somewhere deep in the revered waters. I wonder which one she is between the two fish… it doesn't matter with the way the move. They are one…

"She is eternal"

"She?" Toph asks.

"The fish, the spirit… Sokka's first and at times I think true love" I murmur. "She will live on… after we are done making our mark on the world. After our little lights flicker and go out… hers will still burn brightly"

"Wow…" Sokka walks across the lawn, a thick bottle with dark liquid in his hand. He isn't swaying but his eyes are bloodshot and there is no hope of seeing the heat on his skin with its dark shade. The guards tense more so and I notice that some of them have moved closer. Who could blame them; the shambled group surrounding their spirits was as unpredictable as it gets.

"You make it sound so… sad… Zuko" Sokka slurs, opening his bottle and taking a long swill from it before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand "She did a great and noble thing" he adds in veneration, positioning himself between Toph and me and pulling us by the neck so we are huddled over the dancing sleek fish, his breath tinged with alcohol.

"So selfless…" his voice was shaky and the alcohol-whiskey I realized-strong "But she… she left me and turned into fish! And now…" he paused, gulping away a sob and readjusting a politely squirming Toph more securely in his grip "And now Suki and Suki has…"

"Turned into a fish?" Toph offered.

"Worse…!" Sokka croaked "She has turned into… into…. Azula's best friend!"

"Now, how on earth did all these girls manage to free themselves from you with your titanium grip…!?" Toph gasped managing to free herself from Sokka "Is beside me!"

"Toph?" I turned stiffly in Sokka's grip and watched her charge off, insolently waving her hand for the guard to move out of her way. In a second, she had disappeared back into the palace.

"Zuko, old buddy… I know I never used to like you when we were kids…" Sokka began and I groaned, freeing myself from him, unable to hide my annoyance and accidentally sending him stumbling half way over the pond before-by the grace of Agni-he righted himself and saved us both the embarrassment and shame of explaining why he was swimming with the spirits.

"…but you couldn't really blame me" Sokka hiccupped "You were trying to kill my sister's crush"

"My intention was to capture your sister's crush" I snapped "And secondly, when I was trying to _capture_ Aang… I was not doing it because he is your _sister's crush_ but because he is the _Avatar_. And another thing Sokka…!" I growled "Timing!"

"Timing for what?" he blinked bewildered.

"Argh, forget it…" I hissed, grabbing the bottle of whiskey and taking a long swig.

"Why is your sister talking to Suki?" Sokka asked after a moment.

"How should I know?" I sighed "For entertainment…"

"She wont… eat my ex girlfriend, will she?" Sokka asked half seriously "I mean, the break up was bad… but I don't think Suki deserves to be chewed up by an actual dragon"  
>"My sister isn't a dragon… and if she were, Suki wouldn't be her ideal choice for a meal" I grumbled "Stop worrying about it… you have enough on your plate as it is. Aren't you trying for council member?"<br>"Yeah… soon" he sighed "Many people are up for the idea of an adjustment in the structures of the justice… oh, man… why are we talking about this? I am way to drunk for this!"

"Right"

He took the bottle from me and walked off, still muttering on about Azula and Suki, in between stammers of his lost love. The moon emerged from behind a thick cloud and every beauty in the garden was blown out of proportion…

And my loneliness with it.

Xx~xx~xX

"Is it me… or does everyone seem a little…" Aang whispered, pulling me to a corner of the room "You know, tensed and depressed?"  
>"It's you" I muttered glaring at the bright room, and hating that I had to wear so much clothing to ward of the chill "I mean, of course everyone is happy; you have Sokka in the place of his first love's departure from the ways of humans as well as his ex girlfriend floating about with other beautiful kyoshi warriors he can never get with thanks to their loyalty to Suki…"<p>

"Then you have Toph who hates the cold…" I continued, pointing at Toph who was scowling at a random Water Nation man, who I prayed was not trying his luck with her (although her scowl made me hope he was… maybe she would give the night some entertainment… or a funeral) "You have many others who are taking to long to get drunk…"

I neglected to point towards a laughing Azula whose cheeks were blazing from too much wine, nor the poor girl who was Azula's source of entertainment… or the fact that the scene was topped of with Katara trying to pull Azula away from the girl who was close to tears. Katara finally managed to remove my sister from the miserable girl and they both made a beeline towards Aang and me.

"You know what I think Aang…" Ty Lee breathed but her opinion was interrupted by a sniggering drunk Azula.

"Ty Lee… thinking…!" Azula gasped, swinging from Katara's arms to cling onto my shoulder "Brother, save her before she bursts that singular brain cell she possesses!"

"Azula… enough" I sighed. "Ty Lee, you can say your piece…"

"I was going to say this would have been better if it weren't so… formal" Ty Lee's face was red "Oh, and that Zuko's funeral was more eventful than this bachelor party thingy you are attempting. At least at Zuko's funeral… he came back from the dead"

"Sweetie, Zuko wasn't really dead?" Katara said, in shock at Ty Lee's limited understanding of the world she lived in. "He never died, do you understand that part?"

"Boom!" Azula wiggled her fingers by the side of an unamused Ty Lee's head "The brain cell just exploded!"

"More like committed suicide" Aang whispered to me and my eyes widened.

"Avatar!" I gasped and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sokka" Suki arrived at our loose circle amidst all the other guests and gave Sokka (who had staggered in) a curt head nod.

"Suki" Sokka slurred before looking behind him, at Toph who was in the middle of reducing her potential courtier to ash. "I think Toph is going to lightning bend"  
>"Toph's an earth bender" Ty Lee shook her head "Even I know that"<p>

"I can't believe these are the people who helped me save the world" Aang continued giving me a private peanut gallery to the absurdness happening before us. "I mean… I am starting to think Toph may be… you know, _different_"

He nudged me and cocked his head over at Toph-and the retreating man. She was fuming, her nostrils flaring and hands clenched at her sides.

"Nothing feminine going on over there, if you know what I mean" Aang winked at me "She looks scarier than 'the Boulder'. I swear, if you did do what you think you did…"  
>"Which is what?" I hissed, pulling him away from our squabbling old comrades and further into the shadows "Aang, I thought you were not permitted to drink under the laws of the bold and tattooed?"<p>

"I am the only bold and tattooed person left and thus, I live by my own laws!" he raised a self righteous finger "And might I commend your humor, Zuko"

"It's the wine and whiskey" I said off handed "Now, what is it that you think I did?"  
>"Fell in love with Toph Bei Fong" Aang grinned "I knew you were, well… brave but that is taking on a whole lot more than you could ever handle" his grin fell off his face and seriousness clouded his grey eyes suddenly "I mean… you understand the situation with Takeshi"<p>

"Katara insisted you talk to me about my happiness" I guessed "Women and their meddling. Your concern isn't only for my happiness… it is also for the peace of the Fire Nation and Earth Nation, respectively"  
>"Zuko, you know better than that!" Aang insisted "I am your friend, your brother…"<br>"But you are the Avatar foremost and we had been dancing over the matter profusely, for too long" I said tonelessly "Don't worry, Avatar Aang. Toph Bei Fong and I know exactly where we stand with each other… if you would excuse me… I would like some fresh air of the non-spiritual kind"

"Zuko…!" he cried, startling our slowly drunken friends, but I didn't turn around… ignoring Toph's questioning expression and passing her silently. I was out and away from them. Let them sort out the inconsequential party… let them carry on as though we could return to our youth and come out victors a second time.

The world was changing, and if we denied its change and clung onto the little heavens from our past… we would be lost forever.

Xx~xx~xX

"Can I come in?" Katara asked.

"Katara, you are already in…" I sighed, wiping my face and turning away from her. I could see her easily through the reflection on the giant mirror. She was uncomfortable with being in my chamber with me half naked and wet, and so she opted to just stare intensely at a blank wall. "The guards here are useless… I said no visitors"

"I am the Avatar's wife… not some visitor" she grinned.

"I think we are getting ahead of ourselves there, Miss Fiancé" I chuckled, toweling my hair "And I don't think I am comfortable with the Avatar's _anything _visiting me at such strange hours while I am in my bath towel…"

"Well, get dressed then!" she flicked her hand impatiently, still looking away from me "I can wait…"  
>"Right" I sighed, reminded by her firmly held lip that Katara was very dictatorial when it suited her. I pulled my shirt over my head and was forced to comically pull my pants up from under the towel. I had given up my room for Azula, and refused to move into Azula's room. I wanted to be away from the royal dignitaries' wing completely… I wanted to be in a place were I wouldn't be searched for.<p>

I wanted to be alone with my loneliness.

"Done?" she asked petulantly, a sign that she was very much embarrassed for barging in when I could have been changing… because she was the 'Avatar's wife'.

"Done" I sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and busying myself with socks and a thick jacket... I may be a fire bender but the cold in this place was offensive to my chi. Was I to wear myself out to stay warm? I supposed it was my fault for throwing a mild tantrum for Aang and insisting on a lower quarter that had a fireplace positioned so far away from the bed that the cackling fire was ineffective…

"You stormed out?" she raised an eyebrow "Then insisted on this room..."

"Yes, I did" I answered her keeping my face impassive.

"I would have asked Toph to come and talk to you…" Katara wrung her hands over each other, never meeting my gaze "But she is the only one capable of managing Azula... and she sort of said she didn't really want to"

"Okay, and then?" I sighed "Katara, we had our heart to heart on the ship… the next heart to heart is scheduled for three more years. Can I sleep? It has been a long night of snobbery and hand shaking and then the girls got drunk…"

"Okay, fine" her anger flared "I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow night Suki and Azula are preparing the bachelor and bachelorette parties and I foresee _disaster_. And since one of the culprits to that pending doom is _Azula… _you may want to put up with snobbery and hand shaking before she burns this whole building down!"

And with that, the Avatar's fiancé stormed out…

"Being married to the Avatar doesn't mean you can just barge in and not close doors..." I grumbled but she was long gone and the guard sheepishly closed the door for her.

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**did i realise it had been five months... oh my gosh (hides in shame). Seeing as I am on holiday... i shall try and make up for that!**


End file.
